Discord's Labyrinth
Scootaloo walked with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle down the main road of Ponyville, just leaving another day of school. They made their way to Ponyville proper, making a beeline for Sugar Cube Corner, where Fluttershy was laughing with a strange, brown, snake-like creature with the head and beard of a goat, the wings of a Pegasus and a bat, a cloven-hoofed deer leg with a green reptilian leg to offset it. He had a red tail reminiscent of a dragon, with arms that consisted of a lion’s foreleg on the right and an eagle talon on the left. His eyes were lopsided in size, with red pupils and a bright yellow where there would otherwise be white, and he had a single fang that protruded out over his jaw, and a pair of mismatched horns coming out of his head from either side of his short, black mane. They each placed a few bits on the counter, moving to a table. “So, what do you gals have planned fer the weekend?” Apple Bloom asked.
“You mean besides your crusade to get Applejack a boyfriend?” Scootaloo replied.
“Or our job as Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Sweetie Belle added.
Apple Bloom recoiled from the flat responses, rubbing her neck sheepishly. “Uh, yeah. Besides that.”
“Well, I’m probably gonna spend it at the castle.” The Pegasus started. “Twilight says she wants to talk with me about something, and Bolt has been on the tired side lately. I figure I’ll give him a little help with the baby.”
“Aww, you’re going to spend the weekend with Nova?” The Unicorn commented, resting her head on her hooves. “I wish I could help… But my dad wants me to go home and spend some ‘quality time’ with him and Mom…”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo both rolled their eyes, looking sternly at their white-coated companion. “Wow, spending time with your loving parents? That sounds so awful, doesn’t it, Apple Bloom?”
Apple Bloom nodded, throwing her head back. “I know! Good thing ponies like us don’t have anything like that, huh, Scootaloo?”
“Yeah, Sweetie Belle has it so bad.” Scootaloo answered, her tone dripping with sarcasm.
Sweetie Belle looked back and forth between her fellow Crusaders, letting her head hang a little as the message came through. “Okay, I get it. You’re right. I shouldn’t take my family for granted.”
“So, both o’ y’all are doin’ stuff this weekend?” Apple Bloom reiterated. “No time to help me ‘n Applejack?”
“I should be able to help out as long as there isn’t some big disaster at the castle.” Scootaloo affirmed. “I mean, it’s just Nova. Not like something crazy is gonna happen!”
Behind the fillies, the creature with Fluttershy took a look over his shoulder at them, chuckling to himself. Fluttershy tilted her head, leaning towards him. “What’s so funny, Discord?”
“What?” He replied, looking back at her again. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just thinking of a joke I heard, once…” He put his arm around the mare, walking with her out the door and sending another mischievous glance at the Crusaders.
Scootaloo waved farewell to her friends as they went their separate ways. She set her sights on the castle, moving to a brisk trot. The weekend was looking to be fairly standard, but the new normal she was experiencing was far more desirable than anything she’d dreamed of. “I wonder what it is Twilight wants to talk to me about…”
“Oh, probably something boring, like having a ‘girls bonding night’ or some other touchy feely nonsense!” A snide tone commented from above, casting a shadow over her.
“Maybe, maybe not.” the filly figured. She trotted on in silence for a moment, stopping cold when the realization of who was above her struck. She looked up to see the odd face of the odd creature that was at Sugar Cube Corner. “Discord? What are you doing, following me around?”
Discord noodled his way back to his normal, towering stance, walking next to the Crusader. “Why, I heard you were going to be looking after the littlest pony in town, and I thought I’d offer my claw in assistance!” he explained, popping off his eagle talon to walk ahead of them. “I’m very good with foals, you know!”
Scootaloo cocked an eyebrow at the Draconequus. “Aren’t you the whole reason Nova blacked out the whole sky just after he was born?”
“I admit, he and I didn’t exactly have the best start to our relationship…” he relented, kicking a rock in front of him into bubbles. “But now, he and I are thick as thieves! I’m at the very top of their list of potential babysitters!”
The level of Scootaloo’s disbelief was strong enough to show rather blatantly on her face as she turned her eyes forward. “You sure about that? ‘Cause I’ve seen that list before, and you weren’t on it.”
“Not on it?” Discord repeated, reeling his head back. “How could I not be on their sitters list?!”
Scootaloo casually shrugged. “I don’t know. You’d have to ask them.”
“Yes, I think we’ll do just that!” The chaos creature declared, raising his lion paw and snapping his claws. In a literal flash, the two of them were in the castle foyer. He looked around, scanning each of the hallways for any signs of equine life. “Now, where are those ponies?”
“Twilight’s probably in the library. I’d bet anything Nova’s with her right now.” Scootaloo reasoned, starting towards the room in question. “Bolt is probably--” A disturbingly loud snore permeated the castle halls. “... sleeping.”
Discord cringed at the noise, pulling off his horns and putting them in his ears. “That is sleeping?!”
“You get used to it.” Scootaloo said, performing yet another shrug. “Anyone would be tired taking care of that baby by themselves all week!”
“Well, I think he’s had enough of a nap!” He raised his clawless arm, the claw for which ran into the room and popped itself back onto his wrist, clutching the air in front of him and making a pulling motion. The snoring abruptly stopped as a screaming Boltsinger was magically yanked into the foyer.
Landing with a skid and a tumble, Boltsinger ended up at Discord’s feet. He climbed to a sitting position as Scootaloo rushed to his side. He looked up at the Draconequus with dark circles under his eyes, letting out a high-pitched yawn. “Oh, hey Discord…” Another yawn escaped the sleepy stallion as he stood up. “What brings you over?”
“I have something I’d like you to clear up.” He spat, raising a single finger and lifting the stallion to look him in the eye. “That little pony down there tells me that you and Twilight haven’t put me on your list of potential babysitters for your little foal. Can you tell her how ridiculous that is?”
