Pride And Performance
Pinkie Pie sat in Sugar Cube Corner, leaning close to Nova with an eager face. “Can you say ‘Pinkie’? ‘Pinkie Pie’?” Nova babbled incoherently, putting his hooves on the mare’s cheeks. “Oh, come on… You talked yesterday! Why can’t you say ‘Pinkie’?”
“It’s no use, Pinkie.” Boltsinger called from the table he sat at with Twilight, looking over an intricately detailed schedule. “He hasn’t even said ‘Da-da’ again since that one time, let alone proper names.”
“Awww…” Pinkie brought her hooves up over the colt’s, moving them around to squish her cheeks. “Well, at least he said something!”
“Yup. Now we just need to figure out how we’re gonna get more ponies around to teach him more.” He leaned back over the schedule, pointing to a particular point in the timeline. “So, I understand that you’re all going to be taking him during your free periods, but what about when none of you have one?”
“I hadn’t thought of that…” Twilight stated. “I was thinking of Starlight, but she’s so busy with her duties as guidance counselor and helping Trixie with her next performance that I couldn’t possibly ask her!”
“Wait a minute, Trixie’s in town?” Boltsinger wondered, looking at the lilac mare. She silently nodded, keeping her attention on the schedule. “You could’ve told me, you know!” He fell back to his slouch over the parchment. “I think I’ll stop by her wagon later. See if we can set up one of our bits to perform along with her show.” A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he thought back on previous encounters with the illusionist. “I mean, if there’s one pony that can put on a show, it’s her! Even if it’s just for…” His eyes widened as the blackened light bulb above his head turned on. “... one… pony…” He sprang to his hooves, excitedly twitching his tail. “That’s it!”
That night, Boltsinger and Starlight shared the stage with a blue-coated Unicorn mare with a wispy white and blue mane and tail, dark violet eyes, and the cockiest grin the stallion had ever known. She sported a large purple wizard’s hat and cape adorned with star and moon patterns, with what looked to be a diamond clip holding the cape on. Every sway of her garment revealed a Cutie Mark of a star-tipped magic wand leaving a wispy wave of magic in its wake. The three ponies simultaneously stomped a foreleg, spreading their other forelegs wide in a formation that accentuated the blue mare as she threw down a number of smoke bombs to conceal herself. From within the smoke, there was the sound of galloping while the curtain fell and the crowd burst into cheers.
Boltsinger stepped backstage alongside his magical friend, smiling like a giddy foal. “Oh, sweet Celestia, have I missed that!”
Starlight smiled over at the stallion, trotting over to some of the props. “Missed performing that much, huh?”
“More like he missed sharing the stage with the Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trrrixie!” The blue mare declared, stepping into the prop area with a grandly raised foreleg and without her hat and cape. She stopped beside Boltsinger, sending him a grateful smile. “Though, I must admit, you do bring a nice dramatic flair to the stage. You’re easily my favorite warm-up act!”
Boltsinger smirked back, letting out a snicker. “I’m your only warm-up act.”
“Well, you’re the audience’s favorite warm-up act, too.” She stressed. “They always have the best cheers when you’re added to the mix!”
“I do my best.” Boltsinger affirmed, brushing a hoof against his prized pendant. “It’s fun to be your Great and Powerful warm-up!”
The two performance ponies shared a hoof bump as the mare loosed a yawn. “So, what was it you wanted to ask me, anyway?”
“Oh, I’ll tell you tomorrow.” He replied, waving a dismissive hoof. “You seem pretty tired. How about a nice, warm bed at the castle?”
Trixie let out another yawn into her hoof, nodding at the idea of a comfy bed. “That sounds great… You two go ahead, though. I’ll catch up.” Starlight and Boltsinger each nodded with understanding, heading out. Trixie spent the next few minutes putting everything away in as organized a fashion as possible, finding herself glad that she had allowed Twilight to set up a system that she could follow. When everything was in its place, she brushed her forehooves together, taking a satisfied breath as she exited her stage into the park. She trotted along through town, taking a bow at passing ponies. As she passed the cafe, a haughty voice caught her ear.
“Oh my gosh! I just loved Prince Boltsinger’s performance tonight!” One mare exclaimed.
“I know, right?” Another affirmed, slamming her hooves on the table. “I just wish he would perform more often!”
The first mare laughed. “Yeah! Way better than that ‘gross and pathetic’ Trixie, or whatever she calls herself!”
Trixie felt a powerful stab pierce her heart, giving her a kind of pain she hadn’t felt in a long time as she brought her hoof up over it. “Gross and pathetic?”
Oblivious to the impact hitting so close to them, the other mare joined in the laughter. “That’s so true! She’s such a ham! I don’t know how somepony as great as Prince Bolt can stand being onstage with her!”
Trixie hung her head, slowly rising to her hooves. Gross and pathetic, am I? I’ll show them! She sauntered out from behind the hedge, flipping her mane as she held her head high. “I must say, you mares have some…” She sent a side-eyed squint at the two of them. “... interesting opinions.”
