No Heroes (New)
No Heroes
Sunset Shimmer drummed her fingers impatiently upon the glass counter of the dust shop. When she glanced down, she could see her reflection in said glass, the red streaks in her fiery hair seeming to blend with the red of the fire dust crystals kept in the case below. She looked irritated, and in Sunset's opinion, she had every right to be. She'd come into From Dust 'til Dawn because, even after her flight from Canterlot to Vale and her finding suitable accommodations, she still had a little bit of lien left over from her travel grant and had decided that a little dust might come in handy during initiation. As a rule, dust was out of Sunset’s price range, but since she had some spare change for once and since this was her chance to make a big impression, she had decided to splash out.
Just a little fire dust, that was all she wanted. But she had been standing here for the last twenty minutes waiting to be served while the old guy who ran this shop pottered about without so much of an acknowledgement of her presence.
And it wasn't even as if the place was crowded. Sunset couldn't see anybody else here, not a single soul. Her ears pressed flat against the top of her head. Her tail twitched irritably back and forth.
Just because I don't have anything better to do tonight doesn't mean that I want to spend all night standing here!
Sunset cleared her throat. "Excuse me!"
"I'll be right with you," the aged shopkeeper croaked in reply.
"You said that five minutes ago," Sunset reminded him. "And ten minutes before that."
The shopkeeper sighed as he made his way towards the counter. "Listen, I've got a lot to do at the back, so I'm sorry, but you'll just have to wait until I'm done."
"And I'm sure you'd be saying the exact same thing to a human," Sunset growled.
"Hey!" the shopkeeper said. "If you're not happy with the way I do business, you're welcome to go someplace else."
"Yeah, because there are so many dust shops open this late," Sunset muttered under her breath. Nevertheless, she was tempted to just leave and forget the dust, if only to show that she had some pride and self-respect. She wasn't about to let this guy treat her like dirt just because he could.
On the other hoof, she did want that dust.
It was a conundrum that she had not yet resolved when she heard the tinkling of the bell above the shop door as someone came in behind her. The shopkeeper's eyes widened in apprehension as someone coughed behind Sunset.
"Excuse us, little pony." The voice that spoke was smarmy, and his tone would have made Sunset bristle even if he hadn't just called her 'little pony.' "But you don't mind if we cut in line, do you? My friends and I are in a little bit of a hurry."
Sunset's jaw clenched in anger. "As a matter of fact, I do mind," she declared, as she started to turn around. "Because I've been waiting here for nearly half an hour, and I'm not about to just-" She fell silent as she got a chunky, boxy auto-pistol shoved into her face.
"That was me asking nicely." The man who spoke was a well-dressed redhead in a crisp white suit, with a bowler hat upon his head and thick black gloves covering his hands. He was holding a cigar that looked as though it had just been plucked from between his teeth in one hand, and with the other, he was trifling with a cane that was either an affectation or a weapon, given that he clearly didn't need it for support. He spoke, but he was not the one who had just shoved a gun into Sunset’s face. Ranged around the man in white were a half-dozen muscular fellows dressed in all-black suits, black fedoras, and red ties, all of them sporting some variety of facial hair, their eyes concealed behind red sunglasses. It was one of them, a bearded fellow with a square jaw, who held the pistol that was of most concern to Sunset at this moment.
Sunset smirked. "Nice outfits, fellas; are you on your way to a party?"
The man in the white suit chuckled. "We'll find some way to celebrate, I'm sure. Now, you're too young to be a huntress, but you've got that fancy weapon on your shoulder so…let me guess, Beacon student."
"Soon-to-be Beacon student, actually."
"Congratulations," said the man in white, a genial smile upon his face. "My father always believed in the transformative power of education." His face hardened. "But this isn't the classroom, kid, and we're not playing games, so you're not going to give me any trouble, are you?"
The smirk remained on Sunset's face. "Nope," she said. "No trouble at all." As much as foiling whatever crime in progress this was before she'd even started attending Beacon would be a feather in her cap when she got to Beacon, she wasn't inclined to risk her life for a shopkeeper who had gone out of his way to waste her time.
“Smart girl, you definitely belong at that fancy school,” the man in the white suit said. “Now, believe me, I’d love to let you finish your browsing, but my boys and I are on a bit of a tight schedule, so why don’t you stick your hands where we can see them, and we’ll do our best to make this quick and painless and get out of your pretty hair as soon as possible.”
