The following morning's dawnbreak suffused Pinkie with a delicious warmth. The events and activity of the previous day brought a smile to her plump face as she sat down at her vanity and brushed out her mane. Having such ridiculously curly hair warranted an almost Rarity level of care, lest it knot and tangle uncomfortably.
She thought of the soft chirruping noise Dash had made in her ear, and her smile widened. Love sang in her heart as she slid down the railing to the bakery proper and hit the floor skipping. Waving to her host parents, she raced out into the morning light and beelined towards the cloud-house constructed on the edge of town.
She hummed to herself as she skidded to a halt. She selected a stone and closed an eye, tongue poking from her lips as she tossed it skyward.
“Rise and shine Rainbow Dash! It's a brand new day and we got a lot of pranking to…”
The stone clicked off something with a dull clank and an exclamation of “ow”. She plopped onto her haunches and stared as an eagle's visage stared over the edge of the little cloud-lawn.
“oh.”
Pinkie backpedaled slightly as the griffon cocked her head and stared at her, pupils dilating like she was tracking prey. Dash poked her head over and smiled, diving towards the ground and giving Pinkie a nudge with a hoof.
For Dash, that was as good as a tight hug.
“Hey Pinks. Gilda, this is who I was telling you about; my fillyfriend Pinkie Pie.”
The griffon landed, and those fierce honey-colored eyes examined Pinkie like something she'd pick out of her teeth with a clawtip. Pinkie's ears folded back, and she tried not to breathe too heavily. Not much scared her, but a carnivorous creature that radiated aggression like the hen before her ranked pretty highly up on her list.
“Sup.”
Pinkie leaned into Dash and chewed her lip. She couldn't help but note the harsh burr of accent- between voice and the markings around her eyes, she seemed like a Griffonstone native. Griffons from Trottingham or the Griffish Isles were pleasant. Ones from the homeland… were not.
Rainbow Dash seemed to be ignoring or oblivious to the tension. “Pinkie, this is my friend Gilda, from back in Junior Speedster's.”
Her eyes sparkled with mirth and she sniggered. “Hey, remember the chant?”
Gilda spread wings and took flight. Pinkie's mouth grew very dry. The half-lion, half-eagle beast was packed with muscle, and seemed half again as large as she was- and Pinkie wasn't a small pony. “Tch, they made us recite it every morning, I'll never get that lame thing out of my head.”
Rainbow Dash stared and smirked. Gilda rolled her eyes and sighed. “Only for you.”
In unison, they chanted. It even came with a dorky little aerial dance. Rainbow Dash had her signature enthusiasm, Gilda seemed like she'd rather do literally anything else.
“Junior Speedsters are our lives,
Sky-bound soars and daring dives
Junior Speedsters, it's our quest,
To someday be the very best!”
To Pinkie, it smoothed everything out. Obviously Gilda cared very much for Dash. If she liked Dash, everything should be fine. She clapped, her hooves coming together with cheerful metallic clinks that underpinned her burbling giggle.
“Oh that was awesome, and it gave me a great idea for a prank. Gilda, you game?”
Gilda stared at her for a second, before chuckling. “Huh. Well, I groove on a good prank as much as the next griffon. But Dash, you promised me we'd get a flying session in this morning.”
Dash rubbed the back of her neck and shrugged helplessly. “Yeah, uh, well, Pinkie Pie, you don't mind, do you? Gilda just got here, and she came an awful long way. We'll catch up with you later?”
Pinkie felt her heart break a little as Gilda stared at her and rested a talon on Dash’s withers. “Oh. Um, well sure, no problem. Have fun you guys, I'll, uh, just catch up with you… later.”
Later turned out to never come. She saw them in the distance repeatedly over the day, mostly at elevation. She even borrowed Cherry Berry's pedalcopter to try and interact with them on their level. Rainbow Dash was always happy to see her, but easily distracted off by Gilda, who grew more and more aggressive throughout the day.
The final straw was when Gilda sent the copter plummeting back to Earth. That was when Pinkie went to Twilight for advice.
Twilight didn't seem impressed. Probably because of the whole ink thing the day before, even if she'd laughed it off the time. Probably because she was busy when Pinkie burst through the door in near-tears.
“So Pinkie Pie, are you sure that this friend of Rainbow Dash is really so mean?” She barely glanced up from her task of stamping and sorting returned books to be shelved.
Pinkie Pie paced back and forth, chewing her lip. “Um, yeah. She keeps stealing Rainbow Dash away, she told me to buzz off, and she almost crashed the copter! I could have been very hurt, Twilight. I've never met a griffon this mean.”
Sunset poked her head in from the kitchen, where she was preparing lunch. “Sounds to me like someone's jealous.”
