Where Nopony Has Gone Before

by Kane Magus

Little Chat

Chapter 14 – Little Chat

Pinkie Pie gasped in shock as she and Pony-Q appeared on the surface of the sun around which her world orbited. As she looked around, she decided that it would be a wise idea to upgrade from mere shock and progress onward to stark terror.

“Hold it right there,” said Pony-Q, as he bobbed up and down on the turbulent stellar matter. “Don’t say a single word. First, I want you to carefully reflect on how you are feeling right now, knowing that at any moment I could remove the bubble of protection that I have granted you which is preventing you from evaporating entirely.”

Pinkie Pie indeed didn’t say a word as she stared at the entity in mute fear.

“Got it?” said Pony-Q. “Good. Now, I want you to reflect on how it must have felt for Twilight Sparkle when you turned her into a human against her will, and how what you are feeling right now is probably similar to how she felt. I know you’ve already shown contrition about what you did to her, but I still feel like you need a more personal example of what such a thing feels like from the receiving end in order to drive the point home. Though, of course, it’s good to keep in mind as well that what Twilight felt is probably a mere shadow to what you are feeling now, given that her life was never in any real danger of ending suddenly, unlike yours is right now.”

Pinkie lowered her head and stared into the boiling plasma of the surface of the star. She remained silent, especially since she didn’t think she’d be able to speak at the moment without it devolving into terrified screams anyway. She was trying everything in her own considerable newfound powers to try to return to Ponyville, but her powers were being blocked. She could feel the excruciating heat all around her and knew that it was only at the whim of Pony-Q that she was still alive at all.

“Personally, the sort of thing that you did doesn’t bother me at all,” said Pony-Q, in a casual tone. “I could have turned your friend into a human and not batted an eye, even as she pleaded and begged to be changed back. Similarly, I could also strand you here for the rest of what would be your pitifully short life and I’d feel only the slightest tinge of regret as the millennia rolled onward. But you… you’re different, Pinkie Pie. I know that, and you know that. You seem to actually care about how others feel about you, even now that they are but insects to you. You want them to think well of you. You would go absolutely insane if they all hated you, wouldn’t you. That’s not a question, because I know that is exactly what would happen. Well, I have a bit of advice for you.”

Pinkie Pie looked up at him again and tried to focus entirely on the entity and to do what she could otherwise to ignore the rest of her maddening surroundings.

“Don’t do it. Don’t go insane,” said the omnipotent entity in the guise of the burgundy earth pony. “It may seem like a whole lot of fun at first, but afterward you just feel terrible about the whole thing. Believe me, I’ve been there. And as lovely as your mane and tail looks all lank like that, it’s just not you, you know?” He glanced down at the star matter and said, “Oh, you might want to brace yourself for a bit.”

Before he’d hardly finished the sentence, a solar flare erupted from the surface of the star right where they were standing. It was quite tiny in the grand scheme of things, a low B-class flare, but as far as Pinkie Pie was concerned, those brief few seconds that she found herself completely engulfed in star matter was her entire existence.

In a burst of light and sound, the pink pony suddenly found herself standing shakily on the outer hull of the Enterprise, just before her legs failed completely and she collapsed. Pony-Q was standing there in front of her again, nodding in approval, while she merely stared up at him, her eyes wide with horror. She was trying very hard to regain control of her shuddering breath again, and wasn’t altogether succeeding. The lack of air certainly wasn’t helping much in that regard.

“Very impressive,” said Pony-Q. “Even after I removed my protection from you, you still managed to hold yourself together for several seconds before I had to quite literally pull you out of the fire. Granted, another nanosecond or so and you would have been reduced to vapor, if even that. Let this be another lesson to you. I am more powerful than you. Any one of us Q will be stronger than you. The only reason you were able to defeat Q this morning is because Q was helping you in your battle against her. Keep that in mind. When I told you not to go mad earlier, that wasn’t just concern for your mental well being. While I, personally, am not one to chastise you for doing so, given that it would be rather hypocritical of me if I did, you can rest assured that the rest of the Q Continuum will come down on you hard. Very, very hard. And they won’t just be content with merely allowing you to be, let’s say, trapped as stone for several thousand years. No, that’s what they do when they’re being nice. That’s what they do when they are dealing with family. You, Pinkie Pie, are not a Q. There are some in the Continuum who would see you destroyed even now, merely for existing as you are. I’d rather not contemplate what they would do to you if you actively started to cause trouble. I say this not as a threat, but as a heartfelt warning to a kindred spirit. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you, my dear. In fact, I would probably fight with every ounce of my being to prevent it from happening, but…” He sighed. “I’m just one Q after all.”

