• Published 8th Jul 2018
  • 6,764 Views, 100 Comments

When We Were Friends - FamousLastWords



Starlight and Spike face a challenge that threatens the foundation of their friendship.

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If You Don't Expect Too Much

Starlight couldn’t get up the stairs fast enough. She couldn’t get away from him soon enough. Every creak of every step he made when walking behind her made the queasiness in her stomach grow tenfold. She was suffocating, trapped in the stairwell.

And then she finally reached the top.

She hung a right turn and dashed down the hall toward her bedroom. Upon reaching it, she raced inside and slammed the door shut behind her. She had to take a few deep breaths just to collect herself and ease the pressure she felt in her stomach and chest.

In, out, in, out. She closed her eyes as tightly as she could and started to count to ten in her head, an extremely valid tip Twilight had taught her for dealing with stress. It worked in almost every situation she’d found herself in before, sothis was bound to be the same.

One. Two. Three.

Why did he have to give her that look at the table? How could he even pretend like they could look at each other like that again?

Four. Five.

He didn’t have any right to act like everything was normal! How could he ever think things would be normal again?

Six. Seven.

Why did he look into her eyes?

Eight.

Why did he have to be so stupid?

Nine.

Why does it hurt so much?

Ten.

Why did she even care?

She opened her eyes and took one final, deep, relaxing breath. She took in the familiarity of her room and released the negativity in her chest the best that she could. Everything would be okay. Nothing was a big deal. Things happen, and you move on.

She took a second to look around her room, not ready to move quite yet. The only light came from the sun’s rays seeping in through the closed window blinds. It created a dull glow, almost gray, that lit up just enough of her room to move around but not enough to further exasperate her growing headache.

But it was okay. It’d go away. Everything was the same.

Her overflowing wastebasket was the same. Her stack of old music records was the same. The posters on the wall were the same. The picture of her and Trixie and… him… at the Appaloosa Fair was the same. Her bed, with the blankets falling off and the sheets pulled halfway off the mattress was the—

That sickening, painful pressure leaped right back into her chest again as she looked at the disheveled mess that was her bed. Even though last night’s storm had passed, the damaged remained. It was not the same. It never would be again. It was impossible.

She slowly crept toward it, almost afraid to get on it. All the chaos of the previous night was still evident. Her bed sheet was blown away, untucked from three of the four corners. The pillows turned every which way still. She was just too tired to fix them last night, and there was no time to set them this morning. And… And it’s not like she was in any mood to do it anyway.

Why did it matter? It wasn’t like it mattered to him. It shouldn’t matter to her either. She was tired anyway. Her bed was her spot, and she wasn’t going to let a stupid dragon ruin something that was hers.

She climbed onto the mattress, creeping her way up to the pillows. She reached out and pulled one underneath her head and laid there on her side. She just needed a nap. That was all. She’d rest for an hour or two, go to Rarity’s place to pick up the new tablecloths and then she could come back and clean up her room. Business as usual. She just needed to sleep and forget anything and everything that happened.

She shut her eyes, taking in the peace. After a few seconds, she could hear the birds chirping outside the window, their song providing the perfect ambiance for a mid-morning nap. They didn’t worry about anything. All they cared about was flying and feeding their babies and singing to each other.

A few more seconds passed, and she could feel the soft caress of the mattress and pillow beneath her. She wanted so desperately to pull the blankets up over her, but that required too much energy for right now. Maybe… Maybe in a bit. But the mattress was comfortable enough. Her body sunk just far enough into it. She could feel it balance her perfectly; it relaxed her. She could feel her body slowly falling into it. She could feel the slight indentation where his weight pushed her into it, testing every last spring her bed had.

A smile formed on her lips. She giggled ever so softly and—

“No!”

Her eyes flew open followed by a barrage of short, shallow breaths. She half expected to see him there, laying next to her still. Of course, that wasn’t the case.

She shook the thoughts away the best that she could. “Just… Just take it easy, Starlight. Relax.”

She closed her eyes again, this time focusing on the feel of the pillow beneath her head. It cradled her, soothing the headache that had plagued her since she got up that morning… alone. By herself.

It was alright, though! If things were going to be the same, the best way to do it was to pretend that nothing ever happened, right? Spike was way ahead of the game there, and she was going to match him step for step.