Boltsinger sleepily groaned, throwing his head back. “It’s not ridiculous…” He informed him, flapping his wings and turning towards the hallway. “You’re not on the sitter list.”
Discord’s jaw fell off of his face, letting his arms fall limp as Boltsinger regained control of his movement. “I’m… I’m not?”
“Nnope.” He confirmed. “You’re kinda scary-looking.”
“And you do a lot of stuff with magic.” Scootaloo added. “Nova doesn’t like being handled with magic too much.”
“Plus you don’t opt into ‘caring for others’ all that much.” Boltsinger continued.
“And I already told you what happened when you two first met.” The filly finished.
The yellow and red orbs that were Discord’s eyes went wide at the deadpanning explanation. He jogged ahead, catching up with them as they plodded onward. “But I’m Discord! I can do anything!” He pulled his head off of his neck, dribbling it on the floor and performing ball tricks as he jumped in front of them. He landed with a firing of confetti from thin air, tossing his head back up to land upside down on his body again. “Literally! See?!” Boltsinger shrugged, walking past and turning to the kitchen. “I can turn myself into a pony, learn how to handle things without magic, whatever you need! Just give me a chance!”
Boltsinger sighed, turning on the stove. “Discord, you know I like you a lot. But that doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not you’re fit to care for a baby.” He retrieved a cup and placed it on the table. “Especially a baby who gets so scared so quickly, like Nova.”
Discord huffed, turning around and glaring over his shoulder at the Pegasus. “Well how would you know? You’ve never given me a chance!”
“Hey, if you want to learn how to take care of him, that’s fine.” He retorted, adding a bag to his cup. “I’ll teach you myself and tell Twilight all about it.”
“You don’t want to trust me right now, though, do you?” Discord stressed.
Boltsinger raised a poignant hoof, taking a sharp inhale, and paused for a moment. Discord turned to him with a hopeful look on his face, sinking once again as the orange stallion’s face flattened again. “No.”
“Fine…” The disharmonious one huffed. “You be that way, then…” He produced a needle from within his mane, poking himself in the side with it and beginning to deflate like a balloon. As he was nearing a state of crumpling onto the floor, another white flash appeared, leaving no trace of the defeated Draconequus in its wake.
Boltsinger took a sip of his freshly-poured tea, rubbing some of the sleep from his eyes. “So… What brought this on, anyway?” Scootaloo pulled an apple from the fridge, opening her mouth to speak as the stallion’s wings suddenly went rigid, loosing sparks of electricity and throwing him completely out of his tired state. “Hold that thought!” He rushed out to the foyer, where Twilight was galloping in with her wings and horn crackling with magenta sparks of their own. “You, too?”
“Uh-huh. It just hit out of nowhere!” The Princess stated. She looked over to Scootaloo, who had followed Boltsinger into the room. “Do you think you can take care of Nova until we get back?”
Scootaloo puffed out her chest, proudly placing her hoof against it. “Don’t you worry! I’ve got this!”
“That’s my girl!” Boltsinger cheered, giving her mane a quick tussle before his wings began to flap. “I promise we’ll do a bunch of things when we get--” A thunderclap sounded, the lightning coming from the two ponies singing the floor beneath them as they took off like the force of nature they imitated.
Following the sound of a foal’s crying, Scootaloo cracked open the door to the library, her eyes closed in a confident expression as she made her entrance. “Don’t worry, Nova, your big sister is here for you!”
“Oh, his ‘big sister’, huh?” Came an unnervingly familiar chide at the center of the room. Scootaloo opened her eyes, finding Nova floating in the air in front of a sassily-smiling Discord. The Draconequus was waving a finger back and forth, rocking the young pony in the air and keeping his limbs scrunched up to his body. “Do the colt’s parents know you call yourself that?”
Scootaloo recoiled to the point where she reared back, flapping her wings to keep her balance. “Discord!!!” She charged forward, leaping up and latching her forelegs onto the baby and glowering at the smug creature. “What are you doing?!”
Discord leaned back against the nearest table, continuing his rocking. “I’m just doing what I can to calm the little sugar down. Isn’t that obvious?”
Nova’s crying intensified as Scootaloo’s weight threw their swaying off balance. His horn lit up with a spark of lightning, a small, black bauble of magic appearing at the end of the protrusion that caused Discord’s finger to fall limp. The ponies fell to the floor, Scootaloo landing on her rump as Nova wrapped his forelegs around her, crying into her shoulder. She hugged him tight, stroking his mane with her hoof and rocking him gently. “It’s okay, Nova. You’re safe. Discord just doesn’t know you very well.” Her glare returned in full force as the baby slowly began to calm down. “You see? This is why you’re not on the babysitter list!”
“Yes, and you’re such a perfect ‘big sister’! No wonder they trust you, so!” He retorted, twirling his paw around and looking condescendingly back at her. “Be honest, you aren’t any better at tolerating him than I am at caring for him! Why do you think you’re so quick to calm him down when he starts wailing like that?” He pointed an accusing claw at her. “Admit it! You can’t stand him!”
Scootaloo twisted to move the foal further from the scariest creature in the room, aggressively pointing her wing back at him. “You don’t know anything about me! I’m here for him, just like everyone else is there for me!”
Discord began stroking his beard with his lion paw, slowly walking towards the door. “Yes… everyone is there for you. Your family is always there for you, aren’t they?” He raised his head to look at her from an upside-down perspective. “Tell you what, if you ever want to leave him with me for a while, just say so! I’ll ‘be there’ for you just like everyone else!” He opened the door wide, taking a bow. “Oh, and do tell your loving parents I said ‘hello’!” He spun around, swinging the door closed as he vanished once more in his typical white flash.