Sunset raised her hands slowly, until they were level with her head, palms facing outwards towards the criminals that confronted her. That left her in a pretty good position to use her magic if necessary, but they didn't know that yet, and Sunset wasn't about to enlighten them.
The man with the pistol pointed at Sunset and gestured sideways with his gun. "Move," he snapped. Sunset slid out of the way, exposing the counter full of dust and the shopkeeper standing beside it.
"That’s the spirit," said the man in white as he strolled up to the counter, taking the place that Sunset had vacated. He leaned upon the glass case. "The good news for you, old man, is that we're not here for your money." To the man still pointing a gun at Sunset he said, "Keep her covered. The rest of you grab the dust."
Sunset watched as the crew set to work. There were a series of pipes secured to the side of the shop wall, filled with ready-ground and purified dust of various varieties; the crooks plugged large cylinders into those pipes and began extracting the powder. They also put down a case on top of the counter and gestured to the shopkeeper to fill it with crystals.
The shopkeeper glanced at Sunset with an accusatory look on his face.
"Don't look at her!" snapped the man in white. He sniggered. "Maybe in your day, some have-a-go hero would have stepped in to do what's right and save the day, but that's not the world we live in anymore. Nobody's going to help you out."
Meanwhile, the bearded man keeping Sunset covered had been eyeing up Sol Invictus, or at least what he could see of it; the weapon was slung crosswise across Sunset's shoulder, with only the top of the barrel and the butt of the stock visible. "That looks like a nice piece," he said, as she started to reach out for the rifle. "You huntresses always get the coolest stuff."
Sunset took a step back. Her tail flicked upwards. "Look, but don’t touch, okay, buddy," she said.
The crook smirked. "If you think the boss cares whether you live or die then-”
A blast of green magical energy leapt from Sunset's left palm to strike the would-be weapon thief square in the face. He was hurled backwards with a startled cry of alarm – matching the cry made by another of black-suited crooks as he was hurled across the store by some unseen force in the back.
Sunset threw herself sideways, landing on the floor with a thump. She was hidden behind the left-hand side of the central square counter for now, but she crawled rapidly around behind it as she unslung Sol Invictus. Her fingertip traced the flaming sun engraved in the stock – her cutie mark, which she had adopted as her symbol in this world – as she gripped the wood tightly. She cocked the hammer on her rifle into the firing position and the cylinder containing the ammunition rotated to the ready position in turn.
Six rounds in the cylinder. Five-
Out of the corner of her eye Sunset caught sight of a red blur as another of the men in black was kicked out of the dust shop window.
Make that four targets.
The man in the white suit growled in irritation. "You three get the girl! I'll deal with the pony myself!"
I'm a unicorn, actually. Sunset rose partially from out of her cover, snapping off a pair of shots at the black-clad gangsters as they rushed out of the door to confront whoever "the girl" was outside. She hit the guy at the back, in the back, with both shots, but it wasn’t enough to drop him before he got outside. Sunset fired her third shot at the man in white, who ducked behind the other side of the central square so that Sunset's bullet slammed into the door frame.
"You know," the man in white said, his tone far too casual for the circumstances, "maybe if you'd gone to school, you would have learned-" - he rose from behind cover, pointing the tip of his cane at the shelf full of fire-dust packets behind Sunset - "-not to start a firefight in a dust store."
Crap! Sunset’s eyes widened as a glowing missile of some kind shot from the tip of the cane and flew towards the packets of dust shelved just behind her. She flung out her hand, conjuring a glowing green bubble around the missile just before it struck the volatile dust powder. Inverted shield, a spell of her own design, that flung the shield up around someone else rather than you. She’d thought it might be useful for capturing people, but as the missile exploded harmlessly within the bubble Sunset reflected that it was good for rockets and grenades as well.
Sunset dispelled her shield. She had enough magic left for a couple more neat tricks, at least. She returned her attention to the front of the store and took aim at the man in the white suit. Except that while Sunset had been concentrating on not getting blown up, her opponent had grabbed the shopkeeper, hauled him over the counter, and was now using him as a human shield, with one black-gloved hand tight around the old man's throat.
"You got some neat tricks, kid," the man in white acknowledged, "but I'm afraid this is where we part ways, unless you want to shoot the hostage for your shot at bringing me in."
Sunset snorted. "Tempting, but I'm not so lost to honour yet." Besides, that would look really good when I got to Beacon, wouldn't it? The faunus who goes around shooting shopkeepers.
