• Published 1st Aug 2012
  • 2,354 Views, 49 Comments

The Equestrian Royal Guard - Elusive Phoenix



The Equestrian Royal Guard does more than just stand at doors. There is a war outside Equestria.

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Monday- 1 day until Day: 1

1 day until Day: 1


I hefted my suitcase and flew out of my cloud home, heading off to Canterlot. I was sad to be leaving Ponyville, but was excited to start training and save somepony’s day!

As I reached the Barracks, I hovered above and looked for building sixteen. I caught it out of the corner of my eye, and flew down to it. As I landed, the door to the building opened, revealing an unarmored guard with a stone grey coat and a black, spikey, mane in the same style The Doctor had.

“Oh,” He said when he saw me in front of the door, “You must be the new recruit!”

“Well, yeah!” I smiled at him, and he smiled back. There was a ten second pause before I said,

“Are you not surprised I’m a mare?”

“Of course I am! But nothing gained by b****ing about it!”

“I’m liking that plan! So, this is my ‘new home’?”

“Sure is! I’ll give you a quick tour!” He stepped back into the building, and I followed. He pointed around the room, “This is your new room!” In the room were nine beds lining the walls, and five lockers on either side of the front and back doors, whichever one was which, “There’s only one bunk untouched, so I guess you’ll get that one.” He pointed toward a bed across the room, “This locker,” he patted the locker to his right, “is yours. You can put your stuff in here now if you want.” He opened it, and I stuffed my case inside. “Well,” he said, “it was nice meeting you! I’ll see you every night and morning miss…?”

“Rainbow Dash.”

“Terrain Shiner.” He extended his hoof to me.

“Really?” I asked, “You’re Terrain Shiner?”

“Why? You heard of me?”

“Is your sister Fluttershy?” He recoiled in shock.

“You know Fluttershy?”

“Yeah! She’s one of my friends and asked me to see if I could find out what happened to you. Well, I found you, so quest complete!” He smiled.

“She’s been looking for me? I’ve been looking for her since we were separated.”

“What happened?”

“I was kidnapped and taken to the Gryphon kingdoms to be a slave.” I gasped. “I escaped, but the stallion who helped me surely died. He showed me that some things can be fixed. That is why we’re in this war. To stop the Gryphons from making the Equestrian paradise into a slavery hell.” A loud bell rang. “I have to go. It’s my shift until nine, so I’ll see you tonight.”

“I plan on it!” He trotted out the door, leaving me alone in the room. I examined the rest of the room. Blank walls, rounded roof, a desk in the corner. Nothing else, really. ‘This is even worse than my house.’ I headed to my bed. The mattress didn’t even look like a mattress. It looked more like a rock. I sat down on it. It FELT like a rock. I tested the pillow. Felt like a pillow. Just less… fluffy… After that, I left the building. Outside was bustling with guards heading to their stations, some in armor, some not.

I noticed that all of the guards in armor were white or grey, and all of the unarmored ones were multicolored. ‘There must be some sort of enchantment.’ All Earth ponies and Pegasi were white, and all unicorns were grey.

I took off into the sky, and hovered, then examined the area.

To my right was about fifty or sixty more small barracks, and to my left was a field of obstacle courses, bow range, gyms, and tracks. In the sky were a few rings of cloud, built for Pegasus agility tests. I watched as a few Pegasi, dawned in armor, flew through the courses, and unicorns fired arrows at targets and dummies. A few Earth ponies did obstacle courses on the ground, jumping over hurdles, ducking under barbed wire, and bucking dummies. Some Pegasi were doing wing push ups, and some were dropping rocks on dummies.

‘They must have a lot of dummies.’

I hovered for a few minutes just watching, examining my future in training. There was going to be a long road ahead. And I had to travel that road, no rests. I had to feel pain and suffering before I went to Hell…



A few hours later, I sat on my new, rock hard, bed and read Daring Doo and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone.

