Chapter 28
The shimmering white alicorn strode forth as daylight bloomed behind her. She stretched her wings and tilted her head back. Everypony in the room stood ramrod still until they finally remembered to bow. The silence was broken by Rainbow Dash’s enthused cry. “Celestia!” She bolted over to her mentor, tears of joy glistening in her eyes.
Smiling beatifically, Celestia rested her neck on Rainbow’s, her wing resting on her back. “Rainbow Dash, my faithful student.” Her voice radiated kindness and warmth. Rainbow closed her eyes, burying her face in Celestia’s shoulder. It was a perfect moment.
That ended suddenly when Rainbow Dash snapped her head up in realization. “Wait up, hold it hold it! Aren’t you supposed to be dead?! And if you say ‘I got better’ so help me...”
Celestia bowed her head. “You are right—I do have much to answer for and I promise, I will explain everything. But all is not over yet.” Celestia walked forward, her hoofsteps ringing loud and clear on the stone floor. Rainbow turned just in time to see her stop before the shaking alicorn who was once the fierce and terrible Nightmare Moon. Everypony held their breath.
Celestia extended her hoof, bringing it slowly towards her face. The shivering smaller alicorn trembled and looked away, as if expecting a blow to fall on her. Instead, Celestia gently stroked her cheek, before resting her hoof on her shoulder. “Luna … sister. It’s been a thousand years since I’ve seen you like this.” She knelt down next to her. “I’ve missed you … so much.”
Rainbow Dash tilted her head. She wanted to be happy for them but this felt, a little soon maybe? It was less than five minutes ago that Luna—Nightmare Moon—whatever, had been trying to kill them. Derpy, Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth all took a noticeable step away, their eyes fixed on the former Nightmare Moon. Shining Armor was also in a relaxed but ready position Rainbow recognized.
Sensing the feel of the room, Celestia turned to the group. “I know this is a lot to take in and accept … but believe me, you have nothing more to fear from Nightmare Moon. She is gone forever.” She laid her wing across Luna’s back. “And now I have my sister back, thanks to you. Thank you, thank you all.” Smiling gently, Celestia turned back to her sister. “Luna, you and I were meant to rule together. Can we leave the past behind us and start anew? Will you accept my friendship?”
There was a tense moment as everypony hung on to hear Luna’s reply. She sniffled, her eyes trembling as she buried her face in Celestia’s neck, hugging her tightly. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’ve missed you, big sister.”
Celestia stroked her sister’s mane, her own composure hanging by a thread. Her eyes were wet as she rested her head atop Luna’s. “So have I, little sister.”
The moment ended when a sudden shriek from Rarity drew everypony’s attention.
“Oh my, look at this!” She squealed, fighting to stand still as she eagerly showed off a golden necklace that had appeared around her neck. In the middle was a gem in the shape of one of the diamonds of her Cutie Mark.
“It’s so pretty,” Fluttershy admired.
“So is yours darling,” Rarity replied with a smile. True enough, Fluttershy and everypony else was wearing a necklace of their own, each featuring a different colored gem: a green diamond for Rarity, a yellow butterfly for Fluttershy, an orange apple for Applejack, a blue balloon for Pinkie Pie, a purple six-pointed star for Twilight, and a red lightning bolt for Rainbow Dash.
Twilight looked them over in amazement. “So these are the Elements of Harmony? I thought Nightmare Moon destroyed them!”
Celestia shook her head. “While they manifest themselves in physical form, the Elements themselves represent ideals that can never truly be destroyed. The six of you chose the virtues that resonate the mostly closely with each of you, which together make Harmony possible: laughter, generosity, honesty, kindness, loyalty and magic.”
“That’s it!” Twilight blurted out, unable to contain herself. “The six of us were connected by Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainboom! We were somehow connected, drawn to one another.”
Celestia nodded approvingly. “Well reasoned. It was not enough for you all to become a ‘Bearer’, if you will, of an Element of Harmony. You needed to establish ties with one another for the Elements to be put to their best use. It was the power of your friendship, which was and is stronger than the sum of its parts, that managed to bring an end to Nightmare Moon.”
