• Member Since 16th Dec, 2017
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

Hasty Revision

Trying to improve my grammar and sentence structures. Critique of any kind is always welcome.


Set in the reasonably near but indefinite future after "Molt Down".

Spike is growing up, a little bit at a time. It has its upsides. He can carry Rarity's luggage more easily, he gets to have a bigger bed, he doesn't fall asleep all the time, and, hey, wings are pretty cool, too!

Unfortunately, part of growing up is outgrowing things you used to take for granted. Alicorn Princess or not, Twilight's still a pony and ponies weren't built with carrying adolescent dragons in mind.

Something random that popped into my head while rewatching some of this season's episodes. It could be read as something of a tie in to my previous story, "Seven Hour Bubblebath", but it can be read as a standalone story as well.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 96 )

An absolutely beautiful slice of life.

Very sweet.

The title reminds of a song from Hamilton musical. "One Last Time"

PiMan #4 · Sep 3rd, 2018 · · 1 ·

Incidental spoilers for "Molt Down".

Spoilers entirely revealed by the story's picture?

“Forget the checklist!”

And that's how we know this is a fanfic.

Seriously though, a nice bit.

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

I can't say I've heard of it. I hope it's a good association.

...Yeah, I probably should have thought of that. In my defense, it was well past midnight in my timezone when I decided to post.

It could happen. Maybe. Possibly. I also considered her hastily drafting a new checklist on the spot.

Regardless, I'm glad you liked it.

I simply love this story!

Thank you, it's nice to see it's going over well.

Don't worry about it too much. Most fanfic readers who aren't up to date on episodes were probably spoiled around the time the episode came out thanks to so many new/featured stories using his wings as a cover image.

You're right, I forgot about one possibility...

Another great little piece you did! Liked it! :twilightsmile:

Thank you. I didn't expect this to get so much attention with how simple it is.

Wow, straight to the choke hold. Twilight doesn't mess around.

I suppose that's true. Honestly, if someone is trying to avoid spoilers, going to a fan fiction site is probably the worst possible thing they could do.

I'm probably going to Tartarus for this. Great (and sad) story.

My story ideas seem to be leaning a bit sad recently. This one isn't as sad as that song though. At least, I don't think it is. Did I go overboard?

It is tempting to answer with another song, in this case Metallica's Sad But True. :) Well, considering growing up in "Wonder Ponyland" aka Equestria is probably still a bit less hard than growing up as a human on earth, you may be right.

Well, he is a dragon in a country of ponies. That might increase the difficulty a little. The events of his birthday for example or the fact that he's always one sneeze away from destroying somepony's property. He'll have to walk on eggshells when he grows up.

Seriously, I often think Twilight is pretty much Spike's adoptive mother.

I've never been able to quite pin down how I'd define their relationship. The best that I've been able to come up with is that it's complicated, occasionally rocky, but always there.

Which I guess is the best case scenario one could reasonably hope to call "family".

Mommy Twilight stories make me smile.:twilightsmile: I know you didn't explicitly state this to be such, but that is how I see it. Excellent work.

This was a great little story. I like seeing the sweeter side of their relationship. I always pictured Twilight hoovering between Spike's mom and Spike's older sister. I know she calls him her Number one assistant and he does a lot of work, but chores are something all kids do in their life. I also know loving parents will at times call their child their number one helper or something along those lines every so often when their kid's helping them with something. :twilightsmile: :moustache:

A happy little story.
I like it.

Much like the show itself, it's open to interpretation. I'm glad you liked it.

Thank you. It looks like it can be read as either happy or sad. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

well, yes. It's quite sad at the same time.

His "number one assistant" title always felt like that sort of affectionate nickname to me. Like it started out as a game to fit quality time with him into her busy study schedule one day and then stuck. Thanks for reading.

Short and lovely.

This comment could be a story all it's own.

I'm glad you liked it.

Also, nice avatar.

You might have a point there. I'm sure someone has already explored that sort of theme somewhere on this site.

Tomorrow, the world continues.

But, tonight, the world ends. :pinkiesad2:

Aw! That was really cute.

A few years later, maybe Spike can return the favor by carrying Twilight around for a change.

I'm glad you liked it. Also, I'm tempted to try writing that now. That and about a thousand other things that refuse to get finished.

"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine."

Song reference aside, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.

But today, just for one last afternoon, he could be a silly little kid for a little longer.

That line reminds me of this scene from Recess School's Out.

As kids we all wanted to grow up faster, yet, as adults. We all want to return to the simple and innocent days of childhood.

One last adventure before the world catches up with them. If only they could stretch it a little further. This was a lovely piece.

awwwwwwwwww :applecry: that was so sad, yet so cute at the same time

OH yes! It's the best musical ever created. You should definitely watch it.

Hi ho, Twilight, Away!:twilightsmile:

Awwwwww, what a sweet story!! I love Spike and Twilight one shots like this.
And the new episode "Father Knows Best" only confirmed that Spike and Twilight have a mother-son relationship.

Faved. /)

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