No Time For Sergeants
"It really is a beautiful morning."
"Getting on towards noon. Might be afternoon already."
"No, no, see? The sun isn't that high yet."
"I think we've turned a bit, you're looking at it wrong, captain ma'am."
"No, I've got my bearings. The ship's yawed five points east of southeast."
"If you say so, captain ma'am. I never had any head for these naval matters. I was just as glad when we transferred to landside postings."
"It's simple geometry and calculation, Gilda. Look at that! I think the heather is pinking up?"
"I believe that's redtip, captain ma'am. And those are thickets, not heather."
"Listen to you! They'll make an earth pony of you yet, Gilda."
"Don't get any ideas, captain ma'am. I saw that book on transformations you had on your desk."
"I wouldn't start my experiments with a pony! Or a griffon. I have scruples!"
"Indeed, captain ma'am."
"Anyway, the orange exploded. I clearly was doing something wrong."
"Evidently. Couldn't you have used something less exotic? Oranges cost far too much."
"I prefer apples, anyways."
"They're cheaper, at least."
The two of them looked out into the deep blue spring sky, without a cloud to be seen. The world under them was cantered about fifteen degrees out of true, and above them in the sheets the workers and the crew were fighting with the envelope.
"Wind's turning," Gilda offered after a moment, as the horizon slowly crept back over the port side of the tilted ship.
"And picking up a bit. They're going to have to spread extra sails if they don't get the engine engaged in a few minutes. Drifting uncontrolled isn't a good look for the company's bottom line."
"Or yours, captain ma'am. How deeply did you say you were invested?"
"Had them sell off a third of the funds to buy up what I could of their debts and stock. And I still think I should have gone deeper. The end of the war will cause the funds to sink on Stall Street."
"And the same won't happen for a start-up building warships?"
"This doesn't have to be a warship! It will be sturdy enough for long haul shipping, have sufficient stowage for serious freighter work, and be fast enough to serve as a rich pony's yacht!"
"If they ever get the engine working properly. This is not confidence-building, captain ma'am."
"All new technologies have their teething problems, Gilda."
"We've been drifting for three hours now."
"And time well-spent! I've learned so much watching them work."
"You've been mostly out here staring over the side with me, captain ma'am."
"Well, earth ponies, you know. They were getting defensive about me hovering and looking over their shoulders."
"I don't think the engineers appreciated the 'unicorn perspective'."
"I almost got my mark in magic! I had valid points! And that thaumic coupling just needed the changes I told them they were ignoring. They should have listened!"
"It's designed to be operated by earth ponies, captain ma'am. The whole point of the thaumic conversion engine is that it doesn't need expensive hoof-holding by dedicated unicorn engineers."
"Well, you know us unicorns. Nopony wants to get all dirty and black-faced under the decks."
"Not even unicorns with engineer cutie marks like Cid, captain ma'am?"
"Cid doesn't count, I think he believes he's an earth pony. I mean, have you ever met a unicorn with an engineering cutie mark other than Cid, Gilda?"
"Captain ma'am, you were literally the first pony I met in my life. The unicorns I've met since then have been Cid, officers, or soldiers."
"And Rarity!"
"And Lady Rarity. Could you see her climbing around down there in that filthy mess they're making?"
"She'd look like- like-" Gleaming Shield broke up into giggling laughter, and Gilda allowed herself a smile. The captain had been sullen and strange ever since the former duchess's abdication, and the staffers pestering them about Gleaming's new commission hadn't helped matters. She was like a different pony up here in the sky.
Gilda looked out across the slightly less cockeyed Trottish countryside drifting below them, and grudgingly, silently conceded her unicorn's argument that this had been a better use of their time. This was less soul-destroying than sitting behind a desk in garrison pushing papers and arguing with junior officers about matters that none of them had control over. The section chiefs' chosen method for bullying Gleaming Shield into seeing things their way had been to set their juniors upon them, and Gilda and her captain had ever since then been subject to a sort of siege by subordinate. Harassment by junior officer was, apparently, how things were done at that level.