He laughed. "That sense of righteousness is why guys like me will always get away from guys like you. See you around, baconhair."
Baconhair? My hair does not look like bacon! My hair looks like fire! Like the flames of the majestic phoenix! Let go of that hostage and then call me baconhair again.
Sunset bared her teeth as she stalked around the ruined counter, Sol Invictus trained on the man in white.
"Ah ah ah," he said, as he himself retreated with his shield towards the door. "That's close enough, unless you want grandpa here to get his neck snapped."
Sunset froze, but kept her gun trained on the man as he fumbled awkwardly with the cane in his free hand to open the door and retreat out into the street. Sunset sidestepped towards the broken window, so that she could see what he could see when he got outside: all three of his remaining guys had been taken out. The architect of their defeat was a diminutive little girl, with rose red tips to her short black hair, wearing a black blouse and matching skirt while a long crimson cape dangled almost to the ground behind her.
She was wielding the biggest weapon that Sunset had yet come across in her training, a scythe that was between half again and twice as big as she was, and looking all the more intimidating for the blood red colour in which she'd painted most of it. The tip of the blade was buried in the tarmac as the girl pointed the shaft like a spear towards the man in white.
"I see you guys were worth every lien," the man in white muttered, observing his unconscious minions on the ground.
"Let him go!" the girl demanded in an incongruously high-pitched and squeaky voice.
"Let him go? Sure thing, Red, I'll let him go once I'm on my way out of here," the man in white replied. "Until then, if I see either of you two take one step," he half turned back to Sunset, his one eye – the other was concealed beneath his ginger bangs – flickering towards her, "if I feel anything touch my aura then I'll-"
He turned to the pale little girl, his back to Sunset. And as his back was turned, Sunset teleported.
Since she came to this world, where she seemed to be the only being in it who possessed any magic, she had mostly restricted her use of it to a combination of energy blasts and shields that she could pass off as her semblance. Teleportation was of a different order altogether, but if she didn’t do it now, then she was going to lose this guy, and she wasn’t willing to let that happen just so she could keep hiding her light under a bushel.
Better make this count.
Sunset disappeared with a crack and a flash of green light, reappearing in that same instant, one foot off the ground, Sol Invictus reversed in her hands, and right behind the man in the white suit.
Sunset growled wordlessly as she swung her rifle at him like a bat, cracking him with the butt across the side of the head before he realised what was happening. He grunted in pain, staggering sideways, and as he staggered, he lost his grip on the old man.
There was a blur of red, and suddenly, the air was filled with falling rose petals, petals trailing across the road like drops of blood; for a moment, Sunset felt an icy grip in her stomach. Had he just cut the shopkeeper’s throat? Had she just gotten a man killed? But it was the girl, the girl with the crimson cape, moving faster than Sunset's eye could follow to cross the distance between them and wrap one arm around the shopkeeper's stick-thin waist. She slowed down to avoid slamming into the shop front. A slight smile played upon her round, pale face as she volleyed off the brick exterior of the dust store to change direction, bearing the shopkeeper down the street and depositing him safely on the sidewalk.
Sunset landed on her feet, reversing Sol Invictus once more to fire her remaining three rounds at the man in white before he could recover. His aura didn't break, but he kept on staggering sideways with every bullet that slammed into him, clutching his side and grunting in pain.
Out of bullets, Sunset prepared to let him have it with the bayonet.
"Look out!" cried the girl in black and red with the high-pitched voice.
Sunset didn't have time to react, nor did she see where the attack came from; all she knew was that suddenly someone was kicking her hard enough to make her double over as she felt her aura drop noticeably . Someone kicked her again, in the chin this time, and she winced in pain as she flew through the air to land on her back in the middle of the road.
She heard a pair of barking, high-pitched gunshots.
Sunset looked up to see that the man in white had been joined by a young girl wearing a white jacket over a corset and boots. She was also holding a parasol and smirking in a rather irritating manner.
"Perfect timing as always," the man in the white suit said. He tipped his hat to Sunset and the other girl. "Ladies."
"You won't get away!" cried the girl in the red cape as she leapt for the pair, her enormous scythe swinging. The oversized blade struck the two, who shattered like glass into shards that tumbled to the ground before they disappeared into nothing.
"Huh?" the girl whispered, as a Bullhead rose into the night sky and began to fly away over the rooftops of Vale. "Did…did they just get away?"
