The Time for Action
“Twilight!” Spike climbed on the sweat-soaked sheets and shook the sleeping pony. “Twilight! Wake up!”
“Ugh!” The princess wearily opened her eyes. “Huh, who turned up the heat?” She folded a wing and fanned her sweaty muzzle. “I dreamed of Luna, screaming at me to prepare for danger. The world was burning and so was she. It felt way too real...”
“That’s just it, Twi…”
She didn’t let him finish. “Spike, I told you I’d be studying the moon most of the night. Why’d you wake me up this early? And why is it as hot as Tartarus in here?”
“Look outside!” Spike screeched.
Twilight turned to the window and immediately shut her eyes to protect them from the bright light glittering from the Canterlot mountain. “Wow, Celestia outdid herself today. That’s quite a morning we’re having...”
“Twilight, it’s burning...” A tear drifted down Spike's cheek. “Everything’s burning!”
“No, it can’t be!” Her eyes spread wide as she gasped. “Yet... the moon was bright red yesterday. It was a sign. How could I have ignored the potential danger?” Twilight’s horn lit up. A moment later, she vanished and appeared on all four hooves at her working table. “I observed the light show with my instruments merely because I found the phenomena interesting. There were flashes on the moon’s surface. How could I have dismissed their significance?” She looked at the sketch of the moon she had drawn and skimmed through the notes she’d written before retiring to bed at the end of the night. “The reddish glow. The increased illumination. It all makes sense now. The moon wasn’t amiss last night as I’ve assumed. It was reflecting the severe condition of the sun!”
“What’s going on, Twilight?” Spike put a claw on her foreleg. “Are we doomed?”
“Remember the letter Celestia sent us yesterday about the solar flare acting up?”
“You told me to archive it under trivia information.”
“A mistake on my part. I should have taken it more seriously. All I did was gather some basic data from my telescope but postponed its analysis to a later time.” She ported to the pile of papers in the corner. “I think that was an early warning of something dire.” She ran through the numbers. “The infrared spectrum, intensity, amplitude… All stats are on the rise. Oh, why didn’t I take the time to study it further?”
“You said the moon analysis takes precedence.”
“Yeah, mistakes were made… It’s evident there’s more at play here than a simple protuberance. I should have acted, not just observed.” Her eyes shot wide as she gasped. “My friends! I need to save them!”
“There’s nothing left out there to save.” His voice cracked. ”Everything is burning! We won’t even be able to save ourselves.”
“Celestia is the sun’s chaperone. She’ll know what to do. I need to speak with her right away!” When Twilight looked outside, she squinted at Canterlot, flaring in the distance. The cliff city was aflame.
“Twilight, there are fires everywhere. You’ll be scorched the moment you step out into the open.”
“We can’t stay here, either. Our castle is melting away as we speak; there’s not much time left.” Twilight looked up while her forehead wrinkled. “Hmm, where would I go if I were Celestia?” She put a hoof under her chin. “Oh, I know; there’s a shelter in the caves under Canterlot.”
“Do you mean the mines where Chrysalis held Cadence captive on her wedding day?” Spike asked.
“Indeed. They’re our best bet. It’s the place every Canterlotian would head to and where we’re bound to find the Princesses.”
“And where we can’t possibly go in this scorching day...”
“True. We can’t go to Canterlot via conventional means. The train, balloon and even flying are out of the question. Teleportation is the only option we have. I just wish the city wasn’t so far away... Well, it is what it is!” She gazed through the window. “Come closer, Spike. I can take us further if we’re in the same magic field when I cast the space dilatation spell.”
“We’d only stand a chance of teleporting through the inferno if you could bring us to Canterlot in one go, and even you can’t do that. You’ve tried it before, remember?”
“I’ve almost made it once using a single blink when I ported myself. With the two of us, I’ll just have to try extra hard, I guess. Now come here!” She crouched down, lighting up her horn as she glared through the window to the distant city in flames.
“This won’t work and you know it, Twilight.”
“Spike, I’m not leaving you behind and that’s final, so quit caviling.”
“Given how smart you are, you’re acting very foalishly! We both know what your limits are. By teleporting both of us, you’d burn up like a phoenix halfway to Canterlot.”
