It wasn’t long before Rainbow Dash realized the tiniest of holes in her otherwise brilliant plan: she had no idea where in the considerable vast expanses of the Everfree Forest Zecora lived. It was unlikely that the others knew either if they were so scared of her. Probably someplace relatively close to Ponyville if she can just stroll in, Rainbow figured.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t her only problem. She groaned as she did a flyby over the edge of the forest. The trees were way too dense to spot anything from the air. At the least, she’d have to fly below the treetop level—and at night no less. This would reduce her to a crawl. She veered off and headed down in order to enter the forest from the edge and work her way inward.
Before she could make much progress, three fast-moving dark blurs caught her attention. She rubbed her eyes, scrubbing the tiredness out. They didn’t slow down or alter course the closer they approached her. That didn’t bode well. She banked left, keeping herself above them. As they adjusted their stance—an an attack vector, Rainbow realized with growing concern—she caught a glimpse of the purple and black uniforms of the Shadowbolts.
Her friends.
This was about to get unpleasant. Rainbow veered off, trying to get some more distance while waving her hooves non-threateningly, trying to get through to them. ”Derpy! Cloud! Blossom! It’s me, Rainbow Dash!”
There was no answer.
The Shadowbolts veered towards her, barreling down at her on an intercept course. The moon glinted off their goggles and, worse, on the blades they had strapped onto their wings. They looked sharp enough to cut her to ribbons with just a glance, let alone actually making contact with her. And if they struck at a wing, even if they only injured it, a fall from this height...
An icy feeling settled in her stomach, and she suddenly felt about ten pounds heavier and slower. This was happening. After all her time practicing and training, she was about to be in a real fight for her very life. And her opponents would be her best friends. If she screwed this up, she’d be dead. Or worse, she'd be responsible for harming her friends. How am I supposed to ever go back and tell Dinky and Alula their mom and big sister aren't coming back because of me?
If Celestia was here instead... She shook her head to clear out the clutter. She couldn't afford to think about what she wanted things to be like, or fears about how things could turn out. She needed to be completely in the moment. When she looked back, her eyes widened. The Shadowbolts had closed the gap and would be on her in seconds. She set her jaw, her focus and resolve at their peak.
Okay, focus! This is what you’ve been training for! Cloud’s probably gonna be in the lead. She’s in the best shape and actually knows some guard maneuvers. Derpy’s gonna be slower, especially on the turns. Can avoid her no problem. Blossomforth—haven’t seen much of her, but she looks like she can get pretty nimble. Not a lot of hitting power though. So I need to separate Cloud from the others and isolate her.
Rainbow banked left, then just as suddenly veered right. Then, even as the Shadowbolts were in the middle of shifting course from one direction to the next, she barrelled down straight at them. She had expected that Cloud would’ve been the quickest to react to her sudden maneuvers, while Derpy and Blossomforth would’ve needed some more time to readjust. To her stunned horror, the trio moved in a lockstep precision that even the Wonderbolts would have envied.
But Rainbow wasn’t prepared to back down. “Oh you wanna play chicken, huh? Bring it!” Rainbow streamlined herself, straightening her body and letting her forelegs stretch out in front of her, keeping in line with her body. The Shadowbolts weren’t slowing either. They were about a hundred feet away.
Rainbow took a deep breath. Okay, this can either end really awesome or really, really not. She poured on speed, going even faster as she prepared to meet the Shadowbolt formation head-on.
Fifty feet. She could see the eyes of the Shadowbolts as they realized that she wasn’t going to pull up. And at the speed at which she was going…
Twenty-five feet. Now Rainbow Dash was close enough to see the sudden tension in their wings, even as they flew on. Both sides continued to come ever closer to each other.
Ten feet. The lead Shadowbolt and Rainbow Dash met each other’s gaze. Neither side had an inch of give within them.
Five feet.
Four…
Three…
Two…
At the last possible moment, the Shadowbolts started to widen their formation as they began to veer off and surround her, trying to box her in as they reformed. Rainbow again couldn’t figure how they could coordinate themselves with this much precision.
She angled herself away from Cloud Kicker and towards Derpy, only to be confronted by a pony who was able to shift herself far faster than the normally clumsy Derpy could ever have managed. Rainbow's head snapped back, and an instant later she felt pain radiating from her jaw. It took her a second to process what had just happened. Derpy had just punched her! Derpy, who never hit anything harder than a buffet table on Free Muffin Day. She couldn’t bring herself to fight anymore than Fluttershy could have. Rainbow’s head spun, but not just from the blow. Derpy followed up the punch with a series of jabs and kicks that could’ve come straight out of guard-training. Something Derpy shouldn’t have known, much less mastered to this degree.
That was when it hit her. Not Derpy’s hoof, though that still stung too. She fell back to gather herself, the Shadowbolts circling around her like sharks scenting blood in the water. Whatever had been done to them had been more than brainwashing. Derpy was moving like she had all of Cloud Kicker’s knowledge and know-how. More than that, she wasn’t moving in a way Derpy should have been able to, regardless of knowledge. Rainbow’s stomach sank as she realized the implications. Nightmare Moon hadn’t just given them a new wardrobe and magicked them to be loyal to her—she’d linked the three of them together and changed them, in mind and body. A leaden pressure pressed down on her chest as she realized she wasn’t going to be able to get through to them. She couldn’t talk them around and she couldn’t punch the evil out of them.
As much as it hurt to acknowledge, but she couldn’t do anything for them now. The only way to put them right was to defeat Nightmare Moon. She couldn’t let them stop her and she didn’t have it in her to seriously injure them either. As much as she hated the idea of running away, she knew it was her best option.
I’ve got to get under the tree level! The thick brush would keep them from being able to use their weapons effectively.
When the Shadowbolts moved in to tighten the net around her, Rainbow Dash responded by spinning around in a tight circle. She flew faster and faster until her wake formed a small rainbow-colored tornado. The wind tugged at her mane and tail and she had to fight to keep from being sucked in herself, but she needed this to work.