"So it would seem." The reply came not from Sunset, but from the middle-aged woman with pale blonde hair currently stalking down the street towards them, her high heels tapping on the tarmac of the road. She paused, as if she was allowing the sound of rapidly approaching police sirens to reach their ears. "If we're lucky, the police will be able to intercept them in the air. In the meantime, the pair of you have some explaining to do."
Sunset sat in an interrogation room at the nearest precinct of the Vale Police Department. Once more, she found herself waiting, drumming her fingers upon a surface while she waited upon the convenience of someone else.
I know I left the place in kind of a mess, but come on! That was hardly my fault.
She glanced at the one-way mirror on the right-hand side of the room and wondered if anyone was watching her through it. She kept her expression blank, or tried to. She didn't want anyone who might be watching to think that she was rattled by all this.
The door opened, and a man Sunset would have recognised from his place in the history books even if she’d never met him before walked in. He was a tall old man, with an untidy mop of white hair sitting atop his head, dressed in a jacket, waistcoat, and scarf that ascended through progressively lighter shades of green. A pair of very small, round pince-nez sat near the bottom of his nose, and he leaned lightly upon a long wooden cane with an ornately decorated metal head. The Beacon admissions process had included an interview with the man, conducted via video-call. He had already held Sunset’s fate in his hands once; now, he might decide to withdraw his earlier offer and leave her...leave her no better off than she had been when she fled Equestria.
She tried to keep all of this behind her blank and neutral expression, but Sunset could not help but feel as though Professor Ozpin had divined it all regardless. She could only hope not.
Professor Ozpin smiled. "Good evening, Miss Shimmer. You must feel a very long way from home at this point."
Sunset blinked. What does he mean by that? It is true, I am a long way from Equestria, but he doesn't know that so what in Celestia's name is he talking about? "No further than any other student who comes to Beacon from Atlas, Professor," she said.
"No," Professor Ozpin murmured. "Indeed not. So many come such a long way. I only hope that we make it worth their while once they get here." He pulled up the chair on the other side of the table and sat down. "Most other students, however, whether they come from Atlas, Mistral, Vale, or even Vacuo, wait until they actually start school before they start to get into trouble."
"I think it's fairer to say that trouble found me in this instance, Professor," Sunset said. "Talk to the other girl; she'll tell you-"
"Yes, I've just been speaking to her," Professor Ozpin said. "I've also spoken to the owner of the establishment you…defended, after a fashion. I must confess that your initial conduct when the criminals first entered the store is a little...troubling."
Sunset's mouth felt suddenly very dry. She licked her lips. "I was waiting for the ideal moment, Professor."
"Indeed?" Professor Ozpin murmured. Sunset had the squirming feeling of being examined, as if he were pinning her beneath a microscope. She turned her head away, bowing it towards the floor so that he could no longer look into her eyes.
"You left the shopkeeper in a rather vulnerable position," he pointed out.
"I never said that I didn't have anything to learn, Professor," Sunset replied, still refusing to meet his gaze.
Professor Ozpin was silent for a moment. "Miss Shimmer," he said, "at Beacon Academy, we train huntsmen and huntresses. That is not the same as being a warrior or as merely possessing power and having been trained in its use. To be a huntress…is to embody the very highest virtues of mankind. To be a light in darkness, when all other lights go out."
I've heard variations on this speech before, and I didn't like where it led. When Princess Celestia had started talking like this, it was preparatory to telling Sunset that she was done. That couldn't be happening here, not again. She couldn't be about to be cast about before she'd even begun. This is my last chance. I cannot have squandered it already. Please, let fate have mercy. Sunset glanced at the headmaster. "Are you…are you telling me that my place at Beacon has been withdrawn?"
The smile returned to Professor Ozpin's face. "Do you know why the huntsman academies exist, Miss Shimmer, when so many of our students already arrive at our halls so very well trained, and so deadly?"
Sunset breathed in and out. "No, Professor."
"It is because the founders of the academies believed, as I do, that the virtues of a huntsman can be taught, to those who are willing to learn," Professor Ozpin explained. "Your place at my school is safe. I merely wished to make it plain what will be expected of you when you arrive." He got to his feet. "You are free to go, and I look forward to seeing you at Beacon for the start of Spring Semester. Best of luck, Miss Shimmer."
Ruby Rose waited outside of the police station, feeling bathed in light despite the darkness of the night sky.
Of course, that was partly because she was standing directly under a streetlight, but it was also so much more than that.