And so, in order to escape the investing force lurking outside their encampment in the royal apartments, Gleaming Shield jumped at an invitation by Cid Sawhorse to observe the test-launch of the first ship out of the new Trottingham air-yards. Gilda should have known it would be a cluster when none of the other investors or designers had shown up to take advantage of the first cruise of the Duchess Cadance.
Nogriff but Cid and his earth pony and griffon cronies had been there when the bat-hen and her captain arrived at the airship field. The laughter of the watching EUP crews as the new griffon-made ship had crawled slowly into the sky had been another clue. But at least the engine had been working on take-off, however inefficiently. But, an hour later, they lost all headway. The engineers had piled into the engine-room and, not long after, the shouting had started. An hour after that, they'd thrown their opinionated investor out of the engine-room and slammed the door in Gleaming Shield's face.
Gilda, adding up those hours, did the sums in her head, and cursed. "Captain ma'am, it has to be after noon now."
"It certainly is, Gilda."
"We had afternoon meetings."
"With Bureau's herd of yes-mares? Yes, we certainly did."
"We're not going to make those meetings, captain ma'am."
"Such a shame!"
"You didn't want to go."
"I certainly did not. And now I don't have to! I'm stuck on this experimental airship. Unavoidable. So sorry!"
"You can't keep putting them off forever."
"I wanted… one more day." The captain sat there, staring down into the great airy void under their drifting airship.
Little clumps of white here and there on the plains below marked the winter coats of hardy Trottish sheep. Gilda could barely make out the little grey and blue flecks which must have been the griffon shepherds trailing their herds.
"The war's over," Gleaming Shield said after several minutes. "Don't get me wrong, there's still some griffons out there that haven't made their bow, still haven't come in to beg for terms. But they're cold and hungry and starving. It's just a matter of time. Look at that out there!" She waved vaguely at the pristine horizon, unsmirched by the slightest taint of black smoke - well, aside from the thick black clots of smog pouring out of the back of the ship, from the malfunctioning engine.
"You can't see the burned-out districts from here, captain ma'am. Also, that's Haymarket in that direction. They're all ponies on that side of the island."
"You know what I mean! The Dragoons aren't even burning anything anymore."
"There isn't really anything left to burn, captain ma'am."
"Zippo Raid must be so disappointed. No more worlds to burn."
Gilda couldn't help it. She snickered.
And then Gleaming Shield's stone face cracked, and the pony snorted.
And then they both laughed and laughed.
"Stop it! St-stop it! It isn't funny, Gilda! Zippo's a madpony! And those were atrocities! We should- sho- hahahaha!"
"Better huts than griffons, captain ma'am. And those dweebs tormented Trottingham for a decade. And before that - the clangriffons were a bunch of assholes. They got what they deserved, the lot of them. It's just too bad that Colonel Pie isn't around to throw them their surrender parties."
"Oh, yeah. I saw the note. Sent back to Equestria?"
"So they claimed. You notice that Flagg Staff hasn't been around since they shipped the colonel home to the funny farm?"
"You have no proof that he had anything to do with it, Gilda."
"You used to think he was a figment of my imagination, captain ma'am."
"Not everything is a conspiracy orchestrated by secret agents of the Peytral!"
"No, some things are plots by piratical madponies."
Gleaming Shield's eyes lit up at Gilda's successful change of topic. "Cadance and the Sisters say that Princess Celestia used to have a student named Sunset Shimmer," she confided in a tone just low enough to be drowned out by the laboring engine for any eavesdroppers who might be listening to their conversation.
"Really? How have they kept that out of the papers?" Gilda asked in that same soft tone. "She even named her ship after the princess."
"Nopony knew the name of the mystery ship or her mistress until the raid on Gould's Jetty," Gleaming continued in a loud whisper. "Anyways, Princess Celestia keeps her students out of the Equestrian newspapers. You never read about Moondancer, right? The local censors must be leaning on the Trottish papers."
"The censors didn't keep the damn Beak and Bone from calling me a bloody 'Royal bat-hen'," Gilda snapped, abandoning the confidential whispering. "Repeatedly! In print!"
