Hidden Desires

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Comments ( 13 )

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The Voice in the Water

The Voice in the Water #1 · Sep 17th, 2019 · · ·

Hmm, interesting. From what details we got here, I take it that Amethyst is Twilight?

The premise here is intriguing, as is the world being set up, and I'm curious how this is going to go. One small critique, however, is that I found it a little difficult to tell who is speaking at times. Definitely going into my watch list.

AliceLiz

AliceLiz #2 · Sep 17th, 2019 · 1 · ·

This chapter is beautiful!

I already love this version of these characters and the world building that we see here. Can't wait for more

twience

twience #3 · Sep 18th, 2019 · 1 · ·

I can't wait to see where this leads! :o

Loving it.

Snowmanmelting

Snowmanmelting #4 · Sep 18th, 2019 · 1 · ·

9838281
Thanks! And thanks for the watch, too! I'm glad this picked up your interest!
Tbh every now and then I think about this entire AU and I'm like "wait, what?" I think it's one of the craziest I'd done.
Also, I'll check and correct it asap! This was originally written in Spanish where it's easier to avoid names, I think, so it's a common mistake of mine lol.
Anything else you see could be corrected, feel free to tell me!

Stardust-pony

Stardust-pony #5 · Sep 18th, 2019 · · ·

More please

The Voice in the Water

The Voice in the Water #6 · Sep 18th, 2019 · · ·

9838789

Thanks! And thanks for the watch, too! I'm glad this picked up your interest!

You're welcome. And thank you for coming up with and writing the story.

Also, I'll check and correct it asap! This was originally written in Spanish where it's easier to avoid names, I think, so it's a common mistake of mine lol.

No worries. Something I've seen done in other stories is to color code the dialog. As in, make whatever Sunset is saying orange, and Twilight purple, etc. That way, you don't have to change your writing style, while it makes things just a little clearer.

Looking forward to seeing where things go.

Spamotron

Spamotron #7 · Sep 18th, 2019 · · ·

9839114
This can work for some stories. But be careful. Colored dialogue doesn't always work well with all reading devices. Also, some people really hate it and find it garish and hard to read.

Snowmanmelting

Snowmanmelting #8 · Sep 18th, 2019 · · ·

9839114
9839291
I'm exactly one of those people who doesn't really like it. I'd rather change my narrative so it's more understandable (which is something we all should be trying to achieve) than adding colors. Idk, it might be clearer but seems lazy to me