Not What He Was Expecting
“What do you mean they didn’t approve my permit?” Spike was indignant—it took all his concentration to stop from burning the rejection slip in his claws. But there was no mistaking the bright red stamp at the bottom of the page, along with Mayor Mare’s signature.
“I wish I knew,” Arclight said. “I tried to ask, but employers aren’t privileged to that kind of information. I’m afraid you won’t be able to work here at the plant without it.” The pony sounded almost as disappointed as Spike felt, and small wonder.
Ponyville’s new power plant had been built on the edge of a hill opposite Sweet Apple Acres, where none of the fumes would blow back into the town even on the windiest of days. It would bring all the electricity needed to keep the lights on and their homes heated even in the dead of winter.
The technology was clearly in its infancy, and that was just the way Spike liked it. Searing hot, with bits of metal flying through the air if there was the slightest problem. Terrible dangers to a pony, but not even enough to scratch his scales.
“I talked to Twilight right after you gave us the tour,” Spike muttered, staring down at the rejection notice again. “She seemed excited that I was getting a job of my own. How could a princess accept me, but the city mayor say no?”
Arclight only shrugged his shoulders. “You bring me a form with a green stamp on it, and we’ll take you in a heartbeat. Otherwise…” He shut the door in Spike’s face.
Spike spent the entire walk back glaring at the work permit rejection notice, willing it to explain why he wouldn’t be allowed to take his first scrap of independence. He passed Ponyville’s citizens, ignoring their greetings and waves in his stewing anger.
It didn’t make sense. He was as much a citizen of Ponyville as anypony else here. They weren’t afraid of him anymore, and all these ponies knew his name. He’d even thought the mayor liked him! So why would she say no?
It was late enough in the afternoon that they were already cleaning things up at City Hall. But Spike knew the mayor’s assistants, and so he managed to sneak a last appointment with her.
The mayor was scribbling something at her desk, churning through scrolls almost as fast as Twilight did. But with far less precision. “I’m afraid that was the last appointment for the day. You’ll have to come back—” Then she saw Spike, and her ears flattened. “Ah, Spike. Something else from the princess? What does she need this time?”
“Nothing.” Spike walked over to her desk. He would’ve been annoyed that the mayor looked at him and only saw the one he represented. But sometimes being Twilight’s assistant had perks. Like right now. He turned the note around so she could see it. “My work permit got rejected. Why?”
“Oh, that!” The mayor relaxed, sitting back in her chair. She made to grin at him, but apparently saw the angry look on his face, and became calm again. “Well, you understand the purpose of work permits, don’t you?”
He shook his head.
“Years ago, the crown was less particular about who did what. Ponies got taken advantage of—the young, the sick, that kind of thing. So we made laws to protect ponies who can’t protect themselves. Employers can’t hire—”
“Oh, I did know that.” He dropped the permit down on her desk. “But I’m not sick. And I know I look small, but I’m sixteen years old now. That’s old enough to work. For… twenty hours a week, I think.”
A pained expression crossed the mayor’s face. “Yes, but…” She cleared her throat. “It’s probably not my place to tell you this. You should ask Twilight.”
“Twilight didn’t reject my work permit,” Spike said. He didn’t growl, didn’t expose his fangs or anything like that. He wasn’t trying to be intimidating. But he could see the mayor scoot her chair just that much further from him. “You did. I tried to ask your assistant, but she said I didn’t fill anything out wrong. Said I had to ask you.”
“Yes.” The mayor straightened. “Well, it’s not just young ponies who can’t work. It’s that you’ve got to be a resident, spike. And you’re…” She rose, moving past him. Ponyville was small enough that its records room could fit in her office. She opened a drawer marked “Residency,” pulled it back, and drew out a file. Instead of an address, the words “CRYSTAL CASTLE” were marked on the top.
The mayor set it down on her desk. “Well, see for yourself. Your residency records.”
Spike opened the file. There were only two pages inside, not three. He ignored Starlight’s page entirely and took out Twilight’s. A few notes about her, public tax stuff mostly. He turned it over. “I’m not in here.”
“Yes you are,” the mayor said, sounding very much like she wanted to run away. “Back of the page, down near the bottom.”
Spike looked. His name was there, all right. Under “Pets.”
Spike(16)—Wyrmling dragon, purple and green scales, breed unknown.