Applejack inclined her head, removing her hat with one hoof. “Aw, shucks your highness, tweren’t nothing.” Then, looking down at the Element on her neck and what it symbolized she amended herself. “Well, I mean, glad to be of service?”
“So.” Rainbow drew everypony’s attention to her as she regarded them skeptically. “What now?”
‘What now’ meant a lot of cleanup work. Shining Armor had been about to rush the castle with an army of Bat ponies, Twinkle-Eyes, Diamond Dogs and even Seaponies (assuming they managed to figure out a way to deal with the whole stairs thing) when he saw everything go down. It was only the appearance of Celestia and Luna, together, that stopped them in their tracks.
It was something of a shock to all the ponies present to see the two of them standing side by side. Rainbow hadn’t even been certain how the long-lost ponies would react to either Celestia or Luna—if they would be glad to see them again or still held a grudge. But seeing Rainbow and her friends with the two alicorns apparently went a long way towards smoothing things over. There was even talk of all three groups sending delegations to visit Canterlot and begin the process of fully rejoining Equestria.
In all the confusion, Zecora had quietly departed without so much as a word to anypony. It wasn’t until afterwards that Rainbow Dash had even realized she’d gone. It had bothered her, not even getting a chance to say goodbye or to thank her for all she had done for them. But somehow, Rainbow figured she would see Zecora again.
But for right now, everypony else had to head back to Ponyville. Equestria needed to know Celestia was back with an extra royal in tow, and everything was going to be just fine.
Rainbow would’ve asked why Celestia couldn’t just magic them all back but she figured that coming back from the dead really took it out of a pony. Or something.
To her discomfort, Celestia had kept both Rainbow and Luna close to her the entire time, her wings draped over them. “I cannot express enough how happy I am to have the two of you with me here, together.” She gave a delighted whicker before nuzzling each of them in turn. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and was somewhat taken aback when she spotted Luna doing the same, their gazes briefly meeting. It felt weird to bond over how neither of them felt like bonding with each other. Rainbow wondered if that was Celestia’s plan. She was sneaky like that.
As much as she wanted to stay with Celestia, just reconnect with her after everything, she saw the rest of her friends hanging back behind them. “Can you give me a minute? I, uh, have some things I need to take care of.”
Celestia followed her gaze and nodded. “Yes, yes of course. Take all the time you need.” She lowered her voice and added, “I would also like to speak with you, in your own time.”
“Right. Me too, thanks.” She dropped back, trying to decide who to go over to first. Seeing Cloud Kicker, Derpy and Blossomforth trailing at the rear, still trying to keep as much distance between themselves and the former Nightmare Moon as possible, decided it for her. She walked past her new friends with a nod before heading to her oldest ones. “So, hey guys. You...” She grimaced. The hay was she even supposed to say? How’re you doing after getting abducted and turned into slaves by the pony currently being hugged by her big sister up ahead? “You guys holding up alright?”
“Mostly.” Cloud nodded, one eye still warily tracking Luna. “Been better though.”
That figured. Rainbow bit her lip. “Guys, I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry you got all mixed up in this. I mean, I wanted you with me on my big adventure but not … you know, like that.”
“It’s not your fault.” Derpy reached out and hugged her, which Rainbow returned.
“You're not the one who brainwashed us,” Cloud agreed, tossing her head in Luna’s direction. “Rainbow, are you sure about her?”
“As sure as I am about anything right now.” She sighed, knowing how that sounded. “Which isn’t as much as I’d like. The last twenty minutes have been really, really weird. I don’t know what else to tell you.”
Derpy looked at Rainbow, while letting her other eye drift over to focus on Luna and Celestia. “But you don’t think this is some sort of trick?”
Rainbow shook her head. “I think that whole … experience … was a bit of an eye-opener for her. I think she finally realized how awful she was and feels terrible about it.”
“Good.” Cloud snorted. “She should feel awful.” Rainbow winced but didn’t argue. “Saying sorry doesn't change what she did to us, to all of you. She needs to actually become a better pony.”
“I cannot agree more.” Rainbow leapt in surprise and whirled around, finding herself face to face with Nightmare—Luna, Rainbow forced herself to think in those terms, no matter how weird it still felt.