The mares stopped laughing. They turned to look at the illusionist they had spoken of with a mild gawk. “Oh! Trixie! What a coincidence! We were just talking about how--”
“‘Gross and pathetic’ you think I am?!” She finished, glaring daggers at them. “Oh, it’s fine for you to have such a CRAZY opinion of me! I even have a prize for those who are so brutally honest!”
A terrified, nervous laugh escaped the mares, sending both of them sitting up perfectly straight in their chairs. “Oh? What kind of…” The speaking mare swallowed a sizable lump in her throat. “... prize… is it?”
Trixie’s horn flared to life as she aimed at the table. “A teacup!” She let out a blast of magic from her horn that barrelled towards the table, creating a white glow that enveloped its surface, turning it into a small, lilac teacup with a swirl pattern on the side. “Teacup! Teacup teacup teacup teacup teacup TEACUP!!!” With each repetition of the word, she sent another beam at each of the chairs, turning them into the same kind of teacup and dropping the mares on top, shattering the freshly-made china. Subsequent beams went for their jewelry, food, and the liquid in their cups, leaving the two terrified mares sitting on the cold ground, surrounded by teacups and staring totally befuddled at the teary-eyed Trixie before them. The magician in question continued to seethe, trying to calm herself as she continued on her way to the castle. The mares’ words, however, refused to leave her thoughts. Gross and pathetic, huh? They think I’m so much worse than Bolt, huh? I’ll show them! I’ll show them all! She stopped short of the castle door, doing an about-face and wiping her eyes free of the tears that encroached on her. I’m gonna blow Bolt out of the water! Then they’ll see who the best performer is!!! With that, her gallop began anew, heading back to her beloved wagon.
The next morning, Twilight, Boltsinger, Scootaloo, Starlight, and Spike walked into the park where Trixie’s stage was set up, pushing along Nova’s carriage. Boltsinger had been gushing about the show he’d taken part in all night, and Scootaloo had become excited to see what might come next from the pair of performers. As they neared the fountain, a large number of ponies gathered around them with ecstatic expressions.
“To what do we owe the honor of a crowd today?” Boltsinger wondered, eyeing all the smiling faces.
Starlight shrugged, continuing onward. “They probably just want to talk about last night. It was pretty memorable.”
Scootaloo looked around the park, raising her hoof up over her eyes. There was a thick, purple smoke seeping in from the bushes and trees, slowly approaching the fountain and surrounding the ponies. “I think there might be another reason everypony is so excited…” She motioned to the various sources of smoke, bringing it to the other ponies’ attention.
“Booooooooltsingeeeeeeeeeer… Booooooooooooooltsingeeeeeeeeeeeer!!!” Trixie’s voice moaned from the distance. “You have brought shame upon the Great and Powerful Trixie!” The bushes across the way rustled, sending the sound of hooves cantering up to them. “And for that… You… will…” With a flash and a bang, Trixie appeared in front of Boltsinger, standing on her hind legs with her forelegs raised high. “... PAY!!!”
Boltsinger’s rump hit the ground almost instantly. He knew this was all just some of Trixie’s shenanigans, but that didn’t stop the execution from being good enough to send a chill down his spine. He looked up at the angry illusionist with wide, curious eyes. “What is it I supposedly need to 'pay' for? Did I do something wrong?”
Trixie aggressively pressed her hoof against the Pegasus’ chest. “You.” The hoof moved to point at herself. “Me.” She motioned to the stage. “Onstage.” The hoof finally stomped on the ground at Boltsinger’s hooves. “Tomorrow.” She jutted her head forward, stopping less than an inch from his face. “COMPETITION!”
“Uh… Why are we competing?” He inquired.
“Everypony thinks you’re so great onstage!” She spat, throwing her head back and turning her eyes towards her stage. “Always singing ‘Prince Bolt’s’ praises while I get called ‘gross and pathetic’...” She stomped her hoof again. “It’s not fair!” With a flourish of her cape, she spun around to face the stallion again. “So, you and I are going to have a contest! We’re going to prove, once and for all, who the best performer in Ponyville really is!”
Boltsinger’s head inquisitively tilted. “But… why compete? You’re a way better performer than I am!”
Twilight, Spike, and Scootaloo immediately snapped their attention to the humble stallion, the purple pony quirking an eyebrow. “Really? You think so?”
Boltsinger nodded profusely, pointing at the pony of prestidigitation. “Of course! She’s got a well-established, always-improving magic show that she has years of experience with!” He motioned to himself, letting his head sink. “I sing and flap my wings.” He made a twirling motion with one of the feathers on his wing. “Biiiiig whoop. She has a lot over me as a performer. Better stage presence, better act, better--"
“Voice?” Trixie smugly suggested. All eyes fell upon her, with the orange Pegasus blinking a few times, as if trying to process what he had just heard.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” He asked, raising a questioning hoof.
Trixie raised a cocky eyebrow, letting a fiercely confident smirk onto her face. “I’m saying that I have a better singing voice than you!”
