Never Lucky

by Ferris the 1st

Chapter 7: Promotion

One last restless night in the barracks with the rest of the recruits interrogating me about things I couldn't talk about didn't make the hours last long enough. I was not looking forward to the morning and I silently pleaded with Princess Celestia to take a sick day. Either she didn't hear me or decided to ignore me because the sun was up when our wake up call came and I was forced to face the music.

An “escort” came to take me directly to the she-devil's office and I was still shaking off a case of the yawns when I was pushed in. I had been told to leave my armor. Right now I wished that I had it. Lieutenant Cadence was in full armor and strapped along her back was a lance that I was going to be seeing in my nightmares. Echo sure liked to be authentic with her illusions.

At least the sly smile spreading across her muzzle as she looked up at me was less disconcerting than the stoic expression of her doppelganger. Putting aside whatever report she'd been reading, she gestured to a chair across from her, “Sit.” she commanded. I obeyed, just hoping to avoid her ire today.

To her credit, she seemed unusually composed today as she eyed me from across the desk. She seemed to be searching for something in my eyes as she spoke, “You are a strange stallion, Lucky Signs. When you were first marched through that door, I had you pinned as just another 'hero' type, but here we are. Not only have you shown remarkable resilience, now you stand with the honored few to complete the Shadow Run.”

I was starting to wonder if she had been replaced by a changeling when her hoof slammed into the desk. Her smile was gone, replaced by a thin frown, “So I started to do some digging. I started to wonder to myself, who is this stallion? Where did he come from? Who taught him so well and what drives him? Do you know what I found, Lucky Signs?”

“...Nothing?” I supplied softly.

She nodded, throwing me off, “That's exactly right. Nothing. No training, formal or informal. No prior incidents leading up to your little heroics. Nothing about you adds up. So, right here and now, you're going to tell me what it is about you that lead you here and you won't lie to me.”

I let out a defeated sigh, my ears splayed back across my head, “Lieutenant, there's nothing I can tell you that I haven't already stressed to you since day one. All of that, all of this,” I gestured around the office, “is one giant misunderstanding. I was here on a simple delivery with every intention of going home before something like this could happen.”

She said nothing, prompting me to continue, “I know that I can't get you to believe me, but all I can tell you is the truth. One day, I had an accident. It was a school activity, a scavenger hunt, and the final clue had all of us stumped. Our teacher told us that all of the answers were somewhere within the school yard and we spent a long time looking for it.”

Leaning back in my chair, I closed my eyes, “It was stupid. We were getting frantic because everypony wanted to be first to solve the riddle and none of us were watching where we were going. A colt was crawling on the ground, thinking that it would help him find the answer and I wasn't looking where I was going. I tripped over him and rolled down the hill we were on. When I hit the bottom, I was in a bush of flowers I'd never seen before. Of course, worried that I'd been hurt, the teacher was quick to come.”

I let out a bitter laugh, “She got it into her head that I'd just hopped up and kept searching, as colts are known to do. Turns out, the flowers were the answer and she was convinced that I'd puzzled it out. That was the same day I got my Cutie Mark. I got praised and at first I liked it. Time went on though and it started to get worse...”

I looked into Martial's eyes, spying no hint of her thoughts, “I haven't meant to do a lot of things in my life. They just sort of happen and I would be showered with congratulations that I didn't deserve. It's all this messed up matter of perspective that other ponies seem to have of the situation. I slip and disarm a criminal? They think that I'm some master of hoof-to-hoof combat. Oh, I lose a battle with gravity and complete an obstacle course? They think I've been holding back.”

I grit my teeth, “It's just luck.”

The tension was thick enough that a lumberpony would be needed to cut it. She blinked. I blinked in return. Finally, with an air of frustration, Martial spoke, “Honestly, I want to believe you and send you on your way. The problem is that it's out of my hooves,” she sighed, rubbing the back of her head with one hoof, “whether we like it or not, Lucky Signs, I'm stuck with you.”

I slumped down into my chair in defeat. It sounded like neither of us were happy with the arrangement, but we were just going to have to deal with it. Taking a breath to compose myself, I inquired, “So, what now then? I spend a certain amount of time walking up and down roads and looking guardly?”

This mare really loved to dash my hopes with shakes of her head, “Nothing that simple,” she stated, reaching into her desk to produce a folder, “the ponies under my command aren't sit at home types. Due to the relaxed nature of our society, criminals have an easy time building nests right under the noses of the normal guards. We deal with burning them out.”

Pushing the folder over the desk to me, she explained, “As of right now, you work with the authority of the crown to investigate a number of cases that local authorities are unable to deal with. These investigations can range from simple information gatherings to tactical assaults on criminal lairs that we find. This,” she pointed at the folder, prompting me to open it, “is your first case.”

She was up and pacing her side of the room, talking even as I was reading, “It's a simple mission, one I would usually give a single recruit, but considering your... situation, I'll be sending a veteran with you. The two of you are tasked with looking into rumors of a small cult uprising near the town of Springrun. It's a few days travel from Manehatten and that's close enough to cause some fear.”

