• Member Since 29th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 15th, 2018

Banops


Dude who likes MLP parodies and what not. Also a fan of its fic. I'm not really that good at writing but I do enjoy it sometimes, so I hope you enjoy what I put out.

T

Celestia stumbles upon a rare unicorn with untold powers. Powers that just might make her job, no life for all ponies easier. But is she crossing a line that was never meant to be crossed?

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 79 )

Man this celestia is mean. I love it

MAOR

This... Is going to get ugly. :twilightoops:

"She remained silent while I strapped her into the chair. I run my hoof down the back of her main."

mane you mean.

Interesting, wonder if her plan will work.

And wouldnt call Celestia mean, she is being watched an d her job lasts 24/7, for 1000 years. So i would get cranky and tired of my subjects too and not like all of them anyway. But she still cares about all.

Okay, let's see where this leads us to!
With Celestia's demenaour, I doubt she will make Twi a real god. More like, a godly instrument that will help her reach her own end.
I have no idea why, but I think the next scene will be something like the Control ending of ME3 -- Twilight's body will evaporate, bursting with magic so great it will sear away her flesh... She will then assume the role of some kind of automaton, directed by Celestia.
Hehe. Keep going :pinkiecrazy:

1004517
*spoiler alert*
haha maybe that will happen but I finally have the second chapter in mind so you may just find out. :twilightsmile:

Ooookay, didn't see that coming.
Hurray for Twilestia!

Keep 'em chapters coming, this is interesting! :pinkiehappy:
Need some help with proof-reading? There were some minor bugs here and there :raritywink:

1010080
Ya know, I always triple check all my work (as in the two chapters I have written) and still somehow errors find a way to rear their ugly head.

So I always appreciate it when people point out my errors so I can fix them.:twilightblush:

1012186
I totally get ya. I mean, it is as if time and space itself bend during the time it takes to press ctrl+c and ctrl+v. Words pop in, get warped, forget their own meaning, whatever.
I know that somepony in the 4th dimension is having fun f:scootangel:ing with out minds. I'm telling ya bro.

I'll read these chapters again and send you a mail then :raritywink:

Oh my poor Twi... Damn you! But still likin it. :derpytongue2:

1016737 So I hear you like Twilight... I like Twilight too :twilightsmile:

:rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh::derpytongue2:I got lost and you messedd up a lot of spelling.

1018416
Oh, there's that much wrong with my chapter?

Sheesh and I thought I was able to get rid of those darned pesky errors. Would you mind pointing a few of them out for me? (how embarrassing) :twilightblush:

Lucy.
Huh. Kind of like Elfen Lied.

So, Twilight is now a otherwordly alien that wants to kill everypony.

I'm cool with that. Carry on, carry on :moustache:

1019802
Woah... You caught that reference!
Im still waiting for people to catch my fight club references :derpyderp2:

Told to us rather than shown, this could use some more emotive scene building. Like, in the previous chapter you described to us the rooms with the peculiar instruments, and we were being told how twilight/Celestia felt about things. whereas here Celestia seemed pretty indifferent about the terrifying creature pushing her head into the floor, and having Twilight be a part of her mind

Regardless of all the above, I'm loving this. I love Celestia being the false and reserved motherly character who's well aware that she can manipulate her subjects, and does actively. Her objective frame of mind, and unattachedness from her subjects actually make her seem somewhat evil, but it actually makes sense; millennia old rulers can't get too attatched to their mortal companions.

One question though, is this going to turn into a gorefic?

1022666
Thanks!! It was a bit of an awkward chapter for me. Since that is the case, I might I actually rewrite this chapter in the near future.

But I'm glad to know that I'm capable of some Character building

And no... I do recall putting a gore tag on there, but that is because I plan on having one scene be particularly disturbing. I wont do gore for the sake of gore.

1023512

There is no gore tag on this story.

How i will feel next chapter when gore comes:

latostadora.com/generados/tiendas/3366/dibujos/59367.jpg

...Well

they could have at least fucked *shot*

1028203
Im really not sure how y'all are receiving this chapter. based on the few comments already it doesn't seem good. :applecry:

Either way, After reviewing all the chapters together, I realized that this most recent addition may seem like overkill on the dark tag. I really felt like this chapter was necessary but I also understand that having a tragic death in every chapter may dull the effect.

Anyways, as far as my writing goes, I was actually happy with this chapter. I can say that I definitely put more time, thought, and effort into this one, making this my most... well written (if you can call it that) chapter.