Boltsinger let out a laugh as he put a feather in his ear, digging out what wax he could find. “I… must be hearing things, because I thought I heard you say you had a better singing voice than me!”
“Oh, you’re not hearing things.” The Unicorn corrected, poking his chest with her hoof. “I do sing better than you! Not that that’s hard to do.”
“Not that hard to--" Boltsinger raised his rump, standing to his full height as something seemed to flip in his mind. His eyes narrowed, his brow furrowed, and his wings spread so rapidly that the smoke surrounding them cleared in an instant. “Oh, it’s on!” He declared, leaning in face-to-face with the blue pony. “You wanna compete? Let’s compete!” His hoof forcefully came forward, poking her at the base of the neck. “Your voice against mine. Put your music where your muzzle is!”
“Sounds good to me!” Trixie confirmed.
“Fine!” Boltsinger shouted with a hard stomp.
Trixie turned around, beginning a trot back to her wagon. “FINE!”
Boltsinger raised his hoof, shaking it furiously. “I’m gonna sing circles around you, Lulamoon! YOU HEAR ME?! CIRCLES!!!” He stomped his hoof one more time, turning around with a fierce snort as he began walking away.
As the stallion passed his family, Twilight, Scootaloo, and Spike stared at him, jaws having fallen ajar. “What was that?!” Spike asked.
Starlight stood in the middle of the park, dividing her attention between her performer friends. “I don’t know… But it can’t be good!”
“You were there!” Boltsinger exclaimed, sitting on one end of the couch in Starlight’s office, spreading his forelegs. “Out of nowhere, she just goes and insults my voice!” He sat up, situating himself to sit properly. “There is not much about me, personally, that I’m all that proud of. Panicky, depressed all the time, prone to crashing into stuff. But my voice? That’s something I take pride in! And that’s what she attacked! What did you expect me to do?!”
“Have you ever been compared to somepony in such an awful way?” Trixie conjectured, sitting on an end of the couch in Starlight’s office. “‘Gross and pathetic’ Trixie… That’s what they’re calling me! I have to prove myself, and the only way to do it is by showing that I really am better than him!”
“I understand how you feel, but that’s not why I asked the two of you here.” Starlight stated. She sat at her desk, looking on at both of them.with a stern, yet caring face. “Is it really necessary for you two to compete?”
“Yes.” They simultaneously confirmed. They let out a gasp, turning to each other and glowering at one another.
“Are you sure?” The guidance counselor led, magically directing her guests’ gaze back at her. “Look at how angry you are already. What would this do to your friendship?”
Boltsinger pointed to Trixie. “She started it!”
At the same time, Trixie pointed to Boltsinger. “It’s his fault!”
“How is this my fault?” Boltsinger asked. “You’re the one with the fragile pride and an ego the size of Canterlot!”
“If ponies weren’t so enamored with you, then they wouldn’t be saying such horrible things!” Trixie argued.
“I can’t help how ponies feel about my performances!” He spat back, crossing his forelegs. “All I ever do is give it my best! Maybe you should give that a shot!”
Trixie’s face turned to a look of immense shock as an offended noise escaped her mouth. As she took a breath to speak, she and Boltsinger found themselves held in place entirely. “ENOUGH!” Starlight yelled, stomping her hooves on her desk. She jumped over to the couch, sitting between the two of them. “If you’re that set on competing, then we’re going to do it right, and have clear rules that both of you have to abide by, okay?” She let the pair’s heads free, eliciting a gasp for air from both of them.
“Eeyup.” The stallion confirmed.
“Okay…” The blue mare relented.
Starlight took a deep breath, releasing them from her hold. “Good. Now, I’ve already got an idea for how this can work, and I’ve asked Cheese to officiate, and DJ PON-3 if she could help both of you to prepare and perform.”
“PON-3 is helping out? Why?” Boltsinger wondered, relaxing against the arm of the couch. “I can do all the sound work we need.”
“I don’t think I can trust you to help Trixie with her performance if you’re this mad.” Starlight deadpanned. “Besides, it’ll make it easier for you, too.” Boltsinger huffed, averting his gaze and reluctantly nodding. “Now, as for the rules, you’ll each have one song to perform, and the crowd is going to decide the winner. So give it your best. Is that fair?”
“No arguments here.” Spoke the stallion.
“I guess if he’s fine with it, so am I.” Added the mare.
“Good. Now, you each have a lot of work ahead of you.” Starlight continued, floating her friends into the air. “Bolt, you get to practice first since you’re the one that was challenged.” Trixie sent a glare down at her best friend, but found a hoof in her face. “I don’t wanna hear any arguments, Trix. You’ll get plenty of time, trust me.” She closed her eyes, bringing two separate places into her thoughts. “Now, get going!” She released her spell, sending her friends away in a flash of blue light. As the room emptied, Starlight breathed a deep sigh, walking over to the door and poking her head out. “Next!”
