Season 4
66 & 67. Princess Twilight Sparkle
"Oh ho ho! This is so much fun!" Discord said as Princess Celestia and Princess Luna approached his throne in the chaos capital of the world. "How about a game of Pin the Tail on the Pony?" he said, holding Celestia's tail. Celestia gasped to see that indeed her rump was now bare.
"Playtime is over for you Discord!" Celestia shouted.
"Oh, I doubt that!" Discord replied, munching on his bag of plunderseeds. "Hungry?" he asked, offering them the bag. "Suit yourselves." Celestia and Luna each took the Elements of Harmony from their bags. "Ooh, what have you got there?"
"The Elements of Harmony," Celestia said.
"With them, we shall defeat you!" Luna added with conviction. Discord could only laugh.
"Hahaha! You should see yourselves right now! The expressions on your face! So intense. So sure of yourselves! Hilarious!" A blast of rainbow magic turned the draconequus to stone.
A moment later Starlight Glimmer appeared in a flash of purple light. She surveyed the area around the new statue and began firing bouts of wildfire flame spells from her horn, spraying it liberally in a wide swath, popping all the plunderseeds like popcorn and leaving a massive brown patch of scorched earth around the stone figure. The two alicorns looked on in confused awe.
"What?" Starlight asked indignantly. "Do you want plundervines? Because that's how you get plundervines!"
68. Castle Mane-ia
Newly instated Princess Sparkle had already let the power and stress of her title get the better of her, based on the manhandling of the book that she tossed in frustration across the room, nearly taking out her faithful servant Spike.
“What's wrong, Twilight?”
“Ugh, I've gone through every book in Ponyville, Spike,” she informed him, “and there isn't a single mention of the mysterious chest that came from the Tree of Harmony, nor anything about keys to unlock it! But something tells me that opening it is pretty important. I hope Princess Celestia has some ideas. If the library in Canterlot doesn't have anything, I-I don't know where else to look!” She paused thoughtfully and then loudly added, very deliberately, “unless there’s a certain mare waiting to give me the book and solve me having to look!” She waited. And frowned.
“No? Okay, guess I’ll just-” At that moment, Spike threw up a scroll sent from Celestia’s own penmanship. Twilight grinned eagerly, clopping her hooves together.
“Brilliant, it’s probably Celestia telling us, ‘Twilight Sparkle, a mare calling herself your ‘old student from the future found your book for you and I’m sending it over,’ but let’s read it anyway.” She rose the parchment and scanned her eyes across it.
“My dearest Twilight,” the eldest Princess wrote, “while it would be perfectly lovely to have you in Canterlot once more, I have another option in mind much closer to Ponyville…” Twilight humfed, “Yadda yadda yadda, ancient castle… yadda yadda yadda ...mostly in ruins, deep in the Everfree Forest. But if this time pony you keep blaming for solving my lessons for you in seconds turns up, then visit the ruins anyway. For me, your ancient and proud teacher? Please, Twilight?”
Twilight Sparkle rubbed her chin contemplatively and flicked an itch from her ear, spending a whole minute considering it.
“...Oh, okay.”
~*~
“... Congratulations! You're tied!” Pinkie, the presiding judge over Rainbow and Applejack’s competition proclaimed with applause.
“Tied?” gasped Applejack.
“You can't be tied for the Most Daring Pony!” squalled Rainbow.
“I dunno! Numbers don't lie!” Pinkie slapped her book shut and winked, “I'd love to stay and keep keeping score, but I promised to help test the new school bell. I get to ring it all week, nonstop! And I don't even have to take turns, because no one else volunteered! NOT EVEN A TIME PONY!” She shrugged to the pair of them, then skipped away down the lane to her task for the day.
“Okay, no problem. We just have to come up with another daring dare… unless Starlight Glimmer is going to come along and proclaim me the winner…”
“You?” scoffed AJ, “you know as well as I she sees me as the daringest darn darer there ever was!” The pair froze, and waited for a reply to come. None came.
“She… she isn’t coming?” Asked RD in disappointment.
“Maybe,” Applejack hummed, “Maybe she just needs a little encouragement…” she looked around and spied the path into the Everfree Forest, “Right. I think I might have an idea of what we can do…”
~*~
“Um, Rarity?” Fluttershy stayed low as the huge, grizzly forest terrified her, her lapine friend Angel keeping her partially comfortable, “don't you think it's a little late in the day to be walking through the forest? It is... star-spider season, after all. Though, I'm sure you have a very good reason.”
Rarity offered her a dazzling smile and nodded encouragingly, “I've heard rumors that the Castle of the Two Sisters is filled with the most gorgeous of ancient tapestries in all of pony history! It pains me to think of those magnificent creations rotting away in those old ruins, totally unappreciated.” She stopped and turned with a hopeful expression to Fluttershy, “I require your help in borrowing one or two to bring back to the boutique where I can restore them. Maybe I'll even use the patterns as the inspiration for a new line!”
“That does sound... very important,” Fluttershy pondered, “but haven’t you, you know, waited? Checked that, um, maybe they turn up for you?”
“If you are suggesting that our ‘mutual friend’ may have a hoof in providing them for us, well, it just doesn’t seem that way. I’ve been waiting and asking an empty room for two weeks! So we shall just have to search the castle ourselves.” Fluttershy looked up to the ruins of the castle as Angel and Rarity went first, and then swore, very gently, under her breath.
~*~
That night, there were screams from the most daring ponies.
There were sobs from the fashionista and rabbit-seeking partner.
Twilight discovered Celestia and Luna’s journal about the fun and frolics they’d had in the old castle, and Pinkie discovered she could play the organ.
“I've just thought of a great idea!” Chirped Twilight to her friends once they’d all calmed down, “why don't we keep a journal, just like the royal pony sisters?”
“Brilliant idea! It will really help me with my task!” The bookshelf creaked outwards and out from behind it slipped Starlight with a backpack fused with a vacuum, clipping the nozzle behind her shoulder.
“What have you been doing this whole time, Starlight? We’ve been running around this castle all night without you!” Demanded the Princess, stomping a hoof.
“Oh, I could have told you; Twilight, you should all write a Friendship Journal, Pinkie is the Most Daring pony, Angel’s alive and Rarity, you can fix the tapestries with, oh, I don’t know, magic?”
“...But you wanted to teach us to do this one on our own, Glimmer?” Smiled Fluttershy.
“Psh! No!” She sniggered, “I had to catch the Pony of Shadows within 30 seconds. Which I did! Also, this place? Total death trap. Absolute health and safety nightmare. For shame, Twilight, for shame…” then, with a twinkle of a spinning portal, she was gone, proton pack and all.
“Most daring of all? Pinkie?” Gawped Rainbow. Pinkie shrugged with a giggle.
“I’m as surprised as the rest of you!”
There was a faint thumping from inside the trap, along with a wheedling voice that was getting on Starlight's nerves.
"Um. Excuse me. When are you going to let me out?"
"Calm down, Stygian. I've got a couple more seasons to go." Starlight Glimmer raised her soldering iron and touched up a few circuits on her latest project, which she was going to call the Spectre Trapper and Pony Releaser once it was done. "Besides, you're not really in the trap. You're actually still in Limbo, with a quasi-dimensional echo extended into this plane of existence. Hang tight and I'll have that cranky bearded grump on his knees apologizing to you shortly. Just have a couple more things to do first."
69. Daring Don't
“I can’t believe it: The real Daring Do, and the real Caballeron!” Twilight said in surprise, looking through the window of A.K. Yearling’s house as Caballeron was in the middle of accosting Daring Do with his henchponies. A smell of o-zone and the magical crack of teleportation cut through the air, however, as Starlight Glimmer arrived in the nick of time (as always).
“Seriously, Twilight? Dash? You’re that starstruck right now?” She said, lighting her horn and levitating the three henchponies in the house into the air and away from Daring Do.
Both Daring Do and Caballeron expressed surprise at the occurrence, though Daring Do was the first to take advantage of the moment. Even with her leg injured, she pushed herself into the air and used her wings to fly forward, tackling Caballeron. The golden ring flew off of his neck and out of the doorway, landing on the forest floor, where Starlight picked it up into the air.
Caballeron’s eyes were glued to it, extending a hoof to try and catch the ring to no avail. “No, my retirement!” he shouted, before Daring Do knocked her hoof hard enough into the back of his skull to knock him unconscious.
Starlight finally let the henchponies go, who fell to the floor with a heavy thud. After picking themselves up and looking at Daring Do, the new unicorn who had appeared, and their employer passed out on the floor, they quickly exited the cabin as quickly as they could (which happened to be out of two separate windows) and ran for the hills.
Daring Do occupied herself with preparing a splint for her leg, as Starlight looked to Rainbow Dash and Twilight, the latter of which was already nursing her forehead with both of her hooves.
“Dash, stop being starstruck. Daring Do is just a pony and she needs help. Don’t be an awkward egghead doofus about this.”
“Hey!” was all she could get out before Starlight walked into the house.
“And you! You should know better than to shun the help of others. You already had to get help to overcome your fears from Professor Ravenhoof in Daring Do and the Trek to the Terrifying Tower. Just accept the help of a pony like Rainbow Dash and her friends and maybe you’ll actually live through one of your books without like fourteen different injuries.”
Daring Do stared wide eyed at Starlight, and then gently rubbed her currently wounded leg. “I… Alright,” she said, sitting up and putting on her hat.
“Good. Now just listen to what her plan is, Dash. She knows what she’s doing, alright? Oh, and leave this out of the book, okay?” Starlight pulled out her journal again and lit her horn, disappearing from the house in a flash of light.
“Who was that pony?” Daring Do asked, looking to Twilight and her friends.