“What do you want from me?!” Pinkie Pie finally shrieked at him in anguish. “I already said I was sorry! I’ll never do anything like that ever again, I swear! I… I wish I didn’t even have these powers at all!”

“Pinkie Pie,” said Pony-Q, his voice softening from the hard, disciplinary tone he’d been using before. “Don’t say that. Your powers are a real gift, and ones that you came by honestly. They are yours in truth, and not something that was thrust upon you by an outside force like me. All you need to do is to learn to use them responsibly. Also, need I remind you that if you didn’t have those powers, we’d all either be dead or speaking Borg right about now? Seriously, I hope my little demonstration here hasn’t scarred you too much, and I hope that between this and your earlier experience with Twilight Sparkle, you will take this lesson to heart. Don’t toy with other beings. Again, I say this not because I personally care what you do, but because I know that you care. I know that you won’t like how you end up if you do. And, no, that’s not yet another threat. Even if the Continuum somehow were to let you get away with something truly terrible, I know that you would ultimately end up punishing yourself for it. Make of this what you will. I know you’ll do the right thing in the end.”

Pinkie Pie bit her bottom lip. “Well, this is what I wanted to talk to you about before, anyway. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? Things can’t go back to the way they were before, can they?”

“And why not?” said Pony-Q. “You’re nigh omnipotent now. You can do almost anything and everything you want. And if what you truly want to do is live a ‘normal’ life in Ponyville, then what is stopping you? The only difference now is that you’ll know how your Pinkie Sense works among other things, right? You’ll know that you can eat a literal ton of chocolate without having a tummy ache afterwards. Unless, for some weird reason, you decide that you want that tummy ache, then you can have it as well.”

“But I’m not the same pony that I was two days ago,” said Pinkie. “What do I do about my friends being scared of me now? How do I reassure them that I would never do anything to harm them? For that matter, how can I really be sure that I won’t do anything to hurt them even if I don’t mean to? Like… what happened with Twilight just now.”

“Baby steps, my dear Pinkie Pie. Baby steps,” said Pony-Q. “Don’t start off by trying to turn your friends into other creatures, for one thing. Or, at the very least, make absolutely sure that they’re okay with it before you do, anyway. As for your friends being frightened of you, that’s only to be expected. But I think you’ll find that their newfound fear of you isn’t suddenly their defining character trait. You still consider yourself their friend, do you not?”

“Of course I am,” said the pink pony. “Twilight is one of the best friends I have, along with AJ and Dashie and Rarity and Fluttershy and Spike.”

“Well, think about it like this,” said Pony-Q. “What if it was one of them instead of you? Let’s say Twilight Sparkle, for instance. In this hypothetical situation, let’s say that Twilight somehow suddenly finds or creates an artifact that allows her to master her magic to such an extent that even both Celestia and Luna combined pale in comparison to her. She now shapes reality as she sees fit, not unlike a Q… and not unlike you. You’re not sure if this power is corrupting her, but she reassures you that it has not. There are a few missteps at the beginning where she does some things that don’t quite go as she intended them to go, but in the end she makes things right and apologizes for screwing up. So how do you feel about her now?”

Pinkie Pie didn’t answer immediately. After a few moments of considering it, she said, “Well… I’d think it was really cool that she was so strong now. I might be a bit wary when she started doing some heavy-duty magic, at least until I was sure that she could handle it without blowing everything up. But I wouldn’t ever hate her for it, at least as long as she didn’t let it go to her head and become a big mean bully. And even then, I’d try to help her realize she was being a big meanie instead of just shunning her.”

“Very good,” said the burgundy pony. “Remember what you said at the end there. Don’t become a bully with your powers and you’ll do just fine. As long as your friends see that you’re still acting in good faith, their initial fear of you will fade with time. I do have some advice for you, though. Some real advice this time, that is, and not just warnings of dire threats to your existence or whatever. Don’t become a deus ex machina. Don’t become the one who solves all of your friends’ problems before they even know they have problems. Don’t become a Pony Sue. You might think that it’s fun at first to be the one who always gallops in at the last minute, or even the first minute, to save the day, or the one who makes everypony else love you without exception, or the one who… well, you get my drift. It may be amusing at first, but you’ll get bored with that, and very quickly. Here’s a tip, just from me to you. Play games of chance, whether it’s just a simple game of cards or something far more elaborate. I’ll leave it to your imagination what I mean by that. I’m sure you wouldn’t be into the deadlier variations on that theme, but still, just keep it in mind, okay? Also, don’t unduly affect the outcome of these games either, or else you’ll ruin all the fun of it. If you always win no matter what, then what’s the point, right? This is how I’ve managed to keep my sanity all these millennia. Well, for the most part, anyway. That’s why I’m still the fun guy you see before you now and not one of those stodgy old coots who spend their days sitting around the Continuum doing absolutely nothing at all.” As he said the last, his eyes suddenly lit up as though he’d just had the most brilliant idea imaginable.

