A Nightmare Once More

by Lyle Daydream

Who I Was Before

It. Wasn't. My. Fault. I...I didn't do it...I didn't mean to I...I just wanted us to be a family again...Mother...Mother please look at me...look me in my eyes and tell me you love me...please? I-I'm begging you.

Do you wish to see them again?

I...I do...I don't want them to be mad at me anymore.

Then do the right thing.

When my eyes fluttered open at that moment, I didn't quite know what to expect as my pupils met darkness with satisfying clarity. I attempted to sit up, my entire body felt like it had been thrown to the moon and back, but still, I persisted until eventually, I was level enough to assess my surroundings. I was in a bed in the infirmary it seemed, although it had been heavily modified to accommodate my unique situation. Even with the curtains drawn, I could make out the moonlight of the night, rain falling like a blanket just outside the nearby window. the sigh that left my body could not have been filled with more unease, my thoughts immediately falling toward what I had done before darkness swallowed my consciousness. I couldn't be...reverting could I?

Was I truly becoming that monster again...simply awaiting the moment I would be tethered to the darkness like a ball and chain for the third time? How could this be happening again...I have not embraced the darkness in any ill state of mind, have I? No, never again Luna, you've made that mistake one too many times, against Tia, against Twilight and her friends, and especially with the Tantibus. Whatever this is, it isn't my fault. "If I am ever to figure out what ails me, I must make an effort to check the progress of my plight, whatever it is. I have to be certain, no, 100% sure, this isn't the work of Nightmare Moon."

I made what effort I could to find my hoofs on the ground when deja vu struck me like a raging chimera. My hoofs slipped from under me, sending me to the ground with a hard thud. "Equestria be damned, will my absence of strength never end?! Calm yourself, Luna, slowly now..." I uttered as I took a deep breath and slowly ordered my muscles to stand. With each second, it seemed it would be an eternity before I would even be able to get to my hooves, let alone begin walking. However, my doubts seemed to cease when I found myself finally on my hooves. "Good...baby steps Luna, let us proceed to the bathroom." Step...step...ste-- I physically put all the strength I could into holding myself up as my hoof wobbled underneath me, eventually settling and allowing me to continue. With each step, I felt no progress in my body listening to me as it was naturally supposed to. It was as if it had a mind of it's own and was openly defying me every step toward my destination.

Finally, with more than 3 minutes put into simply reaching a simple bathroom, I slid the door open and stepped inside. Hesitation filled my eyes, afraid of what would be staring back at me when I finally peered into that mirror. Mirror mirror on the wall, what is the truth of it all? Listen to me, sounding like I'm in some kind of fairy tale. Still though, it...terrifies me...to wonder. Would it be Nightmare or some strange variation of her? Are my eyes still unable to stand light, are they still sharp and slim like a dragon's? In some strange fantasy of mine, one devoid of logic and reason, always grounded by a happy ending, the latter would have been better than the former. However, my reality is much different from that of Twilight and her friends, because when I finally opened my eyes to greet those white slits staring back at me, still glowing as if to be lit ablaze, I shed a single tear. What I saw wasn't a flowing mane with stars captured within no, what had greeted me was a regular blue mane devoid of its usual uniqueness and a singular strand of white luminescent hair among the blue.

At least I was confident in my ability to oppose Nightmare Moon's return, this...this I was unsure as to what was even happening. "Perhaps I am overreacting but...I have never once in my life even as Nightmare Moon felt this powerless to understand it, to manage it. My body is stripped of strength, my mane has become...unusual...normal even, and I refuse to accept light into my very being hissing and clawing like a moody kitten..." More tears began to stream down my muzzle, like a river trying to break a dam, my body collapsing to the floor as the weakness finally overtook it. "I'm struggling to understand a-any of this...I'm so scared...M-mother... P-please mother...w-what in Equestria is happening to me?"

Did mother always hat--wait a minute...hmm, I wasn't talking about that right? Like I was saying, my mind felt at ease--no wait a minute, I wasn't in the bathroom, I've just been sitting here, staring, waiting for the door to finally open and for someone to tell me I was going to be ok. Either way, something was most certainly off about this strange phenomenon, and I fear...that Celestia's resea--I mean Twilight, Twilight's Research may yield nothing useful. That's when the knob of the door clicked open. I was quick to shield my eyes before the light reached waiting patiently as the door clicked closed. "Princess Luna, are you finally awake?"