“Please don’t ask,” Twilight replied with a groan, dragging her hoofs across her face and then sighing. “Let’s just save Equestria or whatever.”
70. Flight to the Finish
"We've got hearts hmm hm hmm hm hmmm," Starlight half sang, half hummed as she watched Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon circle the Cutie Mark Crusaders like sharks. "Glad I got here early enough to catch the song."
As soon as the two bullies left, Starlight burst through the bushes. "Heya, Crusaders. How goes it?"
"EEP!" squeaked Sweetie Belle.
"Ugh, not you again," groaned Scootaloo. "Stop trying to fix all our problems."
"Yeah," added Apple Bloom, "It's really creepy."
Starlight smiled. "Well, girls, today I'm not going to do anything but give you some advice. Is that fair?"
Scootaloo groaned again. "Whatever. Make it quick. We have a routine to practice."
"Don't worry, I'll be done in ten seconds flat. My advice is this: Ignore Diamond Tiara and her lackey Silver Spoon. They're assholes. Ignore them and a bunch of your problems will go away. Ignore me--that is, listen to them--and you'll be riding the drama llama in no time. Got it?"
"Uh, I guess?" said Sweetie Belle. "Is that all?"
"Yep. That's all! Now you three be good fillies and do Ponyville proud! Ta-ta!"
And with a poof, she was gone.
The three looked at each other. "This is weird, right?" asked Apple Bloom.
"Yeah, it's weird," Scootaloo agreed.
71. The Power Ponies
Most mornings in Ponyville were heralded by roosters crowing at the first hooves of dawn peeking up over Canterlot Mountain. So among the things Twilight wasn’t expecting was to awaken sometime in the early gloom of pre-dawn to the sight, sound, and experience of her bedroom window in Golden Oaks Library exploding. It shattered inward as she screamed in shock, and it showered both herself and the entire room in shards of glass and splinters of wood faster than she could think to put up a force field.
Near her, in his basket on the floor, Spike barked with surprise as well. Twilight turned horror-filled eyes on him as he backpedaled out of the basket, tripping over his own claws, and pawing futilely at the gooey mess where his face should—
“Hold on,” Twilight said, realizing that she was looking at a face that had just been pied.
And that was when her instincts kicked-in, and she lit her horn, projecting out a glowing field mere heartbeats before something creamy went *SPLAT!* upon it.
“We’re made!” shouted a brown stallion Twilight didn’t recognize, who was in the middle of tucking-and-rolling across her bedroom floor toward Spike’s basket. “Do it now!”
A high-pitched whine sounded from just outside Twilight’s window. She turned her eyes again, and had just enough time to spot a somewhat familiar pale yellow mare with a two-toned pink-and-blue mane raise some kind of complicated-looking device in her hoof—
The whine suddenly jumped beyond Twilight’s ability to hear it, but just as suddenly, she found she could feel it… in her horn… which felt like it’d been struck by lightning!
Twilight tumbled out of bed, hitting the floor, clutching her horn feebly with both forehooves. Despite the pain, she forced her eyes open, and watched as the yellow mare dropped down into the room. The mare and stallion then both turned their attention on Spike’s basket.
No… on his comic book, laying next to the basket.
“Are we sure about this?” asked the stallion.
“We’ll check it for sure back at HQ,” said the mare. “Can’t be too careful where he’s involved. Go on… bag it.” Then after a moment, she added: “Board it, too. I mean it’s still a comic.”
But the two of them weren’t paying much attention to Spike, who was still stumbling about with a faceful of pie… and who, at that moment, plowed bodily into the mare’s side. She staggered, dropping the device.
It hit the floor.
It cracked.
The pain fell away in an instant, and Twilight had her horn lit before the invaders could react, clamping heavy magical bands around both of them.
“Who…” she said, levering herself back up to her hooves. “Excuse my Prench, but who in the actual buck are the two of you?!”
One of the stallion’s forehooves wasn’t quite contained in the bonds, and Twilight watched as he hastily raised something to his muzzle—
“NO!” she shouted, but it was much too late. For as the stallion bit down on the two-chambered capsule, the deadly combination of Pop Rocks and densely-concentrated Pona Cola flooded his mouth with an uncontrollable burst of fizzing and frothing. Twilight turned her head, unable—or unwilling—to watch it take its course.
“You don’t know what you’re dealing with,” said the mare.
Twilight glared at her through nascent tears. “Tell me: was it worth damaging this beautiful old library? Pieing my Number One Assistant? Forcing me to watch a pony fizzy-pop himself?!”
The mare maintained a cool, even look at Twilight, regardless of her bonds. “Yes,” she whispered. “At least, if that comic is what we think it is.”
Struggling to hold back a sob, Twilight turned her gaze downward, and spotted a stray bit of the pie that had fallen off Spike’s face. She raised it in her magic, drawing back tension, aiming it at the interloper. “Start. Talking.”
“All right. You’re a princess. Anypony else… couldn’t know. But you… they might not feed me my own bon-bons when I get back to the Agency, if I tell just you.”
A glob of cream dripped off the pie-piece. Twilight gritted her teeth.
The mare took a long breath. “My name is Special Agent Sweetie Drops. I work for an agency called S.M.I.L.E. We hunt monsters. And you… have you heard about… Humans?”
Twilight furrowed her brow. “You mean… like the mirror portal?”
“No, mirror-humans don’t come through as humans; they end up as indigenous creatures of this realm. I’m talking about real humans. Dimensional displacement. And something calling itself ‘The Merchant,’ which traps them, and sends them here.”
“And you think…” Twilight pointed at the comic. “That’s one of the tools that he uses to trap them?”
The mare nodded. “We got an anonymous tip last night. But it was very detailed, very plausible… and it came with some pretty good pizza. We couldn’t not take it seriously.”
“Pizza?!” Twilight sighed, pressing a hoof to her face. “You know, you could’ve just led with that!”
72. Bats
Darkness.
Sweet Apple Acres was cloaked in the shroud of the night, and it always took a sinister appearance when the moon was high and Luna’s trails through the land of dreams was afoot.
Through the gentle breeze that blew the apple trees, a black figure flew. It swooped, it ducked, it dived, and it feasted. A spell, they would come to think, would be the answer to why this creature came to be. An accident brought upon by a misstep in wanting to resolve a problem with a bunch of innocent, hungry, nocturnal animals. Little did they know the true cause for the apples turning up suckled into rotten pastes come day break. Little did they know of the truth.
“Fluttershy!” A voice suddenly snapped in the cool summer-night air, shortly before the bells of Ponyville struck midnight.
From the hanging black body, a pair of red eyes snapped open with a fierce glare at the confident speaker. The mass of the twilight-loving (in every sense - if the secret diaries are to be believed) being spread her wings in a show of dominance and screeched, preparing to fend off the Helsing to her Dracula, before spying something else around the potential huntress. She cried again and flapped her wings, performing an impressive dive to land before the bold pony who challenged her.
“What isssss thisssss?” she hissed, cracking her wings like a whip to a lion, expecting a violent retaliation. Instead, the pony who requested an audience with her stepped into the light of the reflecting glow of light from the satellite in the sky and smiled, placing a hoof on her shoulder in an offer of friendship.
“You see all of these bushels of apples? Help yourself,” offered the mare with a calming tone. The hybrid bat-pony version of her usually timid friend flicked a tongue over the fangs made to puncture the skins of the sugary fruits and stared, not yet trusting the horse in front of her.
“Why would you offer these so freely?” She asked defiantly, although Starlight could tell the wavering hunger was there.
“Because you turn into a different kind of animal when you’re hungry,” she proclaimed with a nod. She pushed Fluttershy, or Flutterbat as she preferred during her nighttime antics, to the bin filled to the brim with apples, and happily watched it gorge on the fruits she had brought to the mare.
“Better?” she asked, when the pastel yellow filly let out a long but satisfied belch.
“Better,” grinned Fluttershy, before squeaking and covering her mouth, “Oh… My….”
“It’s fine, don’t worry, the secret’s safe with me,” winked Glimmer, patting Flutters on her back, “for the record, the whole ‘The Stare’ thing gave the vampire thing away from the off for me, the other ponies just don’t see it unless you’re sparkling or melting because a little thing like sunlight is supposed to-” Starlight’s watch interrupted her with a beep. “Oh, right, almost time for me to go, just one last thing…”
~*~
“We’re sectioning off a space of the orchard for a bunch’o bats, sis?” Apple Bloom queried as she helped her sister set up the fencing around the trees, “Why?”
“Never ask why, Apple Bloom,” Applejack quaked as she said it, shuddering with the look of a mare haunted by post traumatic stress. “Just never tell Fluttershy no… Never ever tell her no, and never look her in the eye if you do… The Stare… the horrible, awful Stare…” Applejack lowered her hat over her eyes and kept working with maximum efficiency. Apple Bloom gasped, as she understood first hand the trauma her sister was going through, and patted her shoulder gently.
“Don’t worry, Sis,” she murmured, helping her with the task, “it wears off in a few days…”
73. Rarity Takes Manehattan
Suri Polomare giggled wickedly under her breath as she snuck away from Rarity through the dim backroom. Even in the low light, she couldn’t take her eyes off the mesmerizing swatch of fabric that Rarity had so foalishly given her. Its purple sheen rippled over the fabric’s surface, almost as if it were a living, beating heart. And Suri could feel the inspiration flowing through her, pumping with the same beat.
“Oh, it is a pleasure to be competing against you again, Rarity,” she said under her breath. “But there’s really not going to be much competition, now is there? You might’ve had a leg-up on me, but now I’ve got the element of sur—”
*WHACK!*
Suri dropped as her world exploded in pain. The swatch fell before her…
…followed by what looked like a long length of pipe. A low, echoing, vague and dim ringing sound seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere as the pipe bounced and clattered to a halt. Suri watched it come to rest, as if in a dream. She also noticed a curious warmth filling her mouth, but given how muddled her perceptions had become, she couldn’t quite pinpoint its source.