The pillow sure was comfortable, anyway. She nuzzled into it, feeling the soft downy feathers, the furtive dampness, the subtle scent of sweat that drifted into the air from it. The aroma carried a comforting sensation with it. Almost a saltiness to it, combined with that cologne he always insisted on wearing just because he spent a king’s ransom to get it. It wafted through her nasal cavities, her heart fluttering as the aroma seeped around her. His hot breath practically burning her cheek as he laid next to her. Her sweat soaked the pillow… and his face as well. It created a shine on his scales that the moonlight reflected off. It made her heart jump in her chest as he pulled her closer to him, laying his head on hers, planting kisses on her cheek, driving her head into the pillow, her whole body on fire as he gripped her tighter. His muscular arms wrapped around her neck, his body on hers, the stench rifling through the air every time the blankets shifted, the—

Ahh!”

She shot up in her bed, her chest heaving. She looked around her room, once again expecting him to be there only to find herself alone. She was panting, her body heating up at an alarming rate. That smell, that emotional tug, that comfort, that security, that feeling of closeness… it all lingered. It wouldn’t go away. She wanted it to go away.

She wanted it to stay forever.

She collapsed on the mattress again, this time her head facing the south end. She didn’t bother closing her eyes, instead choosing to stare at the pale green color of the last remnants of bedsheet. It was holding on for dear life. She could still make out the small tears where Spike’s claws got a little too frisky. She could see the light, pale salt remnants where the pools of sweat had dried up.

She could see the large, ovular, dark stain. She felt a shudder up her spine. It had no scent, no other markings, but she knew exactly what the mark was from. It almost made her gag. It also put another smile on her face.

“Ugh!”

She turned her head and burrowed it into the bed. Why? Why was this so hard for her? Why couldn’t she just let this go and pretend it never happened?

She felt a slight soreness in her neck at this new angle and reached a hoof to search out the cause. She felt a few scratches underneath the fur. That’s right. Spike knew precisely where to nip at her, and he didn’t go halfway. He went the whole nine yards and a few more for added measure.

And that tongue. The blackness behind her eyelids was a flash of bright light as she felt his tongue slither around her neck and inside her mouth. The taste of his breath; the hot, smoky flavor from his lungs. The salty, pungent taste of her body on his quivering lips…

“No, no, no!”

That was the final straw. She had enough. She wouldn’t be getting any extra sleep, and she needed to get out of her room for a bit. She could already feel the burning in her body again, and she just needed to get away. She needed to start her day.

She needed to be like him and leave. Pretend it didn’t happen. Not give it a second thought. Not care at all.

She was going to Rarity’s and getting her day started.

She hopped off the bed, shaking her head, trying to rid herself of all the insanity and emotion infiltrating her mind. She’d have to sort it out later. She grabbed a nearby towel and cleaned the sweat off her brow before heading out the door.

She could handle this. She was an adult after all. This should be easy.

Right?


“Oh, Starlight! Do come in!” Rarity stepped aside from the doorway, allowing entry to her guest. “You’ll have to forgive the mess; it’s been one of those mornings.”

“It’s okay, Rarity, I understand completely.”

Starlight trotted in, doing her best to smile. Rarity wasn’t wrong. The living area was definitely in a state of disarray: cloth thrown this way and that, the fainting couch littered with spools of thread and pieces of scrap fabric. The lights hadn’t even been turned on yet.

Starlight chuckled, looking around the room. “I take it this is another example of your ‘organized chaos’?”

Rarity shook her head. “I’m afraid not. This is simply ‘chaos.’”

The two shared a quick laugh before Rarity used her magic to clear off the couch.

“Please, have a seat, darling.”

Starlight nodded and did as she was bid. She climbed up onto the couch and nestled herself in comfortably. “Thank you. I have to give you props; your furniture is way more comfortable than anything we have in the castle.”

Rarity smiled. “Why of course. When it comes to the importance of good home décor and furnishings, one must spare no expense.”

Starlight watched Rarity toss a few more items out of the way into seemingly random baskets and piles, cleaning up the best she could.

“So, I assume you’re here for the tablecloths?” Rarity asked.

“Yep,” Starlight replied. “Twilight insisted on upgrading the ones we had. I don’t get it, but I stopped trying to understand her a long time ago.”

Rarity giggled, placing a hoof over her mouth. “Twilight is such a dear, but she does tend to get herself worked up over the smallest of details sometimes. Then again, it’s not as if I have room to talk. But such is the life of a dress designer, I suppose.”

“Fair enough.” Starlight smiled at her.