She looked up and saw the Shadowbolts had stopped the circling maneuvers, intent on just trying to stay in the air. Perfect.
Rainbow seized the moment and bolted down to the treetops.
As the dumbfounded Shadowbolts turned to look at their escaping quarry, they were suddenly hit by high-winds of the tornado, knocking them for a loop. They flapped frantically, trying to right themselves. Meanwhile, Rainbow had tucked her own wings inwards and was going into a power dive, straight below the treeline and into the Everfree.
Rainbow Dash let out a joyous whoop as she soared between the trees. The adrenaline was pumping through her veins burning away her exhaustion, the wind was in her face, and she could go careening into a tree at any moment if she wasn’t careful. Danger was all around her and the stakes were high. She was born for moments like these. She felt more alive here than she had in ages.
Dash jerked and dove around trees and branches. Sometimes she would pass so close that the moisture on the leaves would splatter gently across her cheek. And to think all the ponies back in Canterlot said she was wasting her time with all her stunt flying and slaloming through the towers. The thought quickly fell behind her, her mind racing almost as fast as her wings. Her mind buzzed with a thousand stray observations of her surroundings, not to mention watching for any sign of pursuit from the Shadowbolts. Were they still her friends underneath all that magic or were they really gone? What could she do for them now? Her heart pounded in her ears, torn between hating to run but not wanting to have to fight her friends either. Hopefully this Zecora could straighten them out.
Given the density of the forest, Rainbow had to alter her path and make innumerable tiny course corrections while still keeping an eye out for any place that might be home to the reclusive Zecora and watching out for any unexpected guests, Shadowbolts or otherwise.
She slowed herself slightly, not because navigating through the trees was too difficult but because she had no idea if this Zecora lived in a house, a cave, a bungalow or what. Rainbow darted up and down, past trees and over creeks. Patience was never her strong suit so it wasn’t long before she grew frustrated and annoyed. “This is like looking for a specific cloud in a thunderstorm!”
Rainbow zoomed from place to place, but found nothing that resembled a pony dwelling. She seethed at the futility of it all. Then she came up with a plan so brilliant, it was a wonder it didn’t physically light up the woods.
“Where are you?!”
No answer. She groaned before resuming her flight through the darkness and denseness that was the Everfree Forest. It wasn’t five minutes before she heard a whooshing, rustling noise in the forest. Looking around she saw the leaves and treetops quiver and shake for a moment, then fall still.
From behind she heard the beating of wings. Rainbow turned around just in time to see some familiar pains in her hindquarters. “Aww c‘mon! Can’t you take a hint?” She flapped, pouring on speed as the Shadowbolts approached. In hindsight, yelling at the top of her lungs to try and find Zecora might’ve helped them find her.
More annoyed than worried, she banked and zoomed as she slalomed through the trees. She saw that they were still right behind her! Her eyes widened. “What? How can they be—?”
She got her answer when saw their extended wing blades slicing through branches and vines, like Celestia when cake was served. She didn’t want to end up on the receiving end of those blades. They had to be magic, Rainbow recognized sourly. “Cheats!” She spat at them before she turned to focus on ducking and weaving through the trees. But these maneuvers and course changes took a few seconds off her lead every time she performed them, and the Shadowbolts continued to gain.
Something Rainbow Dash learned was that if the other side isn’t playing fair, she should change up her strategy. If she was going to be overtaken and cut to ribbons in the forest, she’d have to break out of here. “Forget this!” Tilting upwards, Rainbow shot through the forest canopy, raining broken bits of branches down after her. Clear open skies: her best terrain.
“That’s more like it!” She shot a quick look behind her and, sure enough, the Shadowbolts emerged from the forest after her. “Alright, you wannabes! Let’s see what you’ve got!”
Flying at a swift pace, but nowhere near her top speeds, she took a quick look back. What she saw made her grin smugly. The pursuing Shadowbolts’ faces were twisted into frustrated snarls as they furiously poured their all into chasing her—without a chance in Tartarus of succeeding unaided. “Nice outfits lameos! What did your mommies dress you?” she razzed them. But something made Dash frown. There were only two of them chasing her. What happened to the third?
She had no time left to consider that as the two behind her suddenly sped up. Rainbow Dash continued flying, but started to decrease her speed bit by bit. Too eager at the prospect of catching their quarry, the Shadowbolts didn’t question how they were suddenly able to catch up with her.
Silently Rainbow started a countdown from ten. The Shadowbolts reached out with their hooves, giving it every last bit of energy they had left to close the gap.
When her mental countdown reached zero, Rainbow Dash stopped, letting herself slip backwards in midair. Throwing her forelegs out wide, she successfully caught the two surprised Shadowbolts in the chest, effectively clotheslining them. With a startled gurk the two stunned ponies fell back down into the forest below, accompanied by the sound of snapping branches and two loud thuds as they hit the ground.
All of a sudden, the exultation at her victory deserted her. She'd been so caught up in the fight that she'd let herself momentarily forget that these ponies were still her friends, even if under Nightmare Moon’s control. “Sorry guys!” she called out. “I’ll make this up to you later!” Turning around, she found herself face to face with the third Shadowbolt.
Stars exploded in her vision as her face had a sudden encounter with the Shadowbolt’s hoof. Now it was Dash who found herself careening down into the Everfree Forest. This seemed to be happening a lot tonight, some small part of brain observed. Her stomach twisted and turned as she fell, unable for a few critical seconds to recognize which way was up.
She got her answer when her fall came to a sudden end as she hit the ground.
A painful jolt ran through her as she was sent into a brief tumble that ended with her rolling into a tree with enough force to shake the branches. She groaned, momentarily losing sense of where she was and what she was doing. Rainbow sluggishly lifted herself out of the small crater she found herself in. She coughed, expelling some dust and a leaf that had worked their way into her mouth and rubbed at her eyes.
“Ah, yes, hello pain. How’ve you been?” Her muzzle wrinkled. This just wasn’t her night.