"They didn't name you at all, Gilda. That's how they get around the censors."
"It's libel!"
"That's what they used to call the papers, you know. 'The libels'."
"I've read the same book you have, captain ma'am."
"Well, it was just sitting there on the shelf."
"Why don't they pester you?" Gilda demanded, too exasperated to maintain her usual civility.
"I'm not the one who was waving around her sword beside Cadance and being all dramatic in front of a crowd. You're a spectacle, Gilda. Get used to it, if you're going to act up in public."
"I'm not the duchess's military advisor. They should be stalking you."
"Then you're doing your job by distracting them from harassing me, so - good job, Corporal!"
Still agitated, Gilda glared down at a busy road as they drifted overhead, tiny figures in the distance hauling carts here and there. The wind was pushing the ship back towards the city.
"Did I ever tell you that I volunteered for the Territorials?" Gleaming Shield asked, out of nowhere.
Gilda looked back up at her captain, feeling a bit more composed. "No, ma'am, but someone must have mentioned it, because I was aware that this was true."
"I had my pick of posts. Top of my class. Not bragging, just the plain truth. Might have been top of the Princess's School if I'd chosen to go there, too. I didn't choose."
Gilda grunted, not sure where her captain was going with this.
"I wanted- I don't remember what I wanted now. I needed to prove something, to myself, to my family, to the world. Did I ever tell you about my brother?"
"No, captain ma'am, but people talk. I've gotten the gist." More than once. And she'd never, ever wanted to talk with her unicorn about that martyred, sainted brother of hers. Gilda knew it was treacherous ground.
"Shining really was something. In time, he would have been a general, or the Princess's Captain of the Guard. The real Guard, the Royal Guard. He… his name suited him. He shone."
The unicorn tried to stare at the sun, but, blinking, turned her dazzled eyes towards Gilda instead.
"I was very, very angry for a long time after Shining died. And I blamed you. The griffons, I mean. I wanted to see the war at the cutting edge. I wanted the - I think I wanted blood, heavens help me. Carve out the vengeance myself, personally. And so… the battalion. The ranks full of Celestia-be-damned griffons, and we'd be… griffons killing griffons. It seemed right. Proper. No matter what happened, if we won, if we lost - justice being done. In retrospect, it's amazing things didn't go very, very badly. I would have deserved it, even if you all wouldn't have.
"Because I'd have spent you all like water. But I don't know if they knew it, or it was just an accident, but they kept the Fifth away from the front lines, from the real killing work. And - nopony keeps up a killing hatred patrolling a hundred nautical miles of empty ocean."
"And then you pulled me out of that water," Gilda said. She wasn't sure what else she could have said to her captain's strange not-precisely-a-confession. It was none of it a surprise to her - only that the captain had finally spoken of it. "You did well enough in the battalion. After a while. And by the time we got to Trottingham, you hardly even bothered to glare. But we haven't seen the battalion in weeks, captain ma'am."
"More like months," Gleaming Shield laughed.
"What I mean is, captain ma'am, we've not been working with the battalion for a while now."
"That point has been made to me. Repeatedly. Which is why we're up here, in the air, Gilda. Because the moment my hoof touches the earth again, I'm going to have to sign the papers and acknowledge that my time in the Territorials is over. The paperwork was sitting on your desk when we left this morning."
"What does that mean?" Gilda asked, uncertain, starting to feel a strange sort of bubbling anxiety under her uniform. They weren't wearing their armor today. Just undress, and nothing else. It was a bit chilly up here, the warm spring sun warring with the strengthening breeze.
"They're removing me from the battalion rolls. No Guards officers seconded to foreign regiments, and that's final."
"Does that mean that- an Equestrian Guards officer can't have a bat-hen from a foreign regiment, either."
"Funniest damn thing, Gilda. I looked at the working rolls, and you weren't on them. Did you never notice that you weren't drawing pay?"
"What?" Gilda squawked. "I- what? WHAT? That bastard Grippe said they were garnishing my wages because of the whole prisoner-of-war thing!"