"Twilight dear, what news of my sister's research do you bring?"

I could see the confusion on her face form as she approached the bed with a plate of food. "Actually Princess, I was the one researching your condition, Celestia only asked me to bring you something to eat."

"And what of Tia, will she come to visit."

"She'll only be a few minutes more but yes she will."

"Splendid, simply splendid," I said magically picking up a fork on the plate and beginning to eat. "Um...and what of your research?"

Twilight sighed sadly kicking at the floor in defeat. "I couldn't find a single thing about these types of symptoms. Anything matching it word for word is virtually impossible for you to contract since you're technically immune to common diseases, and even poison joke seemed to fall short."

"That is unfortunate to he--oh, what of--"

"Already checked your personal library." she interrupted. "I hit a dead end there too. As far as we know, the world is completely void of any information concerning the biology and or general life of early alicorns like yourselves and those who came before you. Whatever this strange affliction is seems to be unique to alicorns only, or perhaps just you."

I slowly slid my plate to a nightstand and turned my attention downward in sadness. "So that would imply that I made to go through this myself not even knowing what it is or how it was caused?"

"I'm afraid so." Those words made me sigh with anxiety in my very bones, however, Twilight noticing quickly took hold of my hoof to reassure me. "Do not worry Princess, Me and Princess Celestia will help you through this, I can always get Pinkie to plan a party to make you feel better you know."

"It is quite alright Twilight, I shall handle it as best I can. Until then, I believe I shall find a way to entertain myself until the symptoms die down, or at least until I am able to stand the light."

"If you need something to do, I can help with that, I have a ton of books and board games back at the castle."

"That would be most appreciated Twilight, thank you. Also...could you perhaps bring me a notebook?"

"A notebook?"

"Um yes. I wish to record my thoughts...for future reference about this illness."

"Sure Princess, actually I have one right here," she said simply pulling a notebook out of nowhere.

"Do you always keep one of these on you?" I humorously asked.

"You never know when something needs recording, so of course, I have to be prepared."

I felt a chuckle escape me as I took the book with my magic. "You are such a nerd Twilight."

"Hey, that's not true." She uttered with a pout. "Anyway, I'll be back in a little bit if I can dig out the goods one quickly." Twilight gave a gentle smile my way before exiting the room, the sound of her teleporting making me sigh in relief and fall back into the bed once more.

It isn't that I despised her presence or I just wanted the solitude, it's just...why do I feel so guilty? What is it that makes me feel like this? Am I guilty and if so, of what? I haven't withheld information, I haven't been faking these things...so what is it that makes me so bound to guilt? If I am not guilty, then why do I feel it so? I am not sure, what haven't I told her? No, I am right about this, I haven't withheld anything. Then why do I feel so guilty?

My attention was drawn to the notebook, my glowing white eyes focusing intently on the blank cover. "It's a good thing I asked for this, I would think it smart to record my thoughts, perhaps it will shed some light on my...condition." With a few moments of searching, I was finally able to procure a feather and some ink, turning to the first page and lowering the quill to write. However--should I write about being an alicorn or...maybe about the ways Alicorn's age--no no wait, my condition that's right, I need to write my thoughts, that's right.

Princess Nigh--Princess Luna
Day 1

My name is Princess Luna, the princess of the shad-- Night. Recently I have begun to experience strange symptoms in daily life.

1. Extreme loss of physical strength, began exactly 2 nights ago, in which I found myself extremely fatigued and without control of my own limbs. I simply believe it to be because of said fatigue, perhaps not taking enough breaks when in the dream realm. I, however, may also owe this to a mistake in which I fell asleep in the realm of sleep, which is strictly forbidden.
2. Strange sensitivity to all light, even small ones like stars. It started at approximately...I believe I've been out for only a few hours judging by the daylight still trying to pour into my room. I began to react casually to the light, only shielding my eyes when necessary. Since then it has escalated to being rather aggressive towards any irritation of the light, even going as far as to begin physically hissing at even the slightest glint.

