• Published 31st Jul 2012
  • 2,772 Views, 143 Comments

Huge Mistake - MIKEANTHONY321



Rainbow and Flash's relationship is put in peril when he finds out she had cheated on him.

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In too Deep

It wasn’t exactly quiet and peaceful that night. As luna’s moon hovered high above the skies of Equestria, things were happening here and there at Rainbow Dash’s household.

Starlight laid in her bed, wide awake and petrified over the noises that rang through her ears from the kitchen. Rustling noises.

Blaze heard it too, but had a totally different approach toward it. He had to go check it out.

He creaked open his bedroom door, and the rustling paused, noticing the sound. Soon later, it started back up again.

Entering stealth-mode, Blaze crept out the hall and by the living room. He glanced over to the kitchen, and saw an alien-like turquoise illumination.

He tiptoed over to the living room table, and grabbed Rainbow’s old porn magazine. He rolled it up, and was prepared to use it as a weapon.

Holding the rolled up magazine, he slowly crept toward the kitchen. As he got closer, he heard a crunching noise.

He quickly flipped on the light, and saw his baby brother stealing out of the pantry and eating some snacks.

Blaze bursted out with amazement.

“How the heck are you eating adult food already?!” He exclaimed loudly.

Game over. His family was officially awake now.

Starlight, Rainbow and Flash, frazzled, quickly came into the living room to see what was going on.

“What, what is it?” Flash asked anxiously.

Blaze pointed to the foal, and stuttered. “Just yesterday that foal was feeding off of mom, and now he’s eating my last chocolate-chip cookie!”

Rainbow blushed at his remark.

Flash’s face changed from an expression of surprise to bewilderment.

“You’re right, that is strange. Here, get out of the way.” He ordered.

Blaze stepped aside as Flash picked up the foal.

In Flash’s grasp, the foal tried to reach for his cookie, and began to cry.

Flash turned the foal around, and examined his mouth. He observed two teeth that were fully grown in the foal’s mouth.

“Holy crap...” He stuttered.

“What, what is it?” Rainbow asked.

“Your supernatural foal already has two teeth!” Flash answered.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened. “Within 48 hours of birth? That can’t be right...”

Flash shrugged. “Maybe you should discuss it with the doctor!” He suggested.

He handed the foal to Rainbow Dash. Once in her hooves, the foal immediately stopped crying.

“I think he likes mom better than you, dad.” Blaze observed.

“Well duh. You’re the one who said he was feeding off her yesterday.” Flash responded.

“Well hopefully this little pantry incident means I won’t have to feed him anymore.” Rainbow added.

Starlight yawned. “Let’s worry about it in the morning.”

….............................................

Despite being up at twilight the previous night, Blaze had gotten up early, and was drawing. He drew a lot, and was beginning to get really good at it.

Outside his door, he heard off-rhythm hoofsteps, telling him it was his mother.

“Hey Blaze? It’s almost time for breakfast, so you might want to join us in the kitchen. What are you doing?” She asked.

“I’m drawing a picture of you.” Blaze responded.

Rainbow was amused. “Oh really? Let’s see it!”

Blaze put his crayon down, and picked up his picture. He turned it around, and showed it to Rainbow Dash.

“...Wow, that’s not what I expected to see at all...” She stuttered.

“Isn’t it cool?” He asked enthusiastically.

“What’s up with the website url at the bottom?” She asked.

“Oh, that? I just put it there to make it look cool.”

Rainbow slowly nodded. “Uh huh...interesting.”

Rainbow turned and limped out of Blaze’s room, and Blaze followed.

Once they were in the kitchen, Blaze saw Flash, Starlight and the foal also there, awaiting breakfast.

Blaze wanted them to see his picture, so he ran back to his room to get it.

“Did you guys really expect me to cook for all of you?” Rainbow asked.

“Well, it’s your turn. I did it yesterday.” Flash responded.

Rainbow sighed, and limped toward the pantry for ingredients.

Suddenly, Blaze burst back into the room. “Hey dad! Check out this awesome picture I drew for mom!”

Blaze held the picture up for Flash to see.

“Wow...”

“Yeah, I know!”

Rainbow looked up from her work. “Wait, you drew that picture FOR me?”

“Yeah, why?”

Rainbow couldn’t help but smile, and she chuckled a little.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing, that’s the thing. The picture is REALLY good. I actually wanted it hung up in my room. It doesn’t quite display my pure awesomeness though...”

Everyone in the room laughed, even the foal.

“Hey dad?” Starlight asked.

“Hmm?”

The foal has five teeth now.”

“WHAT?” The whole room said simultaneously.

Flash quickly leaned over and opened the foal’s mouth. Sure enough, five pearly-whites were poking in through the foal’s gums.

Flash sighed. “How can this be possible...”

Rainbow spoke up from the frying pan. “I read that Princess Celestia, Luna and Cadence all had full sets of teeth before they were a year old. And they’re alicorns.”

“Yeah, but look! The foal has no wings!” Flash exclaimed in reply.

Rainbow just shrugged. “The pancakes are done, if anyone wants any.”

Rainbow set a big plate of steaming hot pancakes on the table. Next to it, she placed a bottle of maple syrup.

The group at the table helped themselves, taking what they wanted from the plate. Flash tore up a pancake into small pieces, and gave them to the foal.

“Where did you read that information anyway?” He asked.

“The internet. Where else?” She responded.

“What website?”

“Wikipedia.”

“Ah, so it is true.”

….........................................................

That afternoon, Blaze sat in the living room watching Family Colt with the foal. Not long after, Flash walked into the room.

He turned his attention to the living room, and saw what Blaze was watching.

“Blaze, you can’t watch this in front of the foal!”

“Why not?”