“It was the only way to let you live here,” the mayor finished, voice very small. “Equestrian law is… old, and slow-moving. We didn’t have anything in place for citizens with less than four legs. Twilight and I, improvised for you. And pets can’t work. You’re not like a cow, who can know what she’s doing, get paid for her time. Well you are, but pets aren’t, and…” She scooped up the file, tucking it away so fast Spike expected it to blur in the air. “I’m terribly sorry. I know this isn’t the answer you want to hear.”
Spike hardly even heard her. He picked up his rejection slip, and turned his tail on the mayor. Maybe he would’ve had to put up with this a few years ago, but not anymore.
“I can’t just change the law, Spike,” Twilight said, staring down in concentration at the castle’s supernatural map. There were new cutie marks blinking in it, the sign of some new adventure to come, but Spike didn’t care. It wasn’t like he had a mark—he wasn’t even a person so far as Ponyville was concerned.
When it had been a choice of siding with his own kind, he’d chosen his pony friends instead. Twilight had shown her loyalty in return by calling him a pet.
“You owe me this, Twilight,” he said, setting the rejection slip on the table in front of her. “How long have I been helping you? How long have I been living here? But I might as well be Owlicious for all that Ponyville cares.
“It’s just bureaucracy,” Twilight said, finally looking away from the map, down at the rejection slip. “I’ve been dealing with problems like this for a long time. A law gets made, and it makes sense for most ponies. If it doesn’t for you, it’s way easier to go around than it is to go straight through. Find a way to make the law work for you. That’s all I did. I did look into a few other things—like a foreign diplomat, those can be any creature. But you didn’t actually represent anywhere, and you were just a kid when we got here. You could’ve been a prisoner of war, but we haven’t been at war for so long that nopony could tell me how to file for that.”
“That’s why you change the law,” Spike argued. “Equestria isn’t alone the way it used to be. We’ve made contact with dragons, hippogriffs, changelings, yakks… befriending every creature. Sooner or later some of them are going to want to move here, right? If Ember wanted to stay in Ponyville for a few weeks, would you register her as your pet too?”
“Well she’d be a dip—” Twilight trailed off. Maybe she could feel the heat of his glare, singeing the edges of the rejected work permit. “I’d love to change it, Spike. I would. But princesses don’t make the laws, we just ratify them. And it isn’t we, it’s Celestia and Luna. Cadance for the Crystal Empire. I even pay taxes, just like anypony else in Ponyville.”
“I don’t care how you fix it,” Spike growled, folding his arms. “But if I can’t get a job, then obviously I can’t be your assistant either.” He took a step back, glowering at everything. “I’m not helping anymore, not until you fix it.”
Twilight sighed, rose from her throne, and tried to pull him into a winged hug. But Spike shoved her away. He could feel the tears streaking his cheeks.
“I’ll… you’re right.” Twilight Sparkle lifted the rejection slip into her magic, then turned to go. “I’ll get you that job. Somehow.” Then she left.
Spike watched her go, alone beside his tiny stone chair. The map’s magic had recognized him, even though it wasn’t alive. Could ponies do the same?
Spike walked into work for the first time only a few days later. He adjusted his brand new “Department of Water and Power” cap with one claw, feeling the satisfying snugness against his scales. Twilight had spent the better part of the last two days at city hall—and true to his word, Spike hadn’t gone to help her. That meant he didn’t know what she’d done.
“Good to see you, Spike,” Arclight said, holding out a sturdy-looking belt with several tools on it. It even looked like it was in his size. “I hope you’re ready for this, because there’s a problem in one of the turbines, and I was hoping to send you in.”
“Sure thing!” Spike took the belt, adjusting the straps until they were tight against his belly. He didn’t even recognize most of the tools hanging from it, but that didn’t matter. They were his tools, and he was going to do something useful that didn’t have anything to do with being a princess’s pet. “I guess Twilight took care of everything. She said she would.”
Arclight looked a little uncomfortable, but he nodded all the same. “She sure did. Princess sure had a way with words, that’s for sure. But what matters right now is if you’ve got a way with electricity.”
“I have no idea,” Spike said honestly, patting one of the tools hanging from his belt. Some kind of spool wrapped in wire. “But I’ll find out for you.”
