• Member Since 7th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


Student, Author, and Programmer


Spike has lived with ponies his whole life, from the very moment he opened his eyes. After experience with his own kind, he's consistently chosen ponies over other dragons. They're his friends, his colleagues, his companions.

But Spike is getting older now, and taking notes and organizing papers isn't the way he plans on spending a dragon's lifespan. He is thrilled to discover there are plenty of ponies who appreciate his talents.

But then he gets his first rejection, and he discovers that even the ponies close to him had different ideas of his place in the world.

Written as a Patreon reward for Vilken666. Proofreading by Two Bit and Sparktail, and cover by Zutcha.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 72 )

I love a good Spike story.

In short, they are rewarding the 'Pet,' with treats. That's actually a brilliant way of ending the fanfiction. Good job writer! :pinkiehappy:

i get this has the random tag, but why isnt spike considered a resident? seems pretty sketchy to have a sentient being classified as a pet

Awesome idea. Great story. ๐Ÿ‘Œ

Bureaucracy makes snails look like Rainbow Dash. In the meantime, another clever stopgap can make it work in a timelier manner.

And it could be worse. Spike could be a dog.

I wasn't sure how I'd feel about this one, but it turned out to be a delightful read. Thank you for it.

As it was explained, Ponyville law was written with quadrupeds in mind. Not even Discord would have been registered as a resident, he likely would've been something like Fluttershy's pet under the circumstances. Given what we've seen of Ponyville in the show, other than the Friendship School, there are no other races that live or have lived in Ponyville other than ponies at that point. The exception to this would be the two resident donkeys, and assorted cows, but they're still quadrupeds.

He should of just walk up to Twilight and go "So remember how I became Dragon lord to stop dragons from invading Equestria right? How I had the power to command every dragon in the palm of my claws, that same power that could burn equestria, ponyville , every book you have ever read and everyone you have ever loved. They would all be ash upon my call. You remember that right? How I have saved the crystal empire twice? the second time by burning a stadium size ice berg of a cloud into a puddle in what 4 second tops maybe 5. So let me ask you again what are going to do about this law twilight and how long before I go to Ember and say change of plans!".

I think that would help him over turn the law. Otherwise good concept and well written I just don't really like the ending.

I've always wondered if Spike got paid for being Twilight's assistant. If not, why not?

There was this great story I once read that I sadly can't remember the name of, but Celestia keeps working him (without pay, without letting him quit etc) while Twilight is still too young to raise a child, and eventually he snaps and shouts "I AM NOT A SLAVE!"

Don't forget, he was the one who actually set the foundations for getting the Changelings as allies

His paycheck must be 5x having a lot of zeros just to make another one.

Celestia could've adopted Spike.

Meh... The beginning was good but after the talk with Twilight the end seems a little confusing and lame

If Ember wanted to stay in Ponyville for a few weeks, would you regisSchool, there are no other races that live or have lived in Ponyville other than ponies at that point.

This doesnt make any sense. Possibly an editing error?

Edit: Welp, that was fast. :pinkiehappy:

I think that must've been a client-side rendering error on your web browser. I didn't change anything.

That was interesting, concise if nothing else, but I definitely feel like there was a lot more potential with the idea. Just how slow moving is Equestrian law? And why is it so slow moving? Why didn't Celestia try to change things when Spike was born? Are Spike, Twilight, and everyone else content with having him still legally classified as a pet? Not to mention Twilight hid this legal loophole from him for how ever many years. These are all pretty interesting questions that are brought up and then dropped with little to no resolution.

It's an interesting idea, and well written, and it shows Spike as pragmatic and eager to assume some level of independence, but for me, it fails to reach any sort of satisfying conclusion.

Not actually that amusing, but interesting nonetheless...

Sorry, but I find it hard to believe that Equestria's laws, even just Ponyville's, would specify that you had to be a quadruped to count as a person. And even if they did why would they apply to Spike? He's just as capable of walking on all fours as on his hindlegs alone. Not to mention that even if those laws existed and the Mayor insisted that they applied to Spike, I can't see Twilight sitting on her ass for years without trying to change them.

If this story was set back when Twilight first moved to Ponyville and it was about she and Spike campaigning to change the law, I could have bought into the premise. As is, I couldn't maintain maintain enough suspension of disbelief to be invested, and it isn't funny enough to work as a deliberately OOC comedy.

