Epilogue
At long last, Twilight Sparkle was free of her dreadful hangover. She had gone to bed a troubled, fretful mare, and had woke up feeling whatever it was that passed as normal. What was normal? She was a married mare now and the future of Equestria was a great, pressing weight upon her back. Mistakes had been made and consequences with uncertain outcomes loomed over her head like ominous, threatening thunderclouds.
What was normal, anyhow? At some point in her life, Twilight was certain that she knew, but now, as she rode on a train that carried her home, she doubted if she had ever been normal. She had been born noble, birthed from an exceptional, fabled bloodline. Every advantage, every privilege, every conceivable means of ensuring her success had been thought of. This was not normal.
Normal ponies struggled; they fought for every good thing they had in their lives and experienced great loss at every turn. They dreamed of success, of finding some clever way to achieve the impossible. The bake-off had been the battleground of what was normal, the field where many gathered to strive against the bonds of mediocrity.
Pinkie Pie had gone with a hope and a dream, no doubt longing to rise above, and Twilight knew that her very existence had overshadowed all of that. Her best friend’s victories were barely noticeable in the chaos that had unfolded. Pinkie had achieved what was a major accomplishment for her, but for Twilight, who had been distracted by everything else, it almost seemed an afterthought.
She felt terrible and would have to make up for it somehow. Pinkie deserved recognition for her accomplishments. She had made the best wedding cake in show and the most artistic dish in show, but these things—these momentous things—had been swept up in the chaos when the center began to unravel.
Rocked into a comforting lull by the swaying of the train, Twilight thought of what Applejack had said about this being the most normal thing she had ever done in her life. She had gone to Las Pegasus and had an… experience. Married while blackout drunk. Disgracing and shaming herself. She had utterly destroyed her credibility and good standing. Her reputation had been tossed into the gutter.
Yet, for whatever reason, some still believed in her.
“To avoid trouble,” said Twilight to her companions, “I’m going to teleport you home because I think it is best if we avoid the train station. There are bound to be reporters there, waiting for a scoop. Seville, Pinkie, I’ll be sending you to the castle… our castle… I guess… that feels weird to say. Applejack, I’ll have you back in Sweet Apple Acres in no time. As for me, I have to go to Canterlot to face the music. I have to hold myself accountable. Once I’ve done that, I’ll be home and we can sort everything out that needs sorting.”
“Are you sure you want to go alone?” Seville asked.
Twilight glanced at the earth pony sitting beside her. He had bedhead and his bright, cheerful green eyes were easy to get lost in. Before she made her reply, she turned away. “It’s best if I go alone. Celestia and I will need to talk. I won’t give her a chance to hold me accountable, because I plan to make it clear from the beginning that I’ll be doing that myself. I’m not sure how, though.”
“Twilight…”
“Yes, Pinkie?”
“Remember this one thing, Twilight.”
“What’s that, Pinkie?”
“Celestia is, first and foremost, your friend. Surely that can be counted on.”
Twilight was uncertain. Things had been said. Awful things. And those things had been printed in the papers. She had said stupid things, stupid untrue things that in her current sober state-of-being, she could not bear to think about. The parroting of common idiocy that came from those that didn’t have one iota of understanding about how things worked, or what Celestia protected them from. Just thinking of these words left a bad taste on Twilight’s tongue.
“If things do somehow go catastrophically wrong,” Pinkie said while pressing her hoof up against Twilight’s scruffle, “fall back on the old standard of offering her godmother status. She likes that… she finds it touching. If we have to, we’ll prey upon Celestia’s sentimentality. That’s her weakness, you know.”
“Pinkie, that seems so—mmmph!”
Now Pinkie’s hoof was pressed against Twilight’s lips. “Celestia is not our primary threat, Twilight. Trust me. I don’t know how much time we have, so we’ll need to prepare as much as possible. As soon as you get done sorting things out with Celestia, come home. Every second matters. This is a crisis unlike any other.”
“Pinks, just what are you going on about?” Seville lowered his newspaper and peered at the pink ponk over the top edge. “Is this that Nightmare Spoon thing you keep going on about?”
Reaching down with her free hoof, Pinkie Pie rubbed her plush backside and nodded.
“You’re a silly pony, Pinkie Pie,” Seville said as his face disappeared behind his newspaper.
“For once, it’s not me.” Looking pleased with herself, Applejack stared out the window and after sighing, she added, “Who’s not a silly pony? Applejack, that’s who.”
“Seville…” Pinkie’s words held an uncharacteristic solemnity. “Our only option might be for you to fronk a foal into me in a hurry.”
Again, Seville’s newspaper dropped and he squinted in disbelief at the fretful pink mare.
“The Element of Fertility is Nightmare Spoon’s only known weakness. It might be the only way to stop her rampaging destruction.” With one hoof still pressed against Twilight’s lips and the other rubbing her chubby backside, Pinkie Pie squirmed in her seat. “My Pinkie Sense is going crazy… it’s like we’re getting closer and closer to some great danger… some unspeakable evil. This might be the end of us.”
Ignoring Pinkie’s panic, Applejack chuckled, reached over, and pulled Pinkie’s hoof away from Twilight’s mouth. “Twi, I have a present for you. Some time back, when Rarity and I determined that sooner or later you and Seville would get hitched to the same wagon, I put aside a cask of my namesake in the cellar. It’s been aging for a few years now and probably has some real potency, if you get my meaning. I had plans to present it to you during your royal wedding, but I think it’ll do fine for the honeymoon.”
“Really, Applejack? More drinking?” Then, after a moment, Twilight reconsidered. “That’s actually really sweet of you, thinking of my future like that. I’m touched.”
