Alternate Beginnings: Year Five

by Doug Graves

14 Fire, Wood, and Stone

May 5th, 997

Apple Bloom paces back and forth in one of the Apple barns, excitement plain on her face about finally getting more formal instruction on cooking the various meals. Normally she just hangs around Doug while he works in the kitchen, explaining tidbits here and there, but rarely allowing her to help on preparing anything more difficult than sandwiches. Applejack had asked Granny and Pinkie Pie to help her and her sisters learn, the filly starting to get anxious about the upcoming lessons.

The Apple penchant for never throwing things away that might find some use, somewhere, at some point, has given them enough ovens and cooking surfaces so that each filly will be able to have their own space. They have all sorts of recipes, probably more than there are Apples in the family! Granny knows just about every one, and she's taught just about all of them to Applejack.

Sweetie Belle nervously looks at the various cooking implements in front of her. She mouths the names of each utensil, pointing a hoof at each in turn. Scootaloo, on the other hoof, is much more excited at the prospect of trying something new, but her enthusiasm is quickly depleting as Applejack must be taking her sweet time getting here. She finds herself occasionally glancing over to her scooter, leaning against the wall by the door, but forces herself back to the contents of the room with a heavy sigh.

The three fillies gather around the box of utensils, pans, and assorted measuring cups that Doug had brought over. They don't have any filly sized versions, so each of them tests out carrying, lifting, and pouring imaginary liquids out of the various containers. Sweetie Belle starts lifting a pan with her magic while Apple Bloom takes one of the pots, trying to lift it above her head. Scootaloo grabs one of the measuring cups, lifting it up and peering at the numbers etched on the side.

Sweetie Belles grunts, having difficulty lifting the pan with her magic, and stomps a hoof in frustration. In front of her, Apple Bloom struggles with the large pot, finally bending over the black iron to try to grasp both ends with her hooves. Sweetie Belle's horn glows as she channels more into the telekinesis, trying to lift the pan into the air. However, her magic shoots past the pan, grabbing the pot instead.

Sweetie Belle thrusts her head up, a look of frustration at her pan as it fails to move. However, the pot lifts into the air, a startled Apple Bloom shrieking as she is carried along with it. The back half of her body hangs off the pot, the filly quickly letting go and falling the short drop to the floor. She lands on her rump with a loud bump, rubbing her backside as she looks down at the floor. Sweetie Belle grins when the pan slowly lifts, but gasps as she realizes what she is doing with the pot, her magic disappearing as the pot flips over.

Apple Bloom looks up, giving a short shriek as the pot falls. She bunches up, pulling her tail and legs close and making herself as small as possible as the pot lands neatly around her, deadening her shriek as the pan clatters to the floor.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo bound over to the pot as a loud voice comes from outside the barn, "Are you young'ins there?" The two fillies turn and look to the door, an elderly green earth pony glaring through half closed eyes. Granny Smith squints, looking around the room. "Where's Apple Bloom? Ah thought that filly knew we were supposed to be meeting here!"

A muffled, "Ah'm in here, Granny!" comes from the black pot.

"What's that?" Granny says, slowly making her way to the pot. She cocks an ear as she gets close, "You callin' me an ear?"

"No, Granny!" says the pot, "Ah said, Ah'm in here!" Apple Bloom knocks a hoof on the side of pot, immediately regretting her choice as the pot rings around her.

"What's that?" Granny Smith says again, pushing the pot over and revealing a dizzy Apple Bloom inside.

The filly raises her voice more than normal, her two sisters covering their ears, "AH SAID AH'M IN HERE!"

Granny Smith doesn't bat an eye, "Oh, well why didn't you say so?" She looks around, "Now, you three stop foaling around, Applejack and Pinkie Pie should be here lickety split, and we'll go over how we make some of the food 'round here."

The fillies settle down, though they quickly grow bored of the wait, this time with Granny making sure they aren't doing anything too destructive. A few minutes later, and Scootaloo is banging her hoof on the pots and pans, trying to find which one sounds the best. Apple Bloom is bobbing her head to the beat while Sweetie Belle is slowly growing more and more frustrated at the out of tune 'instruments'. The door to the barn opens, Applejack yelling, "Who in tarnation is making all this racket?"

