Chapter 20
Rainbow Dash had to admit, travel by seapony, though not her first choice, wasn’t all that bad. Well, there was the fishy smell but that was a minor issue. They were making good time down the river, carrying them closer to the old castle in the heart of the forest. They gracefully cut their way through the water with the swiftness of a pegasus through the air.
Wavedancer barked to her fellows when they approached a bend in the river. “This yourrr stop.” She splashed her flippers, approaching the shoreline. “Riverrrr bends back aroouund before going to cas-tle. Fasterrr, I think, for land ponies to walk.”
“Sounds great! Thanks, Wavedancer!” Rainbow clambered to the shore, shaking her wings dry. The rest of the group was close behind her. The seaponies let out a raucous clatter of squeaks and barks as they waved goodbye before speeding off down the river. A friendly enough bunch, considering they had threatened to imprison them, Rainbow thought. “Alright ponies, let’s get a move on.”
“Hang on a minute there, Rainbow.” Applejack nodded to the others. “Let’s give them a chance to dry off and get warm before we go rushing ahead. Not to mention we need a plan.”
Rainbow grunted but didn’t argue. She knew she was right, but she also just wanted this trek to be over and done with already. As Applejack went to talk to the others, Zecora turned to Rainbow. “Such a troubled look upon your brow. Tell me, what worries you now?”
Rainbow Dash whickered unhappily. “Nothing. Everything! It’s—” she exhaled roughly before starting again. “It feels like the closer we get to the palace, the more dangerous things get. That’s just one more reason why I should go myself. I’m faster than anypony here. I could get to the castle and find the Elements of Harmony before Nutmare Loon even knew what hit her.”
Zecora clucked her tongue. “Ah the impetuousness of youth! Truly, do you think your friends would appreciate being left behind? It’s so uncouth.”
“Ugh, don’t give me that!” Dash snapped. “If I’d just picked you up and flown here, we could’ve just gone straight over the forest and not had to go through that business with the swamp and all those creatures. It would’ve taken us—what, five minutes?”
“While that could perform the task with speed, it would lack the care you sorely need,” Zecora observed. “Your friends have been there through thick and thin. Are you sure you don’t need them to win? They shouldered a mighty burden and did so well. They have all the right to be here, can you not tell?”
“I know, I know! They’ve been incredible. Amazing, even.” Rainbow sighed. “But they’ve also been through so much and—they didn’t need to! We could’ve bypassed all that stuff in our way. What the others have gone through … there wasn’t a need for that! If it had been just me, or you and me, we could’ve avoided all that.” She flapped her wings demonstratively. “I don’t want them to go through anymore. I’m the one Celestia told about Nightmare Moon. I’m her student. That makes it my responsibility, not theirs.”
“There’s one tiny flaw in your well-crafted thought.” The zebra lightly rapped a hoof against Rainbow’s head. “Neither your nor Celestia’s permission was sought. The others made their own decision to come with you, for they had as much stake in whether we win or lose.”
Rainbow Dash stomped her hoof. “You don’t have to lecture me! I just don’t want anypony getting hurt when they don’t need to be, okay? Is that so wrong?”
Zecora shushed her gently. “Your heart is surely in the right place, but without allies the danger’s far more deadly to face. While strongly said and truthfully meant, recall the path paved with good intent.”
Rainbow had no answer to that. But she did have a question. “So what are you doing here?” She waved a hoof to cut off the zebra before she could respond. “I might not be able to quote Charles Docken or be able to read Neighzsche or Cutie Marx without getting a huge headache, but I’m not stupid. You know way more about Nightmare Moon and the Elements of Harmony than you should." She scrutinized the zebra’s face for any sign of a flinch or guilty twinge, but her striped face was as impassive as ever. “Who are you anyway?”
“I am Zecora.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“Doesn’t it?” Zecora turned with a bob of her head, sending her cloak whirling about behind her as she headed off to the group.
Grunting in annoyance, Rainbow Dash flew off after her. When she touched down, Twilight trotted up to her. “Rainbow, look!” She pointed.
Rainbow turned to see the tall, if tottering, spires and towers of the old palace silhouetted against the dark sky. Looking down a bit, she saw a domed structure, roughly halfway between their current location and the palace itself.
“It looks like an old observatory,” Twilight said a touch giddily. “Oh it must be one of the oldest observatories in Equestria! Why—” She coughed awkwardly at Rainbow’s flat look. “We can use that as a halfway point. We can rest there and get warmed up before going on to the palace, and keep out of sight if Nightmare Moon or somepony comes to check out the castle grounds.”
Rainbow sighed, thinking about what she'd just said to Zecora. Being in a group meant she was only as fast as their slowest member. But ditching them after everything they've been through already was just wrong. “Alright. That’s good thinking.”
Twilight beamed and traced her hoof in the grass modestly. “Thanks. I just like coming up with plans. Makes things easier, right?”
Rainbow quirked her brow. “Uh, sure? Let’s get going, then.” She started to run, letting the rushing air dry off her feathers and coat. She was nearly dry by the time she reached the observatory, coming to a stop just inside its wide arching doors. The others weren’t far behind.
“Anypony see anything?” Applejack asked as Rainbow peered inside the darkened building.
She shook her head and slowly made her way in. It was dark, but holes in the walls and roof provided some illumination. After a few moments their eyes had adjusted enough to take stock of their surroundings.
Rarity looked around in disgust, noting that the entire observatory was coated in dust and spider webs. Beneath them were several layers of arched alcoves stretching up to the roof. “Hmmf. This place certainly needs some cleaning up.” She took a small washcloth she’d been keeping and started wiping the walls down. Rainbow didn’t even question it, or when Pinkie Pie ducked into an alcove and started monologuing to herself about being the night.
Zecora looked over at a ruined staircase spiraled along the wall, leading upwards towards the ceiling which was open at the top. “Let us head up and make sure the path ahead is all clear. Though avoiding more surprises is a dim hope, I fear.”
“I’d like to come too,” Twilight said, looking longingly up at the observatory roof.
Rainbow looked around, not seeing any other way up besides the ruined stairs. “Guess I’m going to have to carry you two.”
