• Member Since 3rd Dec, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

An Intricate Disguise


Selling out has never felt so dirty. (Patreon!)

E
Source

Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom lay in a park together, making fun of rich ponies as they pass them by.

It's funny how much can change in a few years.


Pre-read by the still alive shortskirtsandexplosions.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 41 )

Hmm

Alex_ #2 · Sep 1st, 2018 · · ·

This... this isn't porn :pinkiegasp:

You should write more stories like this. This is some good old fluff with some serious loving.

Diamond sure got poetically sappy at the end there, good thing Apple Bloom's a cheeky little... <3

That was funny, and had a few good and genuine relationship anxieties that always seem to be present in any relationship, it was nice.

No spoilers but I enjoyed the response about what one gives up in a relationship

Pictures sure can inspire amazing stories. Wonderful job showing us such a wonderful innocent story. <3

9146150
It's porn for the heart. <3

I'm surprised and pleased at the nuance shown here--both between Bloom and Diamond as they untangle class and their relationships, and Diamond's relationship with her mother. It's easy to say that someone was awful to you and an abusive spiteful witch or whatnot, but it's never actually that easy. It's also easy to say that the spoiled mean pony just needs to get away from the rich snobs and everything will be fine. But prejudice finds its place on both sides of the fence, and it's not that simple. Love never is.
This is good stuff; glad I read it.

9146181
That sounded better in my head.

9146184
Spoilers spoilers xD

JK any reader should know comments always have Spoiled content within them.

Something not porn, color me impressed

...Well, here's a shock. Not-Porn from you of all people. Jokes aside, cute story.

geb

It’s good.

Wow. Bravo. Just. Bravo. Excellent writing, excellent characters, excellent everything.

Overall the story is very dry and boring. Way too much narration and the dialogue is clunky. There's no elegance no vibrance, it sort of drones on. I think it has potential but don't narrate the story, draw me into it.

I loved it. I'm all about slice of life, and particularly the little hills and valleys in every relationship. I've thought of an older Diamond Tiara and older Applebloom getting together before, and this story makes it feel a bit more plausible. It carries the sweet scent of sentiment, and it's a lovely feel-good story. I would read more of these, if you decided to pursue this idea as a longer term project. Nicely done. :)

.Lotus

9146150

This... this isn't porn :pinkiegasp:

Heh, that's practically the same as the first thought that crossed my mind when I saw who the author was, except it went more along the lines of
"An Intricate Disguise wrote this? That An Intricate Disguise?!"
Perhaps it shouldn't have been suprising, but it was, nonetheless.

Also, the fact that shortskirtsandexplosions proof-read this caught my interest as well.

9146184
Yeah, no. Apple Bloom is just a classist asshat who at no point actually repented for the fucked upshot she said about Vinyl and her own girlfriend. And any rich kid with a bad upbringing.

DT should ditch her.

I didn't get far into this before saying no. A few paragraphs of pretentiousness, before just more fluff, before finally getting to dialogue that I at first was confused about who it was coming from, was bad enough. However, following that with Apple Bloom using a word like Euthanasia and the fucked up concept that Equestria is against gays/lesbians with that joke was enough for me to say no. That's a bloated way to start a story, and a horrible way to try to sell me on the concept that you know how to write these two characters at all.

You think putting an E tag on one of your stories will stop me from jerking off to it?

9147088
Oh yeah? What does pretentious mean?

Also, do you know how comma placement works?

pony watching? I luv pony watching i watch it every saterday when it cums on the hub

Not used to seeing you write E rated stories lol. This is a pretty good dissection of Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara's innate differences based on their respective upbringings and the way society has played a part into how they perceive each other and class in general. It's also an intriguing take on what could've happened with DT's parents after any potential divorce, and it's good to see they've managed to overcome the bumps in the road despite everything that could've gone against them. A little corny for me at times with all the descriptive prose, it is also very sweet and left me with a warm feeling of satisfaction afterwards. Or maybe, that was just my porridge going down. In any case, I enjoyed it. :scootangel:

9147088

A few paragraphs of pretentiousness

Not sure how you came to that conclusion. Where was the underlying pretentiousness that you're stating? Unless you have a hate boner for Intricate here, I'm just going to assume that you came into this with low expectations for no reason in particular.

