Chapter 20
“You know,” said Seville while eyeballing his breakfast, “sometimes, I think about how mundane my life is and I get depressed.”
Twilight, having been to the decidedly mundane world beyond the mirror, cast a sidelong glance at the stallion beside her. “You ride back and forth to Canterlot in a blimp and you’re in love with a magical pony princess.”
This got a shrug out of Seville, there was something that was almost a ‘harrumph,’ and then with his most deadpan delivery he replied, “The blimp is kinda boring. As for the magical pony princess—”
“Hey!” Twilight snapped, and she knew that she had to speak to Seville in a language he understood. “What’s the big idea? Why I oughta…” Raising her hoof, she waved it back and forth in front of Seville’s nose, causing his eyes to follow it.
Across the table, Bundt and Pinkie Pie were snickering, while Applejack watched with casual interest, no doubt waiting for the scene to play out. Unexpectedly, Twilight found that this banter put her in an excellent mood. Reaching out, she patted Seville on the cheek and then returned her attention to her breakfast.
“No, really.” Seville eased his bulk to rest against the edge of the table and stared down at his food. “All those stories yesterday. Listening to all those earth ponies. We all share so many of the same frustrations. There’s things I’d like to do. Or just do better. But I’m stuck being me.”
“That’s the way of it,” Applejack muttered. “Apple Bloom hit a moment of crisis while in university. She got fed up and had a pretty bad reaction. Came home to Sweet Apple Acres and that just made everything worse. I told her she had to make peace with it, ‘cause what choice did she have? I told her what she needed to hear, but I don’t s’pose it helped.”
“That’s why I like staying with my sister, Maud. There’s usually a unicorn around.” Pinkie Pie, who seemed to be of good cheer this morning, had a tremendous glob of oatmeal clinging to her nostril.
“And now, there’s a unicorn at Sweet Apple Acres.” A truly sour expression crept over Applejack’s face. “Shucks, I like Sugar Belle… but I worry about us gettin’ lazy. If’n you don’t use it, you lose it.”
“I don’t understand.” Twilight leaned over the table and regarded her friend Applejack with a thoughtful frown.
“It starts with a little bit of laziness. You get a unicorn to open a difficult jar, or maybe cast one of them repair spells on something. But it’s more insidious than that—”
Twilight leaned forwards a bit more. “Insidious?”
“Dadgummit, I read.” Applejack jerked her head back and let out a mighty snort. “It’s more insidious than that, as I was saying. If’n you ain’t careful, soon, you stop doing things for yerself. All that fine control starts to go away. And that’s the cost of laziness. Those difficult jars? You can’t open them. You traded away fine control for convenience. Soon, the unicorn is doing everything and you… you’re helpless. Then, you’re dependent on them, and that’s the worst.”
“Applejack, there is no shame in asking a friend for help—”
“Yeah, there is.” Ears angling forwards, Applejack narrowed her eyes while her expression turned stubborn. “Friends ain’t always there. You gotta do things on your own. I don’t wanna do things faster, or easier. It’s like that friendship lesson with the cider. In the long run, magic only messes things up and makes life more complicated. Our way, the earth pony way, proved to be the best way.”
“Do you really believe that?” an astonished Twilight asked.
“Yes.” There was no hesitation. “Having Sugar Belle around has only confirmed my worst suspicions. Even worse, she’s using her wiles to weedle her way into Big Mac’s head and it won’t be long afore he’s helpless. I don’t want that for my brother. I hate it. I hate every goldurn minute of it and there ain’t nothing I can do about it ‘cept watch.”
“Applejack, I—”
“I woke up in a mood to be real honest, Twi… something ‘bout being round these ponies, it’s set me off.” Green eyes glittering, Applejack’s intense frown turned somewhat apologetic, but retained its stubborn quality. “The stink of desperation is in the air, Twilight. It’s a bad scene. Everything is coming to an end and this feels more like a goodbye party.”
Before Twilight could respond, Pinkie Pie said, “It kinda does.” These words came out as a prolonged sigh.
Freaked out and a little alarmed, Twilight turned to face Bundt and asked, “Does it?”
Averting her eyes, Bundt managed a nervous nod of agreement, but said nothing.
“A goodbye party?” Twilight glanced around the table, feeling like the odd pony out.
“When this is gone, what else do we have?” Pinkie Pie squirmed in her seat and she too, could not look Twilight in the eye. “This was our time to shine in the sun, but now there’s a rotten cloud hanging over it and no pegasus pony to make it go away. The picnic is over. My Pinkie Sense tells me that I am surrounded by depressed ponies who no longer know or understand their purpose. I just try to block it out and focus on what I came to do, but it’s hard. Jackie is right… this feels like an end.”
“Seville…” Twilight turned all of her attention on him with the hopes that he would somehow make it better.
“Toots, I’m writing a memorial. The gig is up. The scene is dead. The body’s not yet cold, but we’ve gathered to remember a life well lived. I’m here to collect stories of how it was, so not everything is forgotten.”