“It’s full of sex and profanity. Nothing a little foal should be watching.”

As he said this, he walked into the room to pick up the foal. Suddenly, he reeled back and yelled out in shock.

“What is it?!” Blaze asked, startled.

“The foal, he has wings!!!” Flash yelled again.

Blaze looked at the foal. “Oh man...”

THE END


Author Notes:

I am so sorry about this, but I keep getting more ideas. If I continued with this, it would get too off-topic. The plot for this story was that Rainbow cheated on Flash, and it turned out with all negative results. So to continue the story, I have to write a fourth sequel. I’ll see you all then!

Comments ( 34 )

Yikes!:pinkiegasp: the foal is an Alicorn:applejackunsure: can't wait for the sequal now:eeyup:

YAY! More of this! I like! :twilightsmile:

1290988

I'm glad you're enjoying my story! :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

YOU, SIR, ARE SO AWESOME!!!:rainbowkiss: Amazing story. Can't WAIT for next one!!

This is goin crazy ill be waiting


1294144>>1293111>>1290988>>1290782

Just after I uploaded that last chapter, my sister found a picture that looks like this:
ih2.redbubble.net/image.12159588.4182/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg
That is just too creepy! :pinkiecrazy:

1437938

I love people like you who do a lot of commenting! :pinkiehappy:

1438038

Your very welcome and thank you. I loved all of your story's and sequels it was brilliant I spend a day and a half and read them all, my time well spend :D Tom P:twilightsmile: there will be more comments by me with more chapters coming I can't wait :pinkiehappy:

T.peters

DUN, DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN.:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Awseom ending

:rainbowlaugh: couldn't stop laughing at the picture :rainbowlaugh:
There should have been in bold capitols the word 'SPLAT

1830264

No, Starlight does not yet have her cutie mark. And unfortunately, she won't be getting it for the remainder of the series. :fluttershyouch:

1879974

Well, I don't play Phoenix Wright, but I know a litlle about him. :pinkiesmile:

2918605

Thanks you! I'm glad you like it! :pinkiehappy:

Aaaaannnddd cliffhanger :applejackconfused:

ALICORN SPAWN!?! FUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Soarin? HE MUST BE HALF ALICAWN. OR THE ONLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION IS.....
...
...
...*realizes and eyes go wide as hell*
FUCK.
ME.


I'm loving this SO MUCH!!! Keep going!

3283785

You're in luck! There is one more sequel to this series. After that, I never really had the chance to continue. All stories have to end somewhere, right? :pinkiesmile:

3409874

That could be good or bad. I'll take it as good. :pinkiehappy:

3968406

Sometimes, reading to the very last word is all you need to answer your questions. :trollestia:

3968561

I'm a royally f***ed up person, man. Cut me some slack. :rainbowlaugh:
I've been on the verge of clopfic-writing multiple times. :rainbowderp:

4116046

Eh. :applejackunsure: The whole story was a great big improvisation. Didn't plan anything out ahead of time. :rainbowlaugh:

for narniaaaa!!!!! :flutterrage:

5579065
I take it you're enjoying this. :twilightsheepish:

5579111 meh i was sorta being random :derpytongue2: can't say i aprove of the rainbow cheeting on flsh thing. i honestly would have had her do the abortion

OK. The most gargantuan thing I disagree with, that totally annihilated my interest, was the main argument. Seriously, Dash just cheated, got impregnated, even goes back to the guy who she cheated with and got knocked up by, and the whole thing manages to blow off with Dash being an absolute c*nt, and Flash feeling like he's the one who messed up. And to top it all off, the thing ALL of Dash's shite behavior gets blamed on afterwards? Mood swings. No. Just no.
In my opinion, it would have been incredibly more interesting and believeable for Flash to file for divorce, see who gets custody of the children (I vote Flash), and then view how the characters cope with the fallout (perhaps Flash being a single parent, Dash losing her kids/family, etc). The way things play out in the the original story just seem so impossibly unlikely. I'd almost say that it looks like you wanted an extremely serious subject matter to have a happy ending or some silver lining, which I can respect, but I really think you simply went about the wrong way of orchestrating it.
The dialogue and character interaction felt really awkward too. Flash, a full grown adult, setting off firecrackers as a "prank" so Dash will open her door? What? And then Dash making her own daughter cry, and proceed to yell at her kids to practically sod off because she doesn't care anymore? Which while I consider revolting, and a bit OOC, I can almost side with her on that point though; the little guys are terribly annoying and seem to possess enough of an uncanny amount of intelligence and foresight to just prod the plot along.

7344806
I have to agree with everything you just said there. I often look back at the stories nowadays and cringe. I remember having an EXTREME lack of direction when writing these, much like how a lot of new authors do when they write self-inserts. The only reason I haven't taken them down is that they have a ton of surprising popularity. "A Wish in Reality" has over 20,000 views and a lot of favorites, for example, so I just leave these stories up. I hope my primitive mistakes here don't taint my overall image as an author to you. :pinkiesad2:

7345281 Nah, for the most part you're good.
So if you could redo the story using the skills you have now, what kind of direction would you see it taking considering the "Rainbow Dash cheats on _________ " theme?

7345382
I would see divisions that last at least several stories. That way, there wouldn't be a single story ending with an unnecessary happy ending. There would be more suspense, and there wouldn't ever be a guarantee that everything gets better.

shouldn't this story be a sequel to "A Wish in Reality." not "bad luck"

7556210
When I went to the settings for Bad Luck, I filled out the "sequels" section with all three stories, since all three are technically sequels to the same original. Then the texts popped up on the stories saying they were sequels. :scootangel:

7559741
also you should check back on some of your older chapters, some of the pictures are gone.

V8

7559741
Soarin's stupidest moments

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