Chapter Two - The Best, Possible, THING!!!
"WHAT?! What do you mean there's no rehearsal today!?" Octavia screamed in horror at her conductor, a sheepish grin on his face as he rubbed the back of his head with his hoof, sitting in his comfy office chair.
"I mean there's no rehearsal today Miss Sharpe, we cancelled it remember?" he said, a sympathetic look in his eyes as Octavia face-hoofed.
"Ugh...it figures! The one day I'm REALLY late is the day I go into a rush over nothing!" she whined, slumping in the seat in front of the conductor's desk as he shook his head, looking at the bags under her eyes and pushing a cup of hot tea across the desk towards her. She took it gingerly and sipped it as her conductor gave her a worried look and asked
"Are you ok Octavia? You look like you haven't been sleeping that much..." At this Octavia laughed and waved a hoof about in an over-dramatic fashion, shouting
"Of course I'm alright! Trust me sir, I haven't felt better in ages!" Her conductor grimaced at this, looking at her with great uncertainty as she laughed a bit louder then one would deem appropriate.
It had been about twenty minutes since Octavia had been brought by carriage to the Ponyville Harmonics Center, a large octagon shaped building near the edge of town. It was here that Octavia and the rest of the symphony had been practicing for a giant concert that was going to be held in Canterlot this year. All the details were hush-hush however, the symphony set on a strictly 'need-to-know' basis when it concerned information. Octavia cleared her throat as the Conductor gave her another worrying glance. Catching this, Octavia raised an eyebrow and asked "What, is something wrong sir?" The conductor put his face in his hooves, sighing loudly and lowering them to speak quickly
"Ok Miss Sharpe, let's face it...your performance lately has been....lacking..." Octavia scoffed, sitting up in her seat with an angry expression on her face and shouting
"Lacking!? How can I be lacking!? I make it to EVERY performance, EVERY rehearsal! I practice at least six to eight hours a day with my music and you say I'm LACKING!?" Her conductor nodded as he banged his hoof on his desk, shouting back
"Exactly! Octavia you spend so much time with MUSIC you barely spend anytime with YOURSELF! Your notes are met perfectly as you play and the quality is good, but that's just it! It's just good. I'm looking for splendor, grace, a rich pitch! I'm looking for beautiful, not good! The last four rehearsal's you were falling ASLEEP Octavia! The only thing that's, and yes I'll say it, creepy about that is the fact that you were playing the piece perfectly in your sleep! Octavia I need you wide-awake and vibrant! Pouring your soul into those notes and into this music! I can't have a dead-weight cello-ist slowing the rest of the symphony down Octavia!"
Octavia's jaw dropped as her eyes filled with tears, her whimpers making the conductor groan with frustration and face-hoof
"I...I'm...dead weight!? Sir you don't mean to s..say...that I'm fired!?" The conductor shook his head and sighed, muttering
"No Miss Sharpe...you're not fired...but mark my words when I say you need to seriously get your priorities straight! Don't get me wrong Miss Sharpe, you're a wonderful, beautiful cello player...it's just that we need you as a pony to be wonderful and beautiful, do you understand?" Octavia looked diagonally up, thinking for a moment before shaking her head and muttering
"Not really, no..." The conductor face-hoofed again and half shouted
"Attend to yourself for a change Miss Sharpe! Take the next week off, go see a movie, get a hoof-icure at the spa, take a walk on the beach, just do someth-" he was cut off by Octavia's sudden scream of protest
"A WEEK!? With all due respect sir but are you OUT OF YOUR MIND!? I can't be away from practice for a week!!! How will I EVER be up to speed on the sheet music we're practicing for the concert?! A week is simply too long!" The conductor shook his head, slamming his hoof on the desk and shouting
"NO! I've said my piece and you WILL adhere to it Miss Sharpe! One week and that's FINAL! If I even catch a rumor of you practicing and not relaxing, I WILL be giving the lead strings section seat to Vallon!" Octavia gasped loudly, her hooves flying up over her mouth as she whispered with horror
"You wouldn't dare!!!" The conductor raised an eyebrow and said
"Try me, good day Miss Sharpe."
~~~
"Relax he says, take the week off he says. Is he an IDIOT!? Does he even know what a week of untrained physique and practice will do to a high-class performer like myself!?" Octavia grumbled, trudging through the northern streets of Ponyville. "Relax? How does one even?! I have no time for lazing about when I have a performance to prepare for! Oh, I'm nowhere NEAR ready to perform! I'll have to find a place to stay for the week...perhaps an inn or something." She trotted up towards the local restaurant, sighing as she seated herself at a table outside and put her head on the table. "How am I going to last a whole week without my hooves on my cello?" she whimpered, a menu being brought out to her by a waiter who casually flicked his eyes up and down, scanning them over Octavia's body and flank. Being a musician, Octavia learned at an early age to use her peripheral vision so she could keep an eye on her sheet music and the conductor at the same time. It also worked pretty well for spotty snooty waiters whose dirty eyes were traveling all over them.