Slowly, dimly, Suri noticed pinkish-purplish face bending down to look closely at hers. It was equine… probably a mare… definitely had a horn. And it was frowning. Glowering.
“Bad pony,” it said, with an echoing voice that sounded as if it was coming from the other end of a very long tunnel. “You think about what you’ve done. Or were going to do. Good ponies don’t steal each other’s fashion lines!”
Suri was tempted to protest that good ponies didn’t jump each other with lengths of pipe either, but before she could speak, there was a sudden BANG! and a flash of light. She blinked several times, trying to clear her vision.
Eventually, she noticed that the pony was gone. A pizza box seemed to have taken its place.
“Coco?” Suri called. “Coco… little help here?”
74. Pinkie Apple Pie
“I suppose we could always…” Applejack began. “I mean Goldie Delicious doesn’t live all that far away… And we haven’t been on one as a family in a real long time—”
Granny Smith, Apple Bloom, and Big Mac all smiled like it was the end of harvest season and Applejack had done all the work again. She’d clearly just had a brilliant idea—well maybe not brilliant, but they all knew it meant getting out of the Sweet Apple Acres Honest Labor Camp for at least a day.
Pinkie Pie smiled, too! She had no idea what she was smiling about, but she wanted so much to be a part of the Apple family, and apparently smiling like a maniac was a membership requirement and she had a lot of practice at that!
And then her tail twitched. And her right hind hoof shook like mad. And she felt a warmth under her tummy, which was probably just lunch because you know how chimicherrychangas with ghost chilis always do that when you eat the chilis first and maybe she should blend those in next time and it might be a good idea to not eat the whole bag at one shot anyway but where’s the fun in that?
“Are y’all thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?” Applejack asked. Granny and the Apple siblings all took a deep breath and shouted triumphantly.
“Road trip!”
Pinkie Pie let loose a blood-curdling scream and launched herself into the air.
At that instant a flash of light like a new star blinded everypony. When their eyesight finally returned, the Apple family witnessed Pinkie Pie trying to strangle to death a now-familiar unicorn.
For Applejack, asphyxiating that particular unicorn couldn’t happen fast enough. “You!” she cried, pointing an accusing hoof.
“Hiya, Glimmy!” Pinkie Pie screamed happily as she enthusiastically glomped Starlight.
“PINKIE, AIR!” Starlight squeaked, then she coughed and sucked in a heaving breath as Pinkie released her.
“Oops! Sorry! Sorry, everypony, I just get so carried away,” Pinkie said. “Ooooooh! Is that for me?”
“Yes,” the unicorn coughed out, and hoofed over the banjo she’d been holding. “Take this—you’re going to need it.”
Then Starlight turned to see the confused (or in Applejack’s case, hostile) faces of the Apple family, and made an Important Announcement.
“I am here to chew bubblegum and solve a friendship problem. And I’m all out of bubblegum.” She casually swatted away Pinkie Pie’s instant offering of bubblegum and whipped out an old, well-used tome that unfortunately smelled exactly like a used cat-box.
“I have literally risked death by leopard and an avalanche of garbage and cat dander to get this out of your cousin Goldie Delicious’s mad cat-house emporium. So I saved all of you from that and a host of future problems that you would have inflicted on yourselves, like—”
“—criminal child endangerment,” she said, glaring at each of the adults in turn.
“—catastrophic failure of the family wagon because somepony overloaded it,” she added, looking right at Big Mac.
“—throwing the map to Goldie’s cabin into the river.” Apple Bloom stared back in surprise.
“—steering the family through the Scariest Cave in Equestria, where eldritch abominations tried to sell you their religion.” Starlight stared at Granny Smith.
Finally her gaze turned to Applejack.
“—and last but not least, taking the entire family over a waterfall! Sheesh! You’d think all of you were Cutie Mark Crusaders.” Starlight winked at Apple Bloom. “No offense, kid.”
“Seems fair to me!” Apple Bloom said cheerfully.
The Apple adults all knew they’d never done any of these things, but they looked off in embarrassment because it all sounded exactly like something they would do.
“But I’m here to save you from all of that. You all really love Pinkie Pie and want so much for her to be a part of your family. And best of all, Pinkie Pie probably is related to the Apples.”
She tossed the tome down in front of everypony and flipped it open to the critical-but-smudged entry. Then she cast Red Ink’s Plot Complication Clarifier on the book, revealing clear proof that Pinkie Pie was almost certainly kinda-maybe related to the Apple family by a dubious connection of three different species and at least four generations of kissing cousins—because really, who wasn’t related to the Apples in that case?
Everypony gasped as they realized that Pinkie Pie was truly One of Us.
“So, there you go!” Starlight said, looking at her watch. “You’re probably all a match made in Tartarus—” Applejack looked up from the genealogy tome and growled at Starlight. “—but clearly the family that doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Y’all discuss. Bye now!”
Applejack stomped her hoof and shouted as the unicorn departed with a flash.
“Y’all don’t come back, now! Ya hear?”
A moment later, Pinkie Pie looked up and smiled just as Starlight re-appeared right in front of a startled Applejack—wearing Pinkie Pie’s Groucho mask and holding a horn with a rubber squeeze ball. Before Applejack could react, Starlight booped her on the nose and honked the horn, and flashed away again for the last time.
Pinkie Pie screamed again and fell over. It was a few seconds before everypony realized that she was probably dying of laughter, and Applejack stared in awe as Pinkie started turning blue.
“Um, Big Mac—I think that unicorn may have just tried to murder our new cousin,” she finally said. She tried to hide her smile beneath a frown at Starlight, but didn’t quite manage it.
“Eeyup,” her big brother replied, watching as Pinkie Pie struggled to stop laughing and get her breath back. He raised a big bucket of water that hadn’t been there a moment ago. “Fair’s fair, I guess.”
75: Rainbow Falls
Soarin really had nothing to worry about as he fell to his death; none other than Rainbow Dash was there to save him. He had been worrying anyway, numerous pies he'd eaten flashing before his eyes, but he was also enough of a dumbass to slam into a hoop post while ogling the cheerleaders, so what do you want?
But, deserving or not, he was saved and quickly on the ground next to Rainbow, as teammates and friends cheered the daring midair rescue.
"Awethum!" said Fleetfoot.
"As good as any Wonderbolt," said Spitfire, absolutely dripping foreshadowing.
Some other ponies said some things that didn't matter.
"My wing hurts," said dumb ol' Clipper. That definitely mattered. Not having hurt wings was like, super important if you wanted to do Equestria Games stuff.
"I'm sure it'll be okay by the competition," he said, convincing literally nopony with his words.
VZZT VWRP BOING
All present turned at the series of bizarre sound effects to see a pink unicorn mare extruding from the aether.
"Starlight!?" Twilight interrobanged, with that adorable screwed-up expression that meant she really did not approve of, let alone understand, what was going on at the moment.
"If I may," said Starlight, striding into the company of ponies as the medic pulled a mobile stretcher up.
"Soarin's only sprained his wing," she said, pointing to him as he was helped onto the stretcher. "He just needs a little rest, but he'll be able to help the Cloudsdale team qualify for the relay. No worries."
She pointed at Rainbow Dash. "This one, meanwhile, would of course kill for a chance to fly with her heroes. That'd be you two, by the way," she asided to Spitfire and Fleetfoot. "But she also doesn't want to let her Ponyville friends down by ditching them for you. If you all practice together, that would help things, but I imagine there are rules or regulations or something that you all care about, so my goal here is just to air everyone's dirty laundry so there's no drama. Speaking of which..."
Starlight zipped over to Fleetfoot and put an arm around her shoulder. "You could stand to be less of a stuck-up, arrogant bitch..."
"Hey!" Fleetfoot tried to take a swing at the unicorn but was too slow to make contact. She teleported atop Spitfire, who yelped and tried to shake her off.
"You could stand to actually be a leader once in a while and keep your subordinates, y'know, subordinate--"
Lastly, Starlight teleported right up next to Rainbow Dash and whispered in her ear. "And you could stand to realize that she--" she nodded to Fluttershy, who was trying really hard to seem like she wasn't both intrigued by and afraid of everything happening at the moment-- "is doing all this for you, dude!" She socked Rainbow in the shoulder. "That kind of devotion doesn't come around every day, don't let it go to waste!"
"Your friends from Ponyville aren't going to begrudge you taking an opportunity to show off for your heroes." Starlight smiled. "You don't have to win in this competition, just qualify. So lighten the heck up." She punctuated the last few words by socking Rainbow in the shoulder some more. It was almost enough to hurt.
"Oh! And one more thing..."
Starlight's horn lit with magic, and for a moment, everypony looked every which way, as nothing seemed to be happening. Then, at the back of the group, Applejack cried, "Mah apple brown betties!"
She was summarily coated in a mountain of apple-filled pastries.
"Nopony freaking cares, Applejack!" Starlight yelled. She waved at all and sundry, smiling as though she hadn't been livid just a moment ago.
"Okay, that's it, everypony have fun at the Games, probably see you then, love you, kisses, byeee!"
And the time-space continuum sucked her up like the aforementioned fruit through the aforementioned orifice.
76. Three's a Crowd
As Twilight Sparkle read the letter Spike had delivered, she practically vibrated with excitement. Things were going perfectly, and she couldn't wait for the fun to begin. She had a list and-
"WAT" went reality, as Starlight Glimmer stepped out of a portal in time.