“It might make your nuptials a bit easier, if’n you catch my meaning. Just enough to relax ya… but you don’t have to get hammered. I want you to be happy, Twi. I want your marriage to work. Mine didn’t. I married for all the wrong reasons, such as he was available, and he had a handsome enough face that I reckon that I didn’t mind looking at it when I first woke up, and there was the fact that he was hung like a firehose.”
A fierce blush crept up Twilight’s neck.
“Those aren’t good reasons to marry, Twilight, and I paid for it, I reckon.” Reaching up, Applejack pushed her hat back away from her eyes. “But you… you done lucked out. You’ve got you some helpers for your great work. Just the right ponies for the job, I reckon. The perfect ponies for the job. They’re your friends, Twilight. One of them is the only pony who can deal with your depressive states and the other shares your eggheaded ways. The only way this can go wrong is if you make it go wrong. What I’m trying to say is, this can only go right. So, drinks are on me, Twilight Sparkle. I wish you a long, prosperous, and happy union.”
“Thank you, Applejack.” Twilight wasn’t sure what else to say, but she felt that more words were definitely needed. “Bring Big Mac and Sugar Belle over and we’ll do married ponies stuff… whatever that might be.”
“That”—Applejack paused and her green eyes twinkled—“is mighty kind of ya.”
“We could form a bowling league,” Seville said from behind his newspaper.
“That’d be all kinds of fun.” Applejack grinned a sincere grin and the warmth in her expression rivaled that of the sun shining through the window.
“My Pinkie Sense is driving me crazy… it’s almost as if the danger is right there in Ponyville!”
Twilight manifested in a crackling shower of aetherfire sparks and as she folded her wings against her sides, she took stock of her surroundings. Gosling stood nearby, and even with her impaired vision, she could see the smirk upon his face. Not far away from Gosling was Radiance, who stood balanced upon a large ball. This was a curious sight and she found herself immediately distracted by the earth pony colt with rubbery, wobbly legs trying to remain upright on top of a ball that looked as though it belonged in a circus.
“Look what we have here, small colt of mine. Behold the radical that would bring ruination to us Royals.”
Twilight cringed so hard that there was a squeak.
Saying nothing else, Gosling advanced and with his every step, Twilight marvelled at just how large and imposing he had become since his ascension. He was the largest of the alicorns by far, though Shining Armor had a far, far sturdier, stockier build. But Gosling was intimidatingly large, a graceful, beautiful creature made of legs, neck, and wings, in very much the same way that Celestia was legs, neck, and wings. Gosling was Celestia and Luna’s counterpart in every conceivable way.
At this moment, Twilight felt rather small and insignificant.
Before she could react or respond, Gosling swept her up in his immense wings, lifting her from the floor with no discernable effort. He smelled a bit like celery soda and colour crayons. Squirming, Twilight wasn’t sure why she wanted to slink away, but this affectionate greeting was almost unbearable when she was expecting a lecture.
“Celestia said that you’d appear here,” he said while squeezing. “She said that you always appear here when you arrive troubled. I think it has something to do with the stained glass reminding you of your triumphs.”
Upon hearing this, she went limp in his embrace, but hardly dared to breathe.
“I’m really very happy for you,” he whispered to Twilight.
Then, without further ado, he gently placed Twilight back down upon the floor.
Recovering herself, Twilight let out a huff of relief and gave herself a shake. Radiance was looking at her, watching her, while also struggling to maintain his balance. She glanced around the room, which was more of a long hall, and her eyes went from stained glass window to picturesque stained glass window. Many of them were images of her and her friends.
“I have to know, what’s the deal with Radiance?” Extending her left wing, she pointed at the precariously balanced colt standing atop the large, colourful ball.
“Oh, him.” Gosling rubbed his chin with the knuckle of his wing. “He’s convinced himself that he’s going to be a circus pony. Right now he’s working on balance. He goes everywhere by rolling himself around on that ball and he’s stopped talking for the most part, because for some reason, he thinks circus clowns are silent.”
“Oh, he’s confused with mimes,” Twilight replied.
Gosling shrugged his wings. “That’s what I think as well.”
Scrunching his face, Radiance gave them both an exaggerated scowl.
“Don’t you even give me that kind of look, you stinky little tail-fluffing hooligan!” Waving his wings about in a crazed manner, Gosling advanced on his son, menacing him like some giant maniacal bird of prey. “I bet a little tickle would give you a real test of balance!”
“No!” Radiance howled as he ran forwards, which caused the ball to roll backwards. “No! Stay away! No! I’ll fall! My hooves haven’t touched the floor all day!”
The colt’s panicked reaction was a bit too much, and he leaned too far over to one side. When he tried to fix his balance, he overcorrected and took a tumble towards the hard stone floor. Mere inches from disaster, Gosling caught his son, lifted him aloft with a clumsy tug of telekinesis, and stood him atop the ball. Before dimming his gleaming white horn, he made sure that Radiance had found his balance once more; it was then, and only then, that Gosling let go.
“Nobody saw that,” Gosling said. “We’re going to pretend that my son wasn’t about to eat the floor and get yet another bloody nose under my watch. We’re going to pretend everything is fine and good.”
“I ain’t sayin’ nuttin—”
“Radiance, don’t talk like a hooligan, you’ll give your mothers fits.” Folding his wings against his sides, Gosling turned to face Twilight once more. “Did you see anything, wife of my best friend?”
“Nope.”
“Good answer. That’s what we like to hear around here in Canterlot Castle. Full cooperation.” Gosling’s eyes narrowed. “You’d better be good to my best friend.”