She had only just gotten back on her hooves when the Shadowbolt dropped out of the sky and landed a few feet in front of her.
“Derpy?” she half-coughed. The Shadowbolt tilted her head. “C’mon, I know you’re in there!”
Slowly she held out a hoof to Rainbow Dash. Relieved and elated, she grasped it, only to be suddenly yanked forward until their snouts were almost touching. “Derpy’s not here,” the Shadowbolt leader sneered in a tone that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike Derpy’s. “Too bad for you.” Putting her other front hoof to her face, she issued a sharp short whistle. In almost no time at all, the other two Shadowbolts appeared.
Rainbow’s stomach sank. After all that, none of them looked the worse for wear aside from the pissed-off expressions on their faces. While she hadn’t wanted to hurt her friends, she would’ve liked to know that her efforts amounted to more than—well, nothing. Especially since they were Nightmare Moon’s flunkies. There wasn’t any sign of injury or damage done to them by her little stunt. She realized with a grunt that their suits must’ve been magic too. The other two took up positions on either side of the lead Shadowbolt. She struggled, but they each grabbed one of her forelegs, forcing her up onto her rear hooves. Her wings were entangled with vines and bits of debris. Rainbow Dash couldn’t even stretch them out, much less fly.
She looked up at the Derpy-Shadowbolt as she flexed her own wings … and the blades attached to them. Rainbow struggled feebly. “Derpy, don’t do this!”
“I’m not Derpy,” she hissed coldly, pressing her blade against Dash’s neck. The cyan pegasus squirmed to get some extra space between her and the razor-sharp blade.
Suddenly, there was a sharp whistling sound followed by exploding puffs of green smoke. Caught by surprise, the Shadowbolts started coughing, giving Rainbow a chance to kick the guard on her left in the shins. Partly freed, she followed up by punching the one on her right in the gut.
The smoke soon cleared when the Shadowbolts started flapping their wings. The leader looked around. “Fan out! Find out wha—umph!” Whatever she was looking for found her first. It came in the form of a wooden staff implanted firmly into her belly. The captain clutched herself and collapsed, wheezing.
The staff’s wielder, a pony in a brown hooded cloak, did not stay still long enough for the other two to avenge themselves on her. The interloper jerked her—or his, Rainbow couldn’t tell—head at Rainbow, indicating that she should follow. The two quickly fled as the shrouded stranger navigated them expertly through the forest. Where she was being led, Rainbow didn’t know. Behind them, the Shadowbolts had rallied and were in full pursuit.
Finally they stopped in a clearing. “Why are we stopping?” Rainbow asked.
There was no answer. Her would-be rescuer gently guided her to a tree and sat her down against its trunk. “Stay,” came the curt response. It was a mare’s voice, oddly accented.
She made her way back to the clearing entrance and twirled her wooden staff around. The Shadowbolts emerged almost immediately, looking more annoyed than ever. “We are operating under the authority of the ruler of Equestria!” Not-Derpy spat. “Stand aside!”
“Assaulting her agents is treason!” hissed the second, who Rainbow tentatively identified as Blossomforth.
Cloud Kicker threatened, “Leave now or pay the price.”
The mysterious stranger let out an idle snort but did not budge.
“So be it.” Derpy snarled. “Shadowbolts, attack!”
They rushed the stranger, who made no effort to move until they were right on top of her. Then with lightning speed, the staff lashed out, cracking one ‘bolt in the jaw, slamming it over the head of the second and dispatching the other with rapid twirl that caught her in the side of her head.
When the Shadowbolts rose almost instantly, the stranger was gone. “Where did—?”
“Look!” one pointed. She was now precariously perched atop the staff … upside down … about ten feet up on the branch of a tree.
Rainbow felt her jaw drop. “How?!”
The lead Shadowbolt was incensed. “I don’t know who you are and I don’t care. No pony opposes her majesty’s Shadowbolts!”
“Can you not see truth with your eyes?” the stranger said calmly, leaping down from the tree. “No pony am I!” She tossed back the hood of her cape, revealing a black-and-white striped face with blue almond-shaped eyes. Her mane was cut into a mohawk of alternating colors, the same as her coat. A stack of golden rings around her neck gently clinked together as she moved. “Leave now and abandon these flowers, for this is my place of power!”
The Shadowbolts chuckled wickedly. “It doesn’t matter who you are,” the one on the left said.
“Pony or not it won’t spare you from our wrath,” agreed the one on the right.
“Much less your ridiculous rhyming!” spat the leader.
The stranger’s face was impassive. “‘Spare you from our wrath’,” she mimicked. “Ha! That’s quite a laugh! You may think my rhyming is far too passé, but at least I don’t spout such absurd clichés.”
The Shadowbolts darted forward. Tucking her hoof into the folds of her cloak, the stranger drew out a hooffull of green powder and gently blew it in front of her. Dash didn’t see what good that would do since they had goggles on, but the powder started to change. Instead of remaining a cloud of dust, shapes started to emerge. Dragons, manticores, hydras … and leading them was the very image of Queen Celestia.
Panicked, Nightmare Moon’s minions came up short, stumbling over themselves before they realized that they were mere illusions. Taking advantage of their confusion, Rainbow Dash tossed herself back into the fray, lashing out with her hooves. “Wanna go again?!” she shouted, planting her hoof in the stomach of one of them, ignoring the dull throb in her head. “I’m going to save you even if I have to kick all your flanks first!” She swung at another one, but missed, still a bit unsteady on her hooves.
Three-to-one odds weren’t good even if she wasn’t already bruised and tired. She looked around for her new companion. She ducked, narrowly avoiding one blow only to catch another in the side. She staggered, finally spying her companion who was decidedly not fighting. Instead, she was darting back and forth, dragging her wooden staff on the ground in intricate if bizarre patterns and softly chanting under her breath. “A little help here?!”
The zebra paused long enough to reply. “Do not let your attention stray; help is already on the way.”