Wow. I kind of thought Spike would be more pissed off at the end. I mean, I like the story. I'm just confused.

Was a gender swap SI piece. Barb was the main character, I think. It's possible the same scene was duplicated though.

This is entirely possible. You don't see it in the US, but in much of South America there was a fairly detailed hierarchy of rights that depended on your social status and racial mix back when slavery was around. It still persists somewhat as a social construct with levels of social status. I can see an Equestria where your rights and social status depend on where you come from and what race you are, and that it probably doesn't take dragons into account at all. Changing what could be a fairly complex web of laws and customs for one being isn't likely.

If we genetically engineered dogs to be human-level sapient, would human rights apply to them? In the legal sense?

With how much Equestria uses language like "Everypony" etc, most of the laws probably use "Pony" as the defacto term for legal individuals. Then everyone else probably gets grandfathered in using diplomacy and tourism laws. Since Spike is not a pony, but is born and raised in Equestria, he's fallen through the cracks in the system and this was a workaround.

still, with how much arbitrary power princesses seem to have, twilight could have litteraly made him a citizen, or if she couldnt have, maybe she could have sent a letter to celestia?

eh.....kinda ended a bit flat for me. "oh well, i guess i'm ok with this now"

do you know the name of the story he's talking about?

honestly I am right there with you. There was such a interesting place this story could have gone but I feel it ran out of steam at the end. I mean honestly for Spike it should have been about so much more than the job at that point. It should have been about that he is labeled in everything as a pet. He by all rights don't have the same rights as anyone else. He should be fighting for that at this point. I can't help but think of this from the view of a black man from America. And thinking of what it would be like if me or my ancestors settled for still being seen as less of a person than other races. Hell we are still fighting that fight but it use to be much worse like how Spike is. He got his 'job' but it still isn't even like he really got the job. Twilight use some power to get him in but on the books and by the law he isn't even really working there and that isn't progression that is appeasement.

Well that was certainly a depressing ending.

Spike's right, though. He's not going to be the only one that's going to have this problem now. Eventually they're going to have to knuckle down and actually fix it directly, rather than getting by with little workarounds.

Still though, if Spike's satisfied with it and he gets the job he wanted, then the workaround will do okay for now. :twilightsmile:

*Reads story*
*Puts it in the 'Ponies are racist bastards' pile*

Bastardo. There's always a way to make Equestria look like a less than ideal place, even without grim darkness. Always a way to make it look like someplace you'd avoid, and goodness, do you excel at it. To its credit, it's not like everypony is being jerks on purpose, nor do they make additional point of it. And they don't actively support the irritating nonsense in any manner. It just is. A stark contrast to actual eps in the series itself like Putting Your Hoof Down, which are far less pleasant than this.

I hope this new power plant doesn't use coal.

The ending was kind of unsatisfying. I knew the punchline was coming, but it seems off to have Spike just give up on being legally recognized as a person. It's even more unusual for Twilight to insist on keeping him classified as a pet, stickler for proper documentation that she is. (And also, probably in favor of Spike having legal rights.) The joke doesn't really work without Twilight's buy-in though.

9095502 Everything seems to be sapient in equestria. Even down to the bugs.

its quite different when its small animals like that, barring fluttershy theres no direct way of communication with them, with spike he is clearly sentient, and speaks equish or whatever it is.

9096563 Angel bunny understands charades so he could probobly learn to write if someone bothered to teach him. There was also that time the pets got offended when applebloom implied Angel was cuter than them. Even if ponies can't understand them, the animals have the mental capacity to understand ponies just fine.

By Twilight's own admission Ponies knew next to nothing about dragons when Spike hatched. It's not a given that they even knew spike would be able to talk and by the time he did they may well have forgotten about a one time stopgap legal loophole.

Of course not! It goes by the power of rainbows!

I was kind of horrified by the ending and by everyone's attitude towards the issue. The story itself makes an interesting point about how it can be difficult for people to see problems when tradition and habit mask them, but damn, it is dark.

What Spike should do is march up to Canterlot Castle, confront Celestia and Luna, and TELL THEM that they will have this fixed by tomorrow. Bite the tip of one of their horns off for good measure, tell her she can have it back as soon as he's properly employed.

