1. A New Friend
Twilight spun her chair as she sat in her lab, staring at the ceiling. It was already five o-clock, and most of the students had left school. She was still here, as usual, working on one of her projects.
The lab was outfitted with a couple of desks, a nice desk chair for herself and a borrowed classroom chair for the occasional guest. The far wall held a bookcase and some old storage boxes. She had some of the best science equipment CPA could get her — on a small budget — and a cork board filled with various notes on her biggest, hardest, and most infuriating project yet.
But once again, Twilight was stumped.
About four months ago, she had been working on a simple research project that involved measuring electromagnetic fields in Canterlot City. She had refitted an antenna she made for a science fair project and used it to for this project. Soon after she set up her antenna, she picked up some strange readings coming from the western side of the city. Then she picked up some more two months later.
And the worst part was, she had been spending these past few months trying to figure out what caused them, and every theory and hypothesis turned out to be incorrect.
Twilight looked at the clock. Cadance — her ride home — would be coming to get her soon, and since she wasn’t going to get any more work done here today, she decided to pack up and meet up with her.
Her head was still buzzing with hypotheses and possibilities on what the energy readings could be, but none seemed promising, and each was getting more wild than the last. In an effort to quiet her mind, she put on a pair of ear buds and scrolled through the music on her phone. It held mostly classical music — her preferred genre — and she ended up picking one of Vivaldi’s compositions.
The halls were empty of students, just the way she liked it. She reached Dean Cadance’s office, and saw her ex-babysitter there, looking at her phone while leaning back in her chair.
Twilight took out her ear buds, and walked up to the door. “Hey, Cadance. Are you done for the day?”
Cadance looked up at here with a playful smirk. “Yep, I was just sending Shining a message to come pick us up. My car’s in the shop.” She clarified. Then she stood up and grabbed her coat from the back of her desk chair and started towards Twilight. “He just texted me to say he was almost here, let’s go to the parking lot.”
Twilight moved out of the doorway and then followed Cadance down the hallway. “He texted you while driving?” she asked with faint indignation.
Cadance laughed, “Are you implying that your cop of a brother is driving unsafely?”
“Well, when you put it like that…” Twilight trailed off. “So, are you having dinner with us tonight?” she asked hopefully. “Or are you and Shiny going out maybe?”
Cadance looked at Twilight, then lifted her hand to Twilight’s face and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “It’ll just be me and Shiny tonight, but I did want to talk to you while I had the chance.”
Twilight felt slightly miffed at Cadance’s doting. “What did you want to talk about?” She asked, as she pushed her glasses up her nose.
“I’ll tell you about it when we get to the car.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, but followed Cadance through the rotunda and out the front door.
Cadance waved at Shining, who was barely visible inside the car parked just below the front steps.
“Com’on, he’s here already,” Cadance took Twilight by the hand and pulled her along.
Twilight took the backseat, while Cadance got in the front passenger seat. Twilight took off her backpack and placed it on the seat next to her, looking up to see Cadance and Shining sharing a quick kiss. She looked away, pulling out her phone as a distraction as her cheeks colored slightly. She tended to get a bit awkward when seeing her brother show such displays of affection.
“So, how was school?” Shining asked as he took off down the road.
“It was fun” Twilight said.
“It was great!” Cadance exclaimed, at the same time.
“A new student enrolled,” Cadance continued, “she came to my office today so I could give her her schedule and stuff. She starts classes tomorrow.”
“In the middle of the school year?” Shining asked, puzzled. “That’s kind of unusual isn’t it?”
“Apparently she had some stuff going on at her last school that she wanted to get away from. She didn’t go into detail though.”
Twilight pulled out a book, preparing to start reading for the rest of the journey, when Cadance turned in her seat so she was looking at Twilight.
“She has really good grades, but her old school had much lower expectations from their students, so she’ll need some help to make sure she can catch up. She’s also lacking in one subject. Biology. Kind of strange that she seems to have very little trouble with any of her subjects, except for that one.” Cadance gave Twilight a meaningful look.
“Uhm, maybe she’s just a bit squeamish about that kind of thing. I’ve known a couple other students who had that issue.” Twilight reasoned.