Boltsinger sat in the living room of a house that bore a perfectly split-down-the-middle theme. On one half, the decor was very traditional, with mostly brownish green walls and everything one might expect of a sitting room, while also holding a music stand and a stool. On the side Boltsinger occupied, the decor was decidedly more wild and futuristic. The walls were a bright shade of purple, and a set of turntables formed the bulk of the furniture. Behind said turntables sat a white-coated Unicorn mare who wore a pair of headphones with rose-tinted sunglasses. Her mane and tail were alternating shades of blue hanging dramatically to one side of her head, and her Cutie Mark featured two connected quarter notes.
“Trixie’s gotta have a song in mind already…” Boltsinger started, looking through a book of songs. “She’s got so many magic tricks, I’d bet my feathers she’s got songs to match!” He closed the book, setting it aside. “Bah… None of these work! Nothing in my usual repertoire is really a good choice, either… Especially since some of them need a way bigger group than anything I can manage without three solid days of prep time.” He took a look at the Unicorn. “PON-3, you got anything I can use?”
DJ PON-3 brought up a pondering hoof, bobbing her head to the beat from her headphones. She floated a record over to Boltsinger, receiving a shake of the head in return. She continued her search, bringing another record to get the same result. She tried one more time, getting another shake. Breathing an exasperated sigh, she put the record away, shrugging her shoulders at the stallion.
“Yeah, I know. But song choice is everything in a contest like this!” He stressed. “I’ve gotta have something that inspires confidence. Something that commands the stage! Something… Something that can get the crowd involved! That’s bound to get them cheering!”
The silent musician thought for a moment longer, letting her face light up as an idea came to her head. She floated over another record, letting it fall to her hooves. She spun the record in place on her hoof, slapping it down onto the turntable and hitting the play button. From the speakers situated on either side of the setup, a simple, yet distinct rhythm began, bringing a devious grin to the stallion’s muzzle.
“Oh, this is perfect!” He declared, slowly going into a fit of maniacal laughter.
Starlight walked into the castle with a sad shake of her head. “What the heck am I doing, letting those two compete like this?” She turned up the stairs, making for the library. She slowly opened the door, trudging past a table occupied by Twilight over to plop into the comfiest chair she could find and floating a book over to her. “This is just crazy…”
Twilight looked up from her book, sending a glance over to her former pupil. “Everything okay?”
“Not even a little.” She replied, opening her book.
The Princess rose from her seat, moving to the chair next to Starlight’s. “What’s wrong?”
The Unicorn gave off a soft groan, sitting up and putting her book aside. “It’s this silly contest between Trixie and Boltsinger. They’re so focused on beating each other that they seem to have forgotten that they’re friends!”
“Ah. That.” Twilight answered, looking back at the entrance. “I’ve never seen Bolt so fired up before, honestly. Not without good reason, at least. It reminds me of when Rainbow Dash gets too competitive.”
“Exactly!” Starlight exclaimed, extending her foreleg. “You know how she gets when she wants to win that badly! And both of them are just like that right now! It’s like they can’t even think of how much they love performing together…”
“Have you reminded them of that?”
“I tried, but they wouldn’t let me.”
“Well, when you can, I suggest you do just that.”
Starlight sighed, floating her book back over. “I’ll try. But I doubt I’m going to see Trixie until tomorrow night.” She paused for a moment, looking up from her book. “Actually, have you seen Bolt since he got home?”
It was Twilight’s turn to sigh as she floated her own book back to its place in front of her. “He’s been holed up in the music room ever since he got back.”
“I guess that means I won’t be seeing him ‘till the contest, either, huh?” She guessed.
The stage was set. Ponies and other creatures gathered around the stage, and in the spotlight stood a lanky party pony holding a microphone. Behind him sat DJ PON-3 on her mobile turntable setup, and next to her sat a wacky-looking gauge device. Cheese Sandwich tapped the mic a few times. “Hello? Hello?! Is this thing on?” As the sound of his voice erupted from the speakers on either side of the stage, he found himself slightly blown forward. “Okay! Let’s do this!” He looked out to the crowd, raising his free foreleg. “Hey, Ponyville! And welcome to the contest to decide Ponyville’s premiere performer! I’m your host, Cheeeeeeeeese Sandwich!!!" Members of the crowd immediately started stomping and cheering, bringing a big smile to Cheese’s face. “Thank you! Thank you! But we all know I’m not the pony you’re here to see! So let’s introduce our competitors for tonight!” He stepped stage right, motioning his hoof stage left. “Our first competitor is somepony you all know extremely well! Formerly a rival to our Princess Twilight, she’s the best stage magician we know! It’s… The Great and Powerful TRIXIE!!!”
Trixie leaped forth from backstage in her full magician’s attire, stepping front and center and taking a bow with a flourish of her hat while members of the audience cheered. “Thank you, Ponyville! Thank you so much!”
Cheese waited until the cheers died down, then moved stage left, mirroring his previous motions as Trixie took a position nearby. “And then we have our next competitor, whose name literally says it all when it comes to his talents… You know him, you love him! It’s Prince BOLTSINGER!!!”
