La naissance du personnage
Twilight pulled her head from her book, the very movement providing an explanation for her mental state; the title, too, was marked The Elements of Literary Construction—the provision of the fact a clear example, in Twilight's mind, of subtle plot establishment.
“Everything,” she said, lowering her head onto her hooves to provide a physical clue as to her mood, “everything I do—”
She simply trailed off and sighed, reflecting the end of her train of logic—and then she tensed up, realising that she, in her relaxation, had done it again; she had done something working into a greater narrative, relaxed so that the story would move on. That was what the book had called it: the narrative.
It made everything make sense. Everything.
“C’mon, Twilight,” she began, before she realised that her talking to herself represented growing madness; where she would have said ‘keep it together’, she simply stopped and stood, and walked down the stairs, deciding to do something without purpose. She froze half-way, knowing that her search for pointlessness had a point and therefore was part of the narrative, and so she stood there for a few minutes with her eyes and mouth wide open as she tried to solve the problem through sheer willpower.
“Uh, Twi?” Spike peeked up through the gap between the second floor and the stairs on which Twilight lay frozen, “You alright, Twi?”
She turned her head slowly towards him, and as she noticed that her expression would make her out to be a maniac and be a further submission to the plot she knew she was the protagonist of, she—with disconcerting quickness—turned her face into serenity incarnate. “You’re a prompt.”
Spike raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“If you hadn’t come here,” she said, stomping down the stairs step by step as she arched her back slightly before it became obvious to her that the pose made her look predatory—the narrative was out to get her, she was sure, and so she forced herself to walk like a normal pony even as she continued to speak. “If you hadn’t come here, I would’ve stood here forever, and that wouldn’t be a very good narrative, would it? So you’re a prompt!”
“You’re sounding really silly right now. You know that, right?”
“Is that so?” she said, looking at the ceiling to avoid staring at him as she might be expected to, a second before she turned back when she decided that perhaps the narrative wanted her to subvert cultural norms and make her look insane. “What were you doing before you got here?”
Spike put his claws up to his chin and thought for a bit. “Well,” he said, “I wasn’t really doing anything importan—”
“See? If you were an actual character, you’d have some sort of indication that you were hiding something when you said that! You’re not important in this narrative as a character, you’re just here to get me to move!” It was then that she realised that her escalating voice was, too, a reflection of the narrative, perhaps telling a story on her insanity; so she lowered her voice, and kept her normal pose for about a second before she thought that perhaps what the narrative wanted was to make herself seem sane and she was playing right into its clutches, and spent some time alternating between the two positions as Spike looked on with a fair measure of incredulity.
“Well,” he chuckled nervously, “You sure are moving now, Twi.”
She suddenly stopped and stood still. “Humor.”
“Humor?”
Twilight jumped off the top of the stairs, landing rather roughly on her hooves in front of Spike; the latter, in shock, jumped backwards and landed on his posterior. “That’s right. Humor. You made a joke.”
Spike pushed himself backwards a little as Twilight inched closer; she had a rather disconcerting grin on her face. “Y—yeah, I made a joke. Did something really bad happen? Is something wrong?” His demeanour had a considerable amount of fear in it.
“No, no, no!” Twilight said, immediately standing straight and smiling in a tempered, not-at-all-insane way. “You just proved my hypothesis. You just sit around and make jokes and set up punchlines and fulfil a minor but important function, sometimes to have a little adventure of your own but never as much as us! You’re just a side character!”
Spike, who had already been rather terrified by Twilight’s show of insanity, began to tear up a bit. “I’m just a—I’m just a side character? That’s all I am to you?”
Twilight stopped, then, and took a look at herself, and then to Spike’s tearful eyes. “I’m a monster,” she said, and stepped back quickly and turned around—for just a second, before she had another revelation. “No, no! That’s just what the narrative wants me to do! It wants me to get mad at you and realize what a jerk I’ve been and then say sorry and cuddle and then forget—”
Spike, pushing himself onto his feet and dusting himself off, wiping the tears from his eyes, “Twilight, what in Celestia’s name are you talking about?”
“Well,” she said, whipping back around—and then she realised that the only reason she had turned around in the first place was to facilitate a dramatic turn that she did not personally plan, and she realised that she had stopped saying something because it would be inconvenient for the narrative, and she hadn't the slightest clue as to what she could possibly do that wasn't some reflection of the narrative.
So she just broke down and screamed a wordless cry of primal, existential rage, and shoved her head into her hooves. Then she just as suddenly pulled them out, and her face looked as though she was mildly shocked for no reason in particular—the exact configuration she had forced it into.