Cadance shook her head. “I actually asked about that, and she said it was just a weak spot for her. But anyway, I came up with a great plan to solve both her problem, and yours.” She said happily.
Twilight gave her a suspicious look, and Shining tilted his head, glancing away from the road to raise an eyebrow at his girlfriend.
“And what problems are you talking about, exactly?” Twilight asked, closing her book. It seemed she wasn’t going to get much use out of it this trip.
“Her need to keep up in school, of course,” Cadance counted on her fingers. “And your problem with making friends!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “You already had me try to make friends yesterday, and now you already have a new plan lined up?
“Oh, com’on Twily!” Cadance pleaded. “She just showed up today and I really think you’d like her.”
Twilight sighed. “So, what is this plan of yours?”
“I told her you could tutor her after school.” She said, the pleading tone had quickly shifted to exited delight.
Twilight gaped at her, and Shining slowed the car down as he gave Cadance a skeptical look. “You made that offer without asking Twilight?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.
Cadance had the decency to look sheepish. “I may have gotten a bit ahead of myself in my excitement.” She turned back to Twilight, fer face regaining it’s cheer. “Twilight, before you say no, let me tell you a little about her.”
Twilight closed her mouth into a pout but after a few seconds she nodded and looked away.
Cadance squeed at the apparent success of her plan before continuing at a almost urgent pace. “Okay, so, Her name is Sunset. She lost all of her friends recently and is clearly feeling lonely.”
Twilight supposed she could sympathize with that feeling.
Cadance continued, talking faster with each sentence. “She’s smart, almost as smart as you from what I can see of her grades. She’s really sociable in a way I’m sure could help you get out of your shell a bit. Oh, and she’s really cute.” Twilight’s eyes snapped back to Cadance’s grinning face in time to catch a wink.
“I… How… W-why would you mention that?” Twilight stuttered. She started fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.
Cadance tilted her head innocently. “No reason. So you’ll do it?” Twilight looked up into her hopeful eyes.
“Sure, I’ll do it. But if she’s like all the other students then I don’t think It’ll go anywhere.” Twilight hugged herself, her eyes casting out the window. The memory of her attempt — and failure — to make friends yesterday was still clear in her mind.
Cadance reached her hand out to Twilight’s shoulder. “Don’t worry Twilight, this girl seems really nice. I’m sure you’ll get along really well.” Twilight looked up to her reassuring smile, and a smile of her own spread over her face.
If Sunset really was smart, she and Twilight should have plenty to talk about. But by similar logic, if she was very sociable, she would probably end up making friends with a lot of the other students and end up forgetting about her.
“Thanks, Cadance.” She felt the car slow to a stop and saw that they had reached her home. She quickly grabbed her backpack.
“Oh, uhm. I’ll see you tonight, Shining,” Twilight had directed the statement at Shining, but Cadance answered her with a slow shake of her head, a lascivious smirk on her face. Twilight blushed, while Shining chuckled.
“I’ll see you tomorrow after school, Twily,” he said.
Twilight gave a hasty “’Kay,” while she shuffled out of the car as quickly as she could.
“Oh, and Twilight?” Cadance said as Twilight was just about to shut the car door. “I’ll send Sunset to your lab after classes tomorrow, okay?”
Twilight nodded before even registering the words and shut the door.
While she made her hasty escape to her home, Cadance’s last words sank in. She’s going to be in my lab as well? She thought, dejectedly. This could end badly for me.
Twilight was having trouble keeping focus in class. Usually, when this happened, it was because she’d be thinking about a project she was looking forward to working on after school, this time however, the distraction was caused by the mystery girl who would be in Twilight’s lab today. Her lab had always been a safe haven from the cruel, uncaring world outside. The only people she had invited in there before were Shining and Cadance.
Twilight managed — despite the distractions — to take down notes on what the teachers said, of course. But she wasn’t doing much more than that. She often didn’t even register what she was writing down, good thing that the whole point of taking notes is that you can look over them later.
When the bell rang, signaling the end of Twilight’s last class today, her nervousness hit a peak. She was barely aware of the students leaving the classroom around her as her mind froze at the thought of what was coming next. This wasn’t going to be like last time, where she could just sit there in the background if it went badly. It would just be the two of them.
