The festival of life is an ancient tradition in Equestria where the gender ratio problem is 'fixed' by having a stallion offer his services to stud for any mare who wants it, this year, Twilight Sparkle has volunteered.
Your story is comfortable and smooth to read and has few errors, that is a big plus. I also like the general story outline.
My own preference is a non-anthro setting, but anthro is fine too if done well. And here I come to my criticism:
Besides the characters and the setting, there is not much that sets this story apart from any other adult story in a completely human setting. What makes the characters anthro ponies? Do they have equine ears, a muzzle, a tail, fur or hooves (instead of feet)? There has to be at least a bit of stuff like that to set the characters apart from normal humans, I think. I'd have liked to see such bodyparts involved/mentioned. A swishing tail, twitching or laid down ears maybe? A bite into the soft membrane of an ear maybe? If you, the writer, imagine it like it, nothing of it is mentioned. It only mentions Zecoras stripes... Maybe you could add little tidbits here and there to enrich the story.
Also, I think Twilights studious OCD character comes a bit too short. I can't imagine her letting the skirt fall to the floor and kicking it aside. She'd more likely disrobe with intent and a possible blush on her cheeks, fold her clothes and set them aside neatly before embarking further in their intimacies. Also, I was astounded in the previous character when she named her endowment dick when talking to Mayor Mare. I would have expected such words in chapters like this with Zecora, but not in a more official scenario. I would have expected Twilight to word it more delicately.
Oh yes
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beet red
Your story is comfortable and smooth to read and has few errors, that is a big plus.
I also like the general story outline.
My own preference is a non-anthro setting, but anthro is fine too if done well.
And here I come to my criticism:
Besides the characters and the setting, there is not much that sets this story apart from any other adult story in a completely human setting. What makes the characters anthro ponies? Do they have equine ears, a muzzle, a tail, fur or hooves (instead of feet)? There has to be at least a bit of stuff like that to set the characters apart from normal humans, I think.
I'd have liked to see such bodyparts involved/mentioned. A swishing tail, twitching or laid down ears maybe? A bite into the soft membrane of an ear maybe?
If you, the writer, imagine it like it, nothing of it is mentioned. It only mentions Zecoras stripes...
Maybe you could add little tidbits here and there to enrich the story.
Also, I think Twilights studious OCD character comes a bit too short.
I can't imagine her letting the skirt fall to the floor and kicking it aside. She'd more likely disrobe with intent and a possible blush on her cheeks, fold her clothes and set them aside neatly before embarking further in their intimacies.
Also, I was astounded in the previous character when she named her endowment dick when talking to Mayor Mare. I would have expected such words in chapters like this with Zecora, but not in a more official scenario. I would have expected Twilight to word it more delicately.
Rarely any Twilight x Zecora stories showing up.
This was a awesomely sweet and wild chapter I hope she still gets pregnant.