• Published 18th Aug 2018
  • 14,268 Views, 2,147 Comments

The Infestation of Equiss Prime - Jest



The queen of blades has launched her newest weapon, a ship designed to infest an entire planet in secret. Unfortunatly for her, this ship vanished after launch and crash landed on a distant world filled with colorful ponies.

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A Velvet Scalpel

“Ahh, Silver Scalpel and Velvet Touch, please come in!” Celestia exclaimed, gesturing to the open chairs across from her.

The two ponies paused in the doorway, unused to seeing Celestia’s study so barren. The usual displays of knick knacks and random historical items were all gone, replaced by flat white walls and an open, empty area. Even Celestia’s usually cluttered desk was almost completely devoid of paperwork or random objects, only two neat stacks labeled ‘in’ and ‘out’ were left. Most of the colors in the room seemed to have been stripped away, leaving behind only the stark white marble and the red and gold window coverings.

“Gotten into minimalism I see,” Silver Scalpel remarked as she sat across from the princess.

“It certainly feels bigger…” Velvet Touch added, the mare taking a seat next to her partner before looking around the comparatively empty room.

“Yes, well, it was about time I cleaned up this place and put the non-essential items in storage,” Celestia replied dismissively, before tapping her desk. “I assume you have brought your final report as requested?”

Silver Scalpel scowled, but produced a slim manilla folder regardless, placing it on the desk in front of the alicorn. “I’m telling you right now, this is a mistake.”

“Your concerns have been noted,” Celestia replied simply, the alicorn flipping through the folder before nodding and placing it in the ‘in’ stack to her left. “Everything seems to be in order.”

“Celestia, if I may,” Velvet Touch piped up.

The alicorn nodded. “Yes, what is it, Velvet Touch?”

“Though I agree with Silver, I’m curious as to why you are scrapping the entire project so suddenly,” Velvet remarked.

“Yeah, and right when we were starting to really figure this thing out as well,” Silver added.

Celestia sighed and steepled her hooves before her. “Though I regret not being able to continue this program, it had its issues that could not be ignored. For starters the costs associated have ballooned out of control.”

“If we didn't have so much damn security that wouldn't be a problem,” Silver Scalpel growled.

“And if your team would stop leaking things to the press or the great houses for so much as a single day, they wouldn't be necessary,” Celestia shot back.

“I don't think that's completely fair,” Velvet Touch interrupted, interposing herself between the alicorn and the unicorn. “They are under a lot of stress. A few bad apples shouldnt ruin it for us all.”

“Yeah!” Silver shouted, slamming her hoof on the desk. “You’ve fired and rehired nearly my entire staff at this point, surely you’ve weeded out all of them by now.”

Celestia slowly raised an eyebrow. “You really don't know, do you?”

“Know what?” Silver Scalpel asked.

Shaking her head, Celestia opened a drawer, rifling through a few folders before grabbing a rather hefty-looking one and slamming it on the desk. “This.”

“And what is this anyway?” Velvet Touch inquired, the mare sitting a little taller in order to see all the writing on the folder.

“This is a record of every single leak in both of your departments,” Celestia declared, tapping the top of the folder. “There have been over six hundred and thirty-two succesful or attempted leaks.” The mare shook her head slowly. “Calling it a department isn't even accurate anymore, they are more like sieves than anything.”

“I…” Velvet Touch gulped. “Are there really that many?”

Celestia nodded and opened the folder. “It took three days for the first leak to happen, and since then there’s only been a single month where you have gone without a leak and it was directly after I was forced to try Beaker for treason against the crown.”

“Woah,” muttered Velvet Touch, who watched as Celestia flipped through the folder.

“Silver Scalpel, did you know your second-in-command is implicated in over thirty seperate leaks?” Celestia pressed.

“That's impossible,” declared Silver. “Graduated is a fine stallion, and does good work.”

“That doesn't mean he hasn't also directly overseen the leaking of over five hundred and ninety pages of classified information,” Celestia stated, before closing the file and tucking it back away in her desk.