Luna rubbed her front legs together awkwardly and looked down. “I—I wish to apologize for the things I, that is, Nightmare Moon, I mean—for the things I did as Nightmare Moon. I’m not that pony anymore, but...” she took a breath to muster herself. She raised her head and looked them squarely in the eye. “Explanations and excuses do not change what was done to you all. For that I am truly, deeply sorry. I do not know what I say—”
“There isn’t anything.” Cloud Kicker snapped. “You took away all my control over my own body and turned me into something else that tried to murder my best friend. Do you really think there is anything you can say now that can ever make up for that?”
Rainbow grimaced, standing awkwardly between them. “Cloud, she wasn’t exactly … herself. I mean, I don’t blame you guys for anything you did as Shadowbolts. It’s the same sorta thing.” It didn’t sound terribly convincing even to herself.
“Really?” Blossomforth frowned. “Did somepony else forcibly transform her into Nightmare Moon? Did somepony else make her do all those things?”
Luna tensed but slowly shook her head. “No. There was no outside force at play. Nightmare Moon was a—a magical manifestation of my own jealousy and anger; my own psychosis given form. She was not me … but she did come from me; from all my worst impulses.”
“Then it’s nothing alike.” Cloud tossed her head. “If you get drunk and do something awful that you’d never do sober—maybe you can say that it wasn’t the ‘real’ you, but you’re still responsible for all the horseapples you did.”
Luna’s shoulders sagged as if under a heavy weight. “I cannot deny the truth in your words,” she admitted wearily. “All I can say is that I will forever strive to make amends, to all ponykind and to you especially.”
Derpy shuffled her hooves. “I ... want to believe you, but that takes a lot more than just words.”
Rainbow looked around and sighed. “I get it, you guys have every right in the world to be mad at her. Nopony can force you to forgive her or give her another chance. You don’t have to do any of that and it wouldn’t be fair to put that whole ‘be the better pony’ crap on you.” Cloud nodded vigorously, echoed by Blossomforth and even Derpy. She spotted Luna wincing, but not disagreeing. “But one of the things I learned tonight was that you get more out of ponies when you give them a chance and don’t just go with your first impressions.”
Rainbow rubbed her neck awkwardly. “I mean, I didn’t think Rarity or Fluttershy would be much help on an adventure but they totally blew my expectations out of the air.” She glanced back at Luna. “I doubt you guys will ever be best buds with her or anything but I think it’d be good if you could try to keep an open mind when looking at what she does starting from now. Not about what she did before or what she says right now, but what she does going forward. That’s really all I’ve got to say.”
Cloud Kicker frowned for a long moment before letting her gaze flicker over to Luna. “Maybe Rainbow's right and you've turned a corner and aren't gonna do anything like that again. But you're gonna have to prove that. And ... yeah, this isn't a situation where you can apologize and it'll all be okay. You've gotta live with the awful stuff you did.”
Derpy nodded. “I know you who were … but I don’t know who you’ll become. I hope it’s somepony worth knowing.”
“That is more than I expected to get, and more than I deserve.” Luna bowed her head. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, I’m not doing it for you.” Cloud lashed her tail. “I’m doing it because I trust Rainbow Dash and she’s willing to go to bat for you. Don’t blow it by proving her wrong.”
“I will not.” Luna cleared her throat. “My sister and I were discussing what my place was to be in Canterlot upon my return. It was her desire that I should resume my mantle over the moon and stars, to resume responsibility for the night and take my rightful place as a Queen of Equestria.” She sighed softly. “I turned her down.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Say what now?”
“It is as I said,” Luna replied uneasily. “My sister convinced me that I should again be responsible for the moon, but I will not seek a direct role in the governing of Equestria and refuse the title of Queen. At most, I will accept the title of Princess.” Her eyes softened. “If ever I am to prove that I am not Nightmare Moon then I must put aside the jealousy and vanity that drove me into becoming her in the first place. Then perhaps one day I shall prove worthy of becoming the queen I once was.”
Rainbow didn’t know what to say to that, nor did anypony else. Luna waited then dipped her head. Rainbow recovered enough to finally find her voice. “Princess.” She dipped her own head. To her surprise, and relief, she saw Derpy and Blossomforth doing the same. Even Cloud Kicker gave her a brief nod. Luna returned the gesture and, without another word, slowly made her way back to where Celestia stood, watching silently. Once reunited, the two resumed their walking.