Granny Smith yells back, "What racket?" as she looks up from the oven she was inspecting. The large cast iron stove has stood the test of time well, though Doug had been through there fairly recently to clean up any rust or debris, especially with them using the barn on occasion for Pinkie Pie's large orders.

Pinkie Pie enters after Applejack, pronking up and down to the beat. "Exactly, Applejack! What are you talking about? This is great!" She jiggles around, happily nuzzling the various fillies and Granny as she moves around the room. The other ovens in the room also are well-kept, and each filly moves to one.

Granny Smith is not nearly as amused; when Pinkie Pie nuzzles her she says, "Y'all ready to start baking, or you want to keep foaling around?" Applejack and Pinkie Pie move to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom while Granny Smith moves towards Scootaloo. "Now, what did you young'ins want to cook?"

Apple Bloom yells, "Pies!", Scootaloo yells, "Potato Fries!", Sweetie Belle yells, "Quesadillas!", and Pinkie Pie yells, "Cupcakes!"

All heads turn to Pinkie Pie, the mares rolling their eyes. "What?" Pinkie Pie exclaims, "I'm a young'in! And I've got a song and everything!"

Applejack shakes her head, "Maybe another time, Pinkie. Granny Smith, Ah think you'll get pies, you know those best." Granny Smith mutters something, wandering around and looking for pie ingredients. "Pinkie Pie, you want to get fries?"

Pinkie Pie huffs, "Fine." She walks with a downcast face towards Apple Bloom, her mane losing a little luster as she mutters to herself, "Can't believe nopony wants to make cupcakes. What's wrong with cupcakes? Nothing, that's what!" She plops down next to Apple Bloom, "So, you want to make pies, huh? Not cupcakes?" Pinkie blows a bit of her mane out of her face.

Apple Bloom sighs, "Ah'm sure you'll have the chance to teach me how to bake cupcakes, Pinkie Pie. But if Ah'm gonna be an Apple, Ah gotta know how to cook apple pie." Pinkie Pie snorts, looking off to the side. Apple Bloom continues, "And, you're a Pie, aren't you? Ah bet you know how to cook some really delicious pies!"

Each pony turns and watches as Pinkie Pie lights the oven, "Well, yeah, duh, I can make a pie. I can make anything! I want to make cupcakes!" Pinkie Pie grabs a potato, "And instead, I'm showing you how to make fries." She takes a knife, a blur of motion as she chops the potato up, the whole potato neatly collapsing into long slices, "Any fry cook worth their salt can make fries." She tosses a few spices, some oil, and various powders into a bag, followed by the potatoes, shaking the contents, "And you know the funny thing?" She tosses the coated potatoes onto a baking sheet, "So can any pony else." She places the baking sheet into the oven, kicking the door closed. "And we're done. So, you want to learn how to make cupcakes?" she asks, her mane poofing back a little to its normal size.

Apple Bloom watches the fifteen seconds it took Pinkie Pie to complete the entire task with her mouth gaping open. Pinkie Pie reaches a hoof over, closing Apple Bloom's mouth for her. The filly shakes her head, her eyes focusing and saying, "That was incredible! How'd you learn to cook like that?"

"Oh, that's easy! Let me show you a trick Doug showed me to practice dexterity." She grabs a large knife, asking Apple Bloom, "Do you trust me?"

Apple Bloom nods nervously, "Ah huh." Applejack looks on nervously, unsure whether getting in Pinkie's way would be safer than staying away.

"Okay, now hold still." Pinkie Pie takes Apple Bloom's hoof, placing it onto one of the tables. She sticks the knife into the table on one side of her hoof, slowly raising it back up. Apple Bloom gulps, her eyes bugging out of her face as Pinkie stabs the knife onto the other side of her hoof. Pinkie Pie starts slow, back and forth over the hoof, the knife gradually picking up speed. It soon becomes a blur, the rhythmic thunking of the knife into the table. "You know, this was way more impressive when Doug did it. I don't know why; I guess we'll just have to make it more interesting!"