This was nice. A friendly visit, a change of scenery, no stress. Just what the doctor ordered.

“I used to be far worse, however,” Rarity continued. “A single stitch out of place and I’d lock myself in my room for the rest of the day. Luckily, I’ve had the privilege of having Spike’s help over the years.”

Starlight felt every strand of fur on her body stand on end.

“He helped me tremendously with seeing the bigger picture of things and helping me to relax on even the most stressful of days.” Rarity released a small laugh. “He really does have a good head on his shoulders. I’m glad you two have been able to grow so close over the years.”

“Y-Yeah…” No. Why was this happening? Why can’t she escape it? “I’m glad, too.”

“Anyhow,” Rarity stated. “Give me one-moment dear, and I’ll go get your tablecloths. Oh! Would you like some tea? I just had some made up. Orange peel and cinnamon, to be precise.”

“No, I’m okay,” Starlight replied. “I already had my coffee this morning. I appreciate it, though.”

Rarity smiled and trotted off into another room, leaving Starlight alone with her thoughts.

She had to take a few more deep breaths to collect herself. This was becoming a pattern at this point: get on the verge of happiness, dig up not-even-remotely repressed thoughts of the previous night and delve into mental confusion all over again.

Everything was so pent up inside her. It had been building since the moment she watched him walk out the door last night. Every waking minute of the night where she hoped he’d come back and talk and help her understand things. All morning long. The entire trot over to Rarity’s. It was a fuse that was burning closer and closer to its end, her sanity turning to ash with each minute that passed.

She needed to let it out. She needed to talk about it. She needed to tell somepony. But who could she possibly tell? Spike obviously didn’t want to talk. He hadn’t even bothered trying. Twilight was entirely out of the question. Starlight valued having a place to live and not being a crater, after all. She was at Rarity’s house, but there was no way she could bring it up to her. Rarity and Spike were like best friends. And besides, she was so prim and proper; she’d never look at her the same way ever again. There was just no way she could bring it up.

“Alright dear,” Rarity said in her happy, sing-song tone, strolling into the room carrying the tablecloths on her back and a cup of tea in her magic aura. “I made sure the cloth was of the finest quality and that the stitching was of the utmost—”

I had sex with Spike! Eep!”

Starlight threw her hooves over her mouth, and the only sound that could be heard was glass shattering against the floor. Starlight lay as still as possible, eyes wider than the pit that was forming in her chest. Rarity, for her part, stood motionless, staring in the same direction she was before, her mouth frozen mid-sentence where she was cut off.

That was it. The dam had broken, the levees failed, and there were no lifeboats to be found. It was all over. Starlight needed to get out while she still could. If she were lucky, Rarity would chalk it up to a miscommunication and never bring it up again. She could slide off the couch, grab the tablecloths with her magic, make a clean getaway and—

“I-I’m sorry, Starlight.” Rarity levitated the tablecloths over to a nearby chair and rubbed her right ear with a hoof. “I’m not sure I heard you correctly. W-What were you saying about you and Spike?”

Starlight sighed. Rarity was giving her an out, a chance to backpedal and move on, but no. She needed to talk about it. Even if it was uncomfortable, she needed to get this off her chest, or she was going to go insane.

“No,” Starlight said, meeting Rarity’s eyes directly. “You heard me right. Spike and I… we… we shared something personal last night. We had sex.”

“Oh… Um, Oh dear.” Rarity cautiously stepped forward, darting her eyes around as if looking for her own escape from the situation. “I see. Have you, um, have you told anypony else this?”

Starlight shook her head. “No. You’re the first.”

Rarity bit her lip. “Okay. Well, I wasn’t even aware you two were a couple. Perhaps I should pay more attention to my friends.”

“That’s because we aren’t,” Starlight said, her eyes dropping to the cushions she was perched on. “I honestly don’t know what we are right now.”

Rarity cocked her head to the side. “So, you’re not a couple, but you had, well, intimate relations with each other. Is that it?”

Starlight nodded. “Yeah. It was last night. We were talking in my room about stuff. About the dancing competition we had coming up, how silly Twilight was being about something I can’t even remember right now and just other usual stuff. We were laying on my bed, just talking. We always do that. But then…. Well, something changed.”

Rarity took a few steps toward her nearby easy chair and sat down. “Okay, I’m following you. What changed, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I don’t know,” she replied, bringing her eyes up again. “One second we were talking, and he said something. Something adorable. He said he liked having me around. That I was special, and he was glad we met.”