She took a few breaths to calm herself, the way Cadance had taught her years ago. Worst case scenario, I’ll just focus on tutoring her and avoid small talk, she thought.
“Miss Sparkle, are you alright?” The teacher asked. Twilight, brought out of her thoughts, mutely nodded towards the teacher before she gathered her things and left the classroom.
When she entered the hallway, it was already empty. She made her way to her locker, not far away and exchanged her psychology textbook for her biology one. Just as she was finishing up, she turned around to see Indigo Zap stalking towards her.
Twilight backed up in surprise, her back hitting her closed locker. Indigo’s smile might seem perfectly pleasant, but Twilight had seen it often enough to know what it meant
“Hey, Sparky,“ Indigo put her hand on the locker behind Twilight and leaned in, partially trapping her there. Twilight gripped her textbook to her chest.
“It was cute of you to come sit with me and the girls at lunch the other day.” Indigo said.
Twilight huffed. “That’s not the word I’d use.” She muttered.
Indigo just smiled in response. “So anyway, I got this essay I have to turn in for geology tomorrow. But the funny thing is I haven’t started it yet, and I frankly don’t feel like doing it.” She brought her free hand up to brush one of Twilight’s bangs out of her face. “I was hoping you’d be nice enough to help me out, since we’re friends and all.”
Twilight looked away. Indigo’s smile was frankly unpleasant to look at.
“Fine, I’ll do it.” Twilight sighed. She kept her answer simple and quick, wanting to get away from Indigo as soon as possible. It wasn’t that she wanted to do other peoples homework, but she knew from experience it was simpler to just accept it with Indigo. And trying to get Principal Cinch to intervene hadn’t gotten any results yet.
Indigo grinned a toothy smile. “Good, I knew I could rely on a good friend like you. You should sit with us more often at lunch,” She stepped back from Twilight and started down the hall. “I’ll send the details when I get home,” She called before rounding a corner.
Twilight sighed and walked the opposite way, towards her lab, having absolutely no interest in spending more time than necessary with Indigo or any of the Shadowbolts.
Her lab was only a couple of hallways away, so she got there pretty quickly. There was no sign of this ‘Sunset’ yet.
She unlocked the door with the key Cinch had given her for the janitor’s-closet-turned-lab. She sat down in her desk chair and groaned.
I guess I’m not going to get any work done today. Between tutoring the new student and doing Indigo’s homework for her, I won’t have any free time.
She groaned a second time for good measure. She didn’t feel like getting started on anything, since Sunset should be showing up any moment now, so she just opened up her biology book to try to plan out the study session.
Knock, knock.
“Come in,” Twilight called.
The door opened to reveal the face of Twilight’s maybe-soon-to-be-friend, if Cadance had her way that was. She felt a knot form in her stomach again, this one quite strong.
“Twilight!?” The girl asked. She seemed oddly surprised, though Twilight couldn’t really see why she would be.
“Oh, I guess Cadance already told you my name. You’re Sunset I presume?” Twilight stood up and offered her hand to Sunset.
Sunset stood in the doorway, seemingly hesitant. “Oh, uh… yeah, she did.” She reached out and shook Twilight’s hand. “I’m Sunset Shimmer. Nice to me you.”
Twilight took a good look at her new study partner. She was a little taller than Twilight, and had long flowing yellow and red hair. Her smile also looked a bit goofy at the moment, like she was trying not to laugh. Twilight’s hopes — and smile — fell at seeing her expression. She brought her arms up to hug herself as she looked away. “Something funny?” It came out more aggressive than she intended.
Twilight glanced back to see Sunset’s shocked expression. “No, I didn’t mean… It’s just-” She cut herself off, looking around for an excuse for her slight. “You look a lot like someone else I know. Except for the glasses.” She giggled. Twilight relaxed a little at seeing this. It didn’t sound like a made up excuse, except maybe for the hesitation. Twilight raised an eyebrow at her response.
Sunset looked around herself. “Whoa, you have this place all to yourself?” she asked in awe.