Before Twilight could respond, Radiance blurted out, “Good save, Dad. You didn’t almost crush me into goo this time.”
“And that’s important,” Gosling said to his son while keeping his eyes on Twilight. “I’m no good at this magic stuff—”
“You stink on ice—”
“Radiance… so help me… I just saved you from eating the floor! Show some gratitude!”
“You saved yourself another lecture about being an inattentive boob,” the colt retorted.
Astonished, Twilight blinked once, twice, and thrice. Was this normal?
“He’s gonna kill me for saying this, but Seville has been carrying a torch for you for the longest time. Let him be good to you. Also, being a good leader means delegation of responsibility and stepping back so they can work unhindered. Let Seville work for you. There’s a lot of work to be done.”
“Work?” Twilight’s eyebrow arched and she had the feeling that Gosling knew something she didn’t.
“Seville attends the morning intelligence briefings. He knows policy. Both he and I, we were schooled in the art of rule together. Looking back on it, it was good having a classmate, but beyond that, I can see why this was arranged. It was done with the future in mind.” Gosling cocked his head off to one side in a birdlike manner. “These alicorn senses are something else, ain’t they? Just the knowing of stuff. Eh, anyway... Seville knows the nuts and bolts of running an empire. You make sure that you take advantage of that.”
“I will.” Feeling nervous, but also relieved, Twilight sucked in a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then let it all out in a slow huff.
“Princess Celestia will see you now.”
The sound of Raven’s voice almost caused Twilight to jump right out of her skin.
“Just for your own sake, Twilight… I would avoid the Royal Treasury Department for the foreseeable future.” Raven’s voice was calm, cool, and held no trace of emotion. “Your picture has replaced Blueblood’s on the dartboards. I’m a little miffed with you, actually. Blueblood prided himself on that honour, and you callously took it away from him in a single trip to Las Pegasus. He is… distraught.”
Dejected, anything and everything that could droop on Twilight did.
“Millions, Twilight. Millions. And this is before the tabulated costs of damages to the city of Las Pegasus and the construction of a gingerbread castle.” Raven clucked her tongue while shaking her head from side to side. “I can almost sympathise with those anal-retentive weirdos in the Royal Treasury Department.”
“Ugh!” Twilight ground her teeth together and wondered what Celestia would have to say.
“Twilight is a bad pony,” Radiance remarked.
“Yes she is, Radiance, but then again, so are you, and we love you anyway.”
“Is Mama going to lecture Twilight?” the colt asked, somehow balancing while studying his serious-faced father.
“I think Twilight is going to lecture Twilight,” Gosling replied, “and Mama is going to listen and nod her head in that annoying way she does.”
“Oh.” Radiance visibly cringed. “Good luck, Twilight.”
“Yeah, good luck, Twilight.” Extending one wing, Gosling offered a jaunty, but sincere salute.
“I want those requisition forms in triplicate.” Raven stood stiff-legged and ramrod straight with her ears forming fine spear points. “And if there is so much as a smudge I’ll require a resubmission of all forms. Now get in there, Twilight. Celestia is a busy pony.”
Head held low, Twilight headed for the huge double doors…
Princess Celestia’s throne room was not as Twilight remembered it. The walls were almost bare, the fabulous rugs spread over the floor were gone, and the opulent furnishings removed. Where beautiful tapestries once hung, there was now only barren, blank space. In the middle of the room, Twilight came to an almost stumbling stop while rubbernecking to take everything in.
“You took from me a most valuable servant.”
These were not the words she expected from Celestia and Twilight, in a fit of anxious worry, chewed upon her bottom lip. To be honest, she wasn’t sure what she expected, not at all, but this showed that Celestia had very different priorities, no doubt due to her untold centuries of exceptional rule. Valuable, exceptional servants only lived for so long and Celestia could only get so much use out of them before they grew too old to serve.
“You took from my offspring their beloved uncle,” said Celestia, who stood rooted to the spot.
Caught off guard, Twilight could say or do nothing in her own defense.
For the first time since entering, Twilight noticed that Celestia was just as bare and plain as her throne room. No crown, no regalia, not even her golden shoes. It was rare to see Celestia in such a way. Each piece was fraught with meaning, had a history, and symbolised some great aspect of her rule.
The crown symbolised the tribe of unicorns, for theirs was the right to rule. Twilight could not help but see this symbolism in a different way now, an unpleasant way that left her more than a little cringy with shame. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her own birth culture, but she was disturbed about the long-held belief that it was their birthright to rule over others.
Four golden shoes came from the pegasus ponies, a symbol of peacetime. Gold and silver were soft precious metals, thoroughly unfit for war. Not a shoe meant for kicking, nor fighting, nor the conquest of continents. Iron and steel were the shoes for war, and Celestia had long worn gold as the symbol of her reign.
As for the peytral, it symbolised the strength of the earth ponies and the power of their chieftains. Only the biggest and strongest among them could stand with such a weight around their neck. A symbol of uncontested strength, it was also a yoke of bondage, as earth ponies had a long heritage of civil service.
“I’m sorry,” a thoroughly unnerved Twilight blurted out. “I never meant those things I said… I… I… I can’t even imagine me saying them. I’m sorry for all of the things I’ve done! I know I’ve messed up, and I’m sorry. I really, really am.”
Celestia’s only response was a cool gaze.
“I messed up and I ruined everything. Look, I understand if you’re angry. I’m kinda expecting that. If you are trying to find a gentle way to relieve me of my duties, don’t bother. I don’t deserve that. Say the word and I’ll step down. I’ll spare you the headache of a public announcement and I will castigate myself in front of the ponies of Equestria for you.”