Scootaloo searched through the fridge in the kitchen, where Nova waited in his high chair. She pulled out a jar of the foal’s usual mashed carrots, hovering over and placing them in front of him. “You ready for dinner, little guy?” Nova let out a giggle, stomping his forehooves on his table. Scootaloo smiled back, opening the silverware drawer. As she pulled the closest spoon out, she heard the sound of shattering glass. “What the…?” She turned around to see Nova sniffling up a sob amidst a splattering of mashed carrots and broken glass. “Nova! What was that for?” Nova babbled curiously, putting his hooves in the squishy orange mass. Scootaloo squeaked, flying back over and pulling the hooves out. “No! Don’t do that! There’s glass all over!” She lifted the baby out of his chair, retrieving a towel and wiping his hooves clean. She took a glance at the foal’s face, which was contorted with hunger as she let out a sigh. “Right… You still need something to eat.” She scanned the kitchen, landing on a particular cabinet. She looked back at Nova with a smirk, flying up to reach it and opening it up to reveal the cookie jar. “Now, don’t tell your mommy and daddy I gave you one of these…” Nova perked up, lighting his horn and grabbing the jar from its resting place. Scootaloo removed the lid, reaching inside. “Wait a minute… Is there nothing in here?” She felt around some more, finding little more than crumbs. She breathed a sigh and shook her head to the little pony. “Sorry, little guy, no treat today…” And with that, the fussing began.
The day continued in a sort of formula. Scootaloo would walk through the halls with Nova on her back, and after five minutes, he would be crying. She checked his diaper, but found no stink. She brought him one of his toys, but the moment she looked away, the crying began anew. She would look back, and the toy would either be somehow broken or gone.
“How does one baby go through so many toys?” She wondered. She picked up the pieces of the latest victim and brought forth his favorite toy, a doll his mother had named Smarty Pants. “Now, don’t you tear her up! Your mommy would be sad if that happened!” Nova squeed with excitement, hugging the doll tightly.
The hours went by again, with the crying continuing ad nauseum. The first hour or so, she had no trouble tolerating it. Going on five, though, was starting to grate on her. Finally, it was time for bed. She carefully opened the door to the nursery, carefully stepped inside with the baby held up on her back by her wings, and carefully eased him into his cradle. She pulled his blanket over him, thankful that he wasn’t screaming once again, and planted a kiss on his forehead. Slowly and carefully, she backed away, headed for the door. She breathed a small sigh, turning around to make her exi--
And the crying began again. Out of the filly came a loud and annoyed groan that nearly matched the colt’s in volume. She turned around to face him, taking quick, angry breaths. “Why in Equestria have you been so fussy today?! How is it that everything we do together has gone so horribly wrong?!” She turned around again, glaring back over her shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish Discord had taken you off of my hooves!” She stomped out the door, kicking it closed behind her.
And then the crying stopped.
An eerie silence befell the castle, sending a chill down Scootaloo’s spine. Scarier still was the chuckle that soon penetrated the air, coming from everywhere at once. It was a voice she recognized, but somehow it still sent her reeling. “Uh… Discord?” She started, gingerly raising her hoof.
The chuckle ceased momentarily. “Yes, Scootaloo? What is it?”
“You’re not…” A lump formed in her throat that she proceeded to swallow. “...actually taking Nova with you, are you?”
“Isn’t that what you asked of me?” He teased.
“I… guess so.” She reluctantly confirmed, turning back to the door. “He’s not in any danger, is he? Is he scared?”
“Oh, what do you care? You just said how much you wished I had taken him!” He retorted, the voice growing louder. “I’ve just taken him to my place!”
“That’s not fair! You know I didn’t mean it!” Scootaloo spat, stomping her hoof.
“It doesn’t matter, you still said it! I’m just living up to my end of the bargain!” The door opened in front of the filly, revealing a landscape with a large stone maze leading to a strange-looking castle against an orange sky. “You can come and get him if you’d like!”
The young Pegasus held a wide-eyed stare at the landscape before her. She and her fellow Crusaders had heard from Fluttershy and Boltsinger about Discord’s realm, but this defied everything she had heard. She had expected a black void, floating islands, various impossible phenomena… But this was a spooky labyrinth with a big, scary castle at the end. The tingle made its way down Scootaloo’s spine once more as her teeth chattered. “C-c-can I at least bring some f-f-friends?”
“Oh, yes, a friend.” Discord replied. “Well, I suppose it wouldn’t be very sporting of me to make you go through it all alone, would it?” A ripple formed in the image in front of her from which emerged the Smarty Pants doll, pen and notebook at all, which landed with a squeak at her hooves. “Here, you can take this with you. Enjoy your little romp! We’ll be waiting for you at the end!”
Scootaloo looked down at the doll, bending over and picking her up with a shrug. “Well, Smarty Pants, at least you’re here…” She placed the plush on her back, scooping up its accessories as she crossed the threshold of dimensions. “We should hurry, though! Nova needs our he--" Not but a moment since she had entered the realm did she hit a wall. She stumbled backwards, seeing miniature Rainbow Dashes circling her head as she regained her balance.
From her back, Scootaloo heard the sounds of scribbling. “Hmm… It seems that, rather than taking you to the point indicated by the image we were shown, we were transported to a place decidedly closer to the entrance to the labyrinth in question. How such a tactic can be used for delay has thus far been thought to be impossible, but through your daze, it seems clear that it was meant to knock you off guard…” The scribbles were briefly interrupted by a snort of a laugh. “... which, evidently, seems to have succeeded!” Scootaloo yelped, jumping backward and standing on her hind legs. There was a soft crumpling sound behind her, prompting the filly to turn around. There, sitting up on her own and rubbing her rear, was Smarty Pants. “Owww! Now why did you have to go and do that?! I’m only here to help…”
“How are you talking?!” Shouted the Crusader, backing up against the wall and holding her hooves in front of her. “Is this one of Discord’s tricks?”
“If you want to be specific, yes. I’m able to move, think, and talk entirely due to his magic.” The doll confirmed. Scootaloo flared her wings, ready to come down upon her as she raised her arm. “But before you stomp me into oblivion, allow me to explain myself!”