Rainbow Dash spent a few more minutes after that chatting with them, trying to make absolutely sure that they were fine. Cloud finally assured Rainbow that yes, they were fine; no, she didn’t need to ask every ten seconds; and if she didn’t give it a rest Cloud would punt her multi-colored tail back to Ponyville. It was then that Rainbow decided that perhaps she should check in on the others.
The five ponies she’d spent the evening travelling alongside were walking together in a group. “Hey there, look who decided to join us,” Applejack greeted her. “How’re you holding up, sugarcube?”
“Me? Awesome, naturally.” Rainbow grinned. “When we get back to town I am looking forward to having the best party ever!”
“Woohoo!” Pinkie bounced happily. “You’re speaking my language, Dashie! We’ll have the biggest, bestest party ever since we have so, so much to celebrate! There’s you doing the sonic rainboom, finding the Elements of Harmony, us becoming friends, saving the day, bringing back Luna, rescuing everypony, finding all those new pony friends and we still have the Summer Sun Celebration to celebrate summer sunnily!” She gasped in delight. “That’s like eight different parties we need to have all at the same time! Octa-party!”
Rarity clucked her tongue but was chuckling while she did so. “Oh dear. We all just barely survived your last party. I shudder to think what will happen to all our figures.”
“Nothing a little honest hard work won’t fix,” Applejack teased. “I expect it’d do a world of good for you.”
“Just so long as I can borrow you to try on a few of my new outfits,” Rarity retorted. “I promise I shall be brief. It won’t take more than a few hours.”
Rainbow chuckled. These two would never not be good for a laugh. “I have my own plans for what to do once we get back to Ponyville.”
“The first would probably be telling the tale to all the foals in your fanclub about how you single-hoofedly beat Nightmare Moon by kicking her rump so hard you made her explode and cry for her mom.” Applejack rolled her eyes.
“What? Come on, I wouldn’t leave you out!” Rainbow protested. “All of Equestria needs to know how awesome you guys are: Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity and … ” she paused, squinting at Applejack. “ Wait, don’t tell me … Lemonjack? Apple Juice? Wait, no, I got it: Ampleflank!”
Her snickering was cut off by Applejack whapping her with her hat. “That’s enough out of you. Let’s get back to town so you can kick up your hooves and celebrate a bit before you have to head back to Canterlot.”
Canterlot.
Rainbow numbly nodded, almost stumbling. Somehow she'd completely forgotten about the prospect of having to go back now that the adventure was over. The others shifted uncomfortably as they struggled to absorb it, even Applejack.
“Awww…” Pinkie’s mane deflated and her eyes glistened with moisture. “Can we pleeeease have a super-duper goodbye party before you go? A ‘So Long and Thanks for Saving the World’ party?”
“Y-yeah, yeah, of course.” Rainbow mumbled. An awkward silence fell on the six at the realization that she’d be leaving in a few hours.
After a moment, a gentle cough from ahead drew their attention. “Um, ladies?” It was Shining Armor, looking very uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck. “Can … I have a minute with Rainbow Dash, please?”
Rainbow swallowed nervously, giving a weak nod. “Yeah, sure.” Twilight gave her a brief look that promised they’d talk later if she needed it. Then she headed off, giving the two some space. The others were still walking up ahead and nopony seemed to be paying them any particular mind. “So,” Rainbow started, “what’s—”
“I’m sorry.” Shining Armor said abruptly, regret plastered on his face. “I am so, so sorry about—”
Rainbow Dash held up a hoof. “Shiny, it’s cool. I knew you weren’t yourself.”
But this time Shining was the one to cut her off. “It’s not that.” He looked depressed. “Well, of course I’m sorry about that but that isn’t what I meant.” Shining took a deep breath. “Rainbow, I should’ve said this a long time ago. I—”
“It’s okay.” She felt the heat rising in her face. “I know you don’t—we really don’t need to talk about this.”