The cheers began prematurely as Boltsinger fluttered into view, landing center stage with a stomp, a wave, and a smile. “Thanks, everyone! I appreciate the support!”
“I appreciate the support!” Trixie repeated in a distorted mock.
Boltsinger sent his opponent a smug smirk, moving stage right as Cheese returned to the center. “Now, I’m sure you’ve all noticed my patented Cheer-O-Matic by now!” The party stallion stated, pointing back to the gauge device. Several of the onlookers commented to one another about the nature of device as the brunette stallion stepped over to it. “I bet you’re wondering how it works! So let’s have a demonstration!” He flipped a switch on the side, causing the device to light up and whir to life. “All right, everyone! Make some noise for our two contestants!” The crowd happily did as instructed, stomping and hollering and clapping as loud as they could. The louder they got, the higher the needle went on the gauge. Cheese stepped forward, holding up his hoof. “All right, all right, that’s enough!” He pointed back to his Cheer-O-Matic, making note of the needle. “As you can see, the louder the applause, the higher that needle goes! So whoever gets the needle to go the highest will be our winner, and Ponyville’s premiere performer!!!” The applause only increased in volume at the proclamation, prompting the performers to all take a bow. Cheese walked over to the Cheer-O-Matic, turning the device off for the moment, then returned to the center to put the microphone atop a stand. “Okay, everyone, it’s time to decide who will go first! Trixie, Bolt, I’d like for each of you to come here!” The competitors followed the instructions, coming up to either side of the wacky pony. Stepping away from the mic, Cheese looked between the blue and orange ponies. “Okay, so how are we gonna do this?”
Boltsinger motioned graciously to the mare before her. “Oh, by all means, ladies first.”
Trixie let out a haughty chortle, raising her hoof beside her muzzle. “All right, then. But don’t go crying to your wife when you’re blown away by my amazing song!”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that.” He assured her, walking to the back right of the stage.
Cheese Sandwich approached the microphone again with a large grin. “Okay, everyone! We have our first performer! Give it up for the Great and Powerful Trixie!!!” He stepped to the side of his machine as Trixie floated the microphone over toher, bobbing her head to a beat and turning to DJ PON-3. The white Unicorn brought up a pair of records, placing them on the turntable and starting up a beat as Trixie brought the mic close.
“~Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
And I captivate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat (Oh, whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
See me dominate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat (Oh, whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh)
You think you've got what it takes to go toe to toe?
I've got more moves than you'll ever know
I own the stage, I'm all the rage
You're from the past, I'm from the Space Age~”
The beat suddenly began to intensify as she moved to the front of the stage, small fireworks going off around the arch.
“~Come on, you're just making noise
Listen how my music destroys
Anything you throw at me
I'm gonna throw back, just wait and see-ee~”
The beat returned to normal, but Trixie remained at the edge, moving back and forth about the stage to the rhythm.
In the crowd, Twilight and Spike looked at each other quizzically. “Have we… heard this before?” Spike inquired.
“I… think so!” Twilight confirmed, looking curiously at the performing pony. “What a strange coincidence…”
“~Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
And I captivate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat (Oh, whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
See me dominate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat (Oh, whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh)
I'm here to take you down a peg
Oh, whoa, oh-whoa-oh-whoa-oh-oh
By the time I'm done, you're gonna beg
Oh, whoa, oh-whoa-oh-whoa-oh-oh
To be in my band, application rejected! (Rejected!)
Don’t look so sad and so dejected! (And so dejected!)~”
Trixie stood back at the front center position, raising her hoof and moving to the beat, prompting the crowd to do the same as the intensity rose once more.
“~Don't mean to brag, don't mean to boast
But I'm a six-course meal and you're just burnt toast
Think I'm gonna ever give up?
No, never, ever, ever, ever!
Come on, you're just making noise
Listen how my music destroys
Anything you throw at me
I'm gonna throw back, just wait and see-ee~”
Once more, the beat calmed down, but Trixie rose to her hind legs with an intense expression.
“~Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
And I captivate
'Cause I'm powerful and grea-ea-eat (Oh, whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Ya better believe
I got tricks up my sleeve
See me DOMINATE!
‘Cause I’m POWERFUL AND GREA-EA-EAT!!!~”
At the final exclamation, Trixie wrapped herself in her magic, floating herself into the air as several large fireworks went off around the stage. The beat came to an end, and Trixie returned herself to the floor, putting the microphone back on the stand. The moment she touched down, Cheese turned his device back on just in time for the crowd to roar. Trixie stepped aside, letting the host return to his position behind the mic. “WOW! That sure was great, wasn’t it? Let’s see what the Cheer-O-Matic says!” He pointed at the aforementioned machine, which had its needle raised nearly to the top. “Ooh-wee! That score is a doozy! Bolt’s gonna have to bring his A-game to beat something like that!” He waved stage right as the previous performer moved to the back left position. “So let’s see what he can do! Give a round of applause for BOLTSINGER!!!”