Scootaloo’s wings made a flap, pulling her back from the impending impact. “Okay… You’ve got one minute!”
“Thank you.” Smarty Pants picked up her pen and notepad, placing it next to her ear as she stood tall and cleared her throat. “Discord's magic may have been what animated me, but my thoughts and actions are my own. Likely due to such prolonged exposure to my dearest Twilight’s magic when she was a filly, and the emotions felt upon my return to her. Right now, the safety of young Nova is of paramount concern, and is, thusly, my first priority. Therefore, I am obligated to help you on your quest, that we might expedite it! Does that make sense?”
Scootaloo’s daze had returned. Her eyes were wobbling back and forth as she tried to make sense of the way Smarty Pants had worded her reasoning. She raised her hooves to her face, giving herself a slap on each side of her face. “Okay, so you’re here to help?”
“Affirmative!”
“All right, hop on.” She directed, turning around to put her tail next to the plush. Smarty Pants did as bid, climbing up the tail and plopping her rump down atop the pony’s haunches. “Okay… Now all that’s left is the big… s-s-s-spooky maze…”
Discord lounged in a large stone chamber with old-fashioned furnishings, wearing a flowing white tunic under a black vest, a lacy ascot coming out over the collar. His mane had all but disappeared, with his horns instead poking out of an impossibly poofy blonde mat of hair that draped down behind his head. He played with a clear crystal ball in his talon, swaying it back and forth with little more than a care. He heard the faint sound of a babbling baby, snapping his attention to the foal across the room. He snapped his claws, making a winged teapot appear in the middle of the room that fluttered curiously next to the baby. “You know, little pony, you remind me of something…”
A small Discord rose from some of the pillows littered throughout the room. “Remind you of what?”
“Oh, I don’t know… some babe.” The original replied, dropping a grape lazily into his mouth.
“What babe?” Another tiny Discord asked.
“The babe with the power.” The original stated, sitting up.
“What power?” A third miniscule Draconequus inquired.
“Some power called… voodoo.” Came the large one’s response.
“Who do?” The first of the small creatures wondered.
The main Discord growled, glaring at the smaller version of himself. “YOU DO!”
“Do what?!” The miniatures simultaneously queried.
Discord stood to his full height, bringing up his fists. “REMIND ME OF THE BABE!” The smaller Discords shrieked, diving under their respective pillows. After a moment, the remaining Draconequus looked over at Nova. “Wait a minute… What was I talking about?” Nova scooted back in his spot, hiccuping a little as his face once again scrunched up. “Oh…” And the crying began anew. “... poo…”
The giant stone door to the labyrinth opened wide, letting Scootaloo and her plush-filled partner in. Smarty Pants climbed up onto the filly’s head, looking around at the walls. “So, I have an inquiry to make of you, Scootaloo.” Smarty Pants began. She pointed up to the open roof of the labyrinth. “Why don’t we just fly straight to the castle?”
“That’d be too easy. Discord wouldn’t let me try that for a second!” She reasoned, putting her hoof on the unreasonably damp wall. “Whenever he does stuff like this, he goes all-out to make you play by his rules. Or so I’ve heard from Rainbow Dash.”
“I see… So we’re unwittingly tasked with navigating the labyrinthian structure to the point of completion.” She patted the pony’s mane a few times, pointing forward. “Well, the path lies ahead! Onward to adventure!”
Scootaloo continued down the straight path ahead of her, finding a shroud of fog falling from the walls and obscuring her vision. She began lightly flapping her wings, whipping away much of the dense cloud. “Really? Fog? Discord should know better!” she chuckled to herself, moving to a canter. “If that’s the only thing he’s got planned, this is gonna be easy!”
She pushed on for what felt like hours, despite having only been a minute or two. “I do believe this is the longest straight hallway I’ve ever seen.” Smarty Pants commented, looking between the walls. “Are there no turns anywhere? Or does this go on forever?”
Scootaloo dug her hooves into the dirt, seeing the point the plush had raised. “I’m… not sure…” She moved closer to the walls, where she spotted the occasional vine creeping down over the side. “It doesn’t look like there’s any other way to go…” She investigated the vine more closely,putting her hoof on the wall beside it. “But if reading Daring Do has taught me anything…” She put her other forehoof on the other side of the vine, where a ripple appeared in the wall. “It’s that things aren’t always what they seem! I knew it!” She excitedly teared back, cantering through the false wall and into a far more winding hall.
“Good! Good! Now this is a maze I can make sense of!” Smarty Pants stated. She pulled forth her pen and pad, furiously scribbling some semblance of a map to follow. “Choose whatever direction you desire, young Crusader! I shall chart our course via the tried and true method of trial and error!”
Scootaloo looked nervously back at the doll, pointing down the different paths. “Are you sure about this? It looks like a big maze… It could take us all day if we try everything.”
“Do you have any idea how much by dearest Twilight and I ventured through the maze in the castle gardens when she was a filly?” She asked, bonking the pony on the head as hard as her stuffed arms would let her. “I’ve mapped mazes before, I can do it again!”
Scootaloo's eyebrow rose inquisitively. “... You weren’t like this back then. How do you remember something that far back?” Smarty Pants squinted the buttons that were her eyes, gesturing to the very world around them. “Oh yeah, magic.”
“Now, then, shall we continue?”
“Smarty Pants…” Scootaloo started, moving slowly and panting. “We’ve been at this for three hours…”
“Yes. And what is your point?” She asked.
“Do you know where to go yet?” The filly inquired with an exhausted groan.
“Of course, dear filly!” The plush pointed forward at a large archway.that was buried in thick fog.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes, beginning her flapping again as she passed through. The fog dissipated in an instant, the area around them seeming to spin as they were met with two doorways. Over each was a giant playing card featuring Discord prominently on the front, with the left one showing the King of Diamonds and the right one showing the Queen of Spades. “So, which door do we take?”