Pinkie pursed her lips and thought, scuffing a hoof across the flooring. “Ehm… Jealous?”
Sunset rolled her eyes as she came in. “Yeah. Jealous. Listen, griffons are a little rude and standoffish, that's just their culture. If you keep bugging her she'll just get more angry. Plus… your marefriend is allowed to hang out with creatures that aren't you. Maybe give them some space?”
Pinkie's shoulders slumped, and she nodded. “You're probably both right. Maybe Gilda isn't a big meanie grumpy mean-meanie-pants. Maybe I'm just a big jealous judgmental jealous-jealousy-pants.”
She turned and left them alone, too. She went to the market, hoping a milkshake would make her feel better.
It tasted good, but didn't make her feel any better. She slumped at her table and sipped every so often, watching the ponies in the market. She watched Gilda land and thought about calling out to her, but restrained herself.
She watched as Gilda scared Granny Smith. But that was a prank, surely.
She watched Gilda snag an apple and bite into it. Probably a free sample sign Pinkie couldn't see, surely.
The last straw came when Fluttershy accidentally bumped into her and apologies were met with Gilda displaying claws and roaring in her face. Pinkie's eyes narrowed.
“She's a grump, and a thief, and a bully. The meanest kind of mean meanie-pants there is. No one treats Fluttershy like that. No. One. This calls for extreme measures, Pinkie Pie style.”
Unsurprisingly, Pinkie Pie style involved a party. On all accounts, it was a great party. Pinkie listened to the chatter. Under one hoof, she thought Gilda's attitude might be improved by a party just for her. Under the other, ponies talked at parties. When ponies talked, Pinkie listened.
She'd made sure that Gilda would arrive slightly behind everypony else. When she finally came through the door of Sugarcube Corner the party was in full swing. First, a test.
“Gilda! I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties, and I really, truly, sincerely, hope you feel welcome here amongst all us pony folk.”
She stretched out a hoof. When it was grasped, she pressed the joy buzzer concealed against her frog to the palm of Gilda's talon. The griffon jerked and grunted at the mild shock coursing up her forearm, but seemed to maintain her cool in the face of the crowd's giggling.
She managed to continue for a surprisingly long time. But it seemed the party was designed to test the patience of a griffon. Pepper in the lemon drops, punch in a dribble cup. A can of paper snakes as a present. With every new, low effort but extremely annoying prank and bout of laughter, Gilda's powerful frame vibrated a little more and the cords in her neck stood higher with tension.
The last straw was being blindfolded and jostled, and accidentally walked straight into a wall. The griffon rose, and snapped with a war-shriek. “This is your idea of a good time? I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life.”
She pointed a dagger-sharp claw. “And Pinkie Pie, you! You are Queen Lame with your weak little party pranks. Did you really think you could make me lose my cool? Well, Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together.”
She vibrated with restrained hostility, making for the door. “Come on Dash, we're bailing on this pathetic scene.”
Dash scuffed a hoof across the floor. “You know Gilda, I was the one who set up all those weak pranks at this party. So I guess I'm Queen Lame.
Gilda's eyes narrowed. “Come on, Dash, you're joshing me.”
Rainbow Dash looked up at the ceiling, folding her wings in tight. “They weren't all meant for you specifically, it was just dumb luck that you set them all off.”
Pinkie Pie sniggered and nudged Twilight. “I shoulda known, that dribble cup had Rainbow Dash written all over it.”
Fury had turned to hurt and disbelief. “No way. It was Pinkie Pie. She set up this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me.”
Pinkie Pie frowned. “Me? I threw this party to improve your attitude. I thought a good party might turn that frown upside down.”
Rainbow Dash might have been all of three feet tall, but she still pushed between Gilda and Pinkie with wings flared, hooftip scraping the floor aggressively. “And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself. You know, this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go find some new cool friends someplace else.”
Gilda closed her eyes for a moment. “Fine. When you decide not to be lame anymore, gimme a call.”
Rainbow Dash hung her head as the door slammed behind her, and the space echoed with silence.
Twilight cleared her throat. “Wow, what was that about?”
Dash sighed and scuffed a hoof. “Gilda is… uncomfortable around ponies. I never noticed how… rude and mean she could be. Just because she's afraid of being judged doesn't mean she can act like that. I'm sorry she spoiled the party, Pinkie.”
Pinkie shook her head. “If you wanna hang out with grumps, that's your business.”
Dash gently rested hooves on either of Pinkie's chubby cheeks. The crowd let out a collective “awww” as she leaned to peck her nose. “I'd rather hang out with you.”
The evening found Dash and Pinkie at the library. They sat on cushions close to one another, Dash studiously ignoring the way Pinkie's hoof cupped her own. Twilight had wanted the full story for a letter to Princess Luna.