A blow to the chest knocked Rainbow to the ground before she could ask what that meant. The Shadowbolts loomed over her, wing-blades outstretched. Fast as she was, she knew she couldn’t get back on her hooves or take to the sky before they cut her down. One of them—maybe Cloud Kicker—raised her wing-blade, the moonlight glinting off its steel finish. But before she could bring it down on Rainbow, a lasso neatly fell on the outstretched wing and tugged it back.
“Hold it right there you varmints!” Turning her head, Rainbow saw Applejack clutching the other end of the rope.
Not ready to look a gift pony in the mouth, Rainbow clambered to her hooves and threw herself back into the fight. “The hay are you doing here, Applejack?!”
“Saving your multi-colored rear, that’s what!” Applejack dug in her hooves, tightening her hold on her rope. “And I’m not the only one!”
“Quite right!” Rarity announced as she also leaped out of the bushes, accompanied by Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. She narrowed her eyes, using her magic to levitate a number of small rocks and stones. She hurled them at the Shadowbolts, peppering them with a distracting barrage. While they couldn’t penetrate their uniforms, they still stung enough to make them drop back, giving Rainbow Dash some much needed breathing space.
Fluttershy rushed forward and made her way to Rainbow’s side. She set up about clearing the vines and debris from her wings, allowing her to fly. Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, was darting in between the confused and scattered Shadowbolts, keeping them off balance.
Just as they looked ready to regroup and press their attack again, Twilight’s horn lit up with a brilliant glow, overloading whatever spell the Shadowbolts had been using to see the darkness.
Zecora looked up, apparently done with her task. “Add your magic to the signs, our powers we must combine!”
Twilight looked over and spotted the symbols Zecora had drawn. Twilight poured her own magic into them as a green light traveled from Zecora’s staff down to the ground. The magics filled up the shallow patterned grooves she’d made like water spilling down a dry riverbed. The light traveled around the entire clearing, lighting up ancient symbols in the ground. Soon the green light was everywhere.
“Wards!” a Shadowbolt called out in horror and warning. But it was too late; a veritable wave washed over everypony present.
Rainbow Dash flinched as the shockwave passed by, but it left her untouched. The Shadowbolts were not as fortunate; it swept them up and propelled them far beyond the clearing. Dash watched with wide-eyed amazement as the Shadowbolts were flung into the distance.
“Do not be so quick to cheer,” her rescuer warned. “They will soon be back, I fear.”
“Yeah well, it was still awesome. So, uh, Zecora I presume?” Rainbow held out a hoof as she thought back to her lessons with Queen Celestia. “They told me there was a zebra out here, but I wasn't sure whether I really believed it, you know? Er, not that there's anything wrong with being a zebra!” she blurted, realizing how that could be taken, “I just, um, didn’t expect to see one out in these parts.” Dash cleared her throat. “So uh, I greet you in the traditional zebra … something or other … um, ba-weep-gra-na-weep-ninny-bong?”
She was answered with a chuckle. “Such form is the mark of being well taught. I am Zecora, the one that you sought.” She took Rainbow’s hoof and shook. “To find me alone was a choice most rash. Still, I am pleased to meet you, Rainbow Dash.”
“You have no idea how glad I am that I found you.” She looked at where the Shadowbolts had stood before their unceremonious exit, barely noticing that the others had taken a wary step away from Zecora. “Just what was that anyway?” she asked. “In laypony’s terms, thanks. Magic gives me a headache. Too many rules.” Twilight looked at her like she started spouting blasphemy.
Zecora dipped her head. “A protective ward drawn from the sun’s pure light. It rejects those tainted by the Nightmare’s might.”
Twilight’s eyes shone in understanding. “You used the stored-up solar energy in the plants to repel Nightmare Moon’s own magic!”
“That sounds useful.” Rainbow leaned forward. “If you know about Nightmare Moon and magic and stuff, then I bet you can help me stop her, right?” She was taken aback when Zecora tossed back her head and laughed merrily. “What’s so funny?”
“Ah my dear, the answer is undoubtedly you! To stop Nightmare Moon is something no one can do!”
Snorting, Rainbow pawed at the ground angrily. “Yeah, well I don’t believe it! I’m not about to let it be night forever. And those Shadowbolts used to be my friends, and I’m going to save them, with or without your help!”
Zecora shook her head. “It seems to me that you misunderstand—stopping Nightmare Moon is indeed the plan. But for you to achieve that alone is where my skepticism shone. Luckily indeed, alone you are not. Are these not some more friends that you have brought?” She nodded to the others.
“Them? Well—” Rainbow turned to see the others, still keeping their distance from Zecora. “The hay?”
“For me, I’m afraid, this is nothing new, it is like this every time I come through,” Zecora replied, her tone empty of any trace of emotion—be it bitterness, sadness, or even mild annoyance.
“Sorry,” Rainbow Dash muttered, feeling oddly guilty and embarrassed on behalf of Ponyville. “I guess they just aren't used to seeing zebras out here. Small town and stuff.”
Zecora inclined her head in acknowledgment but said nothing more.
Rainbow coughed awkwardly. “Hey, you guys can come on over! She’s cool!”
“She did get rid of those other ponies,” Twilight observed as she slowly made her way over.
Applejack let out a skeptical snort but she and the others joined her in approaching Zecora.
Twilight swallowed nervously. “We’re really sorry about that, it’s just been a rough night. We appreciate that you helped us.” She gave a small, shy smile. “My name is Twilight Sparkle.”
Zecora smiled gently. “Ah, a lovely name for the time between day and night. Appropriate, considering the evil we fight.”
Twilight flushed and looked away.
Rainbow thought of something. “Wait, how did you guys even find us anyway?”
“Oh, it was a simple tracking spell!” Twilight looked more at ease now that she was explaining something. She plucked a small stone wrapped in a cord from her saddlebag, one of Rainbow's feathers bound to it. “I simply had to cast a spell of affinity on the stone from something of yours, like one of your feathers, and the stone would point in your direction. See?” As she held up the stone, it pulled itself closer to Rainbow, held back only by the cord Twilight in Twilight’s hoof.