“Oh, I suggest you open him up!” A high-pitched, almost feminine-sounding Discord voice suggested. Scootaloo jumped back, looking frantically between the two cards. The Queen of Spades smiled back at her, waving its lion paw.
The King of Diamonds gruffly coughed into its talon, commanding the duo’s attention. “What? Did you honestly expect us to just be doors? Where’s the fun in that?”
“I… uh… What’s going on, here?” Scootaloo wondered, stepping closer.
“It’s simple, darling. You just pick one of us and whoever you choose will open up!” The Queen explained. “One of us leads to a nice castle on the hill, and the other leads to a place of putrescence!”
“Bah! You can’t trust that one!” The King retorted, pointing an accusing claw at his counterpart. “All she ever does is lie! Not like the honest paragon that I am!”
The Queen of Spades gasped in disbelief.“My word! You dare call moi a liar?! I’ve never told a lie in my life! Unlike you, you loose-lipped lethargic lackadaisic lunatic!” the two Dis-cards began arguing incessantly, trading insults like they were cupcakes. Scootaloo’s neck began to tire as she looked at whoever was speaking. She backed up slowly, trying to get away from the crazy cards, but found her rump hitting a wall where the opening should have been. As the filly yelped, the argument stopped. “Oh, I’m sorry, little filly. You can’t turn back, now! The only way onward is through one of us!”
Smarty Pants turned a page in her notebook, holding up her pen once more.“So, what you’re getting at is that one of you always lies, while the other tells the truth?”
“Yes, that’s what we mean!” The gruff-sounding card confirmed. “Just ask us anything! She’ll lie right to your face, but I will give you an infallible fact!”
Smarty Pants made a small note, looking at the two of them with a hint of scrutiny. “Hmmmmm… Very well, then. I have a question for the Queen of Spades, there.”
“Yes, yes, ask me anything! I’ll tell you only facts!” The Queen boasted, rubbing her chest with her eagle talon. She was immediately met with a scoff from her counterpart.
“Does your Kingly counterpart here lead in the correct direction?” The posh plush pondered.
The Dis-cards recoiled at the simple question, looking at each other, then back at the pony plush. The King cleared his throat once more. “Is that really what you want to ask? You don’t have any questions to try and figure out who is lying?”
“Yes, I’m quite certain.” Smarty Pants confirmed, stowing her notebook away. “Would you care to answer my question?”
“Yes! Yes, of course!” The Queen answered, clasping her claws together. “Your assumption would be the correct one. Behind me lies a pit of unquestionable stench. However, my lying compatriot has a path that serves as a nice little shortcut towards the center of this maze!”
Scootaloo looked questioningly back at Smarty Pants. “So, what do you think? Should we go for it?”
“Oh, absolutely.” Smarty Pants affirmed. She pointed at the King of Diamonds. “This is most definitely the door we desire!”
“And how can you be so sure of that?” The King spat, crossing his arms. “All you did was ask a single question to a blatant and foul liar of a card!”
Smarty Pants put her hooves on her hips, glaring daggers at the huffing image. “Tell me, my dear suit, are you familiar with the card game known as ‘Hearts’?”
The King of Diamonds thought for a moment, looking from side to side as he reaffirmed his stance. “Never heard of it!”
The doll made her best effort to roll her eyes, resulting in a playful-looking tilt of the head. “I see… To cut to the chase, Hearts is a game in which you want as few points as possible, and in this game, the Queen of Spades appearing in your hand is the worst possible occurence you could expect, as it gives you a whopping thirteen of them!”
Scootaloo tilted her head, pointing at the smiling Queen of Spades before them. “So what does that have to do with this? If it’s the worst card you could get, doesn’t that mean she’ll be the one lying?”
The plush pony gave a firm nod, patting her friend on the head. “Quite so, in the event things were made to make sense. But think for a moment…”
Scootaloo took another look between the doors, pondering Smarty Pants’ suggestion. “If things made sense…” She let out a gasp as her eyes went wide. “But this is Discord we’re dealing with! Things don’t make sense!” She buzzed her wings, galloping towards the King of Diamonds and putting her mouth on the side of the card.
The King reeled from the filly’s jaws making contact, moving as far away from her mouth as possible. “Eeew! Eeew! Please, don’t pull! I’ll open up myself!” He swiped his talon at her, prompting her to let go and step back. The King of Diamonds grumbled to himself, reaching his talon out and grasping the edge of the card. He gave a small tug, causing the card to roll into itself, revealing a shadowy opening.
Scootaloo peered inside, seeing little more than a black mass with some faint flames flickering in the distance. “And you’re sure this is the right way to go?”
“Fear not, Crusader! I’m quite positive this is the way to go!” Smarty Pants declared. She climbed up Scootaloo’s mane, taking a comfortable position atop her head and pointing dramatically forward. “Onward to adventure!”
The doll’s declaration seemed to stifle the shiver that had begun its way down Scootaloo’s spine. She took a ginger step forward, teeth chattering slightly as she went. “Okay, then… Piece of cake…”
“That’s the spirit!” Assured the toy. “From here on out, this will be easy as--” Scootaloo’s hooves landed on a shifting surface, moving easily beneath her. Once all four of her legs were past the threshold, she began sliding, as if down a steep incline with a shrill scream. “-- PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!”
Discord was in a panic for the first time in recent memory. His ears were filled with the sounds of a crying colt, and he had no idea just what the baby wanted. “First you were scared, I get that! That’s why I did this!” He motioned to the room around them, which was filled with happy smiling images, constantly laughing, with little birds flying about. “So nothing is scary anymore! So what’s wrong?!”
As Discord stepped closer, Nova spread his wings, taking off around the room. His eyes still closed, he started headlong towards the wall. An alarm sounded in the Draconequus’ mind as he shot in front of him, positioning himself between the waif and the wall.