Spike backed off, careful to look for any possible obstructions—genre-savviness, Twilight recognised, a hallmark of metafictional comedy, perhaps what the twisted narrative was forcing her into now—as he stepped back. “Maybe you should go see Fluttershy or something. She might—”
Twilight interrupted with a vengeance. “Fluttershy? No, no! Fluttershy’s just gonna make me feel better! She’s gonna try and calm me down! Guess what, Spike? Guess what?”
“What?”
“Answering a rhetorical question with another question! A prime example of comedic relief!” she said, very consciously keeping her voice low-pitched and face happy as she strode towards the door like Rarity might; certainly nothing she would normally do, she assured herself, clearly breaking from the narrative except for the possibility that the narrative might. “I’m gonna go to Pinkie Pie. She’ll know what to do about this.”
The baby dragon had done quite a fine job of not being a baby; he was quite well back to his old self by the time Twilight had finished her sentence, and spoke with air-quotes. “What if that’s what ‘the narrative’ wants you to do because it'd be funny seeing you take advice from Pinkie Pie?”
Twilight froze at the possibility before she thought that her freezing might have been contrived as a sort of comedic relief and so she simply ignored Spike as she pulled the door open, got out and slammed it as hard as possible; a few books fell off their shelves, and though Twilight may once have called it a coincidence of the transference of force, she would have then called it for what she was sure it was: a contrivance for comedic effect.
Spike let out a deep breath, shaking his head as he let himself take a seat on the floor.
“I swear,” he said, shaking his head once more and finally standing up, executing what Twilight would have called an ‘establishment of mundanity, constructed to make her seem paranoid’. “Sometimes I wonder what goes through that pony’s head.”
He began putting the books back on the shelves.
Some day, he'd have to talk to Princess Celestia about counselling options.
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... What.
That, good sir, was brilliant.
gifsforum.com/images/gif/wtf/grand/wat-wtf-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-909.gif
The "wat" is also about the story. Is this a somewhat meta fic about how fanfics are done? If so, then... yeah, you've got it down.
Well, that was deep and existential.
Derealization; the best of mental illnesses
This could be applied to reality.
Well, it's nice to see this actually has a story to it. It's nice to see that this actually makes sense.
Ho-ray.
Reminds me of the breakdown that Harold Crick goes through in Stranger Than Fiction.
I just watched that movie the other day...I might watch it again now...
1000601
I was going to post that!
I'm not going to post anything awesome or witty, because that's just what the narrative would want me to do!
I'm off to go eat some breakfast, 'cuz it's 8:30 and that's what I wanna do.
Have a thumbs up.
Hmm, really good. Can't wait to see what Pinkie says. She'll confuse Twilight even more with her crazy logic and 4th wall breakage. Then she'll stand on top of the hub logo.
Also, one error I saw: 'shoved her hooves into her hands' <- hands? Maybe shoved her head into her hooves? idk
my life is a book, sometimes I wish I could find that fucking book and skip to the good parts then peek at the ending to know how everything goes down.
I'd be thrilled to find I'm a character in a book, and a main protagonist no less! I'd always be assured that everything would work out for the best.
Really, does it matter, Twilight?
1000937 The ending is never fun. The main character always dies.
Brilliant. Keeping my eye out for more.
God, it's exactly like me when I'm drunk...
1000937
1001041
cbskhitschicago.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/51402591_8.jpg?w=314
He writes books, and everyone in this world is in it. But no one is writing him, he never dies.
This is a great piece.. I've never really read anything like this and I think that helped with the hilarity. This entire idea is just perfect. I really wanna read more.
1000601
As opposed to adolescent humour - which would warrant a teen rating - or immature adolescent humour, which would warrant a mature rating.
I wrote a ludicrously long post about it on my FiMfic blog, but to keep it simple it is first and foremost a story about derealisation and a parody of metafictional fiction in general.
1001038
Imagine being the main character in Kafka's Metamorphosis.
I'm assuming that "Rated Everyone for adult humour." is some kind of joke?
I mean, we've all seen this, haven't we?
1000911
My reaction? If you're frazzled by a fourth wall freakout, who better to go to than Pinkie Pie?
1000689
And I'm one who has suffered it, If you can say "Suffered". Oh 2011, What a tip of the iceberg year you were for me.
Wait, Why did I write this? 
Myself from some random day in late 2011 or early 2012 quotes a Morphine song: "I propose a toast to my self control; You'll see it crawling helpless on the floor. "
Here I am, Still wondering if I'm doing this for the funny farm effect or something. (What is "The Funny Farm Effect"?)
We're only Making Plans For Nigel, We only want what's best for him...
Be happy.
And now, A Silly RD Emoticon!
PUPPIES!
1001110 this actually made me think of when Chuck Norris actually dies what would happen and now I know. The mayan prophecies says it is the end of the world on Dec 21st 2012. This is when Chuck Norris will die
Oh, And I haven't taken a bite of the Cake lately.