“So there have been a few leaks, what does it matter?” Silver announced.

“Silver,” Velvet Touch hissed.

“What? It's true. We’re a research division working on a potential cure to a plague that could wipe out all life on the planet. The more information that is out there the greater the chance that someone else is able to crack this thing wide open and help us all,” Silver exclaimed, throwing up her hooves.

Celestia tapped her hoof impatiently against the desk. “Are you done?”

“Yes,” Silver declared.

“Let me tell you what your leaking has done, and when I’m done if you still think it was worth it, I’ll admit defeat,” Celestia replied.

The alicorn stood before anyone could mutter a word and walked over to the window. “A mother and child in Ponyville were burnt alive in their homes because it was assumed they were infected.”

“That's ridiculous, we said the infection was-” Silver began, only for Celestia to shoot her a glare so strong that she closed her mouth on reflex.

“I will not be interrupted,” Celestia stated before turning back to the window. “And that was only one such event, there have been over thirty-two known attempts on the lives of innocents, some which have been unfortunately successful. Most of which have been burnt alive, sometimes locked in their own homes. Do you know why this has happened, Silver Scalpel?”

The mare gulped. “N-no.”

“Several years ago, one of your reports that suggested fire as a potential weapon against the infection was leaked. Since then it’s been spread amongst the population, whom have used it as justification to immolate their very neighbors.” Celestia turned to the mare, glaring down at her. “Do you still think it’s worth it?”

“Well, I…” Silver Scalpel breathed deeply and nodded. “If it ends up saving us all from a viral apocalypse, then it's regrettable, but not the worst possible outcome.”

“Silver Scalpel, how could you say that?” Velvet Touch asked in shock.

“We are weighing the lives of every known creature on this planet, anything less than genocide is not enough to be truly weighted against that,” Silver Scalpel justified.

“Do you think you could do it? Could you board the windows of your neighbor’s house, lay the kindling on her doorstep and light the match?” Celestia asked, turning back to the mare and trotting towards her. “Could you hold true to your justification as you watched the flesh melt off the body of a child no older than five? A child, whom had not done anything to deserve it save to be born with a minor genetic mutation that made her skin a little harder and her hair slightly thinner?”

“I uh, well I’d never-” Silver sputtered.

“Could you? Would you be able to watch her single mother as she desperately shielded her foal with her own body, hoping against hope that the fire would burn out before her progeny perished?” Celestia continued, stepping closer and towering over the other mare.

“I…” The mare looked down. “I couldn't.”

“Unless you yourself are capable of committing every atrocity that is a result of your actions, do not speak to me of whether or not it is ‘worth it’.” Celestia spat before stepping back and sitting back down. “There have been many other effects of the leaks, such as a certain faction claiming unicorns are not affected, and using that to justify racism and bigotry, but I think I’ve made my point.”

“Yes, you have,” Velvet replied as she rubbed her partner’s back while she looked down at the ground.

“Furthermore, my efforts are required elsewhere, and budget concerns have been raised. The funds would better be spent on other projects,” Celestia added.

“What about Twilight’s mental status? Is someone else going to be keeping an eye on her?” Velvet Touch asked as she rubbed Silver’s back in slow circles.

“I will,” Celestia declared. “I’ve studied your work, and taken some time to study recent advances in psychology. Though my doctorate is over a hundred years old at this point, I believe I have caught up with the modern times enough to do an adequate job.”

“Wait, you have a doctorate in psychology?” Velvet muttered.

Celestia nodded. “I’ve studied a good majority of modern sciences over the years, and though I don't like to mention it, I’ve gained around a dozen doctorates in various fields over the millenia. Though a few of those are useless considering modern advances.” The alicorn shook her head. “The point is, I will be taking over this duty, and slotting it into my daily lessons. It is my belief that a more natural approach to monitoring her will work better.”