"Well, apparently, Grippe is in the hooves of the MPs. Nopony noticed she was grifting her way through the job. You were one of about thirty imaginary griffons on the official, doctored rolls."
"I'm not imaginary!"
"But you were on fraudulent rolls. And never actually drew pay. Corporal Grippe was pocketing your portion, along with all those others. She'll be transported for sure."
"Well, damn. Ain't that a kick in the beak? So I was never-"
"Never actually a trooper in the Territorials, no. Technically you've been a prisoner of war for over a year now."
"Over a- has it been that long?"
"Yep. Fished you out of the drink a year ago last Tuesday."
"I was promoted! Twice!"
"That's something nopony wants to admit happened. You're now an official embarrassment. Technically, I think that makes you a civilian, Gilda."
"Uh. OK. What does… what does that mean? Do they put me into one of the internment camps, or onto a ship for the territories?"
"Gilda, you've been my bat-hen for almost a year. Barely anypony even remembers you were captured trying to sneak into the duchy. You're not getting transported. It's just… we have to make our working relationship - we have to settle matters. Set it on a regular basis."
Gilda looked down at the freshly turned fields outside of the city walls, and the little colored dots that must have been earth ponies preparing the soil for the year's plantings.
"What do you have in mind, ma'am?" Gilda finally asked.
"Gilda, I just told you you're a free hen. You can call me by my name, you know."
"I… don't think I can… captain ma'am. I'm not that fledgeling you pulled out of the sea last year." Looking into the distance, across the slate-grey city, Gilda could barely glimpse the blue sparkle of the harbor's waters glittering in the distance.
"And I certainly am not that angry, bigoted ensign who pulled you out of the sea, either."
The unicorn pulled a sheath of paper out of one of her saddlebags. "I've got a form here. A whole ream of forms, actually. Apparently when you draw enlistment papers from supply, they only give you the whole packet. Not sure what I'll do with the rest of them."
Gilda took the enlistment packet from Gleaming Shield's horn-glow. The top form had been filled out with Gilda's information, and details. She hadn't realized that the captain had been listening the one time Gilda had let slip her mother's name. There it was, filled out for 'next of kin'.
And at the top of the form, the regiment blank had been filled in Gleaming Shield's fussily precise horn-writing, Sixth Guards Regiment, First Battalion. As well as the intaking rank.
"You see, I want to make something of the Crystal Guard. It's an imaginary unit. A nonsense-unit. The echo of some mythical empire that nopony other than Princess Celestia remembers as anything other than a cautionary tale about tyrants and power. But now, after all of these centuries… there's me. I'm not a regiment by myself. An officer by herself is just an opinionated, armed lunatic. It takes a sergeant to make an officer."
Gilda looked up at her unicorn. "I didn't think that you could enlist as a sergeant, captain ma'am. Shouldn't I be a private or a ranker or a legionary or something like that?"
"If an officer without a sergeant is a lunatic, then a soldier without a sergeant is a thug. The reason that the Griffish Territorials work so well is because of their corporals, Gilda. The best that the Trottish griffons have to offer, forced to work as NCOs. The Territorials may very well have the best corporals in the world."
"They have to, captain ma'am, because they were never allowed sergeants. We had to pick up the slack. But the Crystal Guard is supposed to be a pony regiment, isn't it?"
"Says who? It's an EUP regiment, but associated on the books with a nonexistent sovereign state that I can't even get a straight answer from anypony about whether the Crystal Empire ever was part of Equestria. If I'm the first and only officer in the regiment, I think I get to say what exactly the Crystal Guard will be. And I say… the regiment will take griffons. And ponies. And hippogriffs and Abyssinians and anything else we can lure to the colors.
"But I can't do it alone. Right now, I'm an armed lunatic with a signed and sealed paper saying I'm an officer. I won't actually be an officer until I have a sergeant."
"I was never a sergeant, captain ma'am. I was - there is no such rank as 'sergeant' in the Territorials."