"Okay, Twilight, I know you're all set for that great time you're going to have with your Best Friend Sister In Law or whatever you call Cadance, so here's some things that'll help you get to actually have a good time with her." With that, she slammed a small bottle of over the counter cold medicine on the table nearby, along with a post-it-note. "Discord is faking it, and he's going to try and 'test your friendship' by sending you and Cadance off for some miracle cure."
Licking her lips in a subconscious nervous tick and looking off to the side, Twilight mouthed 'friendship test' to herself.
Wacking her with a rolled up newspaper, Starlight grunted in frustration. "No, bad Twilight. Those are bad, and you should feel bad for thinking it is a good idea. Anyways, he really will be sick in a day or so. Give him the pills, instructions are on the side. Also, the note is for Cadance, since she's bored at home. Read it if you can't help your curiosity, but be warned: your young and nubile senses may be offended by what it says." Starlight narrowed her eyes, glaring at Twilight. "In other words, don't be nosy."
With a sucking sound that echoed on several planes of existence at once, the unicorn allowed herself to be pulled back out of the current time space.
Unable to help himself, Spike, who had witnessed the whole episode with mouth gaping in shock, leaned over the table and read the note.
"Why would Cadance need escorts while on a swing set? Doesn't she already have guards? I don't get it."
For a moment, Twilight remained confused. However, she would, moments later, piece the details together with traumatizing effect. As Twilight's eyes widened to dinner plates and pupils narrowed to pinpricks, an extremely high whine started to emanate from her throat that would be roughly the same level as a dog whistle. It would be several hours before the local dogs would settle down from the piercing wail.
77. Pinkie Pride
Cheese Sandwich was finally satisfied with is work in Appleloosa, creating a party that brought the natives and the settlers together in harmony. However, he felt a new call, a doozy of one, for Ponyville. Just then, however, another sense came over him. “I just had the strangest sensation, Boneless,” he said to his inanimate friend, in a deep and serious tone, “one I’m not too familiar with. If I had to guess, I’d bet that somepony just teleported nearby and they want to…” In uncertainty, he was forced to drop his gruff facade. “...sell me something? Maybe an encyclopedia? You know I used to edit encyclopedias-”
“Hi there!” A voice came suddenly. Indeed, it had been a unicorn, a pink one. Though not pink like the Pink he remembered. Not pink like- “Are you thinking about Pinkie Pie? Maybe going to Ponyville for a visit?”
“How’d you know?” Cheese asked. Realizing he let his guard down, he returned to his gruff monotone to ask, “I mean… I’ve met others before with unusual senses, my little pony, even those who use the force they say, but never a mind reader. What do you know about Pinkie Pie?”
“I know that she’d really like to know what an inspiration she’s been to you. You should just tell her. You’ll have a much easier time collaborating if you’re up front about your feelings.”
“How do you-” he broke his monotone, “wait, collaborate? With her? On a party? She wants to, with me, you think?”
“Oh yeah, totally. Just try not to show off.”
That was the least of his doubts. “Okay, but, really how do you know all of this?”
“That’s not important,” Glimmer evaded the question. “Anyways, I gotta be going.”
“Oh, okay, see you later.” She left in a flash of light, leaving Cheese alone with only Boneless again. “Well, Boneless, I wished we wouldn’t have to break out this stuff again, but you just can’t be safe without it.” Before moving on, Cheese lined his cowboy hat with aluminum foil.
78. Simple Ways
“I've seen a lot in my travels, but I've never beheld such beauty. Applejack... The pony of my dreams…” Trenderhoof almost went head-over-hooves for the orange mare that was in his sights. Rarity, standing beside the stallion that had unknowingly taken her heart out and stepped on it, while making sure to rub some salt in her wound, could only stare aghast at what he had said.
“I-I see… Well, then.” The white mare tried hard not to cry as Trenderhoof let out a small sigh while watching Applejack work. Said mare was oblivious as she bucked another tree in preparation for the upcoming festival.
Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light as that Mystery mare once again stepped out, dusting some black soot off her shoulder. “Little too quick this time I guess... Anyways” Starlight trotted right up to Trenderhoof, wrapping a hoof around his neck like a college fratcolt. “Helloooo Trendy!~ You don’t know me, but I know you! I’m sure you get that a lot, but whatever.” Rarity herself was now utterly peeved. This mare just had to show up again. She grumbled and ground her teeth as Starlight pulled the stallion in a bit closer.
“See that mare over there? That’s my friend. Well, not yet anyways. But she’s got a heart of gold and she won’t tell you to just leave her alone when you annoy her. So, I’ll have to do it for you!” She then leaned in real close and gave a crooked grin. “So, I will say this once. And only, once. If you don’t leave that mare alone, you won’t have to worry about me. Oh no. You’ll have to worry about him.” Pointing with a hoof, the three ponies looked to see Big Mac stacking a few barrels onto a trailer.
The sweater-wearing stallion went wide-eyed as Big Mac wiped his brow of sweat, taking a big drink from his canteen. There was a few moments before Trenderhoof wordlessly walked out of Starlight’s grasp and over to the large red stallion. Rarity and Starlight looked at each other for a moment, before looking back.
The two stallions were already in a deep conversation, unbefitting of the incredibly shy Big Mac. “Well…” Rarity began.
“I uh, yep.” Starlight finished, unsure how to process what just happened.
They both looked at each other before Rarity let out a sigh. “Never speak of this again?”
“Agreed.” Starlight nodded.
With a slight bow, Rarity took her leave. Looking very, confused to say the least. “Well, at least somepony got a happy ending. Onto the next!” Pulling out the Friendship Journal, Starlight opened another time hole and stepped inside. “And I have just the thing in mind!” Just like how she arrived, in a flash of light, she was gone.
79. Filli Vanilli
A flash of blue light and none other than Starlight Glimmer appears at Sweet Apple Acres without a moment to spare! It’s the day before the Ponytones’ big performance and it is this evening that she must spring into action! In the distance, she spots Applejack, Big Mac, and Applebloom setting up the annual turkey-calling contest. Knowing that Big Mac will lose, Starlight had picked the perfect time to fix this issue before it even starts!
With another cast of her magic, she teleports into the Sweet Apple Acres main barn, and not a second too soon! Big Mac enters, searching for the remaining tables and such that’re needed for the event. Adorning her best entrancing look possible in her current state, she appears from behind a stack of hay bales.
“Well, hello there, Big Mac.” Starlight’s voice doesn’t quite hit exactly the kind of allure she was aiming for, but it seemed to surprise Big Mac.
“Why’re you in my barn?” Big Mac is obviously confused as to why there’s a trespasser on the property. The sound of this unicorn’s voice made him a bit nervous, though. The same kind of nervousness that he got around Cheerilee that one time on Hearts and Hooves day.
“Oh, don’t you worry about that. All you need to know is that I know what kind of big, strong, stallion you are, and that you don’t need to worry yourself with some silly contest.” Starlight steps closer every few words, and is now inches away from Big Macintosh’s neck. She gives a few swishes of her tail to accentuate the tone she wishes to convey.
“What you should be worried about is conquest.” She steps around Big Mac, swishing her tail under his muzzle. “The same kind you entertained that School Teacher with, if I’m not mistaken.”
This made Big Mac gulp and begin to sweat profusely. It must’ve been that midday air getting warmer as the sun went down. “Y-yup…” He let out, exhaling a heavy breath before following Starlight to the back of the barn.
With that, Big Mac would never lose his voice for the performance the next day, and Fluttershy doesn’t have to have another failed attempt at overcoming her inability to perform to a crowd. Starlight got some rest and relaxation along with completing her task.
80. Twilight Time
Sweetie Belle seethed with anger. "Oh yeah?! Well we don't need to go anywhere to hang out with famous ponies all the time!"
Just as she was about to continue, a whistling sound was suddenly interrupted by two thuds as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon collapsed on the floor, twitching for a few seconds before falling unconscious.
"Oh no…" Apple Bloom said, eyes wide. "This can only mean—"
"Hi girls!" Starlight Glimmer said, emerging from the bushes and surreptitiously hiding something behind her back. "Funny to see you here!"
"Starlight," Scootaloo started to say, only for the mare to raise her hoof.
"Nonono, I'm just here to say that telling those two about your private, tutoring time with Princess Twilight might not be the best idea. Why, they might follow you around, create a big, big mob just to hang on to you and benefit from your contacts and let's be honest, no one likes social climbers."
She smiled.
"So… you're saying we should keep quiet and enjoy the advantages we have without shoving them in other pony's faces for recognition?" Sweetie asked, hesitantly glancing at the unconscious fillies.
"Well done, Sweetie! I have to say, you're a lot less dense than Rarity says you are."
"Hey!"
"Make sure to write to the Princess about your lesson!" Starlight said as way of goodbye before dematerializing in a magical whirlwind.
The three fillies glanced at each other.
"Huh." Apple Bloom said.
"Huh." Scootaloo agreed.
They started walking away.
After a second, Sweetie joined them. "I'm not really dense, am I?"
81. It Ain’t Easy Being Breezie
“Is this racist?” squeakled the breezie version of Starlight Glimmer, “I feel like this is racist.”
“It’s almost certainly racist!” growled Seabreeze furiously, his legs flailing at the creature who just appeared shortly after the wind knocked his beetle-sized comrades and he off of course. Fluttershy had saved them from being tossed into oblivion, but now they were far behind the rest of their race.
“You’re an oddly familiar little…” began Fluttershy, before gasping in awe, “Starlight Glimmer? That’s you, isn’t it?”
“This is disgusting,” commented Seabreeze, floating around Glim-Breezie and shaking his head, “we do not even remotely look like that!”
“I know, I know, it’s awkward for me too, but trust me, it’s for a good reason…” and then she retrieved the rolled up newspaper she had stored under one leg. Immediately, she flew to the closest Breezie snuggling up to Fluttershy, and gave it a whack on the snout.