I feel odd...I felt this feeling for quite some time now...It isn't guilt now that I question it...it's fear? Yes fear...no not just fear...guilt as well...or was it? Am I mistaking that for happiness? Maybe Irony...I've been feeling nothing lately, nothing at all. No fear, no guilt, no happ-- I feel odd...I've felt this way for quite some time. It isn't happiness now that I really question it. It's...hmm...sadness? Joy? It feels like a warm feeling inside but at the same time, It breathes something cold into my body. I will continue this when I understand it more.

Sincerely, Princess Luna

---

"Is it serious?" The mother asked.

"As far as I know, no mam." Dr. Redheart replied. "However, it seems has left some rather odd symptoms, a strange sensitivity to light and near-constant fatigue. Such symptoms have confined her to her room and bed respectively."

"And Celestia?"

"She has not awoken yet from her slumber, she has no idea."

"Thank the gods." the mother said with a sigh of relief before her expression once again turned sour. "I hate to ask this as I'm I already know the answer, but what of my idiot husband?"

Dr. Redhear sighed at that question. "He has been informed."

"And?" The mother asked as Redheart turned her attention away from her gaze.

"He...simply said he would be along within an hour or two, after his meeting with the nobles is done."

"Selfish son of--" the mother almost let slip out as she stamped the ground with her hoof hard enough to rattle the equipment sitting on a counter. "His flank is grass when I get ahold of it. Dr. Redheart, if you don't mind, please continue your research on this condition, the king and I need to have a word."

"Oh my, I hope you won't hurt him too bad mam."

"I make no promises." Within seconds of leaving the infirmary, the mother found herself storming through the hallways of the grand castle, stopping as her eyes met the giant doors ahead of her. She let out a grunt of frustration as laughing ensued from the other side, opening the doors and slowly making her way in. As expected, there was the father, sitting atop his throne like some type of god with a wide smile upon his face and surrounded by equally like-minded fools. "What. Do you think. You're doing?" The mother sternly asked.

Like an alarm, her voice echoed over the sound of their laughter, causing each one of those stuck-up snobs to immediately freeze like blocks of ice, as opposed to the father who simply turned his gaze to her with disappointment. "I'm sorry?"

The mother huffed at such a nonchalant answer. "If I have to tell you what you're doing wrong this time, I swear to god, I will drop this entire castle on you."

The father's eyes widened in embarrassment before he shooed away his companions. As the last left the throne room and the door creaked shut, the father stood to his feet in anger. "That was most inappropriate dear, do you know how that affects our image to the--"

"I don't give a pony's flank about your stupid reputation."

"Then what, pray to tell, is the meaning of this intrusion into a very important meeting."

Suddenly the father felt his entire body yanked down from his throne, slamming into the ground directly in front of his wife, a smile strangely enough painted on her face. "Oh honey, you're such a handsome man."

"Um...then--"He attempted to utter before his mouth was yanked shut by magic.

"I didn't say you could talk. Like I was saying you're so handsome...and so incredibly stupid at the same time. I'm almost convinced you don't care about your family at all and instead wanna spend all of your time kissing the hoofs of those stuck-up snobs you call friends." The father attempted to squeeze out something until her magic once again reaffirmed it's grip on his mouth. "I said no talking. Now here's the deal, you are going to go into your daughter's room, and actually try to comfort her, got that? Nod if you got that?" the father nodded vigorously. "Good, and when you're done, we're going to have a serious talk about you've been neglecting your family recently kay?"

As her magic released it's grip, he gently massaged his muzzle, walking toward the door. However, he stopped and nervously laughed turning back to her. "Um...which daughter is it, may I--"

His sentence was interrupted by his own throne chair hurtling through the door, sliding down the hallway, and scaring the guards outside half to death. "Who in the hell do you think it is?"

"C-Cel--" A loud growl like a wild animal immediately sent a shiver up his spine. "I m-mean Luna?"

"See I knew you could remember, now hurry along," she uttered happily.

The father found himself down the hallway within a few minutes, slowly sighing as the door to Luna's room came into view with two guards standing in front. For a second, he hesitated to ask them to enter but soon coughed to get their attention. "M-my king?" they responded in unison.

