• Member Since 26th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen November 25th

RadiantBeam


I live on a farm of plotbunnies.

E

With Sunset's high school graduation looming ever closer, Twilight knows she has to ask her a very important question while they travel together today. The problem is, she's just realized she doesn't know how to ask her question.

Written for Sunset Shipping Contest: Journeys.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 16 )

This was another wonderful Sunlight story! :twilightsmile:

Can't wait for more and instant fave!

9141354

Thank you very much!


9141666

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the story. :twilightsmile:

Great work! You do some great stories. I especially liked Twilight's thoughts throughout the fic. I featured this on episode 235 of my podcast, Pony 411.

This kind of thing is why I read shipping fanfiction. I really love how you pace your internal monologues. It feels organic, and it always conveys this ebb and flow of emotion. Here, you do a great job of getting inside Twilight’s head and taking us through the journey of her overthinking, complete with intermittent distractions. Another favourite from me.

Lovely stuff. It does spin its wheels at times when Twilight's especially deep in her own head, but all told it's a very sweet story. Thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

9150215

Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed the story.

9151934

Thank you kindly for both the lovely comment and the critique. I'll have to make a note to work on how to keep things flowing on things like this for future work; I admit I'm not very used to writing long one-shots like this, so that may be part of the issue. Glad you enjoyed, and thanks again!

That was some good shit. Cute as hell with all the quirks I'd expect from Twilight.

9156552

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

"Hey, princess."
"Sunset, we're dating. You don't have to call me by my title."
"Of course, princess."

This was really sweet. Good luck!

9150161

I somehow completely missed this comment, oops. Thank you very much! I'll give the episode a listen.

9157438

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.

From you, every Sunset-involved story is gold.
Seeing it placed would be more than great.
I hope it will be placed, and I would be glad if it becomes 💛❤

9166873

Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed the story.

I don't see any glaring issues. Like most contest-fics it was over too quickly and didn't really seem to make an effort to draw me in, relying mostly on imagery of cute girls smooching.
The best interactions were Sunset's snark.

Only a few glaring errors; place or two where you missed a space after a period, and one that was ubiquitous. "Princess of Friendship" is a proper noun, and is always capitalized. The title "Princess" when referring to the person who holds the title is a proper noun and is always capitalized. When you're talking about a princess or the idea of a princess it is lowercase, but a specific Princess is capitalized.

9151934
I had the same thought, but since it's more or less Twilight POV it can withstand some of her wool-gathering.

9192681

Bah, thank you for the critique. I'll have to give this a reread once my mind isn't made of fluff and mush to see what I can fix up. And glad you enjoyed Sunset's snark, I had fun with that.

Probably too much fun, but eh.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I did not think you could stretch a single question out to ten thousand words and still have a good story, and I was wrong. :)

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