Apple Bloom shudders, though her hoof remains in place, "Do Ah want it to be more interesting?"

Pinkie Pie shrugs, as she casually tosses a potato over Apple Bloom's hoof. The thunk of the knife doesn't change, but the potato is shredded into long wafers. The action stops, "So, want to learn how to make potato chips?"

Apple Bloom inspects her hoof, amazed at the lack of scratches. "Sure!" she pipes up, looking over at Pinkie Pie excitedly.

"Well, guess what? It's almost the same!" Pinkie Pie frowns, taking the cut wafers, tossing them into the bag and shaking up the flavoring spices. "You just cook them at a lower temperature for less time!" She takes another baking sheet, tossing the wafers and slamming the whole thing into a different oven. She sits down on her rump, hind legs sticking in front of her while her forelegs cross in front. "Any questions?"

The other ponies in the room roll their eyes, though Applejack's ear flicks back as she hears Apple Bloom's question.

"Um, how do Ah cut the potatoes?" Apple Bloom says, one hoof going to a knife. She picks it up, pointing the end at her eye as she inspects the sharpness.

Pinkie Pie holds up her knife and another potato as Applejack moves over, hastily taking the knife from Apple Bloom before the filly can stab herself, "How about, before we start, we do a quick chat about safety in the kitchen. Also, didn't Doug bring one of his metal doohickeys?"

Apple Bloom shakes her head, "No, Ah think it's still in the kitchen."

Applejack nods, "Alright, Granny, can you go get that? It looks like one of them boxes we cart the chickens around in."

"Ah know what'cha mean, missy. Ah'll be back in a jiffy!" Granny Smith slowly walks to the barn door, shutting it behind her.

Applejack continues, "Well, Ah wanted to have each of us teach the fillies a dish individually, get some one on one time, but Ah see that might not have been the best of choices. So, we're going to go over a bit of kitchen etiquette, and safety. Now, what is this?" Applejack holds up a large knife.

Pinkie Pie raises a hoof, still grasping a knife, and waves it around in the air. Applejack sighs, covering her eyes with a hoof. Pinkie Pie gulps, looking up at the knife, and swaps hooves, holding the other hoof in the air, now waving a potato back and forth. Apple Bloom tentatively says, "It's a knife?"

Applejack nods while Pinkie Pie lowers her hoof, a frown on her face. Applejack says, "Good, and we use straight edged knives like these to cut vegetables, sometimes fruits, and things like potatoes. We also have bread knives" -she briefly holds up a long knife- "which are serrated" -she points at the curved sections- "to help you get through those tough crusts." She puts it back on the table and takes a potato. "Now, you will use two hooves when you cut things, one holding the knife and the other whatever it is you are cutting. So it's important to be comfortable with standing upright, especially when you are working on things that are tough and you have to use a lot of force."

Applejack stands up on her hind hooves, resting her elbows of her forelegs on the table. "Now, these knives are very sharp and quite dangerous. Repeat after me, Ah will never play around with knives."

The trio choruses, "I will never play around with knives."

"Ah will never point a knife at anything Ah do not want to get cut."

"I will never point a knife at anything I do not want to get cut."

Applejack nods, looking over at Sweetie Belle. "Now, Sweetie Belle, Ah don't mean to pick on you or nothing. However, until you get a firm, and Ah mean near perfect, grasp on your telekinesis, Ah expect you to use your hooves. Ah don't want any accidents, not in my kitchen."

Sweetie Belle nods, looking down, "Okay, Miss Applejack."

Applejack moves over, nuzzling the filly, "Now, none of that, Ah'm still just Applejack to you. Scootaloo, same for you. Please don't use your wings. Ah know some pegasi have it down where they can pick things up with their wings, and it's a big help in the kitchen, and in general. But, until you get more comfortable, Ah want to see you only using your hooves. Also, no using the scooter in the kitchen."

"Got it!"