“Ooookay then.” Rainbow looked at Twilight, feeling both impressed at her ability and slightly disturbed that she’d been using something that had come from her body.
Zecora nodded. “Indeed, it was quite the clever spell you cast, the better to ensure that you arrived fast.”
Twilight fidgeted. “It really wasn’t anything clever. Just a really simple spell, actually…”
“Ah, but simplicity can be a sign of great cleverness.” Zecora countered. “Too many think that complexity is a sign of genius. The best plans are those that have the best chance to succeed. If it’s too complicated, it won’t be what you need.”
Rainbow couldn’t help commenting, “Somepony should really have told Celestia that.” Zecora chuckled but said nothing.
Applejack continued her suspicious look until Rarity brushed passed her. “Really, where are your manners? Must I be the one to introduce myself?” She gave Rainbow and Applejack a jaundiced look before addressing Zecora with a prim nod. “I am Rarity.”
Zecora inclined her head. “I am Zecora, as you already know. Such wonderful manners, a fine breeding it shows.”
“Why thank you!” Rarity tossed her hair. “And I must say I love what you’ve done with your coat! Such an avant-garde look!”
“Rarity,” Rainbow snorted. “She’s a zebra—all their coats are like that, it’s what they’re born with. And this really isn't the time for this.”
Rarity sniffed. “Well, just because some of us cannot appreciate the importance of a good appearance doesn’t mean that we all must show such disregard. I for one would welcome the chance to design an outfit for Zecora in place of that tatty, old cloak of hers. Perhaps—”
“A splendid thought and one most definitely appreciated,” Zecora chimed in, heading her off. “When I next come to town, you should not act like your store’s vacated.” Rarity gave a strangled sounding cough and stepped back.
Pinkie Pie hopped forward. “Aww, we’re sorry Zecora. How about if we make it up to you with a big party later? Maybe after we save the world and stuff?”
‘We’? Rainbow thought to herself. She looked at her skeptically, but before she could say anything on that score, something else grabbed her attention. “Wait, what did you do with Dinky and Alula?”
Applejack held her up hooves. “Don’t you worry none, we swung by my place and left them with my family. They’ll be safe there ‘til we get their momma and sister back.”
“Thanks,” Rainbow Dash sighed, looking to Zecora. “Those Shadowbolts we fought? Well, they used to be ponies. My friends. Their leader has a daughter and—”
“I see where you’re going my feathered friend,” Zecora said softly. “They can be saved, on this you can depend.”
Rainbow’s face lit up. “Then you mean you have some wicked spell that can change them back to normal or something?”
“I’m afraid I have no such spell, ritual, or incantation.” The zebra frowned. “Only Nightmare Moon’s defeat will undo her conjuration. To save your friends we must end her blight, only then can all things be set right.”
Twilight, her curiosity overriding her nervousness, stepped forward. “That’s why Rainbow Dash went to find you. We need your help to stop Nightmare Moon.”
“Yeah! So do you know any spells that’ll, I dunno, freeze Nightmare Moon in time or banish her into a volcano or something?” Rainbow circled around Zecora impatiently.
The zebra shook her head. “My abilities cannot stop Nightmare Moon. You must find another way, and very soon.”
Rainbow screeched to a halt in midair, suddenly zooming down to stare Zecora down. “You mean I went all the way out to the Everfree Forest to find you and you can’t even help?! Was that stuff you did with the Shadowbolts all you can do? Are you some kind of one-trick zebra?”
“Do not get your tail in a twist, I’m no conjurer of cheap tricks!” Zecora snorted, raising her voice. “But it will take older magic than I possess, so kindly keep quiet if you wish for success.”
Twilight gently tugged Rainbow Dash away from Zecora with her magic.
For her part, Applejack just looked flummoxed. “Why do y’all talk so strange?”
“Deciding what’s normal is a task that’s harder. Wouldn’t y’all reckon that would be the case, pardner?” Zecora asked, stretching her mouth in an attempt to imitate Applejack’s accent.
Pinkie giggled at Applejack. “Hehe! You gotta admit, Applejack, she does a pretty good impression!"
Rainbow also cracked a smile, but even Pinkie’s antics couldn’t distract her right now. “So are you finally going to tell us how we’ll stop Nightmare Moon?”
Zecora exhaled gently, nodding. “There is one force that can stop the dark one—a power with which the day can be won.” She looked around, making sure everypony was listening. “The Elements of Harmony: the most powerful magic known. Against the fell darkness of Nightmare Moon, their powers truly shone. They trapped her in her lunar jail. If you use them, you will not fail.”
Pinkie gasped. “No! Not the Elements of Harmony!”
“You’ve heard of them?” Applejack leaned in hopefully.
“No. Why’d you ask?”
Applejack sighed. “Should’ve known…”
Rainbow did her best to ignore Pinkie's byplay. She was getting in a lot of practice at that. “Sounds good!” she pumped a hoof in the air. “So, just tell me where they are and I’ll go zap that evil nag!”
“Hold on!” Twilight raised a hoof. “Just what are they?”
“Ah, here the legends are unclear, though they cause evil to feel fear.” Zecora turned around and started walking around the clearing. “Some ponies say they are six precious stones, bright and colorful and lovely to own.” Rarity bit down on her lip to prevent herself from squealing. “However,” Zecora drew everypony’s attention back, “others are less sure. They say the elements are the six traits of ponykind, strong and pure.”
Confusion reigned as everypony looked at one another as if making sure they weren’t the only ones who had heard her. “So either these things are magic glowy rocks or they’re nothing at all? Just characteristics?” Rainbow’s voice radiated deadpan skepticism.
“Your summary is simplistic, but not wholly unrealistic,” Zecora admitted.
She facehooved. “Great, any other good news for us? Let me guess: they were lost a thousand years ago after a titanic battle and the only way to find them is to take a long perilous journey through an uncharted land full of unknown dangers?” Zecora wiggled her hoof in a so-so gesture. Rainbow grinned crookedly. “That’s closer to what I was imagining this whole save the world thing was going to be like anyway. I'm in!”
