1: A Walk in The Park
“Christ, it’s getting cold out!” I thought myself as I stepped out of my apartment complex into cool, crisp autumn air. I’ve recently taken to going on walks while to de-stress from the day and to stay healthy. I also just love fall weather, or as I like to call it, sweater weather. Nothing beats being hugged by a warm, comfortable sweater and drinking hot tea on a cold day.
My life was pretty normal. I worked on 9-4 job (normally it would be 9-5, but I eat at my desk and work so I can leave sooner), lived in a normal apartment in normal part of the city. That being said, like everyone else I had my own issues, I use to suffer from depression and anxiety, but I’ve been able to healthily manage both. I did most things alone, but that’s not say I did have a few friends, or at least acquaintances that I talked to once in a while, but other than life was pretty boring. I filled the gaps with either playing video games, watching old shows, or planning out how I would eventually get my pilot’s license some day. It’s always been a dream of mind to fly, but the cost of classes was to high. I’ve been trying to save up for it, but other life events have gotten in the way, especially financially.
My normal walking route started off at the small city park next to my apartment. Then I usually take a footbridge to cross the river that splits the city and walk through downtown. From there I usually try to mix it. I’ll sometimes walk to other parks in the city, through the university’s campus, or if it’s a nice day out I’ll grab my bike and bike to the outskirts of the city. It wouldn’t take too long to bike to outskirts of the city if I did as it’s a smaller city with a population of about 70,000.
I mentioned the city had a university, I graduated from it about three years ago. It is nice to walk through it and see how it’s changed and to bring back memories, albeit some of them are not the best. This is where my path led me today. Of course, like almost any university, there was a lot of construction going on. I’m pretty sure in the four years I was attended the university not a year went by without some kind of construction happening.
It was getting a bit late by the time I made through the campus so I decided to head back to my place. I could definitely feel it getting colder as the sun was going down, so I pulled my jacket and scarf a little tighter in.
After about twenty minutes I finally crossed the footbridge and while I was walking through the park, which was surprisingly empty, I noticed a small dog-like animal in the distance walking with its head down.
“The thing must be freezing.” I thought myself
As I walked through the park to get my apartment building, I was slowly brought closer to the animal. I noticed that small dog had what looked like to be a surprisingly large tail for an animal it’s size, although it was hard to make out much of anything besides that and a bit of a silhouette due to the park lamps not turning on yet.
Suddenly, the animal looked up at me and ran off through some tall grass and flowers towards the direction of the river. Thinking it was a lost dog, I started to do a bit of walk-jog in the direction it went because I was worried it would fall into the river. I noticed something peculiar as it ran off though. The sound it made when it’s feet hit the sidewalk didn’t sound like a dog running at all. It was almost horse-like. The thought crossed my mind only briefly as I was more focused on making sure the it didn’t fall in the river.
I waded through the small patch of foliage and I didn’t see any sign of it on the other side so I began to think the worst. I started walking towards the river, which was thankfully moving at pretty slow pace, when I noticed a fairly sizable pile of leaves. It wasn’t surprising to see the pile of leaves as the city tries to keep the parks fairly clean, but I noticed about a finger’s length of hair sticking out.
“The dog’s tail!” I thought, assuming the dog maybe hid in the pile of leaves.
I began to move towards it when I noticed some that didn’t make any sense at first.
“What animal has a purple tail?” I said quizzically and out loud.
I was starting to think that someone probably abused this poor dog and spray painted it’s tail or something. I began to dig the dog out by moving handfuls of leaves to the ground behind me when I finally noticed something that left me speechless and somewhat nervous and afraid.
There, laying in the pile, shivering and making the quietest of whimpers, was a tiny orange pony. I was so confused as to what I seeing that I wasn’t sure what to say or think. The best way I could describe it was a young, almost baby, pony that was the size of an adult French Bulldog with an orange-ish colored coat and a purple mane and tail with small little wings on it’s back. The pony’s coat and hair were matted down and dirty, and there were definitely cuts and scapes all over it.
Even though this creature was such a foreign and almost fictional looking thing, it looked so sad and hurt and it reminded me so much of a lost puppy that I just had an urge to help it. It didn’t look like it was an aggressive animal so I bent down to grabbed it. It started to squirm and kick as I placed both hands around it’s tiny body. It also began to rapidly flap it’s small wings as if to fly away but it didn’t amount to much due to the size of the wings and probably how full grime and dirt they were.
While trying to hold the small pony in one arm, which proved to be quite the ordeal, I began to remember how cold it was. I unbuttoned by jacket and pulled the arm not holding the pony out of its sleeve. I then transferred the squirming pony to the hand that I just took out of the jacket and then took the coat of by pulling my now free hand through the final sleeve. I then took my jacket wrapped the pony with it as best I could. My thought process being that this would warm it up and also make it easier to carry back to my apartment which was only a block away.
Thankfully, I completely hid the small pony in my jacket because the few people I saw outside gave me strange looks as I ran back to my apartment building with my jacket cradled in my hands and not actually wearing it.
Once I got in the building I quickly ran up the stairs to get to the third floor. Unfortunately, I tripped while on the last set and fell face first onto the last bit of stairs. I heard small, muffled yelp come from inside my jacket and I felt small drop of guilt in my stomach. Finally I got to my apartment. I fumbled with my keys trying to get the door open as I was trying to hold the jacket between with one arm and the pony began to start squirming a lot and making a lot of sound. I began to fear that my neighbors would hear the commotion but finally I got the door open.