Twilight took another look at the girl, noticing a few more things about her. Most prominently that Cadance had been underselling her when she called her ‘cute’. This girl was outright gorgeous, the only thing about her that wasn’t was her outfit. The CPA uniform didn’t really suit her all that well.
“Yep,” Twilight answered, allowing a bit of pride in her voice. “Principal Cinch let me have one of the janitor’s closets to do my research in after a couple of my papers were published. I had help turning it into a proper lab, though.”
Sunset gave her an approving smile. “Sounds like I’m in good hands then.”
Twilight smiled, then noticed that Sunset was holding two cans of soda.
Following her gaze, Sunset held out one can to Twilight. “Here, I got thirsty after class, and figured I’d bring something for you too.”
“Thanks,” Twilight mumbled, taking the can.
Sunset opened her own can then sat down in the guest / classroom chair. Twilight sitting back in her own — much more comfortable — desk chair.
Twilight eyed her soda wearily, a side effect of having been the subject of a number of pranks in her school years. It was still sealed, so Sunset couldn’t have tampered with it, unless she was really good, which she might be for all Twilight new. If it is a prank, then I should just get it over with so I can kick her out and get some actual work done.
Sunset scooter her chair next to Twilight’s. Putting her drink on the desk, she pulled out her own biology book.
Twilight took a sip from her drink, keeping her eyes on Sunset. If she had put something in the drink, she would undoubtedly be watching for Twilight’s reaction. But she just flipped through the pages of her own book, and Twilight enjoyed a nice refreshing beverage.
“So, I was thinking we could start with chapter four. My old school was pretty slow on the material, so I’m pretty far behind.” Sunset looked up to Twilight with… something. Curiosity? Admiration?
Twilight decided to shelve that mystery. She wasn’t the best at reading faces, anyway.
She flipped her book to the appropriate chapter. “We covered chapter four a couple of weeks before winter break in class. It’ll take a few days to get you caught up. How often did you want to have these study sessions?”
“I was kinda hoping we could have them everyday after school, just until I’m all caught up. If that’s okay with you?” Sunset replied.
“Oh, uhm. Sure,” Twilight said. She wasn’t too happy about spending so much of her free time on this — she still had plenty of projects to be working on after all — but this way, she could just get it over with sooner, anyway.
Besides, Sunset seemed genuinely interested in learning, which gave her some hope that this could, maybe, actually be fun.
Twilight caught herself staring at the girl and cleared her throat. “So anyway, let’s start, shall we?”
“One,” Twilight held up a single finger, eyes still locked on her book, “all life is composed of cells. Two,” a second finger joined the first, “the cell is the basic unit of life, and three,” a third finger joined. “All cells come from other cells.”
Twilight looked up at Sunset, and for a second she wondered if Sunset had just seen the secrets of the universe on the wall behind her. A quick glance over her shoulder showed nothing out of the ordinary.
“Uh, are you okay there, Sunset?” Twilight asked tentatively. Sunset closed her open mouth and shook her head.
“Yeah, sorry. I just had no idea about all that.” Sunset stared off into the distance. If Twilight didn’t know better, she’d say that the girl had just had her entire world turned on it’s head
The following silence made Twilight slightly nervous. “Didn’t they cover this in your old school?” She asked.
Sunset looked at her again and shrugged. “Not this exactly, and what they did cover seems to have been heavily simplified, compared to what this place teaches. In the classes I’ve had today, I’ve noticed that I’m gonna need to catch up a little in those ones too.” She paused for a moment, staring into space. “I had no idea that all life was made up millions of tiny little cells that each have their own little role. It’s kind of crazy.”
“Well, didn’t you ever come across it before? Like on TV, or just conversation with others?” Twilight had to wonder how someone could have near perfect grades in almost every subject, and yet be so uninformed about this one.
Sunset’s eyes widened, and she started rubbing one arm with her other hand. “Well, no. Biology wasn’t all that big where I’m from. Hehe.” Twilight just stared. Did I hit an uncomfortable subject? Is this some kind of prank after all, and she’s badly trying to cover a lie?
Twilight didn’t spend too long thinking on it, and decided to just let it slide. “Well, that’s why you’re here. Hehe,” she laughed nervously. Why do all my social interaction devolve to awkward laughing and avoiding eye contact?