Celestia slid into smooth movement like a swan slipped into water. Such grace and majesty, such fluidity, such beauty; Twilight knew that she lacked such grace, she lacked the legs and the delicate, slender form. Unable to look, unable to bear such majesty bearing down upon her, Twilight Sparkle squeezed her eyes shut while fighting back the sobs that wracked her body.
The soft, tickly embrace of downy wings wrapped around her, and with them, an almost furnace-like warmth. For the second time this day, Twilight was lifted from her hooves. Sniffling, she squirmed, because somehow, this was even worse than being chewed out. Being chewed out would be a relief; it would ease up the pressure and then she could move on.
“This is the hardest lesson to learn,” whispered Celestia to Twilight. “But one that, for you, was sorely needed. I’m proud of you.”
“Proud of me?” Twilight’s eyes fluttered open, revealing a world that had turned white and feathery. She squirmed, trying to wiggle her body around to have a better look at Celestia. “How can you be proud of me?”
“Because it was time that you learned how to rule with ponies who truly hated you.” Smiling, Celestia placed Twilight down and when the smaller mare’s hooves were flat on the floor, the larger mare took a moment to caress Twilight’s cheek. “For too long, you’ve laboured to be everypony’s friend, Twilight. This is not a bad thing. It has served an admirable purpose. But now, other things are expected of you. Great things. And for this, you must be a ruler—not a friend to the ponies of Equestria.”
“Expected of me? Great things?” Twilight blinked upwards at Celestia and noticed that her eyes were different. “I’m so confused right now.”
“I am effectively abdicating—”
“You can’t!” Twilight cried.
“But I must, Twilight.” What Twilight saw in Celestia’s eyes was sadness, terrible, crushing sadness. “I can’t be a mother, fight a war, and be the ruler Equestria needs. I thought I could, but I cannot. I will still be the princess that the little ponies expect me to be in image only. As of right now, I am passing the rule of Equestria to you, Cadance, and Shining Armor. Luna and I must concentrate our efforts upon the war. If we do not, we will lose. Equestria will fall. Everything we know and love will burn.”
Stupefied, Twilight continued blinking while her jaw hung slack. To hear Celestia say such things was disconcerting. She struggled to process everything that had just been said and her mind recoiled in denial. Shaking her head from side to side, she wanted to say no, but the words would not come. After just shaming herself in Las Pegasus, she was not fit for rule.
“I am finally in a position to do great things for the world,” Celestia said in a low voice that held an uncertain, perhaps fearful waver. “For so many years, I ruled alone. With few I trusted. I saw that the world had problems, but there was little I could do. Luna was gone. I had to pick my battles carefully. I had to pick and choose my engagements. Worst of all, I had to allow bad things to happen so I could keep Equestria safe.”
Twilight backed up and while retreating, continued to shake her head from side to side.
“But now, I finally have those I can trust. Gosling rules Canterlot and maintains the inner circles of power. The nobles flock around him and the old ways are experiencing a revival. I have Cadance, and Shining Armor has finally come to his senses. As for you… you have learned a great lesson, and I feel that you are truly ready. I worried if the Princess of Friendship could endure being hated. I must confess, I had, and still have, some grave concerns. But you will survive this. Equestria has a friendship problem, Twilight, and this is your expertise, not mine.”
“How do I get started?” There was a faint squeak when Twilight recoiled in horror from the betrayal of her own mouth. How could she say that? Those were not the words she wanted to say, not at all. She just kept getting herself into trouble and she hated herself more than a little bit at the moment.
“I’m so glad that you asked, little Twilight.” Though sadness remained in Celestia’s eyes, her expression was now amused. “To start, make allies with Bourgogne Blintz—”
“Wait, what‽”
“She is a powerful cult of personality, Twilight. The two of you have something in common… a shared common ground, if you will. Both of you left Las Pegasus humiliated and shamed. She could be an enemy, Twilight… or an asset. I have dealt with her on a number of occasions and she possesses a number of qualities that make her exceptional. Waste not an asset, Twilight.”
Eyes narrowing, Twilight stared up at her mentor with absolute disbelief plain upon her face.
“Don’t let her become another Mariner, Twilight. Surely by now you’ve learned of the plight of the earth ponies. Let that lesson sink in. They are arguably our strongest asset, but also our greatest threat. Their discontent reaches unfathomable levels and to be quite honest, I’ve been living in fear of a major fracture for quite some time. Mister Mariner, the threat that you saw and that I failed to take seriously, he harnessed that discontent. If you don’t do something, somepony else will also harness that discontent, and that somepony might very well be Bourgogne Blintz. A harnessed earth pony can do nothing but pull, Twilight. It is in their nature. The smartest among them will know their own inner nature better than anypony else and will know how to exploit it.”
Grim acceptance settled into the lowest reaches of Twilight’s thoughts. She studied Celestia’s face, trying to read the ancient visage, but with her current eyes it was difficult to translate. This felt difficult, though not impossible. She had made a mess and now she had to clean it up. Her public image had been damaged, but not destroyed. It could be repaired.
“Keep your promises, Twilight. Even if they are bad promises, you should keep them. It is better that a ruler keep a bad promise than break it. Somepony I know recently reminded me about promises.” Celestia stared down her muzzle in a meaningful way at Twilight. “In fact, in an effort to keep my promises, I realised that something had to give. The promises I make to my foals are just as important as any other promises I make.”
“Understood.” Twilight nodded and felt a little pride. She had been the one to rake Celestia over the coals about promises. Thinking about her mentor’s words, she understood that by keeping awful promises and living with the consequences, she would be more careful about the promises she made in the future. This could work out. So this meant that there was a massive gingerbread castle in her future.