“I don't know about that,” Velvet Touch began, retracting her hoof from her partner’s shoulder now that she was sitting straight once more. “The more professional setting helps to calm most patients and allow a deeper understanding of their ills.”

“If they could not read your mind and know exactly what conclusions you are drawing from what they are saying,” Celestia countered.

“I don't think that's wholly fair,” Velvet Touch stated.

“It isn't, but it is just how things are now, I’m afraid,” Celestia replied. “Twilight has remarked on more than one occasion that she has lied to you when she knows you will think ill of her if she spoke the truth.”

Velvet Touch winced and rubbed one foreleg with the other. “I did remember those reports, though I had hoped we had worked past it.”

“Look, Velvet,” Celestia whispered, reaching across the table and taking the mare’s hoof in her own. “You did fantastically for nearly a decade and have no doubt significantly assisted in her mental stability, but I simply don't have the time or the funds necessary for you to carefully rebuild that trust. Twilight trusts me implicitly, and it's simply easier for me to take over this duty, though it pains me to let you two go in the process.”

Velvet Touch sighed and shrugged off the other mare’s grip. “I suppose you are right, Princess,” she conceded. “It's just sad to go out like this. I really felt like she was more a friend than a patient.”

“And Twilight has said something similar as well.” Celestia sighed. “Just not lately, I’m afraid.”

“I guess it's for the best then,” Velvet Touch murmured, turning to her partner and gently touching her shoulder. “Come on, Silver, we should go.”

“No,” Silver declared suddenly, sitting up as straight as possible. “This isn't right. Even with the leaks, and the other… issues. I don't think the correct response is to destroy all our laboratory equipment and mothball the entire thing.”

“I can appreciate that this news is unpleasant, but I assure you there is little I can do at this point. The order is given, and is being carried out as we speak,” Celestia replied calmly.

Silver stood up and slammed her hoof against the desk. “Bullshit! We could have used that equipment. I could have used the possibility of being able to include this on my resume. Velvet could have used the chance to get her Ph.D.!”

“It's fine dear, I’ve already got another study I’ve been working-” Velvet Touch tried to interrupt.

“But you shouldn't have to,” Silver shot back, her mane flying as she turned on the other unicorn. “You had committed almost a decade of your life to looking after a hoofful of patients. You should be able to use that experience.”

“If bits are your primary concern, you should know that won’t be an issue,” Celestia explained. “Though it is lamentable that you are not able to directly advertise what you’ve done, working directly under the crown on a secret project you are not allowed to speak of is a form of recognition in its own right and although I can't comment on your work, I can tell any future employers what a good job you did.”

“Celestia is right,” Velvet Touch added quickly. “Though it may not be the best outcome, that doesn't mean it's all bad. I could work in that orphanage we visited the other week. You could work in the children’s hospital without having to worry about the pay cut.”

“I know that's a possibility, but we shouldn't have to change our dreams, our aspirations in the first place,” Silver Scalpel declared, sitting back in her chair. “This entire thing feels wrong.”

“Be that as it may, it's already done and if that is all, I would ask that you return home and plan the next phase of your lives,” Celestia exclaimed.

“Come on, Silver, we better go,” Velvet Touch remarked, standing up and turning to the door.

“Wait, there is just one last thing I wanted to talk about before this chapter of our lives is closed for good,” Silver Scalpel interrupted, catching her partner on the shoulder.

“Go ahead, Silver,” Celestia invited. “I owe you at least some closing remarks.”

The mare nodded and set her jaw. “I have just one last question, namely, what do you intend to do with the subject?”

“Excuse me?” Celestia replied, forehooves pressing tightly against one another.

“Silver Scalpel, this is not the time,” Velvet Touch hissed, grabbing the mare’s shoulder.

“No, I’m serious. She represents a risk we cannot ignore, even you have to realize this,” Silver Scalpel pressed, the mare looking up at the alicorn intensely.

“What exactly are you implying, Silver Scalpel?” Celestia whispered harshly, her voice low and gaining an almost menacing edge to it.