“Oh, I think I’ve got just the thing!” Boltsinger stepped up to the microphone as Cheese returned to his spot next to the device, putting a marker where Trixie’s score had landed. As soon as the switch was flipped, the blue-maned stallion turned to the audience. He twitched his tail, prompting a nod from DJ PON-3. From there, he stomped his back right leg, followed by his back left leg, then clapped his forehooves together in a definite rhythm. He repeated the rhythm a total of eight times as his face came close to the device reminiscent of his Cutie Mark. “Okay, everyone, I want you to join in! Give me the beat, here!” The crowd went into the ‘STOMP-STOMP-CLAP’ beat quickly, several of the audience members smiling and bobbing their heads to the beat as they went. “All right! Let’s do this!” He waited for two measures, beckoning Trixie to take a more frontal position on the stage as he picked up the microphone, stand and all, and held it close with his wings with a fierce smile.
“~Missy, you’re a dolt!
I’m the BIG BOLT!
Take me on the stage
Gonna lose all your fans today!
Ya got mud on your face, you big disgrace!
I’m gonna go and put you back into your place!
Singin’
WE__ WILL
WE__ WILL
ROCK YOU!~”
There was a measure of the solitary beat as Boltsinger began to step towards Trixie.
“~WE__ WILL
WE__ WILL
ROCK YOU!~”
“We?” Trixie repeated, cocking an eyebrow at the performing Pegasus. “Who is ‘we’?”
“The Royal ‘We’!” He shouted in rhythm. “I’m a Prince, remember?!
~Lady you’re a young mare,
Done mare!
Shouting in the street!
Gonna take on the ro-yal-ty!
Ya got smug on your face, you big disgrace!
Flashin’ that wagon all over the place!
Singin’
WE__ WILL
WE__ WILL
ROCK YOU!~”
The stomping intensified as Boltsinger once again added his hooves to the beat. It, along with the lyrics, began pounding at Trixie’s eardrums, causing her to take a step back. “SING IT!” He called out to the audience.
“~WE__ WILL
WE__ WILL
ROCK YOU!
Trixie, I dunno
Where’s the ‘big show’
All I see’s a stage
And a little bit of spark today!
Ya got soot on your face, ya big disgrace!
You better get your ego a little more SPACE!
Singin’
WE__ WILL
WE__ WILL
ROCK YOU!
WE__ WILL
WE__ WILL
ROCK YOU!~”
DJ PON-3 began working her turntables, creating a strange noise that started to fade in while Boltsinger stepped to the edge of the stage to face the crowd. “Everypony!
~WE__ WILL
WE__ WILL
ROCK YOU!
WE__ WILL
WE__ WILL
ROCK YOU!~”
Suddenly, the sound of a fiddle played so strangely that it sounded like a guitar erupted from the speakers in a lick that lasted several measures, with the last note prompting Boltsinger to slam the mic stand back in its original spot, bringing the beat to its end as Cheese turned the device back on. The cheers were instantaneous and thunderous, sending the needle rising rapidly while the party pony returned to the mic. “WOW! That, was, epic!” He motioned back to his patented device. “Let’s see what the Cheer-O-Matic has to say!” They all looked over to the machine, where the needle had risen to match the place marked by Trixie’s performance. Cheese sent a wide-eyed look to the performers, followed by the crowd. “Amazing! It seems that Bolt has gotten exactly the same score as Trixie! We have two winners!” The cheering continued, causing the needle to shake. Trixie looked over at the device, feeling a wellspring of emotion boiling up inside her as her breathing grew heavier. “Isn’t that just great, everyone?”
“NO IT’S NOT!” Trixie screamed, sending a beam of magic at the whirring machine that turned it into a teacup, falling on the floor and shattering. The crowd’s applause immediately ceased, all eyes falling upon the fuming mare.
Cheese’s smile was washed away, his rump falling to the floor. “My… My Cheer-O-Matic…”
“I will not be second, and I will NOT accept a draw!” She threw off her hat and cape, stomping over to Boltsinger with a hoof angrily pointed at him. “‘Cause…
~Anything you can do, I can do better!” Boltsinger let out a short burst of laughter. “~I can do anything better than you!~”
Boltsinger looked down at her with amusement. “No you can’t!”
“Yes I can!”
“No you can’t!”
“Yes I can!”
“No, you can’t!!”
“Yes I can, ~yes I caaaaaaaaaaan!!!”
Boltsinger huffed, flapping his wings to create his signature breeze. “Well, ~Anything you can be, I can be greater! Sooner or later, I’m greater than you!~”
Trixie gave off a squeal of a laugh, turning away from him confidently. “No you’re not.”
“Yes I am!” He retorted.
“No you’re not!”
“Yes I am!”
Trixie gritted her teeth, turning back to him with a stomp. “NO YOU’RE NOT!!!”
