United we Stand

by Chemtest

Friends in high places

—(McBad)—

I take a seat in a fancy room a nice pony showed me to. I take out a bubble pipe from my coat pocket, and start to blow it. It was only about a minute in that I realized I was putting the wrong side in my mouth, “Eh, whatever, don’t even know why I have this.”

I toss it over my shoulder, and hear it break. Then I see the whiskey laying on the table, and pour myself a glass, “Now here’s something I know how to do.” I pull out a few ice cubes (don’t ask where they were) and put them in the glass.

I take a sip and admire the room. Nice wooden table, mahogany I believe, gold highlights, and a very nice cabinet. Maybe I should get some mahogany tables in my throne room, I like the look of it. Bit rich looking for a Resistance headquarters, but hey, people love to live in luxury. Although the broken glass and whiskey stains on that one wall doesn’t appeal as much. Hammer and sickle as well, on the walls, and on the door.

Speaking of that door, it opens. In walk five people, including Slender. The others include a grey alicorn stallion wearing sadness on his face, a man in a duster and a hat that’s face spoke of a long and hard life, a boy whose face betrays a strained metal state. The final who walks in would be a foal wearing a cloak, and is missing his eyes. But as soon as he sees me, his face gains a huge smile, “Emperor Eric McBad of Universe 015, I presume?”

I stand up, and hold out my hand, “Ravens Breath of Universe 001?”

He takes my hand with a skeletal one, and shakes, “I truely didn’t believe that you would be able to defeat them. I am glad that I was surprised.”

I smile back at him, “It is my pleasure to help. Let the name of the Bananaramma Corporation and it’s Leader be known across universes!”

He goes ahead and takes a seat, “As you already know, I am Ravens Breath. These are my friends, Slendy, Avatar, Courier, Chem, and... and... no one, nobody anymore.”

I can sense everyone in the room become much more sad, “Who was it?”

Raven looks at the ground, “Survivor. We six were brought here by a man named Last, and were to defeat the tyrant Dawnbreaker. We reunited the Elements, causing universal disturbances, wich attracted the Combine. He couldn’t teleport with us... he took as many down as he could. We fight on only to not fail his sacrifice. But we were going to fall, before You stepped in. You saved Stalliongrad.”

I nod, “And, I can help you live up to your friends sacrifice, and help you save more cities, if you catch my drift.”

Raven looks up at me, “You would help us more?”

I nod at his question, “I would fail the Bananaramma Corporation if I were not to fight for your freedom. I would besmirch the good McBad name if I were to pass up this opportunity.”

Raven narrows his eyes a bit, “Opportunity?”

I smile, “The opportunity to make new friends and allies, in other worlds! I mean, that was the majority of the enemy army from what I’ve been told, and we slaughtered them! Therefore, the enemy will be weak, and outmanned easily, add on our almost equal tech, and the fact that we have access to magic when they don’t, then we shall crush them easily. And from what I can feel radiating off of all you, then I know you are all more powerful then I am, and that is rare, so I would rather you be friends then enemies.”

I can feel Chem’s stare boring into me, “What do you really fight for? I refuse to believe that is all! I know people, people are selfish! Why would you help us in a hopeless battle?!”

I meet his glare, “Do you have a problem, mate? Something you wanna say to me? Cuz it’s awful rude to not believe I’m a good enough guy to help here.”

He marches straight up to me, “Yes, I have a problem! I believe you are a liar and a British cunt!”

I stand up and look down upon him, “Did you just call me a liar? Becuase, I will admit I can be a British cunt, but I am not a liar. I hear an Irish accent on your tone. So why don’t you just keep your mind out of matters that don’t involve potato farming and getting drunk? Because I believe the potato your mind is made out of might not be able to comprehend the complexity of what I say.”

He stands on his hind legs to look me in the eye, “At least I can handle actual alcohol, not your ‘tonics and gins’ that are weaker than a babies first piss! Aren’t you the people who lost to a bunch of farmers who didn’t even know how to wield muskets?!”

I smile, “At least America gained its independence. Ireland, on the other hand, had its independence given to it! At least Americans can walk straight!”

He smiles back, “Need I remind you that you would have lost the African front without our Irish snipers?”

I get this guy now, “And who was it that took France all by itself?”

And he gets me. He nods, and extends a hoof, “King Chem, of the Clan Patton.”

I take his hoof, “Emperor Eric, of the McBad Family.”

I can hear Ravens jaw drop, “Wasn’t he deeply depressed yesterday?!”

I nod back at Raven, “All that one needs to do sometimes is to let lose their anger and sadness on another. The most important part is that you return it, thus curing him. He wouldn’t shout at you guys like that becuase your friends, but I am a stranger. Well, now I’m a friend.”

I take a seat again, and look around once more. Courier actually shows a smile, maybe seeing Chem back at normal returned him. And Avatar’s expressions seem much more calm and relaxed, obviously fixed by the atmosphere returning to being happy. I smile at Raven, “Sign this contract here, and our alliance is sealed.”

He seems a lot brighter now, and signs it, “Actually, now that I think for a bit about something...” He takes out a flare gun, “He can pop up randomly back home, what about here?”

I look around at everyone, and see smiling faces on all. The calm and happiness having a domino effect on all of them. Even Raven and Slender, who were both more normal, seem happier and more at peace. I smile at all of them, “Well, we need to give them no time to recover. Let’s march.”

Comments

[Zapper Frost]

aww I wanted a bar fight

[Ravencell]

9092891
Spoilers, Chem would win