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Clopficsinthecomments


I want nothing more than to bring a smile to your face with a light-hearted clopfic! If you want to bring a smile to mine, leave a comment!

Comments ( 88 )

Ah man, I knew you were gonna write about Zala at some point. Nice to see Tower Shield (and Kindnicker) make an appearance, too.

Ooh zebra oc. I’ll add this to read later. I like zebras.

Given that her pictures are tagged as foalcon on derpibooru, why are you saying Zala is 18? Given her size, I'd always seen her as a bit younger than that.

Wait, people have problems with Zebras? this is a first.

Nice. Makes a much needed change from the typical 'Male Zebra dom x pony fics' you see pop up every so often. I liked this fic a lot, and thank you for making it.

9030133
Zebras are seen as a stand in for African Americans in some clopfics, and the fantasies can get a bit racist.

9030302

a bit racist

Understatement of the century.

9030329
Specifically the 19th century.

>muh 18yo
ruined

Meh, no hate for this fic here. They're cartoons people, it's all in good fun.
Great fic as always, cheers! :yay:

A delightfully spankable little romp you've written here. Well done.

My only real complaint is that for all the time Zala spent pining for her beloved Lieutenant Lancer, it was disappointing that there was no payoff there. The plot thread of his squad sparking her infatuation works fine on its own, in a generic sense, but as soon as it gets to the point where her interest is centered around that one pony in specific, one she refers to as her love, it creates an expectation that the story didn't live up to. I'm aware it probably wouldn't have been too realistic for him to still be there after so much time had passed, but it could have benefited from at least some sort of epilogue scene of her new friends helping her figure out where Lancer was transferred to/her continuing on her journey/reaching civilization proper/finding her stallion to wrap up the plot thread.

Oh well, ideas for the sequel, eh?

9030504
Exactly.

The idea was originally to have a whole series as little Zala makes her way back to the pony Homeland before meeting and marrying her Lieutenant, and becoming the fiercest, best mom ever.

Wow. This is really well written. You've really captured the raw, gross essence of a bunch of soldiers out on their own, given them interesting personalities. Onward to the next chapter!

What's the source on the cover pic?

This was really good! I kind of wish it hadn't been all of them in there that first night -- I think you could've added a few more chapters of story and drama with the various characters. I hope you write more, and that Zala and the others get further developed. I'm sure there's plenty of fun stories left in there. Best OC story I've read about in a long time.

9030133

Because the usual implementation of zebras in the R34 side of our fandom is almost entirely of Fall Of Equestria-level zebra domination. It's become quite common, and the everlasting en masse hate that FOE picked up hasn't seemed to catch on to the whole zebra domination scene yet.

But it has caused a lot of hatred for zebras and zebra clopfics, even the ones not involving "zebras fuck all the mares into mind-breaking and dominate Equestria with their dicks and mind-control alchemy, look at how inferior ponies are to zebra schlong, even the Princesses as we cuck all Equestrian stallions and chop off their balls". This is, as the author notes for their own story, just another fetish, but it became so widespread that people are fairly salty about it.

On top of that, there is also a much smaller group formed of SJW-types who love to make trouble complaining about exploitation of a less-advanced group or its members, which their sort might have applied to this story. But in general no one listens to them because they're crazypants.

9030714
1768775 is the number of Derpi. Rather NSFW, mind you.

This is easily written with such quality that I would gladly read a series about Zala exploring and being exposed to Equestrian civilization proper for the first time without any involvement of clop whatsoever :rainbowlaugh:

9030813
Thank you, I was never really aware of it. I always thought the enemies of FOE were the Deer.
9030302
I figure as much, but why being mad about that, do people have that much of an inferior complex to complain about it? Its a clop with a plot.

9031037
FoE is deer/caribou, you're right. I'm not sure if Aurora is confused or just trying to say that the degree of domination and mind break fetish is similar; I think the latter.

So long as the difference between fantasy and reality is clear, I try not to give a fuck what other people's fetishes are. But I do try to keep aware of it so I know which stories to skip past, because it is not my fetish.
And even when the fetish is practiced in reality, I still try to live and let live, so long as no one is getting hurt. (For example: BDSM is fine and none of my business; the fetishisation of an entire race or class of people is less okay but is more a symptom of a problem than a problem unto itself; and something like pedophilia should never see reality)

9030133
Zebradom.... it is nasty Zebra domination of all of Equestria, where Zebra Stallions basically take over the whole country with nothing but their big throbbing cocks. And the mares all "love" it, even if they were not interested in sex before.

It is nuts....