Discord let out an ear-splitting scream at the impact. He grabbed onto the baby and pulling his horn out of his stomach as they hit the floor. “Now that wasn’t very nice…” He stated, blowing into his thumb to fill the hole the horn had left. “Why don’t we put this…” He plucked the horn off of the Alicorn’s head, hanging it on the high wall. “... away for now. Don’t want you abusing it… or me…” He held Nova up, giving him a big, snaggle-toothed smile as more crying came out.
Scootaloo and Smarty Pants slid down a steep incline, the momentum forcing the filly into a tumble. She went on for a few more seconds, landing on her face in the dirt below with Smarty Pants landing softly on her tail. “Ugh… Where the heck are we?”
The pony and the plaything scanned their surroundings, finding a strange red swamp around them. It reminded Scootaloo of the fire swamp Apple Bloom had told her about to the south of Ponyville, with spouts of flame popping up every now and then. Smarty Pants returned to her spot on the filly’s head, pulling out her notebook and scribbling. “Looks to be a fire swamp.” She pointed to an opening between the trees with her pen. “That seems to be the direction we need to go.”
“You sure about that?” Scootaloo asked, standing up and stepping forward. “From the looks of it, we’re farther away than we were before!”
“Trust me on this, young Scootaloo. My judgement is sound!” She assured, making a final note with a flourish of her pen. “Just keep moving forward, and we’ll be there in no time!”
“Yes! There in no time!” A mocking Discord voice called from above.
“Where the endlessly crying baby waits for his ‘big sister’!” Another of the same kind relayed from the trees.
“Keeping you from your friends and interests…” Came yet another Discord, this one from beneath.
“Don’t you just want to turn around?” The first of them asked. Leaves fell around them, swallowed up by a ring of fire as a Discord that stood a head shorter than Scootaloo popped out of the flames, tossing its head back and forth.
Scootaloo let out a shriek, beginning to scoot backwards. She stopped short when her tail brushed against what felt like another Discord. Looking all around, she found herself surrounded on all sides by various tiny Draconequus, all of them playing around with their dismembered body parts as if they were toys. One of the few whose body was intact rushed up to face the filly, looking her in the eye. “Why don’t you let us handle the baby tonight? You can go home! Do what you like! Have yourself a good time!”
“Or you could stay with us!” Another suggested, swordfighting another Discord with its eagle talon as a sword. “We can teach you all kinds of fun games!”
“Daring stunts!” Chimed another.
“And have wild adventures!” Rang yet another, swinging by from a rope made of several tails.
The first of the Discords nodded, quirking its eyebrows at Scootaloo. “They have a point! Doesn’t that sound like fun? Much better than a responsibility to a foal that isn’t even your real brother, right?”
Smarty Pants looked worriedly down at the winged Crusader. “You’re not going to actually listen to them, are you?”
The young Pegasus pondered for a few moments, glancing between the various Discords in their recreation. “It sure would be interesting to join them…”
“Come on, Scootaloo! Join up!” Came a drawl from the distance.
“Yeah! It’s fun!” A familiar squeak affirmed.
Scootaloo looked to see where the voices were coming from, spotting two silhouettes she recognized. In front of a wall of fire, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stepped forward with enormous smiles lining their muzzles. “Apple Bloom? Sweetie Belle? What’s going on?”
Apple Bloom stepped forward, offering a hoof. “Discord brought us here so we could all hang out fer as long as we wanted!”
“Yeah! No annoying siblings or parents or responsibilities to hold us back!” Sweetie Belle added. “It’ll be great!”
“Yes… Great!” One of the Discords repeated. It was immediately joined by its companions, repeating the same word to try and tempt her into giving in.
“Come on, Scootaloo, don’t worry so much! It’s just Nova!” The Unicorn stressed, bringing her hoof forward.
Sweetie Belle’s words bounced off the back of Scootaloo’s mind, repeating themselves in such a way that even the pleading Discords couldn’t overpower it. Her eyebrows lowered as she met the other ponies gaze with a fierce scowl. “‘Just Nova’? ‘Just Nova’? You know that he’s way more than ‘just’ Nova! He’s my little brother! And I promised I would take care of him!” She pointed a firm hoof at both of them. “You two, of all ponies, should know what that means!”
Apple Bloom scoffed, giving her a side-eyed glare. “Just how is he yer little brother? He ain’t even related!”
“You’re not my friends…” Scootaloo growled, slapping the offered hooves away. “And I don’t belong here!” She forcefully flared her wings, sending a gust of wind at the ‘ponies’ in front of her. Their falsehood was immediately proven, easily blown out like a flame in a tornado. She spun around, finding a large number of the Discords closing in on her. “BRING IT ON!!!” She shouted. With another flap of the wings, she rocketed towards the nearest of them, slamming her hoof into its jaw and sending its head flying into the distance. She looked behind her, seeing another of them trying to sneak up. She audibly snorted, giving her strongest buck to its face to let it share the fate of the previous one. Her wings buzzed rapidly as more of them began to close in, and she was airborne, swooping down and literally knocking heads around left and right.
Smarty Pants held onto the filly’s mane for dear life, easily blown back by the velocity. “Scootaloo, I greatly appreciate your resolve, but would you be so kind as to slow down!”
Scootaloo did more than slow down. Rather, she stopped entirely, causing her plush friend to nearly fly off of her head. “Sorry about that!” She looked down at her opponents, who seemed to be wandering around without their heads like panicking fowl. “I guess I got carried away…”
“It would seem so.” Smarty Pants affirmed, snickering to herself at the antics beneath them. “Wait a second… You’re flying, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. What about it?”
“Weren’t you afraid to fly here? Something about breaking some rule Discord might have in place?”
Scootaloo bonked herself on the head. “Oh yeah… I wonder why he hasn’t done anything...”