Though intimidated, Silver Scalpel didn't give up, the mare rising from her seat. “I mean to ask what your plans are for it. No matter how you want to frame it, she represents a risk that no one can afford to take.”

“That’s enough, Silver, now come on we-” Velvet touch interrupted, only to be silenced by Celestia raising a gentle hoof.

“No, I want Silver to finish her thought. Tell us what you really want to say,” Celestia invited, an obviously fake smile spreading across her face. “We are all friends here, after all.”

“Look. I won't try and pretend like I have the moral high ground here, but you cannot deny that this thing has the very real chance of turning into a global pandemic. No matter your feelings on the matter, it represents a risk that is connected to the creatures harassing the farmers out there in the wastes,” Silver continued, growing bolder with each word.

“Those tests were inconclusive and unsubstantiated,” Celestia shot back. “The inability to take a subject alive means that any and all genetic studies will be useless due to the rapid degradation.”

“But what we have managed to gather is more than enough to indicate that they share a disturbing amount of genetic similarities and that's without even considering the other things they have in common,” Silver Scalpel replied.

“And what, pray tell, does a mere child have in common with ravenous beasts?” Celestia asked calmly, her gaze fixed unblinkingly to Silver’s.

“Oh, you know I didn't mean anything personal with that,” Silver replied.

“Than what did you really mean then?” Celestia responded.

“They adapt quickly, they are more aggressive than most animals and they are the only species, or group of species that have been shown to have the capability to replicate your student’s psionic abilities,” Silver declared.

Velvet Touch chewed on her hoof nervously as she looked back and forth from mortal to immortal, unable to muster a word.

“Though they have a passing similarity, one has been changed and afflicted by a sort of parasite. The other seems to be a collective group of creatures following the will of some yet unknown master,” Celestia remarked dismissively. “Though they have similar abilities, they diverge too much for a comparison to be reliably drawn between them.”

Silver Scalpel scoffed. “It is enough that they are both psionic or at least receptive to psionics to prove a link. It is not a skill that any native Equiss species has exhibited.”

“Over a third of the species on our very planet have yet to be fully studied,” Celestia countered, waving away the mare’s concern. “And that is without considering the very real possibility that changelings operate in a psionically linked hivemind.”

“Changelings haven't even been proven to exist at all,” Silver Scalpel fired back, leaning forward on the alicorn’s desk. “All we have to prove they are real is a few firsthoof accounts and a single dismembered hoof that is too badly damaged to gain any meaningful information from.”

Celestia scoffed. “You cannot be serious, you actually believe such a conspiracy theory? I was there, I have witnessed what they leave in their wake and fought them firsthoof!”

“Conspiracy theory? Is that what you think the complete lack of scientific evidence is?” Silver scoffed right back, shaking her head. “I’ll give you a conspiracy theory. Like how you are funding those rebels out in the wastes!”

“I have done no such thing and they are not rebels. They are a province like any other,” Celestia replied dismissively.

“Yeah, sure, which is why they don't pay taxes and don't have an elected official in parliament,” Silver countered.

“But I thought they were exempt from taxes due to their continued struggles with the zerg,” Velvet Touch interrupted, drawing the ire of her partner and an appreciative nod from Celestia.

“That they are, Velvet Touch,” Celestia agreed. “Their last elected official was killed by a group of zerg on her last trip to the capital and as they are currently embroiled in a deadly struggle against said zerg, they are not in a good place to elect a new one.”

“The death toll has yet to even hit the hundreds!” Silver Scalpel shouted. “How is it even an emergency if more ponies have been killed by gangs in Manehattan in the last year than have perished on the frontier since this entire thing began?”

“Because that report you are citing has chosen to not include the missing, who were either abducted or were more than likely eaten,” Celestia deadpanned.

Silver Scalpel sat back in her chair with a thump, the mare shaking her head. “I still don't think this is right. At a time when we should be figuring out as much as we can, you are shuttering the leading researchers.”