“Hold up now!” Applejack raised a hoof, blocking Rainbow’s way. “You gotta give it more thought than that!”
Rainbow snorted. “Yeah? You think beating Nightmare Moon is gonna be a multiple-choice answer? I’d love to hear what you’ve come up with.”
“I don't know how to fix this!” Applejack admitted. “But I do know that running off into the middle of a dangerous forest with no idea what we're doing ain't the way to fix it. We can't go runnin' after the first hint of somethin' we find that might not add up to anythin', especially when it's this dangerous. Sometimes you gotta slow down, take a deep breath, and think it through.”
“Look, I know it sounds crazy and dangerous.” Rainbow stopped to revise that. “Okay, it is crazy and dangerous! I just almost got killed by some of my best friends! I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and I'm pretty much making this all up as I go! Is that what you wanted to hear?” She took a deep breath to compose herself. “Yeah, this whole Elements thing is a long shot, and I don't have a plan or even know if they’re real. But if there's even a tiny chance I can save my friends and stop Nightmare Moon I have to take it. 'Cause it's what Celestia wanted, because it's the right thing to do, and I know if it was the other way around it's what they'd do for me … and it’s not like we’re about to find any other options.”
Applejack sighed. “Least you know what you're gettin' into.” She paused and took a step forward. “What we're getting into.”
Rainbow Dash looked at her. “‘What ‘we’re’ getting into? The only ‘we’ here is me and Zecora. "This is my job, my fight. You guys are staying here.”
Applejack butted her head against Rainbow’s. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah!”
“Try an’ make me!” She took a step forward, pressing against Dash’s head.
Rainbow flapped her wings, pressing her own head back just as hard. “Maybe I will!”
“That is quite enough!” There was a bright flash as Zecora cracked her staff against the ground. “Fighting doesn’t make you seem tough.”
“This isn’t helping.” Twilight looked pleadingly to her friend. “Rainbow Dash, be reasonable! You can’t expect to find the Elements of Harmony and stop Nightmare Moon all on your own, can you?”
“I’m Queen Celestia’s student. I’m the last pony who saw her before she d-d—” She shook her head, fighting off the memories. “Nightmare Moon took my friends. That makes this my fight. I’m the one Celestia said could stop her, so that’s just what I’m going to do!”
“I truly offer no disrespect, but are you sure that is what she meant?” Zecora spoke up. “You are remarkably skilled, this I have no doubt. But is this what, in the end, this is all about?”
Applejack nodded, surprised to find herself in agreement with the mysterious zebra. “She’s right, Rainbow, and if’n you’ve got a lick of sense in yer head, you’ll listen! Just cause you’re the Queen’s student doesn’t make you better than us!”
Rainbow Dash let out a sharp bark of laughter. “You think that's what this is about? And not, you know, the fact that I've actually been training for this for two years while you just found out an hour ago? That this is my responsibility? Celestia chose me for a reason, and this is it."
“And are you trying to prove that the Queen’s choice in you was justified?” Rarity spoke up. “Darling, I have every confidence in your abilities and the Queen’s judgment. But our town, our families, our world is at stake!” The fashionable unicorn swished her tail anxiously. “Let us help you, we’re your friends.”
Rainbow tossed her head. “Derpy and Cloud Kicker are my friends! Shining Armor is my friend!” She stamped her hoof. “You guys are just … I just met you ponies!” She looked around, pleading for them to understand. “Look, you’re good ponies. But, there’s no way that you’re up to this.” She looked to each one of them, one by one. “When I was out there looking for Zecora, those Shadowbolts … they’re not playing around. They were wearing blades on their wings and doing their best to clip mine. Do you get it?! If you go with me you could get hurt. You could even…” Rainbow exhaled. “I—I just lost some of my best friends tonight. I don’t want to lose anypony else. This is my fight.”
“Rainbow Dash...” Applejack began, but Rainbow just shook her head.
“No, AJ! This is just … this is beyond all of you. I’ve actually done the impossible before. Have you?” Rainbow Dash raised her head. “Have any of you?”
For a moment, there was nothing. The silence was overbearing. Rainbow panted, more tired than after a day of stunt flying.
Then there was the gentlest of coughs. “I have.” Every head turned to the meekest pony of them all as Fluttershy stepped forward. She said softly as she walked over to her old friend, “I used to be a scared, weak flyer, too shy and timid to ever do anything on my own.” She looked at Rainbow, who saw there were tears in her large teal eyes. “Then I met the most amazing, impossible pony ever. She showed me how to be stronger even as she always stood up for me.” She gave Rainbow a nuzzle. “Now I have my own home in a new town, with lots of animal friends … and even some new pony ones. And—and I’m not going to abandon my oldest friends ever. Not Cloud Kicker or Ditzy Doo or Blossomforth and certainly not you. If—if I can do that … then the others can too. We’re not going to hold you back, Rainbow Dash; we’re going to hold you up.”
“Fluttershy...” Rainbow shook her head, speechless.
“We’re coming Rainbow,” she said. “All of us. And I’m not taking no for an answer.” She let out a startled squeak as Rainbow swept her up into a tight embrace. Then it was Rainbow’s turn as Twilight, Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie all hugged her.
Zecora gave a faint smile. “At last, it would appear that we are finally ready.” Picking up her staff, she tucked it underneath the straps of her saddle bags and started deeper into the forest. “We have a long way to go, so keep your paces steady.” Seeing her depart, the others fell into line behind her, Rainbow taking to the air above her.
Then she frowned as she realized something. “Wait a minute … Zecora, how’d you know my name when I never told you it?”
The zebra trudged on in silence.
Yay! Another update in a week!
Usand.
You missed a space in the bottom coupla paragraphs.
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Thanks, appreciate it!
Well, Rainbow's friends are sticking by her side, so hopefully she'll soon realize she can't do this without them anyway.