Octavia looked over with a menacing glare and hissed "If you're QUITE done observing my elegant physical stature, perhaps you'll put your flank in gear and go about getting me a fresh-cut salad with Italimare dressing and a glass of water with a quarter-slice lemon?" The waiter blushed and nodded, heading inside the building to place her order. Octavia sighed, frowning as she stared down at the table. When her dish was finally brought out to her she smiled, her belly grumbling for attention. Just as she was about to take the first bite however, a high-pitch squeal from behind her had her flying up out of her chair. She landed and spun around, holding her hooves up like she was being arrested, her chest heaving for air. A gorgeous mare with a dazzling white coat and deep purple mane was standing nearby, her sapphire eyes twinkling and her mouth set in the widest smile a pony could ever have imagined. She squealed with delight as the white mare got a good look at her face and half-screamed with delight
"Sweet Celestia! My dear, you wouldn't happen to be the Octavia Cavallero Sharpe would you!?" Octavia lowered her hooves, a small smile forming on her lips as she partially blushed and chuckled, muttering
"Why...yes, Octavia C. Sharpe, that is me, how do you d-" she was cut off by the white mare screaming with delight and rushing up towards her, taking Octavia's hoof in her own two and shaking it rapidly
"Oh this has got to be the best, possible, THING to have ever to have happened to me!!! Oh darling you must tell me what brings you to Ponyville!" Octavia chuckled and looked back at her sandwich with a look of longing and asked
"Um...well miss....miss...?"
"Rarity." She answered with a whip of her mane and a batting of her eyelashes. Octavia raised an eyebrow and nodded
"Rarity...well, um, would you mind joining me for lunch, I'll be able to-" She was interrupted again by Rarity screaming again with such delight she thought her head would explode
"HAVING LUNCH WITH OCTAVIA C. SHARPE!!!!!! OH, MY, GOSH!!!!"
"-to...explain why I'm here..." Octavia finished quietly, sighing and shaking her head.
~~~
"Oh I've listened to HUNDREDS of your ensembles while I've worked. You're such an inspiration to many of us fashion designers darling!" Rarity said, taking a polite bite out of her own Italimare salad and carefully dabbing her lips with a napkin. Octavia blushed as she took a bite out of her own and mumbled
"Nice to have a fan..." Rarity looked up and asked after finishing her salad
"So darling, what brings you to Ponyville? Surely a pony of your talents, your grace, beauty even, belongs in the high-class, prestigious country-clubs of Canterlot!" Octavia blushed like mad at all of the praise and rubbed the back of her head with a hoof and chuckled sheepishly
"W...well...actually I'm on...um...paid vacation right now..." Rarity blinked and suddenly frowned, a sympathetic look in her eyes as she laid a gentle hoof on Octavia's and whispered
"Your boss said you were going crazy didn't he?" Octavia blinked in surprise as she asked
"How...did you...?" Rarity smiled and gave her hoof a comforting pat
"It happens to all of us artists dear. We tend to get a little ahead of ourselves and overwork constantly. How long will you be staying in town?" Octavia sighed and looked down at her empty dish
"About a week...I suppose..." Rarity smiled with glee and held her hoof up, half-shouting in a proclaiming manner
"Then I, Rarity of Ponyville, shall see to it that the Midnight Mare Inn will supply you with their private, first-class suite!" Octavia shook her head rapidly, holding a hoof out to Rarity and shouting
"But Miss Rarity I don't know if I could afford-" She was cut off by Rarity sticking a hoof in her mouth and shouting
"Oh DARLING, you didn't think I was going to just let you pay for it did you!? It's all on my tab dear!" Octavia blushed like mad as she drooled all over Rarity's hoof, mumbling as she tried to talk past the blockage of her mouth
"Mmphpmhmmmh!!!" She squeaked as Rarity shook her head
"No buts darling! This is the least I could do for the great Octavia C. Sharpe of The Equestrian Symphony of Orchestrated Canterlotian Harmonics!!!"
"MMMPPHHHH!!!!" Octavia screamed through Rarity's hoof, her face a deep red as she tried desperately to protest. Rarity sighed and looked up at the sky, the sun moving just past the mark of 'noon'. She looked at Octavia and smiled as she pulled her hoof out with a slight 'pop' and stood up, giving a wave with her drool covered hoof and trotting away
"Well darling I must be off! Lunch break is over! If the innkeeper asks say 'Miss Rarity has reserved the 'Mareifique Suite for one Octavia C. Sharpe!' Ta ta!!!"