He worked for his whole shift, proving over and over again just how useful it could be to have a dragon for a job like this. He didn’t really understand what was going on yet—and there would be a lot of reading to take home to make sense of the electrical principles at work. But none of that mattered. Ponyville would have power for one more day because they had a technician like Spike working at the power plant.
Twilight never told him what she’d done, and Spike didn’t ask. But he found out anyway, about a week into working for the power plant. A new placard had appeared in the employee lounge, one he knew hadn’t been there during his first tour.
Spike made his way over, then hopped up on a chair so he could get a good look at what it said.
Grooming and Daycare License proclaimed the certification, with signatures from Twilight and Mayor Mare. Dated to the day before he’d started working.
Arclight was suddenly standing behind him—not that surprising, considering everyone at the plant had lunch at the same time. He followed Spike’s eyes, then nodded. “Your princess sure does have an interesting way of doing things.” He lifted a little pouch out of a pocket, settling it in one of Spike’s claws. “Speaking of which, I’m not actually allowed to call these gems your ‘paycheck.’” He winked meaningfully at him. “But I won’t tell the mayor if you won’t.”
Spike considered the bag for a long time. Then he twisted it opened, reached inside, and popped a sapphire into his mouth. It sure tasted like a paycheck. “Fine with me.”
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I love a good Spike story.
In short, they are rewarding the 'Pet,' with treats. That's actually a brilliant way of ending the fanfiction. Good job writer!
i get this has the random tag, but why isnt spike considered a resident? seems pretty sketchy to have a sentient being classified as a pet
Awesome idea. Great story. 👌
Bureaucracy makes snails look like Rainbow Dash. In the meantime, another clever stopgap can make it work in a timelier manner.
And it could be worse. Spike could be a dog.
I wasn't sure how I'd feel about this one, but it turned out to be a delightful read. Thank you for it.
9095502
As it was explained, Ponyville law was written with quadrupeds in mind. Not even Discord would have been registered as a resident, he likely would've been something like Fluttershy's pet under the circumstances. Given what we've seen of Ponyville in the show, other than the Friendship School, there are no other races that live or have lived in Ponyville other than ponies at that point. The exception to this would be the two resident donkeys, and assorted cows, but they're still quadrupeds.
I've always wondered if Spike got paid for being Twilight's assistant. If not, why not?
There was this great story I once read that I sadly can't remember the name of, but Celestia keeps working him (without pay, without letting him quit etc) while Twilight is still too young to raise a child, and eventually he snaps and shouts "I AM NOT A SLAVE!"
9095536
Don't forget, he was the one who actually set the foundations for getting the Changelings as allies
His paycheck must be 5x having a lot of zeros just to make another one.
Celestia could've adopted Spike.
Meh... The beginning was good but after the talk with Twilight the end seems a little confusing and lame
This doesnt make any sense. Possibly an editing error?
Edit: Welp, that was fast.
9095611
I think that must've been a client-side rendering error on your web browser. I didn't change anything.
That was interesting, concise if nothing else, but I definitely feel like there was a lot more potential with the idea. Just how slow moving is Equestrian law? And why is it so slow moving? Why didn't Celestia try to change things when Spike was born? Are Spike, Twilight, and everyone else content with having him still legally classified as a pet? Not to mention Twilight hid this legal loophole from him for how ever many years. These are all pretty interesting questions that are brought up and then dropped with little to no resolution.
It's an interesting idea, and well written, and it shows Spike as pragmatic and eager to assume some level of independence, but for me, it fails to reach any sort of satisfying conclusion.
Not actually that amusing, but interesting nonetheless...
Sorry, but I find it hard to believe that Equestria's laws, even just Ponyville's, would specify that you had to be a quadruped to count as a person. And even if they did why would they apply to Spike? He's just as capable of walking on all fours as on his hindlegs alone. Not to mention that even if those laws existed and the Mayor insisted that they applied to Spike, I can't see Twilight sitting on her ass for years without trying to change them.
If this story was set back when Twilight first moved to Ponyville and it was about she and Spike campaigning to change the law, I could have bought into the premise. As is, I couldn't maintain maintain enough suspension of disbelief to be invested, and it isn't funny enough to work as a deliberately OOC comedy.
Wow. I kind of thought Spike would be more pissed off at the end. I mean, I like the story. I'm just confused.
9095544
Was a gender swap SI piece. Barb was the main character, I think. It's possible the same scene was duplicated though.
