• Published 11th Oct 2018
  • 3,368 Views, 44 Comments

Adagio From State Farm - TheNewYorkBrony

Adagio, with the help of human Twilight, tries to lose her sexy voice so that she can hold a job.

  • ...

Chapter 1

Adagio Dazzle returned from her normal lunch break at the call center she recently started working at to find her desk empty.

Confused, she walked over to her manager’s office and knocked on the door, noticing the box of her things that were currently on his desk. “Is there a reason why my things are all packed up?”

Glass Ceiling swiveled around in his chair to face Adagio, a stern yet apologetic look on his face. “Erm, have a seat, Miss Dazzle,” he said, gesturing towards the genuine leather seat in front of him.

“Sure,” Adagio responded, striding over to the chair and gently sitting down in it. “What exactly seems to be the issue, sir?”

“There have been, ahem, multiple concerns about you, Miss Dazzle,” The much older man stated, clearing his throat.

“Complaints,” Adagio said, rather flatly. “No need to sugar coat it.”

“Complaints is a very strong word,” Glass Ceiling responded nervously, his hands wringing in worry. “I’d say it was more of a few suggestions on your employment.”

“So basically,” Adagio said casually, leaning back in the chair, “I’m being fired because someone—or some persons—since you said there was multiple—complained about me and now I’m being fired.” she frowned, crossing her legs. “Did they even say what I did wrong?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Glass Ceiling couldn’t quite exactly look Adagio in the eye. “W-Well, yes, but it wasn’t something you did,” he answered her, voice trembling.

Adagio’s eyebrows knitted. “Well if I didn’t do anything, why am I being terminated?”

“It’s your uh, manner of speaking,” he responded. “Your voice doesn’t exactly...fit the image of the company.”

“Excuse me?” Adagio was considerably taken aback by his comment. “What does that mean?” she stood up and slammed her hands on the desk, unintentionally making her chest jiggle.

“Er, um,” He started, sweating visibly now. “You voice sounds like it’s more suited for...other, fields of work.”

“Other fields of...” The pieces seemed to fall in to place in Adagio’s mind, and then she finally got it. “You're firing me because I sound sexy over the phone and you're losing customers for it.”

“Miss Dazzle I’m sorry, but it wasn’t my decision.” Glass Ceiling said, refusing to look the woman across from him in the eye.

“No, it’s, okay,” Adagio responded, rolling her shoulders. “It’s not like it’s the first time it’s happened.” without another word she walked out of his office, collected the box of her things from her old desk, and left the building without looking back.

“Fired? Again?” Sonata asked, chewing on the straw to her juice box while kicking her feet as she sat on the arm of the couch. “Isn’t that like, the third time this month?”

“More like fourth,” Aria mumbled. “But who’s counting,” she grinned at the poofy haired girl in front of her who frowned. “Maybe you should just find a job where you like, don’t talk.”

Adagio, who was currently pouting, looked up at her fellow siren sisters. “Why? What’s wrong with my voice? I know it veers on the more...velvety side but that doesn’t mean I can’t do my job.”

“The fact that you got fired again today kind of does,” Aria responded, rolling her eyes. “You constantly sound like you’re about to orgasm.”

Adagio was appalled. “Wha—I do not sou—”

Aria held up a hand. “I’m going to stop you, right there. Because yes, yes you do.” Aria could count on more than one hand the occasions that came to mind specifically.

Sonata nodded, agreeing with the girl in front of her. “You really do, Dagi. Sometimes when you yawn, I can’t tell if it's you or if one of our neighbours is watching porn. We have really thin walls by the way,” she shuddered visibly before continuing to drink her juice box.

“Is it...really that bad?” Adagio looked crestfallen, her frown from earlier deepened. “I can’t really do anything about it, it’s how I talk.”

“You could like, go out and see how people who don’t sound like they belong in porn talk,” Aria suggested grinning. “Or you know, just do what your voice is for.”

Adagio frowned at her.

“I heard there was a job opening at the mall at Beefy Burger,” Sonata said, twirling her hair. “Maybe you could get a job there! It’s kind of icky, and greasy, but at least you won't have to talk to anyone! And if anyone asks, just tell them you’re on mute!”

“How is she going to take people’s orders if she can’t speak, idiot?” Aria asked, rolling her eyes. “She needs a job that involves no talking at all. Basically where she’s invisible in every sense of the word.”

