[011] Being Alone
On reflex, Sunset Shimmer braced for impact.
It was a purely instinctual maneuver, which she had no complaints about slipping into as she barreled towards the monster at top running speed. The flaming aura around her grew brighter, the temperature within her suit grew hotter, and her own voice grew louder than she ever thought possible.
She barely felt it when her fist hit its target; barely heard the boom. Downtown Suburban Canterlot wasn't as lucky, as a vertical shockwave emanated from the forceful meeting of the two beings, crumbling bricks, breaking glass, and setting off car alarms for blocks in its wake.
She shut her eyes as the destruction took place. When she opened them again, she saw the spectral stagger back.
Good.
Good.
It deserved it. More than anything or anyone that Sunset Shimmer had ever been angry towards in her entire life, it deserved that pain.
The high of satisfaction proved fleeting, however, and it didn't take long for her heart to drop back into her stomach as she remembered how she'd gotten to this point. She sniffled, waves of regret washing over her as, despite her best efforts, memories of past days replayed in her mind.
Memories which only served to make her want to scream again.
Sunset stood behind Twilight, who was hunched over her desk, typing away like a mad woman on a keyboard hooked to three monitors—the center one showing rolling lines of code, the left one showing a three-dimensional diagram of something Sunset couldn't identify, and the right one slideshowing pictures of cute puppies at the rate of ten per minute. Twilight darted her head back and forth between each one, her expression shifting between concentrated, analytical, and relaxing, respectively.
Convinced that this was going to be Twilight's pattern for some time yet, Sunset looked around in the combination lab-slash-bedroom she'd found herself in, less than 48 hours after the accident. After notifying their friends and family and having them notify the authorities in turn, Twilight and Sunset had taken vehicles far from the accident site to get their bearings and take stock of the situation.
Which, in the end, found the two of them in an orange RV with pink trim, parked deep within Everfree National Forest. Also of note was that this RV was actually a mobile laboratory that Sunset had no idea even existed until about six hours ago.
"So, uh, when were you going to tell me about this place?" she asked, trying to make small talk while Twilight worked.
"I didn't think I'd ever need to," Twilight said, staying focused on her screens but still gesturing her hand around the room. "I bought and converted Sparkleworks before we moved in together. Figured after I graduated college, I'd use it to tour Pedestria while doing research on any scientific phenomena I found. Those plans changed after we decided to get serious."
Twilight swiveled around in her seat to face Sunset, her eyes wide and foreboding. "But now we're using it for literal damage control. I'm almost afraid to ask, but how are things back home?"
Sunset showed Twilight her phone, which played a news broadcast that showing Central Canterlot City from a bird's eye view. Scattered buildings were been utterly demolished, with the area closest to the Starswirl Research building—which Twilight had dubbed "Friendship Ground Zero" out of morbid amusement—having been hit the hardest.
"Second verse, same as the first," Sunset sighed. "And only going to get worse. At least the city's evacuated, and all of our friends are safe. We had a hard time getting the Apple Family to part with Sweet Apple Acres, but otherwise..." Sunset put the phone back in her pocket, as she could see Twilight's expression continue to droop the longer she looked at it. "Hey. It's going to be okay. We're going to solve this."
Twilight took a deep breath before saying, "You're right. I... I've got to just keep working." She stood up and walked to a nearby table, where an unknown device with upright tongs stood.
It was the same shape Sunset had seen on the screen. To confirm her hunch, she followed the wires sticking out from the device, and saw that they ran back to the computer. Another invention, then. She marveled at just how quickly Twilight was able to put these machines together.
And then, Twilight took out her geode.
Sunset stifled a gasp. "What are you doing? Where did you even get that?" Sunset asked. "Aren't our geodes part of what caused the explosion?"
Twilight nodded, matter-of-factly. "They are. Which is why I went back to find them. After whipping up a geode detector, of course. Unfortunately, I was only able to find mine for now. They must have been scattered a fair—"
"You went back without me?" Sunset said, raising her voice.
Twilight stepped back. "I-I didn't want you to worry—"
"Well, that was the worst way to go about it! When did you go, last night while I was sleeping?"
"What does it matter?" Twilight stepped forward, her expression hardening to match Sunset's. "This is exactly why I didn't want you to know, okay? I feel bad enough that I made that monster back home!" She gestured in the general direction of Canterlot. "I need to do anything I can to solve it! And this is how!" Twilight moved to put her geode in the device—and Sunset grabbed her wrist.
Twilight gritted her teeth. "What are you doing?"
"Is this really what it takes?" Sunset asked. "More messing around with the exact same magic that got us in this mess?"
"I just said that, didn't I?"
"If that's the case, then..." Sunset did her best to keep herself calm and level. "Look, I don't feel experimenting with geode magic even more is the best course of action. At least, not without advice from Equestria. This might be more than even the two of us can handle—"
To Sunset's shock, instead of agreeing, Twilight yanked her arm away.
"Feelings aren't going to solve this," Twilight said, in a voice colder than Sunset had ever heard in the ten years she'd known her girlfriend.