Sunset gently patted Dash's back. “I'm proud of both of you. It was very big of you to stand up for Pinkie like that, Dash. And Pinkie, it was very big of you to keep trying trying to like Gilda. It's very easy to see a partner's ex in a bad light.”
Twilight smiled at her friends. “Spike, take a letter please.”
Dearest Princess Luna,
Today I learned that it's hard to accept when somepony you like wants to spend time with somepony who's not so nice. Though it's impossible to control who your friends hang out with, it is possible to control your own behavior. Just continue to be a good friend. In the end, the difference between a false friend and one who's true will surely come to light.
Your true friend,
-Twilight Sparkle.
P.S. Mom says hello.
Yeah, not much in the way of ripple effects here.
9397629
Yeah not much I could have done without being "change for the sake of change" rather than organic. I hope it's not too disappointing.
9397629
And that's good. ^^
Gilda was much a bitch back then
Do you think with Sunset present certain episodes can improved because of nonsense that happened?
I'm only saying this because it was at the end. Twilight being a wing-pony to Sunset and Luna. How weird would that be for Clestia if they hit it off? I mean don't get me wrong they are a good ship but, even with how long clestia has lived this will be a first. Her adopted daughter hooking up with her sister; You gotta admit when she first figures this out she is going to be screaming behind that smile... Please make that happen if not something with a similar impact.
Of course after The Last Treasure of Griffinstone Twilight would have to send a remedial letter since Gilda isn't a false friend to Rainbow Dash just extremely rude and a jerk.
Why is this on hiatus?
Honestly just want to know why.
9399170
Huh I wonder. Not like I posted a blog about it or anything...
9399175
... what?
Hiatus?! Nooooooooooo...
9400031
I blogged about the giants
9399206
You said:
Poly relationships don't equate to harems. That's kinda offensive
And I'm not sure if you were serious, or if I'm reading into it too much.
9400164
I never read them.
9400231
*hiatus
9400176
It's about as offensive as referring to a transgirl as a "trap" or "tranny"
9400263
I'm still not sure I understand how herding is offensive, but I'll just take your word for it.
9400728
Ok
Loving the story <3 Can wait to Read More!
9402788
Well... thank you for your well-thought, reasonable, and polite criticism.
A lot of people equate the deleted commentary to "can't take criticism" or think that I delete any critical comment. Even if you didn't go on to sugar it a little bit by saying what you liked or had done well, I still would have found this valuable. This isn't yet another "lol retreading the series" or trying to correct Twi's mom's name or any of the other screechy bullshit I've redacted. You had a problem, and worded the issue intelligently and politely, pointing it out while attacking neither myself nor the work.
I can't really say anything to the actual content of the comment, but it's largely a YMMV issue. The hiatus is to allow me to take more time on each chapter, to bridge together a coherent storyline, and to track out what would or could change without being change, for the sake of.
One of the largest issues is that I don't have much in the way of collaboration or advice, and most of the commentary is divided between quips, blind praise, and diatribes.
9403120
You are right and I should have sugared it a bit more, because as I have said, their is a lot to like about your story.
And I really hope those other people don't get you down to much...it doesn't take much effort to read a few of the oldest comments where you have addressed some of these issues before...and anyone who is insulting the author with ad hominem style attacks deserves their comment to be deleted.
We, as commenters can do better...and in fact should. (The fact your highly reasonable comment in response to me got a downvote is utterly ridiculous.)
Now that I have read your story fully, I feel more qualified to actually make a good set of comments.
But before I do so, I will make one further comment in responce to your reply to mine.
That's a fair point to make and while on any other chapter I would say, "Well if the changes aren't apparent, the chapter isn't necessary," this is the moment that starts everything going, the moment all the friends meet up. You can't just skip Nightmare Moon. In addition, while Twilight didn't show many changes, as I said before, Pinkie most certainly has, so you can't skip her introduction to the story.
So I feel you. Rock, Hardplace issue here.
What I will suggest is you make use of some of the facts you did sprinkle into this chapter. The fact she has researched Sombra and Discord in the past should mean her reactions to those two character's returning should be one of the more noticeable changes. How much knows will be interesting.
I also note you didn't mention Queen Chrysalis on your list of pre-researched villains, a nice nod to the fact her race is supposed to have been secretive and cunning. It will be VERY interesting to see Twilight reacting to a situation and a villain that she has literally no knowledge of....or how Queen Chrysalis's plans change given that Twilight knows far more about whats going on in Cadance and Shining Armor's life.
Although that's a long way off.
