I Am The Villain!

by Chemtest

Well, I guess it nice to talk for a change

I sit down at the head of the table, and this time the spread of my guests is near even. Rarity and Applejack sit near me, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow sit near Twilight who I stare at across the table. She looks at me a while more, “Well, I still think we should use the Elements on you.”

Fluttershy looks over at her, “Twilight.”

I sigh, and plates of banana related food are laid out before us, “I don’t know what these Elements are, but I feel that’s a threat.”

Fluttershy looks deeply at Twilight, “Please don’t continue this, you will regret it.”

She smiles, “If you aren’t a villain, then you have nothing to worry about.”

Fluttershy bangs her head into the table, “Why, Twilight?”

I smile back, “Well, I am a villain, so I will take that as a threat. And you know what I have to say to that?”

“Wha-“

“No, I don’t even care if you want to know what, I will say it.” I plop a crown down on the table, “This is my Corporation, I am the Emperor! I committed a coup to retrieve this crown and to ensure happiness! You know what that’s called? Going through something in order to help? It’s called courage, something wich I highly doubt you’ve ever had!”

She recoils a bit at my angry rant, “I should have you know-“

I laugh, “Oh, you know nothing! Nothing of what and who I am! You obviously haven’t gone through the hardships of living beneath a father that was a failed villain! I had to go through school every day getting bullied and picked on because my father failed! They said he didn’t even deserve the title!”

“Well-“

I only shout louder, “You don’t know what it feels like to be excommunicated from villainous society because your mother was a hero! Or to be rejected from hero society because your father was a villain!”

“Then maybe your father shouldn’t have been evil!”

Fluttershy looks back up, “Twilight, no.”

I rip out my wand and point it at her, “Shut up!” The spell closes her mouth instantly, “I will not have you sully my fathers name by calling him evil, you motherfucker! He was a righteous villain, he was a good man! And I will not have some cunt like you think you can bitch about him simply because he was a villain! He had no choice!”

I can hear Rarity speak up from my side, “What do you mean he had no choice?”

I calm myself down, “There are people in the world. People born with attributes that mark them either as a hero or villain. Namely, their hate of the other against all reason. Hero’s are born with magic within them that manifests in differnt ways to make them stronger, faster, things like that. Villains have external sources of power, like money, charms, smarts, and fame. I am a hybrid, born with an external source of magic, and an internal source of power.”

“And what would these be?”

I place my wand on the table, “This is the external source of magic, my trusty wand. My internal power is to travel across dimensions and universes. I was a leader of a teleportation company to allow quick travel. I classify as a villain because I am smarter, more clever, and more charming than most, things that fall under a villains category. And I continue to be a villain, but I am not evil.”

Rarity smiles and nods, “Well, then I am sure you can find it in your heart to release Twilight from her spell.”

I nod, and point the wand at her, “Magus dissipateus!”

She opens her jaw, and starts moving it. Then she looks to me, “I am sorry, I didn’t know.”

I smile slightly, “Don’t worry, I forgive you. I can understand why one may think I am evil when I say I am a villain, especially in a world where villains of my type don’t seem common.” I look around the table, “Well, go ahead and eat! We definitely aren’t running out of bananas anymore!”

Applejack starts to eat, before looking over at me, “So, you like to grow bananas?”

I stare at her, “We are called Bananaramma for a reason. We don’t really grow bananas, but replicate them.”

She shrugs and returns to eating. Then Rainbow looks at me as well, “So, anyone that can fly over there?”

I nod, “Oh yes, flight is available to everyone. Of course, hero’s are the only ones who can fly by themselves, but still.”

She looks at me once again, “I don’t see any wings, how do you fly?”

I think for a bit, “Useing your worlds tech level, it will be hard to describe. The basic way of saying it is that we fly on airplanes, wich are like giant metal birds with engines.”

“So like a metal airship?”

“Larger than your airships, much larger. They also move faster.”

“Bet they cant beat me!”

“They can do double sonic bursts, something you can’t do and survive.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, you cannot go fast enough to do two sonic bursts at once, or you would die.”

Twilight decides to interrupt, “I hope you don’t mind if I could ask a few questions?”

Fluttershy glares at her a bit, “He shouldn’t have to, based on your actions he should decline.”

I hold my hand up, “Fluttershy, I appreciate it, but please. I forgave her. Twilight, what do you want to ask?”

“Two things. One, how did you arrive at this world.”

I shrug, “Probably got drunk and accidentally teleported universes.”

“Two, you pronounced the words on your spell on me normally. Why did it work?”

I smile, “I pronounce it silly to have more fun. Well, no, that’s not entirely true. I have to say it like that for some spells if I want them to be nearly as powerful.”

She nods, “Okay.”

I stretch, “Well, I’m off to sleep, ask the guards where your rooms are.”

Comments

[Resadur164]

ooh some world building nice was wondering if it was just going to be a random dude villain just having fun or something deep and we are starting to dig deep

[PuppetXMaster]

I was enjoying this, it was nice and silly but still self-conscious enough to be stable, but now it's just being random

what self-claimed villain uses vulgar language? they have class, STYLE! their insults are poems!

this...is just a silly man that swears at people when he gets angry, he is no villain