The awkward silence was broken by Twilight’s phone ringing, the calm classical music did little to settle her nerves. Twilight grabbed the phone and answered it in record time.
“Hello?”
“Twilight, why aren’t you home yet?” Came the rather annoyed voice of Twilight’s mother.
“Oh. Sorry, Mom. I guess I just lost track of time. I’ll take the next bus home.”
“Dinner’s already ready, so you’ll just have to reheat it when you get here.”
Twilight idly checked the clock on the wall. It was far later than she had realized, she and Sunset had been here for a few hours already. Cadance had offered Twilight a ride earlier when she left, but that had felt like a few minutes ago, not a few hours ago.
Sunset followed Twilight’s sight and was similarly shocked.
“Sorry, Mom. I’ll be right over.” Twilight apologized again.
“Alright, sweetie. I’ll see you soon.”
Twilight hung up the phone. “I guess that’ll do for today,” Twilight told Sunset.
Sunset nodded. “Yeah. Sorry for stealing your whole afternoon,” she said sheepishly.
Twilight waved her hand in a dismissive motion. “Nonsense. We made lot’s of progress. Plus… it was kinda fun,” Twilight admitted, standing up and putting on her parka, then making her way to the door.
“Definitely,” Sunset agreed. She put her textbook and notebook in her bag, then stood up to follow Twilight.
“You’re taking the bus home?” Sunset asked, getting a nod in response. “If the ground wasn’t covered in snow and ice, I could’ve given you a ride on my motorcycle.” Sunset grinned.
Twilight paled slightly, remembering all the statistical evidence of the dangers a motorcyclist faced. “Uhm. I think I’d rather not,” she gripped the textbook to her chest defensively.
Sunset laughed. “Well, you wouldn’t be the first one.”
“M-maybe someday.” She smiled at Sunset, hoping her smile wasn’t too obviously strained. “So, are you taking the bus too, or?” she let the question hang.
Sunset shook her head. “I’m close enough that I can just walk.”
They left the lab together, and walked down the hall towards the rotunda.
“So, when does the bus get here?” Sunset asked.
“Let’s see,” Twilight pulled out her phone to check the time. “It comes by at fifteen minutes past… which is in five minutes.” As Twilight put her phone away, she fumbled and dropped it. Darn it!” Twilight covered her mouth and looked at Sunset in shock.
Sunset simply chuckled at her slip. “Aw, did the widdle girl just say a naughty word?” she teased.
Twilight picked up her phone and was pleased to see it hadn’t cracked.
Sunset was still laughing — albeit good-naturedly — so she shoved her in the shoulder. “Hey, don’t tease me. My parents are very strict about language.” This just made Sunset laugh even harder. Twilight just crossed her arms and waited it out, continuing on a little ways and stopping at her locker.
Sunset caught a few moments later, her textbook having been replaced with a stylish leather jacket. “Sorry, you’re just really cute when you’re flustered.” Twilight turned away to hide her blush. “Let me make it up you. You said the bus is in five minutes, so how about I give you some company while you wait?”
Twilight started at that. “Y-you want to wait for a bus with me?” She asked. She was faintly aware that her hand had started toying with a lock of her hair, and deliberately made it stop.
“Well, it’s more that I don’t want you to have to wait alone. Unless you’d rather just read a book, or something?” Sunset added. Twilight’s mind ground to a halt. It was very rare that someone — other than family or Cadance — wanted to spend time with her, just to spend time with her.
“I-” Her voice faltered, so she cleared her throat. “I’d l-like that a lot actually.” Excitement and nerves fought within her, and she focused her attention on her breathing for a few seconds to calm herself down as they continued towards the exit.
“So,” Sunset brought Twilight away form her buzzing thoughts. “What kind of hobbies do you have?”
Twilight gave it a moment’s thought. “I like books. My mom’s a writer, so I probably get that from her. I also like learning. That most likely comes from my dad, he teaches at Canterlot University. Between them, my parents have a sizable library at home. I read most of their books by the time I was eleven.” She giggled at the memory of her parents’ reaction when she demanded they get more books, because they didn’t have enough.