It was because her dreams were now one step closer to coming true.
All her life, ever since she’d been a little girl being read bedtime stories of heroes and monsters by Yang, Ruby had dreamed of becoming a huntress. Like the heroes in the books, like Dad, like Uncle Qrow...like Mom. Like Mom most of all.
Beacon was the next step on the road to achieving that goal, and thanks to Professor Ozpin, she was getting her chance two years early. It would be difficult, probably; almost certainly, it would be difficult. But Yang would be there, and with the help of her big sister, Ruby was certain that she would be able to get through it.
She wasn’t going to let anything stand in her way. She would become a huntress, no matter how hard the work was.
She just hoped that the other students at Beacon could accept her and not think of her either as some kid in over her head or as some sort of special prodigy they needed to stay out of the way of.
She wanted to go to Beacon and learn to become a huntress with all her heart, but that didn’t mean that she wanted to spend her four years there hived off from all her fellow students.
That was why, as much as she wanted to rush off and tell Yang the good news right this instant, she was waiting out here for the other girl who had fought beside her. It wasn’t just to say thank you; it was also because Ruby hoped that having someone besides Yang that she knew once she got to Beacon might make things just a little easier.
The doors to the police station opened, and the other girl stepped out into the night. She was a horse faunus, with pointy equine ears rising out of her hair and a two-tone tail of red and gold descending down towards the ground; Ruby knew that there were faunus who had two animal traits instead of one, but they were really rare, and she’d never actually met one before. The girl’s hair was the same colour as her tail, streaks of red and gold so that it almost looked as though her hair and tail were on fire. Her eyes were large and green and dominated her face far more than her mouth or her tiny nose. She wore a black leather jacket with a studded collar over a purple top with a blazing sun – half red and half gold, just like her hair – emblazoned on the chest, and a short skirt of mostly orange, with purple and pale yellow stripes over a pair of blue jeans. She was holding a rifle with an integrated bayonet attached in her right hand. Her boots made thumping noises on the ground as she descended the stone steps from the police station down to street level.
Ruby took a step forward into the light spilling out of the station. "Hey," she said. "Thanks for your help back there."
The other girl smiled smugly, and preened at her hair with her left hand. “You’re very welcome. It was the least I could do,” she declared, in a weird tone of voice that Ruby couldn’t quite put a name too. It was like she was trying to sound humble...but at the same time, she also sounded really smug.
“It’s a pity that we couldn’t catch that guy,” Ruby continued, “but at least we saved the old man’s life; that’s the most important thing. That, and we stopped the OH MY GOSH!" Ruby cried as her eyes slid from the other girl's face to the gun she was holding in her right hand.
The other girl took a step away from Ruby and the look of eagerness upon her face. "What?"
"Is that a revolver rifle?"
The other girl's eyes narrowed. She shifted her grip on her gun a little. "Yeees," she said, drawing out the word just a little more than it warranted.
"That is so cool! You almost never see that any more! Six shots in the cylinder or five?
"Six."
"Double action or single?"
"Double, of course."
“And the calibre...let me guess…” Ruby narrowed her eyes, studying the size of the weapon. “.223?”
“How did you know that?”
“I’m...kind of a dork about weapons.” Ruby closed the distance between them in an instant; she ran her small, pale hands over the walnut stock. "Why did you use wood for the stock?"
"Because I wanted something heavy enough to brain a grimm with if I needed to," the other girl explained. "Plus…I kinda like the classic look." Her thumb ran over the image of the sun – matching the symbol on her top – that she had carved into the wood.
"Oh. Yeah, totally, not enough people appreciate the classics," Ruby said with a laugh, as she suddenly became worried that she'd offended the other girl with the implication that her weapon was old-fashioned. Well, it was old-fashioned, but that didn't mean that it didn't work. She spotted a canister of some kind mounted just above the trigger guard. "Hey, what does this do?"
The other girl yanked the gun away Ruby before she could set it off. "That causes the bayonet to extend outwards an additional three feet so that-"
"So you can use it as a spear! Obviously!" Ruby squealed. "And that means there's gas in the canister, right?"
"Compressed air."
"And I guess that there's some kind of locking mechanism in place to prevent it being pushed back in when it hits something."
"Of course."
"That is so cool!" Ruby cried. "What's her name? Did you make it yourself? How long have you had her?"
"Its name is Sol Invictus, and I've had it for a couple of years now. I…had the parts made to my specifications, then I assembled them personally."
