• Member Since 21st May, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago


I have no heart and my avatar makes everything sound sexual. Also, It's pronounced "sam-ee".


After a long summer filled with magic shows, Trixie comes back to Ponyville to spend the winter freeloading at Twilight's castle. However, she finds out that a lot of things changed when she was gone.

For starters, there's a monster in her bed.

Preread by Cinder Vel, Bootsy Slickmane, and Dragonborne Fox
Russian translation by repitter
Russian reading by Demicorn Masterrace

Coverart vectors: Trixie by FamousMari5, Starlight by DashieSparkle, background by Magpie-pony

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

Are we sure even if Twilight notices it she won't ignore it depending on how her week has went

She may be like, "Hmm, Applejack's house is burning. Eh, she can handle that."

At least Spike's secret relationship with Gabby is safe.

Trixie still wonders what is Wise Penny up to...



Finally got his circus in a sewer up and running!

There's much to laugh at in this yes. But of all of them I have to say, OF COURSE the Castle of Friendship has a spare key by the door...

I really like the tone you have for your version of Equestria. It balances it being dark with the rediculousness everyone goes through quite well.

It reminds me of Billy and Mandy, but with less fart jokes and more swearing, drugs, and the occasional death.

But Billy and Mandy had a death in every episode! It was the same death, sure, but he was still a death.

Yeah, that was my first thought too.

Way I figure, after getting beaten within an inch of its life by a bunch of food kids, only to then end up in the Villains Pub* Pennywise would need a vacation of some sort.

Granted there's a high chance that Pennywise met his/its end in Equestria.

* = For those who haven't seen it yet there's a channel on youtube called How It Should Have Ended ( or HISHE) which does little animated shorts showing how movies could've ended differently. They also make a series called the Villain Pub which I think is pretty entertaining.

“Mayor Marks.” Starlight smiled sheepishly. “We’re using our made-up names, right?”

:rainbowlaugh: Wat. Instant like just for that.

Gonna file this one under Triple S...Silly Samey Stories. Loved it!

Hmm, I should probably write that :pinkiehappy:

It took a while because everything kept floating down there.

That's probably not the only one. Given Twilight's generally active lifestyle, she probably keeps losing those.

I started with serious dark fics, then moved on to comedy, now I'm trying to make both go together, actually.

Now I wonder if someone ever wrote Pennywise in Equestria. The answer is probably yes (but it may be Displaced).

I wonder if anyone remembers that long time ago, when the first trailers featuring Starlight aired, Mayor Marks was one of the names people were calling her (as well as "mother of Aria Blaze", "Unnamed Equal Town Leader", "unicorn Suri Polomare" or "Pony Jim Jones", which actually seems more clever than communist Starlight). Also, it was 2015. Quite a while ago.

As a russian whose name just happens to be Anton, I truly appreciate the Antonovka pony namedrop.

Ah, I see. I didn't join the herd until early 2017, so I missed out on all that. Still pretty funny.

This was fucking insane. Perfect. :D

The many misadventures of Starlight, Trixie, and Tempest.. please more..

When in doubt, always ask Wolverine Hulk Tempest to defuse the situation!

Starlight may be in for some dried frog pills.

Georg #20 · Aug 9th, 2018 · · 1 ·

“There’s plenty of beds in this castle,” Starlight replied. “Including one that can fit seven ponies comfortably and still no one figured out what is it for.”

The Tree of Harmony is a pervert. Or it just thinks Twilight needs help fertilizing her flowers so she can produce seeds. Organic plant intelligences can have issues understanding pony biology like that.

Sometimes involving literal fuses.

I guess that's the Russian branch of AJ's family :twilightsmile:

Quite a lot, in fact. She didn't know becoming a guidance counsellor was that hard.

Tree of Harmony actually thinks the sole purpose of ponies is to die and be buried so plants can grow using their bodies as a fertiliser. Hence it creates objects that are known to attract large amounts of ponies, such as the castle. It also helps them procreate. Evolution is so fascinating.

I love how "going Starlight" is now a euphemism for going insane. The Starlight/Trixie/Tempest dynamic was hilarious.

I THOUGHT my day could use some crack.

Now you don't?

I wonder how many of Starlight's meltdowns Tempest has already witnessed...

This provided all I needed.

“Wouldn’t ‘everyone’ do?” Trixie asked.

THANK YOU! Finally someone gets it! :flutterrage:

Well, "everycreature" does sound kinda forced. Wonder what made Twilight come up with that one.

*Points to Hasbro as a suspect.*

This is just perfect. I could do nothing but read about the antics of Trixie, Starlight, and Tempest Shadow all day long. It's like a buddy cop film, if there were three buddy cops instead of two buddy cops, and instead of being good guys who save the day they just mostly get into general insane antics that include lots of explosions.

"Together, they fight each other... And sometimes crime."

A few of them, I guess.

Exquisitely ludicrous. Tempest makes the already misadventurous duo into something so hilariously inept that it's probably a war crime. Thank you for this.

I'd say Tempest makes their relations more explosive...

“Never has Trixie ever gone to school,” Trixie said, causing everyone at the table to take a sip of their drinks. “She learned to read from a clown back in the circus.” She shrugged. “To think about it, Trixie still wonders what is Wise Penny up to...”

He's probably still terrorising Total Loser and the rest of Dairy.

“Hepatic encephalopathy, I presume,” Starlight replied, shuddering.

Translation: liver damage.

“Err…” Trixie looked around unsurely. “Did my father even need bandaging?”

Do you even give a shit Trixie?


Translation: liver damage.

Not just any liver damage, but the one that causes toxins to flow freely and damage the brain. Apparently common in cirrhosis.

She shrugged. “To think about it, Trixie still wonders what is Wise Penny up to...”

He's still hanging out in Dairy, Mane with Total Loser. He's helping him build his sewer circus...although there have been some disappearances lately...he should be careful.

He had to go underground...

Yeah... But at least floaters is almost done.

spherical horses in a vacuum

Waait, how do you know that expression?!

Do I know you?

I think it comes from the Russian (?) joke about the mafia kidnapping a chemist, a biologist, and a physician so they'd find the best way to make their racehorses win.

Yes! Or a variant of that where a physicist \programmer tries to sell his model\software to forecast race results. But it is WIP and postulates spherical horses moving in vacuum.

is Russian. also is a security/staff pony in several sims in Second Life and used to tell this joke.

I wasn't sure if anyone else retold it. Although there was MIT-originated (?) joke about spherical chiken with similar premise, regarding an optimal farm.

Hmm, I think I recall the spherical chicken thing...

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