• Member Since 8th Apr, 2016
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Turtwig-Tales


A little turtle who likes to write

E

Nightmare Moon has been defeated, the long-lost Princess Luna has returned, and everyone is happy. Well, Princess Celestia is. The castle staff is still rather unnerved by everything the sudden disappearance of their monarch, and are still wary of this situation.

One guard is particularly unhappy with this new arrival. Which is why he's staying as close to her as possible.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

This was an interesting take on how Luna's appearance changed in the series, as well as filling in an obvious query:

If even Spike had a misunderstanding about who Luna was post-elements (and post-Pinkie celebration), presumably the royal guards would be even more unseated by the whole affair.

I'd honestly like to see a continuation on this, with more actual interaction between Luna and the castle staff. But as-is this is still a well-done vignette.

Very interesting take, I have to say. Really got me into Sterling's Mindset. Even if I knew Luna wasn't Nightmare Moon anymore, for just a few moments I was feeling Sterling's anxiety and believing like him Luna hadn't truly returned.

This was lovely, but there were lots of missing words and other weirdness. Maybe an editing run or a prereader would be a good idea? It's so lovely otherwise that it shouldn't have to suffer from something so straightforward to fix.

beautifully written ,beautifully told. well done to you on this fine story.

I was kinda expecting a post transformation:
"OH NO, SHE'S HOT!"

Very Nice can't wait for the next chapter.

Very nice. I like the thought process you gave the guards.

So, minor bit to pick here. If the Princesses are supposed to have a guard assigned to them at all times, where the guard for Princess Celestia through all of this?

Eh, minor point that doesn't change anything for the story, but that just stuck with me.

Otherwise, I liked it.

Typo:

Even after Celestia had returned, an air of unease still filled the capitol.

capital
The Capitol is a building.

since most everything had been damaged already.

almost everything
"most" nothing/everything/any/etc. sounds silly

Theirs eyes were brighter,

Their

9133772
Thanks for the heads-up! Fixed those typos:twilightsmile:

For now, Sterling decided he should buy his time. He was just one Earth Pony, he wouldn’t stand a chance against two alicorns alone.

Bide

Shall thee be joining us?” she asked. Her voice…it was stronger now, but still held a warmth and tenderness. It reminded him of a lullaby him mother used to sing to him as a foal.

Shalt thou

Dang this was good.

Celestia’s return was greeted with great fanfare, which promptly ended when ….(a….second alicorn made her appearance. The princess had proclaimed that her long-lost sister had returned to all of Canterlot. Of course, she had to include why she had been lost. Naturally those present, having been raised with a holiday centered on a foal-gobbling monster, didn’t take it too well. At least it wasn’t as bad as the previous panic-induced riot, since most everything had been damaged already. Silver linings and all that. Thankfully, Celestia managed to pacify the crowd with a mere word before anything got out of hoof. Then the two retired to the castle, where the staff got their first close encounter with Nightmare Moon.

He shuffled his hooves, causing the pale violet armor he wore rattle around him. He still hadn’t gotten the damn thing fitted properly, so it was loose fitting and extremely uncomfortable. Apparently, a fair amount of Night Guard armor had been sitting in a warehouse somewhere gathering dust for last thousand years or so. Most of them were made to fit bat ponies, or at least a Pegasus, and so that Sterling’s Earth Pony frame had required longer straps to stay on. Unfortunately, in the rush to assign a guard to Nightmare Moon, there hadn’t been time to properly measure the armor for size, and so it hung awkwardly in some places. Getting those measurements wouldn’t be difficult, a few minutes and few cuts and ….(the)….job was done. Not that he felt the need to, however. After Nightmare Moon was gone, this old piece of garbage would back in storage, or better yet, melted down into something useful. He couldn’t wait to be back in gold.

That didn’t fill him with confidence. Instead, he began think rapidly. (Not panic, never. Royal Guards don’t panic.)

thinking OR
to think

Celestia smiled softly and turned to face the sun as it rested on the horizon, waiting for its nightly rest. She ignited her horn, and slowly guided the sun below the horizon, causing the sky to blaze in a brilliant sunset. One of the most beautiful sunsets Sterling had ever witnessed, as far he could recall. Although, it did seem a bit rushed, like Celesita was anxious for what came next.

Just a small typo here... other than that, great story! Loved the way you portrayed Sterling's thoughts 👍

9132976

This is the kind of comment I came down here to see. Thank you!

Someone had managed to set a public fountain on fire.

Only in Equestria :facehoof:
Technically that should be 'somepony', as well, but I suppose that's the writer's choice. I couldn't find another useage of either form of the word in a quick skim of the story, so I'm not sure if it's intentional or merely an oversight.

9136268
We don't know it WAS a pony who did that.... it could have been a disguised changeling or even a traveling griffin! Using "someone" is appropriate here. LOL

I know the cover picture is supposed to be the night guard armor (as seen from the front) but I swear the author has tried to hide Nightmare Moon's... uhh... anatomy... in that picture.

Great story, but that you-know-what is all I can see.

9136786
I did consider that, but since the speaker in this case is a pony guard, it would make sense for them to default to 'somepony', rather than 'someone'. It's not a big deal really :twilightsheepish:

Beautifully written. Well done.

9134791
I'm glad I could help. Though that "most" everything still remains. ;)

9132556

I second this, actually.

I'd like to see more of these interactions.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This is a very good story. Definitely deserves a spot in the Favorites box. There are still a few typos, though...

Typos aside, a very well-written vignette.

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It would have been nice if the show had spent part of Season 1 on this sort of thing. Instead, Luna just vanished and wasn't seen at all until Season 2.

Both sisters should have interacted with Discord at his return, and the Gala would have been even more interesting with an awkward Luna. Then it would have had more than enough material for a 2-parter.

Ah well, few saw the potential of the show for proper fantasy storytelling.

Ah, this brings me back to the early days of the fandom, when everyone latched on pale-coated Luna and made a few hundred different bonding fics about her return.

Granted, that led into the New Lunar Republic and Solar Empire fiascos, but hey, the fanart was good.

Only nitpick would be the bat pony fanon (it's always been a costume) but the things people have done with them over the years has been enjoyable nonetheless.

Nicely done.

I would like more of this! This story has a softness I have long missed in stories.

I love how you show us how she changed physically after that whole event. Pretty sweet! A very nice read; you did excellent!

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