A short bout of silence followed as Twilight took a deep breath, leveling her voice as well. "Sunset, that thing back in Canterlot City is magic. Pure magic. My device just sort of... channeled it, before it siphoned too much and things went kablooey." She looked in Sunset's eyes. "Don't we usually solve our magic-related problems by firing a harmonic rainbow laser at it?"
Sunset ignored the sudden pangs which pricked her heart upon hearing those words. She shook her head, banishing her worst conclusions before she could jump to them. After all, Twilight couldn't have meant what Sunset thought just then. Twilight knew better. They'd shared too much of each other: their dreams, their secrets, their vulnerabilities...
"It's never that simple," Sunset said. "Even you have to know that! I can't believe—" A thought came to Sunset, unbidden, and she gave it form, the words slipping out before she could stop them. "I never should have allowed you to work with my world's magic in the first place!"
And then, it was too late.
Twilight's eyes widened to double size. "Allowed? Who's the one who was all in with me on this? Who's the one who freaking snuck behind Equestria's back along with me? You're the last person who gets to say anything's 'allowed'!"
Sunset held up her hands, desperate to get things back on the rails. "I'm just saying that we should exercise responsibility—"
"To say nothing of you sneaking behind Equestria's back being the reason magic invaded this world in the first place! Or was it me who wanted to take over the world using it? Two worlds? Starting with ours? Oh, yeah. Real responsible."
The anger, the familiar, roaring anger, welled up from within the pit of Sunset's stomach. To her credit, Sunset tried not to lean into it. "Okay, no. You don't get to do low blows. Not given how we met in the first place. We've both been at fault when it comes to this stuff."
"Oh!" Twilight paced around, rolling her eyes and her wrists. "You mean when I did a regular, run-of-the-mill science experiment, and the crazy magic you brought to my world ended up getting caught up in it, and you yelled at me when it happened, just before I got utterly consumed by the stuff and had to live with panic attacks involving my dark side for years? Until now, even? Because that was all my fault, wasn't it?" She stopped in front of Sunset with a pointed glare. "Thanks for that, by the way."
Sunset crumpled. But... but Twilight had so often said that she'd gotten over those things! Had she been keeping all of it secret? Had Twilight been lying all this time? Sunset couldn't bring herself to ask, instead only managing to weakly utter, "Twilight... Twi, you're upset. I understand—"
"You're darned right I'm upset!" Twilight's voice cracked as she placed one hand on her heart and thrust the other towards the window. "Because this time, the thing out there wrecking our hometown is something I made! Because I thought, like a certain someone else in this room who had huge ambitions that weren't good for anyone, that I could control everything I got my hands on! And now, again like that certain someone, I can't blame anyone else for the consequences! Face it, Sunset: the only reason the two of us are together is because of a whole bunch of awful, ill-advised decisions that, just like the one we're dealing with right now, can all be traced back to a single selfish mistake!"
A long silence followed, hanging over the room like a hundred swords. Sunset could barely parse Twilight's words, could barely interpret them, but knew what they meant. Even if Twilight didn't. Even if they'd been accidental.
Were they? It didn't matter. To think that, with just a few words, all of the armor Sunset managed to put around her heart over the years could be bypassed completely. To think that all of her confidence, all of her self-assurance that her past no longer mattered, all of her manufactured hope for the future... could dissolve in an instant. She felt her body weakening, her legs shaking, barely able to support herself. Her breathing quickened, deepened. Her surroundings lost their clarity, turning to mush.
Twilight must have sensed what she'd done, because her voice suddenly turned concerned and caring, and she stepped closer. "Sunset, that's... oh, no." She shook her head. "Sunset, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—"
Sunset shook her head, resisting, just for a short while, the alarms that rang inside her, telling her that she needed to get out, now. She backed away from Twilight.
"Thank you for telling me how you really feel," she said in a meek, defeated voice. "As luck would have it... I agree."
"No! Sunset, no!" Twilight grabbed Sunset's wrist. "Let me explain, please! We need to—"
The two locked gazes, seeing nothing but pain in each other's eyes. Too much pain, both knew, for words to erase.
Sunset slipped her arm out of Twilight's unresisting grasp. She walked out of the RV, mounted her motorcycle, and zoomed off in the direction of Canterlot.
Sunset screamed again.
This is all! Because! Of you! You did this to us!
Ignoring joints that protested in pain from her previous battle, Sunset did everything she could to capitalize on her momentum and advantage. She'd taken boxing in college as an elective and, after quickly finding it to be a personally balancing and fulfilling hobby, enrolled in a gym as soon as she was able.
And practiced for years.
The nickname "Freight Train" revolved around her soon after.
You took her away from me! I'm not a mistake! I have a purpose! I have a life! I have someone who I love and you took her away from me and made her say awful things!
Fiery body blows burst into the spectral, one after another, with machine precision, each one setting off a miniature explosion and turning her hearing into a drum concert. Sunset pressed her assault, coming dangerously close to merging with the beast if she made even one wrong move.