“That was kind of expected. Do have any other hobbies, though? Something that might surprise me?” Sunset challenged.
“I also play violin.” Twilight wilted slightly. “I never really had any friends, so I guess gravitated towards hobbies that I could do alone.” She hugged herself, and locked her eyes with the floor.
Soon they came too the schools exit, and Sunset held the door open for her. “Well,” Sunset said as they came outside into the cold. “I like reading and learning as well. But I also like riding my motorcycle when the weather allows me to. I enjoy music and drawing, and I like going to the mall with friends.” She hesitated for a moment before adding, “maybe we could do that last one together, see if you like it too?”
Twilight blushed. She’s inviting me to spend time outside of school? She could hear her own heartbeat at this point. “That would be great actually. I don’t go to the mall often.” Her voice was so timid, she wasn’t even sure Sunset had heard her.
“Great, are you free tomorrow after school?” Sunset asked with a smile.
Twilight giggled, “I’m free pretty much every day after school actually.” As she realized what she said, she blushed, then turned away and cleared her throat. “Anyway, It’s this way to the bus stop.” She pointed in the general direction, and started off, Sunset keeping up with her.
“We can head to the mall after our study session tomorrow, then.” Sunset said.
Twilight just smiled and nodded, not wanting to give her mouth any more chances to embarrass herself.
“Great, would you mind if I added you on MyStable? You know, just so we can keep in touch?”
Twilight reached for her phone, nearly dropping it again as she fumbled pulling it out of her pocket. Why are my hands so shaky today?
“S-sure. Yeah. Uhm.” She wasn’t really sure what to do here. This was all pretty new to her. “I-it’s, uhm, Twilight Sparkle.” Sunset started tapping on her own phone, and before long Twilight got a friend request. She held back a giggle as she accepted it.
They reached the bus stop, and stopped to face each other.
Twilight took a cursory glance at Sunset’s profile. “Huh,” She said, “you have even fewer friends than I do.” And that said a lot too, given she only had Shining and Cadance, plus a couple of cousins who she almost never saw. Sunset only had two.
“Yeah,” Sunset responded bitterly, “I used to have a lot more, but I recently did a bit of spring cleaning on my profile.”
Twilight raised her head to look at the now brooding girl. “Cadance told me that something had happened at your old school and that you wanted to get away from it.” She put on her best soft voice, instinctively trying not to provoke the almost-angry girl.
Sunset huffed. “Yeah, something like that. I don’t really want to go into detail right now, but I basically lost all my friends, and decided to get a fresh start.” She looked away for moment, before changing the subject. “So how come you decided to tutor the new kid when you already have a bunch of extra curricular projects going on?” Sunset asked.
Twilight looked down, playing with the hem of her skirt. “It was Cadance’s idea, actually. She wanted me to spend less time cooped up in my lab and to actually make some friends.”
“Oh. Are you and Dean Cadance close?” Sunset asked.
Twilight nodded. “She used to be my babysitter when I was little. That was years ago, but she still looks out for me even now.” She chuckled.
“That’s really sweet,” Sunset smiled.
They stood in silence a moment, before the bus came into view in the distance. Twilight moved to stand closer to the curb.
Turning to Sunset she said, “thanks for keeping me company. I’ll see you again tomorrow?” Twilight asked. She wasn’t entirely sure why she said that as though it was a question.
“Yep, I look forward to it.” Sunset responded as she stood back a little. The bus rolled up and Sunset gave Twilight a wave. “Bye.”
Twilight waved back before she got on the bus, smiling wide.
Stats
Page generated in 0.037 seconds
Total duration
1,068 users online
2,069,798 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wow. This is a great start to a story. Looking forward to reading more.
I’m enjoying this so far, can’t wait to read more!!
I havent started reading and yet already know that I'll like it
This is a breath of fresh air in terms of Anon-A-Miss fics.
Okay, color me intrigued...
9098166
So agreed with you on that.
I just started to read this story and I already have the feeling this is going to be a perfect story >:3 plz continue up the good work my friend!
9098193
The story has nine chapter, plus the prologue and an epilogue. It's about 40k words total.
