• Member Since 8th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 51 minutes ago

Bok


My stories have a 1/1000 chance of teleporting you back in time to the Siege of Leningrad.

E

Rainbow Dash follows a sky-splitting star to the ground, carrying a single magic-slinging occupant.

With no way to communicate with the alien, they both must rely on bonds stronger than words if they're to cooperate with a misfit band of UFO hunters and avoid the wrath of a ruthless, paranoid pegasus general.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 100 )
Bok

Hey, it's the story I've been talking about for the past month!

For every chapter, I'll also be posting some art drawn by the very talented Chris the Blue, who also drew the cover art. This time I'll be posting the art of two of the characters in this story.

General Stalwart Watcher

Far Out

Here at last, eh? I'll put it on the top of my read list.

Bok

9136246

No one in particular, though it's entirely possible I was unconsciously coding Samus when writing her.

Ice cream, Mandrake. Children's ice cream..

9136246
I thought she was to a degree inspired by a warlock from Destiney

Bok

9137999

I should clarify that the human is literally magical; she isn't just using Sufficiently Advanced Technology. That's why she has a spellbook.

Bok

Starcrash (aka The Visitor)

Real name: unknown

Starcrash (unmasked)

Is there some history between the general and the unknown?

Bok

9138571

Nope, he's just paranoid of aliens in general.

Loving the story so far. From what I can tell this is mostly a Rainbow Dash story so the M6 isn’t going to be in?

It would be nice to not have them because I like to see more stories of M6 on their own having adventures which isn’t much from what I can find.

I like the artwork, though it would be awesome to see more artwork for scenes in the story.

Bok

9138641

Yeah, none of the M6 are really going to show up, except maybe by casual mention. I actually thought about commissioning Chris for a pic or two for the story, but I figured they'd get in the way more than anything.

9138667
Awesome, I don’t think pictures would get in the way. Just having the important scenes similar to how the Godzilla crossover handles it can work. But that’s up to you

This Pegasus General needs a takedown. A hard one.

Rainbow Dash jumped up into the air, both hooves on her face. "Oh Jeez! We can't let other ponies see you! Equestria isn't ready!"

I'd ask how Dash came to that conclusion, but then we met the general. Now I'm just wondering how Celestia feels about this less-than-welcoming attitude towards visitors from another world.

In any case, definitely off to a promising start. I look forward to seeing where the story goes from here.

... and I'm going to get to find out quite soon, since I missed that the second chapter's out. Whoops. :twilightsheepish:

The thing about plausible deniability is that it raises the question of just what you're plausibly denying. Of course, asking General Watcher something like that won't likely end well for the questioner.

In any case... yeah, a certain line from Ant-Man comes to mind: "Why don't you call the Avengers princesses?" Of course, the ufologists don't know that Watcher's acting on his own initiative and thus may assume that this goes all the way to the top. Dash may not be able to disabuse them of that notion.

With or without the simple solution, this still looks like it's going to be a very fun read... though I can see myself getting very frustrated with General Watcher. His parents should've named him Confirmation Bias...

Bok

9139948

Fun fact: General Watcher's prototype name was Tin Pot.

I don’t know why but if I was in her shoes, I would be lmao seeing the royal guard ponies, not running for my life.

9142407
will the princesses appear in this story at some point?

Bok

9142535

Can't really say either way, as that'd be spoilers.

I really like that we don’t get any dialogue from the visitor because it makes her mysterious and fun to read with no words but in motions and signs.

I love the Celestia response which fits with the show :rainbowlaugh:

I hope this story doesn’t end to short but so far it’s been amazing :pinkiehappy:

Interesting start to this. Far Out seems like such a crackpot, but it's odd and mildly suspicious that he was able to be in the right place at the right time to provide a hiding spot. I'm not sure I would trust that his backstory is as Looney Toons as it sounds on a surface level. Plus, if there's more to his story and knowledge of aliens, that might also mean there's more to the General than the standard trope of military guy who wants to violently defend against an unknown alien menace.

The detail that it's an actually magical human is interesting too. That's not the techy human world astronaut I was expecting.

"About that," Dash brought up, "Why don't I just fly back to Canterlot and tell Celestia about this? She'll take my word over that nutcase's any day."

Truth Seeker put both her hooves on her hips. "No offense, but when was the last time she actually saved the day?"

"But she's still the general's boss, isn't she?"

"Yeah, but we need to maintain dramatic tension somehow."

:raritywink:

Anti-alicorn fig leaves aside, very nice breather chapter. I quite like the Star Society, though I do have to wonder how Scourge got roped into all of this. Looking forward to more.

