Equestria: The Intermission
Principal Celestia held her breath as she entered the portal, though she knew such was only instinct. Honestly, the strangest thing about changing worlds was how utterly mundane the process felt. No sense of morphing shape or surging magic, just one step on snow and the next on crystal. Cold winter to warm palace. A foot, then a hoof.
This time was unusual in that she did actually feel the change – the bikini and leggings stretched to accommodate her increased size, and Celestia smiled as they failed to rip. A bit snug, but that was comforting. Pony nudity had always needled her conservative sense of modesty, and it was nice to have more than a tail between her nethers and the sky.
Two ponies had been talking in the mirror portal’s room, and now looked to her with surprise. Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis. Good – she could explain, and they would help get her oriented.
“Excuse me, did you see Discord come through?” Celestia asked politely, with closed eyes and pleasant smile.
Three seconds passed without response. She opened her eyes to see Twilight and Chrysalis staring to her with shrunken pupils that darted back and forth across her body.
The body of Princess Celestia, now standing before them in a tight gold bikini and thigh-high colored leggings.
Chrysalis’ horn glowed. Blood leaked from Twilight’s nose.
Green magic shot into the purple princess, bowling her over with a noise like a squeaky toy. Chrysalis scooped Celestia up and flew away, laughing with manic glee.
Things moved quickly from there. The unfamiliar body rendered Celestia helpless, and so simply along for the ride as Chrysalis winged her to the Ponyville bell tower. The changeling quickly bound her horn and forelegs in slime, though strangely not the back ones. These Chrysalis hugged and nuzzled with a happy purr, running her face along the stocking’s fabric. A kick would be easy, but with no real idea for translating it to an escape, Celestia resigned herself to awaiting rescue.
Chrysalis’ cuddles were immodest, but nothing more. Still, it came as a relief when a crowd of soldiers began to gather around the tower, with a familiar blue alicorn hovering above.
Princess Luna raised a bullhorn – entirely unnecessary given the volume of her voice. “QUEEN CHRYSALIS, RELEASE MINE HUMAN SISTER THIS INSTANT!”
“Never!” Chysalis cried. She pulled Celestia to the railing, maintaining their hug as she shook her hoof in defiance. “We’re going to get married and have a million beautiful babies together!”
“COME DOWN OR SO HELP ME, I SHALL PERSONALLY RE-ENROLL YOU FOR REMEDIAL FRIENDSHIP LESSONS AT TWILIGHT’S SCHOOL!”
Chrysalis stood and pointed. Her other foreleg kept its grip tight on Celestia’s stockings, flipping the woman upside-down. “Ha! Threats of torture mean nothing to me!”
“Hey,” Twilight’s voice snapped from below.
Chrysalis ignored it. She collapsed into a full-body hug, babbling the changeling version of sweet nothings as Celestia rolled her eyes. “All of Equestria shall be my wedding gift to you! You shall sit upon a throne of cocooned enemies, and shall have new l-l-leggings made for you every morning by annoying white unicorns. Every noon I shall worship your tantalizingly-revealed hooves, and every evening I shall destroy your cushy backs–”
A blue aura encased the two and pulled them apart, accompanied by a stern voice. “I shall never understand why mine sister has affection for you.”
Slow, loud wing flaps carried Luna to the tower balcony. She landed, sweeping her glare from Chrysalis to Celestia…
Where immediately it fell to a gagged cry and raspberry blush. “Celestia-two, what art thou wearing!?”
She went on before Celestia could answer. “Such indecency! Such indignity! Dost thou come simply to engineer scandal against thy twin?”
“No!” Celestia cried. “I wore this for modesty! You know, keeping the lady-bits hidden and all?”
Luna fixed her with a stern frown. “Preposterous, we have tails for that. Princess Celestia would never reduce herself to wearing such provocative clothes.”
“In public,” Chrysalis helpfully added. Luna rolled her eyes, and tossed the changeling from the bell tower. Cameras flashed in the distance as winged pegasi in press hats began taking pictures, though none followed Chrysalis’ fall.