“Lazy!” she commented with a deep frown. Instantly she zoomed across to the next, and repeated the action, to a horrified cry from Fluttershy.
“Sloth!” She was moving to the next before she could be stopped. Whap!
“Indolence!”
“Starlight Glimmer, stop! What are you doing?” wailed ‘Shy, genuine tears pooling in her eyes at the mishandling of her new friends.
“Teaching them a lesson! A friendship lesson!” every breezie got a taste of the shrunken newspaper, except for Seabreeze. Despite this, he still looked deeply offended.
“This is how ponies treat breezies? This is almost certainly a declaration of war!”
“No, look, I’m going to do it to my own kind too…” Starlight the Breezie finished her assault with a slap of the broadsheet to Fluttershy’s nose, creating a small yelp from the caretaker. “That’s for forgetting all the hard work you’ve put into not being such a pushover! These little guys-”
“Mocking our height now?” squeaked Seabreeze furiously.
“-are tougher than they look.” Glimmer gave Seabreeze a firm, wistful expression, “they need to listen to Seabreeze and go home, otherwise they’ll get clingy and complacent.” She flew up between Fluttershy’s eyes and crossed her forelegs, the light catching through her wings. It refracted, beaming into the mare’s pupils, creating the most wonderous glow of colored lights.
“Oh… Oh um… I see… You’re right! Breezies, come on now. It’s time to go home. Let me just ask Rainbow if she’ll make the breeze one more time.” The pegasus gave a thankful smile to Starlight Glimmer, knowing she would not be there when she returned, and glided away to locate her friend.
“I…” Seabreeze began, but the purple mare waved a hoof, gesturing to a sudden circle of magic appearing behind her.
“Sorry, I have to go, I really couldn’t find a pizza shop willing to make a pizza small enough without charging a small fortune for it. Apologies again for-” She quickly gestured to herself, then started for the portal.
“Wait!” Seabreeze dove to the ground, searching, and soon came back with what he’d been looking for. A particularly pretty flower. “Thank you.” Starlight took it with a blink and wiggled her breezie-antenna.
“I’d say pass it on to Fluttershy buuuuut, it saves time if I just keep it. Thanks, Mr. Seabreeze!” She grinned with a salute and performed a quick loop-dee-loop before diving into her magical portal, disappearing with a pop!
“Still highly racist though,” Seabreeze sighed, shaking his head disappointedly.
82. Somepony To Watch Over Me
It took every ounce of Starlight Glimmer's willpower not to give into her cravings as she hid inside Applejack's fully stocked pie cart. But, as usual, she was on a mission, and she had to stay focused.
"Sorry, Big Mac," Starlight heard Applejack say as the latter pulled the cart, "I was just fretting a bit about Apple Bloom. You think she's gonna be okay on her own?"
"Eeeeyup," Big Mac said.
"I just keep thinking of things I forgot to put on her list. Like, I didn't write down that if she wants to get a spoon out of the drawer, she needs to open the drawer first." Applejack sighed. "I know I'm probably just bein' silly."
Big Mac's second "eeeeyup" was timed perfectly with Starlight's facehoof. It was worse than even the Journal had told her. Heck, if anything, the Journal had sugar-coated Applejack's doting tendencies towards her sister. It hadn't been the first time she'd run into this, in the past or the present. There had to be a better way.
"But I know I'd feel a heap better if I could check on Apple Bloom one last time."
And there it was. An idea flashed in Starlight's mind.
"Boy, are you in luck!" Starlight said, popping out of the cart and rolling in front of Applejack. Applejack and Big Mac stopped short, startled.
"S-Starlight Glimmer?" Applejack sputtered. "Wh-... what in blue blazes are you doing here?"
"Stopping problems before they start, as usual," Starlight said with a cocksure grin. "You're thinking of doubling back, aren't you? What about this delivery of scrumptious pies you're supposed to be delivering?"
"I know these pies are important, but family's more—" Applejack peered closer at Starlight's muzzle. "Hold on. You been takin' samples?"
Starlight blinked, wiped the edge of her muzzle, looked at it, saw the small piece of the one pie she'd succumbed to eating, and licked it. She savored the taste of sugar, fruit and soft, flaky crust, and sighed, floating in bliss for several moments.
"No," she said, with a straight face. "Anyway, the point is, I saw what you're going to do, and I raise you a better solution." Starlight willed a hoof-held mirror into existence. "All you have to do is grab on to this magic mirror, and it'll show you what's going on at home. You can check in on Apple Bloom any time you want, without having to go back."
"Well... magic makes me uneasy, but it sure does beat makin' multiple trips." Applejack took the mirror from Starlight, and looked into it. For the first few seconds, she saw only her reflection.
Then the mirror swirled to life, showing the Sweet Apple Acres household.
~
"Boy howdy! I sure do love followin' the rules of my house like my big sister Applejack—who I love and treasure—taught me!" Apple Bloom said, as she washed the walls with a sponge. "This place'll be spic and span by the time she gets back, and I'll have been so well behaved the entire time!"
"Don't forget, you'll be tooooooootally safe, too!" Scootaloo said, tidying various knick-knacks around the living room. "Because that's just the kind of fillies we are!"
"I'm lining the chairs and stairs with pillows so we don't hurt ourselves!" Sweetie Belle said, doing just that.
"That's the spirit! Thanks, girls!" Apple Bloom said. "I don't know what I'd do without fun, safe friends like you!"
~
Applejack blinked several times. "It's... its perfect! It's..." She relaxed. "This is seriously everything I was hopin' for."
"You gotta be kidding m—" Starlight did a double-take. "I-I mean, of course! What did you expect?"
"To be honest? I expected... well, I expected a total mess! I always get worried about my lil' sis, Starlight. You have no idea. After our parents... you know, I... I only barely remember what they were like, and what I do know comes mainly from Granny Smith." Applejack brought her hat down to her heart. "It's all I can do to follow their example."
"Y-yeah," Starlight said, her heart suddenly twisting in knots. "I... I guess I can see that."
Applejack looked back in the mirror. "But yeah, if this is what it's like, I guess it's okay. Can I... can I keep this?"
"Of course!" Starlight said, waving as Applejack and Big Mac started hauling their carts again. "Get on outta here, you crazy kids!"
~
Once they were out of sight, Starlight teleported back to Sweet Apple Acres.
Apple Bloom ran up to her expectantly, with her other two friends beside her. Didja do it? Didja? Huh?" they all asked.
Starlight beamed. "Sure did! You're in the clear to have all the fun you want, all by yourselves!"
Five minutes later, after the CMCs were done whooping and cheering, Apple Bloom asked, "How'd you do it? How'd you convince her to keep trusting me?"
"Oh, just one of my side spell projects," Starlight said with a humble chuckle. "The Desire Mirror shows whoever looks into it exactly what they want to see. Involves some mild mind manipulation, light hypnosis—"
Apple Bloom's eyebrows shot up. "You messed with my sister's mind?"
"Look, do you want to stay home alone or not? Because she's not going to stop with this until she gets it out of her system. Just look at this as a form of... therapy. Yeah, that's it. Totally harmless, I promise. Plus, in Applejack's case..." Starlight thought back to Applejack's speech, and sobered. "...probably more of a mercy than anything."
Apple Bloom stared at Starlight, quietly, for a long time, before finally saying, "I'm gonna go play with my friends now. Before I find out somethin' I don't wanna."
"That's a perfect plan! You do that. Oh, and, uh, here's a stepstool for the fridge," she said, materializing one into existence.
Apple Bloom stared at it blankly. "What for the what now?"
"Just trust me on this one," Starlight said, before vanishing without a trace.
83. Maud Pie
“I can't wait for you all to meet her,” whinnied the pinkest, most party-friendly and bat-screech crazy pony ever to walk the face of Equestria. “I just know that my best Ponyville friends and my best sister friend are gonna become bestest friends! We can make bestest-est friend rock candy necklaces together!”
Pinkie, bespectacled with a pair of safety goggles and garnished with a tall toque blanche, squealed and cantered on the spot with glee.
“She expresses herself through fashion just like Rarity,” she explained, roping the beautiful mare in for a squeezing hug (no pony noticed the jealous snort from Applejack except Gummy, and he told nopony), “and she's really smart and loves reading just like Twilight!” In came Twilight to make this squeeze a threesome, “And she's honest,” Applejack went far too willingly into the quadruple hug, “and loves forest things,” Fluttershy flailed, but an escape artist, she was not, “and is good at games,” Rainbow’s attempt to dash was unsuccessful, due to the long tail she refused to trim, “and... Well, oh, she's awesome!”
The cuddled orgy groaned as Pinkie’s impossibly physical-stretch-defying legs clung to them. Rarity, noticing Applejack’s dark stares at how close her pretty little mouth was to Pinkie’s, piped up, ”she sounds amazing, darling, but won't she start worrying if you aren't at the train station when she gets here?”
“She sure will,” the main touchy-feelie pony said agreeably. It took a very long second for the realisation to kick in, but then she gasped in terror when it did. “I gotta get out of here!” With the strength of thirty Mr. Smiths, she threw the other five friends out of her grasp and across the room, before summoning the speed of the One within her and zipping out of the room fast enough to make the Matrix glitch.
“Coulda just said, ‘gotta go, see y’all later,’ instead of tossin’ us like some rag dolls,” grumped AJ, dusting herself off.
“This is Pinkie Pie, she doesn’t do ‘conventional’,” added Rainbow Dash.
“That’s a big word for you, Dashie,” chuckled Starlight, perched atop the mountain of rock candy.
“I heard some ponies say it one time and I always wanted to sound more like an egghe- HEY! When did you get here!”