Is my brain in check?
Meh. I might as well go back to what I was doing which is listening to The B-52's.
thewaxfactor.com/images/B-52s-Wild-Planet-337715.jpg
1001131
Oooh, the roach thing. Yeah, no, that doesn't count. Didn't he commit suicide? I wouldn't do that.
I'd hide out in the woods and scare passerby.
This story is marked "incomplete". This implies that more will be written of Twilight's literary exploits. This initiates two chemical chain reactions in me, commonly refered to as anticipation and happiness. :)
1001136
>I'm assuming that "Rated Everyone for adult humour." is some kind of joke?
Again:
>As opposed to adolescent humour - which would warrant a teen rating - or immature adolescent humour, which would warrant a mature rating.
1001149
And when they open up his coffin.....
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120324015325/residentevil/images/3/36/Nope_its_just_chuck_testa_66682.jpg
Chuck Norris will never die. When they find him dead in his sleep, it would be a Changeling, dying from an insane roundhouse kick. If Chuck Norris has a heart attack, in reality, it is a Spy from TF2 being raped by the awesomeness of Chuck Norris' chest hair. In all, he will never die. He watches the sun and moon rise and fall, he sits back and drinks beer with God and Satan, but he is eternal.
Yeah, I would be pretty sad to see him dead on the TV though...that's why I will protest the new Expendables 2 movie if they kill Chuck Norris in it.
1001131 I got ya.
1001170
The blog post doesn't look like it accepts exceptions, but I've said what I wanted to say. Also, before you get annoyed at me mentioning that which has already been mentioned, my comment was posted before yours. There was no answer when I asked.
1001195
I'm not annoyed at you, ha.
I just write in this incredibly dry manner; I apologise if I've offended you in any way.
Too silly and meta for me.
BRILLIANT~!!!!!!!
1001131
Yum. Literary pretense.
But if I was in a work of fiction is would either not give a shit or I would rage against the cage(by being as boring and uninteresting as possible).
The best of us spend our entire lives rebelling against a plot we do not find particularly interesting.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6toc8tVPx1r0schv.jpg
Well it was well written...
... dam it! 
How am i supposed to comment on this anyway? What a strange power it is that you have wrought.
Twilight breaks the forth wall tonight at 8:00
k. wtf
The index file is looking itself up in the index file.
I had a short story happen to me once, cumulating with an elevator ride where I said the theme out loud as the doors closed.
Surreal, but I didn't loose my cool like Twi.
Take my thumbs! You clearly have greater need for them than I
This is amazing. It's cerebral and hilarious. That's a combination I rarely see executed with any kind of skill, but you're pulling it off very well here. And it includes my personal pick for Best Pony taking the express train to Crazytown -- something I'm a little embarrassed to find so amusing.
Going to see Pinkie about her problems is either a brilliant or terrible idea, not much room for a gray area there. I'm looking forward to learning how it turns out.
1001550
Its all because of the author.... hes watching us...
1001195
Saying it's adult humor is just a joke. The blog rule about adult humor being rated mature is for actual adult humor (which this story isn't. At all.). Just wanted to clear that up.
1001862
Has already been answered, check my comment again and you'll see that it's been replied to. If this story really weren't adult humor, then it wouldn't be mentioned in the description.
1001131
Pretty sure that any circumstances in which one was turned into a bug and your family were so horrified by your presence that they locked you in your room and killed you (literary or otherwise) would be terrible.
1000689
It is pretty fucking terrible, really. Especially when your family keeps leaving voice mails, and there's just no point in responding because, whatever, it just doesn't fucking matter. None of it does. And everyone at work is getting confrontational, but why? This report or that scheduled meeting, whatever. Why don't all these fucking pylons just go away?
Anyway, liked the story. Really liked the logo (or whatever the images are called), simple pleasures are best for simple minds (and all minds are simple).
1001873
I read the comment, but I'm afraid it kind of confused me. Same with this comment as well. In the first part of the comment, you say that it's been answered (which makes me think you understand that him saying it was rated everyone for adult humor was just a joke), but then in the second part you say he wouldn't have put it in the description if it wasn't true, so now I'm not really sure how to respond.
Basically, the reason he put that in the description was to make a joke. He's calling it adult to refer to the stuff in the story (thing like existentialism) because of the intelligence needed to understand it. In his previous comment, he said adolescent humor would be teen (probably stories with a lot of bad language) and immature adolescent humor would be adult (probably stories with nothing but sex).
To keep it short: nothing in this story could actually be considered adult (in terms of material it contains) so it's not rated wrong, and the only reason adult humor is mentioned in the description is for humor.
I'll just shut up now, because it's past midnight (and I'm seriously tired), which means I probably just misread your comment. That said, feel free to ignore this comment.