Celestia flushed and unconsciously flexed her wings to shield as much of her body as she could. “I… I thought… you know, more clothes, more modesty?”
“Not at all how it works.” Luna said. Her tone softened, and she walked forward to interpose herself between Celestia and the cameras. “But I now recall thine human world follows different rules, so it seems we must simply consider this a lesson learned. Here, let us get you into something decent.”
Light flashed at Luna’s horn, and Celestia’s clothes disappeared.
“And now...”
Another flash, this one bright enough to blind Celestia. She recovered a second later to reveal they had teleported back into Twilight’s castle. Strangely enough, both appeared in chairs, with a laden tea table between them.
Luna favored her with a smile, expertly using her magic to pour tea into both their saucers while shifting to a less formal tone. “Your presence is welcome, sister from another world, unexpected though it may be. I hope you are here for a visit, but my stomach tells me otherwise. Too much strangeness has occurred this day for me to expect your arrival is coincidence.”
Celestia made to raise her tea, and with an alicorn’s instincts, did it with magic before she could think twice. The cup shattered, leaving her with an embarrassed smile. “Strangeness?”
Luna proffered her saucer, letting Celestia take a meek sip with blue magic holding it steady. “Yes. Actually, the reason the guards and I came to Ponyville. Discord has seized one of the friendship classrooms and expelled the teachers.”
“What about the students?” Celestia asked sharply. As she did so, a crash and distant rumble shook her chair, followed by a gleeful voice in the distance.
“Yona likes this new elective! Okay Mister Discord, one more wall to go!”
Another crash rattled the china on the table. The saucer in Luna’s glow remained still as she sipped calmly. “Unharmed. According to Twilight, he started this perhaps an hour ago, and has been making a nuisance around town as well. Stealing gem-cutter tools, blacksmith gear, pickaxes...”
She lowered the cup, finding Celestia with a neutral gaze. “What’s more, he emerged from your mirror. Please tell me what damage he has wrought in your world and we shall pay whatever is owed, along with our sincere apologies.”
“No, nothing like that.” Celestia waved her forelegs, nearly falling in the process. Strange, that ponies made chairs apparently shaped for humans. “My world is in peril, and he promised to help.”
“Ah. So it is you who owes an apology,” Luna took another sip. “I jest. My sister shall be informed of these events, but barring new word, I shall wait and see.”
Celestia nervously tapped her hooves together. “Sorry about… whatever he’s doing. This probably relates to my world’s problem.”
“Think nothing of it, young Celestia,” Luna said, then broke her habitual sternness with a smirk. “Hm, I do like saying that. ‘Young Celestia.’ At any rate, It would be unreasonable to hold you or anypony responsible for the literal whims of chaos. I will see to Twilight; you, to Discord. And if possible, please learn exactly why he is demolishing part of the Friendship Castle.”
Celestia bobbed her head. She stood, turned, and–
“Wait.”
Luna stood as well. She stepped forwards, pressing their necks together in a platonic embrace. “It is good to see you...”
She drew back and kissed Celestia on the nose. “...Little sister. Now go. Do what you must.”
Celestia kissed her cheek in turn, then departed for the sounds of destruction. Scattered rubble, cracking crystals… and hammers on iron? Such proved to come from an anvil, where animate hammers were beating metal heated by a small, smugly content orange dragon.
“Best. Extra credit. Ever.” Smolder lounged on a fallen crystal wall, munching idly on a handful of said debris. “Man, if the other dragons knew how good this place tasted...”
Others labored too, under the direction of Celestia’s errant ally. A pink, bird-like creature sifted for gems in the blasted terrain, while a cheerful yak pushed a cart through a smoking hole. Discord himself lounged at the teacher’s desk, sketching something out with quill and paper.
He spoke as Celestia approached, though did not look up. “Missing a chance to see ‘Princess Celestia’ in your little costume is something I will sorely regret. I hope you appreciate the sacrifices I’m making for this.”
“But why?” Celestia asked. “What is ‘this?’”