“Long enough ago to give you all a few game plans!” she offered helpfully, then glanced to Rarity and Applejack, “no, game plans, not… nevermind. Maud Pie! You’re about to meet her and Pinkie’s all stoked about this because she thinks you’re going to hit it off. Spoiler alert - she’s a rock-loving goth-in-denial and its kind of odd but she makes it work.” Starlight took a candy and chomped on it as she checked they were all following her so far. Her eye twitched at the crack in her mouth and she quickly checked her tooth was unharmed.
“Phew. Anyway, you don’t share that much in common and you each emote far more than she has the capable range of but you all have one common love. I’ve still got time, so I’m going to let you guess. Twilight?”
“Um, Books?” offered the Princess. Starlight frowned.
“You’re supposed to be the smart one! Rainbow?”
“Pinkie said games so I guess-” Dash shrugged, and received a blown raspberry from Glimmer.
“No! Applejack, please tell me you figured this out…”
“Honesty! Th’ girl loves an honest mare!” Applejack beamed with pride.
“NO! Come on guys, I’m not mad but I’m severely disappointed,” Starlight tapped an impatient hoof, “PINKIE PIE. You all love Pinkie, that’s the common ground.”
“Pinkie Pie,” parroted Rarity quickly, “I was going to say Pinkie Pie, darling, you just didn’t get around to me.” Yet, her eyes darted more than a lying Applejack’s would. It must have been a habit she picked up from spending so much time with the cowmare…
“If you all work with Maud to make Pinkie happy, this whole thing is going to go like a dream,” Glimmer prepared for her exit and sauntered backwards towards the appearing temporary hole in the fabric of space and time, “and don’t question Boulder. We all need to get our ‘rocks’ off now and again. Get it? Rocks?” The giggles followed her all the way into the wormhole, before it faded with an echo as the doorway closed. The group looked amongst each other and Twilight frowned.
“She’s right. We ARE getting lazy… I’m going to go read a ton of books before Maud Pie gets here…”
84. For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils
Starlight let out a sigh as the swirling lights of the space time continuum continued to circle her. “Now, which lesson is next?” The light purple mare, hoofed through the large journal at a rapid rate, her eyes scanning the pages that could put Twilight to shame. “Aha! There you are! Right… Blah blah, Sweetie Belle being an ungrateful little… Alright. No matter, this won’t take long.” With a trademarked grin, the unicorn mare sailed into an open hole and back to another time.
And tumbled right out of Rarity’s closet. Groaning in pain as a large black object bounced off her head, and into the room. The older unicorn sitting in the lone chair, promptly let out a squeal of surprise. Before passing out dramatically, onto a couch she just so happened to pull out before she even closed her eyes. Why did I pick this place? Whatever. Shaking her head clear, the slightly woozy pony got to her hooves. After a quick dust off, she noticed the filly poking the object that had fallen onto her head.
“What is this?”
Eyes wide and her muzzle scrunched, Starlight picked it up and quickly threw it out the nearest window. “Nothing! Don’t worry about it. Shut up. Anyways, I’ve come for you Sweetie Belle.” With a grand sweep of her hoof into the air, and no fanfare to follow, Starlight cleared her throat. “Tough crowd, right, anyways. You need to leave your sister alone. She’s busy, very busy and you should have told her weeks ago.” Taking the three “dresses” off the rack where they hung, Starlight struggled to keep her lunch down as her eyes took in the optical abomination that were these….. Things.
“Don’t quit your day job.” A quick fire spell, and the rags burned to ash before Sweetie Belle’s eyes. The little filly let out a loud gasp before screeching loud enough to shatter Rarity’s mirror. Covering her ears in vain to protect them from the girls scream, Starlight shoved her hoof into the white pony’s mouth. “Would you just listen for a second?! Sweet Celestia kid…”
Sweetie Belle spat out the foul tasting hoof that tasted like dirt. “You just ruined my costumes! How could you?!” Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.
The older mare frowns. “Trust me, I’m doing you a favour. Now, go get your friends, get more fabric, and try again. This time, under the careful guidance of your sister.” Her magic gathered a few rolls of fabric, some thread and a measuring tape and thrusting it into the forearms of the filly.
“B-but...”
“No buts! Or so help me Faust, you’ll end up like Scootaloo.” Starlight pointed from her eyes, to the fillies before a bright flash of light filled the room and she was gone.
85. Leap of Faith
The good ol’ Element of Honesty was baffled by her recent discovery.
The Flim-Flam brothers were back in Ponyville; not only selling a shady tonic but putting on such a believable performance with Silver Shill, their “healed cripple”, that it had convinced Granny Smith the green algae in a bottle could cure her of entirely everything. Of course, it had all been a ruse; the pony they mended was a mere performer on their payroll who repeated the ‘miracle’ night and day to every new audience.
Unfortunately, the fact remained that Granny was a happier pony with the fake tonic, and the Flim-Flams were enjoying convincing Applejack she was in the wrong for questioning her grand matriarch’s joy.
“Do you really want to be the pony who takes all that happiness away?” Flam finished.
“Of course you don’t!” cried a voice that was all too familiar to Applejack, “but I do!”
“Trixie?”
“Snugaboo?” whimpered Flam
“Aye! The Great and Powerful Trixie has returned with her great and time-trotting friend to get her revenge!” The pale blue sorceress stepped out of the shadows with a levitating table and four bottles of the magical elixir the Flim-Flam Bros & co were peddling, A second pony hurtled out of the dark from beside her towards Applejack.
“Who in tarnation? Twilight? That you?” yelped the cowmare. Trixie paused, blinking over at her comrade.
“Why does Applejack not recognise you by now, Starlight?”
“Time stuff,” explained Starlight hastily, waving her hoof regardlessly, “according to Twilight’s books, it’s not a straight line, it’s more like a messy scribble. Sometimes they recognise me, sometimes they don’t. It’s complicated and I’m really wasting the-” she stopped as she looked at her watch. It was already well over thirty seconds. She gave a long sigh.
“I’ll come back and redo this entry another day, but for now…” she ignited her horn, creating a steaming hot pizza box for Applejack, giving a smile, “let’s just enjoy the Great and Powerful Trixie show.”
“I- uh... “ the eldest farm girl looked on at the discomfort on the Flim-Flam faces and smirked, opening the box, “whatever you say, future Twilight. Love the mane, Sugarcube.” She stuffed a pizza slice in her muzzle and munched as Starlight corrected her. Trixie slammed the table down before the boys, prowling around it like a tigeress enticing her meal to make things interesting.
“You broke Trixie’s heart, Flam Scam, and you are a no good peeping tom, Flim Skim.” She arranged all four bottles on the table and spun them enchantedly until each pony had a bottle, with one spare. “The game is simple! Yakyakistan Roulette! Three of these bottles are your phony-shoomony tonic, but one has an added ingredient that will give you a lot more ‘get up and go’ than Granny Smith!”
“Ridiculous!” snapped Flim, “We simply won’t play!”
“Snugaboo?” gurgled Flam pitifully.
“Ah, but if you don’t, then the Loud and Shameless Trixie will confess all! For instance, Applejack, did you know Flam has a particular interest in dressing up in diapers and-”
“Dangit, I don’t wanna know!” wailed the mare, trying to cover her ears with pizza.
“Alright! Alright, we’ll play,” growled Flim as Trixie snatched Silver Shill and positioned the shaking stallion at the last bottle, “but before we do, we want your word that if we win, this menacing stops here, Trixie!”
“Done, and done,” nodded Trixie, and grabbed her bottle. The others copied, and as they did, Silver yelped.
“Wait! Before I do this, I have to speak the truth.” He spun to the pizza-laden mare. As he did so, Flim swiftly exchanged Flam’s bottle for Trixie’s and sneered.
“Seeing this crazy unicorn dare to admit to dating somepony with such odd fetishes,” gestured Silver, “well, that made me realise I’ve been misleading ponies into believing something that just wasn’t true. I should never have taken this bit from my first sale as a dishonest pony.” He took out a gold coin and put it on the table with a sigh, before returning to the game. As he turned, the light of the incandescent lights reflected through Silver’s bottle and into Applejack’s eyes, momentarily blinding her. As her sight returned, a odd rainbow shone over her pupils.
“You’re right… I’m gonna tell everypony!” Applejack started for the door, only to be stopped by the magician mare firing a bolt of fireworks into the air.
“LESS-TALKING-MORE-DRINKING!” she roared, then tossed back her drank with gusto. The stallions looked around and drank too. Four empty clanks announced fate had entered the game. A few tense seconds passed.
Flim applauded, “Too bad, Trixie, looks like you-” Gurgle. he looked to his stomach in shock, then yelped in horror as it growled ferociously.
“But… I…” he never finished his sentence, forced instead to run for relief. A second guttural rumble reverberated between them.
“Snugaboo!” howled Flam, before he too was running to the nearest lavatory.
“W-Well, I guess that leaves us two... “ Silver Shill collected his coin, looked to it nervously then held it out to Applejack.
“I want you to-” grrrrrowl went his guts, “Oh, sweet Celestia, have mercy!” Off he galloped, leaving the bit in the orange pony’s confused hoof.
“EVERY BOTTLE HAD A LAXATIVE! THAT WILL TEACH YOU, FLIM FLAM BROTHERS!” laughed Trixie manically. Starlight blinked uncomfortably at her.
“Even yours?” she asked.
“EVEN MINE! Luckily, my wonderful friend surely knows a spell to stop the effects of a…” She faltered when Glimmer shook her head. “No? Oh dear...” burble!
“I need to get her home, fast,” Starlight patted Applejack’s shoulder, “You got this, right? Good. Bye, for now!” She spun and latched onto Trixie hastily. In a flash, the pair were gone, leaving only an odd and unpleasant aroma.
