• Member Since 6th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

lillytheomegawolf


I enjoy reading and writing cute ponies. If my works brighten up your day, even better.

T
Source

As the newest Princess in Equestria, Twilight Sparkle discovers that there are new experiences to be had. As she learns about her new body, she discovers a certain element shared by pegasus ponies. Wings.

With the help of Princess Luna, she embarks on a noble quest to discover what a wingboner truly is, and just what kind of information it relays to other ponies.
                   
This story is a cute, silly TwiLuna one shot. Set just after Twilight's ascension at the end of season 3.
Be prepared for wingboners, silliness and plenty of Tuna.

Special thanks to super3rainbow1 for all his help in the creation of this silly fic.
Artwork by Amarynceus, creator of many amazing Tuna artworks.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

No fish found.

“That will come with time and practice. If you have trouble, I can always catch you.” Luna smiled warmly.

:twilightblush: Sounds like I should want to have trouble...

:rainbowlaugh:

Adorable! I love Tuna stories like this, it makes me feel all happy inside! :twilightsmile:

9182055
Thank you, feedback such as yours makes me want to keep writing more Tuna :twilightsmile:

Ooo a bit of nice fuzzy Tuna in morning? gonna be a good day.

In my day it was called Twiluna, and we had to walk uphill in the snow both ways to find some. /oldmangrump

I'm not sure. But honestly a lot of the dialogue and romance feels... forced. For one example, near the start, where Twilight is pointedly badgering her friends about her own biology when they're clearly uncomfortable discussing it, and just leaves Luna sitting there while she's harrying them on why her wings do a thing. That feels a bit much like trying to push the theme into every corner of the story and OOC. There's also a lack of capitalization in some places, and what I assume are typos in Luna's olden speech pattern.

As for the romance, Luna just calls out Twilight on her subconscious plumage display meaning physical attraction and then asks her out, and we're given no context to believe they've been working on a closer relationship off-camera before the story started (otherwise Twilight would know about her wings already, one would assume) - which feels somewhat OOC for Luna. However this is typically waived as a concern when dealing with short shipfics, since the point is seeing the two primary characters hit it off.

The premise isn't necessarily new but it is fun to see in a Twiluna perspective, and the content was fairly fluffy, which is always nice, especially in a cute shipfic. Overall this was an enjoyable experience, and I rather liked the idea.

Princess Luna nodded slowly as considered her next question, “thou like the way we look?”

Should be 'thou likest'.

Luna giggled as she eyed the beautiful set of wings on full display for her. “We see thoust still has trouble controlling your wings,” she teased with a grin. “And… your feelings of attraction.”

Should be 'we see thou still hast trouble controlling thy wings'.

“Twilight, in pegasi, this is considered a sign, of well… what thoust would refer to as ‘sexual arousal,’ when you are highly attracted to another.”

Should be '. . .what thou wouldst refer to as. . .'

“It tis a part of it. But the way your wings are extended I can see tis more than simply surprise. . ."

Should be ' 'Tis a part of it. But the way thy wings are extended I can see 'tis more than simply surprise. . .'.

And I could go on, but I won't, because although you seem to have no grasp on how to use the second person informal singular, you do write a jolly good story. ;-)

Congrats on making the front page of fimfiction.

9182622
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9182546
Thanks for the feedback. The story was meant to be to be a bit silly (as mentioned on the front description). This isn't one of my serious shipping stories (more serious TwiLuna is on its way). I suppose I should have backed up why Luna's not sticking brilliantly to her olden Equestrian but I didn't think it mattered too much for this story. As far as I can tell, in the new episodes, she appears to have shifted to newer speech. Since this story is sort of set half way between the time she arrived back in Equestria and the newer episodes, I figured that she would be in the middle of such a language transition and using a bit of both. I may not have pulled it off too well. But hopefully, the focus here was in the right places to give you some laughs and some fun fuzzy moments.

Overall a good story, an enjoyable ride. My main issue is how you seem to bounce between a natural feeling flow and it turning forced. You get some parts to move freely and well but other times you seem to force the story out making it feel flat. It's as much a pacing issue as it is failing to give the story depth. Definitely full of enough fluffy moments to make it a good read and I definitely enjoyed it but it could use a littler work with the dialogue moments and few scenes could use touch up to expand them and make them less clunky.

9184026
Ok, fair enough. Thanks for the feedback.
You never know, I may revisit this :pinkiehappy:

I've always thought that the whole "Wings Up" was a natural safety feature in a species that was meant to do things in flight, and that it didn't just have to be Physical attraction, or stimulation that triggered it, just things that drew the winged Creatures entire Attention while in flight.
Triggering it on the ground would be a bit harder, but still could be any thing, like a Rock to the head, a Beautiful sun/moon rising, Jump scares, Finding out that you forgot your wallet/purse/cash at a restaurant.

This felt kind of odd but cute.

Congrats on the feature and this was completely adorable even if I personally don't ship the pair together, I can easily see why they would play off each other well. And fluffy cute stories are rather enjoyable to read when I have time now. Felt weird to read a story set during season 3 since I've gotten used to Twilight as an alicorn now but this was a nice return to a simpler time.

9187962
Thanks.

Well, twily is still an alicorn in this, but a new one. But yes, it was sort of a return to the simpler times. I have something a bit more up your ally coming soon that's primarily flutterdash.

9187871
Thanks, its great to know that :pinkiehappy:

TwiLuna is one of my most favorite ships. I loved it! :twilightsmile:

After hearing about the so-called "wingboner" I basically would equate it TO sexual attraction. Yes, it could possibly be more of the fight-or-flight response from Pegasi, but that would be more battle oriented or athletic ponies. This was a really cute story, and I would LOVE to see more of it. I would enjoy reading more about how this relationship would bloom and develop. :heart:

Usually, whenever a story starts with "The mane six...", I simply close the tab.
Using nicknames like Tia, Lulu or Twi in narration is just as awful.
But, I'm a massive sucker for TwiLuna and this fic was cute enough that it managed to get an upvote out out of me regardless.
Could've been a bit more detailed and subtle in places, the setup feels slightly *cough* forced, but the adorkableness is definitely there when it counts.

Yeah I gave up on this as soon as Dislestia was brought into it. I'm fine with TwiLuna and I'm more than fine with FlutterDash, but Discord with any pony is an automatic no for me. It's very much up there with Twilestia and Spike with any pony ships for me, just an automatic nope. I just can't see Discord with anyone, pony or otherwise.

You'd think with all that reading shed be a bit less innocent. Cute story.

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