Fluttershy spoke up, surprising everypony—especially herself. “I can help.” She faltered slightly under the group’s collective gaze, but forged ahead. “I-I can carry one of them up.”
Dash blinked, then grinned widely. “Way to go, Fluttershy!” She clapped her on the back, not paying any attention to the startled squeak Fluttershy let out. “Alright, you can take Twilight. She’s smaller than Zecora and probably weighs a lot less.” Zecora’s staff promptly clouted her between the ears. “Ow!” She rubbed her head, turning to glare at the nonplussed zebra. “What?! You’re broader than Twilight is! It’s just a fact—I mean, you see how skinny she is, right?” Zecora hit her again. “Oh, come on!”
Everypony else had to stifle their giggles while Zecora sighed. “To beat sense into your head is a task worthy of another quest. For now, just fly us up and give your mouth a rest.”
Despite grumbling muttered warnings about dropping Zecora, Rainbow did grab her around the barrel and lift her up, flapping heavily. Fluttershy did the same for Twilight, but with less warnings and more whispered apologies. Twilight was lighter than Zecora, but it still took Fluttershy no small amount of effort to get Twilight up into the air. She likely wouldn’t have made it if Twilight hadn’t offered her own assistance using magic.
Rainbow Dash waited for the two of them to arrive on the platform, wishing Twilight had the presence of mind to cast that spell on Zecora too. As she had predicted, Zecora was not light to carry. Instead, what she said was, "Nice job Fluttershy."
That perked her considerably, though she couldn't keep herself from scuffing her hoof against the floor. "Well, I did need Twilight's help. After all, I’m not as strong a flyer as you.”
Rainbow couldn’t exactly tell her she was wrong. “Yeah, but hey, you got what it takes.” She shot her an encouraging grin before looking around. “Zecora, is this spot good?”
Zecora looked around the observatory platform. “ I could use your help—on the far side.” She grabbed her by the shoulder and ushered her away. Once they were a fair distance away she hissed, “Now, quickly, do as I say and hide!”
“I don’t get it. Why did you need me over—” Zecora shushed her. She tilted her head demonstratively, perking her ears up, then looked impatient when Rainbow didn’t immediately follow suit.
Feeling confused, Rainbow kept quiet and did the same. Just as she was about to ask what Zecora was up to, she heard Fluttershy and Twilight talking softly. Rainbow stood still and listened, watching the two surreptitiously.
“Thank you again, for carrying me up.” Twilight rubbed her neck sheepishly. “Makes me wish I had a pair of wings of my own.”
“Having wings doesn’t necessarily make you a good flyer—believe me.” Fluttershy shuffled her wings meaningfully. “I wouldn’t mind having magic sometimes. You’re very talented with it.”
Twilight ducked her head, not meeting her gaze. “If you say so…” She took a breath, steadying herself before mustering up the nerve to ask, “Can I ask you a question? I mean, I know I just did but I meant a question that isn’t in itself a request for an answer but—”
“Of course, you can ask me anything.” Fluttershy took a hesitant step forward then waited to see if Twilight would object before taking another. “What is it?”
Twilight swallowed nervously. “I was just wondering, what made you decide to come into the forest?”
Fluttershy blinked. “Oh, well, I wanted to help my friends of course! I’ve known Ditzy Doo and Cloud Kicker as long as I have Rainbow Dash." A guilty look overcame her. "Blossomforth only got taken because she was trying to save me. It's my fault."
Rainbow blinked, having all-but forgotten that. She felt like kicking herself for not checking up on Fluttershy more. Being responsible for Cloud, Derpy and Shining Armor getting taken felt terrible enough and she knew Fluttershy was far more sensitive than her.
Twilight could've been speaking for Rainbow when she said, "It's not fair for you to blame yourself for what Nightmare Moon did. Just like it wasn't fair when I ... I blamed Rainbow for my brother being taken."
"Maybe. But I want to help Rainbow rescue them anyway I can.” Fluttershy hesitated. “I know Rainbow can stop Nightmare Moon, but I still wanted to do my part to help. So I decided I’d be here for her, because she was always there for me when we were fillies. That's why I'm here.”
“But what if—what if you don’t know how you can help?” Twilight sounded pained, and Rainbow hated it. “I want to help rescue my brother and your friends, but I don’t know what I bring to the table.”
“I’m a little surprised to hear you say that,” Fluttershy admitted. “You’re really good with magic.”
Twilight shook her head. “It’s nothing. Besides, Rainbow Dash already has Zecora with her, so why even bother with me?”
“Well, Rainbow is a much better flyer than I am. Does that mean I shouldn’t have come too?”
“Of course not.” Twilight bit her lip. “It’s just…”
When she didn’t continue, Fluttershy gently pressed her. “Just…?”
Twilight rubbed her face. “Fluttershy, you—you’re not exactly adventurous like Rainbow Dash, right?” Fluttershy nodded. “How did you two become friends?”
“Well, how did you two become friends?” Fluttershy countered.
“I—don’t know if we really are friends,” Twilight admitted. “She’s been nice to me, but I think that’s just because Shining Armor asked her to. I can’t imagine she’d want to be around somepony like me.”
Rainbow Dash winced and started to head over there, but was stopped by Zecora. She wordlessly held her place, listening.
Fluttershy shook her head. “Now, I don’t think that’s true at all. I’m very different than Rainbow Dash. I like quiet things and being with my animals while Rainbow is, um…”
“Loud, impatient, stubborn, lazy, competitive and short-tempered?” Twilight’s eyes widened and she clapped her hooves over her mouth.
Rainbow grunted. Twilight definitely had a snarky streak in her.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
Fluttershy offered her an encouraging smile. “I was going to say adventurous and brash, but I won’t say you’re wrong either.” She succeeded in winning a startled giggle out of Twilight. From behind her, Rainbow could hear a snort of amusement from Zecora. She would have called her on it, but Fluttershy started speaking again, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends just because we’re different. She’s fierce, fast, brave, strong and very confident. I always admired that about her since … well, to tell the truth, I’m not always very confident.” Twilight offered a sympathetic nod.