Just as Twilight was about to ask a series of questions, there was a heavy knocking upon the door.
When Twilight pulled open the door, she saw a red-eyed, panting Bourgogne Blintz. Already knowing why Miss Blintz was here, she used magic to silence the mare before she could begin shouting and Twilight took a moment to draw in a deep breath so that she herself could remain calm. Though jittery on the inside, Twilight appeared cool on the outside.
“Accuse me of lying and I’ll summon Wardens to sort you out. Not one word of slander, not one accusation of lying. Do so, and I will further wreak your utter and absolute ruination. Something tells me that you lack the understanding of what I am fully capable of. There’s a reason why I’m a princess, and you… you’re the figurehead of a cult of celebrity. Nod if you understand.”
“Wow”—Applejack’s voice came from behind Twilight—“that’s ruthless.”
“That’s the freshest, newest asshole I’ve seen torn all year,” Bundt remarked.
Directing a baleful, hateful stare at Twilight, Miss Blintz nodded.
Relaxing her magic, Twilight waited.
Miss Blintz’s mouth opened, there was a gasp, but then no words came out. She tried again, then again, but remained speechless. Twilight, patient, waited. Whatever it was that Miss Blintz had to say, she was clearly having some second thoughts. It was almost amusing, and the Snarkle Sharkle that lurked within wanted to show its toothy smile, but Twilight remained stony and stoic.
“You’re smart enough to save yourself.” Twilight drew herself up to her full height and looked down upon Miss Blintz.
“Miss Blintz… a word of advice.” Seville was, as usual, unflappably polite. “Never pick a fight with ponies who buy ink by the barrel. I’d tip my hat to you and say good day, but I’m currently hatless. My apologies.”
Unseen by Twilight, Pinkie Pie somehow produced a weathered green fedora and with a toss of perfect kinesthetic control, made it land upon Seville’s head. Meanwhile, Twilight struggled to contain the Snarkle Sharkle, which was proving far more difficult than previously anticipated. As for Miss Blintz, she was still doing her best fish impression.
“Boss, do you want me to schedule you a meeting for later? Miss Blintz seems at a loss for words. Just say the words, boss, and I’ll send her packing.”
“I appreciate that, Miss Buttercream, but I’ve got this.”
“You…” Bourgogne Blintz almost spat out the word. “I confided in you. I told you the truth with the hopes that you would be smart enough to understand. I wanted to bring you on board. What I revealed was meant to allow us to cooperate… so we could be friends, you and I! I had no idea that you’d stoop so low as to betray me.”
“Seems to me that you don’t understand how friends work,” Twilight replied in her best schoolmarm voice. “If you treat your friends anything like you treat your employees, I’d venture a guess that you are about to face a great deal of trouble—alone.” The Snarkle Sharkle surfaced, a dreadful leviathan that lurked within the deepest, darkest, snarkiest depths of Twilight Sparkle. “I’d insult your friends like you did mine, but I don’t think you have any.”
“Ooooh… I wish my sister was here.” Pinkie’s exaggerated whisper carried across the room. “Or my niece, Pebble.”
“I revealed the truth to you so that we’d understand each other.” The crimson spiderwebs in Bourgogne Blintz’s eyes seemed to grow thicker, they intensified, and now, the whole of her body trembled. “My great work… the great cause… you don’t even know what you’ve done. How could you do this? You’ve hobbled all of us! Every earth pony present for this bake-off… I was working to secure for us some kind of future—”
“Your methods are trash.” Twilight’s calm interruption silenced Miss Blintz. “I am absolutely certain that you’ve done more harm than good. You… you’ve weaponised Princess Cadance’s great work. You’ve taken her efforts to make the world a better, more loving, more compassionate place, and you’ve used those methods to bull-bait others, to browbeat them, to inflict great, unspeakable harm. Random harm… just to discern who you’re dealing with, as you put it in your own words. The gig is up, Miss Blintz. You’ve been defanged. I encourage you to continue your activism, but do so with better methods. Do no harm.”
“You say do no harm, but what of the harm done to me, you… you.. you hypocrite! By harming me, you’ve harmed all of us! You’ve harmed the cause! You… you’ve set us back! I worked for us! For our future! You could have approached me and you and I could have settled our differences in private, but you… you… you just had to do this! Did you promise to suck his fucking cock in exchange for a spot on the front page? Don’t think I’ll go quietly!”
Biting her lip, Twilight slammed the door in Miss Blintz’s face.
“Don’t think I’ll go quietly!” Miss Blintz shouted through the door.
Then, then there was silence.
When Twilight turned around, she saw her friends staring at her, each of them with their own expression, a different reaction upon each face. Silence lurked in the hallway beyond the door, dreadful—but appreciated—silence. She stretched out her wings, spreading them wide, and then flexed them to try and ease the tension in her tendons. The burble of the water in the fountain before her offered no comfort and only served as a distraction.
