• Published 18th Aug 2012
  • 4,008 Views, 59 Comments

Broken Dawn - HIDEMYPAST



Nightmare Moon. They thought she was defeated - but nothing can destroy the indestructible.

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Chapter 8 - The Purity Stone

Applejack gazed blankly at the grand room she and her friends had been gathered in, not really paying attention to anything. Since they discovered that it was impossible to 'free' Twilight without the Elements, all of them had been distant. Even Rainbow Dash, who had weakly tried to protest it wasn't all over, had fallen victim to the depression surrounding the group. Even news that the Princess' had made a breakthrough didn't lift their moods.

''Ah, Elements of Harmony. We are glad you could join us.'' Princess Celestia's voice startled Applejack, and she lifted her head to look at the tall figures.

''Princess.'' Applejack nodded respectfully, trying to keep the mournful tone out of her voice.

Luna frowned. ''Applejack, what is wrong? We - I, can tell something is wrong.''

Applejack sighed, and looked to the ground.

''Please tell us we can save Twilight! There must be something other than the E-Elements!'' Dash's loud voice sounded unusually strained, and it was impossible to miss the desperate sadness she hadn't managed to hide.

Both of the Princess' faces softened in understanding.

Luna drifted forward and placed a hoof on the pegasus' shoulder. ''Rainbow Dash, I am sorry you had to hear that.''

Dash's eyes widened, and a strangled sob Applejack would never manage to forget escaped from the pegasus' mouth.

Luna gasped at the reaction. ''O-Oh, no! Rainbow Dash, we did not mean it as though it is true!''

Pinkie lifted her head. ''N-not true?'' She sputtered, her voice shaky from lack of use.

Celestia nodded, stepping forward to stand beside her sister. ''Not everything you read in books is true, especially theoretical ones. No, there is one other way.''

In less than a second, all of the happiness that the pink earth pony had been searching was returned. Grey, limp hair inflated and brightened. Hooves shot into the air in an excited bounce, and the grin all of them had been missing seemed bigger than ever.

''Really?'' Pinkie Pie's energetic voice seemed to send the first shakes of happiness through Applejack, and from the smiles on her friend's faces, she wasn't the only one. All of them shuffled closer, and Dash almost rocketed upwards.

Luna and Celestia nodded. ''Yes.'' The sun princess looked upwards. ''The stone that only exists when it is most needed, created by us in case of an emergency.''

''Where is it?'' Dash had came to a hovering stop, just above the group.

Luna chuckled nervously. ''You must understand what we meant by emergency, Rainbow Dash. Ou- My sister meant it should be used when a very strong or important pony became...Let's say infected.'' She coughed, looking anywhere but the group.

''Like you?'' Fluttershy whispered, eyes wide.

Luna nodded. ''And, being a very intelligent infection, I may or have not thrown it into an teleportation abyss, sending it Who-knows-where.''

The group's blank stares prompted Luna to speak again.

''In short, I sent it away and have no idea where it ended up.'' She chuckled again, this time much more nervously. ''And now you know why it wasn't used on me! Hooray!''

Dash facehoofed.

Comments ( 7 )

Short chapter is short because bleh.

Oh, Princess Luna and her shenanigans.

Woot yay! (BTW I'm ViridianEagle from deviantART, remember me? :rainbowhuh:)

FIrst off, this story is way to fast paced. Everything happen at alarming speed with barely any build up. Expanding upon character's personal struggles, giving more time for them to develop, giving Twilight more time to interact with Nightmare Moon, and finally, Twilight should hate Nightmare Moon for being the reason why the princesses want to kill her, but she didn't even once demand for the monster to leave her or crused her name.

Also, purify stone is a poor plot device that came out from nowhere.
Celestia had like, 1000 years to search for it, and use against Nightmare Moon, should she return, but she did nothing of that, and instead decided to risk life of a pony she cared about. And now, what the powerful wise and experienced princess didn't bother search for 1000 years, main 6 will have to find in a day or less.

Do not be afraid to write far more words, move the plot forward slower, and add more chapters for character development, or to set up the scene for incomming events, it will do good for your stories. Also, just my personal preference, I hope that main 5 will fail to find that stone, because if they find it in a day or less while Celesita didn't in 1000 years, it would make her look like a stupid incompetent fool, and this is so overdone.

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