“Wus that you?” enquired Applebloom as she stepped into the tent. “Oh! Pizza!”
Applejack passed the box across to her sister, and vowed to herself to never talk about this night ever again. Even if she had to lie.
86. Testing Testing 1, 2, 3
Rainbow Dash looks at Twilight, who is nattering on at the chalk board and the words she’s speaking seem to go in one of the mare’s ears, and right out the other. This isn’t fun, this isn’t flying. This is BORING!!!! She rocks the stool back and forth. That gets a grin, just right. She starts rocking back and forth rhythmically, tapping out the beat in her head. Twilight, as usual, is oblivious to developments around her as she is continuing with her boring lecture. But Rainbow Dash has found something so much better. Apparently other residents of Twilight’s tree find Rainbow’s antics as entertaining as she does. Owloicious comes over and starts a soft hoot in time with the creaks of the stool. And even Spike gets into the groove with a little drum.
Twilight has brought more chalk together, “Headed by General Firefly, an elite team of aerial performers were chosen to help celebrate this auspicious occasion. The first performance was so full of energy, so highly charged, that magical lightning showered down on the crowd. Everypony was so filled with amazement and wonder that General Firefly dubbed them” She whirls around her magic forming the symbol of the iconic flying team as she shouts, "the Wonderbolts!” She finally focuses on the world around her and her jaw drops. A pink mare is standing there, a smirk on her face. Spike and Owloicious beat a hasty retreat as Twilight takes a couple of steps forwards.
“What? Who? Starlight? Why are you here?”
Starlight holds up a hoof then whirls around to face Rainbow Dash, who has finally stopped playing on the stool. Her horn charges and she blasts the rainbow maned pegasus with magic. That task done she turns back to Twilight.
“EUP stands for Earth, Unicorn, and Pegasi” Rainbow mumbles.
Starlight grins, “That little memory retention spell will allow her to pass the test.” She glances back at Rainbow, who is still mumbling Wonderbolts facts. “Though it’s not exactly legal. Won’t tell anypony, will you?”
Twilight’s jaw is hanging low, Starlight takes a step and closes it with a snap. Twilight puts a hoof up to comfort her jaw. Then she glares at Starlight, “She needs to actually learn the information, not have it blasted into her brain!!!”
“The premier Wonderbolts choreographer is Commander Easyglider” Rainbow grumbles, her eyes half lidded.
Starlight shrugs, “As I said, it’s temporary, but I’m here for more than her passing her exam. I’m here to tell you something. Rainbow is a passive learner. And that is greatest while flying, she notices everything around her and passively absorbs it. So, if you want to help her really learn, with information you want her to retain long term, present the information as she flies and she will retain it far better than Pinkie raps, or your flash cards.” She brings a hoof to her chin. “Though I did like Pinkie’s rap. It was very 90’s”
“Huh? What? What 90’s?”
Starlight giggles. “Don’t worry, just have Rainbow take her test, she’ll pass. And you know how to help your friend in the future. Ta Ta!” With a bright flash, Starlight disappears.
“There were seven original Wonderbolts.” Rainbow murmurs, “And Princess Celestia’s favorite flight pattern is the Icaranian Sun Salutation.”
Twilight huffs as she leaves the dazed pegasus to finish absorbing the spell that Starlight had blasted her with.
87. Trade Ya
And such it was that with a flash of light and a mighty report, Starlight materialized in front of the Mane 6 (and Spike) outside the Rainbow Falls Trader Exchange. Before any of the aforementioned mares (or dragon) could express their shock at her sudden appreance, though, Starlight moved on to the next stage of her schtick, which had long ago become well rehearsed.
"You two," she began with a gesture to Applejack and Rarity, "will spend the entire exchange bickering over a broach and a pie tin, but will ultimately leave empty-hooved. You," she continued, this time gesturing to Rainbow Dash, "will be given the run-around, and will ultimately trade Fluttershy away for the book you seek. As a result, you," she gestured to Twilight, "will have to declare the trade unfair, and will give Rainbow your old copy of the book she seeks. In all, the only being here to leave with an uninterrupted trade that totally doesn't go awry in any way whatsoever (that you'll know of) will be Spike... speaking of which, I'll see you again eventually. By the way, sorry for evil stuff I might be causing soon!"
Finally done with her rapid fire monologue, Starlight drew in a deep breath. Satisfied with her timely delivery and amused by the confused expressions the past versions of her friends wore that totally NEVER got old, she lit her horn and cast the time travel spell once more, disappearing with the very same flash of light and thunderous report as when she had arrived.
Pinkie Pie was the first to comment, expressing a sentiment that all present could relate to:
"Huh- What?! How?! WHY?! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!"
88. Inspiration Manifestation
“This is awful! Simply awful!” wailed the puppeteer, flailing at the finished design of a miniature theatre Rarity had painstakingly crafted on commission.
The dressmaker, who’d briefly taken time out of her busy schedule to do the extra opportunity assigned to her, gasped in horror at the remark. After long hours, time spent away from her friends and other creations in order to make a brand new stage for the puppet show, Rarity had not expected such a brutal and heartless response. She questioned it, and allowed her client to open up on his criticisms.
“It’s completely unusable,” as he inspected closer, he found that the wheels did not touch the ground, making the thing impossible to travel on it’s own steam. It had two vases of flowers upon the stage area, which could easily have been moved to allow for puppets to act on it if the stallion was not blinded by his dislike for the item. In short, the pompous oaf did not see the potential in the small arena Rarity had created for him. “It appears I won't have a traveling puppet theater to use after all!”
He only saw the spinning ring of wisping orchid that smelled strongly of palma violets when he turned around, just in time for it to birth Starlight Glimmer into the fray.
“That is a real shame, because it looks like you could use the exercise,” she offered pithily, then lassoed Spike and Rarity to her sides before one could escape to wail sad songs and gobble ice cream, whilst the other would go touching books that even smelled of evil (it’s a sort of sulphuric smell, mixed with that nasty flowery scent you get from really bad air fresheners).
“Friendship lesson!” Cried Glimmer as the portly stallion still spluttered and choked on the insult Starlight had laid on him, “Spike, do you like this guy’s puppets?”
“Um… I… I don’t wanna say,” murmured the dragon awkwardly, looking at the fat face growing more purple by the second.
“Oh, Pish, don’t be such a Fluttershy!” giggled the time traveller, “he was just rude to the object of your secret desires, lay it on him thick, Spikey Wickey!” Rarity did not bat an eyelid, and the fellow unicorn mare noticed it. Huh, thought Starlight, maybe not that secret after all. I’ll remember that...
“Your puppets are ugly!” Spike threw his hands over his mouth, looking shocked at what he’d just said. But then, like that time Celestia sent one thousand scrolls through his belching postal system just to be a troll, the rest of the words came flooding out. “They look like Frankenpony’s foals and they should be banned from being one-hundred miles near a school! They need fire, and lots of it!”
Starlight was about to congratulate him, but Spike was on a roll now, and the mare simply blinked as he continued, “you look like the foal-catcher from ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Cart,’ and you sound like a bug flew down your throat and now speaks for you! And-” It was Rarity who silenced him first.
“That’s very sweet of you, darling, I think I can take it from here.” She cleared her throat and stared out the startled stallion. “Politeness is a virtue you appear to be lacking. Thankfully, my dear dragon friend showed me that I do not lack the same grace. Here is my response to your critique, good sir; I shall refund you for all but my time, and be done with you.” She retrieved her saddle bag, replaced most of the money into his hoof, and closed his mouth with a shine of her horn before he could complain further.
“Thank you for your interest, but I, sir, am a dressmaker. May your life be as pleasant as you are. Good day!” And with a one-eighty turn, she flicked her pristine tail across his muzzle and started to trot away, calling Spike to follow her.
The young drake looked at the big, unfriendly puppeteer struggling with the gag on his mouth, then up at Starlight who was grinning delightedly.
“Good job, Spike. Momma’s so proud!” She gave him a gentle pat on the head, rose up her magical exit to her next destination, and winked playfully. “Remember, honesty is the best policy!” Just like that, she was gone.
Spike pondered the turn of events for a moment, and then quickly crossed his arms as he looked to puppet master Claude one last time. “B.O. problem too, seriously, have some pride in yourself, stallion!” With that, Spike raced after Rarity, leaving Claude to reconsider his lifetime decisions up to this point…
89. The Equestria Games
“Mister the Dragon! Would you light the torch already?”
Starlight galloped full-speed towards the, well, harsh pony’s voice, saddlebags clanking and bouncing against her barrel as the unicorn ran.
“I don’t what it is, but, I—I just don’t have the stuff today!”
Oh, Spike. The baby dragon’s panicked words, though faint from this far down the corridor, were like a cattleprod to Starlight’s horn. Damn it all to Tartarus! In a flash of turquoise magic, she teleported the last hundred or so paces, reappearing a split-second later in a bubble of magic at the base of the Equestria Games torch.
“Good heavens—!” The harsh-voiced tan pony (Harshwhinny was it?) spooked and fell over backwards at the sudden appearance of a frantic unicorn. Starlight tossed her purple mane, snorting once to get her heaving breaths under control.
“Oh, thank Celestia!” Spike cried from above. Starlight frowned, peering up at the dragon as he grabbed the ladder rungs and slid quickly to the bottom. The contents of her saddlebags, already hovering midair in a turquoise telekinetic halo, paused as the unicorn stared Spike down, utterly confused.
“That is… not the usual reaction,” she admitted.
Spike just shook his head, staring up at Starlight with plaintive green eyes. “Don’t care. Hit me with it.”
Starlight squinted down at her friend. “Are you… relieved? Because you sure do sound relieved.”