“Yes, we do.” He insisted, “Dashie, I am so sorry. I knew that you had—” he groped for the right words, “—feelings for me when you were younger. I never dealt with it and just sorta waited for you to grow out of it, which, okay you did but that was still pretty cowardly of me and it wasn’t fair to you either. I should’ve sat you down and told you that…”
“You don’t have to say it.” Rainbow Dash swallowed, hating the sound of her own voice cracking. “I know.”
Shining Armor sighed. “Oh Dash, c’mere.” He didn’t have to ask twice. Rainbow buried herself in his neck as he rubbed her back. “You know I think you’re awesome, right?” She nodded weakly. “Well, don’t you forget it! It’s not just anypony who’s Queen Celestia’s student, a totally wicked flier who performed a sonic rainboom and saved the world! And most importantly, ” he lowered his voice, “it’s not just anypony I would trust with my little sister.” He looked at her. “Thank you for taking such good care of Twilight.”
“She’s a big girl. She took care of herself mostly,” Rainbow admitted. “She’s cool.”
Shining smiled. “I’m really happy to hear you say that. That’s some high praise from you.”
Rainbow gave a weak grin. “She must get it from you.”
“Aw, c’mon Rainbow.” A trace of a whine creeped into his tone as he blushed a bit.
“Heh, it’s okay Shiny-Hiney,” she teased gently. “I won’t tell anypony that I made you blush.”
Shining Armor rolled his eyes before nudging her. “You’re impossible.”
“That’s me!” She beamed proudly.
“Yeah it is.” His smile straightened out. “You know, there are a lot of ponies who would be really lucky to have a mare like you, um, you know…”
Rainbow snorted. “Well, duh. I’m awesome. I don’t think I’m gonna worry about that stuff for a while though, I’ve got my own plans.”
“Aww, really?” Shining smirked. “Because Cadance and I had been looking over some promising prospects we had picked out for you…”
Rainbow’s cheeks flushed. “You better be joking or I’m gonna make what Twi did to you look like a summer breeze! All I want now are just friends!”
Shining snorted. “Just friends? Rainbow, look at what you did with your friends. I don’t think you can ever put ‘just’ in front of ‘friends,’” he said firmly. “Look at us! We tell each other almost everything, we hang out, play games, you come to me when you need to blow off steam, that’s not ‘just’ anything, Dash.” He gave her an encouraging smile. “Do you know why I kept trying to get you and Twilight to meet?”
“Because you wanted us to be friends and you wanted her to be less of an eggheaded shut-in and me to think things through more?” Rainbow offered.
Shining nodded. “In part. The truth is, you’ve been a big part of my life ever since I got into the guard: this fast, mischievous, hotshot filly.” He cracked a small smile. “It’s been like having another little sister. That’s what you are to me, Dash: you’re like my other little sister.” He rubbed her head in a noogie, mussing up her mane as she squeaked in feeble protest. “That’s why I wanted you and Twilight to meet. I wanted the two most special fillies I knew to meet each other. My two little sisters.”
Rainbow Dash blushed brilliantly. “Aw Shining.” She hugged him. “You big sap.”
“Heh, I guess.” He embraced her again. “I’ll always be there for you. I promise.”
After a long minute of hugging, Rainbow stepped back. “So, how do you think Cadance is gonna react when she finds out you got yourself brainwashed by Nightmare Moon and got turned into a big jerk and didn’t give her a chance to get involved in the action?”
Shining froze. “Umm, you think maybe we could maybe we could, you know, not tell her about any of that?” He clenched his teeth together in a hopeful grin that threatened to split his face in two.
“Riiight…” Rainbow gave him a look. “Have you told Twilight you’re dating Cadance?”
Shining drew himself up. “What kind of pony do you take me for?” Rainbow let her narrowed gaze speak for her. “Okay, point taken. Well, I wanted to surprise her so I just dropped a hint that I was dating somepony you both knew who used to foalsit her and she was a bit taller than me.”
Rainbow Dash scratched her head. “Um, doesn’t that also describe that sour old mare with the glasses and wrinkly face at Celestia’s school who used to foalsit me before Cadance? The one old enough to be your grandmother?”
Shining pulled a face. “That … would explain why Twilight didn’t seem as excited as I thought she’d be...”