“Rainbow Dash had to stand up to bullies for me, because I was too scared to do it on my own. Once, I was knocked off a cloud during a race Rainbow held to get the bullies to leave me alone. I learned I could communicate with animals when I was on the ground, and that’s how I got my cutie mark.”
Twilight looked distinctly uncomfortable at this part in their talk. “So, you’re friends because she stood up for you?”
“Well, that was part of it,” Fluttershy admitted. “I don’t think that’s the only reason. She would’ve stood up for anypony who needed it. We’re friends because—well, we both wanted to be. Don’t you want to be friends with her?”
“I … I guess so.” Twilight flattened her ears. “It feels nice to have friends but a little scary too. Sorry, that must sound silly.”
“It doesn’t,” Fluttershy assured her. “Rainbow Dash can be a little … well, she doesn’t always think about what she says before she says it.”
“I noticed,” Twilight said archly. “So did Zecora.”
Rainbow turned around to frown at the zebra in question, who took no notice of her at all.
Fluttershy let out another giggle. “Well, that means she really open and honest about what she feels. She doesn’t mean to hurt anypony’s feelings, she just needs some help figuring out how to say what she really means to say.”
Twilight looked around. “Is that why you’re coping with all this so well?” She asked. “Because you’re friends, I mean? You seem to be handling this a lot better than I am.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Fluttershy protested, being caught off guard. “I’m scared all the time and wish I was back home with my animal friends. But my friends need me, and after all the times Rainbow’s helped me, now I can finally help her back.”
Twilight looked skeptical. “But how can we help? All we’ve done so far is blunder around and fall into the swamp. The only really impressive thing we’ve done is discover two long-lost groups of ponies that we almost convinced to imprison us.”
That little reminder caused Fluttershy to shuffle uncomfortably. “I don’t know exactly how I can help, but I don’t really need to.”
Twilight’s skepticism morphed into outright confusion. “What do you mean?”
Fluttershy marshaled her thoughts as she tried to explain. “Rainbow Dash … she makes you believe in her and in yourself.” She sat down to get more comfortable, soon joined by Twilight. “Rainbow will set out to do something really, um, dangerous and maybe a little reckless—or a lot reckless, actually—and you’ll be so scared for her … but then she’ll actually do it.” She offered Twilight a smile. “It makes you realize that if she can do a sonic rainboom—then maybe the things you thought were impossible really aren't.”
The feeling of warmth Fluttershy's words had stirred in Rainbow was only slightly dampened by the mention of the Rainboom. But after a moment, she didn’t even care about that. Just knowing that Fluttershy thought of her like that suddenly felt even more special.
Fluttershy sounded more confident as she went on. “Rainbow Dash would never let a pony down when they really needed her. She supported me for so long that I was a little lost when she first went to Canterlot. I still had Ditzy and Cloud Kicker, but it just wasn’t the same.”
Rainbow winced.
“I understand,” Twilight offered. “That must’ve been hard for you.”
“It was. I didn’t think I could ever deal with bullies without having somepony like Rainbow around to protect me and I wanted her to come back, but after a while I realized I was being selfish. Queen Celestia made Rainbow her student for a reason—so she could help hundreds, thousands of ponies the way she did me—and I decided that I wouldn’t keep her from that.”
From her hiding spot, Rainbow felt like she could sink into the floor and let it swallow her up. Up until her visit to Ponyville, she'd hadn't been keeping up with Fluttershy as much as she should have—largely because she didn't want to tell her about her continued failure to redo the sonic rainboom or her issues with Celestia. Now she was finding out that Fluttershy was keeping things from her! Rainbow couldn’t understand how they’d let things get to this point. They had never kept things from each other like that.
It hurt even more knowing that Fluttershy thought of her as this incredible, amazing pony doing all these important things that she didn't want to bother her—when Rainbow had wasted the last few months arguing with Celestia about going to fancy dinner parties and feeling sorry for herself!
Fluttershy went on, unaware of the hidden Rainbow’s turmoil. “I never, um, stood up to bullies the way Rainbow Dash did, but I stopped letting them bother me—for the most part, anyway.” She coughed awkwardly, leading Rainbow to think that Fluttershy had just given the mother of all understatements. “But what mattered was that I wasn’t holding her back. When she came to Ponyville, I guess I became a little selfish. I know she wanted to bring Ditzy Doo and Cloud Kicker on her big adventure rather than me. I wanted to show Rainbow that I could still be part of her new, amazing life too, so I'm trying to be a bit more like her and came along.”
Fluttershy has been trying to impress her, be more like her? Rainbow was naturally flattered but the idea of Fluttershy doing that didn’t sit right with her. She didn’t want to change who she was just to impress ponies in Canterlot, so why should Fluttershy think she had to do that with her?
An uncomfortable idea floated up. Nightmare Moon had tried to grab Fluttershy for her Shadowbolts but Blossomforth got in the way. Did Nightmare Moon not care because she saw from Rainbow’s own dreams that she didn’t think to take Fluttershy with her? Or worse, did Nightmare Moon discount Fluttershy so easily because she thought Rainbow had already done as much?
Fluttershy's fluttered her wings. “Rainbow has held me up for so long—but now with Nightmare Moon returning, it feels like she’s struggling under the weight she’s been carrying, not just her own, but the weight of all of us. So like I said, I’m going to help hold her up, so she can hold up the rest of us.”
Rainbow kicked at the wall angrily, unable to listen any more. That’s how her friend thought of herself? That she held Rainbow back? Feather that! Rainbow would’ve rather spent the last six months at one of Fluttershy’s woodland tea parties than putting up with the creme de la creep of Canterlot society. It’d have been boring, but at least she would’ve been bored with somepony worth spending time with!
Then Rainbow came up short. Hadn’t she just been thinking that she could’ve made this trip faster and easier without the others slowing her down? She tried to tell herself that it wasn’t the same thing; it was just about getting there in time to stop Nightmare Moon, not that her friends were a burden … but the distinction didn’t feel terribly convincing, even to herself. Something about it settled heavily in her stomach and she sat down.