"If you sign that, neither of us will be in the Territorial Corps, Gilda. This isn't the Territorials anymore. The war's over. Isn't it time to move on?"
Gilda sniffed, and then forced her features into the appropriately fierce, greedy grimace that the occasion warranted.
"I'm going to expect a full year's back-pay, captain ma'am. The Territorials might have been a corrupted, disreputable colonial embarrassment, but if the Sixth Guards are to be an honorable, upright regiment with a tradition of honesty and probity, then they bloody well will pay their griffons their back-wages!"
"At sergeant's wages, Gilda, I promise," Gleaming Shield said.
Gilda quickly, messily signed the form, tore it off of the fresh pad of forms, and threw it at her unicorn.
The captain grabbed it in her horn-glow, and gently handed it back to Gilda.
"Sergeant, I need you to file this form. We'll open a file for recruits when we get back. And look! We're coming to a stop. I guess they figured out how to land this drifting boondoggle."
The engineers and the crew eventually grounded the ship; it landed in the middle of Gilbert Square, with half the city crowding around to marvel at the spectacle.
Gilda convinced Gleaming Shield to cast the crystal-glamour-uniform spell on her newly-minted sergeant, and then on herself. The sparkling sergeant marched flashily about, booming broadly to the fascinated crowd of young griffons and ponies who milled around the stylish, sleek air-ship. Gilda told them bombastic breezie-tales of the glories of the service, the honor of the Guard, and the splendors of the soldier's life. She promised them adventure, excitement, and wonder. She promised them the world.
She lied shamelessly.
Gleaming Shield just stood there, letting Gilda do all the talking. The Guards captain glittered in the sun, looked impressive, talked up the prospects of the shipworks' new vessel, and took the occasional filled-out enlistment form.
They had a dozen recruits by nightfall. A third of the recruits were adventurous ponies from the other side of the city, slumming it in the blue zone, some of them for the first time in their lives. The rest of them were griffons eager to escape the griffish slums and see the world under a crystal banner.
Sergeant Gilda made a note to talk to Rarity about having a crystal banner made. Then she made a note about making up a regimental budget. And where they'd get their funding from - the captain was personally wealthy, and could afford Gilda's wages easily. But an entire platoon's worth of wages? Or more?
The list will only keep growing, Gilda thought, looking at her captain as Gleaming Shield pointed out some technical detail on the grounded airship to one of the enthusiastic recruits.
It was a good thing her unicorn loved lists.
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To be perfectly honest, I'm not terribly surprised by that. That just seems like it fits Gilda's luck perfectly.
It's sort of weird, after all these chapters of her being so tight-lipped and brooding about her private thoughts, to see Twilight finally open up and be frank about it at last. But that being said...that's much more like the Twilight we know and love.
A rather uneventful way to draw the tale, or at least this volume of it, to a close, but I approve nonetheless. It seems sort of fitting, all things considered.
Anyway, looking forward to any sort of continuations that may come some day, hopefully soon.
good story, why do I have feeling pinkie pie or rainbow dash will some how get into the crystal guard if this story get a part 2
I can't wait for the sequel!
Very good story.
The Ending was a bit abrupt though . .
Must be very awkward given the whole "princess-adjacent spectacle" thing. Not exactly something you can sweep under the rug. Not easily, anyway.
In any case, definitely looking forward to more. There's a turul to crown, back wages to cajole, a military bureaucracy to spite, and that's just the issues we know about! It may suck to be a Pinkie in this worldline, but Gleaming and Gilda have a lot to offer yet. Thank you for a magnificent first installment.
And when she goes to Equestria,
To Celestia she will tell:
Another griffin reporting, Ma’am;
I've served my time in hell.
This line is perfect and says all it needs to say about Gilda and Twily. Great job!
It's over? Wow. I could have read another thirty chapter of this and not get tired of it. What a great ride this was.