Seville—who took off his hat, he was sitting at the table after all—let out a resigned, weary sigh and said, “That could hurt me. Well, us. That could hurt us. If she plants that idea in the mind of the public, it’ll be difficult to make it go away. You and I… we… you and I… are…” Words failed the earnest reporter and his head bowed, defeated.
Pinkie Pie spoke, and it was almost a whine. “It’s gonna be a long day.”
Bundt Buttercream, rather unperturbed by everything, shrugged and then brushed her mane away from her eyes with her foreleg. “I bet she rubbed her eyes with onions. I’ve watched her do it to prepare for big emotional confrontations. She gave me lots of advice on how to manipulate others, how to use my charms as a mare, and how to play upon the sympathy of others. Boss, if it makes you feel any better, I think you were being played.”
A disgruntled whinny escaped Twilight, and she stood pawing the floor.
“Are you shittin’ me?” An incredulous Applejack leaned over and gave Bundt a good stern stare. “Tell me you’re shittin’ me.”
“I’m telling the truth.” Bundt sucked in a deep breath, almost wheezing, and looked Applejack right in the eye. “I’m telling the truth. Really and truly. I’m finally around decent ponies and I don’t wanna risk losing what I have, here. Like my job. I think my boss would know if I was lying.”
“Sumbitch.” Rolling her eyes, Applejack shoved her bowl away and almost knocked over her glass. “If’n I ever meet that thundercunt ever again, me, Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee are gonna work her her sorry ass over until she has something furreal to cry about. I’ll buck her to Princess Luna’s moon.”
“This changes nothing. Pinkie, you’re going to be the very best baker you can be, and we’re all here for you.” Twilight took yet another deep, calming breath, just as Cadance had taught her. “Applejack, stick close to Bundt. After what just happened, Miss Blintz might do something petty and stupid. Seville… if you can… check out the mood and opinions of the earth ponies. I want to know how they feel after this morning’s newspaper. Once I know the reaction and opinion, I’ll have a better idea of what to do next, should this situation continue to develop.”
Applejack and Seville exchanged a glance with one another, then both looked at Twilight. Together, as if on cue, they nodded.
“We have a long day ahead of us, and we must make the most of it.”
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I find myself really wanting a to read over the contents of that paper now.
9123963
Seville printed, word for word, everything that was said to Twilight. Nothing less, nothing more. Go back to that chapter and you can read it.
It is how you avoid accusations of slander and lying.
I'm loving ass ripper twilight here ^_^
9124087
That sounds so bad out of context.
9124091
indeed, as would many thing heh heh
Sjw are what racists become to avoid being called out for being racist.....
Eh more accurately its become a base for such people at least. objectively, their cause is justifiable. in practice though..... yea they are as bad as that old guy who fought in ww2 that says all the japs need to die, while sitll living in an area with a high japanese minority.
The chapter started so happy for Twi and then BAM, day ruined. I need to see the rest of Skyreach so bad.
9123965
Ah right I recall that conversation. Yhea, no one is going to be able to take anything she says at face value anymore and will see her as a narrsacistic manipulator. She is done, for the immediate future atleast. Good riddence.
9124221
Nope..she is not. TRUE believers will not fall uppon those "lies" Seville wrote. ´Cause their idol cannot do wrong, no matter what even a princess says.
Twilight needs to fill the gap for being the earth ponies champion quickly and efficiently, otherwise, between the "true believers" and those that lost the only (false) hope of a future, this bake off will become a revolution.
9124221
9124270
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Don't forget to feed your Snarkle Sharkle regularly, or it will attack when least expected and take a bite out of the nearest ass.
9124310
Well, Blintz was doing her best fish impression.
This is a very troublesome and complicated situation. This isn't like the average issues we all know. It's not just differences in skin color and culture. This is a genuine biological issue of earth ponies being left behind and out of jobs because unicorns and pegasi exist.
I can't actually think of a legitimate solution to that that doesn't involve giving the earth ponies special treatment. It would almost be like treating them as if they were handicapped, and that's not even remotely a good solution.
used
And Applejack's own tribalism is starting to spill out, 'Magic just makes things more complicated, Earth Pony ways are best,' completely ignoring that Earth Ponies themselves use Magic, and do so pretty much all the time. It's easy to blame someone else, think of them as 'problematic' when you're sitting on the other side of the fence. Wee bit more difficult looking at your own side more objectively.
Cut 'in'
Betray? Wow, that's some serious delusion. Twilight snubbed her openly and directly without ever giving the slightest hint of loyalty. Blintz really has suffered a cranial-rectal inversion if she believes that anything else happened. I hope there's a cure.
Onions? Okay. That makes sense. I was genuinely confused why she was so teary eyed at first. She doesn't strike me as the sort who might feel moved by recent events. This, however, seems much more plausible.