“Twilight… there is a matter I am hesitant to speak of, but that I am somewhat upset about…”
At first, Twilight’s ears pricked, but then almost right away they fell into a submissive position. Here it was, the lecture she had been waiting for. Leaning forward, eager, she awaited the verbal destruction that she most certainly deserved.
“I am an old mare,” Celestia began, “who is set in her ways and prideful. I am fully aware that it could be my undoing, and I’m getting better about it. But you… you destroyed something very dear to me—”
“I destroyed a lot of things and I’m so sorry!” Dropping her head down, Twilight pranced in place and felt a most delightful, welcome sense of panic. The catharsis she needed was about to happen. At last, sweet, sweet accountability.
“You destroyed my record. I’m pretty sure of it. The Royal Archivists are checking, because we used rods back then and have different measurements now.”
Confused, Twilight lifted her head and blinked, because she had no idea what Celestia was speaking of. “Uh…”
“”Don’t you ‘uh’ me, you little twerp.” Eyes narrowing, Celestia’s demeanour shifted to something far more aggressive. “You know what you did. That was supposed to be an impossible distance. I cannot let this slight stand between us. There will be a reckoning.”
So this is what it felt like to be an equal. It meant being subjected to the full brunt of Celestia’s ire. Nope, Twilight didn’t like it at all and she longed to a return to the good old days, when she was the student and Celestia was her mentor. Back when ire was measured carefully and doled out in teeny, tiny little pony sized servings. She still wasn’t sure what Celestia was so upset about, but it had to be bad. Right now, it felt as though she was about to get a sunburn just from Celestia staring at her in such a manner.
“For months and months I trained my bladder, Twilight, knowing that I had to impress the soldiery and improve morale during those harsh winter months. Two full rods, Twilight. Two full rods. Enough to clear the sandpit where fights took place. It was a record that no mortal pony could ever hope to match.”
Suddenly, Twilight understood what she had done to tweak Celestia’s nose.
“Oh… you know, you smarmy little purple pisser.” Leaning her head down, Celestia placed her muzzle next to Twilight’s ear. “I will get that record back, see if I don’t.”
For lack of a better response, Twilight gulped; it was her only course of action.
“I can’t remember how long a rod is,” Celestia whispered. “It’s been a very long time.”
Sixteen and a half feet, Twilight thought to herself. Some of the shame of what had taken place in Las Pegasus was replaced with pride—terrible, dreadful, awful pride. Celestia’s sudden chortles jolted Twilight from her thoughts, and turning her head, she looked up at her former mentor, longing for a return of the days when they were student and teacher, apprentice and master. The glorious days when mistakes weren’t so costly.
“This is a happy moment for me.” Celestia pulled her head away and the sound of feathers against a silken pelt could be heard by Twilight. “I have long dreamt of you getting married, Twilight. For many reasons, mind you. Not just for the sake of your own happiness, but so that you might have a rich, rewarding, fulfilling life. And now here you are. Soon you will go home and do what married ponies do… and I dare say that you will become fixated with that aspect.”
A wordless squeak escaped through Twilight’s tight-pressed lips.
“Oh, trust me, you will. And being an eggheaded, scholarly sort, you will approach it with the scientific method in mind, and you will treat it as a time of discovery. For this, you will need somepony to talk with. I sincerely hope that the somepony you share these moments with happens to be me.”
Mortified, Twilight longed for a cool breeze for her burning body.
“Equals talk to one another about these things, Twilight, and I long to be equals.”
“O-o-okay,” Twilight stammered.
“This was your final test… and one I hoped that you would fail.” The mirth vanished from Celestia’s face. “I must confess, I had to work very hard to rig the game so that you would fail. In this instance, failure was success. You might’ve gone to Las Pegasus and had a very normal, boring time, the sort of time that you tend to have, and then nothing would have been accomplished. Nothing would have been learned or gained. But now look at you. Down here on the bottom with the rest of us… publicly hated. Despised, maybe. And it’s not the end of the world!”
“No, no I suppose it isn’t.” Perplexed, Twilight pondered the nature of a test where the only success was failure. She thought of her encounter with the police officer during her final moments in Las Pegasus. “I guess this somehow proves that I am ready to rule Equestria in your stead?”
“Very much so, Twilight. Try not to burn it to the ground while I am busy saving it and the world. One day, it is my hope that when all of this is finally over, you and I might share an equal sense of rule. Together. That is, perhaps, the most perfect form of friendship.”
“My eyes have been opened,” Twilight said whilst she drew closer to Celestia. “I had this moment of perfect understanding. What if I bring a disadvantaged foal into this world? I started to wonder how I would protect them and I freaked out a little bit because I knew at that point that I was oblivious to so many of these problems and I couldn’t even save my friends when trouble happened. I felt so weak, worthless, and blind. I felt so… inadequate. On stage, I had this moment of absolute clarity… that I’m not sure if I can put into words.”
“And that, Twilight, was the moment that you were finally ready to rule in my stead.”
“But I don’t have the answers… I haven’t got everything sorted out yet. I’m still confused by everything that I’ve just found out existed—”
“Yes, my beloved dear one… you have gained awareness. Cadance, being a powerful empath, developed it early on. Too early, perhaps… it caused her a tremendous number of problems and I suspect that it stymied her development for a time. She became aware of too much, too soon, before she was ready to deal with it, to process it. You on the other hoof, you have come into this awareness at the most perfect moment in your life. Twilight, you do your best when you learn as you go. Trust me when I say, you will sort all of this out, make sense of it, and you will pick up all of the pieces, put them together in a way that makes sense, and you will make for a fine ruler that allows Equestria to prosper.”