Good story at the start but really don't like the direction you went with the ending. I mean this is a serious issue, and a huge example of Equestrian racism. This ending is basically laughing in Spikes faces, and saying how he' never be regarded as real person or equal by Ponies, even those he though of as friends/family.

Attack a member of royalty.

Possible endings:
A: Get a dream job. Get respect.
B: Years in prison for assaulting a member of royalty.
C: Euthanized as an aggressive animal.

That ending is kinda eff'd up.

Interesting story.
This could explain why Twilight took Spike to the vet rather then the doctor. Perhaps since Spike is classified as a pet she isn't allowed to take him to the doctor.
Also, now that Spike is friends with Ember couldn't Twilight put in the paperwork to re-register Spike as a diplomat to the dragonlands and get him residency that way?

The setup was nice, but what the actual hell is that ending?

This would presumably mean that minotaurs have to classify as "pets" too; pity the short straw that gets to tell DISCORD he's someone's pet.

I am pretty sure if it comes down to Celestia going "royal decree says this changes effective immediately" or "Discord goes on a rampage" I suspect I know which route the Princesses would go for.

The fact that dragons are even quadrupeds later on makes that even more ludicrous.


C probably also carries the additional problem of "cause massive diplomatic incident with dragons, changelings and citizens of the Crystal Empire, possibly permenantly with the former, given the current dragon lord and draconic pride; national scandal among large portions of the more liberal population."

I sadly can easily see this. Getting a bureaucracy to change the law that only affects one person with any speed as Twilight said easier to go around than get things fixed

It's a good premise but that ending undercuts the story hard. He's still considered a pet and that demeaning as hell.

As others had pointed out, everything here is played as straight as a beanpole. Or a drop of falling water in a windless sky. Save the ending. Topping such a serious tale with a gag is completely out of left field, and extremely dissonant with the rest of it. Exactly what is gained by having something so silly topping off such a straight story? It wasn't marked as a comedy.

I wouldn't count on that. Nothing canon has ever suggested Iron Will lives in Equestrian lands, only that he works there. His living arrangements have never been shown, no mention of him having a family ever happens, and we've not seen others at all. Only once had he had any major role, then made a couple cameos. Every last time, he is seen doing nothing but work. (Also, the one thing I love about him is his foresight to see the legal loophole, not that I like sleazy people, but that takes wits). I don't think his kind live there at all, nor would they be welcome considering everypony but Fluttershy considered him a freak at his premiere. No one ever changed their stance on him.

Totally agreed with Discord, which is why this is an idea, a one-shot like the one that inspired the other subverse I love so much. He alone is the main reason, among many, this kind of plot would not happen at all, let alone in FiM itself. You want to stay on his good side no matter what. Unlike Nightmare Moon, "D"'s no killer, but he will mess you up if you piss him off, and leave you in the hospital for an extensive period of time.

Finally, the biggest issue with the "Animal" distinction is the sole thing separating is the ability to speak in a common language. Everything about their behavior suggest everything in their world is sufficiently intelligent, and possess the same mental facilities. They take orders from ponies, and actively disobey them like no creature on Earth. Nothing but Equish/English or whatnot provides any distinction. There's never been a feral lifeform in FiM. Save manticore wild animals do not exist, even then debatable.

Also, simply to note it, horse habits have dwindled. From the start little touches here and there were placed all around to make them more than humans in horse shape, specific behaviors like charging, being panic prone, things like that. As it's gone on, these behaviors have dwindled to practically nothing, and mirror our own reality more than having it's own unique identity as it started out with. Score a point for the old series, barring the final season.

Loophole abuse at its finest. And I've always liked the idea of Spike as a foundryman (foundrydrake?), miner or otherwise industrial blue collar worker.

That said, the ending kills the whole message of the story. Instead of finding a way to rectify an extremely speciesist law, they simply opt to keep it in place and exploit loopholes to allow Spike to work as a mechanic.

The story was good, but I couldn't help but feel that the end is kind of depressing. And my personal feelings for Spike's situation aside, they're really just setting themselves up to have the same problem again a few months down the line... does that mean the Friendship School is going to be officially registered as a pet training center to admit Smolder? Did they ever find those forms to register Ocellus as a prisoner of war?

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!