“Clench tight to my body, so I don’t lose you midway. We’re doing this.” Her magic channels flared up, rushing through the fabric of space and nether toward the endpoint destination. “The nature of the teleportation energy is such that it doesn’t interact with radiation. In other words, the deadly rays outside won’t be able to reach us while the spell is ongoing. This fact will work to our advantage. As long as we’re transitioning through the nether, the sun won’t affect us.”
“Teleporting is not what worries me. Coming out on the other side is when your coat catches fire.”
“Yes, upon the collapse of the entangled field, there will be nothing to shield us from the sun.” Her tail tucked between both hind legs. “It is unfortunate, but with the two of us, I might, indeed, have to make a stop midway. But it’s okay!” She looked at Spike and forced her muzzle into a bitter smile. “When the spell concludes, I’ll relaunch my channels to teleport us again toward Canterlot. By the third blink, at most, we should be within the reach of the shelter. The direct exposure to the beams isn’t something I’m looking forward to, but be what may, I’ll bring you to safety. You have my word, Spike. Don’t be scared of the trip; I’ve got this.”
“Twilight...” Spike started but got interrupted.
“—Don’t fret about the stops in between. During the casting time prior to each blink, you should, at least for a little while, be resistant to the high-energy rays thanks to your thick scales.”
“Which you don’t have...” He sighed.
“This isn’t up for debate, Spike! I’ll take you to the shelter, even if it kills me.”
Spike gasped and shook his head.
“Get over here, you stubborn dragon! We can’t waste any more time. The charged spell is draining my mana reserves. You’re risking both our lives by impeding.”
“I’d never risk your life,” Spike said with a determined voice.
“That’s nice to hear, but right now I’d like to see you put your goodwill into action rather than words alone. We can talk after we pull out of this oven of a castle.”
“I love you, Twilight.”
“I love you, too, Spike. Now brace yourself; here we go!”
“Forgive me, Twi,” Spike whispered from behind her. “I believe in you, but I don’t trust the overly-optimistic plan you’re betting our lives on. I’m sending you to Celestia directly.”
“Whaa...” Twilight turned back, just to see herself be engulfed in magic fire, coming from Spike’s mouth. She felt the flesh from her very bones disintegrate. The corrosion ripped apart her entire body into minuscule shreds. A moment later, the pressure from all around squeezed her tight as if she was being forcibly dressed in a fur-tight bodysuit. Just that it was her own flesh attaching to her bones, with skin enwrapping it all together.
When the reverse cauterizing of Spike’s fire ceased, Twilight found herself midair, exposed to the scorching sunbeams. The bright light enveloped her whole field of view, despite both eyes being shut.
With clenched teeth, she worked through the increasing torturous anguish. It felt as if candent needles pierced through her skin ever deeper. She had intended to withstand the searing power of the sun, but nothing could prepare her for the avalanche of pain signals coming from half of her body. The blistering heat relentlessly ripped through her skin and clawed deeper still.
Just when the panic flooded her mind, she fell within the shadow of the Canterlot cavern walls and onto the sandy path. “Ugh!” The smell of kindling fur filled her nostrils. In hindsight, it felt as if she had fallen through a double layer of lava to safety. She gasped for air, but the steam mixed with the smoke emanating from her burned off feathers, coat, tail and mane didn’t offer much refreshment.
“Princess of Friendship?” An unfamiliar voice came from before her.
She opened her eyes and looked forth. Two shapes trotted toward the mountainside with a litter bestrode between them. On the stretcher lay Princess Celestia.
“Hang in there, Princess Twilight Sparkle,” the front one said. “We’ll come for you in a moment.”
“It’s okay, I can stand on my own. I just need to piece myself together, that’s all.” She clambered on all four and inspected her sweltering body. Nothing was broken from the fall, but she was far from unscathed.
The pony in front banged a hoof on the massive metal door. “Open the shelter and let us in! We have two princesses with us.”
Twilight squinted in the direction of the door to safety. Above it was the big rainbow-colored sign Celestia had put up on the opening day of the shelter: Safe space. With the crystal walls in front of the cavern melting away, the blazing curtain crept ever lower, igniting the wooden letters. Soon, the whole entrance would be exposed to the merciless sun, closing off the entryway to the interior.
The massive door slowly creaked open and the two ponies carrying Celestia rushed inside.
Twilight trotted close behind them. As soon as she entered the shelter, a scroll materialized before her muzzle. She caught it with her magic midair and spread it out.