A baby’s laughter echoed through the chamber in which Discord took residence. The Draconequus in question stomped angrily forward, carrying an absurdly large fire hose under his arms. “Do something like that to me, will you? Have a taste of your own medicine!”
Waterfalls burst forth from the castle at the center of the maze as Scootaloo and Smarty Pants rose above the trees. “Well, whatever he’s doing, he’s not stopping us! Let’s fly!” She revved her wings for a moment, prompting the plush to tighten her grip, then shot towards the main castle.
There was a measure of silence between them as the filly flew for a few moments. Sootaloo’s face was more determined than ever, her eyes focused. Smarty Pants felt a question burning at the back of her mind. Being the brain she was, the curiosity easily overwhelmed her, and she cleared her throat. “So, Scootaloo… I have a question for you.”
The focus in the filly’s eyes faltered only slightly, turning her eyes up to try and look at her. “Oh? What’s up?”
“You’ve been referring to yourself as young Nova’s ‘big sister’...” She began, suddenly finding herself mildly tossed about by Scootaloo throwing her head back with a groan.
“What? Are you going to question all that too?” She queried.
“Not at all!” The doll continued, patting her ear. “I’ve noticed that you usually refer to yourself as such when you’re alone with the colt, but I never heard you do so with anypony else present. Is there a reason for such self-consciousness?”
“Oh… that…” One of Scootaloo’s forelegs draped itself over the other as she cast her eyes only slightly downward. “Well, it’s not like we’re really brother and sister… It feels like it, but I don't think anypony else sees it that way…”
“I see…” She once again produced her pen and notebook, scribbling in a note and stowing them away. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you are a stupendous elder sibling.”
Scootaloo let out a small smile as she landed at the castle gate. “Thanks, Smarty Pants. And I think… you have a really good mane!”
Smarty Pants puffed her chest out, running a hoof through the yarn that was her mane. “But of course!” She drew her gaze up the imposing doors before them, swallowing a lump in her non-existent throat. “So… All that’s left is…”
Scootaloo swallowed a lump of her own, putting her hoof to the door. “Yeah…”
Smarty Pants briefly stroked the mane beneath her, breathing a heavy sigh. “You know, Crusader, it’s been a pleasure adventuring with you.”
“Right back at’cha.” She affirmed. She brought her hoof up to the doll, who gave it the best bump she could. “Onward to adventure?”
“Quite so!” Smarty Pants stood tall, pointing ever forward. “Onward to adventure!”
“Right!” Scootaloo cried as she pushed the door open.
Scootaloo galloped into a dripping wet chamber that was filled with strange smiling faces, several flying objects darting around the room. “What the heck happened here?”
Smarty Pants put her hoof to her muzzle, examining the room. “I imagine Discord may have been… editing the room… to alleviate young Nova’s fears.” She spotted a large doorway leading upstairs with puddles all over. “It seems they’ve retreated to a different location, though.”
Scootaloo approached the steps, taking a deep, preparatory breath. “Okay… I can do this…”
Smarty Pants stood up, springboarding off of the filly’s mane and onto the floor below. “I believe I will remain here. As much as I would like to save the dear boy, myself, I’m little more than a plaything to him. It would be best if his beloved big sister came to get him herself.”
Scootaloo looked down at the doll, giving her a wide smile and pulling her in for a hug. “You’re way more than just a plaything, Smarty Pants! You’re a loyal friend, and I don’t think anypony will forget that!”
Smarty Pants returned the hug in kind, squeezing as hard as her stuffed arms would allow. “Thank you, dearest Scootaloo.” She pulled back, motioning towards the stairway. “Now, go confront that Draconequus and save our Nova!”
The winged Crusader spread her wings wide, raising her hoof with determination. “Right!” She reared back, kicking the air in front of her, and galloped on.
“And… tell my dearest Twilight I said… ‘salutations’...” The plush punctuated, sitting on the floor and going limp.
The sheer number and angle of staircases Scootaloo saw threw her for a loop. From all around, she heard a strange mixture of laughter and crying from Nova. She walked to the edge of the platform she was on, looking over curiously.
“Enjoying the view?” Discord asked, appearing from the other side of the pony’s platform. She jumped back with a shrill scream. “I’m happy to see you’ve made it this far!” He flashed away, appearing on the staircase above her with a glass orb in his paw that showed images of her journey so far. “You’ve certainly been through a lot. It’s quite impressive!” The mixture of baby sounds cleared up, revealing a laughing foal who appeared inside a bubble, floating around the room.
Scootaloo’s ears dropped as she flared her wings. “I’ve got you, Nova!” She jumped off of the platform, reaching for the baby. The bubble bounced away from her, floating above Discord as the force of gravity pulled her towards… the ceiling? She landed with a cloud of dust, looking up at the now upside-down Discord smirking back. “What’s going on?!”
Discord chuckled, slithering his way up to the filly’s point of impact and coiling around her. “What? Did you expect things to make sense?” He floated the crystal ball in front of her, showing the earlier trials. “You should know me better than that!”
“Okay, fine.” She replied. She rose to her hooves and sent her harshest glare at the creature surrounding her. “But you still have to give Nova back! He’s my responsibility!”
“Ah, yes, the ‘big sister’ is here to save the brother she wanted me to take off of her hooves!” He teased, flicking her nose with his talon. “Are you sure he even wants to go back with you? He’s laughing right now! Maybe he wants to stay with Uncle Discord?”
Scootaloo took a look over at the floating foal. The bubble he was encased in looked to be filled with animate feathers, all tickling him from all sides and making him laugh himself to tears. Looking harder, she noticed there was something missing that just didn’t seem right. “You took away his horn?! Why would you do that?!”
“Better to not suck away magic with!” He explained, flying over to the bubble and holding it between his claws. “Better to not skewer friends with, too…”
Scootaloo stomped as hard as she could, stepping towards the chaos spirit. “Turn him back to normal and send us back right now, Discord! I mean it!”