But I am glad you say there is a possible sequel in the work. This little universe is too well built, so much potential and a looooooot of loose threads. The building of the regiment (who and what they manage to recruit) , Pirate Sunset Shimmer, Lady George, Duchess Cadence new kingdom to rule, Blueblood shifty attitude (he was definitely planning something), who was giving gonnes to the rebels, where are the rest of the Mane 6, what will happen to Pinkie and the rest of the Pie clan, Cad Moon Dancer and all the future threat of Canon that are coming soon: Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis (you by canon, is already out of her prison plotting Equestria downfall), Sombra, Discord, The Storm King, Starlight, the Dragon Lord competition (minor point of divergence but what would happen if it's not not Ember who becomes the Dragon Lord?).
The butterfly effects is strong in this universe. It's pratically a hurricane. I am so pumped at the ideas of what come next.
But if you are not working on the continuation right away, what is going to be your next project?
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Hard to say. I've got debts outstanding on my incompletes shelf, although that'll take a lot of spin-up to get out of the points where I let them lay; there's generally a reason why I shifted over to other projects.
I've been thinking of releasing one stalled project's first chapter as a one-shot w/ the completed commissioned art; it works well enough as a character piece, that I could put it out there without the eventual family drama/murder mystery I had planned for it to serve as a prologue. (Sort of sequel to Twilight In Plain Sight)
It'd be too damn easy to swing immediately into the sequel for this, but I need to commission some new cover art, and plan out the initial arc or two a bit more coherently than the current shame on you! no spoilers! But I have a chapter featuring Lyra which was cut out of GTG because it was definitely part of the next thing.
The longer-form sequel to In The Company Of Night got repurposed for that one-shot Wicker Princesses, at least in part....
I've just realized this reads like the prequel to a trilogy involving those two, explaining how they became what they are. Preferably a trilogy involving romance, but that's because I'm a dirty, dirty shipper
I want to read about the return of the Crystal Empire and their efforts to save it from sombra. About the return of Nightmare Moon and how the Crystal Guard were the ones to save equestria. About how the first Sargent to Twilight "Gleaming Shield" Sparkle had to leave the guard to become the griffon empress... and then marry her captain, BECAUSE I WANT SOME ROMANCE DAMMIT!!!
But I want to read all that after you finish Those Who Ride, because damn I want to read how that continues!!
Oh wow I was not ready for this to end! I mean, you finished an arc I guess but there is so much more going on in this world!
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If you remember some of the passing thoughts gilda had in previous chapters, I think you might see that gilda totally ships it too, even if she might not admit it openly, even to herself.
Love this programme!
Thus ends an amazing fic that makes me think so much of Napoleonic era.
So... a possible sequel.
It seems that said new regiment, or battalion, or whatever you might call it could be under financial difficulties... depending on how deep Twilight's pockets run. But is she rich enough, well, who knows what could happen... And forgive me for this.
Twilight is no idiot.
But she might be a Phule.
It was a fun read. Don't know why it's not more popular.
Very nice; well done, on the ending and the whole story. :)
One of my personal favourite genres is Alternate History. This allows us to explore society and famous historical people, seeing how they have changed due to the point of departure. This story was no disappointment. I loved seeing how the new world works along with its backstory. I loved seeing how the characters we've grown so familiar with have changed into completely different people. I loved watching these characters struggle and overcome their problems. I loved this story.
Great job, and thumbs up.
Its a work in progress.
So very apt a description to everything with these two.
And its all the more beautiful for it. They are friends, foes, and rogues all together. And it works. It shines, and its a sad thing this chapter has come to and end.
Thank you for its writing.
Sequel? Moar of this universe?!
allmystery.de/static/upics/34713d_Screenshot_2014-03-08-04-39-28.png
Great work! This does indeed seem like a prequel to a set of recurring characters. I look forward to their many well organized misadventures big and small.
So, Pinkie was either shipped off to the territories (off the record), or she got away with everything she pulled.
And Gilda is now a paid sergeant in the Guard. (Gilda will have money, what ever will she do with it?)
Despite my gripes, this was a great story, and I look forward to the possibility of more.
On a (begging) side note, Please, Mitch H, might we have more Trixie and the Beast, sir?
A great ending. Makes me think that this Celestia plans to put Twilight in charge of the Crystal Empire someday.