“A huh.” A mischievous twinkle entered Rainbow’s eye. “If you’ll excuse me for a second, I need to speak to Twilight for a sec.” She started to slip away. “Good talk Shiny. See ya!”
“Now hold on a second! Rainbow Dash get back here!” Shining ordered. “Don’t you dare—!”
Rainbow laughed as she flew up ahead, Shining Armor issuing dire threats from the ground beneath her. Finally, a sense of normalcy!
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Oh, Dashie. If you only knew... :p
Another great chapter. A much better resolution with Luna/Nightmare Moon, here.
Clever girl.
That's, that's fair.
Huh, interesting. Very interesting indeed.
And revels in it.
Too late.
...I like this. Rainbow immediately confronts Celestia on her BS, and Luna's not taking up a leadership position. Equestria is used to only having Celestia, and being redeemed doesn't necessarily mean she's worthy to resume her former position.
Loved the original, will love this
10151381 Rainbow may have confronted Celestia, but she still let Celestia put her off, so the actual confrontation and Celestia getting called out on her BS remains in doubt.
10151175
I dunno...as much as people bitched about the whole "Easily Forgiven" thing in canon, I always thought that was one of the show's best qualities. Don't really like how the former Shadowbolts are still salty about what happened...
I think it would have been a hoot if the Elements had never manifested at all, and that was purely the rainboom.
Something something destiny something something oh no are we all just play-acting an already woven tapestry something-something free will is a lie something-something oh no I've gone crosseyed.
I like prophecies that take the form of IF/THEN statements, with various people trying to cause or prevent the "if" part in order to cause or prevent the "then" part. But it still leaves free will and agency. Plus it's just more fun if you have a chance at stopping the prophecy. Or causing ti, depending on what you're trying to do.
Fancy Pants: "Just fine? Just fine?! Do you have any idea the amount of paperwork that Luna showing up is going to create? The laws that have to be re-written to accomodate two rulers? The plaques that have to be redesigned to accomodate both of their profiles? The oath of allegiance sworn by government workers and the military will ahve to be re-written to include Luna, and - oh, Stars, and every single government employee and military personnel is going to have to take the new oath of loyalty! And what is this going to do to the order of succession? Nightmare Moon? Pfah! The real nightmare is only just beginning!"
static.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/d/dd/Discord.png/revision/latest?cb=20190820094402
I hate him. I hate him so much.
"Right! I'm off to create the Tantabus."
"What's the Tantabus?"
"Don't worry about it."
"No one ever says that unless it's something that should be worried over..."
[Much later]
"Luna?"
"The Tantabus may have blown things - "
"A LITTLE BIT, YES."
"Some kind of master shipping plan of Cadance's?"
"Yes but there were other reasons too."
I think it works to Rainbow’s benefit, in this version, that she’s able to let go of her acrimony against Luna. Whereas in the original Rainbooms and Royalty, her prolonged, weapons-grade grudge against Luna — while perhaps understandable — veered toward cringe-inducing at times, especially in light of the additional knowledge and context that readers had about the situation. It’s also exceptionally commendable of Rainbow that she is the one to offer a hoof to Luna; that it’s a personal choice she makes, which is completely unmoored from her ego. As it should be, at this point in her character arc. I think these are some of the best changes to the original narrative I’ve seen so far, and they acquit Rainbow very well.
Of course, Rarity is the first one to notice the new fashion accessories.
I have a love-it/hate-it relationship with the cartoon, and a lot of the decisions that were made regarding the cartoon still don’t sit right with me. A lot of those decisions were made after Lauren Faust departed, but I think the choice to give Twilight a jeweled tiara instead of a necklace was one of the earliest warning signs about the direction the show would ultimately take. Even from the pilot, the writers were signaling that Twilight was innately better than all her friends, and perhaps even prophesied to walk a higher path than them. Issues that would split the fandom with her eventual promotion to the alicorn master race, to say nothing of the fandom’s consternation over her immortality and taking up Celestia’s throne.
I don’t think I’m alone in noticing that. LordBrony2040’s story had an interesting take on it, linking the tiara motif to Twilight’s pride and shouting down the notion that Twilight was inherently more special than everyone else:
For a moment, Celestia wondered if she should take the roundabout parable way of teaching Twilight a lesson, but decided on the direct method instead. “You put yourself above others Twilight.”