Rarity cracked a small smile. “Spike is quite the sweetheart at times.”

Starlight put on a smile of her own and gently bobbed her head. “Yeah, he is. But this time, I don’t know, I felt something inside when he said that. I… I scooched toward him and nuzzled against his cheek. And instead of just nuzzling me back or shoving me or something like usual, he pulled me toward him and…”

“And…?”

“He kissed me.” Starlight looked at the ceiling, a wide smile of pure elation on her face. “And I kissed him back. I should’ve just pushed him away, called him a dork or something. But, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. It was like… Like I wanted him to kiss me. I’ve wanted him to kiss me for a long time, but it took until he did it for me to realize it.” Starlight shook her head. “I can’t explain it. I probably sound really stupid, huh?”

“No dear, not at all.” Rarity had a sympathetic chuckle on her face. “I understand what you’re saying perfectly. You like him, don’t you?”

“Heh, apparently,” she replied with a snort. “After what I let happen last night, I don’t think there’s any question about that.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” The white unicorn laid back in her chair. “But, forgive me if I’m being too bold, but if you two like each other and acted on it, why are you bringing this to me?”

“Because.” Starlight felt that deep knot forming in her stomach again. “Because I don’t think he feels the same way.”

Rarity put a hoof to her chin. “What makes you say that?”

“It was pretty obvious,” she replied, stamping a hoof into the couch. “When we were done with, well, you know, he just… he just held me for a minute, said he had to leave and just… left!” She felt a tear drip down from her eye and quickly wiped it off. Now was not the time for that.

“Oh, I see, I see.” Rarity shook her head. “And you didn’t want him to leave. Did you two get a chance to talk about the situation since then?”

She violently shook her head. “Heh, no. He’s barely made eye contact with me. I waited all night for him to come back. To at least acknowledge me, pretend that what we did mattered. Say that he cared. I waited for him to do or say something, anything! But he just left me there… by myself.”

And now the tears were flowing freely, staining the couch cushions with little remorse. Rarity immediately got up from her seat and hopped onto the couch next to Starlight, wrapping her in a hug.

“There, there, Starlight, it’ll be alright.” Rarity ran a hoof through her mane a few times. “I promise, it’ll be okay.”

“How can you say that?” Starlight said, leaning against her. “I can handle rejection. I can handle someone not sharing my stupid feelings. But I live with him. I have to see him every day. I don’t think things can ever be the same between us again and… and I don’t know how I can bear to have to see him every time I leave my room! It’ll just hurt too much.”

“Starlight…” Rarity said in a calm, soothing voice. “First things first, it won’t be that bad. No matter what happens, we’ll figure something out. But, more importantly, you don’t even know how Spike feels about all this, do you?”

She lifted her head up. “What do you mean? He made it pretty obvious.”

Rarity shook her head. “Darling, when it comes to love and sex, males are possibly the most idiotic creatures on the face of the planet. Without talking to him directly, you have no idea what Spike is feeling. Did the idea cross your mind that perhaps Spike was just as confused as you are and that’s why he left?”

Starlight blinked a few times. “N-No. I guess I didn’t even think about it like that. But, if he was confused, why didn’t he talk about it? He wouldn’t just leave and ignore me. That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Once again, males are idiots about these things.” Rarity let go of the embrace and cleared her throat. “Now, I can’t speak for Spike’s feelings on the matter, but I do believe we both know that he’s never been one to hurt anypony intentionally. I strongly recommend that you talk to him about how you’re feeling as soon as possible. After that, you can decide what you need to do, okay?”

“But…” Starlight took a few shallow breaths. “What if he doesn’t want to talk? What if he drops the subject and blows me off again?”

“It’s quite simple, dear.” Rarity giggled. “Don’t let him. Force him to have this conversation with you. Don’t give him any other options.”

Starlight turned her gaze away from Rarity for a moment. She was right. They needed to talk. She wasn’t quite ready to abandon her fears and just accept things would turn out okay, but they owed it to each other to talk about it. They’ve been so close for so long. It was the least that needed to happen.

For better or for worse.

“Thanks a lot, Rarity.” Starlight levitated over the tablecloths and slung them over her back. “I may as well get this whole thing out of the way, then.”

She was terrified of the idea. Embarrassed even. But one thing her life had taught her was that hiding from your problems never led to anything good. She was going to figure things out.

She had to.

Author's Note:

Oof.