I could feel the arc tying itself up with some of the last chapter, and with hindsight, I can see SS being part of the next story, but man, this story flowed so fast, its hard to think we've finished. Been a long time since Gilda was arrested on her way from debts and it makes me wonder just how the villains of the series (if that is an intention) may just play a part in the future given how we've now cut off of Equestria, at least 1 of the EoH is currently insane, 2 are friends, and at least 2 are half way across the the continent.
I wonder what happened to all the griphons the pirates siezed.
I realized that Gleaming and Gilda are lucky that their first few recruitment drive is happening now, with the end of the war, many who don't want to leave the military life will apply. It will be the occasion to snatch many with various field of experience blooded veteran.
Absolutely incredible read from start to finish. I’m very excited to see where the next installment will take these two. Keep up the great work
Oh this oughtta be good.
Next installment!
Crazy to see this is over. That was a ride the whole time, was watching since the first few chapters, was hooked and was eagerly awaiting each be chapter after work. I'll definitely end up re-reading this from time to time, and I'm excited to see how this is continued.
I just recently re-read some of my favorite Diskworld novels and the Guards novels made me think of this story. Especially Night watch for the rebellion of the Griffons, Monstrous Regiment for Gilda joining tje ranks and not really knowing what she is getting in for but at the end she decides to stay in the army and finally Jingo because... war or the reasons to not start one.
I am now hopping that Twilight get a colorful staffs like Vime. As multicultural and multiracial it can get. Is it too much to hope she get somebody like Detritus?
This was an incredible story - everything fit well together, and even with all the chaos
TwilightGleaming Shield pulled through with her trusty griffon Gilda.I absolutely loved this! I would never imagined Gilda and Twilight as a comedy team, but you make it work like mad!
And Pinkie... holy carp, Pinkie. Terrifying, but fits in perfectly... her last little break-down just made me shake my fist at the multiverse in rage.
Actually loved all the things you did with the canon characters... well, "loved" might be inaccurate... "thoroughly enjoyed while cringing" might work better. Also the extrapolation of spells from the show was very impressive. I can see how Celestia might be more impressive on paper than in person!
Looking forward to any continuation of this world you might write!
Took me a while to finally read the last chapters, but I gotta say, this is one of the most interesting AU I've seen in a while. The setting and the characters are both so good, I'd definitely instantly fav any sequel you'd make. Both Twilight and Gilda grew so much, I wonder how they'll do with all the Crystal Empire stuff.
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I gotta say, when the captain asked Gilda to call her by name, I was sort of expecting her to ask "what name should I call you by?" But I guess they weren't ready for that.
(Yeah, I just finished. When I'm even procrastinating on the stuff I love, that's when I know I've got priority issues.)
@Mitch H
How big is Gilda? I mean size wise as during the story she and other keep pointing out that she is big. At the end she remarks that Cadenze is smaller. That would be a (very) big griffin.
And second question: Why is she geting so big?
9711094
In canon, Gilda is a fairly big catbird. This is AU, though, and we first meet her when she's younger and perhaps a bit malnourished. But she has good genes, being a descendant of Grover and all, and the service feeds better than being Griffonstone gutter trash.
I don't think Gilda is physically bigger than Cadance, although these things can be relative in the heat of the moment. You may have noticed, but even in canon, Equestrian is rather Sumerian, in the sense that with great power comes increased stature. Literally. Celestia as Tallest Horse.
What a story!
I liked the breezy tone and pacing of the story - it was a constant stream of vignettes that coalesced into something much greater than what I had expected. I loved the way you mixed the humorous style with situations and events that were poetic and somber and touching, which seemed to make the poignant moments all the more impactful. I also want to highlight the way you carved out unique and interesting identities for the various factions such as Trottingham slang or the bureaucracy of military rankings of the EUP and Territorials. It all made for a delightful, fun tale, despite the background being a war in an occupied territory rife with scarily well-equipped insurrectionists. Like, I feel as though this story could have been The Hurt Locker: The Ponyfic under a different retelling (though I suppose Gilda was showing signs of the combat stress getting to her near the end).