None of that mattered. Only one thing mattered. She called on her adrenaline and her frustration, daring even to get in touch with the anger she knew from the old, bad days, when she was a newcomer to this world, barely knowing anyone but knowing how to drive them apart, and make them hate each other as much as she was sure she hated her previous mentor. Anger that, ironically, felt refreshingly straightforward.
The punches continued. No time for shame. Shame later. Greater good now. Get rid of this thing, now! This is ALL YOUR FAULT!
She roared yet again as her anger flared, and she punched faster and faster. After thirty hits—forty? Fifty? She'd lost count a while back—a light blipped in the corner of her heads-up display.
"OVERDRIVE READY," it read.
Huh. That hadn't been in the instruction manual. But knowing her girlfriend... well, time to find out what it was. She gave the mental signal for it to activate.
Flames jutted out from her boots and her arms, everything a blur or red and orange. And the speaker from her wrist boomed once again.
"OVERDRIVE! FINAL VICTORY TECHNIQUE..."
Twin flaming wings sprouted from the back of the suit. She looked up at the spectral, showing teeth. It didn't seem to know what was happening.
It would soon enough. Sunset raised her fist skyward.
"...PHOENIX RISING!"
The rest of Sunset went with it.
Her vision spun as she soared, a rising column of fire surrounding and swirling about her as she rocketed upwards, sending punch after punch into the spectral, who rose with her. If she'd lost count of her hits before, she certainly didn't see the use of keeping track now, even as her HUD registered a strike counter in the triple digits.
The final hit loosed another shockwave—horizontal this time—as the spectral was sent flying into Flim and Flam's shop ten blocks away. She decided to save her sympathy for more deserving establishments.
Like everything else. Downtown was in shambles, but thankfully, things hadn't spread to the residential district—people would still be able to come back to their homes, Sunset and Twilight included. Eventually. Someday. Maybe. If anyone else could stand the sight of Sunset or Twilight again.
If Sunset could stand the sight of Twilight.
Her heart dropped. Who was she kidding?
More like if Twilight can stand the sight of me.
Her pity party was stopped flat as she crashed into the ground. She lay there, unmoving and groaning. She'd actually felt some of that one. Her suit's operating system gave off mild beeps, but was otherwise a far cry from the bevy of activity it had been a mere minute ago. That technique really had taken everything she had left.
And now, things felt so familiar.
If only she hadn't been so reckless the first time she'd tried to take on that thing. Drunk on the feelings of invincibility, of validation, she'd thrown herself into hit after hit from the monster, in the name of landing as many of her own as she could, playing nowhere near as smartly, and, ironically, nowhere near as desperately.
In other words, ignoring Twilight's warnings. Ha. Now that was a switch.
She did her best to breathe deep, to breathe fast, to catch her breath, to avoid sniffling. But when she heard a booming stomp some distance away behind her, her resolve crumbled.
She let the choked sobs come.
Twilight, damn it, damn you, damn me, why did we have to fight?
She looked behind herself. The spectral was officially back. It was bruised. It had holes in a few places. Those holes crackled with electricity.
It was angry.
Fighting this thing makes no sense. Fighting you doesn't make any sense.
She called on the fire again, barely feeling her nerves, barely managing to stand.
So, why did we...
She collapsed again, on her back, looking at the sun. Not directly at it, of course—that'd be silly—but it was always nice to know that it was in the sky, as a reminder.
As she closed her eyes, she could have sworn she saw Twilight's smiling face, one more time. "I just wish I got the chance to... to tell you..."
Sunset's vision went dark. A voice echoed in that darkness.
A whispering voice. Twilight's voice.
"I know."
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Oh, geez. You stupid, useless lesbians...
Also, her final attack wasn't a Rider Kick? I am disappoint.
I really liked this chapter!
...I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really liking Sci-Twi here. She's so practical, and so mercifully free of self-delusion
I'm not quite following what the enormous insensitive thing Sci-Twi is implying is?
...Ok, maybe quite a bit of Sci-Twi self-delusion left after all...
Maybe I've just been too immersed in for the last month, but this is eerily reminiscent of Sunset in Lost in Paradise. I really wish she didn't sound so very in-character when behaving like this
I couldn't speak for the rest of the decisions made during their relationship, but that certainly sums up the arrival of Sunset and Sci-Twi? It's still evading responsibility on the latter's part, but I can't think of any way in which the bit about Sunset was wrong. I mean, at least Twilight called it a mistake...
Again, I wish this didn't seem so very Sunset. How old is she meant to be here? It's not often one feels the rampaging monster busy destroying a city is the victim in a situation, but here...?
Good note to end on though!
I don't think that Twilight realised that Sunset is a 'the world needs you than it needs me' sort of girl when it comes to taking responsibility.
This just gets better and better. :3
Damn, that fight had a lot of strikes in it.
The monster fight did too.
Sci-Twi was speaking in anger, but still that was painful. Good chapter.