A great weight settled upon Twilight’s back, but an even greater one could be felt upon her head. Though she wore no crown at the moment, she was keenly aware of its existence. Her life was no longer her own, but Equestria’s—and that was fine. After a lifetime of preparation, this was fine. This was just another project—life was a series of projects—and she allowed herself to feel confident about the situation.
“Go home, Twilight. Make memories. Settle in.”
That was it then. The lecture that Twilight came for wasn’t going to happen. Tilting her head, she looked up at Celestia, who was looking down at her. No crown. No regalia. No vestments of rule. A throne room that was almost empty. While Twilight wanted to go home, she had a few final questions that she just had to ask.
“This room”—Twilight made a sweeping gesture with her wing—“what will become of it?”
“It will be repurposed into my war room. A place of command.”
Twilight nodded and could not help but feel a little sad. The most important space in Equestrian politics was being repurposed as a war room, a place where violence was planned out with scholarly efficiency. She would have to entertain supplicants in Ponyville. Allowing that many strangers into her castle… she would need guards. Upon thinking of this, Twilight heaved a sigh.
“And what of Equestria’s final royal asset? I was mentioned, along with my brother, Shining Armor, and Cadance. What of Dim? I would be remiss as a ruler if all assets were not accounted for.” Twilight saw a troubled look upon Celestia’s face, but only for a moment, and then it was gone, replaced by a marble mask.
“The less I tell you about Dim the better,” Celestia replied. “His work demands secrecy. You will get a compendium of classified information for your careful perusal, but not in this realm. I fear that no place is truly safe from scrying eyes.”
“Understood.” Twilight nodded while saying the word.
“Anything else?” Celestia gave herself a shake and had a bit of a shiver, a common reaction when Dim was mentioned.
“Am I allowed to destroy Equestria’s dependence upon a monetary system? There is an illusion that needs to be dispelled. We’d be better off without it.”
Celestia’s expression became rather deadpan. “And replace it with what? No… no, now is not the time. We’ll discuss this later. For now, please, please, do not burn Equestria to the ground for the sake of change. Little incremental changes are good. Society destroying changes are bad.”
“Fair enough.” Twilight rather enjoyed Celestia’s reaction, and she smiled.
“Go home, Twilight.” Celestia’s deadpan expression turned gentle.
“Before I go, I think I need one final hug…”
With a burst of brilliant magenta light, Twilight winked into existence into her own private apartment within her castle. The study was dim, lit only by a few glowing artifacts in display cases, and everything was just how she had left it. She was almost certain that she would find Seville here, because her study was his favourite room.
Twilight left her study, headed down the hall, and stuck her head into the parlour. Nothing. The lights were off, the room was dark, and the only sound was the ticking of the massive mechanical clock. Pinkie Pie liked the parlour because it was a great room to entertain guests. It was a warm room of great comfort and Twilight was surprised to find that it was empty.
Hearing a faint sound, Twilight’s ears pricked. The dining room? That made sense; when ponies were hungry, they ate. Clearly, somepony must be hungry. Maybe Spike made nachos. Now, Twilight found that she was hungry, and licking her lips, she headed off for the dining room, hoping that there was something to eat.
Throwing open the ginormous double doors, the first thing that Twilight saw was Spike cuddling with their mother. Then, Twilight’s brain registered that her mother, Twilight Velvet, was visiting. Beside her mother was her father, which seemed logical and right, but also horrible and terrifying. Sitting beside her father, Night Light, was Maud Pie, and beside Maud…
“Twilight, we’re busted.”
“Sit down.”
Whirling about, Twilight discovered Cloudy Quartz behind her. How? She began backing away, fearful, terrified beyond reason. With every step that Twilight took, Cloudy advanced. For a moment, Twilight thought about spreading her wings and asserting her princessly dominance, but then she realised just how much of a bad idea that was.
“I believe I told you to sit down,” Cloudy said. “Just who do you think you are, making my daughter drag our good family name through the mud?”
“Uh…” Twilight swallowed, licked her lips, and wanted to look for a chair but didn’t dare take her eyes off of the advancing mare that was now also her mother. Cloudy was scary; there was something vaguely magical about it but Twilight couldn’t discern what it was, though she had sensed similar magic coming from Lemon Hearts.
“What were you thinking, behaving in such a manner?”
“Pinkie slipped me some mead with a potion and that made me go loco in the coco—”
“Oh.” Cloudy froze and stood stiff legged. “Is that so, Pinkamena Diane Pie?”
“Way to throw me under the wagon, Twilight.”
Something brushed up against Twilight and she almost jumped right out of her skin. When she turned around, she almost smacked into Tarnish. He said nothing, but herded her towards a chair, inserting himself between her and Cloudy, a risky thing to do. Upon reaching her chair, Twilight sat down and then had a look around the table. Seville was sitting between Octavia and Vinyl, holding little Alto Clef in the crook of his foreleg. Sly Pie was colouring on the floor. Of Pebble, there was no sign, but Twilight guessed that she was with Sumac.
“We’re missing some parents,” Twilight said, hoping to somehow postpone her impending doom.
“Bitter Orange and Citrus Blossom will be arriving shortly. We’re having them flown in.” Twilight Velvet smiled and gave Spike an affectionate squeeze. “And once they arrive, we’ll be sorting out this marriage issue.”
“Oh.” Twilight slumped over in her seat, but she didn’t dare sass her mother.
Cloudy stormed off, her hooves striking the floor like hammer blows, and she sat down beside her husband, Igneous, who was drinking a mug of something hot. Twilight, glancing over at Spike, felt a little envious. Spike was her dragon; she had raised him from an egg. Unsure of how to feel about everything, Twilight took a deep breath and had a good look around.