The unicorn in question looked up at her mentor with a frown. “No I don’t!”
“Oh?” Celestia asked. “Then why was the Element of Magic a crown, while the others wear necklaces?”
Twilight frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“The reshaping of the elements was a subconscious thing,” the alicorn told her. “You may deny it on a conscious level, but your actions say otherwise. In fact, your hardline aversion to boasting may be you are aware of this flaw in your character and your inability to root out your own prideful nature.
“You lead, but it is by dictation rather than example. You order and force others into actions rather than lead them onto the right path by your own hoofprints,” she continued. “And what’s all this about magic being the most powerful of Elements? How can the Elements work in harmony if they are unbalanced in importance and power?”
The question threw Twilight for a loop. “But…it…the symbol for Harmony and all the books on the Elements shows magic at the center! And…and it even says so!”
Celestia let out a tiny laugh. “Twilight, does the drawer in the middle of a dresser have any more importance than the one on the top or the bottom? Does the page in the middle of a book always have the most important information? And who told you Magic was the strongest and most important Element? Who wrote all these books? Ancient Unicorns? The ponies who lorded their magic over every other tribe and creature on this planet?”
As for Rainbooms and Royalty— The decision to give Twilight a necklace instead of a tiara definitely rings as a “fix” to the original canon. But it’s a fix I’m unabashedly in support of. The tiara was silly, and a symbol of certain tendencies the writers had that would ultimately detract from the show. Therefore, I’m not sorry to see it gone here. (Given that Twilight isn’t the main protagonist in this ‘verse, it would be odd for her to get the crown jewels in this situation anyway.)
I think you mean ‘put to their best use.’ Used to their best use is repetitive.
Cleanup.
I’m still scratching my head over this one. It’s not a huge deal, but the idea that some of these races would agree to take orders from a pony, or that the diamond dogs have enough discipline among their ranks to be organized into any kind of fighting unit, strains credulity a bit. Shining Armor must be one heck of a commander to transcend so much deep-seated prejudice and so many differences in culture.
Why? I suppose this was probably done for pacing, but it seems like a disservice to write Zecora out of the story so unceremoniously — especially since she disappeared without much of an explanation before the final battle. She was an incredibly important player in all this. Zecora wasn’t so much a recluse in the show that she shunned all contact with the outside world; she participated in Nightmare Night and other pony events, so it isn’t clear why Zecora would fade into obscurity like Medivh after Mount Hyjal.
This paragraph is a little rough. Could use some updating. Also, I’m not sure Celestia ever used her powers to teleport anyone anywhere, although it might be my memory failing. That’s always been one of Twilight’s tricks.
This is a cute moment.
I think it’s important that Luna is shown trying to make amends. It would have been really easy to overlook Derpy, Cloud Kicker, and Blossomforth in the dénouement of this story, so kudos for not falling into that trap.
Props again to Rainbow Dash for taking the high road. As much as I viscerally disliked her earlier in the story, I’ve been mostly okay with her since around Chapter 21 or so, and she’s scored some points by doing some pretty admirable stuff in the last few chapters.
Seems premature for that conversation anyway. At least butter her up with your stupid pancakes first, Celestia, you idiot.
Oh, come on.
Shining Armor sucks so much. The guy can’t even wait until they’re in private to let Rainbow Dash down? He’s just gonna ambush her in public like this? Make a huge show of pulling her aside in front of all her friends?
She’s obviously uncomfortable. She’s all but begging to put this off until later. But no! Shining Armor is so goddamn stupid and self-centered, the conversation just has to happen according to his schedule. “It’s imperative that I dump you right now in front of everybody. This absolutely cannot wait until a better time!”
She’s obviously affected. What if Rainbow were just a little more rattled from her experiences today, and getting friendzoned like this caused her to slip and have a breakdown in public? Golly gee, Shining Armor! Thanks for being so considerate!
Seriously, what an asshole.
Drive that stake in a little further!
I know the story is written like Rainbow Dash is supposed to have let go her feelings for Shining Armor, but that’s obviously not the case as of Hot Heads, Cold Hearts. Moreover, if an actual human being were to hear their crush say these words in real life, it would probably do one of two things: cause them a tremendous amount of pain, or lead them on hopelessly.