Zecora gave her a gentle tap with her staff. “You see how you appear in your friends’ caring eyes: you loom larger than life, is it any surprise? But one must learn how to grow large without growing further apart. Without friends by your side, no gain offsets the pain in your heart.” She dipped her head to Rainbow and peered out at the ruined castle, murmuring softly under her breath in another language.
Rainbow swallowed, offering Zecora a numb nod before making her way over to Fluttershy and Twilight. “H-hey!” She cleared her throat, trying to remove the waver from her voice. “Hey. You two have a good talk?” She jerked her head over in the direction of Zecora. “She’s taking a moment.”
“Yes, I think we did.” Fluttershy looked to Twilight. “Don’t you?”
“I guess so.” Twilight shuffled her hooves, not meeting their gaze. “Just trying to keep it together—you know, what with the whole ‘My brother’s been abducted and the end of the world’ thing right around the corner, right?” She let out a nervous laugh.
Rainbow nudged her. “Hey, look—we’ll get Shining back and punt Nightmare back into the moon. Trust me.”
That caused Twilight’s spirits to perk up, albeit slightly. “Then, I suppose that means that you worked out a plan with Zecora? She told you how to activate the Elements of Harmony?”
The pure hope in her voice made Rainbow rub the back of her neck awkwardly. “Not exactly,” she admitted, “but we’ll work it out. I’ve never exactly been a great planner.” She let out a laugh, hoping to ease the tension. “I mean, you get too obsessed trying to plan everything out, then you get all bent out of shape when things don’t go according to plan, amiright?”
Twilight frowned morosely. “Some ponies prefer to have a plan; some need to have a plan, to take variables into account and control them. Otherwise…”
“Otherwise, what?” Fluttershy asked, sounding concerned.
Twilight’s lip trembled slightly, prompting her to bite down on it. Her voice was so thick with emotion it looked like she was about to choke. “When I lose control—I hurt ponies.”
Rainbow lowered her voice so only Twilight could hear her. “Is that what happened at your entrance exam?”
Twilight visibly paled and she started quaking in her horseshoes. “Shining Armor told you about that?!” She wailed as she crouched down, covering her face with her hooves. “I didn’t mean to! It was an accident, I swear! I—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Rainbow crouched down next to her. “Take it easy! Look at me. Hey, I said look at me!” Her firm tone made Twilight timidly peek out at her from behind her hooves. “Now listen: Shining Armor has never said anything about you except for totally awesome things. He talks about how smart and clever you are, how much you study and how strong your magic is … he cares a lot about you, ya know?” She glanced at Fluttershy, who had joined them on the ground, gently stroking Twilight’s mane, but didn’t seem to notice Rainbow’s look.
Rainbow took a breath and forged ahead. “All he told me was that something really freaked you out when you took your entrance exam to get into that fancy magic school. That’s all he told me because he said that you don’t like to talk about it and he would never go behind your back like that: his words.”
Twilight hesitantly pulled her hooves away and looked up. “Really?” she choked out, sniffling.
“Pegasi’s honor.” Rainbow Dash held up a hoof, her wings extended. “If you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s it.”
Twilight sighed in relief.
“But…”
“But?”
Rainbow folded her wings back. “Shining Armor told me that he really wished that you could talk about it … and that maybe it’d help you get over it?” She gave a grin that she hoped was encouraging. She wished Derpy or Celestia were here. This was more their thing than hers. Even Cloud was better at the whole talking about feelings thing, even if she’d probably end up hitting on Twilight.
Instead Twilight looked like a trapped animal looking for an avenue of escape. “I—I don’t know…”
Fluttershy brushed Twilight’s mane out of her face. “Remember what we talked about? Let Rainbow Dash help you. Whatever you’re afraid of, I promise, no matter what it is, we won’t judge you for it and we’ll do our best to help.”
Twilight slowly lifted her head up, like a tortoise poking out of its shell. “You mean it?” After Fluttershy gave her an encouraging nod, Twilight took a breath. “O-okay,” she gulped, “here goes…it’s about—about the entrance examination I had to take to get into Queen Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”
“That sounds very stressful,” Fluttershy said. “They don’t let just anypony in.”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “From what I heard, it’s about as hard as getting into the Wonderbolts.”
“I don’t know about the Wonderbolts, but it was certainly difficult to get in. My test was to hatch a dragon egg.”
Both pegasi blinked in confusion. “A d-dragon?” Fluttershy squeaked out. “Oh my…”
Rainbow’s ear flicked. She recalled occasionally seeing a little dragon helping out at the School for Gifted Unicorns. He was called Spines or Barbs or something like that.
“I tried my hardest but I couldn’t do anything. I knew that this was important—that my whole future would be riding on the outcome of this one test, and I was blowing it!” Twilight was almost hyperventilating again when Fluttershy pressed her side against Twilight’s and started taking deep easy breaths to calm her down. Rainbow Dash followed her lead and did the same on the other side.
Eventually Twilight’s breathing returned to normal and she continued her story. “There was this … I don’t know—this big explosion and light, and then my magic just went crazy! I hatched the egg, but then I was making the examiners float in mid-air and my parents! I—I turned them into p-plants!” She wailed, tears streaming down her face. “The dragon became enormous and I couldn’t stop any of it! I was out of control … I was a monster!”
Rainbow flapped her wings in surprise before settling them back against her sides. “H-hey! It’s okay Twilight, it’s okay!” She tilted her head down so she could look down at her. “It’s over now. Shining Armor’s talked about your parents before, so I know they turned out okay, right?”
“Y-yeah.” Twilight hiccuped. “But…”
“But nothing!” Rainbow was firm. “So your magic acted up and you lost control. That doesn’t make you a bad pony for one little accident.”
“Yes it does!” Twilight clung to Rainbow tightly, as if afraid to let go. “T-that’s when I got my cutie mark!”
Rainbow felt her brain break hard and careen into the side of her skull. “What?”
Twilight shuddered again. “I got my cutie mark for being an out-of-control freak! That’s what my s-special talent is: hurting the ponies I love!”
Seeing her that upset ruffled Rainbow’s feathers. Before she could stop herself, she exclaimed, “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!” She ignored the warning look Fluttershy was shooting her way. “You didn’t get your cutie mark for hurting ponies!”