Well, anyways, it was really wonderful seeing Gilda grow throughout this story, and especially seeing her relationship with Gleaming Shield developing from its rocky start. I hope to see more of this continuity in the future. Thanks for the fantastic read!
9728896
You're welcome, and thanks for reading.
Absolutely spectacular. I look forward to more in this universe, and will definitely need to check out your other stories.
So, working on a sequel yet?
9822595
Trying. Was just finalizing some cover art with Chris the Blue. Instead of writing.
i originally kept skipping this story every time it showed up in the feature box, on account of gilda. i usually don't care for one shot characters and the image was giving me a soviet vibe. if it wasn't for Sunsets isekai i don't think i'd have given it a chance.
i'm ashamed to say i was depriving myself of a fantastic read that sometimes got very confusing with descriptions of uniforms, who was talking, who was being talked to, and names that came and went.
sad that:
there wasn't very much fighting
gilda's PTSD of flamethrowers kinda disappeared, but understood. it wouldn't be very fun to have kept re-reading a show stopping experience.
no build up to the plat sisters ability
the whole roc thing that went nowhere for decorative feathers
the whole carriage carjacking scheme. did you intend to use one of the mane six for that?
i absolutely loved your pinkie, the portrayal of foreign catbird enlisted, and the day by day of garrison life. you were able to firmly plant my perspective of how life was lived in trottingham by someone who was just a cog in the machine just trying to do what was tasked and not get more work. the no pay for a year was the cherry on top.
i had to pause and think of how many times this has been done to me IRL.
So...this was an excellent story and all but...why are griffons called "bat-hens"? They're not bats. Why not "cat-hen"?
9883947
A bat-hen is a job, not a gender, although it is gendered. See, in the real world, the bodyservant of an officer in the British Army is called a 'batman'. It used to be the term in the American Army as well, until people started reading Good Soldier Švejk - who in the service was a batman, and in his prior civilian career, a part-time thief of stray dogs - after which, American troops started calling them 'dogrobbers'. Then everybody realized the whole institution was massively elitist and unAmerican, and they stopped giving officers servants like our hen Gilda.
9883994
Wow, all of that went completely over my head. I kinda guessed based off the accents that there were some English-equivalents, but didn't realize anything like this existed irl.
9884006
I should note that batmen are no longer in existence in the British Army outside of the Household Division. Which is, I gather, still a refuge of aristocratic privilege, bless their pommy hearts.
The sequel to this is honestly what made me curious to the story, and jeepers, am I glad I got to this for a read. AUs are always fun and the way this was written out just astounds me. From the moment Shield pulls Gilda out I was hooked. The growth of Gilda and Twilight was splendid, and while there was some stuff that flew over my head completely in dialogue must say all the characters in this were a interesting read.
Can bet I will be reading the sequel. Job well done!
9712149
I think Gilda is about Twilicorn (pre-end of series) sized, honestly? She was what, about a head taller than Fluttershy in Griffon the Brush-Off? Twilight's model slowly changed over time after she ascended. Thinning out of the stomach, longer horn, longer legs. Bit by bit.
9883994
Seems kind of ironic since a large number of the founders of this country were ex-English (or if you prefer, British) and got a lot of mileage out of trying to differentiate themselves. Also up and replaced that aristocratic privilege with corporate privilege...
9927148
Friendship is Magic, not the other way around. I severely doubt Moondancer would be able to create the bonds necessary with ponies that can wield the elements.
Hell, it has nothing to do with the tribe. An Earth pony could wield Magic as long as they could be the proper Nexus of friendship.
9949536
Not sure why this and your other reply didn't show up in my notifications, but I appreciate you taking the time to explain things! I really enjoyed the worldbuilding and character interactions, and I'm looking forward to catching up with the sequel. I'll probably end up re-reading this to see if I can better keep track of all the characters and events and to see if stopping to look things up will result in a better appreciation for what Gilda is going through, since military shenanigans are quite foreign to me.