Boltsinger put his smug face back on, facing the crowd. “Yes I am, ~yes I aaaaaaaaaaam!!!~” He pointed his hoof up to a cloud. “~I can make the weather every kind of better!~”
Trixie lit her horn, pulling a feather duster over from backstage. “~I can be your cleaner,~” She fluttered it in Boltsinger’s face. “~No one does it meaner!~”
Boltsinger knocked the duster away. “~I can live on bread and cheese!~”
Trixie recoiled. “And only on that?”
“Eeyup!”
“So can a rat!” She remarked, getting a gawk from the stallion.
Boltsinger turned back to the audience with a cocky smirk. “~Any note you can sing, I can sing higher!~”
“~I can sing any note higher than you!~” Trixie spat.
Boltsinger chortled, taking a deep breath. “~No you caaan’t!~” He sang at a pitch higher than before.
Trixie took a preparatory breath, putting her foreleg over her heart. “~Yes I caaaaaan!~” She sang at a pitch higher than his.
Boltsinger stepped towards the audience, taking a deeper breath. “~Noooo you caaaaaaan’t!~” Once again, he was a full octave higher than his opponent.
Trixie let out a huff, bringing her foreleg out. “~Yeees I caaaaaaaaaaan!~”
Boltsinger symmetrically matched her gesture, sending her a fierce look. “~No you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan’t!~” He had approached the top of his range, and it was showing.
Trixie looked at the audience, quirking a single eyebrow. She rose entirely to her hind legs, taking a gigantic breath and spreading both forelegs out. “~YEEEES I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!~” The note rang out over the crowd at a pitch that made a number of ears in the audience twitch.
Boltsinger sighed, walking stage right. “Wow! Just how do you get up there?”
“I’m a mare!” Trixie deadpanned.
Boltsinger looked back at her with feigned confusion. “Yeah? Coulda fooled me!”
Trixie, along with Twilight and Starlight in the crowd, shot the stallion a look of sheer disbelief at the comment. Starlight dug her hoof into the dirt, grinding her teeth. “This is getting out of hoof…”
Twilight placed a hoof on her shoulder. “It hasn’t gotten that bad, though.”
“Not yet.” Starlight noted.
Boltsinger grinned over at Trixie, trotting back over. “~Anything you can say, I can say softer!~”
Trixie rolled her eyes. “~I can say anything softer than you!~”
Boltsinger leaned his head forward, slowing the pace of his wings. “No you can’t…” He softly said.
Trixie matched her opponent’s height while the wings moved faster. “Yes I can…” She whispered, her sound carrying over the crowd.
Boltsinger’s smirk widened as his wings slowed again. “No you can’t…” He replied, his voice softer still.
The wings sped up again as Trixie took a shallow breath. “Yes I can…” Again, her whisper was loud enough to cover the park.
Boltsinger’s wings nearly stopped as he went into his lullaby mode. “No you can’t…” He gleefully sped his wings up once more as Trixie closed her eyes.
Trixie leaned next to the stallion’s ear, taking one more breath. “Yes I can…” Then her volume increased exponentially. “~YES I CAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!~”
Boltsinger reared back, covering his ears. “What was that for?!”
Trixie pointed at the Pegasus’ wings, which were now doing their normal breeze. “You cheated!”
“You’d have done the same!” He argued.
“Well, ~I can light a fire, send it ever higher!~” She boasted.
“~I can take your pyre and hang it from a wire!~” He retorted.
She narrowed her eyes, reaching her hoof forward. “~I can open any safe!~”
“Without getting caught?” He asked.
“Of course!” She answered.
Boltsinger scoffed. “That’s what I thought! Crook!”
Twilight narrowed her eyes, taking a step forward. “Okay, that’s starting to push it!”
Spike patted the Alicorn’s back reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Twilight. He’ll see what he’s doing soon enough.”
Trixie gasped at the accusation, quickly shifting her expression to one of pride as she puffed out her chest. “~Any note you can hold, I can hold longer!~”
Boltsinger nearly tripped as a laugh forced its way out of his throat. “~I can hold any note longer than you!~”
“No you can’t!” She argued.
Another, more condescending laugh came out of the stallion as he waved a dismissive hoof. “Yes I can!”
The Unicorn’s teeth began gritting again as she stomped at the Pegasus. “No you can’t!”
Boltsinger’s eyes melodramatically rolled. He took a massive breath, going into his performance hover and putting his forelegs in front of his chest. “~Yes IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…~” The note went on for a number of measures, nearly blindsiding the audience, and Trixie, with the sheer volume of it.
“~Yes you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!~” She confirmed, not even bothering to let him finish. As he wheezed out the last of the word with his landing, she gave him a snide expression. “I knew you were a blowhard!”
“Says the the pony who’s always full of ‘hot air’!” He joked. “But you know, ~Anything you can say, I can say FASTER! I can say anything faster than you!~”
“No you can’t.” She said at a faster rate than normal.
“Yes-I-can.” He replied, ever faster.
“Noyoucan’t!” She hastily retorted.
“YesIcan!” He buzzed back.