A little mistake here. You had the entire group teleport from a clearing in the Everfree Forest, back to the library.
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Actually, no. Yeah, I was surprised by this too, but an editor brought it to my attention that "blank and I" isn't always correct.
https://grammarpartyblog.com/2013/03/26/you-and-i-vs-you-and-me/
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Yeah. I just edited the joke out. When I originally wrote it I had Rainbow Dash say "me and Zecora" only to have Twilight "correct" her with "Zecora and I" ... but my editor pointed out that Rainbow Dash actually WAS being grammatically correct. Since the joke didn't make sense otherwise, I just nixed it.
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Maybe, but Twilight wouldn't be wrong with her grammar. =P
Yay for another chapter! I loved Rainbow Dash's fight with the Shadowbolts. She was quite skilled and intelligent, there.
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English. Grammar rules? They're more like guidelines anyway. Exceptions everywhere.
I'd say it is because they are actually just extensions of NMM's will right now, machines rather than individuals.
Because Zecroa knows far more about whats going on (as well as several future events) than she's telling, and she's manipulating you to follow her script?
Good old universal greeting, works every time... new where are the energon snacks?
Something I never got was why Dash's whole "I know you're there" thing didn't do ANYTHING with Derpy and Shining. Of course, I wouldn't have expected it to snap them out of it just like that, but I would have expected them to just hesitate ever-so-slightly.
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In this particular case, it isn't that "[blank] and me" is an exception, it's that people got it wrong so often, and were corrected so often, but nobody actually bothered to tell people why it was incorrect.
It's actually really easy to tell whether you're using it correctly. Just get rid of the proper noun.
"Rarity and I went into the boutique" is the correct version, because if you get rid of the "Rarity" part, it reads, "I went into the boutique." That's a pretty obvious example, though.
Let's use the example from the story. "What ‘we’re’ getting into? The only ‘we’ here is me and Zecora."
That sounds incorrect, since we are so used to how things are corrected, but the only possible error here is that it is normally more polite to mention the other party first. "The only 'we' here is me" is grammatically correct, even though it sounds strange, but you can easily tell when you replace it with "I":
"The only 'we' here is I."
That just sounds absurd.
A lot of grammar rules are like this. They sound complicated or weird, but they are often really easy to find when you reduce a sentence to a simpler form. Especially when sentences are longer, with all sorts of additional clauses that muddy up the basic structure.
"Draught" is pronounced "draft." I know, it looks wrong to me too.
Yeah, that’s a problem!
I recommend nixing the italics on ‘herself’, adding italics to demark Rainbow’s running thoughts.
I recommend em dashes here. ‘As they adjusted course—an attack vector, Rainbow realized with growing concern—she caught a glimpse…’
‘Course’ is used twice in the same sentence, which is a little redundant. Also, ‘barreling’ is misspelled.
Super minor nitpick, but can she see their eyes if they’re hidden behind those yellow goggles?
How is she able to tell which one’s which if they’re wearing identical flight suits? Again, super minor, just a passing thought that occurred.
This is great!
She fell back to gather herself.
Slightly awkward phrasing. Suggest ‘Derpy was moving like she had all of Cloud Kicker’s knowledge and know-how.’
She wasn’t moving in a way Derpy should have been able to.
‘She couldn’t talk them around’ is a strange turn of phrase to me, maybe ‘She couldn’t talk them down’ would work better here.
Maybe ‘The only way to put them right’ or ‘The only way to set them right,’ just a minor tweak.
The action here is really quick, but the paragraphs drag their feet a little. I suggest breaking these up.
I’ve got to get under the tree level! The thick brush would keep them from being able to use their weapons effectively.
When the Shadowbolts moved in to tighten the net around her, Rainbow Dash responded by spinning around in a tight circle. She flew faster and faster until her wake formed a small rainbow-colored tornado. The wind tugged at her mane and tail and she had to fight to keep from being sucked in herself, but she needed this to work.
She looked up and saw the Shadowbolts had stopped the circling maneuvers, intent on just trying to stay in the air. Perfect.
Rainbow seized the moment and bolted down to the treetops.
This is just one paragraph as an example. There are others that could also be broken down.
This section’s played it a little fast and loose with commas, but I think you definitely need one here for clarity. ‘They flapped, frantically trying to right themselves.’
I love the descriptiveness here, but there a might be a way to rephrase this in a more sensory, tactile way to help the reader get deeper into Rainbow Dash’s head. ‘She zipped by them so close, she felt the kiss of cold morning dew upon her cheeks, the rustle of the ancient leaves against her wingtips’ — something like this, maybe. Just a thought. This is an action scene, so it shouldn’t waste too much time on little details like these, but sprinkling in sensory details can really create a magical experience for the reader.
A lot of these are really minor suggested edits. Here, I think I would just take out ‘she wryly mused,’ as it adds a needless pause to the action scene. ‘And to think all the ponies back in Canterlot said she was wasting her time with all her stunt flying and slaloming through the towers!’
Recommend avoiding the passive voice as much as possible, especially during a breathless action scene like this one. Instead of ‘Her mind was abuzz,’ maybe ‘Her mind buzzed with a thousand stray observations…’
A couple problems here. ‘A plan that so brilliant’ is flawed construction, past tense shifts abruptly to present tense with ‘it’s a wonder,’ and the sentence is missing a comma after the introductory phrase. I would just rewrite the paragraph a little.
Rainbow zoomed from place to place, but found nothing that resembled a pony dwelling. She seethed at the futility of it all. Then she came up with a plan so brilliant, it was a wonder it didn’t physically light up the woods.
“Where are you?!”
Well, Rainbow Dash never was known for her brilliant strategic mind.
There are many sentences like this that feature an introductory phrase, but no comma to offset it. Not sure if this is an oversight or being purposely done for effect. If the latter is the case, and the goal is to make the writing more breathless, consider weeding out filler like ‘Chancing a look behind her’ entirely.