Terrain Shiner entered the room, followed by about eight or so muscular guards stripped of armor. One had a scar down his eye, and another was limping slightly.

‘I hope they don’t all sound like Mr. Squeaky.’ I chuckled and trotted toward him.

“What’s so funny?” Terrain asked.

“Nothing.” I said still smiling.

“Right. Anyway, meet your roommates! This is Jade Groove!” He pointed to a maroon colored Earth pony with a dark green mane, same style as mine. He wore a hat similar to Applejack’s.

“Well,” He said with an accent the same as Apple family’s, but his voice was soft, above a whisper, but not normal talking level, “It’s nice to meet you miss… Dash is it?”

“Yes, and the same to you, Jade!”

Jade walked to the other side of the building and lay down.

“This is Oddball.” Terrain pointed to a yellow unicorn with a brown mane which made a zigzag shape, “He’s mute, but he uses telepathy, so don’t be freaked out if you hear a voice in your head.”

“I had a friend who specialized in magic, so I’m used to weird magical things!”

‘Good!’ I freaked out, ‘Sorry. But don’t worry, Everypony does that the first time.’ I calmed down, then smiled.

“Dude. That’s awesome!... wait… can you read my thoughts too?”

‘Yep.’

“That’s… uncomfortable…”

‘I can choose whether or not I want to, and right now, I’m not.’

“You’re lying, aren’t you?”

‘Yep.’

“Thought so.”

‘I know you did!’ Oddball trotted by me happily.

“This is-” Terrain started, pointing at the scarred stallion. He was HUGE.

“I’m Weight Lifter. Got any problems that need solving? I’m your guy!” He smiled at me. He was missing a few teeth.

“I’ll keep that in mind!”

He trotted away, keeping his eyes on me at all times.

“Right, well, this is Allon Sea.” He pointed to a Pegasus wearing a medal in the shape of a Phoenix, “He’s the chief master sergeant of the Pegasus air force.”

“We have more than just the guard?” I asked.

“Of course! Some Pegasi are in the air force, and some are in the primary attack troops.”

Allon Sea extended his hoof to me, and I shook it, “Allon Sea? I feel like I’ve heard that name before!”

“Well, I’m main captain of the air force! What do you expect?”

“No, I mean, as a word…”

“My mom named me after a word her imaginary friend said a lot.” He sighed, “She was obsessed with this guy. She always went on and on about how he flew through time in his magical blue box, and insisted he was real! Sorry, I go off on tangents sometimes. I do that a lot. I don’t know why! It might be genetics or-”

“We get it Allon.” Terrain stopped him.

“Right, sorry!” He trotted off to his bunk.

“This is Night Blaze!” Terrain allowed the Limping Earth Pony to step forward.

“Well, I’ve never seen a mare in the guard before!” He circled me, “It’s nice to see some… new things in the area…”

“Umm, yeah! And uh, please stop circling me, it’s freaking me out! You’re like a freakin’ vulture.”

“Why is that? Not enough space? Or too much?” He came behind me and flicked my flank with his tail.

“Hey!” I turned around and faced him as he circled me.

“What’s the matter? Uncomfortable? Want me to shift positions?” He stopped circling and put his hoof on my neck.

I backed away, “Look, there’s no chance! That’s NOT going to happen!”

“Fine, fine!” He stepped back, “I’ll leave you alone!” He began walking to his bunk, “But let me know if you change your mind!”

“Not a chance!” I glared at him.

”Well, that was awkward!” Terrain said, “Anyway, next up, we’ve got mystery,” A lime green Pegasus with a similar green mane hovered over to me.

“Umm, hi…” He said, and hovered back to his bunk.

“What’s with him?” I asked.

“That’s why we call him mystery. Takes orders, and does them right. He rarely ever speaks, and when he does, it’s when he’s asked a question and is ordered to answer it.”

“Well, if he won’t say his name, how did he get through training when someone asked his name??”