“‘This’ defeated Tirek.” Discord gestured generally to their surroundings. “Rather, it was once a diamond-shaped box that grew into a castle because friendship, but that’s neither here nor there. What is here is that the power that beat down Equestria’s Tirek birthed in the seed that formed these walls. It did so with the power of rainbows, puppies, and love, so we need to translate that into something that can function on Earth. Simple enough: a little bit of mining for the right bits, a little metal reinforcement and appropriate gems...”
He trailed off, adding a few more lines to his paper. Celestia had no choice but to bite. “Translate it, how?”
Discord righted himself in the chair. “We will make something that the dulled and hidden magic of your world can understand. Something altogether human.”
With a conspiratorial grin, he turned the page for Celestia to see. “And what is more human… than a weapon?”
Stats
Page generated in 0.03 seconds
Total duration
638 users online
881,048 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Is it a rainbow laser cannon? Please tell me it's a rainbow laser cannon.
Crystal bullets?
Dangit, Chrysalis. You have problems. XD
>Equestria: The Intermission
Coming this never to the World of Darkness.
Come on crystalline Metal Gear...
9726229
It took me a few minutes to get it, but now I can't stop chuckling. To be followed by 'Pony: The Glittering' and Hunter: The Shootening.'
The best part is that this bit at least is canon, because Ember eating Namepending Castle.
Or maybe it's because it's been scientifically proven that the right/wrong outfit can be more scandalous than full nudity even in our world.
Or maybe it's the implication that Tirek is about to be literally stabbed with pure friendship (guns still do piercing damage, so sayeth the DMG)
Or maybe it's Luna realizing that this Celestia is younger than she is by at least one order of magnitude, and milking not being the youngest for all it's worth (not for me personally, because I was the oldest sibling and didn't even really care, but some people can probably relate)
**** it, I'm just going to go with "the best part is everything" and leave it at that.
C'mon Discord, I need it to be a guitar.
9726337
My brain automatically does that for any X: the Y.
9726185
Sapphire bullets.
I see we're already circumventing the "no weapon forged of man" possibility.
Yeah. I don't think Sunbutt thought this through.
Hah?
A bikini?
When does he not make a nuisance of himself?
I, see?
Daaaw.
... Huh. That, huh. That's not stupid.
9726148
I want to see the team decked out in bedazzled and gem encrusted firearms.
Good thing the castle can regrow dragon-eaten, yak-smashed, winterchilla-demolished, or otherwise damaged parts of itself.
Also, poor Celestias. Neither of them is going to live this down.
Well last time the last minute weapon was a scythe so I'm betting this time it'll be a sword. The question is, do we get our third showing of a unicorn mount?
9726337
Nah, it'd be "Pony: the Friendshippening"
Discord, are you about to invent the first Harmonic-Materia socketed weapon in history?
Because I'm cool with that.
I think I missed something cuz this has come up a few times. When did Chrysalis get a crush on human Celestia?
9765996
The previous story had a bit of a Chryslestia (that is, with Princess Celestia) side-romance. Human-Celestia was never on Chryssi's radar, but seeing her show up in the princess' body wearing scandalously sexy clothes launched Chrysalis' more basic instincts (kidnapping and conquest >_>) to the fore.
Magical Principal Lyrical Celestia???
Oh true discord. So true
Weapon... so miniaturized Orbital Friendship Cannon, a sword that would make a JRPG protagonist jealous, or magical Jaeger incoming? Please be the jaeger!
Ok the portal is sentient and is messing with both Celestia's and Luna's only explanation
10689919
Two words:
Friendship PileBunker
What is more human than a weapon?
Well, that dear Luna, would be VIOLENCE
I would have thought Chryssi would get the noise bleed.... but this is even better. I'm sure Celestia is laughing about all this.
Also, petty sure the bullhorn is there to muffle Best Princess so that the ponies around her can still hear the reply.
Very good to see how well Discord can get along with the Young 6 when he's not trying to spite Glim Glam
Mr. D just might get that kaiju battle after all, huh