“I’m shuttering an inefficient team unable to stop the constant leak of highly classified government documents and redirecting those funds elsewhere,” Celestia clarified. “Saying that I have stopped researching this new foe because I’m closing one lab is like saying you’ve stopped doing the dishes forever because you ignored them for a day.”

“You must understand how one might see it that way, can't you?” Velvet Touch intercepted. “Despite the leaks, their effectiveness was proven.”

“Oh, I understand where she's coming from, but what I wonder is if Miss Scalpel can grasp why I would not want a team that leaks as much as hers had.” Celestia steepled her hooves. “As far as we know, the zerg are smarter than we realize and are aware of how far we’ve come in researching their physiology.”

“I-!” Silver began, only for her jaw to hang open. “I never…”

“Never considered that on top of killing entire families that you also may very well have been handing information to the very enemy on our doorstep. One that you yourself claimed to be a potential world-ending threat of pandemic proportions?” Celestia finished, her features firm and her jaw set.

“Y-yeah…” Silver Scalpel murmured softly.

“Ponies sometimes ask me what benefits immortality has, and one thing I always tell them is perspective,” Celestia began, her tone losing some of the edge it had only moments earlier. “We considered yaks to be too stupid to be a truly sentient species at one point due to their lack of written language and nomadic life style. Only for those very same yaks to read this quote unquote study in our own newspapers. The experience of millenia gives perspective that most lack.”

“That is certainly something to consider,” Velvet Touch replied diplomatically before turning to her partner and pulling her up and off her chair, ushering the still distraught pony in the direction of the door. “We really should be going before someone puts their hoof in their mouth again.”

Silver nodded and merely allowed herself to be pulled along, staring at the floor, unblinking.

“Oh and if you two even give me the impression that you have used what you know against the crown in any capacity, or if I even get a whiff that you’ve broken your oaths, expect to become intimately familiar with the deepest cell I can find,” Celestia called out, stopping the pair at the door. “I do not make this threat idily, but nor do I want to have to back up said threat.”

“We won’t, Your Majesty,” Velvet Touch replied, before giving her partner a light smack on the shoulder. “Isn't that right, Silver?”

“Yeah, don't worry about it, Princess,” she muttered, unable to look the alicorn in the eye.

Nodding slowly, Celestia pulled a sheet of papers from her ‘in’ folder. “I wish the rest of your days are more peaceful than what these last few days have been.”

And with that, the door slammed shut, leaving Silver Scalpel and Velvet Touch standing outside the alicorn’s sanctuary, a pair of dead-eyed guards standing on either side of them. “Come on, Silver, we should get home. Maybe that pizza we ordered the other day is still good.”

Silver nodded and followed closely after the other mare, her gaze low and her shoulders drooping. “I can't let their sacrifice be in vain,” she whispered to herself.

“What was that?” Velvet asked, stopping and waiting up for Silver.

“N-nothing. Just thinking aloud is all,” Silver replied quickly.

“Maybe we should grab something to eat on the way home instead,” Velvet offered. “Maybe that would help take our minds off this whole thing.”

Though the other mare nodded, her gaze was distant, as was her mind. “Sure, whatever you say, dear.”

Frowning, the other pony began to trot down the hall once more while keeping a closer eye on her special somepony who lagged slightly behind.

A few feet away, the two guards standing vigil by the door exchanged a knowing look, the one to the left of the door nodding after a brief, silent exchange passed between them. The plan already formed, and set into motion, the guards turned back to their duty, both pretending like nothing happened.

Silver Scalpel had been rendered unstable, they had realized, and had accidentally given them a hook to which they could drag her to their side. There was no doubt in either guard’s mind that it would take little prompting to get the mare to work for them, as her desire to make things right was as obvious as it was all consuming. The only detail left up to chance at this point was what to do about her mate, who seemed to side with Celestia more often than not.

Something both of them knew was not a good indicator of a long life.

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