Ooh zebra oc. I’ll add this to read later. I like zebras.

Given that her pictures are tagged as foalcon on derpibooru, why are you saying Zala is 18? Given her size, I'd always seen her as a bit younger than that.

Nice. Makes a much needed change from the typical 'Male Zebra dom x pony fics' you see pop up every so often. I liked this fic a lot, and thank you for making it.

9030133
Zebras are seen as a stand in for African Americans in some clopfics, and the fantasies can get a bit racist.

9030302

a bit racist

Understatement of the century.

9030329
Specifically the 19th century.

>muh 18yo
ruined

Meh, no hate for this fic here. They're cartoons people, it's all in good fun.
Great fic as always, cheers!

A delightfully spankable little romp you've written here. Well done.

My only real complaint is that for all the time Zala spent pining for her beloved Lieutenant Lancer, it was disappointing that there was no payoff there. The plot thread of his squad sparking her infatuation works fine on its own, in a generic sense, but as soon as it gets to the point where her interest is centered around that one pony in specific, one she refers to as her love, it creates an expectation that the story didn't live up to. I'm aware it probably wouldn't have been too realistic for him to still be there after so much time had passed, but it could have benefited from at least some sort of epilogue scene of her new friends helping her figure out where Lancer was transferred to/her continuing on her journey/reaching civilization proper/finding her stallion to wrap up the plot thread.

Oh well, ideas for the sequel, eh?

9030504
Exactly.

The idea was originally to have a whole series as little Zala makes her way back to the pony Homeland before meeting and marrying her Lieutenant, and becoming the fiercest, best mom ever.

This was really good! I kind of wish it hadn't been all of them in there that first night -- I think you could've added a few more chapters of story and drama with the various characters. I hope you write more, and that Zala and the others get further developed. I'm sure there's plenty of fun stories left in there. Best OC story I've read about in a long time.

9030714
1768775 is the number of Derpi. Rather NSFW, mind you.

This is easily written with such quality that I would gladly read a series about Zala exploring and being exposed to Equestrian civilization proper for the first time without any involvement of clop whatsoever

9030813
Thank you, I was never really aware of it. I always thought the enemies of FOE were the Deer.
9030302
I figure as much, but why being mad about that, do people have that much of an inferior complex to complain about it? Its a clop with a plot.

9031037
FoE is deer/caribou, you're right. I'm not sure if Aurora is confused or just trying to say that the degree of domination and mind break fetish is similar; I think the latter.

So long as the difference between fantasy and reality is clear, I try not to give a fuck what other people's fetishes are. But I do try to keep aware of it so I know which stories to skip past, because it is not my fetish.
And even when the fetish is practiced in reality, I still try to live and let live, so long as no one is getting hurt. (For example: BDSM is fine and none of my business; the fetishisation of an entire race or class of people is less okay but is more a symptom of a problem than a problem unto itself; and something like pedophilia should never see reality)

9030584
(I'd still read that if you were to go and write it)

9030584

The idea was originally to have a whole series as little Zala makes her way back to the pony Homeland before meeting and marrying her Lieutenant, and becoming the fiercest, best mom ever.

By the time she finds Lancer she's gonna be a mom alright, courtesy of half of the bucking Equestrian military.

18+
right

Lol. "It's just a feitsh, no need to make it a big deal!"
But why do people go crazy over zebra-dom/FoE clopfics, then? Ain't that hypocritical?

(btw, I honestly don't care whatsoever, I just wanted to point out the obvious).

Very well written and hot story, I loved all the details like Zala's background, the banter around the guardponies and Tower's wife encouraging him to branch out. And of course the intense sex. Thanks for sharing this with us!

To all people in the comments or about to read them and/or leave a comment... Please, I beg you, don't bring that crap of 'Zebra Domination' into this. We really do not need a worse and stupider version of Fall of Equestria.

Thank you.

That aside, great story!

Gotta say that i loved this story. Always loved stories that involve zebras in some way.

9030584
I never realized just how much I needed this in my life.

Zala moaned and thrashed, feeling a ne wave of buildup crescendoing inside her.

This was the only thing I found in the entire fic. Anyway, I enjoyed this very much. Very much Oof.

Love this fic! Hope there's more Zala in the future and totally not gay moments with Feudal.

I had to applaud this after finishing it, very well done.

