• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2018
  • offline last seen Sunday


I love Dodge and hate ford. Deal with it

Comments ( 49 )

Damn that's a lot of horsepower sitting in a driveway.

The cars yes. My ideas and builds are pure fiction.

This is really good! I like it.

Funny thing is that I've seen all those cars IRL (except for the viper. I've seen vipers before but not the ACR model. Makes sense since only a couple hundred were built across four different complex trim packages).

This reminds me of my first story. That's not a good thing.

Full of cliches, pacing is way too fast, plot is ridiculously contrived, (how did his house and garage suddenly end up in Ponyville?) grammar is awful, and the MC is the Gariest of Gary Stu's, making him completely unrelatable. I'm still not entirely convinced this isn't a trollfic. I usually like humans taking vehicles to Equestria, if they're done well. This is not, which is why it's so disappointing to read.

I suggest you find a good editor, and try and get in the habit of reading more highly rated stories. That's the quickest way to become a better writer.

Ok! i assure you this isnt a trollfic. Also thanks for the feedback. i will work on it in the future

also how he ened up there will be explained. I had it planned before you left this comment :twilightsmile:

Nice story, but you've got to find an editor and slow down the stories pacing. As a Mustang and Muscle Car enthusiast, I've got to say this could be one of the best vehicle stories on Fimfiction.

Thank you I'm very aware of the pacing and i dont know how to fix that without making the story boring :( though i must say the criticism is much appreciated! People leave dislikes without explaining why, and it gives me no room to grow. So thank you. I will try to work on pacing and til then have a great day :twilightsmile:

No girl goes out with a guy for his personality, Its all about looks, money, or fame.

That's not sexist or anything


Alan slowly reached for his .50 cal Deagle holstered in his jeans

So he has black mopar with tacky red headlights, names his cars and talks to them, thinks ordinary women are impressed by cars, says all women are basically gold digging whores and he has a gun everyone knows from video games... this guy oozes insecurity.

It had engine problems, heh no wonder. It's a Ford. Anyway

lol every manufacturer owned by Dodge and Dodge itself made the list of top 10 worst manufactures this year

I must admit the Foxies are nice

Car is derived from the word carriage point in fact. Twilight is infact correct, we used to say self drawn carriages all the time.

Sorry! I prob shoulda worded that better. Im fixing it right now!

love this story. the 2015 hellcat, 2018 demon and the 2019 dodge redeye are my fav cars

Thanks for the compliment although its been getting negative feedback......I was actually thinking about giving up on this story. But! I might think about starting it back up again and givin it a few revs! Heheh thanks!

You know when Lyra said Cherry Lipstick, did you got that from the song I Kissed A Girl By Katy Perry? Because I got the song reference. Also, did you watched the movie Redline? Because I did watch that movie before. You can watch it here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1XYFDofn3OEFy60-bE556KPlpSLOFM3rj

Yes it was a reference to katy's song you are awesome for catching that

Are you gonna continue this story?

Thanks for that shout out to me.

I think the story is really good! Im nuts about cars. personally, I hope lyra turns out to be a gold digger and alan falls in love with ashley. 💕👌

Ever considered submitting this story to the Fimfiction group Equestrian Automobile Association?

Funny thing is, Im part of that group. I just dont think its really up to par with a lot of the stories up there. Im not the greatest writer. Ive read a few of the stories in the group and they made mine look like dirt. Also.....im not entirely sure how to submit it :twilightsheepish:

Ah that’s not too difficult. Just go to what folder you think is appropriate for your story, most likely “cars in equestria” folder. And a green box should appear saying add story. Hit that box and your story should show up in the title box.

Is my story really good enough though? In my opinion it doesnt even compare to some of the ones up there


Well, it’s been accepted into the group so you’re doing something right. I wouldn’t worry about comparing your story to others. We all start somewhere when it comes to how well we put a story together. If people comment on what you’re doing wrong but follow up on what you could do to improve, then follow their advice. Ignore the haters and appreciate those who compliment your story. You are writing a story here for you, don’t worry what others think.

I am enjoying this story so-far.

Hey everyone, im probably canceling this story. Not cos im lazy. Cos im doing something wrong and idk what. Im getting negative feedback. Whether its dms or comments. So it was fun while it lasted i guess

It might be because the major focus of the story seems to be the cars, instead of the characters, thats how it feels for me anyway.

Hey man, I just read the entire thing today. Yeah it seems a lil....odd, but odd is good, you do you man, and keep yourself happy! :twilightsmile:

I just finished reading it and I agree with Johntld03. It’s not bad mind you. There we’re actually a few good parts like the Timberwolf(s) and the hidden love from Twilight (funny part too :pinkiehappy:). Oh, I remember the part where Fluttershy took a ride and turned out she’s a thrill seeker (the quiet ones :twilightoops:). I like that part too. There were others but these I like the most :twilightsmile:.

There was something missing but I think you were getting better by giving the cars life. It sucks thought that your going to cancel it :fluttercry:. It started to feel like it was going somewhere :raritystarry:. At least you can look for something else to write and use this as an example for your future stories :twilightblush:. Good luck with your future endeavors and thanks for this story :ajsmug:.

Awww... come on man, don't cancel the story! I was enjoying this way too much!

"What was that thing?! It looked like a horse but it was purple, and why does it look like I've been sent back in time?" He got a slight glimpse of his surroundings before he left, they are more offroad rally type terrain. Thankfully Mia has a mad max inspired build. (yes his cars are named deal with it) Alan figured it was time to head home. Once home he saw the same purple horse but it poked its head out of a door. 'a house? It lives in that house?'

Will if I ever get my hands on a black semi trick I am calling it Motormaster

Oh yeah i remember that from G1. I get the reference now gosh im dumb lol

Comment posted by Dungeoneer deleted March 30th

Thanks for the chapter and the message! Good to know this thing is back in action! And Black Betty supporting Alan all the way!
Loving the story, and hope to see way more of the stuff!

Just don't understand why people be hating on the story tho... Is good stuff

Comment posted by Nebulous Draco deleted Last Wednesday

Very nice~~
Looking forward to Lyra's reaction to Alan being with Celestia. And Celestia's reaction to Lyra's! Should be a fun time all together!

Wow cool story, I like it

I'm a Porsche 911 gt3 rs fan myself

Why didn't he wake up, on the ceiling fan? XD!

Kinda reminds me of that episode when Celestia invited Discord to the gala without anyone knowing until the end. Her exclamation of how “she hasn’t seen that much excitement in years” came to mind when describing her reaction in the car. :rainbowlaugh:

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