Shut-in.
What a total dick.
Unless Rainbow Dash is really and truly over Shining Armor at this point (which she wasn’t five minutes ago and she still isn’t in the sequel, as best I recall), it doesn’t make a lot of sense for her to suddenly be simpatico with the “You’re like a sister to me” let-down. It doesn’t ring true to how crushes and break-ups go in real life. I think it would make more sense to leave Rainbow with some emotional pain as a dangling thread for Hot Heads, Cold Hearts.
…
The sour old mare.
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Wow, busy weekend! Thanks man!
In no particular order:
I won’t offer comment on the whole Twilight-as-Princess thing, for that is way too much to cover, except to say here that I prefer having all six be given an equal Element necklace rather than giving one a crown or anything like that. A group of friends that represent harmony shouldn’t really have a leader. You can have some who are more adept at organizing or planning out things, sure, but giving them a crown from the get-go was really not necessary even IF you still wanted to go the route as Twilight becoming a princess.
The Shining Armor organizing things was a line left over from before I had him established as being KO’d throughout most of the last section by his duel with Twi. As soon as he recovered was when he and the ex-Shadowbolts rushed the room—right after NMM was dealt with. I’d say his timing sucks, but frankly it’s no worse than what happens to the Princesses in virtually -every- two-parter.
You’re definitely right about Dash’s issues with Luna in the original and it’s also why the next chapter has her confrontation with Celestia be scaled waaay back. I was trying (too hard) to show the difference between how Twilight would always defer and seldom think twice about whatever Celestia said or did whereas Rainbow Dash is more defiant and questioning. But I severely overplayed that in the original version.
And on the subject of overplaying something, I also did quite a bit of that in the Sombra story with Rainbow Dash’s feelings for Shining Armor. You know how sometimes when writing when you want to have a conflict and have us empathize with one character that you end up demonizing the other? Yeaaah, kinda did that with Dash’s thing for Shining Armor. I just really piled a ton of crap on Dash to deal there with so her eventual triumph against all that would be all the grander. But that might not have been executed too well.
Her feelings for Shining were largely always meant to be more of a fillyhood crush thing (or if I’m misremembering my own mindset when I wrote that story, that’s how I currently think it -should- have always been handled in hindsight) rather than suggesting it was full-blown unrequited love or something along those lines. That’s just my own evolution on the matter and don’t really want to get into all my thinking on that question.
If I ever go back to my other old stories the way I did for R&R I would bring them all into greater cohesion on that (and innumerable other scores) but given how much of a time-sink doing this to this story was, I think I’d prefer to move forward with writing new material rather than spending more time reworking other old ones.
It might just be my own headcanon but if I recall correctly in the series, teleportation wasn’t a very common ability. I recall it was a bit of an “oh crap!” moment when we saw Sunset Shimmer pulling that off at the start of the original Equestria Girls movie. I think that was the first time we saw another pony using that trick. Given Sunset’s own backstory, I assumed it was sort of a higher-tier level thing that the two both learned from Celestia. In any case, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to figure that Celestia probably knows a spell that Starlight could teach Trixie in the course of a single episode (or half-episode given the split plot).
Zecora poses a bit of an issue. If you recall how I ended the original, you shouldn’t be surprised when I say -that- bit of pointless fanboyism was one of the first things I decided to excise in the new one. The problem is that I never really sat down and full planned out what Zecora’s deal would be. I have some ideas, but not as concrete as it should be. At the moment I envision her as someone who walks her own path (the only zebra in all Equestria, after all), and while she’s always ready to help others, she isn’t quite as willing to open up herself. I figure she’s had a lot of folks she’s had to say goodbye too over the years.
Things like that would make a prolonged goodbye awkward for her—and from a writing standpoint there is a lot that has to be unpacked or wrapped up in these last few chapters, lots of conversations, and didn’t want to toss in yet another, especially when I could keep a bit of mystery going for later events. Maybe that works, maybe it doesn’t. I wouldn’t mind hearing potential alternatives on this score on how you’d suggest Z’s departure here be handled.
Two more to go!