“But I did!” Twilight protested.
“For an egghead you sure aren’t being very smart.” Rainbow frowned. “You got your cutie mark because you’re crazy good at magic! I’ve never heard of a unicorn doing anything like that, and I’ve watched those students work. They’ve never done anything as awesome as making a giant dragon!”
“But my parents…” Twilight whimpered, closing her eyes.
“Hey.” Rainbow gently nudged her. “It was an accident and they were fine. You’re making this out to be a lot worse than it really was.”
“Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy cautioned her.
Rainbow looked down. “Okay, okay … listen to me for a second, will you?” Once she was certain she had their attention, Rainbow continued. “I guess Fluttershy told you how she got her cutie mark: the bullies, the race and stuff … but I don’t think she would’ve mentioned this part.” Fluttershy looked uncomfortable. Rainbow rubbed her face. “During the race we—I—accidentally knocked Fluttershy off a cloud and she fell.”
“You don’t know that,” Fluttershy pointed out. “It could’ve been one of the others—or just the wind because of how fast the three of you were flying.”
Twilight’s eyes widened slightly, but didn’t look terribly concerned. “But she could fly.”
“She couldn’t fly well.” Rainbow sighed. “I was so caught up in winning the race and beating these two jerks that were making fun of her that I didn’t even notice. It was only after … well, after I won and got my own cutie mark that I even noticed. I wanted to find her and show it off but that’s when I realized that I hadn’t seen her in a while.” She swallowed, hard.
Twilight seemed to forget her own misery long enough to lean against Rainbow. “I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Fluttershy insisted. “I was too close to the edge when I knew I wasn’t a good flyer. And you wanted to win so bad because you wanted to make them stop picking on me.”
Rainbow grunted non-committedly. “I still felt like a jerk. As awesome as getting my cutie mark, doing the sonic rainboom, and beating those creeps was, I still get to be reminded of what happened to Fluttershy every time I tell my cutie mark story.” She looked down for a moment, then gathered herself and looked back to Twilight. “That’s not what my cutie mark’s about, though. Just like having some weird magical stuff happening to your folks isn’t what yours means either. Or do you think I’m a monster too?”
“What? No!” Twilight shook her head. “Of course not!”
“Then why do you think you are?” she pressed. “I know monsters. I was face-to-face with one earlier tonight. Trust me, you’re not a monster or a freak. You’re my friend.”
Twilight closed her eyes as she exhaled. “Thank you,” she whispered as she hugged them both tightly. “Thank you.”
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy hugged her back. “No need to thank us. We’re just doing what friends do.”
Dash nodded. “Besides, from what Shining’s told me you were accepted, right? So it turned out to be a good thing, in the end.”
“I-I guess so,” Twilight admitted. “But it was so hard. It only stopped once I used up all my magic. I was asleep for days! My parents later told me I’d been accepted to the School, but all my lessons would be taught at home or through the mail.” She took a breath before plunging ahead. “I overheard my tutor talking to my parents one day. The school took me in because—because they thought it’d be dangerous if I wasn’t taught how to control my magic.” She looked down. “So I got what I wanted, I was accepted—because they were afraid of what would happened if I wasn't. I studied and studied and I worked so hard. I never wanted to lose control like that again. Never. But staying in Canterlot and being home-schooled just reminded me of how badly I messed up, so a few years ago I moved out. I needed a job, someplace that’d led me study in peace and never accidentally hurt anypony. I found out Ponyville needed a new librarian, one who could actually live in the library, and … well, you know the rest.”
Rainbow was taken aback. She’d been working for so long to redo the feat that resulted in her cutie mark, she never thought of the possibility of a pony who wanted to avoid repeating her own moment. “Take it easy. Shining Armor never doubts you, and who are you to doubt him not doubting you?”
Before Twilight could properly diagram that sentence, she rubbed Twilight’s head. "I get that magic is dangerous and stuff—so are some of the moves I keep trying. Yeah, being reckless or endangering other ponies is bad. Duh. But the answer isn't to limit yourself or spend your whole life holding yourself back. That isn't fair to you.” She saw Twilight still wasn't convinced. "You gotta learn to trust yourself more. But if you're ever really, really stuck, well that's what you have friends for."
“I’d always relied on Shining Armor.” Twilight’s ears lowered. “I don’t think I ever really had any other friends.”
“Well, you do now.” Rainbow Dash clapped her on the back. “And we’ll get Shiny back, I promise.”
Twilight tried to put up a brave front and offered a small smile. “Shining Armor spoke about you at home, a lot: all the amazing things you could do, how brave and confident and amazing you are. Some new prank or stunt you pulled was always part of dinner conversation at least once a week. I think he was trying to get me to be more like you. You know, things like ‘Rainbow Dash got in trouble for putting a whoopee cushion on a diplomat’s seat, but that never stopped her from going out and trying new things!’ Whenever he tried to encourage me to go out and have more faith in myself, he always told me to ask myself ‘what would a brave pony like Rainbow Dash do?’”
“Really?” Rainbow's face lit up. “No way! He was always telling me about his awesome, brainy sister. ‘My little Twiley could’ve finished that homework in ten minutes while you were taking that nap, lazy bones.’ He was always going on about how smart and clever and nice and stuff you were. He was always real proud of you, telling me to try to take a page out of your book and think before I act.”
They all chuckled at that. “I guess I was a little nervous at meeting you,” Twilight confessed. “It—it sounds silly now, but I got in my head that if Shining Armor saw me and Rainbow together, he’d see just how he’d be better off with her for a sister instead of me.”
Rainbow made a rude noise. “What? Come on, now that’s crazy.”
“It sounds like Shining Armor wanted you two to be friends because you were so different,” Fluttershy commented. “Like how Ditzy Doo introduced me, Rainbow and Cloud Kicker at flight camp.”
“I bet he was just hoping Twilight would keep me so busy with homework I wouldn’t be able to prank him when he was on duty,” Rainbow snickered. “I had a lot of fun with him. Canterlot Castle is great and all, but the guards there really need to loosen up. So when I couldn’t take anymore homework, I started pranking ‘em. Nothing too big—at least, not until Celestia got in on it—but just enough to liven things up.”