Oh and I might post an alternate ending for this chapter. As in less depressing.
But that wont affect the story arc. And I use story arc very loosely

1030986

I must admit, that if you made me hate your guts for killing somepony, then you did a fantastic job. Trust me, I'm a hardcore WH40k maniac, and spilling guts of xenos scum is like eating apple pie for me.

But if you manage to build an image of a happy, loving, warm family, then make my stomach churn, make me want to jump in there in my Terminator Power Armor and run a Power Fist up Lucy's f:scootangel:ing a:scootangel:.... Then you did very good.

Don't you dare write an alternative, more soft chapter. That will only diminish the effect of this one. Don't make fun of things you want taken seriously.

And don't give me false hope, or the Emperor's Fist you shall feel as well :pinkiecrazy:

Aww man... I could see that coming unfortunitly, happy ideal family. Won't end well I thought.
Well written and not over the top at all.
Damn you being in my Twi's body! Get out!
Sigh, waiting for more. :unsuresweetie:

Sorry it took me a while to get this one out... I've been busy with work. So umm yeah, leave a comment so I know what you are thinking.

Nice introduction to Lucy...who turns out to be a man? Le gasp?! :rainbowderp::twilightoops::applejackconfused::trollestia:

>Cherrie had one prizes with pie of hers.
won i guess


Also its not that bad, i expected far far worse with all this comments. Will have to see next chapter.

I want to apologies, yet again, for taking a while to get another chapter out. I wrote this chapter three times and deleted it before I was finally satisfied with where it was going. And this still felt a little rushed to me. No worries, I'll be sure to make up for it next chapter. :twilightsmile:

Rushed? No way!

This felt really good in fact. I don't get why horses would eat fish, I'm not a veterinarian or anything, but I believe that in nature horses/ponies don't eat fish :pinkiesmile:

Either way take as much time as you need, release chapters like this when, and only when you feel like it :trollestia:

Keep up the good work!

Really good but why would she not tell Luna about a magic sucking monster (she did feel it trying to do something at least with her and it told her so).

This way she is only endangering others by not telling them anything.

So umm, yeah, another few days pass and out comes chapter 7. Featuring another new character, who I plan on using more of.

And while I was working on this, I got an idea for a whole new story, so yeah, I probably try writing that in the next few days.

Interdimensional monster takes over Twilight's body, while Twilight's mind is transferred to Celestia's body? :rainbowhuh:

1071075 It's good to know that my story makes enough sense for you to get that much :twilightsmile:

1071120
It would be easier to make sense of it if we saw multiple perspectives :twilightsheepish:

Nice chapter, the style has really improved since I first read this :twilightsmile:

This felt a bit short on content, but I guess you were just introducing another pony. Looking forward to more :pinkiehappy:

Took a while, but here it is... I hope you like it, so drop them comments...

I usually wait to write my chapters until I get that moment of "YES THIS IS IT, THIS IS GOING TO BE MY NEXT CHAPTER" but that moment took forever this time...

Worth the wait I believe. But do not leave us hanging long from that cliff. I have very weak arms, I might just fall off :raritycry:

Some minor grammar issues here and there don't break the story too much. Really nice job, can't wait to see the next chapter :twilightsmile:

1103181
Ha them pesky errors. Thanks for the heads up... well hopefully I cleared them out.

Still very intersting... Horrifying but interesting. :twilightblush:

AH Im glad you find my story interesting! :twilightsmile:

And I hope you continue to do so.

Now that I have direction in my story, I am glad to know where I'm taking it. So I hope you enjoy the story that unfolds...

By the way I am planning on writing a new story soon too.


As always I am desperate to know what my readers are thinking, so please drop some comments.:twilightsmile:

Yeah, brilliant thinking, Celestia - turn a young filly who has proven to be mentally and emotionally unstable when under stress into a god. Just for a encore, why not give her a group of friends who'll boost her strength of will and teach her to be self-reliant in her decision making... Oops! You did that too, didn't you? :twilightsheepish:

With any parasite, the nature of the host in some ways determines the nature of the blended being. Could it be possible that Twilight's goodness and compassion is... "infecting" it?

Ha, curious chapter. Actual character development, limitations to power -- I like that, you are giving the anti-hero some believable traits.

I wonder how long the mare will remain in stasis :trollestia:

Well I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I do...

I start taking class this monday and I'm not sure how that will affect my writing. I actually suspect that it may help me focus on writing since focusing has been an issue.

Oh and I've already started working on my second story which I plan on being a one shot. Or maybe two

Now SHARE!!! :flutterrage:

I have to admit that I didn't see the coverup scenario coming. Although it was to be expected, what with Celestia needing the body.

You made my eyes go big with the cover up scenario. Really great job!

Hope you'll be able to continue :twilightsmile:

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