[Colonized]

Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

Always with the anal...

9032800
Why are you so weird?

9033403
Why are you concerned?

(this question is not asked rudely or sarcastically. It is an honest to goodness question)

You mispelled meet....ooooooohhhhh.

It would be really neat if it wasn't the American Ponies meme again. Oh well. Can't have everything I guess.

9033402
i am not one for but stuff either that is a exit only ramp

9030054
Prolly cuz he didn't want to do foalcon?

Them chapter title names lol

This was an overall fun read and I could read more.

9033402
OI! I'll lay off the butt-fun when YOU update Lightning Dust!!!

Also... glad you read lil' ol' Zala! Hope I can see a lovely PussPuss zebra or Apogee someday, either would make me SQUEE!

9033664
Clopficsinthecomments has done enough mid/late teen foalcon in the past that I can't see how this would be a problem.

9033865

9033664

9030054

Wanted to make it as accessible as possible for all...

But... if a younger teen-zebra is your thing... perhaps the Zebrican time tracking is a bit faster than Equestria's calendar. Maybe she is a bit younger than 18 if you converted to normal years...

9033886
I could just as easily go for the headcanon I've seen from time to time that equines enter adulthood later than humans. (A pretty arbitrary thing based on Granny Smith's alleged age of a few hundred, since she's older than Ponyville and Twilight said Ponyville was founded hundreds of years ago.) Although I don't think I've seen this headcanon in a clopfic before, other than for alicorns (and for alicorns it has justification from a secondary canon source).

I was simply curious as to why you decided as you did. And I find your answer very reasonable.

Glad to see Tower return to mess around with another small mare. Well done! I loved the interactions with this entire squad and how they got along.
As everyone has already pointed out, her having a crush seems really out of place now that the idea of the original story has been thrown out. Another reason of her leaving her home to go to Equestria could've been easily made. Her 'crush' kinda seems pointless now that she has an entire squad of those she loves, and now it seems like an awkward future discussion and problem in the story, because I don't see her leaving the squad she claimed she loved, so much so to the point that she's basically decided to submit and dedicate her love and body entirely to them, in order to pursue her other love.

Now how the heck does this whole love trian-... something work? I noticed the romance tag, but I'm not sure if this was a night of fun or more, because it seems there are a lot characters who are shown to be personally interested in becoming her suitor (some outright stating their interest or giving up their virginity to her), and Zala is obviously heavily infatuated with every single one of them and noted that they treat her like a wife which definitely brings up a lot of interesting questions. How will this work in the future for all of them? How will they deal with the reveal of her becoming preganant?
Either way, you have an interesting setup here, I have to say.

That was cute, sexy, and very hot. I liekd the addition of another mare to the group that made it a bit more interesting. I mean I like a group orgy as much as the next, but this was a nice offset to the norm. Great work as always. If I had one gripe was the stallion at the end was hard to understand kinda, but that's a small gripe compared to the rest of this story.

Also, bonus points because the title was the thing that caught my attention to read this at first. I like the title.

9037856
_{psst. Does Tower take Zala home to meet his wife?}
Tanks for the Plot!

9037898
Hahaha! Who knows!

As others have mentioned, they have to sneak Zala into Equestria first!

903789
9037942
Maybe it does happen, although does the squad get involved? Zala isn't submitting to Tower only and she's certainly not playing favorites with anyone to stay in one of their specific homes, at least that's the impression I get. In fact, it kinda seems she loves everyone equally and wants to serve them all. Problem is we have an entire squad adoring and desiring her, unless Tower's wife also happens to get involved in all this as well? Tower certainly seems too nice to be too jealous of such a thing and she did allow him to sleep with other mares already. Eh, sounds like an excuse for more clop, but it certainly sounds like very fun to have two small mares dominated.

Can we get a sequel?

I saw the pictures on Derpibooru and reading the description quite enticed me..... Then I saw Zala is 18 in this story. I wish you would have written about her as a filly, like she is on the pictures.....

9039864
As I've mentioned before (and in the story), perhaps zebra time is different than our time?

9041073

Perhaps. But since you describe her as 18, the mind immediately connects that to Zala being adult, which is something that contradicts the pictures, where she is clearly depicted as a pre-teen filly, both in appearance and personality.
It's impossible to not imagine her as an adult mare when reading this fic now.