“Didn’t you get in trouble?” Fluttershy asked.
“Are you kidding? Celestia was totally the Queen of Pranking!” Dash grinned. “Even the guards—well, okay maybe sometimes they got annoyed and stuff, but I know what the limits are. Shining Armor even told me that my pranks helped keep them on their hooves and from getting too bored while on the clock.”
Twilight gave her a look. “Really? The way he told it to me, it was more that if the guards could put up with your practical jokes they could put up with anything.”
Rainbow shrugged. “Six of one, half a dozen of the other. But Shining Armor? Yeah, he was my favorite target. I hid his armor, stole his alarm clock, put hot sauce in his breakfast, all the classics.” She snickered. “One time, I painted his armor bright pink and wrote a bunch of really dirty limericks on them. It was great. When Celestia told me about Nightmare Moon and suggested I get some one-on-one training with a guard, he was the only one I wanted for the job.”
“Oh yes, it sounds like you like Shining Armor a lot,” Fluttershy noted innocently.
Rainbow’s wings twitched. “W-well, he was just this cool, kinda funny guard when I was at the palace. He was one of the youngest guards there, and a lot less boring than the older guys who couldn’t crack a smile if their lives depended on it and…”
“And what?” Twilight asked curiously.
“Nothing,” Rainbow said quickly. Fluttershy gave her a knowing look, causing her to grumble. “If you ever tell anypony else what I’m going to say…” Rainbow’s face grew red. She sighed and mumbled, “When I was younger maybe I did have a kinda-sorta … crushonShiningArmor.”
Fluttershy let out a squeal. “Oh, that’s so cute!”
Twilight giggled as Rainbow blushed furiously. “It was a long time ago! I was just a filly!”
“No no, it’s perfectly understandable.” Twilight patted her hoof. “Lots of fillies fall for my brother … and a few colts, but that always makes him feel uncomfortable for some reason—”
“Anyway.” Rainbow glared. “The point is that it was a long time ago and I’m moved so far past it that it’s not worth ever bringing up again. Ever. Shining’s just a friend. More importantly, we’re going to get him back.” She nudged Twilight. “Then we can tell him that the two most awesome ponies he knows are friends, just like he always wanted. Cool?”
Twilight smiled and nodded, turning her head slightly. “Hey Rainbow, look.” She pointed a hoof up at the full moon. “The Mare in the Moon is missing.”
Rainbow saw she was right. The typical shadow cast over the moon in the shape of a mare’s face was gone. “I guess Nightmare Moon really was banished into the moon. With her here, it can’t be up there.”
“It’s strange. In spite of everything bad that’s happened, the moon still looks better for Nightmare Moon not being there.” Twilight looked almost enraptured by the moon. “It looks rounder and brighter than ever—and it’s right overhead. In all the time I’ve spent stargazing, I’ve never seen it look like this. It's beautiful.”
Rainbow shrugged. “Better take a good look at it while you can, because we’re going to be blasting her back up there soon.”
Twilight nodded. “I know.”
From her place nearby Zecora stopped mid-chant and exhaled sharply, swaying in place. “Zee?” Rainbow called as she made her way over. “You okay?”
“Neigh, nor will any of us be.” She rushed over and looked down into the observatory. “Oh what a fool, I should have seen!” Zecora stomped her hoof. “Hurry, hurry, quickly we must flee! Soon this place will become a bad dream!”
Rainbow Dash grabbed her around the middle while Fluttershy did the same for Twilight. They lowered themselves back down while calling to the others. “Hey you guys!” Rainbow shouted. “Zecora says we got to go, now!”
“Easier said than done!” Applejack called out from below. “We’ve got company!”
From in the darkness, Rainbow heard angry hisses, accompanied by the glow of many pairs of eyes.
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Seriously, what happened to Spike in this universe?
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Most likely he got returned to the Dragon Realms after he was hatched. After all, many of Celestia's higher ups might think that a dragon would be best raised by other dragons.
So far, this has been some downright great stuff. The action, characterizations, exchanges and future chapter set-up in this chapter AND previous ones has been quite well done. I especially liked Twilight and Fluttershy's chat about wings and magic (an appropriate ironic nod to later in the canon series) as well as both Rainbow and Twilight admitting to the guilt they felt over certain situations involving the day they got their Cutie Marks. Indeed, I could DEFINITELY see Twilight beating herself up that badly for that entrance exam if she didn't have anybody to keep her grounded (I know *I* would probably be feeling a lot of guilt over an accident that big, even if nobody got SERIOUSLY hurt).
Anyway, good mix of the best stuff from the original story and working in newer details. I will VERY certainly be looking forward to more of this, but will acknowledge that real world matters need to take top priority.
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I've talked about this a time or two in FAQs, but the long-story-short is that while Spike DID hatch and he IS alive, he isn't a part of Twilight's life. That he was returned to the Dragons Lands seems like the most likely explanation, but I admit it isn't something I've explored too much.
Before anyone feels like I'm stepping on their toes (and because I already found myself being stalked and threatened for months by a psychopath because he thought, wrongly, that I had slighted his favorite character) I should elaborate that this is not because I dislike Spike. While a lot of his episodes in the early seasons were none-too-good, some of his later ones were really quite great. So the fact that he hasn't appeared (yet?) or isn't with Twilight in Dashverse is not some comment that I think he's a bad character or reflects a wish that he wasn't in the show or whatever. And yes, I've been accused of stuff like this for a character who DOES appear and is in fact one of the Mane cast.
If you want to hear my reasoning behind why Spike is a no-show here, I can go into that a bit more. But if you just want to know the nitty-gritty of where he is, then yeah, the Dragon Lands is the best bet.
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That so-called "apology" was only offered after months upon months of blood-curling threats of rape and murder directed against myself and several friends and acquaintances on DA (none of whom had anything to do with my fanfics), and was only given after we threatened to go to the police--which I will do if I hear even so much as one more peep out of that person.
Another great chapter. Holy cow, that ending. Who do those eyes belong to?!