"Aww," Ruby sighed with undisguised disappointment. "I kind of feel as though you ought to craft all the parts yourself, you know?" She produced her beloved Crescent Rose from behind her, and with a flick of a button, her beauty unfolded itself like, well, a rose. Every hiss, every click was music of Ruby's ears, her precious baby revealing itself in all its glory, a perfect blending of her soul and her skill. "Meet my Crescent Rose," Ruby declared proudly. "A high-impact sniper rifle with a twelve round magazine…and it's also a scythe, obviously."
The other girl's eyebrows scaled her head. "You…you machined all the parts for that yourself?"
"Yup. All students at Signal forge their own weapons."
"Signal should throw in the towel for combat training and focus on producing engineers," the other girl muttered.
"Well, they're not all…I did kind of…I'm kind of a dork when it comes to weapons." She held out her hand once more. "I'm Ruby, Ruby Rose."
The other girl stared at her hand for a moment before she reached out and took it. "Sunset Shimmer."
"Pleased to meet you," Ruby said, folding up Crescent Rose and putting it away behind her. "So, what happened to you in there?"
"Nothing," Sunset said.
"You were in there after I was done," Ruby said. "Something must have happened."
Sunset paused. "Let me clarify," she said. "Nothing happened that I want to discuss with you. Or anybody else."
"Oh, right," Ruby said quietly. Great, now she'd gone and said completely the wrong thing. "Um, so, are you a Beacon student, too?"
Sunset had already turned away from Ruby and took her first steps as she began to answer. "Sort of, I start my first year in a few days.”
“Ooh, me too!” Ruby cried. “Professor Ozpin let me in just now, after tonight!”
Sunset blinked. “You mean...he wasn’t going to let you in before?”
“Well, I mean…” Ruby hesitated for a moment, wishing that she hadn’t invited this line of questioning. “I am...only...fifteen,” she admitted, pushing her fingers together as she waited to see how Sunset would react.
“Fifteen,” Sunset repeated. Her jaw clenched, for a moment, and something flashed in her eyes. “That’s...lucky you,” she said.
“I know,” Ruby cheered. “I still can’t believe it! This has been my dream, well, it’s been a part of my dream, for...for as long as I’ve had one.”
Sunset stared down at Ruby, without saying anything. She stepped a little farther out of the light spilling from the police station, and a little further into the darkness between the street lights. “Your dream, huh?”
Ruby nodded. “To become a huntress and help protect the world from all the dangers and the monsters.”
Sunset’s eyes were the most visible thing about her now. Green eyes burning in the darkness. She sighed, and her voice when it came was melancholy, like a flower caught by a sudden frost. “Then I hope...that you’re not disappointed when you wake up,” she said. “Good luck to you, Ruby Rose. I’ll see you around.” She turned on her heel and began to walk away.
"Wait!" Ruby cried. "Where are you going?"
Sunset stopped, looking back at Ruby over her shoulder. "Back to my motel room."
"You don't have to," Ruby said. "I was just going to go and find my big sister, Yang; she's starting at Beacon this year too. Afterwards, we could…I don't know, get something to eat? Celebrate?"
Sunset said nothing for a moment, and for that moment, Ruby thought, hoped, that she would take Ruby up on that offer. “Thanks,” she said, “but I’ll pass. Later.” She resumed her walk away from Ruby.
"See you around, Sunset Shimmer," Ruby replied, waving to Sunset's retreating back. Her voice dropped as she added, "It was nice meeting you."
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Interesting twist on things. Though the Shopkeeper is upset that Sunny doesn't risk her life to stop his shop from being robbed? After he ignored her for at least fifteen minutes?
Reap what you sow dude.
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Not to defend him too hard, but he sees it more as what she's owed for being a faunus out this late, making it unsafe for the 'better men' to be out. More, she's supposed to be a Huntress(To the common man, Hunters and Hunters-in-training are pretty hard to tell apart), and they're supposed to be above such concerns as petty feuds and racisim, awhile he, a base mortal, is not.
That being said, prick is lucky that Ruby was there, as without a witness holding her back, I think Sunset would have been a bit less charitable to him. We know her opinions later on, and well, I wouldn't put it past her to think him an acceptable loss for stopping the bad guys.
A new take on RWBY's first episode. While being vindictive isn't exactly what Ozpin would be looking for....yeah, can't say I really blame Sunset for letting Torchwick rob the place. Oz was sending mixed messages here anyway. "Most other students...wait until they actually start school before they start to get into trouble." he says, then implies that Sunset should have acted sooner.