“How about I just, go to the mall and scout for a job myself?” Adagio offered getting up. She was quite frankly tired of all the insults her siren sisters had been throwing her way. “Thanks for the suggestions but, I think I can handle this on my own, girls.”

Aria’s eyebrow quirked. “Can you?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I can,” Adagio asserted, pushing past her. “Watch and learn, ladies. When I come back tonight, I’m going to have a whole new job.” she slammed the door behind her as she left.

Aria and Sonata stared perplexed at the door, then shrugged.

“Fifty bucks says she has a mental break down halfway through.” Aria offered.

Sonata grinned. “You’re on!”

The mall wasn’t exactly a place Adagio frequented, she usually shopped for her clothes online or at high end stores that were nowhere near the Canterlot City Mall. It seemed a lot more...cleaner than she imagined, though the melding smell of candles from a nearby store and the smell of pizza from the food court left more to be desired.

She walked for a while, then stopped at a smoothie place in the food court. A blonde girl who had her back turned to her was manning the blenders behind the counter. Adagio figured that a job like this didn’t require much talking to, especially if she volunteered just to chop the fruits and vegetables and blend everything. How hard could that be?

Adagio was about to walk up to the counter just as the blonde turned around, and she stopped dead in her tracks. “Argh!” she mumbled under her breath, walking angrily past the smoothie spot. The blonde girl had been one of those damned children that stole her magic away! She couldn’t work with her!

She spotted a sneaker store, but quickly walked past it once she saw that yet another Rainboom had thwarted her chance at employment. This time the rainbow haired one.

Did every single last one of them work at this mall? What were the odds that her mortal enemies all worked in the same confined space?

Frowning, Adagio held her head high. She wasn’t about to be driven out by a bunch of children. She may not have her powers anymore, but she was still much older, much stronger, and much wiser.
Beside the sneaker store was a tech store that seemed to be Rainbrat free. Stepping inside, she was welcomed with the smell of printing paper and plastic. Behind the counter sat a young girl who couldn’t have been older than any of the Rainbrats.

Her head was down in some textbook, and she didn’t hear when Adagio approached the counter until the former siren had coughed loudly.

“Oh!” the girl said sheepishly, quickly shoving the book under the counter. “Today is a little slow, so I decided to study for an upcoming test! Can’t be too prepared, I always say!” She giggle snorted, and then cleared her throat, clearly embarrassed by the sound. Looking into Adagio’s eyes, she smiled. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

This girl....Her voice...It was extremely bland, but absolutely adorable and endearing! Adagio had heard such a cute and boring voice before! But she couldn’t quite place it. It was on the tip of her tongue...but she let it go. She’d figure it out eventually.

“You, girl,” Adagio started informally. “Is this establishment hiring? I’m in need of a job,” She rested her head on her arm lazily, staring back into the young woman’s eyes.

Seemingly taken aback by the straightforward question, the girl’s eyebrows furrowed, and she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing but incoherent sounds came out. “Uh, well—I think?”

Adagio raised an eyebrow at her incompetence. Endearing, but incredibly annoying. She needed to speak to someone who knew what they were doing. “Is there a manager I can speak to? Someone who’s in charge?” she asked, looking behind the girl to see if there was anyone in the storage room behind her about to come out on cue.

Awkwardly reaching her hand across the counter, the young girl gave the former siren a small, timid smile. “Um, that would be me. I’m the manager. My name’s Twilight. Twilight Sparkle.”

And then it hit Adagio like a speeding train. She knew why the voice sounded so familiar now. She stared at the purple hand extended to her in awe and confusion. As if her luck couldn’t get any worse.

She’s run into the human counterpart of her worst enemy.

Author's Note:

Trying my hand at a multi chapter story again. This time with an unlikely pair. Don't worry its not a ship fic. At least, I don't think it is. But we'll see where this goes. Thanks to my friends on discord, who encouraged me to write out this funny little idea I had.

Anyway, don't forget to please support me on patreon and or ko-fi! im in a bit of a pickle dental wise and i need a procedure done that my insurance wont cover. you get tons of perks on patreon and you get to help me create my next story! I also have a discord server if anyone wants to join! https://discord.gg/nnqePF anyway, I'll see you guys later. And don't be afraid to tell me what you think!