She paused, turning her head to gaze at me out of the corner of her eye, “Several locals have gone missing and the rest believe that a Nightmare cult is active there.” I froze. Ever since Princess Luna's return, there had been a number of fanatics whom worshiped Nightmare Moon as a goddess. Usually, they were stomped out by quick actions from law enforcement, but like a bad weed they kept coming back.

They also weren't known for being the most stable of ponies and had been accused of various violent crimes in the past. Of course, this was all second-hoof rumor. I didn't exactly care much for the news and only heard bits of it during routine deliveries, but what I'd heard was not good.

Martial must have felt my dread as she spoke, “You are not to engage the cult forces directly. Let me repeat that,” placing both hooves on her desk, she stared at me, “do not engage any cult members you find. Your mission is determine if there is any truth to these rumors. If they're dug in hard enough to get away with foalnappings, then they're beyond the locals anyways. If you find proof of cult activity, you report back and I'll send a contingent down to wipe them out.”

“Noted,” I agreed with a bit of a squeak, “hooves off.” Like I was going to be dumb enough to take on a cult of crazed ponies. If anything, finding the missing ponies was going to be my first goal before bringing down the wrath of Martial's forces. It also wasn't confirmed that a cult was in the workings; those ponies may have just gotten lost at best or run afoul of local predators at worst.

The lieutenant gave me a nod, then took a deep breath. Parting her lips, she sat there with her mouth open for a long moment, confusing me to no end. I noticed one of her ears twitch, as if catching a noise I couldn't hear and closed her mouth, “Your partner will be here shortly.” she informed me.

I was just about to ask her what she meant when the door opened behind me. Twisting around, I got my first look at my partner. A thestral stallion entered with fur so dark that I thought he was a shadow at first. Then his amber eyes snapped to look at me and I could immediately tell what he thought of me: I was useless to him. Instead of armor, he was wearing a dress uniform with the insignia of a sergeant.

“Sergeant Silent Stroke, this is the auxiliary, Lucky Signs. As of today, he's a part of my legion. You've been briefed on your assignment,” Stroke gave a level dip of his head, living up to his name, “very well. Take Lucky and get him equipped as you see fit. Auxiliary, for the duration of the mission, the sergeant speaks with my authority. If he says jump, you better have all four hooves off the ground. Dismissed.”

If this stallion said anything, I'm sure I wasn't going to argue. He easily dwarfed me and I wasn't sure who would be foolish enough to try and tell him no. Sweet Celestia, when he motioned with his head to follow him, I wasn't about to hesitate as I jumped to my hooves and cantered after him. One strange thing I did notice was that as we left the dark halls and made for the outside, he pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his uniform and put them on.

Hey, if he wanted to go with the “cool guy” look, I wasn't going to judge. He could probably break me in half with his wings alone.

We made for the armory, but took a slight detour and came to a hall closed by a sturdy iron gate. A single unicorn in armor stood in front of us until Stroke produced a paper. Whatever was written on it must have checked out as the unicorn lit up their horn to lift the gate out of our way, sliding it back into place behind us. Stroke and I entered into a circular room about half the size of the normal armory.

“What is this place?” I asked, unsure as to what I was looking at. All around us I could see what looked like random odds and ends. A white shirt that somehow had no dirt on it, a number of horn and hoof rings, as well as random contraptions that I'd only heard about in stories. The entire thing was lit by a single crystal floating a little above our heads and shining with raw mana.

“Equipment,” Stroke stated simply, finally letting me hear his drawling tone, “leftover from the disbanding of the Monster Hunter Organization.” With deft hooves, he tossed me a saddlebag and motioned for me to follow as he produced one for himself from under a shelf just inside the door.

At first, he seemed content to fill his own bag with various things, but he finally tossed a medallion at me, “Keep that close. It's charged with a one-way teleportation spell. Should keep you out of trouble.” It just kind of continued like that for a few minutes as he tossed things at me and gave a brief explanation of their uses.

A hoof ring that could fire various signal flares. A pair of goggles for seeing in the dark (because apparently he could do that naturally). The sort of things you'd hear about in an Ogres and Oubliettes game. I wanted to question why any of this stuff was necessary for a simple scouting mission, but I figured he was just preparing for a worst case scenario. Then he produced something that startled me.

The item was a slim dagger with an edge that gave off bad vibes. Holding it like a venomous snake, I looked at it, then him. He simply stared at me, “Last resort. Forbidden spell. Against one opponent, stab them. Against many foes, stab yourself, deny information.” With that he shoved a train ticket into my hooves and started walking out.

What the buck had I just become a part of? I found a sheath for the dagger and made sure to pack it away where it wouldn't be prodding me...

Comments

[Emperor]

Looks like Lucky Signs was just shown the hidden repository with all the forbidden equipment that Equestria officially denies they have any of. I would imagine he may run into at least one former anti-monster special agent during his time out in the field, too.

Hah. Looks like the Martial finally believes Lucky. Just a little too late for her to actually do anything about it. Maybe she'll watch on in an enraptured awe as, following blunder after blunder that somehow turns into success, Lucky Signs begins to outrank her.

[Snuffy]

Only sending in two investigators to something as serious as reports of multiple kidnappings seems a little… negligent by the guard.