Wrath and Melancholy (Rewritten)
Wrath and Melancholy
Sunset stared at the book, lying open on the table in front of her. She stared at the words written on the page.
The Princess of Friendship
Princess.
Sunset's eyebrow twitched. Another princess? A princess of friendship no less, that power that she had counted for nothing? She was reminded uncomfortably of Cadance, whose sudden arrival at Celestia's court had marked the point at which things started to go wrong for Sunset Shimmer, the point at which the cosy pattern of her life had started to crack and the marked out road leading to her destiny had started to seem less certain than before. And now, it seemed, there was another princess in Equestria: a princess of friendship, who had taken the prize which ought by rights to have belonged to Sunset.
Another princess in Equestria.
Princess Twilight Sparkle.
That there was another princess in Equestria was bad enough, but that there was another Twilight Sparkle was almost enough to make Sunset scream.
Twilight Sparkle? Twilight Sparkle? Sunset supposed that she ought to have expected this; after all, she had known since coming through the mirror that there were those – like Principal Celestia – who had doppelgangers in Equestria and Remnant, but she had never expected that one of them would contrive to come between Sunset and all her hopes in not one but two worlds.
She remembered the Twilight Sparkle of Remnant very, very well. Clever Twilight Sparkle, sweet Twilight Sparkle, cute Twilight Sparkle, the sweetheart of the school. She and Rainbow Dash had formed the unholy duo to rule Canterlot with the help of their cronies. She had frustrated all of Sunset’s plots, turned all of Sunset’s plans and ambitions to nought, and now, she – or at least a version of her – had done it again in Equestria too, and on an even grander scale!
It was intolerable, was what it was! How had some bespectacled nerd – Sunset couldn’t help but imagine the human Twilight, possibly walking around on four legs – managed to achieve what Sunset had not and claim the crown?
How had she managed to get her dirty hooves on Sunset’s journal?
Why… why had Celestia given her Sunset's journal?
Did all our days mean so little to you, Princess, that you would cast aside our only means of connection and bestow it on this... this interloper?
Why did you give her the book? What purpose could it serve for her? Why did you think that I'd want to talk to her instead of you?
Why would you treat me like that, cast me aside in spirit as well as in fact?
There was a part of her that wanted to run. There was a part of her that wanted to weep. There was a part of her that wanted to throw the book away and forget that this had ever happened.
There was a part of her that wanted to scream in rage, because after everything that had happened to her recently, this was just too much. It didn't matter that her own ambitions had been denied years before Twilight Sparkle came upon the scene, it didn't matter that Celestia had denied her destiny to her, it didn't matter that Twilight Sparkle had no idea who Sunset Shimmer was, because it was too much. It was far, far too much. Coming on top of Jaune's inadequacy and Pyrrha's ingratitude and Weiss' haughtiness and the racism of Cardin Winchester, it was almost more than Sunset could stand.
Perhaps she should have expected this, that someone would seize the destiny from which she had been barred. But she had not wanted to think on that, and so, she had told herself that there was no one like her, that in all worlds, she was unique and uniquely suited to the crown and to her glorious destiny alike. Now, the world itself reminded her it was not so.
Sunset felt in that moment like the pompous whiteface clown, humbled and humiliated for the delight of the braying creatures in the gallery.
The Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle.
Sunset wanted to run and scream and rage and fight. Wrath and melancholy blended in her soul in equal measures. With a trembling hand, fearful of what fresh shocks might break upon her but at the same time unable to escape her desire to know for certain, Sunset picked up her pen. She had to be careful not to grip it too tight, for she was in such a mood as she could have snapped it in two if she wasn't careful.
A princess, how fascinating. Do you know Princess Celestia well?
Oh, yes. I was her personal student until I ascended, as I suppose you might call it. What about you? How do you know Princess Celestia?
Sunset didn't reply. She didn't move. She didn't speak. She didn't scream, although a part of her wanted to, now more than ever. Another part of her wanted to write more in the journal, to make more demands of Twilight, to find more answers. She had been Celestia's student. Another student of Celestia. Of course. Sunset knew that she hadn't been the first, but she had thought... she had been vain enough to hope... but no, Celestia had taken on another pupil, and she hadn't even mentioned Sunset to her, not even once. Twilight Sparkle didn't recognise her name. Princess Twilight Sparkle had no clue who she was or that they shared the same connection to Celestia.