This is entirely possible. You don't see it in the US, but in much of South America there was a fairly detailed hierarchy of rights that depended on your social status and racial mix back when slavery was around. It still persists somewhat as a social construct with levels of social status. I can see an Equestria where your rights and social status depend on where you come from and what race you are, and that it probably doesn't take dragons into account at all. Changing what could be a fairly complex web of laws and customs for one being isn't likely.
9095977
The Poisoned Barb.
9095502
If we genetically engineered dogs to be human-level sapient, would human rights apply to them? In the legal sense?
With how much Equestria uses language like "Everypony" etc, most of the laws probably use "Pony" as the defacto term for legal individuals. Then everyone else probably gets grandfathered in using diplomacy and tourism laws. Since Spike is not a pony, but is born and raised in Equestria, he's fallen through the cracks in the system and this was a workaround.
9096143
still, with how much arbitrary power princesses seem to have, twilight could have litteraly made him a citizen, or if she couldnt have, maybe she could have sent a letter to celestia?
eh.....kinda ended a bit flat for me. "oh well, i guess i'm ok with this now"
9095977
do you know the name of the story he's talking about?
9095659
honestly I am right there with you. There was such a interesting place this story could have gone but I feel it ran out of steam at the end. I mean honestly for Spike it should have been about so much more than the job at that point. It should have been about that he is labeled in everything as a pet. He by all rights don't have the same rights as anyone else. He should be fighting for that at this point. I can't help but think of this from the view of a black man from America. And thinking of what it would be like if me or my ancestors settled for still being seen as less of a person than other races. Hell we are still fighting that fight but it use to be much worse like how Spike is. He got his 'job' but it still isn't even like he really got the job. Twilight use some power to get him in but on the books and by the law he isn't even really working there and that isn't progression that is appeasement.
Well that was certainly a depressing ending.
Spike's right, though. He's not going to be the only one that's going to have this problem now. Eventually they're going to have to knuckle down and actually fix it directly, rather than getting by with little workarounds.
Still though, if Spike's satisfied with it and he gets the job he wanted, then the workaround will do okay for now.
*Reads story*
...
*Puts it in the 'Ponies are racist bastards' pile*
Bastardo. There's always a way to make Equestria look like a less than ideal place, even without grim darkness. Always a way to make it look like someplace you'd avoid, and goodness, do you excel at it. To its credit, it's not like everypony is being jerks on purpose, nor do they make additional point of it. And they don't actively support the irritating nonsense in any manner. It just is. A stark contrast to actual eps in the series itself like Putting Your Hoof Down, which are far less pleasant than this.
I hope this new power plant doesn't use coal.
The ending was kind of unsatisfying. I knew the punchline was coming, but it seems off to have Spike just give up on being legally recognized as a person. It's even more unusual for Twilight to insist on keeping him classified as a pet, stickler for proper documentation that she is. (And also, probably in favor of Spike having legal rights.) The joke doesn't really work without Twilight's buy-in though.
9095502 Everything seems to be sapient in equestria. Even down to the bugs.
9096528
its quite different when its small animals like that, barring fluttershy theres no direct way of communication with them, with spike he is clearly sentient, and speaks equish or whatever it is.
9096563 Angel bunny understands charades so he could probobly learn to write if someone bothered to teach him. There was also that time the pets got offended when applebloom implied Angel was cuter than them. Even if ponies can't understand them, the animals have the mental capacity to understand ponies just fine.
By Twilight's own admission Ponies knew next to nothing about dragons when Spike hatched. It's not a given that they even knew spike would be able to talk and by the time he did they may well have forgotten about a one time stopgap legal loophole.
9096458
Of course not! It goes by the power of rainbows!
I was kind of horrified by the ending and by everyone's attitude towards the issue. The story itself makes an interesting point about how it can be difficult for people to see problems when tradition and habit mask them, but damn, it is dark.
What Spike should do is march up to Canterlot Castle, confront Celestia and Luna, and TELL THEM that they will have this fixed by tomorrow. Bite the tip of one of their horns off for good measure, tell her she can have it back as soon as he's properly employed.
Good story at the start but really don't like the direction you went with the ending. I mean this is a serious issue, and a huge example of Equestrian racism. This ending is basically laughing in Spikes faces, and saying how he' never be regarded as real person or equal by Ponies, even those he though of as friends/family.