Well this was a nice little way to introduce Sunset and Ruby.
It looks like you’re going to need to edit the orientation and initiation test for Sunset recognizing Ruby and cut out the weapon talk respectively. Also Sunset’s original first time meeting Torchwick. And maybe one of the times he talks to Cinder about his success rate.
Definitely a welcome surprise with this chapter. As a historian, anything that has an alternate take on a known event is a win in my book! It took a while for my brain to readjust to old Sunset, but you did write her well, great job!
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I bet she'd take some dust as payment for protection and left shopkeeper alive enough to run shop, but leaving hostage die is still too much for her.
Pre-redemtion Sunset, huh? This ought to be interesting!
The second chapter doesn't disappoint one bit! I usually critique things but I don't want to do that at all, you're an extremely experienced writer by the looks of it and I wouldn't be saying anything that you wouldn't already know. Beyond that, I usually only like to praise things and leave the criticism for someone else! That said, there's a lot to love about this chapter!
I wanted to speak to Sunset Shimmer's characterization in the first chapter and how creative and unique the idea of her being a horse fauness was combined with the feeling of her 'destiny' being sidelined because of it! In Equestria, her vision of being a princess was shafted, so to come to another world entirely and have the same thing happen at almost every turn must be incredibly infuriating at a core level, and that comes across clearly as I read! Having read this chapter, it only reinforces my adoration! Having Sunset have actual magic is definitely interesting, and my mind races to think about the practical and martial implementations of it, both with and without Sol Invictus! (Which by the way, I LOVE! I feel like I'm earning my namesake here when I geek out about the weaponry, but it just sounds so cool! More than that, it feels right at home in the RWBY universe!)
From a technical standpoint, the pacing was really quick and I loved that! We see Roman and Neo introduced as they begin rounding up dust for the future offensive at Beacon, but, we also see Sunset and Ruby's paths converge on those two at the same time! It's really precise and efficient writing that keeps things moving along quickly! In all, this chapter was incredible! I know I've said it before, but I really admire your writing and I cannot wait to read more and more! There's certainly no shortage haha!
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Yeah... you won't run out any time soon, that's for sure. But I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. Grumpy Sunset was fun to write in these chapters.
Overall this chapter was pretty good. The initial setup was the same as the show, but Sunset's presence made enough of a difference to keep it interesting to read.
I do wonder about how Ozpin's conversation with Ruby went, since she didn't see nearly as much action. I also wonder if anyone else caught Sunset teleporting. Someone was watching and filming the fight in the show, since Goodwitch pulled up the footage.
Now this is an interesting change.
Right now I’m a bit “Change bad! Change scary!”
But I’m curious how this will go down.
Ok, i want to talk about what I've read so far, it's hella good, and let me tell you, did not expect it to be this good, however, i do have one complain, after I've read this chapter, the fight scene was... ok. Don't get me wrong the fight scene was good, but Sunset's involvement in the fight was not that good. Except for the teleport, all she did was stand in the same place and take a few shots, make her move a little, have her rifle become two pistols or a sword or something, make use of the environment.
Again... I really like "RWBY". Is it true. However, I just can't ignore the fact that most of the characters there are just ridiculously stupid. The sane guys can be counted on the fingers of one hand: Ozma, Ruby, Pyrrha, Ren and Nora.
So, as you join this circus... be careful how you express your "wisdom", Miss Shimmer. Because if you think there's even an iota of logic in Roman Torchwick's way of thinking, then I have bad news for you.
I don't really appreciate the lack of imagination displayed through stuffing the protagonist into existing scene with little to no change, and not even affecting the world in any way - she really might as well not have been there, Ruby would have started the fight regardless. At least Sunset didn't simply take her place, but not much different than that. Unlike Ruby, the fight didn't give her anything either, she was getting into Beacon regardless.
Well, whatever, I want to ask: does she really wears the exact same clothes she came into the world in? Bully-highschooler type of dress? Does she even have a change of clothes?
Also, using wood to hit things is not good. Wood is not strong. It splinters. It's soft. It doesn't like water. And pistols have wooden handles partly because wood absorbs shock.
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By OC, are you referring to Sunset?
You are aware that Sunset Shimmer is practically the main character of My Little Pony Equestria Girls and a Hasbro-created character, correct?