Did you live with her, in her palace? Sunset wanted to ask. Did she tuck you in at night, did she read you bedtime stories, did she care for you when you were sick, comfort you when you were sad, did she call you by a nickname? Did she take you in when you had no one else, did she provide for you and care for you?
Did she tell you that you were destined for greatness and for glory?
Did she love you as... did she make you think she loved you... does she love you?
And do you appreciate what a wondrous gift you have in her love?
Sunset realised that she was crying; she could barely see for the water in her eyes that was streaming down her face. She whimpered as she wept, weeping for the lost promise of her early days and all the good things she had in vain and prideful folly cast aside, things that she had not realised just how much she missed till she discovered that they had passed beyond recall and settled on another.
I have been robbed. While I have been on a journey, Twilight Sparkle has not only burgled my house but taken up residence within it.
Sunset couldn't remain there. With tears in her eyes, she fled, leaving her book behind and all her things as she ran for the door. Lie Ren stood in her way, but with a single hand, she pushed him to the ground and ran on, her boots thudding like drumbeats on the floor as she ran out of the library and into the courtyard. She ran on, hoping to reach her dorm room; she was going to lock herself in the bathroom and, there, hide her shameful weakness from the world.
"Look out!"
She didn't see him until it was too late, she caught a glimpse of the flash of gleaming armour, she felt the cold hard metal as she collided with it, and then suddenly, she and the other person had gone sprawling on the ground together in a tangled heap. Sunset wasn't hurt - her aura was more than sufficient to prevent injuries from such a fall - but as if her pride wasn't injured enough...
"Woah, watch where you- Sunset?"
It was Flash. Of course it was. Of all the people that she could have run into - literally run into - it would have to be Flash Sentry, wouldn't it? She had knocked his books all over the ground, and with a touch of her magic, Sunset gathered them all together into a rough heap so he could pick them up more easily. She didn't want him to demand she stay and help him; she didn't want to stay here for another moment longer. She leapt to her feet and started, eyes still filled with tears, hair askew, towards her dorm room.
"Sunset, wait!" Flash called. "I just… can't we talk for a minute?"
"What do we have to talk about?" Sunset snapped.
"Just because I'm on a team with Cardin and Russell doesn't mean I'm like them," Flash declared. "I want to apologise for the way that they've treated you and your team. It isn't right."
"I don't want to hear it, Flash. I don't have time for this!" Sunset yelled.
"You never want to hear it, that's why- Sunset, are you crying?"
Sunset flinched away from him, hiding her face behind her long, fire-streaked hair, trying to use it like a veil that concealed what he had already set eyes upon. "No."
"Sunset," Flash murmured. He sounded so concerned, and when he used that voice, Sunset was reminded of how she had believed - how she had let herself believe, how she had convinced herself - that he cared about her. "What's the matter? Has something happened? Maybe I can-"
"What?" Sunset yelled. "Maybe you can help me, is that what you were going to say? I don't need your help, Flash. I never needed your help, and you know what, that's a good thing because you never helped me anyway!" Her fury burned in her hotter than the fire in the belly of a dragon, and because she could not burn Princess Twilight Sparkle to a crisp, she vented out her fire upon Flash Sentry. "I don't need you help, and I don't need anything from you! Nothing at all, I never did!" Sunset's whole body shuddered, as if in pain. She was in pain, the pain of all her sorrows wracked her like cramps. "So you… you can take your pity, and you can shove it!” She turned and fled. "Leave me alone, Flash! I'm done with you!"
She ran, heedless of Flash calling her name, until she reached her dorm room. She fumbled with her scroll until the door opened, and she rushed inside. It was empty. Good. She would hide from the others, from every hostile eye and ear - which was all of them - until she was herself again. Until she re-assembled the mask she wore that Twilight Sparkle had shattered with her revelation.
Sunset grabbed the pillow off her bed - knocking that stupid stuffed unicorn to the floor as she did so - and screamed into it, screaming out all the rage and frustration that she had not vented upon Flash Sentry. Robbed, replaced, usurped, humiliated... forgotten by the person who had mattered most to her in all the world, her dreams denied and her possessions given away like things of no account. She screamed her rage and her sorrow both alike; she felt such emotions and so strongly that she was probably attracting half the grimm in Remnant right now, but no matter. Let them come. She'd fight them all, and even if she got gobbled up by a beowolf, at least she wouldn't have to feel like this anymore.
And then she retreated into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her as she hid in there with her tears and her pillow and her rage for company.