Don’t worry about me, Twilight. We’ll be together soon enough.
Your best assistant until the end of the world,
Spike
The guard by the door turned toward the newcomers. “Is there anypony else outside?”
The one at the back-end of the stretcher shook his head. “We’re the last. Had Princess Luna not channeled her magic shadow around us, we wouldn’t make it, either.”
“Will the Princess of The Night be joining us?” The pony at the door asked with a lowered voice.
“She said she might visit us in our dreams. Her shadow started to twist and turn as we approached the shelter. It abruptly vanished the moment we reached the safety of the ridge.”
Twilight bowed her head.
The guard leaned on the massive door. “I’m closing us off.”
“Er,” Twilight interjected. “I’m actually expecting a friend.”
The guard paused. “Is your friend outside?” He peeked through the half-ajar door.
“It might take him a while. You see, he’s still in Ponyville but on his way here.” Twilight stuttered.
The door slammed shut. “I’ll stay guard here, Princess. If by a miracle somepony is still alive out there, I’ll hear them knocking. You should go to the main chamber. The refugees there could use some of your optimism. The very fact that you made it might give them some hope.”
Twilight nodded and walked forth. A moment after, she stopped in her tracks and looked back. “The friend I mentioned… He’s a dragon, you know? His scales are quite thick since he already went through the malting phase.”
The guard stood sentry facing the door. He bowed his head and said nothing.
A cold shiver ran through the black-and-lavender alicorn. The trembling sprayed the ashes from her burned-off coat on the ground near the exit. Her dock and ears flopped as she made her way around the corner. “Keep it together, Twilight,” she whispered to herself under her breath.
After shaking her head, she plunged forth to catch up to the ponies carrying Celestia. When she closed the distance, the smoldered face of the Princess of the Sun came into her view. “We’ve already lost so many… I’m desperate for some good news, right about now. Please tell me she’s going to make it.”
The last one turned his head. “Princess Luna told us her sister merely suffered a sunstroke and should soon be awake.” He paused for a second. “What happened out there, Princess Twilight? First the blood-red moon, then this blazing sun. What in Equestria is going on?”
“The sun...” Twilight swallowed before gathering the resolve to continue. “It’s turning into a supernova.”
“What can we do?”
She bowed her head. “Nothing...”
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Comment section minigame for the chapter 1 of the story Supernova Daybreak (anypony is welcome to play this game in the comment section of this story)
THE GAME
Does this story remind you of a song that you know? If yes, post it in the comments in the following format:
- A link or embedded Youtube video of it.
- Percentage of correlation (0% being an unrelated song, 100% being a song written exactly for this story).
- Reason why this song reminded you of this story or the excerpt of the lyrics that resonates with this fic in some way.
Music recommendations for reading this story:
The Birthday Massacre - Down — Correlation: 60% (Lyrics)
I wish that I could fake it but I don't know how — I know we'll never make it but I can't stop now
NFD - When the Sun Dies — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
I just can't forget, — the best things in my life — Why would I let go of someone —who is going to keep me?
Lindemann - Children Of The Sun — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
The sky turns red — A frightful sign — So we run — We're running out of time
Stuck In the Sound - Let's Go — Correlation: 40% (Lyrics)
In the sun I bathe, in everyday light, — You draft me down for a split second tomorrow
Well from the characters' perspective that just equaled Suck + Succ.
So, imagine this was an alternative canon for the very beginning of the FoE series. It's possible.
On that note, this story would inspire me to make a character fixated on finding aliens in the FoE world. To counteract the "vesuvius effect". (Made-up effect as far as I'm aware, but here's what it means:) The vesuvius effect is the universal condition upon which many, many tragedies beyond one's control end up killing, many, many people in a known cosmos. But even after post-nuclear war, these events can't seem to kill ALL of these people.
Your story here, however, would be an example of disproving that effect if this story were to just end at Chapter 1 and go the way I'm sure the audience is thinking it will go. (End of world, bye-bye pones). Presumably because the whole planet would blow up and there would be, quite literally, no survivors. (Also apparently the term vesuvius effect is already a thing but I calling it a different thing deal m8)
Unless of course Luna survives on the moon, in which case, to play the comment section minigame, I'd say this story reminds me of this song:
Stuck In the Sound - Let's Go — [Lyric] Correlation: %10
In the sun I bathe, in everyday light, — You draft me down for a split second tomorrow
[Music Video Correlation to this hypothetical]: %65
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52Gg9CqhbP8'
Ok now for actually commentary:
1.) I enjoyed it, overall.