Also I want to re-iterate my praise for your Pinkie Pie. While it is very clear she has changed, and is both more intelligent and more knowledgable, its very much the same Pinkie Pie at heart. You changed her enough to make her a new character, without compromising what she is. And this allows you a lot more freedom then most. It is, after all, hard to write the traditional Pinkie Pie, with people often going to zanny and crazy and thus missing the point....or going the complete other way, and hiding her in the background.
This Pinkie Pie, is very unlikely to do either of those things, and I hope we see more of her (as is likely expected, given Twilight's feelings towards Pinkie currently)
I also loved the dynamic you created with Twilight's original friends, and I hope that you take the time to explore that relationship again, either before, or just after "Boast Busters" as I find it hard to believe this Twilight, especially with both Sunset and Spike watching over her, completely forgetting about her old friends.
While Moon Dancer at the same time is going to be less broken up about all this, as Twilight had already faded away by the time of her birthday party on Nightmare Night.
Following on from that, I wish more was discussed about what the death of Twilight's parents could mean. While the changes to Pinkie's character seem to imply this was more "The Butterfly effect, to guide destiny back on track" before Pinkie was introduced, a case could be made that this was the interference by another party (either Celestia, seeking to make sure her sister is saved as planned, or FAR MORE LIKELY in this story, a cult dedicated to Nightmare Moon, believing that Twilight was the "Stars" mentioned in the Prophecy.)
But everyone seemed to ignore the interesting little possibilities there.
Finally, while I loved the last two chapters, and find the developing romance between Pinkie and Dash to be interesting, I would urge you not to do every episode. Some episodes are going to be slightly different (as the Apple*ucked Season turned out to be) others, like "Feeling Pinkie Keen" and "Boost Busters" promise to be quite different, at least on a characters thoughts, dialog and emotions level.
And some episodes, may have no changes at all. The first one of these that springs to mind is "Call of the Cutie" And these last episodes, I urge you not to do, unless you think they are somewhat important to the story or change in some unexpected way. While I think Call of the Cutie won't change much....well "A Butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil..."
Still, I think you have that covered.
Finally, I want to make a special comment to how much I am enjoying your Sunset. Because she never went through her evil phase, you had the opportunity to turn her into anything you wanted. Yet she still snarks, she still has her sarcastic moments, and most importantly, she is a wonderful parental figure to Twilight.
I absolutely LOVED her response in "Ticket Turmoil" and it shows her more caring side to Twilight. With her guidance, Twilight's more Neurotic behaviors will certainly be calmed. "Lesson Zero," for example, almost certainly won't happen.
Overall, the story is going fun places and I can't wait to read more. But don't feel any urge to rush. As you said, taking it slow allows you to plan things out far better then things have been planned in the past.
9404929
Gotta admit I was grinning like an idiot while reading both of your comments.
I can't address... much of what you said without giving stuff away, but Call can be very different. As for the rest... I have actually mentioned Chrysalis before. Pinkie isn't any more intelligent, she just demonstrates it more than she does in canon (Twilight's frequent statements of "Pinkie you're a genius!" Aren't sarcasm, after all. And she demonstrates a high intellect alongside the sugar rush fairly frequently in canon. )
Twilight's withdrawal could have been tracked better as I rushed through it, but it was meant to more be playing the depression angle more faithfully than just "oh she's magically all better now and there will be no repercussions moving forward".
9404952
On the depression angle, having gone through it myself, that's a fair point, and even after its over, your relationships with your friends is never quite the same.
And if Twilight found out about her connection to Trixie at that time, that could have shattered the friendship entirely.
Still I do hope we see more of her old friends. Just as I said, "Feel free to skip things that happenedcin the show if they either wouldn't change at all, OR wouldn't happen in this timeline" also feel free to add in events that didn't happen in the show. If Cadance and Shining Armor don't visit at all till season 3 (as the Mane6's reaction to Twilight having a brother seemed to suggest) Sunset has every right to do some yelling.
The ripple effects are slightly more noticeable here and Sunset's awareness of other cultures dulls the stupidity somewhat. Gilda's only a bitch by pony standards, though.
I find it a bit odd that Sunset, who's been mediating some of this so far, didn't figure something was up.
I also think this part could have used more background. Just like in the show, there's a timeskip before the party and the bit where Rainbow says that the pranks were hers comes out of left field. I think this might have gone better if Dash had claimed the pranks were hers upon discovering Gilda's character. (If so, it's not clear here; in that case, they should have mentioned something about it after Gilda left, perhaps?)
For that matter, setting someone off with a bunch of annoying pranks doesn't seem like a very good way to judge personality (for all that MLP and Parent Trap did it). Maybe if Pinkie told Dash all the things Gilda was seen doing when she thought no-pone was looking? Again, it just seems sudden.