I'm glad to see so many of you are enjoying the story already.
i look forward to the following chapters.
MY SHIP! YAY!
Very interesting way for an AaM story to be told, I don't think I have seen it before.
Looking forward to how this will be going
I'm impressed. Putting this one on the Tracking List!
Why is Sci-Twi doing Indigo's work? Bullying? Blackmail? The threat of pranks or physical violence?
I need moar! This story is great!
`Looking good so far.
I can already guess what had happened.
Anyway, I'm enjoying this story so far! I'm definitely tracking this!
Looking forward for the next chapter!
9098878
Thanks for the constructive criticism. I am still learning, so this kind of stuff is really helpful for me. Also, I did read Ezn's guide, but that was quite a while ago, Maybe I should refresh my memory on it.
I don't really want to make any changes to the chapter's that are already out (except for grammatical fixes), but I will keep this in mind for future chapters. Though, for the record, I do like the two paragraphs you suggested more.
You have my attention!
A good start. I can see why this got traction, it combines a popular ship with a unique... start... HANG ON!
sigh
I swear to god, if this is anon-a-miss, I'll be very disappointed. At this point, that's what it's leaning towards.
Ooo poor Sunset
, I'm anxiously waiting to see how this story will develop. Will the others regret it? Will Princess Twilight talk to the others to defend Sunset? Are they looking for Sunset? However, I know that Sci-Twi will be a great support for our beloved Sunset. 
I really enjoying this story can’t wait to read more!!
Regards!
PS: Sunlight4ever!
9098960
from what i can tell it is after anon a miss and sunny buns did not just accept a shitty "im sorry we cool" from the rainbooms.
9099057
If that is the case, I'll be disappointed. Anon-A-Miss stories are a dime-a-dozen. Each plot line has been tread before and I have a deep seated hatred for them. But this story? It's putting a different spin, having her start over in Crystal Prep. It's different, but why does it have to shackle itself to Anon-A-Miss?! It could've used a unique idea, could've easily made it a great new idea!
But instead, what do we have? Another Anon-A-Miss that will spawn another fifty copies within the week. Such wasted potential!
As for why Anon-A-Miss is bad? Its premise is flawed, characters act OOC, it's not canon, and, most importantly, it's a bad story. It's that simple. It's like people writing reaction fics to, say, Filly Vanilli or 12 Pranks Later. Yes, we all know those episodes sucked, but there's no need to use them as a basis for fifty million fics!
sigh
Alright, rant over. I do hope this story continues to move forward. The damage is done, now it can only profit off it.
9099070
HEY HERE A IDEA !
Don't like don't read, how about that. And Don't ruin this for everyone.
Jeeze so freaking tired of hearing this, i get you don't like anon A Miss stories, fine you don't have not a crime , but you have to get on some soap box and do this?
Not say every anti Anon A Miss reader goes bananas but heard enough rants.
9099099
And would that magically throw away my criticisms? Would that make my points any less valid?
I'm not commenting for your enjoyment. I'm not that altruistic. I'm commenting my opinion on a story I saw potential in and crying over it squandering it. Should I stay silent when the writer can learn from this, using a more unique idea to set up a premise for their story?
Yes, I do, because authors keep using it and the use detracts from the story. It has to compete not only with other stories, but also other anon-a-miss stories, conform to the general premise, and limit the potential. It has to go into a market already saturated and ask if it can saturate it further. This inspires more Anon-A-Miss writers to take up the torch and the cycle repeats.
I don't enjoy seeing an author waste their skills on a field that has been heavily and constantly plowed. I'd rather see AliceLiz be the next monochromatic with an original idea as opposed to just rehashing.
Sorry, but the complaints need to continue if the flow will ever be stemmed. Until we get a month of no anon-a-miss stories hitting the feature box, I have to object. At least this one doesn't go dark and edgy on us.
I’d have that same reaction, too if she looked like the only person who wouldn’t kill me after I turned into a She-demon, but wouldn’t be there because she’s in a dimension of sentient horse people.
9099057
I hope that the case love the idea of Sunset throwing their apologizes back in their faces.
If Apple Jack did the same thing as in the comics, telling Bloom of course they forgive her and her friends they're family line.....Yeah could see Sunset rip into them so hard they be in the burn ward for third degree burns.
