• Member Since 19th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 minutes ago

RB_


Backflipping through reality at ludicrous speeds. What does RB stand for, anyway?

T
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In Ponyville she was born and raised,
In Ponyville she played.
In Ponyville she'll spend her days,
In Ponyville she stays.

Apple Bloom tries to move away from Ponyville. A horrible incident, however, forces her to change her plans.

Sometimes, leaving your home of twenty years isn't quite as simple as getting on a train.


Special thanks to Figments, BootyPopperzZz, and R5h for their assistance with chapters 1 and 2.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 13 )
RB_

It's still October in my timezone, it counts!

By the by, the title is stolen wholesale from This Town Will Never Let Us Go by Lawrence Miles. The two stories have absolutely no connection, but the title fit too well to pass up. Miles' book, however, is a fantastic read, and I heartily recommend picking it up if you have the opportunity.

“Well, my lil’ sis is moving to Fillydelphia tomorrow, an’ I want to give her one last taste of home before she goes.”

Apple Bloom winced.

“Also, we’ve got a bunch of apples that’ll be goin’ bad soon, so I wanna use them up before we have to feed them to the pigs,” Applejack continued.

I really enjoyed this juxtaposition, besides it making me smirk. Because Applejack so often has a moral center (and southern accent) on display, people so often disregard her frugality and cunning that can power a somewhat cynical approach to things. Oftentimes her aspect of "practicality" is just translated into a lack of creativity and lateral thinking.

I have a sense of where you're going with this, but I look forward to seeing the specifics. Especially what the story is with Scootaloo.

Huh. Just huh, this has an interesting tone that very much asks on the what between.

Well, shit...

Ratcheting up the stakes like this all of a sudden actually leaves me feeling much less interested in how this story will go than I was at the end of the first chapter. I was already taken in with Apple Bloom trying to chart her own course, her pre-emptive homesickness, and the hint of bubbling dissapointment or resentment that seemed to be coming off of Applejack. This just feels like such an extreme ploy to get the reader's attention.

I don't see the narrative point for making this happen, and I don't understand that story's reasoning for why it DID happen. Granny Smith lost focus for a few seconds at the end of her conversation with Applebloom, sure, but I'm not seeing any evidence that any dementia she's may have is THAT terrible to walk onto train tracks. Nor do I understand how she's taken leave of her senses so badly that she decides to get on the train tracks, and yet managed to pick out an entry point where no one would see her, thus either stopping her or warning the train to stop.

RB_

9348860
I apologize if this comes off in any way as condescending, but I'm honestly quite surprised you would criticize the sudden and seemingly inexplicable death of a character in a story that is tagged with horror, death, and mystery. I also don't understand why you would criticize a lack of total narrative understanding of a cliffhanger event as early as chapter two.
I can assure you that this event does have a purpose in the narrative as a whole, and that this will become clear as the story unfolds. I apologize for not managing to unfold it sooner.

9349523
I knew this story had those tags, but they're just umbrellas, and don't guarantee the exact content, or the execution. I thought the horror and mystery would involve some revealing what happened with Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom and others unpacking emotional baggage from whatever happened. Maybe I was projecting that there would be a kind of slice-of-life element to it. I didn't think there would be people suddenly throwing themselves in front of trains as a kind of plot device. I only spend a small portion of my time on this site checking out horror, and don't really interact with that particular community of writers and fans. I thought "Horror" could just mean dealing with emotional stakes, and the description and reaction to gore or traumatizing events. A mundane kind of traumatizing though, not because some spectre or monster is killing people or invading their minds. But guessing from what's going on in this chapter, and your response here, I guess this means there's some existential monster or force actually literally not letting people leave the town.

Thank you for taking the time to clarify to me though, this will probably make it so I'm not thrown for a loop so badly. I also really want you to know you didn't come off as condescending. Which is much easier to avoid online than other people might try to claim.

I’m really drawn in by this intrigue. And I don’t just mean the obvious questions of who is the captive mare, where she is, who is keeping her.

(My predictions are Scootaloo, beneath either the Apples’ farm or Townhall, and the consciousness of Ponyville).

I really appreciate Apple Bloom’s deductive reasoning, and also how long and it took her to organically transition out of pure shock, then rage. Are you purposely following the Kubler Ross model?

After the bloody turn of events in the last chapter, I thought the story was going be focus on the spine-shaking horror of danger and disgust. But I am happily surprised with a focus still remaining on Apple Bloom’s civilian life, and its slow burn.

Even though this may not be the point of the story, what I appreciate the most was the impotent feeling that emanates from people trying to comfort Apple Bloom. I’ve been in that situation, where I feel sorrow out of empathy for someone’s loss, and a (perhaps selfish) sense of guilt for not being able to give a solution.

I feel like I should know more than I do here. And yet I dont have it clicking yet, ah well. Such is as they are.

It's really interesting to read descriptions of ponies that have grown up and grow old after seeing the far-flung future of the finale.

RB_

9906433
It was weird to write, too, especially given the context. I didn't want to pick this story up for a few days after the finale because I felt like I was robbing the characters of their happy ending. It made me feel bad for them, in a way I don't usually get.

Glad I got to read another chapter; the atmosphere continues to be very solid. Hope there's more soon!

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