~~~
Octavia face-hoofed as she mumbled for the sixth time
"I told you, for the LAST TIME, Miss Rarity said it would be on her tab! You can ask her yourself!!!" The Inn-keeper gave her a weird, untrustworthy look as he slowly slid the key over the counter, muttering
"Alright...but I swear if you're lying to me...there's gonna be hell to pay Missy!" Octavia scoffed and took the key up in her mouth, walking by with a low
"Why I never!"
Once she had found the room on the third floor (Which was aggravating to get to with all the stairs...), she took the key and unlocked the door, pushing through it with a gentle shove of her shoulder. Once inside, the key dropped to the ground with a loud clatter as she gasped, her eyes widening. The room was massive, a gigantic Royalty-Sized bed adorning the far end of the room with red-velvet curtains and rose pedals adorning its surface. Scented candles were lit around the room that let forth the fragrance of sweet, delicious roses. A large, wooden tub rested in one corner of the room and was filled with steaming hot water, a large variety of shower bottles lining the walls next to it. A study desk was set up on the right side of the room and in the middle...in the middle was a small, circular stage, complete with music stand and chair. Octavia looked at this room and felt her jaw drop, the realization of it all hitting her like a ton of a bricks. This room looked as if Rarity had gotten to it before she made it to the inn...it looked like it had been prepared specifically for a musician...and for a lover as well. A mad blush set across her face as she slowly made her way to the stage, pulling her cello case off her back and gently laying it down on the chair. She backed up quietly, closing the door with a low creak and her blush intensifying as she took once last look at the rose-colored bed.
~~~
"What do you mean 'what is there to do in this town'? Don't you like your room well enough?" The inn-keeper asked, an annoyed expression on his face. Octavia grinned sheepishly and muttered
"Well...yes, the room is lovely it's just...I haven't been to Ponyville in awhile...not since Nightmare Night. I'd just like somewhere to go...get off my hooves for a bit...get a sweeter taste on my tongue if you know what I mean..." The shop-keeper raised an eyebrow and muttered
"A...bar?" Octavia blushed and waved her hoof about, shouting
"N...no! Just a nice place to...get my mind off things, relax, get a good drink and all..."
"A bar." The inn-keeper stated, rolling his eyes as Octavia frowned at him. "Hold on" he sighed, flipping over the local directory catalog on his desk and looking down a list of bars. Only three were in the local vicinity and he knew two of them were known to take advantage of mares like Octavia: Dumb, pompous, and full of themselves. He smiled at the last one, knowing that this particular 'bar' would give this mare the kick in the flank she probably deserved. He looked up and smiled, making Octavia uncomfortable as he whispered menacingly "I know of one...it's located eight doors down from the Ponyville Library, just across the street from Bon-Bon's Coffee and Sweets Shop. Just look for a really big Stallion wearing all black and guarding a set of stairs going downwards. If you see a line of Pony's outside, just go up to the stallion and whisper 'Scratch me Vinyl, I'm ready to party!'. He'll see you in." Octavia's eyes widened as she frowned, stuttering with a squeak as she asked
"W...what's the name...of t..this place?" The inn-keeper smiled and whispered right in her face
"Vinyl's Cage Corral, enjoy!"
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Octavia C#. I about died there. Music nerd here.
a abr is an excellent place to get a drink XD. the innkeeper is a total douche
I don't like that you changed her name. It bothered me deeply, as if it wasn't actually octavia. Her name is Octavia Philharmonica.
I was looking for something to satiate my OctaScratch fix when I found this one buried in the pile. It's pretty good so far, and I especially like the setup in chapter one, but in chapter two, I noticed something that really bothered me about the formatting.
One pony's dialogue is placed on a new line that also contains the actions of another pony. This makes it a chore to keep track of who is whom when the actions don't match the dialogue that's on the same line. Also, there should be commas before quotes. Especially in the sections with a lot of dialogue, the lack of commas left a lot of words without anything to cap them off before the next line, where the dialogue began (even though it should have been on the same line to begin with). It looks like you were trying to adhere to the rule "new speaker, new paragraph;" but you neglected the fact that it's not about the speaker, it's about the focus. Whenever the focus has shifted to a different character, it should be a new paragraph. I'm enjoying the story so far, but this was just really uncomfortable to read like this. If this keeps up in future chapters, I might have to stop reading it before I get to the end. Which would be a shame, since I like where the story is going.
-----
"Your boss said you were going crazy didn't he?" Octavia blinked in surprise as she asked
"How...did you...?" Rarity smiled and gave her hoof a comforting pat
-----
Rarity blinked and suddenly frowned, a sympathetic look in her eyes as she laid a gentle hoof on Octavia's and whispered, "Your boss said you were going crazy didn't he?"
Octavia blinked in surprise. "How...did you...?"
Rarity smiled and gave her hoof a comforting pat. "It happens to all of us artists dear. We tend to get a little ahead of ourselves and overwork constantly."
3925042
Italian, i believe.
You're right sir that is amazing and creepy.