As I closed the door behind me, I set the jacket, which was still moving, on the ground and turned around to lock my door. As I turned the key to the lock the door, I heard behind me hooves on wood flooring. I turned around in time just to see the small pony worm its way out of my jacket and run off into the apartment. As it turned to go into what was my bedroom, the small pony lost its grip on the wood floor and fell on its side with a loud, high-pitched yelp. It quickly got back up and ran into the bedroom.
I only assumed that it found the void that is the underside of my bed. The pony was definitely small enough to fit under the one foot gap between the floor and frame of my bed.
As I walked into my bedroom I turned on the light and closed the door behind me. Thankfully the only things that were underneath my bed were boxes and any socks that went MIA. As I looked under the bed, I could make out a pair of eyes with purple irises. Scared eyes. I could see the thing shaking, almost violently, as it looked at me.
“It’s okay, you can come here.” I said in my softest voice as I patted my hand on the floor. The tiny pony flinched each time open palm hit the floor and I instantly felt bad because of it. She was scared out of its mind. I decided to change approaches and just leave the pony alone for the night until it calmed down.
I decided the next step would be to figure out what the hell that thing was. I opened up my laptop and searched the first things I could think of.
“Miniature. Orange. Horse.”
Nothing came up that really matched the thing in my bedroom.
“Small. Orange. Pony. Purple. Mane.”
While there was a bunch of images that didn’t really help there was one that fit bill perfectly.
“My Little Pony? What the hell?”
An image that looked exactly like her, except cartoonish and 2D, led to me a fan-made wiki for the show My Little Pony. I knew of the fandom a little bit, but not much. This couldn’t be right. How could something from a cartoon show be real and hiding underneath my bed right now.
“Scootaloo is a female school-age Pegasus pony…”
I continued to read…
Suddenly, my mind snapped back to the fact that the little pony was still underneath my bed and in rough shape. She was too scared to possibly come out, so I thought it would be best to just leave her a blanket, food, and water for the night.
I really wasn’t sure what to feed her. A quick online search showed that horses eat mainly hay, oats, barley, etc. But the ponies in My Little Pony ate just about any kind of fruit or vegetable. I decided to meet in the middle and I diced up some apples. Apple slices would have probably been to big for her tiny mouth. I grabbed a blanket, a bowl of water, and the plate of diced apples and set them inside the bedroom and closed the door. I left light on so she could see, but I dimmed it so it wouldn’t be too bright. I would just sleep on my couch tonight. I could check on her tomorrow and try clean her and bandage her up.
I decided to continue my research into this My Little Pony show. Next thing I know I’m falling asleep on my couch while binge watching the first season. The last thing I remember before falling asleep is some episode about a land dispute between some cowboy-looking ponies and some buffalo.
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Hey, this is pretty good! I'm liking this concept you got. Keep up the good work.
I really got the feeling this will be a great story. :) please keep up the good work. If you would like the only thing I would say is stretch it out a little more. but that is just me though.
This has the same feel as another fic where the same thing happens but with a filly Rainbow Dash. That being said it's a wonderful premise and I look forward to seeing this done with Scootaloo. Especially if the show is canon to the story. Gotta love the infinite possibilities of the multiverse.
If you need an editor let me know. I offer editing to those that want it and have edited several stories now here on FiM Fiction. I have also been writing stories for 25 years.
An interesting thought to be sure. I am cautiously optimistic. One thing though, this genre's strength comes from it's ability to abide and take things at a slow and mild pace, giving the characters a chance to develop some real depth. A large portion of this story will be entirely made up of Scootaloo and ?'s interactions, so they need to be fully fleshed out. Not to mention that if the characters are fully realized, they'll start carrying the story on their own by the strength of their natural actions and reactions.
And always remember; show, don't tell. To be honest, you didn't really need the three paragraphs of introductory exposition, a good bit of that would have come up in conversation, giving us a chance to gradually meet our protagonist.
But the bit in the middle, where he finds Scootaloo? You nailed that bit. And that's the part that really needed to come through. I've got a good feeling about this, take it away Sam!
It’s like my little dashie, but better because it’s scootaloo, the best pone. I always enjoy stories like this.
9103587
Thank you so much for the feedback!! :D
9103323
If you mean MLD, then yeah. I won't deny that this is heavily based on that. I'd say that it is its own genre in fimfic.
9103216
Oh I completely agree. I think now that I have the first chapter out and have some feedback, I feel better about stretching it out and going into more detail.
9105022
No problem at all!
Hi and welcome to FIMFiction.net!^^
What is your story about? I see you don't have a long description for it, but it would benefit from having one.^^
Im interested in seeing were this will go.🤔
9105712
Funnily enough, I rather like it this way. We've got the four tags, and the picture. For me at least, that inspires a peaceful, easy feeling. I think it does a lovely job of setting a mood.
9111685
The problem is, that not many will read it that way. And the author is new, so he probably doesn't know how important a long description is yet.
I'm confident this story would have more readers already if the description would not be missing.
9111735
The first one was trash because I wrote it at like 2am. I deleted and haven't had time to write a new one due to my work schedule. I'm a firefighter, so I work 3 straight days, then have 2 days off. I'm off this weekend so I will be able to get to writing the synopsis and getting further into Chapter 2. Sorry about that.
9116486
It doesn't require an apology. But it's good to know that you work on it, I'm sure this is a good story and I'm excited to read it eventually!