Another princess in Equestria. Equestria had another princess and no reason to think of her any longer. Celestia had a new daughter and no reason for care for the prodigal child who had run away from home.
“You're not my mother. I was a fool to ever forget that.”
“It was your choice to make me love you, though it was my choice to believe that you loved me in turn.”
This is so unfair.
There was a knock on the door. “Sunset? Are you okay in there?”
Sunset didn’t reply. She wasn’t okay, she wasn’t anywhere close to being okay, she was so far past okay that she could barely remember what okay felt like… but she wasn’t going to admit it, not to Ruby, or to any of them.
Ruby knocked again. “Sunset…Flash found me-”
“Flash needs to keep his nose out of my business!” Sunset shrieked.
“He was worried about you,” Ruby insisted. “He said that you were… he said that you’d been crying? Is something wrong?”
“Why do you care?” Sunset snapped.
“Because… because you’re my partner,” Ruby said. “And my friend.”
Sunset hesitated. You poor, dumb, naïve kid. And yet, something about the way that Ruby said it… how was it that Ruby Rose could affect her this way, and so easily? She thought it was ridiculous, but she started to get up. She wouldn’t tell her the truth, but maybe-
“Sunset?” Pyrrha asked nervously. “I went and brought your things from the library where you’d left them, in case you didn’t feel like getting them yourself.”
Sunset’s eyes widened. The book! Pyrrha had the book! She might even have read it, and if she had… if she had, then she’d know all of Sunset’s secrets, she’d know exactly why Sunset was so upset.
Sunset leapt to her feet; a cold sweat descended down her back as it attempted to douse the fresh-aroused fires of anger that leapt up within her gut. Pyrrha had the book. Pyrrha had her book. Pyrrha had taken her book, her special book, her connection to Celestia! Yes, Celestia had given away her end to Princess Twilight Sparkle, but that didn’t mean it was okay for Pyrrha to go around taking Sunset’s stuff!
Sunset threw open the door and snatched the journal out of Pyrrha’s hands before she could take a step backwards. “Did you read it?” she demanded.
“Sunset-”
“Did you read it?” Sunset snarled.
“No, I-”
“Good. Don’t,” Sunset snapped, shouldering past Pyrrha and Ruby and depositing the journal under her bed. “And don’t touch any of the rest of my stuff, okay? It’s mine, it’s private. If I want to go and get it back out of the library, I will, and if I want to leave it there, then I’ll do that too!”
“Sunset, Pyrrha was just trying to help,” Ruby said reproachfully. “What’s really going on?”
Sunset took a deep breath. “What’s really going on?” she repeated. Where to even start. “What’s really going on?” She looked at Pyrrha. Everything about that Invincible Girl was enraging to Sunset right now, from the milksop look on the pretty face to the reputation that hung around her shoulders like a cape, to the circlet gleaming on her brow that looked far, far too much like a crown for Sunset’s liking. In Sunset’s mind, she didn’t just see Pyrrha Nikos but Twilight Sparkle too, the mare who had come from behind to take away everything that Sunset had ever wanted, everything that ought to have been hers, everything that had been promised to by fate: her destiny.
“You know what’s really going on?” Sunset shouted. “You know what the problem is? The problem is you! You are the most ungrateful person I have ever met; do you even realise how lucky you are?”
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Pyrrha began.
“Oh, I bet you don’t, you really don’t get it, do you?” Sunset snarled. “You have hordes of admirers hanging off your every word, you get followed by glances and whispers wherever you go, and you’re a subject of press coverage and gossip magazine speculation! You have fame, glory, celebrity, you have everything that anyone could ever wish for-”
“Is that what you think?” Pyrrha demanded.
“Um, guys-” Ruby began.
“Of course it’s what I think! It’s the truth!” Sunset snapped. “You’ve got everything that everyone wants - you’ve got everything that I want - but do you appreciate it? Do you? No, you don’t! You act like it’s such a burden to be loved by so many-”
“They don’t love me!” Pyrrha cried, her voice cracking with anguish. “Is that… is that what you call love? I haven’t had a single meaningful relationship with anyone who wasn’t my mother in my entire life. I haven’t had the chance to form any because I’m constantly being put on a pedestal that separates me from the people who put me there-”
“Oh, boo hoo!” Sunset said, her lips curling into a sneer. “Go cry into your trophy cabinet and take a look at the crown you stole from me while you’re at it!” She halted, if only for a moment. Why did I just… who am I talking to here?