Loved the conversation between Twilight and Fluttershy. Happy that Zecora forced Rainbow to really take a look at herself and hear what others think of her. The developing friendship between Rainbow and Twilight will definitely be good for both of them
Zecora is pony Rafiki. Change my mind.
Actually, it would have worked just fine if Rainbow was on her own. She would have bypassed every single danger so far.
Actually, it is a very different situation. Rainbow is the only one who is supposed to know about NMM, and she is the only one who has received any training or instruction on how to fight NMM. The others may be useful extra hooves and magic, but they also have turned what could have been a thirty minute flight into an all-night slog through danger after danger.
What pain? Rainbow wasn't in any pain until Zecora rubbed her face into a situation that didn't actually need resolving. And certainly not during a desperate quest to stop a Mad God!
No need to worry immediately, it could be a bunch of cats, or nocturnal snakes, or door-to-door encyclopedia salesponies ... yeah, they should probably worry.
Oi, work today...sorry. I forced myself to finish this one but I know I said I'd read more and gaaaaah. Six day weeks with random-ass hours just drain everything from me. Tomorrow I'm 11-8, then I have Sunday and Monday off, so I'll make it a goal to finish the story by then.
I mean it's better than almost eating them and only fleeing becuase your resident bard out-competed them in a song contest.
media3.giphy.com/media/aZmD30dCFaPXG/giphy.gif
Hmm...I'm leaning either Rarity or Twilight here.
I've long since come to terms with Twilight becoming an alicorn. It ultimately didn't change too much about her, and Season 4 did a good job of making her being an alicorn a thing that actually took getting used to.
I mean that or for turning ponies into plants. Something-something, also starring Don Cheadle as Captain Planet.
Something the show sadly seemed to forget about, to some extent. Thy made it out like her cutie mark was about racing or going fast, but Dash's cutie mark story is pretty explicit. She didn't earn it when she realized she loved racing, she already knew that. She got it when she realized that she loved winning. Her special talent is winning. That explains why she seems to kind of be an expert at everything she wants to be an expert at, everything she actually applies herself to: because on some level she already knows that she's gonna be able to do it, because that's her special talent.
I mean look at the gala "dress" she designed. Yeah it's not exactly gala material but the Rainbow Rocketeer would have been a kickass look for a superhero. Rainbow Dash always dresses in style.
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Yes, THANK YOU! Glad someone else remembers Rainbow Dash isn't the Flash or Sonic the Hedgehog: she doesn't tie her ego or skill to being the fastest, it's about being the best. I can't think of many instances where Dash insisted her thing was all about going fast.
Okay, I take back what I said a couple chapters ago… Rainbow’s right, some of these rhymes are weaksauce.
She didn’t rhyme!
Suggest splitting this into two paragraphs.
So, because I’m a total geek, I’ve actually done a small amount of research on the geography of this area. The Cutie Re-Mark and Shadow Play are unanimous on the fact that there’s meant to be an observatory on the cliff overlooking the castle, although it’s been brought to ruin by the time of Castle Mane-ia. The main characters usually approach via the chasm, which also features the cave where the Tree of Harmony is kept. As viewed from the bridge that spans across the chasm, the observatory appears to be fairly far away, located in the middle-distance behind the keep, or perhaps directly to the right of the keep, depending how you interpret the perspective. Given that the observatory is cited as the middlepoint between their current location and the castle, that tells me that they’re approaching from a different angle than normal, offscreen and to the right. That’s assuming this story keeps faith with the same geography, which it might not.
i.imgur.com/zavRmZF.png
The Cutie Re-Mark
i.imgur.com/yOmJAa2.png
Shadow Play
i.imgur.com/nFrGF9s.png
Castle Mane-Ia
Good to see a supportive attitude from Rainbow.
Telly. Consider breaking up descriptions of the observatory over multiple paragraphs, threading them into the interactions between the characters. For example, you could omit the ruined spiral staircase from this paragraph and remark on it in the very next paragraph with Zecora speaking.
Sonic rainboom is capitalized here. I’m not sure if it’s meant to be a proper noun. Obviously, it’s a made-up thing, so you can make up any convention you want for it, but it isn’t clear to me why it would be, and I don’t know of any other fanfics that tend to capitalize it.
Typo.
I think cutting back to Rainbow Dash for the play-by-play on her every reaction might actually underserve the story. It’s unnecessarily halting, and that does impact the rhythm of things. It’s also rather telly.
One idea might be to ===***=== scene break after “Rainbow stood still and listened, watching the two surreptitiously.” Then, write the entire conversation between Twilight and Fluttershy expressly from their point of view, omitting Rainbow and Zecora entirely. Afterwards, another ===***=== scene break, then cut back to Rainbow for her reaction and discussion with Zecora. This would streamline things quite a bit and help with the pacing. It would also help break up the chapter into more bite-sized chunks. Currently, the entire chapter is one 6,700 word scene, which is really quite long for a scene to go on. The scene breaks would help break things up and give the reader a natural stopping point if they need to take a break.
This feels like it might be a retread from one of the earlier chapters. Does Rainbow reflect on her neglect towards Fluttershy at an earlier point in the story, or am I misremembering?
In the context of everything that’s going on, this feels a bit small potatoes.
Or maybe Blossomforth just got in the way and Nightmare Moon didn’t notice or care? I don’t know, this seems like maybe a bit too much mental gymnastics from Rainbow Dash. Like she’s contriving a reason to feel guilty when there isn’t really anything there.
Woodland tea parties, plural, and no need for a hyphen.
This feels more relevant to where we are in the story than Rainbow’s other hang-ups about falling out of touch with Fluttershy. I would consider keeping this and trimming the rest. Rainbow’s dilemma going into this chapter was, “Should I have just flown to the castle with Zecora and left the rest behind?”, and this is the one thing about her eavesdropping on Fluttershy that really serves as an answer to that question.
I don’t get what she’s doing. I guess she’s casting a spell? I thought they were just going to use the high ground to scope out the castle.
Actually, I’m on Rainbow’s side for a change. Sometimes you need someone to smack you upside the head with the truth you need to hear. Twilight’s one of those people who can go into a downward spiral of self-doubt and neuroticism unless you snap her out of it.