“Is… everything all right?” asked Pinkie a bit nervously.

“I just had the most brilliant idea imaginable,” said Pony-Q excitedly. “You should come back to the Continuum with me!”

“What?” said the pink pony. “No! Why would I want to go there? All of my friends are in Ponyville. I mean sure, I considered it earlier, but…”

Pony-Q shook his head. “Oh heavens no, Pinkie, I don’t want you to come live in the Continuum. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. I wouldn’t even wish that on Guinan. I certainly wouldn’t have forced Riker to endure such ennui for long. No, I just want you to visit for a bit. Here’s what I have in mind.” With that he started laying out his plans to Pinkie. At first she was unsure, but very quickly she was grinning from ear to ear and nodding enthusiastically and even offering some suggestions of her own to add to those of Pony-Q. Without her even realizing it, the color returned to her body and her mane and tail poofed back out into their normal curly state. And then, with simultaneous bursts of light (white in Pony-Q’s case and, of course, pink in Pinkie’s case) they vanished from the hull of the Enterprise.

---

“And then they just vanished!” said Twilight, as she explained to her friends what was going on in the aftermath of Pony-Q essentially kidnapping Pinkie Pie. It had been over an hour since the two had disappeared, and Twilight and her friends had gathered once more in the Ponyville library.

“But… I don’t get it,” said Rainbow Dash. “You think he was going to punish her or something?”

“You didn’t see him,” said Twilight. “He looked rather annoyed with her. But, more importantly, you didn’t see her. She lost her color and curls again, Rainbow.”

“Oh…” said Dash, frowning as comprehension dawned on her.

“What does that mean?” said Applejack. “I mean, sure, we all saw her at the birthday party, but…”

“Well, let’s just say,” said Rainbow Dash, “that if… when... when we see her again, we all need to do our best to reassure her that she’s our friend, no matter what.”

“But why would she ever doubt that?” asked Rarity. “Well, okay, aside from the time that she thought we all hated her because we were being so evasive about her surprise party. But I thought she’d learned her lesson from that already.”

“She can read minds now, Rarity,” said Twilight simply.

“Oh…” said Rarity, then her eyes widened. “Oh!” She sighed and said, “Well, I do admit that I’ve sometimes felt a bit… impatient with Pinkie in the past. But I never… well, rarely ever actually voiced those feelings. If she’s picking up on those hidden feelings now…”

“But… everypony feels like that sometimes,” said Fluttershy. “W-we can’t help it. Even I do, and not just about Pinkie Pie. We all have sides of ourselves that we’d rather not have others see. I… I’m one of the bad ponies who let her inner feelings out in a fit of anger once and… well, it made two of my best friends cry, and I still feel horrible about it to this day. Rarity, I… I’m sorry. I can’t tell you enough how sorry I am for that horrible outburst the other day. I would apologize again to Pinkie as well, but…”

“Fluttershy,” said Rarity, “you’re not a bad pony. Don’t worry about it. I know you were under a lot of stress during that time, and I know that you don’t really think that I’m… petty. We all say things that we don’t really mean sometimes, even if we think we do at the time. As for Pinkie, well… partying is where her passion lies, and while I admit that I have myself thought of her as rather frivolous at times, I also have to admit that some of the most fun I’ve ever had in my life has been at her parties, so I guess there’s much to be said for frivolity. I wouldn’t change that about Pinkie for the world.”

“I just can’t imagine what it must be like for her,” said Applejack. “She’s friends with everypony in Ponyville and quite a few outside of Ponyville as well. But she can be a bit too… rambunctious sometimes. I’m sure ya’ll remember how she was when Cranky moved to Ponyville. That sort of thing is gonna ruffle a few feathers, even on us ponies who ain’t pegasi and don’t have feathers, but surely she has to realize that even if we get a bit short tempered with her at times, and might be thinkin’ less than kind thoughts about her occasionally, that don’t mean that we’ve stopped carin’ about her.”

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash, “I have to admit that I thought she was really annoying at first, and she can still be kinda grating even after I got to know her pretty well, but on the whole I couldn’t have asked for a better friend than Pinkie Pie and I wouldn’t trade that for anything, not even a single song-free day.”