“Welcome home, Twilight,” Maud deadpanned. “We’re thinking of having my sister’s name changed to Mud. Mud Pie. Fitting, don’t you think?”
Saying nothing, Twilight poured herself a cup of tea, added far too much sugar, and tossed in a wedge of crystalised lemon. Her gaze came to rest upon Seville, who was making gookie faces at little Alto. Hearing what sounded like an angry intake of breath, she turned to look at Cloudy, who was getting shushed by her husband.
Twilight deserved this. In a way, this was just what she needed; a family that loved her enough to hold her accountable, and what a family she had now. Seeing Spike and her mother together, Twilight’s heart softened a bit and she somehow relaxed just a little. Feeling a light touch, Twilight turned to look at Tarnish and saw an expression of gentle affection on his face, as well as one of understanding.
“It gets better, Twilight,” he whispered. “Cloudy was certain that Pinkie would be the one that would give her the chance to have a big lovely wedding. A mother has dreams. It’s funny, Twilight… Maud and I eloped… and yet Maud has these dreams about Pebble having a lavish wedding. She and her mother have a lot in common now. One day, you might as well.”
This struck Twilight with terrific force and she sat blinking, unsure of how to respond to it. Screwing her courage to the sticking place, Twilight knew what she had to do to make things right. Clutching her fetlocks together, she twisted around in her seat so that she might face Cloudy.
“Cloudy”—the word came out raspy and far too scratchy, but Twilight continued—“would you see to it that I get a proper wedding? Something grounded in earth pony tradition? It would mean a lot to me.”
The room went silent and Twilight went from dry to parched.
With a single eyeblink the hard, stony expression on Cloudy’s face softened. The mare’s stern, flinty countenance turned maternal. Twilight could feel her own mother’s eyes boring into her, and her father’s as well. Tarnish touched her again, but she did not turn around, she did not break eye contact with Cloudy.
“You would let me do that?” Cloudy asked.
“Yes,” was Twilight’s response.
“I’m sorry that I was cross with you.”
“I think it’s kind of warranted, actually. I never meant to drag the Pie name through the mud. I never meant to take away your chance to give your daughter the wedding she deserves. I didn’t mean to do a lot of things that happened recently, and I would like a chance to make things right. I am fully aware of the fact that I made a mess. Now it is time to settle down and face the consequences.”
Cloudy’s lower lip protruded in a thoughtful expression.
“You and Pinkie could make a wedding cake together. She’s really good at it, I have proof.” Ears perking, Twilight knew that how she smoothed this over was now a test of princessly aptitude. She could just banish everypony from her castle to get the peace and quiet she so desperately wanted, but that would accomplish nothing. Here, she had a chance to be diplomatic.
“Very well, I accept your peace offering.” Cloudy’s ears splayed out sideways and she turned to look at Twilight Velvet. “Are there any unicorn traditions that we could mix in?”
“Perhaps.” Twilight Velvet now wore an amused expression while she continued to cuddle Spike.
Smiling, Twilight relaxed a little. “Cloudy, I look forward to making things right with you.”
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They should really heed the warning of Prophet Pie.
I don't know what Nightmare Spoon could be - possibly Silver Spoon's inner demon? probably not - but it sounds either ridiculously silly or powerful. Possibly both.
9193161
Nightmare Spoon = Cloudy Quartz.
9193162 Oh. I mean... she is powerful, so I was kind of right. And I dunno if that means some percussive punishment, or what, but it sounds entertaining, at the least.
9193161 by the time they got the warning it was too late
And so, another chapter in the Game of Pones closes.
Damn it, I can only like a story once!
Ug my mind.... as amazing as this story was, of all the things I could talk about, and my mind is stuck on the fact Twilight shot a stream of pee more than 33 feet to beat Celestia...
9193349
Honestly I enjoyed this story immensely. It was cool the way you tied in Alicorn Gosling. Though this now begs the question: Will we get to see this Earth Pony focused Marriage Ceremony?
9193367
Unfortunately, the completed tag is in place.
9193388
Well I didn't know if it would get covered in another story, considering how non-linear your writing is. Never know what exactly we will or will not see that is mentioned in your various stories.
hmm, one sentence and nightmare spoon hast been foiled, hail Sporkis
Magnificent! This story has been a joy to read and follow. I can't wait to see the next turn the weedverse goes down! So, Celestia, Luna, and Dim will prosecute the war, while Gosling, Twilight, Cadance, and Shiny will rule. With Sumac as a wild card as he grows. Glorious! Grogar is in for it now!
I'm looking forward to a lot of things that stem from this story, but two of the higher items on the list are Sparklekinder, and Sola Invicta picking up her war hammer again.
Dang this is BIG. I can see why House of the Rising Sun had to be put on hold until this information was revealed. Really well done story once again, it's fun when everything clicks into place for the final chapter like this!
An enjoyable story that opens up lots of new possibilities, both in worldbuilding and in interpersonal relationships.
I like that Twilight had the foresight to ask Celestia if it was OK to "...destroy Equestria’s dependence upon a monetary system?" Even though Celestia turned her down, Twilight can now likely get away with doing lots of crazy things, so long as they are less radical than that. Celestia has been made aware that any less radical action is a compromise on Twilight's part.
Twilight has primed the terms of future debate with Celestia, and expanded the Overton Window towards more radical solutions.
I still feel that Twilight's bender could have been avoided, and lessons still learned. I also disagree with Celestia, since Twilight is all about friendship, so she could probably pull off being the friendly, unhated royal.