"Now, we'll start on cutting up potatoes to make fries. Doug made a fancy contraption that Granny is getting, but sometimes you just need to cut a couple of potatoes or vegetables. So, Ah want to see each of you standing up at the table." The fillies each slowly get on two hooves, "And, each of you take a knife, and remember, these are sharp and not to be used as toys."

Each filly takes a knife and a potato, standing in front of the smaller table. Applejack demonstrates holding the knife, how to hold the potato still, and how to slide the knife back and forth or chop up and down in order to get clean, safe cuts. Pinkie Pie is quickly getting bored; as the fillies start cutting their second potato Applejack moves over, saying in a hushed tone, "Did Doug actually do that trick with a knife?"

Pinkie Pie shakes her head, "He said he saw it done with a knife in movie, but no, he used a pen, and drew on himself a little. He said it hurt, but also that it would look a lot better with a knife!"

Applejack stares at Pinkie Pie, "Ah huh. Now, Ah know you like things exciting, but we're dealing with some pretty excitable young'ins here. And Ah'm sorry this ain't a more exciting subject, Pinkie. Ah didn't realize we'd be focusing so much on basics. Ah know Ah asked you to help, and Ah appreciate that. But, if'n you want to leave, you can, Ah'll be fine here."

"Okay!" Pinkie Pie says, disappearing from the room.

"Huh," Applejack says, looking outside, "Ah thought she'd put up more of a fight than that." She turns back, looking at the odd shapes in front of each filly. She stops herself from saying something nasty, going instead with, "So, how did your fries come out?"

"Ah'm making triangles!" says Scootaloo, placing her long triangles in a circle, "And they're ramps! Rainbow's talking about making a course outside, and she's gonna help me design and build it!"

Sweetie Belle holds up one of her very thinly sliced pieces, "I'm making ribbons!"

Apple Bloom looks at the small cubes in front of her, "Ah think Ah made too many cuts."

Applejack smiles at each of them, "Well, the nice thing about fries is there is no right shape. Now, Pinkie Pie was using some spices. Putting the potatoes in a bag and shaking them is a good way to spread the spices evenly, over all of the potatoes, so each of you are going to put your slices into the bag, shake it up, and then put the slices on a baking sheet."

Each filly, in turn, follows the instruction, but none are as speedy as Pinkie Pie in dumping their potatoes in or out of the bag. The baking sheet go into the first oven Pinkie Pie used as Granny Smith comes back in, holding the potato slicer. Applejack demonstrates, pushing a potato through. She uses the remaining spices to coat the fries before adding them to the over, saying, "Now; Rainbow, Doug, and you, Scootaloo, really like their potato fries. Most other ponies are fairly indifferent to them, so keep that in mind when you are deciding how many fries to make. Rainbow eats two potatoes or so a meal, Doug one." Applejack moves over, pulling out flour and a few pie tins. "Now, who wants to learn how to make apple pies?" smiling as all three fillies raise their hooves in the air.

Comments

[Viper Pit]

now i'm hungry

[Forge Blood]

9155951
Hi hugry I'm Forge.
And I'm Pinkie!

[Viper Pit]

9156358
that was a bad dad joke but at the same time a classic

[Heidao]

Character growth and bonding, good to see the CMC grow

[DarkPhoenixx]

9414677
I still think it's weird the CMC already knowing each other. Isnt it like episode3 or 4 that Scoots meets AB and SB? But oh well.... I actually like them better this way bc it explains better why they just connect so well right from the start.....besides 'fillies will be fillies' lol

[Silentwoodfire]

Why hasnt doug marketed his simple tools yet? Making certain applications stupid-easy like the potato slicer and such would help the farm in the long run

[Doug Graves]

10250602
After writing this chapter I remember watching an episode where either Pinkie Pie or Applejack did use a tool like it. I hadn't remembered noticing it before. I like to ascribe the ponies a higher level of intelligence/tech than most, though it's not really noticed, especially in Ponyville. But it's more that I never cared, in other stories, when displaced persons used their outside knowledge in order to get rich. I much prefer when it's their own work.