“Do you think any of the people who ask for my autographs really know me?” Pyrrha asked. “Or that they even want to? I don’t have any friends-”
“So what?” Sunset demanded. “Friends are overrated.”
“That’s enough!” Ruby cried. “Sunset… why are you acting like this? We’re a team. Pyrrha’s your teammate. What’s wrong with you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me! It’s the world that’s wrong!” Sunset yelled. Wow, even to me, that sounded arrogant. “I mean… you couldn’t possibly understand how I’m feeling right now.” She stalked over to the door. “I just hate it when great gifts are given to those who don’t want or deserve them.” She slammed the dorm room door behind her as she left.
She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew that she couldn’t stay there.
Ruby clasped her hands together. She felt so helpless right now. She didn’t know what to say to Pyrrha, and certainly not to Sunset. She looked from the door, which Sunset had just slammed behind her, to Pyrrha, who sat down heavily upon her bed and sighed. She bowed her head, and she looked so sad that Ruby was desperate to do something to help her, even if she didn’t know exactly what to do or say.
“Pyrrha?” she murmured.
Pyrrha was silent for a moment. “I suppose… I was far too optimistic about coming to Beacon.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought… I thought that maybe here was a place where I could escape my fame and find… but it seems that my reputation has followed me here, for good and ill.”
Ruby frowned. “For whatever it's worth, what you said isn’t quite true.”
Pyrrha looked at her. “I don’t understand.”
“You said that you didn’t have any friends,” Ruby said. “But… you’ve got me, and Jaune. We’re not just your teammates. We’re your friends, and we’ve got your back through thick and thin.”
Pyrrha continued to look at Ruby. Abruptly, she rose to her feet, and crossed the distance between them. Ruby squeaked in surprise as the taller girl enfolded her in a well-toned hug, pressing Ruby’s head against the bronze and leather of Pyrrha’s cuirass. “Thank you, Ruby Rose, shepherd of the people,” Pyrrha murmured. “That… that means a great deal.” Ruby felt Pyrrha’s hand moving through her hair. “Do you have any idea what could have caused Sunset to behave so... strangely?”
“No,” Ruby replied, looking up into Pyrrha’s face. “What makes you think I’d know?”
“You are closer to her than either Jaune or I,” Pyrrha said. “Or at least, Sunset appears to like you better than either Jaune or I, for reasons which she has partly explained now, I suppose.”
“I’m sure that she…” Ruby trailed off. “I don’t know. I don’t really get people. That’s why I prefer weapons where you can tell what the problem is and fix it with an armorer’s wrench.” Her silver eyes widened. “But I know who does get people!” Ruby cried, as she pulled herself free of Pyrrha’s embrace and took her teammate by the hand. “Come on!” She led - or rather dragged - Pyrrha across the hall, where she knocked loudly on the door.
After a moment, the door was opened by Lie Ren. “Ruby, Pyrrha,” he said equably. “Is Sunset okay? She seemed a little… agitated earlier today.”
“Uh, yeah, about that,” Ruby muttered. “Is Yang here? Is it okay if we come in?”
“Of course,” Ren said, with only a trace of reluctance. “What difference do two more make?”
They only understood what he meant when he stepped aside to admit them into the Team YRDN dorm room, revealing that - in addition to the four members of the team - the room was also playing host to Lyra and Bon Bon of Team BLBL.
“Hey, Ruby! Pyrrha,” Yang greeted them with a wave as she got up off her bed. “You’re just in time to see Dove here on a double date.”
“It’s not a double date!” Lyra protested indignantly. “We’re just friends hanging out.”
Yang smirked. “I know, but it’s too much fun to tease you about it.” She strolled up to Ruby and Pyrrha. “I’d offer you something to eat, but it appears that putting Nora and Lyra in the same room equals an impromptu eating contest.”
“I’ll get you next time, Lyra Heartstrings!” Nora cried.
“So,” Yang said, putting her hands upon her hips. “What can I do for you both?”
“How do you know I didn’t come over to hang out with you?” Ruby demanded.
“Because you brought Pyrrha,” Yang pointed out.
“Oh. Right.”
“And Pyrrha... looks kind of shook up,” Yang added. “Is everything okay?”
“Not really,” Ruby admitted. “Something happened, and we don’t…” she hesitated, glancing at Dove, Lyra, and Bon Bon.
“You can trust us!” Bon Bon assured her. “We’re all friends here, right? And who knows, maybe we can help?”
