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What if Bright Mac and Pear Butter simply ran away from their families rather than Pear Butter (or even Bright Mac) was forced to chose between which families that they had to be with. What would that look like exactly? Find out.
There is a chance that their will be a sequel chapter to this based on how well this is received.
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This was fantastic. really hope you do the sequel chapter.
This story can't be just a one-shot, especially with that ending. There's just gotta be more. I wanna know what Shiny Bartlett and Pear Slices look like.
i would love to know what would happen if granny smith finds them
I'm intrigued. Is love to know how this pans out with Granny Smith and Grand Pear
I don't want to be a dick but I guess I'm going to be. Did you even bother to read your own story before posting it? We are all people and it's completely normal to have typos in your story but for god's sake, you miss like 5 quotation marks at the very beginning of it. You could have easily avoided this if you had taken a glance at the story before actually posting it. That just shows no respect for your readers.
9107608
There are much nicer ways to suggest an editor, you know. There's no need to piss and moan.
That said, yes this story could use a lot of polish. But it's a genuinely intriguing idea and I'm definitely keeping an eye on it. Besides, in the end the only one who HAS to like your writing is you, author-person, so write however you want and have fun. We're spectators, not your boss.
Good luck!
9107828
I'm not talking about an editor. Just read once what you've written before posting it.
No, it's not. Otherwise, nobody would ever post their stories on the internet and instead just store them up on their PC.
Sequel plz~ I'm dying to know more especially how this affects the elements and so on
At the mention of a note on the kitchen table I thought of this.
9107833
Okay, let me spell this out for you: no one has a right to be a dick to the author, including you. So how about we both shut the hell up and you go somewhere else if you think this is so bad. The rest of us are here to have fun.
Deep Sniff: BOI.
Deep Sniff: Nice idea.
Deep Sniff: Great story!
Deep Sniff: Sequel Please.
Overall, this is an amazing take on how the episode played out; but as a friend, I have to say this: deep sniff: GRAMMAR ERRORS.
LOL, they aren't really noticeable and can be ignored - except for all those "said's" that my English class would hate.
That was just to remind you since you probably already know due to other readers, no pressure; I not trying to be mean.
All-in-all, it's a great story and I cannot wait to see your writing and stories improve. :)
OMG THIS IS SSOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD
PLEASE CONTINUE THIS WORK, THIS AU DESERVES TO BE TOLD!!!!
Edit: I really wanna make some fanart of Shiny Bartlett and Pear Slices so could you give some basic info, just what they look like so i can bring your characters to life, thank you and have a wonderful day.
I like this story, I hope you continue it in a sequel.
Also, I hope you have them make hybrid apple/pear trees and farm them, be a nice symbolic gesture I think.
Sequel please
I like this story. This story need a sequel.