Bok

9143024

Yeah, she doesn't have any lines throughout the entire story. It might not even be English she's speaking in the few places where she's described as saying something, but nobody can understand her.

9144001
I love language barrier stories though the fun ends when the characters finally start learning each other language.

Awesome choice by the way

Bok

9143674

Scourge is from the Dragonlands, and likely left after getting mocked too much for his interest in radios and other nerdy stuff. At some point he ended up in Las Pegasus, and kind of fell into Truth Seeker's little gang.

Bok

9143636

Yeah, the human astronaut having actual magic was kind of how this story started, since I thought it was a fairly novel idea.

Bok

9142518

In a previous draft they were just wearing plain olive green army uniforms, just for ponies, but I thought that was a little too on-the-nose, so I just changed it to olive green armor.

The unicorn saw Rainbow Dash and waved. "Hey, man! Told ya I'd get help!"

This is far more help than I would have guessed Far was capable of providing.

Doh, no magic for the alien.

"Hide here," Red admitted. "We also have the War Room in the back, for forming strategies," she added, pointing to a sketchy-looking door in the back that had a piece of paper labeled 'STAR SOCIETY ONLY' taped to it.

This Star Society has top notch professionalism. No wonder they were able to rescue everyone from the military last chapter. Surely this next mission will go similarly.

Bok

9147537

Only Top Minds are accepted into the Star Society.

Bok

Reduviidae (aka Red) and her preferred disguise, Black Sun

She tucked in her wings, then winced as the injured one shot a sharp pain up her spine. She held it out from her body, frowning. "I don't think I'm using this one any time soon. So much for flying."

Who's do you think you are, Daring Do?

"Stuff that gets rid of weeds. Dunno why he'd need that, though. Since the base is almost certainly buried underground, why would he be worried about some unruly plants?"

Ahh, I get it.

Well, at least Dash made a pretty good showing for herself.

I would think that Dash would be able to counter the general on reflex alone. He must have gotten lucky.

Bok

9152381

He's nearly as fast as her, and she wasn't expecting a general like him to have that kind of speed, hence her mocking him being a desk jockey.

"We have reason to believe the Bearer of Loyalty is guilty of treason."
"Say that again without contradicting yourself."

I have to say, any plan that includes "set a forest on fire as a distraction" doesn't strike me as the best plan.

And as for the end... well, at least they're going to find the base. And as Dash herself noted, she isn't the kind of mare you can just make disappear.

The pegasus was female, white fur with a red mane, a cutie mark of a censored file with a magnifying glass over it on her flank. The bat pony, also female, was a dark grey-green member of her species with a purple mane and an eclipse cutie mark, watching Dash with half-lidded crimson eyes.

9142407

9149403

Bit of a mismatch there

Wait until Sonic in a Equestrian form shows up and gives that General what for!

A Space Mage!
This is how you get into global war: by immediately attacking foreigners! Here's to hoping that general gets court martial for breach of conduct...

"Plausible deniability. The princesses will not know about this until we can present them a working, reverse-engineered copy of this infernal ship. And preferably a specimen of our stellar guest. Until then, I am the highest authority here. Dismissed."

Whaaaattt???!!! Forget court martial, this prick needs to be arrested for treason!

But our intrepid visitor also shares blame. You just don't brazenly rush into a lockdown unless you're damn sure you can win, and she should have realized just how many unknowns she was dealing with. Her blunder cost her majorly...

Well, with such a well-thought-out-plan and a top-notch team lead by a Wonderbolt, there can be no way to fail!

Well, this is one reason why you can't have misfits running important ops.
We could buy the general's clairvoyance, but how does Classified get away with being there first thing in the morning?
Hmmmm...

Bok

Scourge the Dragon, Chief Communications Engineer of the Star Society

Bok

So, story's done. I'll be posting the last chapters and the epilogue in the next few days.

Heh, what kind of crazy nut makes all the buttons alarm buttons? Better question, why would the method to unlock any kind of escape route be placed deep in a cell block? Silly ponies...
Keep going! ;)

Bok

Starcrash alternate/back cover

Art by MrMeow

Bok

After a month hiatus, I've come back and finished it off! Final word count: just over 30k.

Story-wise, I'm really happy with how this turned out, since while it's shorter than my actual longest story, Hybrids, I feel like the ending was much less crammed in. Of course, I could be wrong about that, and if I am, let me know.

I'll probably submit this to EqD after more editing, but for now I can just sit back and be happy that it's done.

Will there be a part two? Just curious.

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