"A-at ease. I've come to see my daughter." He managed to choke out.

The two guards stared in confusion for what seemed like an eternity, even going as far as to whisper among themselves. However, they could not deny such an order and proceeded to open the door. To the guard's advisement, he entered quickly shutting the door behind him as the pitch-black enveloped him. "Who has entered?"

"It is me Dr. Redheart."

"M-my King? You came to see your daughter much earlier than I expected, I'm shocked. W-well not shocked like you don't care or anything but--um...I've been watching over here so far and--"

"Ms. Redheart. May I have some time alone to assess my daughter's condition?"

"...R-right away sir." She nervously uttered. "Please refrain from moving her or emitting bright lights."

"Thank you Ms. Redheart."

As she exited the room, the father slowly made his way to her bed, his eyes running over his seemingly lifeless body and watching as, even in sleep, she struggled to produce the strength to even flip herself over. For once in his selfish life, one could see a hint of regret form on his face. Still, he found himself to be rather nervous about it all, placing his shaky hoof upon his daughter's body and shaking her a bit. She wiggled a bit slowly letting her eyes flutter open much to the father's dismay. "M-Ms. Redheart...Is it time to eat already?" she said wiping her eyes and yawning.

"Actually--"

Her eyes immediately went wide as if her father's voice was an unexpected explosion. "F-father?" It was stunning at first, a true fact of the unknown as the father stared into those glowing white slits, entranced, confused, completely stirred from his initial thought of the situation. L-Luna...what happened to you dear "Y-you came to see me? Like really came to me?"

"I apologize, I was in a very important meeting when I heard about your...condition, It was incredibly difficult to find time to leave, but when I saw the chance, I came as fast as I could."

"R-really? But Ms. Redheart said you wouldn't be able to get out of it no matter wha--" Within seconds her eyes squinted to test her father's words. "Why are you here father?" She uttered with a complete change in tone.

"I promise I came to see you dear, I was worried about my daughter after al--"

"I see..." she uttered slowly stepping from her bed and onto the floor. The father quickly gasped as she easily walked to a nearby curtain, apparently without the fatigue or weakness he had been informed of. "And what, pray tell, made you so inclined to come see me, Father. Did mother order you to, or were plans of ignoring me and my sister so perforated that you had no choice?"

"L-Luna?" he said with confusion in his words. Has she always talked like this? Even as a noble, kids do not usually contain this level of vocabulary. "Have you always talked like this?"

Luna laughed like some kind of harpy. "Oh father, you are quite the jokester, I knew my mother married you for a reason."

"W-what?"

"I guess you wouldn't know would you father, seeing as how for the last century, you've been completely missing in action. It's my deduction as a lead scientist of having a family, that you don't care about us." With that, Luna closed her eyes and proceeded to open the blinds to view the full moon outside. "Luna!" The father quickly exclaimed as he proceeded to quickly scoop her up with his magic. However, something about this felt off. When he took note of the situation, there Luna was, staring up at the moon as if her prior affliction had no meaning, and even more, her horn was surrounded by a strange vortex of various white strands of energy. His magic seemed not to even reach her, and what's more, his body had become numb, unable to move. "Do you see Father, I am fine, there is no need to worry."

"L-Luna I cannot move. What is the meaning of this, has your magic grown that powerful already?"

"Already? Ha! I've been working on this for over 20 years father, it was a slow and gradual process. But ah, that's right, you wouldn't know would you father, with you being so "occupied" lately. You've barely been able to attend even one of my magical training sessions. But you know what it's ok, I know just how busy you are King."

The father could only attempt to shy away in fear as a single strand of that white energy seemed to be invisibly tied around his horn, gleaming like a string in the moonlight. "L-listen Luna, I've changed I assure you, I have been rather busy these last 100 years, I know. You must understand that for the sake of the nation, to assure the future that you will grow up in, one must take to the duties of the kingdom."

"Is that so? And what of 3 weeks ago, when you were asked to train me in the ways of dream walking? I distinctly remember you saying you refused to because I needed to learn on my own."

"Learning from experience is the best way to learn my daughter, that's how my parents trained me."