The two of them got angrily closer, not even forming complete words in their attempts to out-speed the other until it finally came out in one giant “~CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!~”
Trixie spun around. “~I can make a teacup!~”
Boltsinger huffed. “~I can fill it right up!~”
The mare motioned to her midsection. “~I can wear a girdle!~”
Boltsinger laughed. “That sounds like a hurdle! But ~I can do most a-ny-thing!~”
Trixie spun back, pointing an accusatory hoof at him. “Can you bake a pie?”
Boltsinger shook his head. “Nnope!”
Trixie shrugged, giving the audience a weak smile. “Neither can I…”
Boltsinger looked out over the crowd. “~Anything you can sing, I can sing sweeter!~”
Trixie laughed, stepping up beside him. “~I can sing anything sweeter than you!~” She sang, adding a growl to her voice.
Boltsinger cleared his throat, closing his eyes and putting his hoof over his heart. “~Nooooooo you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaan’t!~” The sound he made was reminiscent of a naturally deep variation of Fluttershy’s voice.
Trixie mimicked her opponent’s gesture. “~Yes I caa-aaa-aaaaaaaaaan!~”
The exchange continued, each pony’s version growing more sugary as they went. Twilight and Starlight looked at each other with determined faces. “You had enough?” Starlight asked.
“Yup. Let’s put a stop to this.” The Princess replied. The two magical mares lit their horns, sending a bead of magic into their necks.
Boltsinger had ceased his attempts at sweetness, beginning to stomp towards Trixie. “~No you can’t, can’t, CAN’T!!!~”
Trixie, likewise done with the schtick, began to stomp her own way to the stallion. “~Yes I can, can, CAN!!!~”
“THAT’S ENOUGH!!!” Came the cries of Twilight and Starlight as the performing ponies glared at one another from an inch apart. Blue and magenta magic surrounded Trixie and Boltsinger respectively, forcing them apart as the owners of the magic stepped onstage.
“I just can’t take any more of this!” Twilight declared, approaching her spouse. “What are you thinking, saying such horrible things about your friend!”
“Same to you, Trix! What in Equestria is going through your head right now?!” Starlight asked. “I know your pride took a hit, but that’s no reason to go back to being cruel!”
Trixie and Boltsinger’s eyes dramatically widened at the Unicorns’ intense glares. They lingered for a few moments as they were released from the magic, ears and heads getting low. “Have you ever had the one thing you liked about yourself called into question before? Because that's what happened here. I said it before and I'll say it again. My voice is my pride, and she practically spat on it. I guess I just… lost it from there…” He raised his head, looking past his wife at his fellow stage pony. “I’m sorry, Trixie. I know you were in a bad place… I should’ve let it slide.”
Trixie shook her head, letting her rump hit the floor. “No, I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up in the first place.” She stated, rubbing one foreleg with the other. “It doesn’t matter which of us is the better performer, anyway.”
“Exactly.” Starlight confirmed, stepping aside with Twilight to create a path between the lamenting ponies. “You two are friends. You shouldn’t let something as silly as some random ponies’ opinions set you off like that.”
“Besides, if that machine was any proof, you two are both amazing!” Twilight added.
Boltsinger nodded at the statement, stepping to center stage. “Yeah, that song of yours was pretty awesome!”
Trixie perked up, trotting over to him and brushing her chest with her hoof. “It was, wasn’t it? But not half as incredible as the one you did! You really got the audience involved with that one!”
“But then there was the other thing!” He exclaimed, beaming like a foal on Hearth’s Warming. “It just came out of nowhere! How does that even happen?!”
“I guess that, even when we were mad, we were just so synchronized that it came naturally!” She reasoned. She held a hoof out, smiling up at him. “Performer pals?”
Boltsinger bumped his hoof against hers, returning the smile. “Always!” He moved to the edge of the stage with the mares following behind. “Besides, I was kinda hoping to ask if you’d like to become a regular babysitter for Nova.”
Meanwhile, Cheese Sandwich sat over the shattered remains of a purple teacup, a look of shock in his eyes. “My… My Cheer-O-Matic…” DJ PON-3 sat beside him, gently rubbing his back with her hoof.
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You had to go for a 1940s musical song at the end, at least you tweaked it to fit. Not bad a chapter
9193255
It's not the first musical theater reference I've made. I'm a fan of the genre, but if something doesn't fit, I'll always tweak it. Expect more parody work out of me in the future when it comes to songs.
Today we fondly remember the cheer-o-matic. Lover of enthusiasm, and recorder of cheering, it will be forever missed. I remember when it was built; it seemed like it was only yesterday that cheese sandwich put it together. I remember its first recording; 'twas of a grasshopper. And now... *sob*... it's gone...
My hope now is that somewhere, someplace, the cheer-o-matic is dancing in greener pastures with the other deceased inventions of its kind. It's probably looking down on us right now, and smiling.
(This has been a stirring Motodrop eulogy. For all your stirting eulogy needs, give us a call from 9-5, monday-friday, excluding stat holidays. *spoon not included for stirring*)