9099116
Well, I hope you can get some enjoyment from the story regardless.
As for your point about these stories inspiring others, well if it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't have started writing yet, and might not have done so at all! I don't think that inspiring others isn't a bad thing, even if it sometimes results in mediocre copies.
Also,
Thanks, but I really don't think I'm that good.
9098483
Indigo definitely isn't phycally hurting Twilight, it's more that she's acting like Twilight's friend and pressuring her into 'helping'. Also, Twilight isn't putting up much resistance, she's just taking what she sees as the easier path by doing what Indigo says.
Neat story so far. The SciTwi perspective is a pretty neat idea (honestly surprised how little something like that). The execution is rather choppy, but the idea has me interested and I’m curious as to where this will go.
9099116
How does using Anon-A-Miss matter at all? It used the comic storyline as an excuse to have pre-FG Sunset in Crystal Prep and not be some AU where the first two movies didn’t happen (or came up with some contrived reason for Sunset to break away from her friends and transfer schools). This story doesn’t have to “conform” to anything, nor would any knockoffs down the line affect the quality of this story in any way. How does using the comic events as a springboard limit this story? Why does it matter that it has to “compete” with other Anon-A-Miss stories or that Anon-A-Miss is over saturated?
I'm getting the feeling SciTwi isn't going to get that essay done, Indigo's going to get upset and Sunset's gonna step in to save the day
I could be wrong though
9099174
So...its less "Indigo is a bully" and more "Twilight has little spine."
Interesting take on one of the most common Anon-A-Miss stories looking forward to where you go with this
So... there are going to be regular chapter uploads? I didn’t know my Christmas was coming early this year.
Following this. Also, you timed the movies pretty much how I did in my head. I always figured EqG1 happened in early fall, at the beginning of a school year, RR happened shortly before winter, and FG happened sometime in spring.
9099070
How about you speak for yourself, eh?
Okay, now THIS looks interesting. I've seen a handful of Anon-a-miss stories where Sunset gives up and transfer to CPA, but none not written from her perspective. You have my attention.
Either Anon-a-miss, or Wallflower managed to win in this AU. Either way, good luck surviving the trip to Everfree Camp, CHS. If it was the former, also good luck surviving Princess Twilight's wrath born by a sense of betrayal.
She's also got a glowing, vibrating journal that very likely contains an otherworldly script, that if you open it fast enough you can see being written down by seemingly absolutely no-one or anything. Didn't mention that, did she?
No apostrophe.
"Too, or...?" would be much better.
Forgot a space.
See previous comment.
"X did Y as Z", this implies that it all happened simultaneously, when the rest of the text implies that the beginning is happening currently and the latter happened at some point in the past.
Always go for a description rather than bold statement- a better way of saying this would be something along the lines of describing her current action (place yourself in a scene and write down what you'd hear/see/smell/etc), and the current surroundings (you can imply a character's mental state with how they/their POV describes their environment. Twilight is bored and has been sitting a while, so she'd probably focus on the blank walls, etc.)
Or just swap the 'as she' with a comma and adjust for grammar if you're going for a clean/barebones style.
I tend to write in a fairly prosaic, purple style interspersed with staccato sentences, myself, and have a bad habit of tending towards excessive wordiness.
Anon-A-Miss, damn those three!
F
K YOU, ANON-A-MISS!
Really like this story though. I shall continue reading!
"yess she date my older brother who is a cop." that should have been added,
Liar!
Underselling huh? You got something you want to tell us Twi?
You say that now.
Awe that was cute!
Oh, it's an Anon-A-Miss story. Welp.
9685860
Not really, I mean it's there but it's not the focus
9987265
Am kinda glad I haven't seen it for some reason
Recorded and forgotten. Everything is as usual. Synopsis as a psychological defense.
And Twi also in good hands
On the other hand, if Sunset did not stay at the Canterlot School, then perhaps she did not get better.
A very promising start!
Cool. She really has changed! Clever sunset.
Ah, the battle of the bands has already been, why did Sunset leave? Did they all have a fight there?
A wonderful living story, thank you)