"And you know what's funny, you are absolutely right."

"I-I am?"

"Indeed." the father felt his control return to him as the white energy released his horn. "As per your advice, I have been training profusely in the ways of entering the realm of sleep, and I've gotten pretty good at it."

"W-well that's great, I'm so proud--"

"Be proud or don't be, it matters not to me. I, however, am not so proud of you Father."

"W-what do--"

"I have seen many things fathers, nightmares, peaceful dreams, even silly ones. But one thing that surprised me, was a particular curious dream, 9 over the course of the last 3 weeks, that involved you specifically. Now I wasn't sure whether or not that was you, so I made sure to dig into your whereabouts each time I saw you." The father felt himself internally explode from these words, a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead. "I'm sure Mother would love to know that you have been sneaking out to the dream realm every other night and courting various other mares in their dreams."

"L-Luna, this isn't like you, what happened to my sweet little girl?"

"You sweet little girl doesn't exist father. Instead, here stands in front of you a stranger that you've refused to know since my birth, and now this stranger has all the evidence she needs to see you burn."

"I am your father Luna and I will not tolerate this. Now come back to bed or--"

Suddenly his body was slammed into the hard and cold floor and his magic and body numbed again as he fearfully looked up to Luna's glowing pupils. "Or what stranger, you're gonna beat me as a parent would? Ground me as a parent would? Maybe even scold me as a parent would? Are you seeing anything in common with these answers? You had a chance to redeem yourself, perhaps even in my sister's eyes, you could redeem yourself. But not me, never me, I shall hate you until the end of time and beyond."

"W-what do you want me to do then? I'm trying to make up for my mistakes now, please just let me be a father for once in my life--" He stopped as a feeling began to pierce his head, a feeling of regret, a feeling of sorrow, a feeling of pain, as the tip of his horn rolled in front of him. For a moment, it didn't register, it did not compute until the pain made itself clear. As soon as he screamed, magic clamped his muzzle shut only allowing for a muffled shriek of terror.

"There there father, it's alright it's alright, Doctor Luna is here. Oh my, it looks as though your horn has been snapped in half, how unfortunate," she uttered releasing the hold on his muzzle.

"P-ple--please." he muffled through a stream of tears. "Just let me g-go. I'll leave, I'll go, I'll step down as king and never bother this family ever again."

"Is that a promise?" She asked with a smile upon her face.

"I-I promise...I p-promise."

Luna processed that thought for a moment, before picking up his horn with magic and somehow, someway, reattaching it, no effort required. The father was in shock watching as magic emanated from it once more. "You have a week to get your affairs in order and leave this castle, you've been a terrible father long enough."

As soon as the father felt his control return to him once more, he bolted like a lightning bolt out of Luna's room, blowing past the guards as they stared at him in confusion. "Princess Luna, are you alright?" both guards called as they slowly entered the room and closed the door.

Standing at closed curtains was Luna, her white eyes staring back at them shining like a predator's in the pitch-black room. "I am perfectly fine Mr. Guard, but me and Daddy did not quite see eye to eye."

---

I woke up with a gasp, my eyes darting around the dark infirmary like I was being hunted. Heat stuck to me like honey, I felt melted to the bed, equally as if my blanket atop my frame would melt into me at any moment. "When did I go to sleep?" I slowly dragged my dreary body out of the bed, wanting nothing more than to splash some cold water on my face. I did so with impeccable timing, rushing to the bathroom and immediately turning on the sink to do so. When I lifted my head to stare back into the mirror, my eyes went wide, my breaths became shallow, and my hoofs shook the ground in shock. Another few strands of hair had become white like the moon, and what's even stranger. I made my way out of the bathroom and staring back at me, was the sight of the moon, unagonizing and completely within the realm of view from my eyes. I can see light again. But why. What's going on? Is the disease finally leaving my body? But then why is my hair--

For the first time through this entire ordeal, I...had a feeling. This feeling is indescribable but...it feels like me...like something that I'm responsible for. It wasn't the work of Nightmare, or even my own regrets for letting her come to light in the first place, whatever this is, I can't change it, I can't stop it. It is destined.

"I know what this is now."