Very long paragraph. I’m not sure we need to be told the story of how Twilight came to live in Ponyville. It’s something the reader can pretty easily infer.
I don’t bring it up much anymore because I remarked on it a lot in previous chapters, but I think the condensed dialogue is something that’s still in urgent need of revision.
Overall thoughts on this chapter—
It’s nice to see Rainbow loosen up a bit and treat the others as something other than a nuisance.
However, it does drag. It’s one of the longest chapters in the story, and it’s almost entirely dedicated to characters telling us about events we’ve already seen in the show.
Dialogue might not be the best way to handle exposition like this. Instead of Fluttershy telling Twilight about the race, or Twilight telling Rainbow about the entrance exam, it might be better to jump to some brief flashbacks. That way, you can show these stories instead of telling them.
Although I still think that would probably drag , given that readers will already be familiar with these events. All in all, the best way to communicate these ideas might have been to break them up and weave them into the earlier beats of the story.
It seem strange that Rainbow and Fluttershy stopped after hauling Zecora and Twilight to the upper platform. Why did they leave Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie down below? Was that the plan? It doesn’t seem like a good idea to split up the party when they’re being hunted by the Shadowbolts.
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Woo hoo, you hit the two-thirds mark! Thanks!
Thanks for the catches on the spelling/grammar stuff.
Heh, yeah, Rainbow should not be commenting on another mare's weight. Rookie mistake. XD
…Wow, I bow to your attention to detail and continuity. I will probably be violating that in a later chapter since I’m less concerned about the lay of the land, but I certainly appreciate your dedication to it!
I’ll think about it, but scene breaks make more sense when there’s, well, an actual break in the scene. To me that’d mean a change of some sort: be it in location, a character perspective or a passage of time, none of which applies here. Rainbow isn’t really in some different location from the others (at most she's on the equivalent of the far side of the same room), nor is the perspective shifting from one character to another. It’s all Rainbow’s perspective as she is watching and listening to them throughout. If she could not hear them, we would not be able to hear them either since the whole story is pretty much from Rainbow’s vantage point (though not a first-person point of view).
Completely eliminating or separating Rainbow’s bits out would confuse things as it’d sound like, for those segments, the vantage point shifted for the first and only time in the story to a character other than Rainbow. If the story had regularly shifted vantage points to different characters, that’d be different. But absent that, that sort of consistency is important to maintain.
It’s not really a retread as it’s coming from a different place. She may have been feeling guilty earlier over not writing to Fluttershy more, but this isn’t about that: it’s about the two of them basically keeping secrets from one another and Rainbow being appalled at that considering how close they used to be and how they never used to do that sort of thing. That illustrates the gulf Rainbow allowed to grow between them and it’s her guilt regarding that. Might be a similar emotional response, but the source is ultimately different.
I have to disagree about dialogue. It’s really important here. This story is also incorporating The Cutie Mark Chronicles and the revelation that they all received their cutie marks from Rainbow’s Sonic Rainboom. That means we need to hear all the cutie mark stories and determine how they happened in this continuity. While most are basically the same and thus condensed (with Rarity, Pinkie and AJ’s happening back in Ponyville and being only a few lines each), this is where they start to diverge a bit.
Twilight’s story is most changed because of Celestia being in Cloudsdale rather than Canterlot and that explains why she’s so different than her show counterpart and is, well, a bit of a mess in this story. Fluttershy’s retelling is likewise tied to why and how she’s depicted differently than in the show, and the consequences of what Rainbow’s leaving for Canterlot would have on her. Since having two equally shy, nervous, sensitive characters (how Fluttershy is normally and how Dashverse Twilight is because of her entrance exam fiasco) would be redundant, I have Fluttershy trying a bit harder to act more like Rainbow Dash, to impress her and try to make sure she doesn’t slip out of Rainbow’s life in favor of more adventurous ponies—that’s her motivation and arc for the story.
With Twilight feeling down and doubting her value to the group, I feel it natural for Fluttershy to try to buoy her up and talk about why she’s out here even if she feels a little out of depth too, to explain why Rainbow’s friendship is so important to her and how she views her, etc. Yes, it’s talky, but it goes to the heart of their characters, their development and arcs for the story. To me, that’s not a bad thing and breaking this up and scattering it across the story would either lessen the impact here or I’d have to remind the reader of what was said however many chapters ago which would also waste time.
Flashbacks I’m not too keen on and here it’d just make things longer than it would be to describe them, not to mention the break in character vantage point I mentioned earlier. (Though I did forget to mention: I took your advice and inserted Rainbow Dash encountering Celestia in Cloudsdale right after her rainboom as a prologue right before chapter one).
They were just scouting the terrain. They were never going to all go up to the top, considering the effort involved in just bringing Twi and Zecora up. Plus they’d all just have to get back down again and that’d be a waste of time and energy all around.
Thanks again!
I am noticing a subtle difference between this story and canon. In the show, Twilight has to learn to make friends. Here, it's not Rainbow learning to make friends, because she does have friends already. Rather, Rainbow has to learn to believe in her friends instead of rushing off on her own. Twilight had the same issue in the show of wanting to act alone, but Rainbow here is more pronounced.
So Fluttershy's "trial" is simply being kind to Twilight? That's pretty clever. Fluttershy already had a good trial in the show, and we already got three harrowing trials in the preceding chapters, so this is a nice, low-key breather.
Fluttershy and Twilight both acting reserved towards each other was remarkably cute, but I'm glad the awkwardness didn't drag on for long. Fluttershy stroking Twilight's mane to comfort her was even more adorable!
So now we know why Twilight "never had time" to meet Rainbow. She was afraid of hurting others with her out of control magic. I'm even more convinced that she'll be the element of loyalty in this fic. She sacrificed her own livelihood for the safety of others.
The reference to Feeling Pinkie Keen, "What would a brave pony like Rainbow Dash do?" was so well placed!
I only just realized that Fluttershy calls Derpy by her real name because Derpy was once their superior at flight camp.
Also, adding onto the list of things Shadowbolt Shining Armor would say to Twilight: that it was her idea to take a break in the observatory and lead then into whatever attack is coming next.