“Or you’ll what?” He spat back, teleporting to appear towering over her. “Belittle me? Underestimate me? Treat me like some clown who doesn’t have a serious thought in his entire brain?!” His pupils began glowing as his outfit and strange hairstyle melted away. “I just wanted to take care of the baby for a while! Give you and my so-called friends a break from the monotony! I have been nothing but kind to all of you, and this is how you repay me?” The room began to darken as dark clouds formed over them. “Well, if you don’t want me to be kind, then I can show you just how cruel I can--”
“DISCORD P. SULLIVAN! YOU GET YOUR TAIL BACK HERE THIS VERY INSTANT!” A baritone bellowed from all directions at once. The entire chamber shook at the noise, popping Nova’s bubble and immediately cowing the great creature that stood before the young Pegasus. The baby spread his wings wide, directing himself to fall right onto Scootaloo’s back as he gave her a warm hug.
“Oh… Well, it seems like mommy and daddy are home…” He snapped his claw one more time, blinding everyone with a brilliant flash that faded into the three of them in Nova’s nursery, with Twilight and Boltsinger standing just outside the doorway with the most enraged looks the reality-bending being had ever seen. “Hello, Twilight!” He greeted, gingerly twinkling his claws.
“Don’t you ‘Hello, Twilight’ me, mister!” The Princess yelled, flying over to his face and shoving her hoof into his nose. “I don’t care what your intentions were, you took my baby into your dimension…” Her hoof poked against his face, triggering him to shrink slightly. “You put Scootaloo in danger…” She poked his face again, prompting another shrink. “You sent Boltsinger and I to the middle of nowhere with the lightning…” The face poke occurred once more, turning the Draconequus to appear about a foot tall in height. “And you made… my… son… CRY!!!” Discord shrank to the size of a cockroach, slumping over. “You’ve got a lot to answer for!”
Discord weakly pointed over at Scootaloo, rubbing his neck as he looked at the floor. “Well, Scootaloo said that she wished I’d--”
“I don’t care! Scootaloo also came through and made up for her slip-up!” Twilight interjected. “And I don’t blame her for getting frustrated, after all you seem to have been doing to make Nova get all fussy!” She floated over the broken jar. “Destroying the jar for his food? Nova wouldn’t have done that! He’s too scared of crashing noises!” She floated over a dark purple hair next. “Pulling his tail? Any foal would cry at that!” She then gestured to the room, which was filled with torn up toys. “And ripping up his toys?! What were you thinking?! Were you seriously that angry that you’re not on the babysitter list?”
“Well… Yes…” He admitted, hanging his head low. “I thought you didn’t take me seriously… And it just made me so angry!” He returned to his full height, clenching his claws. “I thought I had to do something to prove that I can do it!”
“I appreciate the sentiment, Discord…” Boltsinger began, taking Nova in his wing. “But all you’ve done today is prove precisely why we didn’t put you on the list.” Discord returned to his slump, placing his hindquarters on the floor. “You’re a great friend, but… as a caregiver… You have no idea what you’re doing. And we can’t trust anypony, or Draconequus for that matter, who doesn’t know what they’re doing, to take care of our son.”
“Yes… You’re right…” He relented, twiddling his thumbs. “Taking care of a baby was far more work than I expected… But it was also an interesting experience. I don’t think I’ve ever faced a challenge so… unique.” His face brightened up as he looked between the parents. “Does the offer to learn how to care for him still stand?”
Twilight looked back at her husband, a look of uncertainty making itself as obvious on her face as icing on a cake. “I don’t know…” She returned her attention to Discord. “It’s going to take a lot to earn back my trust, Discord. Are you sure this is how you want to do it?”
“I’m positively certain.” The Draconequus confirmed with a bright, fanged smile.
Boltsinger stepped beside Twilight, where the parents took another look at each other and nodded. “Okay, but on one condition!” Twilight declared.
“You name it, and I’ll do it!” Discord joyfully stated.
The Alicorn stepped to the side, holding her wing out alongside her spouse’s to obscure Discord’s view of the space between the two ponies. “You have to learn from somepony who knows Nova extremely well. Somepony who can calm him down as quickly as she can fly!” She nodded to Boltsinger, moving her wing in tandem with his to reveal Scootaloo sitting on the floor by the bed, holding the lifeless doll that was Smarty Pants in her foreleg. “You have to learn from his big sister!”
The last two words that Twilight said rang like a bell in Scootaloo’s ears, pulling her attention to the lilac mare. “Wait… What did you just call me?”
Twilight gave the Crusader a warm smile, sitting next to her and pulling her close with her wing. “I called you Nova’s big sister, of course!”
“But… Why?” The filly wondered, staring down at the doll. She heard a familiar babbling in front of her, accompanied by tiny, tiny hoofsteps. Looking up from Smarty Pants, she saw Nova standing happily before her. He floated Smarty Pants onto her head, giggling and jumping into her and giving her his tightest hug.
Boltsinger took a seat on the other side of his favorite filly, adding his own wing to the embrace. “That’s why.”
Looking upon the family before him, Discord felt an immense warmth swell up inside him. He vanished in his usual flash, appearing from behind the ponies and wrapping his arms around the lot of them with a boisterous laugh.
Stats
Page generated in 0.021 seconds
Total duration
1,063 users online
1,660,208 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
LOL I loved the Movie Labyrinth when I was alittle girl. Nice job
Man, that film takes me back.
I really enjoyed it and yet it makes me miss D. Bowie even more than before.
Scootaloo forgot to tell twilight smarty pants' message, also fluttershy is so gonna hear about this
BTW I just found Out That You Did Intend to. So if I say Something Wrong Then Oh Well
I feel a reference That you might of not known. I Think There A MOVIE The Story is they Where On a Quest To Get Young Sister Or is it Daughter. Well I literally Just Needed to look up and see the comment.
