This Feeling
I have been of the belief that the emotions of ponies are, and will continue to be, an inexorably complex matter. While we may assign labels to these feelings, they cannot be understood simply by their name. In short, to put an emotion into words other than their name was almost impossible.
Our emotions are also fluid, changing before our vary eyes not only from subject to subject, but also within the subject itself as time progresses. Almost never are our emotions so sternly cemented that we may truly announce how we feel about something. To say we would always feel the same about any subject, with absolute honesty, should be impossible.
Yet I feel I can say this, and know it to be true.
To further complicate matters, our emotions can not only contradict one-another, but can be contradictory in themselves. This is not a rare occurrence, many have been named. Melancholy, passionate, even infatuated. These mixed emotions can be troublesome and confusing, weighing heavy on our minds and our souls.
Many emotions which are pure may be mixed within our beings with others, even their opposite. It is wholly possible to feel both joy and sorrow simultaneously.
Pride and regret.
Anger and caring.
Our emotions stand and clash amongst each other like hungry dogs, fighting for dominance. There is an old adage that the emotion that grows, the dog that wins, is the one you feed. It is true that this feeling may become predominant within you, it may 'win'...
but the other dog will still be there.
Love, however, stands unique. Love is an interesting emotion, as it is undoubtedly mixed far more than any other. The love a parents feels for its child will likely be tried and blended with the entire spectrum of emotions as their youth matures.
Love, however, is never mixed with it's opposite. It cannot be.
It is of common belief to many ponies that the opposite of love is hate.
I do not believe it to be so.
Both love and hate exist within a spectrum of passion, of deep emotion and feeling, and it is very possible for these emotions to clash together, bringing about many of the conflicts in our brief existence.
The opposite of love stands as indifference.
Not malice, nor disgust nor fear.
Simple, cold, indifference.
To be indifferent to another does not only include to be indifferent of their sorrows, but also of their joys. Their emotions resonate within you so quietly that they cannot be heard.
This is another way that I know I love Twilight.
For I have recognized my care for her. I have accepted that despite the brevity of our company, I have fallen in love with Twilight Sparkle.
Was this possible? I just met her and yet...
I would move mountains to see her smile.
I know with certainty that my love for this mare will stand every bother of time. It will remain unchanged. Not because she or I are perfect, simply because she is who she is.
I can never not care of the emotions of Twilight Sparkle.
Yet something irks me, something which I have opened this gap to understand.
In this perfect moment, the way I feel towards her seems to be mislabeled as love, or at least, love alone.
There is more.
There is wonder.
There is doubt.
There is awe and unbridled admiration.
This feeling is not love alone.
It is more.
I search. I search long and hard to find the label. Through all of the languages to be printed, through all of my mental tomes and dictionaries to find a word, a simple word which would wholly and perfectly describe this feeling.
There is none.
Like all our emotions, to each other, to ideas, to objects themselves, the way we feel is unique.
This feeling has no name, this feeling has no label, this feeling has no vocal expression.
Except one.
This feeling is simply that which it is.
The way I feel about Twilight Sparkle.
And in my greatest dream, and highest hope,
It is the way she feels about me too.
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Why can't I hold all these feels?
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I don't particularly want to read their actual works, but I do enjoy reading about them. I like to see the basis for the little things that I've picked up from watching Batman interrogate people. Psychological manipulation and all that.
It's all a big influence on my main character.
i want to see more interaction here. like, the conversations between twi and clockwork are really enjoyable to read,
This is incredible ;') It's poetic and moving, wow... Good job!
Darn you, first you had to go and revolutionize my way of thinking about fearlessness, and now you have me wanting to learn these words on love by heart.
Well played, author-man.
Very interesting
Now all Clockwork has to do, is pool together all the current and long dead languages he has learned to create one word to describe the feeling that combines
apprehension, fear that the person you're opening up to will hurt you
admiration, an appreciation for the person and everything they are
love, "an intense feeling of deep affection"
and hope, that by opening up to this person you can create a longer lasting, more meaningful relationship.
Also, if Clockwork pours a glass of water while in the gaps, then goes out of time. Will that glass forever be full no matter how much you pour from it?
You are weaving a beatiful masterpiece here and I look toward to appreciating every moment as you complete it.
See what I did there XD
An all seriousness though this is a beatiful story and I look forward to the next chapter! :)
This may just be the greatest OC centric story I have ever read.
Bravo good sir, I eagerly anticipate further chapters.
More philosophy? Interesting… I like his perspective on life… it's a unique, and aged one… One that can only exist after a lot of thinking...
Once you're finished with this fic you should go over it and correct the little mistakes, it would easily stand as one of the most unique and well thought out pieces on the whole website.
I loved this story, put plain and simply. The display of philosophy was actually quite nice in my opinion; I found myself agreeing with you on much of it, particularly regarding your philosophy on courage.
I hope to perhaps see a follow-up fic that will explore these two lovebirds in more detail!
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It's not over...far from it...
4179564 Ah...well, in that case, excellent!
Oh, goodness. I finally got around to reading this, and really didn't like it. Here's a list of issues:
The sentences, paragraphs, and chapters are all extremely short, which makes me feel rushed and out of breath while reading. Not in the thriller, edge of my seat kinda way. In the I-need-to-breathe-really-badly kinda way.
There are tons of little errors that bother me to no end. Plurals don't get apostrophes for being plural. "It's" with apostrophe means "it is" and "its" sans apostrophe means "belonging to it."
There is very little substance spread over very many words—altogether, in almost 16,000 words, there's only been two significant happenings, being Twilight and Clockwork realizing they love each other, and Spike getting a paper cut that could have killed him. This is somewhat related to the fact that you can skip several chapters with no real consequence.
The love story is extremely thin. Any reasonable reader could infer that Clockwork is infatuated with Twilight from the first chapter, and that Twilight reciprocated from chapter four.
The paper cut is very over-dramatized. From reading it, it sounds like Clockwork is defusing a bomb rather than healing a paper cut.
Caps and ellipses ought not to be so abused. Stresses and pauses in a sentence are obvious enough when read, so capitalizing them just makes me feel like I'm being talked down to. Or written down to. Whatever you might call it.
Twilight doesn't read like in-show Twilight. She's clumsy and blustery, yes, and certainly curious, but not...
... Yeah. She sounds a lot more like a fussy teenager than she normally does. The caps and ellipses issue doesn't help.
Clockwork obviously sounds like how he's written, but I have no idea what he's like. He's nice, enjoys solitude, and can draw. Not exactly the most descriptive of characters.
But hey, the premise is somewhat interesting, and people seem to love it. You got stuff going for you! It's just clearly not for me.
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A mature response to not liking a story? What is this madness?!?
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I'd imagine that it would be eternally full, but you would never be able to pour from it.