• Member Since 15th Jun, 2018
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Comments ( 187 )

I was in the middle of a forest and it was Quiet… too quiet…

And this writing is cliche. Too cliche...

(A bowstring being pulled back noise)

And... I’m done here.

Dude, you were too obvious. If you really want to post trollfic here, you need a little more subtlety. Hell, your cover art alone...

Oh boy, this thing needs an editor!

"I shell my love... I shell."

is that how it's supposed to be typed out?

Comment posted by PsychoFox44 deleted Jul 9th, 2018

Please give it time. I know this thing is not the best but this was the same thing with the prologue. If you give it time I’m sure you’ll love the story. Yes it needs editing and yes it A bit cliché... but I know in time it will make a great story.

But if you don’t like the Cover art... then I don’t care what you do. My friend probably work that thing for hours and I found it amazing. I could never do that and he took the time to do that himself without anything in return! You can give me something that’s 1 million times better and I still would pick his then yours.

Well, okay. But why are the guy's ankles broken and why is he standing on them? For that matter, why is he wearing a necktie on his crotch? Why does he have twelve nipples? I'm not even being sarcastic, it's just that there's a lot there that doesn't make any sense.

It’s armour. If you look at the prologue you can see what he was trying to re-create, and don’t forget it’s really hard to draw for some people. He was the only one who is willing to do it, and that’s why he’s one of my best friends

On a site where the fandom gets off to clowns, socks, foals, furries, and rape, I honestly stopped expecting this place to make sense a long time ago. So is the necktie on the groin/the twelve nipples on his chest supposed to be made of Kevlar or something?

:twilightoops: So this is another weirdo fetish fic. At least the whole...gimp fetish is different from the usual.

The hell is that supposed to mean.

Usually the fetish fics that pop up when I'm online are dealing with foals, poop, piss, or furries, but seeing something about a gimp isn't as common.

What is your problem? This isn’t whenever you call a fetish fic. It’s an actual story that I plan on completing. You have no idea how hard it is to write a book to make everyone love it. So if you want to be a dick just go.

How am I being a dick? I literally just told you that this gimp stuff is a more original...thing, than most of the psycho fetishes that appear on the front page.

Listen I’m sorry... I lost my temper. I just want people to give the story a chance!

Wait a minute, is this one of those m things? You freak, I'm not doing that. I'm out!

What it has a lot of blood and guts later on.

There’s no sex! M does not mean sex

Oh is that what they're calling it nowadays? :pinkiesick:

What? sex? It’s always been called that

You have issues I strongly recommend getting a licensed professional's help with. I'm no expert, but that can't be healthy.

You know I thought I must’ve rush to conclusions about thinking that you were a dick. But now I see that a dick has more respect for me in the likes of you.

You have no idea how hard it is to write a book or draw art. You are pathetic little scumbag who knows nothing of how life actually works.

So goodbye and see you in hell asshole

Oh no, don't hold back. Tell me what you really think.

my words may mean nothing to you. And that doesn’t matter because we’re done talking. I’ve said my piece and now you can say yours

I'm concerned about the wording here:

a dick has more respect for me in the likes of you

I'm going to interpret that as bad grammar on your part, lest I be accused of being a "homophobe".

Don’t you just love voice text. Was that really the best come back you have!? A child has insulted me more than you.

What exactly are you doing that leaves you in a child's presence long enough for them to insult you like you're insinuating? Have you been offered a seat while being filmed for MSNBC?

That’s the thing, it wasn’t actually a insult... it was more of a joking insult. The ones that you have with your friends and little cousins... oh wait you don’t know that feeling because all you are is an asshole to everyone... A person who makes fun of someone and not actually knowing them is the worst person in the world.

There are a few exceptions but I believe you are one of the worst people in the world. What do you think you will gain from being an asshole to me and my friends. You will gain nothing!

So your friends are similar enough to your "little cousins" that your manner of joking with both is the same. Have you considered hanging out with, you know, grown adults instead of children? Kinda weird, bro.

That’s the difference between me and you. I practically see my cousins every other day and we always hang out make jokes and insult each other. Of course I hang out with adults. Hell you should see me at parties! The point is you may see them as little Bratz or annoying people... but I see them as family and that’s one thing you can never take away from me. You can insult me belittle me but at least I have a family who got my back both little and big.

At the risk of contributing to a firestorm, I'll just offer a little insight.

If you want your story to be taken seriously, it has to look like a story worth taking seriously. Before publishing, always ask yourself, "Does this look like it's work reading?" A million mistakes tells the reader that you don't care. It doesn't matter how good your ideas might be if they're impossible to decode; if the text as a whole is a drag to read, very few will put in the effort necessary to see said ideas. Content is meaningless unless expressed properly.

So, before continuing, do your due diligence. Study up on grammar, spelling, punctuation, and storytelling (your plot needs a complete overhaul). Use a proper word processor that can highlight mistakes and teach you as you go. Hold yourself to a much higher standard and your work will follow.

Thanks for the advice 😔 I do truly care about this book is just I’m not good at writing, typing or reading.

What do you use to write? Microsoft Word? Some other program?

Do you notice when a mistake is flagged?

There's your main problem. You need a program that makes mistakes more obvious. See if you can find one (if you have Windows, Microsoft Word is an excellent choice) and use that instead.

Wait a minute... How the fuck you read it so fast it took me all day to write that


Tried figuring out why they would send fucking letters then I realized it was Ladders xD that mistake is throughout the writing.

Probably 100 gallons had died already

100 Gallons of what?

You always know how to find my mistakes don’t you.

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