• Published 31st Jul 2012
  • 4,642 Views, 418 Comments

Clockwork - 71NYL-5CR4TCH

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This Feeling

I have been of the belief that the emotions of ponies are, and will continue to be, an inexorably complex matter. While we may assign labels to these feelings, they cannot be understood simply by their name. In short, to put an emotion into words other than their name was almost impossible.

Our emotions are also fluid, changing before our vary eyes not only from subject to subject, but also within the subject itself as time progresses. Almost never are our emotions so sternly cemented that we may truly announce how we feel about something. To say we would always feel the same about any subject, with absolute honesty, should be impossible.

Yet I feel I can say this, and know it to be true.

To further complicate matters, our emotions can not only contradict one-another, but can be contradictory in themselves. This is not a rare occurrence, many have been named. Melancholy, passionate, even infatuated. These mixed emotions can be troublesome and confusing, weighing heavy on our minds and our souls.

Many emotions which are pure may be mixed within our beings with others, even their opposite. It is wholly possible to feel both joy and sorrow simultaneously.

Pride and regret.

Anger and caring.

Our emotions stand and clash amongst each other like hungry dogs, fighting for dominance. There is an old adage that the emotion that grows, the dog that wins, is the one you feed. It is true that this feeling may become predominant within you, it may 'win'...

but the other dog will still be there.

Love, however, stands unique. Love is an interesting emotion, as it is undoubtedly mixed far more than any other. The love a parents feels for its child will likely be tried and blended with the entire spectrum of emotions as their youth matures.

Love, however, is never mixed with it's opposite. It cannot be.

It is of common belief to many ponies that the opposite of love is hate.

I do not believe it to be so.

Both love and hate exist within a spectrum of passion, of deep emotion and feeling, and it is very possible for these emotions to clash together, bringing about many of the conflicts in our brief existence.

The opposite of love stands as indifference.

Not malice, nor disgust nor fear.

Simple, cold, indifference.

To be indifferent to another does not only include to be indifferent of their sorrows, but also of their joys. Their emotions resonate within you so quietly that they cannot be heard.

This is another way that I know I love Twilight.

For I have recognized my care for her. I have accepted that despite the brevity of our company, I have fallen in love with Twilight Sparkle.

Was this possible? I just met her and yet...

I would move mountains to see her smile.

I know with certainty that my love for this mare will stand every bother of time. It will remain unchanged. Not because she or I are perfect, simply because she is who she is.

I can never not care of the emotions of Twilight Sparkle.

Yet something irks me, something which I have opened this gap to understand.

In this perfect moment, the way I feel towards her seems to be mislabeled as love, or at least, love alone.

There is more.

There is wonder.

There is doubt.

There is awe and unbridled admiration.

This feeling is not love alone.

It is more.

I search. I search long and hard to find the label. Through all of the languages to be printed, through all of my mental tomes and dictionaries to find a word, a simple word which would wholly and perfectly describe this feeling.

There is none.

Like all our emotions, to each other, to ideas, to objects themselves, the way we feel is unique.

This feeling has no name, this feeling has no label, this feeling has no vocal expression.

Except one.

This feeling is simply that which it is.

The way I feel about Twilight Sparkle.

And in my greatest dream, and highest hope,

It is the way she feels about me too.