“He faired well and completed every task set before him, but he was beat for not answering a question from a superior officer.”

I gasped in shock, “They can’t just beat ponies!”

“You think the enemy will refuse to beat you because ‘it’s against the law’? Quick tip Dash: Do as your superior officers ask, or be beaten to a f***ing pulp.” I swallowed.

“And last but not least, we have Jelly Sandwich. Lease don’t make fun of his name, he has anger issues.” I was barely able to suppress myself from smiling, but my mind kept saying it.

‘Jelly Sandwich, Jelly Sandwich, Jelly Sandwich…’

A blue unicorn with a red mane trotted up, “I know. My parents were frickin’ morons, and couldn’t come up with a real name. They thought it was cute.” He said flatly, then trotted to his bunk.

“Those are your new roommates. And including me, of course!” He struck a heroic pose.

“Yeah. Thanks Terrain. I’m sure knowing ponies that I’m probably not going to get to know very well is going to be very useful in the future!”

“Trust me: It will be good to know. Well, time for bed!” He yawned, “We’ll all wake up to the alarm clock.”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” I said, “There isn’t an alarm clock in this barracks!”

“Oh, you’ll see what I mean in the morning!” And with that, he trotted to bed.

I turned to do the same, seeing Night Blaze in my bed with a rose in his mouth.

“Where did you even get that?” I asked.

“Maybe you could change your mind just for one night, eh?”

I proceeded to the bed and bucked him off.

“Fine! I’ll try again tomorrow!”

“I’d prefer you never try again!”

“Oh, why so grumpy? You need some fun to keep it from getting worse!” I threw my book at him, “Alright, alright, alright!” He trotted to his bed, allowing me to climb onto mine.

“Hey, Oddball?” Weight Lifter said.

“Mind turning off the lights?”

“You’re the only unicorn in here, and we’re all in bed already!”

“Ugh, fine!” Lifter stood up and headed to the light switch, but before he could flip it, it gained an orange-ish glow, and flipped, drowning the building in darkness.

“Oddball?”

“You’re an a**hole.”

“Screw you too!” And I heard hoofsteps head to the place where lifter’s bed was.

“Night guys!” I heard Jade say.

“Night, Jade!” I heard Terrain reply.

“Cut the friggin’ friendly ‘good night’s and go to sleep!” Yelled Allon Sea.

I spent the night thinking of what morning would bring, and thought myself to sleep…




Only to be woken up a moment later with a buck to the back…

Comments ( 9 )

Nevermind! Not a short chapter!
Almost 2000!
Better than normal!

Now prepare for a whopping more than 2000 words!
Probably 3-5000!:yay:

CIAHFOBIA

Interesting. What a great alarm clock.

1094785
Oh, military! You're a 'buck'in awesome alarm clock:trollestia::facehoof::rainbowlaugh:

1094992
I feel terrible right now. This amazing story has comments from 9 different people. That is just sad.

1095015
70% of the comments are mine.
It makes me feel better the more comments I have.

Other than the Equestrian military structure being screwy, I am really enjoying this!

Your dialogue is great!

...Oh, and if Rainbow doesn't get yelled at or something in the next chapter, I will be greatly disappointed. :fluttercry:

Keep it up!

Silver out!

1095306
Like I said:
Halo books.
And by reading those, I'm pretty sure it'll have too much yelling (If that is a thing :unsuresweetie:).

And it seems to me that you and Literature do not understand the concept of a wake up call.
A painful wake up call.
To the spine.

From another pony.

And totally not RD bucking herself.

Totally not a dream.

Totally not spoilers.

75% crap I did it again!:flutterrage::fluttershyouch::twilightoops::twilightangry2::derpyderp2:

It actually isn't spoilers.

I may be a moron, but I'm not an idiot!

YAY! MY FIRST DISLIKE!!!

Well, maybe not commandos, but you get the point.

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