“Maybe,” Ruby said. With Sunset acting so irrationally, we can probably use all the help we can get. “So... we don’t understand what happened, but it’s like this…”
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...that went about as well as I expected.
>SAPR
do you even know how terrified you just made me?
9154153
....her talks with Cinder are gonna be fun~
Man I can't wait for the rest of the team to break through sunset's shell. though given how important that will be we probubly wont see that till the end of one of the seasons. so wonder if Twilight is going to ask Celestia about who Sunset is.
9163358
I honestly didn't know that it stood for that (or anything else) when I uploaded the story.
9163404
funny coincidence then
Nah, I was mostly kidding, but yeah, in the military we have to sit through like a bazillion SAPR training classes, and they're almost always what we call "death by powerpoint". SAPR training has become somewhat of a bogeyman among military servicemembers due to the fact that literally everyone HATES having to sit through it.
Can't say I ever cared all that much about RWBY. If it wasn't for my little sister fangirling over it so hard she binged like... 10 seasons worth in a few weeks, and forcing me to watch some, I'd know even less. I think it was mostly the art style that I was meh about.
That being said, I'm interested in how Miss 10-tons of baggage will come out of all this. Keep up the good work so far.
The distortions of Sunset's perspective are interesting. She explicitly prefers the adoration of strangers over friendship. Does she really want that, having realistically considered what it would be like? What does she want?
Will she understand how absurd it is to blame Pyrrha for Sunset's own envy, or is she not ready for that horrid revelation just yet? She clearly understands on some level that she's being unreasonable, and something's wrong with her, but when confronted she just blusters. Ironically, being alone having had this debacle is probably one of her better possible opportunities for personal growth.
9163985
Sunny is one of those few characters that seek the adulation in strangers, and is deeply envious of others who have, but actually has had personal experience with what that sort of adulation is like. She doesn’t want what she doesn’t know, but what she gave up to chase a higher goal. Well, not higher in morality anyway.
9164076
I have a hard time wrapping my head around that aspect of her character. It's far enough from anything I've felt that I don't think I have a good reference for how it feels to be Sunset Shimmer. Maybe I can construct one.
I'm very proud of it when I do clever technical things that solve problems. People appreciate it, and because I am proud of it, I'm sometimes grouchy if they ignore such a solution, especially in favor of something less functional. In my case, the people whose opinion I'm sensitive to are people I already know well, but I could pretend that they were strangers instead, and that "clever technical things" was actually the entire reason I expected anyone to have an opinion about me, and that I always did brilliant things, instead of the mixed bag which is more realistic.
Then I would see everyone around me as constantly benefiting from my mere existence, and I would constantly want them to acknowledge my greatness. If they did not, I would feel confused and resentful, and if they did, I would feel rewarded by it. Perhaps that is a good approximation to how Sunset feels.
Sunset's meltdown was kinda inevitable, but at least Ruby proved she is a sweet cinnamon roll that most be protected.
9163496
Yeah had a good laugh when I saw the title - even showed it to a couple friends in my shop
Celestia really fucked up there. I hope Sunset is able to make it without any help from Equestria.
I don't need you help and I don't
1. Your.
If I was in Sunset's shoes, I would probably think that Pyrrha was being a pissant too.
Big. Fuckin. Oof...
And finally, Sunset shows her true fire
Other than Sunset perhaps being brought to her lowest here (probably, anyways), I don't have much more to reflect on here. A solid chapter of a decisive event with drama that brings the question of resolution. If that sounds utterly plain, that's because it is. Once this gets resolved, it doesn't get brought up again, and perhaps I don't see much of a reason it would need to be other than to point out how far Sunset had come (and even then, it's not entirely fair since I doubt anyone but Sunset knows about Twilight inadvertently instigating it, and Sunny's probably not keen to let anyone know.)
Still, it's good to remember reading roots, and I still find it a satisfying read. I'd say enjoyable, but I'm not sure I want to say I enjoy Sunset's misery.
I love this
So much
Next step is getting Pinkie to meet Nora and we have a full house
we might have a shortage of sugar though
10384369 Oh dear. That sounds... Explosive.
I was expecting this would happen sooner or later, thought I believed Jaune would be present.
Which means there will be another scene like this, but aimed at the poor bastard.
This is significantly worse with recent context…
And damnit, this still makes me cry. Oh Sunset, you are an amazing character
Damn, that breakdown hurt.