2.) Spike and Twilight seem to be having WAAAAAAAAY too long a technical conversation as opposed to an emotional one. The emotion still comes out it just seems somewhat, delayed.
3.) I can semi-picture the world burning down because you told me but not because you showed it in the way you could have. That would have been a gold mine for imagery.
4.) Look if you remember me you might note that I don't really like seeing characters suffer just for the hell of it, as Twilight does, but that doesn't mean you don't do a good job of it.
5.)
Was this an Equestria Girls 4 (Legend of Everfree Reference)? Or do I just have that stuck in my head?
6.) Mane
7.) In the beginning portion, Twilight uses the word dismissed twice, when you probably could have said ignored.
8.) Twilight and Spike's characterization seems about 87% accurate, and I'm afraid I can't exactly tell what might be missing other than, say, more emotion to shock unless you play the, "I couldn't feel it hit me until a week later" card. (This is supposed to be a longer story right?)
9.) I need to work on shortening my comments or I'll never reach my goal of commenting on all stories I've read.
10.) Knowing you, In case the thought didn't already cross your mind, you can always take this same idea (maybe you have before I'm not sure at this EXACT moment, and turn into the, "The world is ending so let's fuck before we die" kind of trope. I didn't read the tags so I semi-expected that.
All done for now,
—Josh Skousen
Why is this story thrown in absolutely every group it can possibly be in, including those that contradict one another?
9066154 Thank you for your comment.
You've won the comment section minigame. Congratulations!
The fate of Luna will be revealed in the next chapter.
1. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
2. I see your point. In writing, it's kind of hard to write both what's going on and their response all at once. The next chapter shall be more emotional.
3. I was trying to focus more on the character's reaction to the ordeal than the ordeal itself. But I do see your point. Perhaps I should have tried to make the reader feel like being in a furnace.
4. I remember you. We've had many interactions in the past.
5. The phrase 'I've got this' is more of a reference of Twilight's song 'I wasn't prepared for this', where she hopes to be prepared, but is not sure.
6. What's wrong with my usage of the word 'mane'?
7. Good catch on the double 'dismissed'. Fixed.
8. There's very little time for emotions. I shall focus on reminiscence in the next chapter. There shall also be a sequel to this story.
9. Your comment is one of the longest I've ever received. I appreciate your effort.
10. I like your idea of where this story could have gone. I'd have to strap the mature rating on it, if I went that route, though.
Again, thanks for this.
9066193 If you or anypony else notice that this story is in a wrong group, please let me know so I can remove it.
This is interesting so far. I'm wondering why it has so many mixed reviews. It's not like it's badly written, and the premise is interesting. Well I have one more chapter to read so we'll see I guess.
This has an interesting start, very enjoyable -- if not a little... hot? I don't know what I was going with that.
The premise is amusing, while also being a tad grim, and it was interesting to read through the start. Seeing Spike sacrifice himself was... wrenching; it came by rather quickly, naturally, and it could be seen as reality before it happened. Yet, Twilight's optimism was refreshing -- her blind belief in Spike was intriguing -- enough so that her very presence would be enough to cheer up others.
I could go on, but, sadly, I'm still a little distracted. It shouldn't be too long before I get around to the next chapter.
9068224 9162304 I'm sensing a trend here. After reading chapter 1, 'a pause' is needed before continuing with chapter 2.
I thank you both for the reviews. The things you mention are the very things I wanted to get across. It seems I, at least to some extent, succeeded in that.
The downvote bombardment from publishing seems to have stopped, as well. Perhaps the starting downvotes are a necessary evil for every dark story. There are some of the opinion that fanfictions of MLP should mimic the tone of MLP. I think the very reason why fanfiction exists is to explore the areas MLP didn't portray.
9162375
This is an "end of the world-story", on first glance, at the very least. It has to be dark, or you can't make it justice.
Considering the "Target audience", the MLP can't take on everything, but that should not stop us from enjopying the scene.
The effort put into the original story is a grand scene within which countless stories could play out.
I have enjoyed the story this far.
Maybe it feels a bit hesitant, but the dire scen may support or even demand this.