She banked and zoomed through the trees. They were still right behind her! Her eyes widened. “What? How can they be—?”
I love this simile! Once again, missing a comma here.
‘Something Rainbow Dash had learned was that’ kind of weakens this sentence. I recommend cutting it out. Just leave it at ‘If the other side wasn’t playing fair, she would have to change up her strategy.’
I don’t think you need the last sentence here.
Clotheslining is one word, no hyphen needed.
Rainbow groans twice here. Redundant.
The semicolon here should be replaced with a comma or an em dash, depending on preference.
Period and capital letter here would be better as comma and lower case.
Yeesh! This got dark quick.
Mohawk is not a proper noun, unless referring to the Mohawk tribe of Native American Indians.
This semicolon should be replaced with a comma.
One of the things I most enjoy about this story is seeing all the little ways Rainbow Dash stands in contrast to her analogue from the canon universe. Being able to greet Zecora in her native Zebrican is no doubt a mark of the diplomacy skills Celestia’s teachings have imparted. It makes me smile to see it.
Looks like the others haven’t quite overcome their prejudice yet. My hopes are pinned on Rainbow being a good emissary and showing the others there’s nothing to fear from Zecora.
What does ‘the answer is undoubtedly you’ mean here?
More signs of self-deprecation from Twilight here, although it isn’t too far afield from her aversion to boasting in Boast Busters. I continue to wonder about this Twilight’s past. Seemingly, she lost control of her magic when the sonic rainboom happened at her entrance exam, and Celestia wasn’t there to calm her down and tell her to control her magic because she was in Cloudsdale at the time. So Twilight failed her entrance exam due to lack of control…? If that’s the case, where is Spike? She should still have hatched him, shouldn’t she?
Get wrecked, Rarity.
How is she standing if she’s holding up more than one hoof? (Forgive my nitpicking.)
‘Draught’ is actually pronounced like ‘draft,’ so rhyming with ‘wrought’ doesn’t work here.
This is really good.
Double quotation marks here.
Isn’t that exactly what they did in S1E2, though? If this story continues to trace the same narrative contours at the premiere, they’re gonna have to go to the castle. I don’t see how there’s any getting around that.
‘Not good enough’ is one of the arc phrases from my own fanfic, where Rainbow Dash is constantly trying to prove to everybody else how good she is (because she secretly doubts it herself). The same hasn’t been a theme in this story, though it felt like it might have been back in the first chapter.
Rainbow only has one reason for throwing this at Twilight: pride.
I think it makes her pretty unsympathetic. There’s a myriad of reasons why Rainbow might not want the other five to accompany her on her mission. Her protectiveness and her drive to keep others safe. Latent guilt over Derpy/Cloud, not wanting to put even more ponies in harm’s way. But those reasons aren’t touched on at all here, and I think Rainbow’s character suffers for it. She’s showcasing all her worst traits from the show: arrogance, brashness, and stupidity.
It's hard to fault Appelack here when Rainbow is acting so blockheaded. The only instinct she’s displayed so far is ego.
It kind of feels like the story is toying around with this idea of Rainbow needing to prove herself. I think it would make her more sympathetic, but the groundwork hasn’t been laid in previous chapters, so it would be a little out of left field. As far as I can tell, what Rarity is alleging here is decidedly not the reason Rainbow has volunteered to go it alone. Rainbow is one million percent confident in herself. She doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone.
This is the first time any kind of protective instinct has come up. It’s a better look for Rainbow than the sheer egotism she was flaunting before, but it arrives a little late, and there isn’t a lot of connecting sinew to prior events with Celestia, Derpy, and Cloud. I think there needs to be a more obvious throughline.
An issue I have with this scene is that, although the story makes every effort to describe the stuff Rainbow is there to witness, it never gets into her head. She’s the main character, but we’re rarely shown what’s she’s thinking, what she’s feeling. Instead, there’s an impartial telling of events that happen, words that get spoken… But they’re all disconnected from Rainbow’s perspective, Rainbow’s motivations and emotions. That makes it harder to relate to her or to figure out where she’s coming from. We’re not really seeing this scene through her eyes, so we’re forced to guess at her intentions.
…Yeah, how did she?
About halfway through the chapter, I started making a list of sentences that are missing commas, whether due to an introductory phrase, a compound sentence, an interjection, or some other reason… This isn’t a complete list, and there are quite a few more elsewhere in the chapter that I didn’t catalogue, but here are the ones I copied down.
Turning around she found herself face to face with the third Shadowbolt.
struggled but they each grabbed one of her forelegs, forcing her up onto her rear hooves.
Then with lightning speed the staff lashed out
Pinkie Pie meanwhile was darting in between the confused and scattered Shadowbolts
And those Shadowbolts used to be my friends and I’m going to save them!
Twilight her curiosity overriding her nervousness, stepped forward.
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Sent a note! Thanks!
"And...you! The other one! Who is just as important!"
"I am one with the Force and the Force is with me".
For supposedly being an entire gigantic forest, it's kind of interesting how easy it is to find someone in the Everfree Forest. Like I don't know that anyone's ever had any trouble...except Chrysalis. Which maybe just says more about Chrysalis than the Everfree.
I.e., "why is Plan B always the better one?"
Fun fact, when FiM premiered in Japan, the Japanese audiences were confused by the fact that Nightmare Moon was defeated so quickly. Mosst had assumed that finding the Elements would be a season-long storyline. Can't say that would have been bad, but American kid's shows do tend a little more towards the episodic, or at least they did at the time of FiM's premier. These days less so, it seems like everyone's bought into the "TV novella" thing popularized by Game of Thrones (but started by Babylon 5!)
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Now half-way through!
Clicked onto this chapter again and noticed this typo, which I evidently didn't catch last time.
Okay, that made me choke laugh.
Oof. That's a rough rhyme. I would suggest "You are correct, I cannot deny, / for if you look, no pony am I." It highlights the play on words, nixes me pointing out that they indeed cannot see that she isn't a pony because of her cloak, and is perfectly balanced as all things should be.