But climbing high just to then fall low is a story arch not too often used. Good story, Kudz.
Great story! Also, first time I’ve seen use of an interrobang on this site.
9193896
Ah, but Twilight is paralysed at the idea of failure and being hated.
Imagine a bad diplomatic dinner where she yaks on yak.
By failing now and learning how to cope with these upsets, she'll be better prepared for yakking on yak in future.
An idea, on how to keep the ginger bread castle promise without wasting taxpayer money to much: Castle-styled convention Center/hotel with a modular exterior, run by the crown. Make Ponyville a destination for all kinds of themed conventions, while making it pay for itself back over a few years.
9193907
Oh, definitely.
A plan involving public urination contests just seems like a Plan B sort of thing, is all I'm saying.
I still don't like the attitude of the royals towards Shining Armor's ascension. We know that the Alicorns are a race that was bio-engineered by the Centaurs and that they are somewhat flawed in a number a ways, and yet Celestia treats the Alicorns as the strictly superior pony race. Her saying that Shining Armor has "come to his senses" regarding his ascension just doesn't sit right with me, and I just feel like he has been peer pressured into giving up his identity because the other royals believed he was wasting his potential by clinting to his "inferior" race.
Maybe Alicorns really are superior to other tribes in every conceivable way, but the expression "came to his senses" really makes Celestia look like a pro-alicorn tribalist.
9194020
well, to start with, I'm not arguing your interpretation. That said, when I read that line, i got the impression it was said more in a " He finally stopped wasting his potential " kind of implication. That said, I've a habit of doing devil's advocate.
9194126
Well yeah she obviously meant it that way, but it still feels wrong to me that choosing to be closer to his people is seen as a "waste of potential". It implies that she thinks alicorns are so far above the other tribes that not being one when you could is a wrong thing, that a mere unicorn could never be as great or do as much as an alicorn.
And maybe that's actually the case, who knows, but the way Celestia talks about it disturbs me a lot. "Come to his senses" sounds so arrogant to me. It was his choice to stay a unicorn, and Celestia was of the opinion to force the ascension on him rather than respect his choice. She somehow believes alicorns are so above everyone else that it warrants breaking one's trust and force a change they don't want on them. It feels so wrong to me and I can't help but wonder if this is just Celestia or if this is something that comes with the ascension, and all alicorns think of the other races in the same way. Because if so, I worry that we might have Seville and Pinkie become alicorns as well, just like Gosling and Shining, just because Twilight think they would be "better" that way.
This story was epic. I’m sad it’s done, but very happy with the way it happened. Also regarding the previous chapter,haven’t seen Twilight going Nova in any fic for quite a while. Was a welcome surprise indeed
That's a good idea.
"Hitched to the same wagon" is a neat ponyism.
Radiance as a clown carefully balancing on top of a ball is probably the best thing that character has ever been doing on page.
Congratulations, Twilight, you are being punished/rewarded for your actions with more responsibility.
Did Twilight just set a new record for most impressive alicorn bender?
Ahh, figures.
I like this plan.
9194215
9194126
Celestia clearly has what is best for everybody in mind, so it is her intentions and actions that should be thoroughly examined. She is going into a state of total war. Regular Shining Armor is good; Shining Armor with his magical prowess and talent increased by a magnitude? That's even better. Just imagine how relieved you would be if you were a major leader and suddenly you have access to this resource. Imagining thinking of how many lives might be affected. How many might be saved.
Now imagine that you say, "I'm glad he came to his senses."
Yes, I understand how arrogant it could sound. And to be honest, that is my intention. Lots of loaded language that is context heavy. I'm hoping to catch people off guard by getting them to leap to conclusions.
9194474
celestia is going into a state of total war?
Can we be expecting her to commit more astral plunges to combat Grogar's darkness when their ground forces make contact?
the ball TO roll
Cooperating with Blintz is gonna be one hell of an uphill battle. Can't wait to see it.
about TO get
9193167
It was an old custom to spank disobedient children with a big ol' wooden spoon in real life.
Pinkie is terrified that her mother will beat her ass.
ur short description reminds me of the song ghost town by egypt central. "When the sky falls down over this ghost town, you'll be first against the wall." is one of the lyrics. lol.
I just thought of something: the Earth are suffering under two burdens, not one, but everyone seems to be lumping them together. The burden of earth ponies as a subspecies, and the burden of earth ponies as a culture.
As a subspecies, earth ponies are obsolete. Period. With the advancement of magic and technology they're out competed in every field, even the literal fields. Nothing Twilight can do can fix this, and saving them will require changing them on some fundamental level.
Earth pony culture, on the other hand, is threatened by proxy. It's based around hard work and overcoming your limitations, something earth ponies have more of than the other ponies. With earth ponies in danger, their culture is as well, but unlike the subspecies, the culture can be preserved. You can teach foals how to work hard and not rely on magic for everything, even if many won't listen and favor the easier route.
This is a vital distinction to make. If Twilight tries to save the culture by saving the subspecies, she is doomed to failure. Only by separating what can be salvaged from what cannot can Twilight hope to make real progress.
Huh...
It appears I have read the entire fic in a single day...
...
Whoops?
LIke I cant even be made, there are like several finished works that I need to catch up on. But I want to be mad. mad that I can't finish skyreach, or Mr. dark and his adventure's.
Yet even in that department, you left whisps to be read and charishied, why must you be so good to us?
Kudzu I know it's alot to ask but can I get a story timelines so I can read this epic the way it's supposed to be read?
11530173
Look in the Weedverse forums.
11530175
Thanks kudzu feel better your In our prayers