9096729
Attack a member of royalty.
Possible endings:
A: Get a dream job. Get respect.
B: Years in prison for assaulting a member of royalty.
C: Euthanized as an aggressive animal.
That ending is kinda eff'd up.
Interesting story.
This could explain why Twilight took Spike to the vet rather then the doctor. Perhaps since Spike is classified as a pet she isn't allowed to take him to the doctor.
Also, now that Spike is friends with Ember couldn't Twilight put in the paperwork to re-register Spike as a diplomat to the dragonlands and get him residency that way?
The setup was nice, but what the actual hell is that ending?
This would presumably mean that minotaurs have to classify as "pets" too; pity the short straw that gets to tell DISCORD he's someone's pet.
I am pretty sure if it comes down to Celestia going "royal decree says this changes effective immediately" or "Discord goes on a rampage" I suspect I know which route the Princesses would go for.
The fact that dragons are even quadrupeds later on makes that even more ludicrous.
9096896
C probably also carries the additional problem of "cause massive diplomatic incident with dragons, changelings and citizens of the Crystal Empire, possibly permenantly with the former, given the current dragon lord and draconic pride; national scandal among large portions of the more liberal population."
9096176
The Poisoned Barb.
I sadly can easily see this. Getting a bureaucracy to change the law that only affects one person with any speed as Twilight said easier to go around than get things fixed
9097202
thx
It's a good premise but that ending undercuts the story hard. He's still considered a pet and that demeaning as hell.
As others had pointed out, everything here is played as straight as a beanpole. Or a drop of falling water in a windless sky. Save the ending. Topping such a serious tale with a gag is completely out of left field, and extremely dissonant with the rest of it. Exactly what is gained by having something so silly topping off such a straight story? It wasn't marked as a comedy.
Also,
9097170
I wouldn't count on that. Nothing canon has ever suggested Iron Will lives in Equestrian lands, only that he works there. His living arrangements have never been shown, no mention of him having a family ever happens, and we've not seen others at all. Only once had he had any major role, then made a couple cameos. Every last time, he is seen doing nothing but work. (Also, the one thing I love about him is his foresight to see the legal loophole, not that I like sleazy people, but that takes wits). I don't think his kind live there at all, nor would they be welcome considering everypony but Fluttershy considered him a freak at his premiere. No one ever changed their stance on him.
Totally agreed with Discord, which is why this is an idea, a one-shot like the one that inspired the other subverse I love so much. He alone is the main reason, among many, this kind of plot would not happen at all, let alone in FiM itself. You want to stay on his good side no matter what. Unlike Nightmare Moon, "D"'s no killer, but he will mess you up if you piss him off, and leave you in the hospital for an extensive period of time.
Finally, the biggest issue with the "Animal" distinction is the sole thing separating is the ability to speak in a common language. Everything about their behavior suggest everything in their world is sufficiently intelligent, and possess the same mental facilities. They take orders from ponies, and actively disobey them like no creature on Earth. Nothing but Equish/English or whatnot provides any distinction. There's never been a feral lifeform in FiM. Save manticore wild animals do not exist, even then debatable.
Also, simply to note it, horse habits have dwindled. From the start little touches here and there were placed all around to make them more than humans in horse shape, specific behaviors like charging, being panic prone, things like that. As it's gone on, these behaviors have dwindled to practically nothing, and mirror our own reality more than having it's own unique identity as it started out with. Score a point for the old series, barring the final season.
9097329
Agree
Loophole abuse at its finest. And I've always liked the idea of Spike as a foundryman (foundrydrake?), miner or otherwise industrial blue collar worker.
That said, the ending kills the whole message of the story. Instead of finding a way to rectify an extremely speciesist law, they simply opt to keep it in place and exploit loopholes to allow Spike to work as a mechanic.
The story was good, but I couldn't help but feel that the end is kind of depressing. And my personal feelings for Spike's situation aside, they're really just setting themselves up to have the same problem again a few months down the line... does that mean the Friendship School is going to be officially registered as a pet training center to admit Smolder? Did they ever find those forms to register Ocellus as a prisoner of war?
9097078
You have your timing mixed up.
Twilight DID take him to a doctor. Then the doctor told her to go to a vet. That's not on Twilight.