Twilight nodded and said, “All right. So the plan is that as soon as we see Pinkie again, we ponypile her and give her the biggest group hug we’ve ever given and let her know just how much she means to all of us.”

“That’s assuming we ever do see her again,” said Fluttershy. “I can’t bear to think of what she must be going through right now, off who knows where with Discord… er, I mean that Q pony… who was Discord…” She shook her head in confusion. “Oh, she must be feeling just horrible.”

All further conversation was interrupted when there was a sudden burst of white/pink light which left Pony-Q and Pinkie Pie unexpectedly standing in their midst. Both of them were cackling madly.

“Ahahaha, that was perfect, Pinkie Pie,” said Pony-Q, who for some strange reason was wearing a lampshade on his head.

“Wasn’t it though?!” said Pinkie, who was wearing a matching lampshade on her own head. “You should have seen the look on Q’s face!”

“Oh and when I spiked the punch and then Q started to recite poetry,” said the burgundy pony. “I’ve never heard such a horrible thing in my entire long existence! It was absolutely hilarious!”

“I was just surprised at how many words he managed to find to rhyme with ‘orange,’” said Pinkie Pie, “even if he did have to switch to Ferengi or Antedean or whatever else in midsentence.”

“Yeah,” said Pony-Q. “Oh, and that mountain of ice cream you made! I thought Q was going to explode! I never would have expected what a total hog he was.”

“It was great, and I’m glad at least a few of them had fun,” said the pink pony. “It’s just too bad that they rather quickly kicked me out of the Continuum on pain of existence failure if I ever show my face there again.”

“Oh, psh. Don’t even worry about that,” said Pony-Q dismissively. “Most of those stuffy old codgers wouldn’t know fun if it literally came up and bit them in the flank. And in Q’s case that’s exactly what happened! And he really didn’t recognize it! Oh my, I should have taken pictures! But anyway, yeah, you’re not missing out on anything by never going back there again. And, you know, for what it’s worth, I could probably get you back in again in the future without them doing anything to you if you really did want to go back for some oddball reason. Anyway, I have business elsewhere at the moment, so I’ll see you later. Remember what we talked about before.” With a wave of a hoof, he disappeared.

After Pony-Q’s departure, Pinkie Pie finally realized where she was and that all of her friends were standing there and staring at her with their mouths hanging open. “Oh, hi girls, what’s up?” said Pinkie, giving them a cheerful wink. The lampshade flopped down over her eyes and she flicked it back up with a shake of her head.

Twilight worked her mouth for a bit and then managed to get some words out. “Um, Pinkie? Are you… okay? We were so worried about you.”

“Never been better!” said the pink earth pony. “Well, okay, I admit that I was feeling pretty down in the dumps when Q first pulled me away, but I think the chat I had with him has helped to put things into perspective for me. And just so you all know, I heard everything you said just now, and I don’t hold it against you that you might think badly of me sometimes. I know I’ve done things that I realize now may have annoyed you, and for that I’m sorry. I can’t promise that I’ll never do anything like that again, but I’ll try my best. So…” She looked at her friends expectantly.

“Huh?” said Rainbow Dash.

“Weren’t you guys planning to do something the next time you saw me?” asked Pinkie Pie with a grin. “I really could use that group hug right about now, I think.”

The other five ponies looked at each other then broke out into grins of their own. True to their word, they rushed over to their friend and gave her the biggest hug ever.

“It’s so good to have friends like you guys,” said Pinkie. “Even if we can sometimes get on each others nerves, I realize now that we’ll always be friends. In fact, I think I feel a song coming on.” At the involuntary groans in reaction to this, most notably from Rainbow Dash and Rarity, Pinkie giggled and said, “Just kidding!”

Comments

[Puzzle Reader]

That talk with Q and Pinkie was just... wow. Gave me shivers.

[Commander Jenna Cipher]

Oh god.... That poetry was... VOGON POETRY... Wasn't it... May Pinkie Pie Have Mercy on Our Souls, even the Q have caught the vogon poetry flu... WHEN WILL THIS POETRY LEAVE US ALONE!

[Sora2455]

...I wonder why Pinkie wishing her powers away didn't work?

[The_Laundry]

5695943 actually, It was most likely poetry by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, of 20th century Earth, whose poetry is cited as the worst in the universe. Though it is also likely that it might have been poetry by the Azgoths of Kris, the second worst.

[FridayPie]

5884569

Just like a certain Q could not kill himself