Harshwhinny regained her hooves quickly, but in vain. She barely managed to scowl and open her mouth to unleash what would no doubt be a burning diatribe when a streak of magic shot out and hit her smack in the forehead. The pony keeled over again, snoring this time, though Starlight didn’t even bother to spare her a glance away from Spike and oh my god were those puppy dog eyes?!
“Well, I mean. You kinda, y’know, show up? When there’s a problem.” The dragon raised one clawed hand and waved it to encapsulate the pony-filled stadium. “And I am having a problem, so whatever your magical solution is, I’ll take it.”
Several moments of perturbed blinking later, the beeper on one of Starlight’s watches reminded her that, out of the norm or not, she didn’t have any time to care. The flurry of magical activity resumed as the unicorn tilted a generous pour of Emberglow’s FIrewhiskey into a shaker; a more delicate tendril of magic unscrewed a small glass jar and dropped a single Dragon Sneeze Tree bloom into the mix.
“Alright, Spikey, I’d like to introduce you to the time-honored, long-held, and prestigious tradition that performing ponies the world ‘round swear by,” Starlight informed him solemnly. The metal drink shaker shook vigorously in her magic for a moment longer, before pouring it into a small glass tumbler. After half a moment, she added two small red rubies and held it out to spike.
“What… what’s the tradition?” Spike took the glass despite the waver in his voice.
Starlight grinned. “Taking a shot.”
Spike gulped. “And this’ll solve my problem?”
The unicorn nodded. “Oh yes. Though, er, it may be a little… stronger than I originally intended. Not supposed to teleport with dragon sneeze tree blooms, apparently. Delicate magical ingredient and all that.” She waved a pale purple hoof. “Eh, it’ll probably be fine. Drink up! We’re on a schedule.” Starlight tapped her watch.
Spike stared down the drink in his claw like it was a grenade, but ultimately, he shrugged and downed the shot, belching a small green cloud after. Starlight was quick to teleport him back to the top of the ladder.
“Remember, at the torch and don’t drink and fly!”
“But I don’t have wings!” Before spike could give another complaint, he turned back to the torch , cheeks puffed up and ready to burst. “Holy—fwaugh!” The torch lit as spike let loose a humongous green fireball that engulfed the torch entirely. A collective gasp took the crowd, but quickly morphed into raucous cheering and applause. Spike stared around the stadium in awe, waving and only wobbling slightly at the top of the ladder. The entire stadium cheered louder, under the green light of the torch.
Annnd check. Somehow the crackling pop of displaced air as Starlight Glimmer’s time spell took hold somehow managed to sound more smug than usual as it swept her away.
90 & 91. Twilight's Kingdom
The dark lord, Tirek skulked about the alleys of Canterlot. He was still weak from his escape from Tartarus. But he had strength enough at last to drain the magic from ponies. Shrouded in a cloak, he stalked his first victim.
The pony nearly walked right into him.
"Very sorry. You came out of nowhere," the pony apologized.
"Is he friend, or is he foe, the pony wonders," Tirek said out loud to the pony. "I can assure you. I am no 'friend'. I am Lord Tirek. And I will take what should have been mine long ago." Tirek opened his mouth to consume the pony's magic, but all he got from the pony was the sudden blow to the head from a loose road brick.
Before he knew what was happening, the unicorn bound his arms and legs and had him fitted with a ball-gag, preventing him from consuming magic. In a flash they both teleported into Twilight Sparkle's library. Twilight Sparkle and Spike were away, visiting the Crystal Empire to 'smile and wave'. Owlicious, being nocturnal, was out flying for the night. The library was empty, silent and pitch dark on the moonless night. Tirek couldn't see, but he could tell that he was tied to a chair. The room had the faint smell of pepperoni.
"Is she friend, or is she foe, the centaur wonders," the mare's voice said from the darkness. "I can assure you. I am no 'friend'. I am Starlight Glimmer. And I will take what should have been mine long ago!" The mare plucked the triangular amulet from around Tirek's neck and added it to her bag of other inanimate objects that she had collected, including the rainbow thread, Rainbow's Wonderbolts pin, a rubber chicken, a flower, and a single, crisp, bit.
The glass case in the library still had the Elements of Harmony, since she had prevented the plunderseeds from affecting the Tree of Harmony. She opened the case and put them into her other saddle bag. Tirek mumbled in confusion against the ball-gag in his mouth.
"Oh, don't ask. You don't even want to know where it's been." Starlight said. "Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat, but l really don't want to live in Golden Oaks Library in a couple years. But don't worry. I will fix everything in thirty seconds or less..." Starlight lit a match, igniting a cigarette in her mouth. By the dim light of the hot cherry, Tirek could see that all of the books in the library had been replaced with bundles of dynamite. On the floor, in an open box at his hooves laid a fresh pizza. Tirek struggled against his bindings in abject terror. She leaned in, uncomfortably close to his face, "... o͇̟̮r͙͚̦̤͈̮ ̻̺͎t͔̙͈͓̝͚hḙ̜̩̹ ̮͇̼̻̳̞̞p͕̬̞̰i͚̰̱̬̞͙z̹̻̱z̳a̞̼͎̳'̞̤s̮̟̳ ̲̣̻͉͔f͖̮̜̫̯̮̮r̭̟͇̼͉̥̲e͍͇͍̳̩͕e̤͖̤̣͍̬."
Starlight flicked the cigarette into his lap. The dynamite fuse that was wrapped around him ignited and he could do nothing but watch it burn down as the mare trotted out the door. Starlight left and never looked back. After all... she had a tree that needed elements fed to it, a box to unlock, and a brand new castle to house-sit until a certain princess came back from 'smiling and waving.'
And cool mares don't look at the explosion.
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why i have a werid feeling at the end of it all she will get her ass wipe in so many ways?
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Castle Mane-ia
There was a faint thumping from inside the trap, along with a wheedling voice that was getting on Starlight's nerves.
"Um. Excuse me. When are you going to let me out?"
"Calm down, Stygian. I've got a couple more seasons to go." Starlight Glimmer raised her soldering iron and touched up a few circuits on her latest project, which she was going to call the Spectre Trapper and Pony Releaser once it was done. "Besides, you're not really in the trap. You're actually still in Limbo, with a quasi-dimensional echo extended into this plane of existence. Hang tight and I'll have that cranky bearded grump on his knees apologizing to you shortly. Just have a couple more things to do first."
Rarity Takes Manehattan
Some ponies can be discouraged with a rolled-up newspaper across the nose. Some require a more firm reminder.
9149519
9149364
Shakey, I vote that Georg's addition should totally be added to the end of the Castle Mane-ia story. X3 Tres bien!
9149584 Done.
I actually prefer this version of Rarity Takes Manehatten.
When all is said and done, will there be some kind of bonus that shows us what order Starlight did them in?
9149833
Ta, chief!
The biggest question I have about this is how this version of the season 8 finale will occur, considering the big change to how Twilight's Kingdom went.
Shame on you for not having her leave a pizza in front of him.
9149897 That idea is too good to ignore!
9149897 At this point, this joke deserves some "Starlight Glimmer with a pizza" meme art.
Make it happen!
[EDIT]
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Was that...A SNICKERS JOKE!?
9150171
At least nopony grabbed any nuts...
Kinda wondering how next seasons premier and finale will turn out for this.
I just get this image of future Starlight smacking past Starlight with a rolled up newspaper, saying 'Bad me! Now apologize to them.' Then all of a sudden remember this exact thing happening to her before.
Ti-rekt gets the Acme Treatment. And it's all good for the sake of keeping the timestream from going TOO bonkers.
This chapter does now compute at all. Are we viewing season 4, and onwards, out of order? Cause Starlight swore off time maipulating after season 3.
Od did I miss something?
9150714
I think that last part of the last chapter is supposed to take place at the end chronologically. It's just there because it's part of season 3.
wow
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9151305
Yes I'm overthinking it. So what? A straight up answer is better though.
9151856
The short answer is "sort of". The authors that are writing this are working in simultaneous parallel. Therefor maintaining any kind of running continuity is nearly impossible. Admittedly, it is a bit irritating for me to read about the mane six seeing Starlight in season four, and acting as though it were for the first time, in spite of them obviously having met her before. And also, in spite of my insistent advice to the contrary, somepony wanted to give Starlight wings early. So now there is an extra layer of confusion for the readers. At this point, all I can say to readers is don't over-think about it too much.
If I do a project like this again. (And I likely will) I will be sure to be more structured about it.
9151869
Starlight Fixes Everything 2: Twilight Re-fixes Everything,
Starlight Fixes Everything 3: Starlight Destroys Twilight's Hard Work
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9151917
Is it me or was Starlight was complete savage here in the Season 4 world?
9149386
Or maybe her adventures will become the cause of the barren wasteland future from the season 5 finale.
9154350
now that would be funny as she say "ooohhhh my bad......"
9154372
It'll be interesting to see how Starlight's actions here affect Season 8.
Ok, why exactly she had to destroy the Treebrary?
9174468
She can't prevent future episodes (like Castle Sweet Castle)
Also, she didn't want to live in the tree.
9174477
How exactly existence of the Treebrary prevents the future episodes? It have nothing to do with the castle and even if they somehow occupy the same space castle could have integrate tree intro itself. After all it's highly magical construct capable to detect friendship problems all over Equestria. Even if they won't merge Twi will move into castle anyway. I'm quite positive that Celestia will ask her to do so. Hey, Glimmy already bucked up history on her quest more than once and she can always replay it another way.
It's just a shame Glimmy has to finish in 30 seconds or less
Typo.
The last word is spelled M u r d e r xD
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Nonono...
SFE2: Twilight
strikestakes back.SFE3: Return of alicorn.
9288583
DUNDUN DUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN
shots fired! fleet just got roasted! or should i say...fleet got yeeted
Discord?