However, following that with Apple Bloom using a word like Euthanasia and the fucked up concept that Equestria is against gays/lesbians with that joke was enough for me to say no.

r/woosh

Just going to put this in spoilers for the sake of others here.

Not once did he say that the concept was about Equestria hating lesbians/gays, but rather that the supposed rich of Equestria did not like them. That's why they talked like Apple Bloom and Diamond Tiara were pompous, because that's how people are sometimes: pompous. They were assuming this stereotype, a class role that these rich ponies were pompous enough to think that gays were wrong and Euthanasia was the only way out. Yeah, it's a joke in poor taste without context, but with context...

...it definitely got me laughing.

I get that not everyone is going to like the same jokes, but here's some advice: maybe instead of having a hate boner for someone, maybe you should read for context.

That's a bloated way to start a story,

And your comment isn't...?

Comment posted by Marcthelightspark2004 deleted Sep 2nd, 2018

A cute story to be sure, but I get the sense that while Diamond Tiara may have cut out most of all the bad prejudice she used to carry (and rightfully so, I suppose), it doesn’t seem like AB has made the same stretch. DT gave up a previous life to live with someone she had once seen as lesser. That implies that she has changed her world view about working class ponies to some extent. AB’s cutting remark about Vinyl, and indirectly about DT, reveals that she continues to carry pre-conceived notions about someone’s character because of their wealth, and those thoughts were never really recanted in any way.

It seems to me that while Diamond Tiara has made pains to understand Apple Blooms world, Apple Bloom hasn’t given the effort to understand hers. Their relationship is sweet, but I leave thinking it’s skewed unfavorably.

Some words doubled up here and there.
Overall this was sappy mushy hot mess.
I loved it.

9146150
Changeling. Obviously.

9147080
I actually had that thought for a moment as well.
But the thing is, these issues take time to untangle out of your head. As mentioned in the story, Diamond's own prejudices and issues were buried DEEP and it took a long time for them to come up here. The same could be said for Applebloom. Sure she still has those prejudices, but she DOES love Diamond Tiara. And she wants to keep trying for her.

9148421
I guess I deserved the downvotes. My only defense is that I wasn’t exactly feeling good when I posted. :pinkiesick:

Nevertheless, saying that DT should ditch her over this was really too much from me.

Still, even if she doesn’t internalize it, you’d think that AB should be able to intellectually understand that implying that being born rich is some sort of curse is kinda fucked up, and thus apologies. She said a number of fucked up things she never even acknowledged as fucked up a any point in this fic. That’s really my biggest issue here.

9148459
Yeah. AB did say a lot of things. And DT called her on a few of them. I think that's where the drama from this fix comes from. They're both calling each other on their shit.

And the resolution comes in the form of them realizing that the other isn't perfect but loving each other anyway.

This was such a good read. Top marks in all areas.
Absolutely fantastic.

Very nice and romantic in it's own way.

This was a very straightforward and enjoyable story with lots of fluff and the sort of randomly-popping-up relationship issues that happens in real relationships. ... Probably why some people complaining don't understand the story, really.

I was pleased to see that both characters are flawed and regular people, rather than moral mouthpieces. Neither is a terrible person, and beyond what they've essentially pledged to work on, neither is so far off the path that they need to focus on changing who they are to be a better person. They are just average people with a shared past and bonding future. Really helps sell the love.

These are certainly two characters I wouldn't have thought of shipping. Wasn't sure what to expect, but I really loved the depth at which you characterized their relationship! That last moment between them may have been corny, but in the best way possible. Keep it up, good sir!

A lovely tale of pulling a muscle while reaching across the class divide, and the resulting therapy. Thank you for some wonderful fluff.

"I don't see imperfection."

"And I see past yours!"

:rainbowlaugh:

I'm just going to get this out of my system now. It's so fluffy I'm gonna die! I feel better now. :heart: Nice fluff piece Intricate.

That was one of the most beautiful one shot stories I'm such a sup it got me tearing up well done

Very romantic, very enjoyable. You can have my thumb up :rainbowkiss:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!