9030584
(I'd still read that if you were to go and write it)

9030584

The idea was originally to have a whole series as little Zala makes her way back to the pony Homeland before meeting and marrying her Lieutenant, and becoming the fiercest, best mom ever.

By the time she finds Lancer she's gonna be a mom alright, courtesy of half of the bucking Equestrian military.

Lol. "It's just a feitsh, no need to make it a big deal!"
But why do people go crazy over zebra-dom/FoE clopfics, then? Ain't that hypocritical?

(btw, I honestly don't care whatsoever, I just wanted to point out the obvious).

Very well written and hot story, I loved all the details like Zala's background, the banter around the guardponies and Tower's wife encouraging him to branch out. And of course the intense sex. Thanks for sharing this with us!

9030815
I know. That's why i asked. The art looked familiar. In fact, looking at the whole pic, its not really that explicit.

To all people in the comments or about to read them and/or leave a comment... Please, I beg you, don't bring that crap of 'Zebra Domination' into this. We really do not need a worse and stupider version of Fall of Equestria.

Thank you.

That aside, great story!

Gotta say that i loved this story. Always loved stories that involve zebras in some way.

9030584
I never realized just how much I needed this in my life.:heart:

Zala moaned and thrashed, feeling a ne wave of buildup crescendoing inside her.

This was the only thing I found in the entire fic. Anyway, I enjoyed this very much. Very much Oof. :moustache:

Love this fic! Hope there's more Zala in the future and totally not gay moments with Feudal.

I had to applaud this after finishing it, very well done.

[Colonized]

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

Always with the anal... :ajsleepy:

9033403
Why are you concerned?

(this question is not asked rudely or sarcastically. It is an honest to goodness question)

You mispelled meet....ooooooohhhhh.

It would be really neat if it wasn't the American Ponies meme again. Oh well. Can't have everything I guess.

9033402
i am not one for but stuff either that is a exit only ramp

9030054
Prolly cuz he didn't want to do foalcon?

Them chapter title names lol

This was an overall fun read and I could read more.

9033402
OI! I'll lay off the butt-fun when YOU update Lightning Dust!!! :twilightsmile:

Also... glad you read lil' ol' Zala! Hope I can see a lovely PussPuss zebra or Apogee someday, either would make me SQUEE!

9033664
Clopficsinthecomments has done enough mid/late teen foalcon in the past that I can't see how this would be a problem.

9033865

9033664

9030054

Wanted to make it as accessible as possible for all...

But... if a younger teen-zebra is your thing... perhaps the Zebrican time tracking is a bit faster than Equestria's calendar. Maybe she is a bit younger than 18 if you converted to normal years... :trixieshiftright:

9033886
I could just as easily go for the headcanon I've seen from time to time that equines enter adulthood later than humans. (A pretty arbitrary thing based on Granny Smith's alleged age of a few hundred, since she's older than Ponyville and Twilight said Ponyville was founded hundreds of years ago.) Although I don't think I've seen this headcanon in a clopfic before, other than for alicorns (and for alicorns it has justification from a secondary canon source).

I was simply curious as to why you decided as you did. And I find your answer very reasonable.

Glad to see Tower return to mess around with another small mare. Well done! I loved the interactions with this entire squad and how they got along.
As everyone has already pointed out, her having a crush seems really out of place now that the idea of the original story has been thrown out. Another reason of her leaving her home to go to Equestria could've been easily made. Her 'crush' kinda seems pointless now that she has an entire squad of those she loves, and now it seems like an awkward future discussion and problem in the story, because I don't see her leaving the squad she claimed she loved, so much so to the point that she's basically decided to submit and dedicate her love and body entirely to them, in order to pursue her other love.

Now how the heck does this whole love trian-... something work? I noticed the romance tag, but I'm not sure if this was a night of fun or more, because it seems there are a lot characters who are shown to be personally interested in becoming her suitor (some outright stating their interest or giving up their virginity to her), and Zala is obviously heavily infatuated with every single one of them and noted that they treat her like a wife which definitely brings up a lot of interesting questions. How will this work in the future for all of them? How will they deal with the reveal of her becoming preganant?
Either way, you have an interesting setup here, I have to say.

That was cute, sexy, and very hot. I liekd the addition of another mare to the group that made it a bit more interesting. I mean I like a group orgy as much as the next, but this was a nice offset to the norm. Great work as always. If I had one gripe was the stallion at the end was hard to understand kinda, but that's a small gripe compared to the rest of this story. :raritywink:

Also, bonus points because the title was the thing that caught my attention to read this at first. :scootangel: I like the title.

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